This is the Speech, Thought and Writing Presentation Corpus compiled by Elena Semino, Mick Short and Martin Wynne at Lancaster University 1995-9. Contact e.semino@lancs.ac.uk, m.short@lancs.ac.uk or martin.wynne@oucs.ox.ac.uk. The corpus markup is not real SGML, as SGML outlaws overlapping elements and so linguistic annotations which cross textual boundaries cannot be encoded. It would be desirable at some point to make all of the markup conformant with the recommendations of the Text Encoding Initiative (TEI) and to make the whole thing XML. Some textual and annotation errors in this text have been identified, and will be corrected for a future release. Please see http://www.comp.lancs.ac.uk/computing/users/eiamjw/stop/ for updates. Errors can be reported to martin.wynne@oucs.ox.ac.uk.
Title: Three Times Table Author: Sara Maitland Publication: Chatto & Windus Ltd., London, 1990. B Lorry driver D those skinny men H Jim J Phoebe K Rachel L Lisa M Sue Y All characters in the house X the women Z the boys

His eagerness made her, suddenly, want to be intelligent again. Under his dynamic tutelage she started reading - not the literature of her childhood, but hard politics, sociology, philosophy, ideas, and experimental fiction. To please him she learned to talk about what she read and what she thought. He was, and she forced herself to remember this with gratitude, one of the best talkers she had ever met; funny and fast. Passionate, and unashamed. A man who could and would talk the hind legs back on to an injured donkey, provided it had decent proletarian credentials. They had all learned from him; she and Lisa still spoke, stylistically, as he had taught them to. He had set his mark on them.

Where was he now? Phoebe, lying on her bed in her mother's house in north London, asked herself with a sudden rush of nostalgia. In what corner of what foreign field did he still keep the faith, further the revolution, wake up his current lover at three in the morning to discuss the delicate interweavings of class and race. She could not bear to think that he had taken all that pure wrathful zeal into marketing or insurance broking. Occasionally she half hoped to see him again, she would find herself watching faces rising towards her on the escalator of the Tube and wonder what she would feel if one of those faces were suddenly to be his. Where had they all gone, those extraordinary skinny left-wing men, who had bullied their girl-friends into the Women's Movement and been surprised when the hand with which they had so kindly offered freedom had been bitten so damn hard? Nearly twenty years later Phoebe still found it hard to suppress a little vindictive chuckle at the looks of growing shock on Jim's face - Jim and Lisa's Jonathan and Sue's Alan - when they discovered that their righteousness was not enough. Their women, far from being grateful, turned on them, snarling, in late night conversations telling them to shut up; far from setting them free to work for the Revolution, their women demanded that they take emotional responsibility and also clean the loos. And finally, only a year or so later, turned them out of house and home - put them on the street, as women who failed to be properly grateful to the fathers had been put for centuries.

But even as she chuckled, Phoebe knew now that this was not fair. There had been a time, a brief time, a glorious dawn, when despite her growing awareness of her own sexual failure, despite her anger and frustration, despite her own laziness and lack of commitment, there had been a time when she had been happy and hopeful and joyous.

It had not, as it turned out, been Jim that had made the happiness for her, but the house itself. However he, with his determined hands and determined nose, had been her way in. She did not know where he was now and she did not really care, but he had probably been the most influential person in her life: her handsome prince and Maggie's father. He had given her that household, a little society, warming itself in its own glow of virtue, insulating itself from the big bad world; but within its own limits it had been open and supportive. She had, during that year, woken some mornings giddy with courage and boldness, excited and certain. Motivated.

It had been, however briefly, a time when her body and her mind had fitted together so tidily and wholely that, waking up one morning and deciding that it was time to go back to Oxford and visit her mother, was neither traumatic nor casual, but straightforward. She had discussed it with her family; hugged Lisa and Sue, kissed Jim, left home, and taken the tube to Acton where she stuck out her thumb on the edge of the A40 on a smiling spring day and gone home.

Had that, she wondered now, been a mistake? A kindly lorry driver on his way to North Wales, chatting of his own daughter and his home, had dropped her at the roundabout at the top of the Banbury Road at about lunch-time. She had walked down through suburban Summertown, taking her time but without reluctance; watching the tidiness of the shoppers and the smartness of the shops with something akin to smugness - how little energy and vitality they had, compared to her own shopping street, with its untidy market atmosphere permeating even the Safeways and Boots which had tried to raise their modern, never-had-it-so-good façades in challenge to the poverty and squalor, and had failed.

Two blocks away from the house of her childhood it suddenly occurred to her that her mother might have left that there might be strangers in the hallway, a different set of curtains hanging at the windows; her father's study might have been turned into a playroom for a new generation of North Oxford children, so different from herself in her prim Clark's T-bar sandals that she would not be able to recognise her own infancy in theirs. It would be too humiliating to have to contact her mother through her publishers or her employers. How could one ring a bell on a house door in respectable places like this and say,

"Excuse me does my mother live here?"

That was the stuff of melodrama, and now she was back in Oxford she knew she was somewhere, somehow, still too middle-class, too much her father's daughter, to want that. This was leafy north Oxford, this was the pace of security. This was the corner to which she had tottered, her mother holding her on white leather reins, her legs encased in knitted leggings whose scratchiness she could still remember. This was the street along which she had run, a skinny and excited ten-year-old, to boast to her father that she was the only girl who had made it to the next round of the chess competition. This was the pavement along which, awkward and gawky, she had struggled to find a graceful, even a comfortable, way of carrying her cello to and from her chamber music group.

She hesitated at the corner, reluctant almost to discover that she was now, as of this moment, completely lost in the world, and for the first time she asked herself clearly why she had decided to come here. This was not home. Home was in Peckham, in the shabby house whose light spilled each evening out onto the street. Family was Jim and the others; family was her women's group and squabbling at two-thirty in the morning about whether women could be said to constitute a separate class because they had a separate relation to the mode of production, while still making each other coffee and giving each other hugs. And love was standing outside the local supermarket collecting signatures for the campaign to keep Family Allowance as a separate benefit. She had forsaken her people and her father's house, and had, like every other well-brought-up girl, established her own household and she should cleave only unto it, forsaking all others so long as she should live. She did not know why she had come. Not certainly to reassure her mother, but ...to boast of her new self! To show off?

And then the moment had passed, and tall and tanned and fit in the sunshine she had walked down the green street with the gardens either side of her, and had known by an instinctive glance that her mother still lived there, that nothing had changed.

She rang the doorbell, listened to the silence within and felt a moment of panic. Then she laughed at herself, with an edge of self-mocking irony. All her self-righteousness had failed to inform her that her mother, a hardy professional, was certainly still at work in the city that she had left behind her. They had probably passed each other on the road. She went back to the corner and across to the nearby pub, where she sat sipping beer, munching a cheese sandwich, and waiting.

She had waited all afternoon - later sitting in the garden and reading. When the sun moved round she too had moved to the doorstep, her sleeves rolled up and concentrating half on the book and half on the remembered scene until her mother had arrived, walking up the street where they had both walked so many times before.

That had been the moment of her undoing. Her mother had got older, fatter and sadder. Phoebe felt an enormous, and unwelcome, surge of pity, of compassion and caring; and with it guilt. In one swoop the feeling swallowed her up and she had never got rid of it since. She saw in Rachel's face three years of loss and loneliness; she saw too the simpler anger that Rachel would never dare to express. And to cover up the dreadfulness of the moment, the pain of the knowledge that Rachel had become old, alone, and friendless, she had giggled and said something about having lost her key. She felt the deep need in Rachel's hug, and responded to it, but it was Rachel's need not her own.

She was furious. Her fury made her aggressive and she attacked. She was mean and horrible to her mother, snide, self-righteous and unkind. Only in her anger could she drown out the dark shadow that pity and guilt had cast over her. She hated herself for it and went on and on, convinced that her only defence was to make Rachel throw her out again, and Rachel refused to be provoked. Finally Rachel responded and Phoebe had forgotten in her wanderings just how bloody clever Rachel was. How well she could keep control and use words and manipulate their meanings and score points. It was this ruthless clarity and brightness that she had run away from. She, Phoebe told herself, did not play those stupid games any more, she was direct and straightforward.

But her mouth motored on and what came out was simply, and childishly, rude. Phoebe felt foolish. Rachel seemed able to absorb everything that Phoebe tried. She was calm and sweet and later insisted on taking Phoebe out to dinner at some fancy little pseudo-Bohemian bistro. Then to her final and total humiliation Phoebe found that she was actually having a good time; she was enjoying her mother and her mother's easy authority and charm. Her mother, she thought with a most annoying pride, who was one of the few genuinely creative women scientists around and in whose success, were it anyone except her mother's, she would be rejoicing.

She went to bed in her own room, still full of pictures and possessions that had belonged to a previous and vanished Phoebe. She curled up in the position she had slept in as a child; and realised with a sinking heart that it was not only the most comfortable way of being in bed, but it was also one that you could not adopt in company. She thought that she never wanted to sleep with Jim again, that the bonds of love were snares and that she must at all costs leave as early as possible the next morning and never come back. She had a clear and frightening premonition that she would not be able to manage it.

Perhaps if she had not got pregnant ...perhaps they could have pulled it off. Perhaps not. Now she no longer knew. She found it hard to remember with any precision exactly what had happened next. She remembered a little of the acrimony, of the mounting bitterness within the house, of their winter of discontent, which was so much part of and not part of the winter outside, and the miners' strike. But the light no longer poured out of their house and onto the street; the power cuts, although they supported them passionately, cut off their power somewhere. Jim and Jonathan especially were never there, and the arguments about washing up versus serving the revolution lost their gaiety and became mean-mouthed. Alan and Sue moved out, went north to do something else.

Phoebe had not seen Alan since, though Sue had moved back again briefly later that winter, saddened and distressed by Alan's disaffection. She had been part of a long stream of women who had come and gone swiftly, lives collapsing in one area as they gained power and certainty in another. Suddenly there were too many women realising that their happiness had to be taken at the expense of their men's - men who had promised so much and could not now deliver the goods; just like her father five years before. Lisa and Phoebe shared the painful knowledge that they had been conning themselves as well as their men.

How had a Conservative Government happened? Where were the golden days which Paris and Chicago and Grosvenor Square had promised them? In the meantime, the miners represented hope for all of them, but within the giddy cycle of excitements they were all edgy with new fears and old illusions.

After Sue and Alan left, Lisa and Phoebe had invited their neighbour Jo and her lover Sophie to come and share the house with them. Jim and Jonathan had been away, picketing and pamphleteering in Reading, had simply been not available, and Jo's squat had been suddenly repossessed and it did not occur to any of the women that the boys would mind. Sophie moreover actually had a job, had an income, which was beginning to be something of a pressing issue, inflation and the changing climate began to bite into their indifferent superiority to the outside world and they had given no thought as to how to fight that. Then the boys, as it turned out, minded bitterly having Jo and Sophie. Since, on principle, they could not say that lesbianism made them nervous and that the complex new demands made on them scared them, they found more underhand and aggressive ways of expressing their resentments. The women outnumbered them and plotted together. Having the other two women in the house taught Lisa something new about herself; she and Jonathan stopped sleeping together, which left them all short of space. Phoebe felt betrayed by Lisa's desertion. She and Jim talked together secretly about leaving the house and going off to somewhere "more committed", but Phoebe could not bring herself to give up the only home she knew of, could not bring herself to choose absolutely Jim's commitments over the women's commitments.

Title: The Five Gates to Hell Author: Rupert Thomsom Publication: Bloomsbury, London, 1991. B Sir Charles Dobson C Vasco D generic "you" E Voice-over F door J Creed K Jed L Carol M Lady Dobson O Dobson's resignation statement Z one of the papers Y the dinner guests

There are times when your life seems to jump tracks. Slow train to fast, local to express. You have the sense that, from now on, you'll be travelling on a different line, you'll be seeing different views through the window.

It was November and Jed had just turned twenty-two. Creed opened the glass panel one morning as they were returning from the airport and said, "Where do you live, Spaghetti?"

"Mangrove East."

Creed shook his head. "I need you closer."

It was exactly what Jed had been waiting to hear, but he kept his voice level. "Where've you got in mind, sir?"

"The Palace."

Jed's heart lifted in his ribs. The Palace was where Creed lived, in a penthouse suite on the fourteenth floor, so the idea made perfect sense. But the Palace was also the most exclusive apartment hotel in the city. It was located on Ocean Drive, between C and D it took up the entire block. With its two twin towers of baroque grey stone, it was just about the only building in Moon Beach that wasn't either white or pale-blue. Its lobby was the size of a railway station, all peach marble and glass and gilded metal. The central chandelier was gold-plated and weighed, it was rumoured, something in the region of half a ton. Everyone had stayed at the Palace. Heads of state, movie-stars, tycoons. Just to be able to give it as your address!

"You'll be in the basement," Creed said, "but it should be adequate." He allowed himself a smile. "It can hardly fail to be an improvement on Mangrove East, in any case."

Jed moved that same week. To reach his new apartment you had to use the old tradesmen's entrance: past the service elevator, down four flights of stairs, along a corridor with a linoleum floor. The basement of the Palace was a lost kingdom of storerooms, washrooms and boiler-rooms. Fat grey pipes hugging the ceilings, dull yellow walls. The air smelt of lagging, paint, damp. And also, ever so faintly, and inexplicably, of marzipan. In the end you came to a door that said (and this was equally inexplicable) 3D. There was no 3C and no 3E. There wasn't even a 3A. 3D was unique and without context. It was another dimension. It was Jed's new home.

There were two rooms, both painted a tired pale-green. There was a bed, a TV, a phone. There was air-conditioning. That was about it. If you parted the net curtains and peered sideways and upwards you could see one tiny piece of bright blue sky, but you might pull a muscle doing it. A constant clash and tinkle came from the kitchens across the courtyard, like the percussion section of an orchestra from hell. At night the boiler took over, roaring and trembling until dawn. During his first week in the Palace he hardly slept.

It was during the second week that Carol asked him to dinner at her parents' place. As the taxi moved down off the harbour bridge and into the suburb of Paradise, he remembered what Vasco had said, and turned to her.

"Your father," he said, "is he really the chairman?"

Carol looked embarrassed. "Yes."

He sat back. Jesus. So her father really was the chairman. Her father was Sir Charles Dobson.

"Why?" Carol said. "Didn't you know?"

"No, not really. Vasco said something about it, but I didn't believe him."

"I thought everyone knew." And she gave him a smile that resembled gratitude. It was as if, in not knowing, he'd paid her a great compliment.

Sir Charles and Lady Dobson lived on Pacific Drive, a road that wound its way through the canyons, then doubled back towards the ocean to link, eventually, with the South Coast Expressway. The house was one of the white, wedding-cake mansions in the 10,000 block, high wrought-iron gates and video security, and just the hills rising in silence behind.

Jed paid the taxi and stood still. You needed millions to breathe this air. This air exactly, right here. Millions. And suddenly he took the rumours and put them on like a coat. Lifted and dropped his shoulders a few times, he'd seen people do it when they tried on clothes in stores. Not a bad fit. Maybe he really was a cunning son of a bitch, just like Vasco said he was. Certainly he was thinking all those thoughts. Jed Morgan, he was thinking. Chairman.

Dinner was plate after plate of food he'd hardly ever set eyes on, let alone eaten: caviar, bortsch, salmon, duck. And then, as if that wasn't indigestible enough, the conversation turned to the subject of advertising. The new Paradise Corporation commercial had just aired the previous night. Jed had seen it. It opened with a black screen and a voice that said, "This is probably the most frightening place in the world." It pulled back slowly to reveal a fringe of green around the black. You were looking into an open grave. The voice went on to say that, when you were faced with something as frightening as death, you needed the right people around you, and the right people were the Paradise Corporation etc. etc. One of the papers had attacked the commercial for being too emotive. People at the dinner table were springing to the commercial's defence, using words like "honest" and "bold".

"Well," Jed said, speaking up for the first time, "at least there weren't any tolling bells in it." All the talk around him suddenly subsided he felt strangely shipwrecked in the silence. "I used to work on commercials for funeral parlours," he went on. "I used to think that if I heard one more tolling bell, I'd go out of my mind."

After the laughter had died away, he told a story about one particular commercial that he'd worked on. It was a testimonial for a funeral parlour which had dealt with the victims of a forest fire. He needed the sound of a forest fire running under the voice-track, but he couldn't find the effect on file. It was seven at night and the commercial had to be presented at breakfast the next day. In the end he had no choice. He had to create the effect himself.

"How did you do that?" Lady Dobson asked.

"I'll show you," Jed said, "but I need absolute silence."

Out of his left pocket he produced a handful of candy-wrappers and, during the hush that followed, he created a forest fire for the Dobsons and their guests in the Dobson's very own dining-room.

It was a great success.

"And these are only Liquorice Whirls," he said. "In those days I was eating Almond Toffee Creams and they came in much cracklier paper."

Either Sir Charles had forgotten what Jed did, or else nobody had bothered to tell him, because he now leaned forwards and, impressed, it seemed, by Jed's ingenuity and verve, said, "Perhaps, young man, you should come and work for me."

All eyes locked on Jed.

He waited three seconds. You have to time things.

"But Sir Charles," he said, "I already do."

He looked round. People were weeping with laughter. He caught Carol's eye, and winked. His skin had picked up a glow from the lilies on the table. The candlelight had taken his cheap suit and made it over in some priceless fabric. The vintage wine had anointed his tongue with new and seductive language. He could do no wrong. When the meal was over, Sir Charles escorted him into the library.

He watched Sir Charles cut the tip off his cigar. Being old had done something to Sir Charles's face, something that being poor sometimes did. It had sucked the colour out. Eyes, hair, skin: all different shades of grey and white. Distinguished, yes. But colourless. And cheeks with folds in them, like old wallets. He wondered how much Sir Charles was worth.

But now the cigar was lit and, turning to Jed, Sir Charles spoke through billowing smoke. "So who exactly do you work for?"

"I work for Mr Creed. I'm his driver."

Maybe it was only a coincidence but, as soon as Jed pronounced the name of his employer, the cigar fell from Sir Charles's fingers. It bounced on the carpet, shedding chunks of red-hot ash.

"God-DAMN." Sir Charles spread his legs and stooped. He flicked the ash towards the fireplace with the back of his hand. Then he stuck the cigar between his teeth and slowly sucked the life back into it.

"Let me ask you something, Jed," he said, when the smoke was billowing once more. "Have you ever been to head office?"

"I have, yes."

"What did you think of it?"

The head office of the Paradise Corporation, as Sir Charles knew perfectly well, was just about the most famous building in the city. Built entirely of black glass, it marked the beginning of what was known as Death Row, a stretch of downtown First Avenue where most of the big funeral parlours had their offices. All night long lights burned in the central elevator shaft and in the windows of the twenty-fifth floor. The result was a white cross that stood out among the familiar neon logos of airlines and oil companies. The cross was a landmark. You could even buy postcards of it. Jed had only been inside the building once, and all he could remember was the angel. She was part sculpture, part fountain. Her head and body were metal and her wings were water, water that was forced through holes in her back and lit from beneath so it looked solid, like glass. He remembered the hiss of those wings, the lick and swish of revolving doors, the warble of phones. All tricks a hypnotist might use. Forget your loss. Forget your grief. He remembered drifting, drifting close to sleep.

"You walk into that building," Sir Charles said, "and you know you're in capable hands." Clouds of smoke trailed over his shoulder as he paced. "You've got to win people's trust. Trust is very important. Without trust," and he came to a standstill and tipped his chin into the air, the thought still forming.

"Without trust," Jed said, "we wouldn't be standing here now."

Sir Charles swung round. "Precisely." For a moment he was rendered motionless by surprise, a kind of respect. But only for a moment. "What I'm trying to say to you is, this is a hard business. A cut throat business at times. But you should always remember one thing. It's people that you're dealing with. People." He thrust both hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. "I'm sixty-nine and I'm still working. Nobody really retires from this business. It's a way of life."

He showed Jed to the door of the library. "Is there anything I can do for you, my boy?"

"Not that I can think of."

Then his face moved close to Jed's, and he said, "Are you interested in my daughter?"

"I'll let you into a secret, Sir Charles," Jed said. "I'm not interested in your daughter at all. I'm just pretending to be. It's your money I'm really after."

Sir Charles stared at Jed, and Jed stared back he wasn't going to help Dobson out with this one. At last a smile began to pull at the folds in Sir Charles's face, as if his cheeks really were wallets and his smile was going through them, looking for cash, then the smile turned to laughter, it pushed between his teeth, it was dry and rhythmic, it sounded uncannily like someone counting a stack of dollar bills. Jed saw Carol at the end of the corridor and began to walk towards her.

"You remember what I said," Sir Charles called after him.

The next day Creed asked Jed to drive him out to the Crumbles. The Crumbles lay to the east of the city. All the land out there had been under water once. It was flat for miles. There were a few wooden beach huts down by the shoreline. Some old mine buildings in the distance, some gravel pits. Otherwise just shingle, grey and orange, and a soft wind tugging at the heads of weeds.

He followed Creed's directions, leaving the road for an unpaved track that seemed to lead towards the ocean. The track widened and then vanished. Then they were driving over rough ground, loose stones popping under the tyres. He parked close to where the land sloped downwards to a narrow pebble beach, and switched the engine off.

Creed stared out of the window, his chin cushioned on one hand, his eyes doubly concealed, first by the tinted windows of the car, then by his sunglasses. Jed thought he understood. It was like Vasco and the mudbanks of the river. It was where Creed came to do his thinking. Where was Vasco? Jed wondered. He'd scarcely set eyes on him since the night they'd had dinner together at the house in Westwood. Nobody had mentioned him either, and Jed didn't feel he should ask. He poured himself a cup of coffee from his private flask and watched the white gulls lift and scatter against the dull grey sky.

The glass panel slid open behind him.

"I heard you were out at Dobson's place last night."

"That's right, sir. I was."

He'd known Creed would find out. He'd even wanted him to. He wanted Creed to be amused, impressed even. A chauffeur at the chairman's dinner table!

"Any particular reason?"

"Carol asked me."

"Carol?"

"His daughter. The receptionist."

Creed said nothing.

"The one with the limp," Jed said.

"I know the one."

Another silence. Wind pushed at the car.

Then Creed said, "Dobson's on his way out."

The chairman? On his way out?

But Creed didn't give Jed time to think. "When a ship sinks," he said, "that's when you see who the rats are. What interests me is which rats leave which ship."

The glass panel slid shut.

One week later Sir Charles Dobson resigned as chairman of the Paradise Corporation. The decision had been taken, the statement said, "for personal reasons". The new chairman, elected unanimously by the members of the board, was Mr Neville Creed. Jed read the statement three times while he was eating breakfast that morning. It sounded calm and measured, utterly reasonable. But he couldn't make any sense of it. He saw Dobson standing in the library. Nobody really retires from this business. It's a way of life. He couldn't make any sense of it at all. And then he saw Creed sitting in the back of a black car parked on the Crumbles. Dobson's on his way out.

Title: Archangel Author: Gerald Seymour Publication: Fontana, London, 1992. C People back in London D the foreign minister H the political officer J Holly K prisoner on train L prisoner on train M consul X unknown Z the warders

His weapon against the rusty binding of the bolt was a fifty kopeck coin.

For more than an hour he had crouched on the floor, bracing himself as the speed changes of the train and the unevenness of the track destroyed the momentum of his painstaking work. With the milled edge of the coin he chipped at the red-brown crust that had formed between the lower lip of the cap of the bolt and the metal sheet plate of the carriage flooring. He had something to show for his effort. A tiny pile of dust debris was collected beside his knee, and some had stained the material of his grey trousers.

Those who had known Michael Holly at his home in the south-east of England, or had shared office and canteen space with him at the factory on the Kent fringes of London, might not now have recognized their man. A year in the gaols had left its mark. The full flesh of his cheeks and chin had been scalped back to the bone. A bright confidence at his eyes had been replaced by something harsher. Clothes that had hung well now fell shapelessly like charity hand-outs. A ruddiness in his face had given way to a pallor that was unmistakably the work of the cells. His full dark hair had been cropped in the barber's chair of the holding prison to a brush without lustre.

This was an old carriage, but still well capable of performing the task set for it when it had first joined the rolling-stock in the year that Holly had been born. It had carried many on this journey. It had brought them in their hundreds, in their thousands, in their tens of thousands along this track. It was a carriage of the prison train that ran twice weekly from the capital city to the interior depths of the Autonomous Soviet Socialist Republic of Mordovia. On the floor, in the filth and the watery amber half-light, he scraped at the bolt that had felt the boots and slippers and sandals of the prisoners who had encompassed his life time. Not easy to prise at the rim of the bolt, because this was a purpose-built carriage. No ordinary carriage, not subject to any hasty conversion to ensure its usefulness, but out of the railway factory yards of Leningrad and designed only for transporting the prisoners. A walkway for the guards, and compartments to separate the convicts into manageable groups, each fitted with small hatches for the dropping of their black bread rations, and unmoveable benches and shelves for a few to sleep on. The carriages had their name. The Stolypin carriage carried the name of the Tsarist minister struck down by an assassin seventy years before. The new men of the Kremlin were not above the simplicity of taking a former idea and adapting it to their needs. The walls, the bars, the bolts and the locks remained; only the prisoners of the regime had changed.

They had brought Holly by car from the Lefortovo gaol to the train while Muscovites still slept. He had barely slept after the meeting with the Consul from the Embassy and the escort of men in the khaki uniforms of the Komitet Gosudarstvennoi Bezopasnosti had taken him still drowsy from the back seat to the train at a far platform. The one who wore on his blue shoulder flash the insignia of major's rank had shaken his hand and grinned a supercilious smile. Into the carriage, the door slammed, the bolt across, the key turned.

Two other men for company. Perhaps they had been loaded on the train many hours before Holly, because they seemed to him to be sleeping when he had first seen them in the darkened carriage. He had not spoken then, they had not spoken since. A barrier existed between them. But they watched him. All through the morning, as they sat on the makeshift bunks, they stared without comment at the kneeling figure who ground away at the rust around the bolt.

The work at the bolt, mindless and persistent, allowed the thoughts of Michael Holly to flow unfettered. The week before had stretched the distance of a lifetime. And the lifetime had ended in a death, and death was the carriage that rolled, shaking and relentless, towards the East.

Where to go back to, where to find the birth? Months, weeks, days - how far to go back? The coin had found the central stem of the bolt, the rust shell was dispersed. The bolt was not strong, arthritic with age and corrosion. How far to go back?

Not the childhood, not the parentage, that was a different story, that was not the work of the last crowded hours. Forget the origins of the man.

What of Millet? Complacent, plausible Millet. But neither was Millet a part of these last days, nor was the journey to Moscow, nor the rendezvous that was aborted, nor the arrest and the trial. Millet had a place in the history of the affair, but that place was not in its present, not in its future.

Where did the present begin?

Michael Holly, now on his knees on a Stolypin carriage floor, and unshaven because they would not permit him a razor, and with the hunger lapping at his belly, had been a model prisoner in the Vladimir gaol/200 kilometres east of the capital. A foreigner, and housed on the second floor of the hospital block in the cell that it was said had held the pilot Gary Powers and the businessman Greville Wynne. Down for espionage, given fifteen years by the courts. Everyone from the governor to the humblest creeping "trustie" knew that Michael Holly would serve only a minimal proportion of those fifteen years. There was a man in England, there would be an exchange. So they gave him milk, they gave him books to read, they allowed food parcels from the Embassy. They waited, and Michael Holly waited, for the arrangements to be made. The Political Officer at Vladimir said that it would not be too long, and the interrogations had been courteous, and the warders had been correct. When they had taken him from the hospital block with his possessions and spare clothes in a cloth sack he had smiled and shaken hands and believed that the flight was close, Berlin he had thought it would be. In Lefortovo holding prison he had learned the truth across a bare scrubbed table from the Consul sent by the Embassy. An obsequious little man the Consul had been, crushed by the message that he brought. The Consul had stumbled through his speech and Holly had listened.

"... It's not that it's anyone's fault, Mr Holly, you mustn't think that. It's just terribly bad luck, it's the worst luck I've heard of since I've been here, that's eight years. It was all set up - well, you know that. People had worked very hard on this matter, you really have to believe that. Well, we can't deliver. That's what it's all about now. A swap is a swap, one man to be exchanged for another. It was you and this fellow, and we can't deliver. I'm dreadfully sorry, Mr Holly, it's the most extraordinary thing but the chap's dead, snuffed it. He had the best medical treatment - well, you'll not be interested in that ..."

The bolt shifted. Holly strained with his fingers to twist the coin under the lip of the bolt. The bolt had moved a millimetre, perhaps two.

"... But I can assure you that people back in London were really most upset at this development.... I'm afraid the Soviets are going to take rather a hard line with you now, Mr Holly. There's no point in my not being frank .... The Foreign Ministry informs us now that, since your parents were both born Soviet citizens, under Soviet law you are a Soviet citizen also. I know, Mr Holly ... you were born in the United Kingdom, you were brought up there, you were in possession of a valid British passport when you travelled to Moscow. The Soviets are going to disregard all that. We've had a hell of a job getting this degree of consular access. I want you to know that. We said they couldn't have the corpse if we didn't get it - that's by the by - but it's understood by both sides that this is the last of such meetings. You're being transferred to the Correctional Labour Colonies, but you won't be classified as a foreigner, you won't be in the foreigners' camp. They're going to take you beyond our reach... Mr Holly, you've always proclaimed your innocence of the charges and accusations made against you. From our side, the Foreign and Commonwealth Office have been very firm too. You are innocent as far as Her Majesty's Government is concerned. We're not wavering from that position. You understand that, Mr Holly? We deny absolutely that you were involved in any nonsensical espionage adventure. It's very important that we continue to take that line, you can see that, I'm sure. Mr Holly, the British government knows that you have supported your parents most generously during their retirement. Your parents will not be abandoned by us, Mr Holly, just as we will not abandon the stance that you were completely innocent of trumped-up charges. You do understand me, Mr Holly...?"

The bolt rose a centimetre.

There was a dribble of sweat at Holly's forehead. Too much space now for the coin to be useful, his finger could slide under the lip. The rough metal edge cut into his finger tip. An eddy of chill air swirled into the carriage, fastening on his knuckles. He heard, louder than before, the dripping clatter of the wheels on the rails beneath him.

"...Look, Mr Holly, I've painted the picture black, because that's the only honest thing to do. We'll keep trying, of course, that goes without saying, but in the present climate of relations there's little chance of your situation altering dramatically. You'll be going to the camps and you have to come to terms with that. What I'm saying is - well, you have to learn to live in those places, Mr Holly. Try and survive, try and live with the system. Don't kick it, don't fight it. You can't beat them. I've lived here long enough to know. In a few years things may change, I can't promise that, but they may. And you have my word that you won't be forgotten, not by Whitehall, not by Foreign and Commonwealth. It's going to boil down to keeping your pecker up, looking on the best side of things. You'll do that, won't you, old chap ... There's not really anything more for me to say. Only I suppose, Good Luck..."

That was what the present had on offer to Michael Holly. A furtive junior diplomat bowing and scraping his way out of the interview section of the Lefortovo, ogling the KGB man and thanking him for a fifteen-minute access to a prisoner for whom the key was now thrown far away.

Forget the present, Holly, reckon on the future. The future is a plate of steel floor covering that creaks and whistles as it is dragged clear of the supports to which it was bolted down thirty years before.

That's the future, Holly.

A steel plate above the stone chippings and wood sleepers that mark the track from Moscow to the East through Kolomna and Ryazan and Spassk-Ryazanski. The chippings are coated in fine snow, and the cold blusters into the carriage through the draught gap. Behind him the men swore softly, breaking their silence.

The train was not running fast. He could sense the strain of the engine far to the front. There was a dawdle in its pace, and there had been times when it had halted completely, other times when it had slowed to a crawl. The daylight was fleeing from the wilderness that he could not see but whose emptiness beyond the shuttered windows he understood. Barely audible above the new-found noise of the wheels, he heard the sharp step of feet in the corridor and close to the door of their compartment. There was the flap of the food hatch swinging on its hinge one door away from his. Holly pushed the steel plate down, eased the bolt back into its socket with his toe.

The flap of the door flipped jauntily upward. A sneering face gazed at the caged men. Three brown paper bags were pushed through the hatch to tumble to the carriage floor. The flap fell back. The two men moved at stoat's speed past Holly. One bag into the hand of the man who was gross and white-skinned, a second for the man with the beard. For a fleeting moment he braced himself for confrontation, suspecting that they would want all three bags, but they left him his. They darted back to their bunk and behind him was the sound of ripping paper. Animals...poor bastards, pitiful creatures. But then at Vladimir, Holly had been segregated from the mass of the zeks, the convicts who formed the greatest part of the prison population. At Vladimir, Holly had been categorized as a foreigner, he had been on the second floor of the hospital block and allowed special food and privileges. There was nothing special for these men. These were the zeks - they might be killers or thieves or rapists or parasites or hooligans. At Vladimir, Holly had been different from these men.

But not any longer. The stammered words of the Consul flooded back to him. He was to be classified as a Soviet citizen, he was being sent to the Correctional Labour Colonies. ...Try and live with the system, don't kick it and don't fight it, you can't beat them. You'll hear of me, you bastard, you'll hear of Michael Holly.

Title: Jane's Journey Author: Jean Bow Publication: The Book Guild Ltd, Sussex, 1991. B Rubletsky C Erkki G headmistress H Hamish's wife J Jane K Riborg L The British X unknown

At twelve Jane was taken to England to be educated and encountered her indelible railway wagon.

The school was large and famous and she hated the institutionalised life - but what to do? If she ran away she would only cause worry to her parents, and anyway, where could she run to, on this island? She was brainy, except for maths, but was blessed with a maths mistress of infinite patience called Miss Walden, who gave her extra lessons. Jane would never forget her unselfish devotion.

Jane was not popular: in order to be popular, you had to be good at games, and Jane was useless at all of them - and they played everything - netball, rounders, tennis, lacrosse, hockey - even cricket - every afternoon, rain or shine, exams or no exams. In cricket they used to put her at "long leg" where the ball hardly ever penetrated, and she would take a book and lie down to read in the long grass. Then on the rare occasion that the ball did come, of course, she missed it.

She loved the country surrounding the school, however. The South Downs with the short springy turf decorated with harebells and scabious, and the deceptively gentle slopes, the horizon constantly moving ahead of you, as you puffed after it. And then at last, the summit, with the cloud shadows scudding across the huge curved expanse and a band of sea which was always surprisingly broad "and above the sea the line of the Downs, so noble and so bare". In those days she had likened the climb to life: she had dared to hope that there might be wonderful things over the horizon. Now she knew that there was probably nothing on the other side. It might be quite bare. But it was still imperative to look to the horizon hopefully, or quit.

The Sussex coast was best seen at a distance, though, for proximity to the sea causes human beings to create great ugliness. India certainly got its own back for the British Raj by imposing this horrific version of the bungalow upon us. Still, as Jane belonged nowhere, Sussex became the nearest thing to home.

Then suddenly, just before the exams, she became popular, and was at a loss to know why. A kind, serene girl called June told her the reason. June was one of those characters who don't develop. At fourteen or forty they are constant, dependable, consistently dispensing happiness wherever they go. "It's because you and Irene are the cleverest," she explained. "And they want you to come top."

"But why?" asked Jane, who was totally non-competitive. "Because Irene's Jewish." For the first time, Jane became aware of anti-Semitism, and it horrified her. She remembered her father's good-humoured jokes about his Jewish friend, but this was different, evil. It made her want to escape from the world. From then on she discovered many things about the human race, but could find no explanations for them.

She did come top, though she did not try and hoped she wouldn't. The congratulations sickened her. The headmistress, who had always ridiculed her for being bad at games, now referred to her as "our best pupil" and gave her a set of Shakespeare, duly inscribed.

University was better, less claustrophobic, more cosmopolitan. There were undisciplined Welsh, well-mannered Iraquis, English slobs, beautiful Norwegians. One of the Norwegian girls, Riborg, was the daughter of a ship owner, but had attended a folk high school, along with children whose parents were cobblers and other manual labourers. How much more civilised, Jane thought, than her own segregated education. Riborg approved of the Iraquis because they wore clean shirts every day, but disapproved of the Welsh because they were dirty and noisy and went round in droves. "They have no dignity and no manners," she observed severely. Once, at school, the girls had amused themselves by putting together the perfect woman, and Jane had been surprised when they chose her eyes, which were large and brown. She had always hankered to be tall and fair, like Riborg. Riborg showed her a photograph album, with herself by a fjord in a miniscule bikini. "What do you think of me appearing like that in front of the men?" she asked in her slow, earnest, Germanic accent, gazing at Jane with steady blue eyes. Then answered her own question. "You see - Norwegian men are very - slow. They need to drink very much spirits to get them going!"

Jane had a fleeting affair with a tall, rangy Scottish lecturer, whose main pleasure was to walk for miles. Sometimes she went with him, but found it hard to keep up. Later she met his wife, a flirtatious, self-centred Latvian whom she was sure must be a Gemini. She told Jane, laughing: "Hamish was a lecturer at Riga University and we were all determined to marry him to get out of Latvia. And I won! It was because I sat at his feet with my blouse undone." Jane understood then why Hamish was so lonely and sad. Latvia's loss had not been his - or Britain's - gain. The same goes for certain other immigrants, such as newspaper proprietors.

Shortly afterwards Jane went to a friend's house in Kensington to a musical party where a famous quartet was playing and, sitting on the stairs, talked to someone whom she took to be one of the players. He turned out to be a friend of the musicians and, within a year, she was launched on her disastrous marriage. She, too, had found her immigrant.

In the difficult job of getting through one's life happily, she had made a bad start. Not all bad, though. It brought her four children who opened up the world for her and unlocked her own narrow viewpoint - though not enough, as events were to show.

And it introduced her to Budapest, a jewel of a city. It was as if some artistic giant at the making of the world had arranged it - with the perfect placing of Buda Hill in a curve of the Danube on an otherwise flat landscape. The spectacular Danube! Yet Karl Marx probably never saw it. He had picnics on Hampstead Heath. And, despite everything, the citizens of Budapest knew how to live. Not like Londoners, rushing home to their dormitories. They enjoyed their city as the eighteenth-century Londoners must have done, before the delightful town houses had been raped and turned into offices.

In Budapest, they still strolled around for the sheer pleasure of it. They played chess on the park benches, and on Buda Hill there was a mega-chessboard, with the men almost human size. Their humour did not consist of mere jokes (though they could make those too) but in their whole attitude to life, as the violin runs through the Benedictus of the Missa Solemnis like a golden thread from which all else rises and falls; an unforced humour which has known tragedy, and learnt to surmount it. Jane saw it in the smallest things, all impossible in self-conscious Britain. At dinner in the garden one evening, for instance, two perfectly ordinary businessmen suddenly burst into a Verdi duet. Her host, Laszlo, an ex-accountant, used to take action directe by tossing down the remains from his dinner plate of fish to the cats waiting beneath the balcony. Another day there was an impromptu competition between Laszlo, his wife, and mother, to see who could crack most eggs between their knees - an extraordinarily difficult feat to achieve. Laszlo was indominately trying to learn English, and when Jane saw him again, ten years later, he had still not progressed beyond the first book, now old and tattered.

Then there was Rubletsky, an old friend of the family, a true Bohemian of the old school and still, at eighty, with as sure a touch in his sculpture and drawings as ever Titian had. He was the complete, unashamed opportunist, with immense charm, and took nothing seriously except his art. He completely changed when he was working. When at play, Jane watched him with delight as he rolled about on the floor with mirth at the English "W". Despite an indigestible plethora of consonants in the Hungarian language, they have no W. "Zee shop - how you call eet? Woll - wort!" He shrieked with uncontrollable glee. He was a spare aquiline man, who had once been court sculptor (and perhaps unofficial jester!) to a mythical-sounding King Zog. Nevertheless, the Communist government had awarded him a life pension, so he had no worries. In the summer, he lived in a little house surrounded by sunflowers higher than it was, beside a village with a pale blue pump in the centre, with geese marching around, pigeons gurgling (they have a different accent on the Continent) and people sitting on walls gossiping in the evening.

Coming back to England from one of these school-holiday visits to Hungary, Jane was more than ever struck by the contrast. Was this the land of Shakespeare, with his spontaneous carnival of images? What had gone wrong, and when? With all their virtues and even (perhaps especially) when they were trying to enjoy themselves, they were stiff, awkward and apologetic. At New Year, compare the joyous skating in Moscow, the balletic conducting of Carlos Kleiber in Vienna (whose grace shone through his shapeless suit!) - with the Trafalgar Square mob! Britain had no style, though it once had. Who had killed it? Had it been Cromwell? Perhaps. The Restoration lacked the spontaneity of the Elizabethan age. But no, she was sure it was Queen Victoria, personally, who had spread this grey fog over Britain from which we've never recovered. Great Victorians like Trollope and the Pre-Raphaelites had been fully aware of what was happening. Perhaps, Jane mused, we should never get over it. The despair in the air was particularly dense at the present time, though its monetarist perpetrators were now fighting a rearguard action against the rest of Europe. But hopelessness, like the class system, had now become so ingrained in the soul, she feared that it could be removed neither by stimuli nor legislation.

The English character puzzled her, so must totally confuse foreigners. "You never know what the English are thinking, because they're always so polite," Riborg had told her. "You don't say "no", but "I will if I can."" But tiny Britain, uniquely among countries, is many nations. We have to watch television to see how the others live. And the weather, from one part of this diminutive island to another, is as varied as the people. There are some general characteristics, however. We are docile and lethargic and much easier to govern than the French. We let off steam in graffiti, vandalism and football hooliganism. Again, unlike the French, we are guilt-ridden. That's why we say "sorry" so often. And we do not take ourselves seriously like the French: we can demolish everything with our humour. We've got a wider lunatic fringe than other nations. We're an odd mixture of tolerance and prejudice, of the apologetic and the arrogant. Nobody understands us: we don't even understand ourselves. But we are fascinated by ourselves - which is why Jane's thoughts rabbited on so long about her country.

After the glimpse of Scandinavia through Riborg, and later the experience of Hungary, Jane was so far carried away by her enthusiasm for classless freedom, the beauty of northern landscapes, plus the humorous awareness of the central European people, that when a Finn crossed her path, she was fair game. A Finn represented the fusion of Scandinavia and Hungary (to which country they were first cousins) so no doubt she expected too much of Erkki. Anyway, he looked like an ageing Nordic god.

He invited her to lunch at his club for international journalists in Carlton House Terrace. They went to hear the Sibelius Violin Concerto superlatively played by Isaac Stern. But then slowly, unwillingly, she had to admit that he was cold and conventional, and his lovemaking was nasty, brutish and short. A sheep in wolf's clothing. A timid, pathetic creature disguised by a big, manly body. "Outers" can be so misleading! The vistas of fir forests, islands and lakes disintegrated into an outer London suburb and a mundane wife called Letitia. She was, he said, bad-tempered, a snob, and he seemed afraid of her - she had obviously married him! Perhaps because of fear, his latest book - a life of Nelson - bore the placating dedication "To Letitia, in gratitude for her sweet company". Sanctimonious fool! So they kissed, for what Jane knew would be the last time, in Belgrave Square. Goodbye to another dream that had died. She felt angry with herself for getting carried away by the ideas in her head, for turning her back on reality. She deserved to pay the price. All the same, she could not bear to listen to the Sibelius concerto for some time afterwards.

True, they had not suited each other, but supposing the chemistry had been right, should such a relationship have been ruined by the wretched man-made social system? There is nothing a woman wants so much as to be in love, and the odds are very much against two "right" people ever finding each other. The whole of human life is a matter of chance, and we only live once! Jane knew from bitter experience that love is a rare thing, so she felt very strongly that nothing should be allowed to come in its way, that nobody should be condemned to endure the rest of life with those two small, sad words: "if only ...".

Jane had played her cards, and played them wrong. She had married too soon and was married too long. She was resigned never to meet the right man. She had to let imagination take over. Her namesake, Jane Austen, she supposed, had found the same, so she invented Darcy and Mr Knightley. The same went for the Brontës (Charlotte's late marriage being irrelevant), so in a perfect world, we should certainly have been deprived of these characters.

Five-year-old Peach could remember, when she was very small, looking up to Lais's great height, trying to catch her sister's impatient glance and sliding her small hand into Lais's cool one, always wanting to be with her, to go where Lais was. Now that she was older she was allowed to sit on the white carpet in Lais's room, waiting while her sister prepared for some evening out. She would hold the beautiful earrings for her or slide sparkling rings on to Lais's white fingers, touching the long lacquered nails wonderingly, her mouth copying Lais's pout as she applied the lovely shiny red lipstick.

Amelie fell and broke her hip just two days before they were due to sail on the liner for France. Lais was furious at the thought of forfeiting the trip; it was to be her first visit to Paris since she had been brought home by Leonie five years ago - "in disgrace", Peach had heard whispered, though she didn't understand why. But it was not Lais's anger that caused their parents to relent and allow them to go alone, it was Leonie's disappointment.

"Very well," Gerard said sternly to Lais while Peach hovered anxiously in the background. "But you will be in charge of your little sister. We are trusting Peach to your care on this trip."

"Don't worry, Gerard," Lais called, dancing her way from the room, "Peach will be just fine. I'll take good care of her."

Peach dashed excitedly along to the nursery, flinging aside the stuffed animals, her teddy, the Raggedy Ann doll and the friendly little dog on wheels, desperately trying to find it. At last! There it was - banished to the back of the toy cupboard by Amelie, angry with Lais for buying something so totally unsuitable. It was still in its elegant burgundy box and Peach ran an admiring finger over the raised gold letters, Cartier. Lifting the lid she flung aside the protective layers of tissue-paper. It was a beautiful grown-up dressing case, fashioned from smooth burgundy leather with a tiny little gold lock and key at the front and on top, her initials. "M.I.L. de C." and then beneath that in gold, "Peach".

Smiling, she turned the tiny key and peered inside. The deep claret suede felt soft to her small exploring fingers. There were little compartments meant for trinkets and jewels, crystal jars with enamelled lids for potions and powders and the prettiest gold and enamel hairbrush and comb. It was Lais's christening gift to her and Peach sat back on her heels, with a sigh of satisfaction. The little case was exactly what she would need for travelling with Lais.

Papa took them to New York. The pier was abustle with voyagers and well-wishers and friends. A band played merrily and to Peach the waiting liner looked as big as their hotel in Florida.

Papa carried Peach up the gangplank and Peach carried her precious case. Their staterooms were filled with flowers and she ran around excitedly, wondering how this could possibly be a boat when it looked just like a proper room, while Gerard talked quietly with Lais, looking very serious. And then there was a flurry of kisses and goodbyes and they were waving to Papa on the pier and throwing coloured streamers while the band played far too loudly and quite suddenly she wanted to cry.

"Oh no you don't," Lais said firmly, "no crying when you're with me." So Peach swallowed hard and licked away the solitary tear that had crept to the corner of her mouth.

The first night at sea Lais dressed her in her prettiest dress - white organdy with a red satin sash and little red slippers - and then she had to sit still so as not to get creased while Lais designed her face for the evening. Lais's dress was as scarlet as Peach's sash, a slender column that foamed around her ankles like the wake left by the liner. At dinner they sat at a table with other people and a big man with a lot of gold braid on his smart jacket who smiled at Peach a lot and told her how pretty she looked. Afterwards they went dancing and Peach sat on a big gilt chair clutching Lais's tiny satin purse to her chest so that it wouldn't get lost because Lais had told her to look after it. After a while she began to yawn. Her eyelids drooped from the smoke and fatigue. It was so noisy and she couldn't see Lais anywhere. Fatherly men patted her head admiringly and older ladies frowned at the sight of her.

"Surely the child should be in bed," they murmured. "Whoever is her mother?"

"She's not my mother," Peach replied sleepily, "she's my sister. Lais."

"Disgraceful," they complained, "keeping a child up like that."

Lais returned and hauled her off to bed angrily. "Stupid busy-bodies," she muttered as she dragged Peach along endless corridors, lurching as the boat swung under their feet, "you didn't want to go to bed, did you?"

"No. Oh no," replied Peach, trying to keep up with Lais's long stride. All she wanted was to be with Lais.

Lais unlocked the cabin door and pushed her inside. "Come on then, into bed with you." She pulled off Peach's pretty white dress hurriedly.

Peach sat on the edge of her bed sliding off the little red slippers. "What about my teeth?" she asked, thinking of her mother.

"In the morning," called Lais, already at the door.

"But Lais. Where are you going?" Peach sat up in bed anxiously. She still wore her vest and knickers and her socks. There was no sign of her nightie, or a drink of milk or anything. And where was Teddy?

Lais hesitated then hurried back across the room and hauled the teddy bear from beneath a pile of clothes. "There," she said. "Now go to sleep."

Peach relaxed under the covers. "Yes," she murmured, yawning. "But Lais. Where are you going?"

"Dancing," said Lais, closing the door.

Lais danced her way across the Atlantic Ocean, sleeping during the day. Peach was placed in the nursery with other children and had a lot of fun there with the nannies and the toys and games. But she was lonely and she missed her mother and Lais. Each night she sat and watched Lais prepare for her evening, but now she had early supper with other children and was tucked up in bed before Lais left for dinner. The rhythm of the boat was soothing, a sort of low wallow and roll that lulled her to sleep like a rocking chair, and only occasionally did she wake when Lais came in, sometimes thinking she heard laughter and voices from the next room.

In Paris they went straight to the de Courmont town house on the Ile St Louis. Peach felt a little awed by its grand rooms and suspicious of those fat babies that Lais called cherubs peeking down at her from the ceilings. She was allowed into the kitchens to have milk and a chunk of bread with chocolate - "pain chocolat" - something Maman would never have permitted had she been there.

One night she awoke with a pain in her stomach. She didn't know how late it was but she climbed out of bed and went in search of Lais. She hurried along the corridor relieved to see that there was a chink of light beneath Lais's door. Opening it she gazed puzzled at the two people there. She didn't recognize Lais at first because she was sort of buried beneath the man. They looked so cosy, she thought enviously, with their arms around each other, but she still wondered why didn't they have their night clothes on?

"My God. Peach!" Lais leapt from the bed wrapping the sheet around her. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"You shouldn't say that word," said Peach disapprovingly.

The man started to laugh and Lais glared at him angrily, grabbing Peach's hand and marching her from the room. She gave Peach a glass of water with a hand that shook. "Promise," she said, "that you'll never tell anyone. Anyone at all. Especially Maman and Gerard." Peach promised, though she did wonder why it should be such a secret.

The very next day they travelled down to St Jean Cap Ferrat and it was wonderful to see Grand-mère. She looked so much like Maman, and that was comforting because she did miss Maman so. And there was Jim who made her laugh and played games of hide-and-seek with her and helped her with her swimming and took her fishing. And Leonore, her other sister, who looked like Lais but was different. Of course she loved Leonore too - but not quite like Lais.

After a while Peach began to notice strange things. People would break off their conversations when she came into the room, they'd put on that special sort of bright face that grown-ups use when they want to "amuse the children", but their eyes weren't smiling the way they used to. And when they thought she wasn't around their faces were long and serious. "War," they said, "it's war after all." Peach stared at the disbelief mirrored in their faces, sensing the fear that lay behind the unknown word.

Suddenly there was a flurry of activity, their bags were packed hurriedly and they were to leave that very day. Jim had managed to get them berths on a ship. "One of the last," Peach heard him telling Lais, "there's no time left. You must leave now."

Peach rubbed her aching head tiredly. "Please can't I stay?" she begged, clinging to Jim's hand. "Don't you and Grand-mère want me any more?"

Jim swung her up in his arms. "We want you," he smiled, "but so do your maman and papa. We'll see you again soon, little Peach - and anyway, I'm driving you to Marseilles so it's not quite goodbye yet."

On the journey Peach slept at first, but they seemed to be stopping and starting all the time and the car was stuffy. She peered out of the windows and noticed that everyone else seemed to be driving the same way - west towards Spain. "Please," she begged, "can't we go back? My eyes hurt and my head."

"Stretch out on the seat and try to sleep, darling," commanded Lais, sitting in the front with Jim, "this looks like being a long drive."

"But Lais, my head really hurts." Peach leaned forward, threading her arms around her sister's neck and resting her aching head against Lais's cool cheek.

Lais took Peach's hand in hers. "Jim," she said in a small voice, "I think we're in trouble." Jim tore his anxious gaze from the road and their glances met. "She's burning with fever," Lais said quietly.

Lais held her in her arms all the way back to the villa. Leonie hurried to greet them, surprised and dismayed by their return. She swept Peach off and plunged her into a bath of cool water, gradually adding ice until the coolness penetrated Peach's very bones. Then the doctor arrived and examined her gravely. Lais laughed when he said it was measles - a severe case. "I always thought measles were simple," she said. "Trust Peach to exaggerate them."

"We'll get the next boat," Jim said wearily.

Peach grew worse. Her head felt as though it would burst and her legs hurt. Then her chest began to feel as though it were crushing her. "Papa," she cried, twisting her head from side to side to try to rid herself of the pain, searching in vain for a cool spot on the pillows that were soon soaked with her sweat. "Papa."

"It's not measles, its poliomyelitis," said Doctor Marnaux at the hospital in Nice, "a rare disease that affects mainly children and young people. She will be put on a respirator to help her breathe, but Madame and Monsieur," his large brown eyes faced them sadly, "I'm afraid I cannot offer much hope."

Lais hurled herself at the doctor. "What do you mean?" she cried. "Are you saying my sister is going to die?" Gripping the lapels of his starched white coat fiercely, she looked ready to kill him.

"Mademoiselle, Mademoiselle - please," he tried futilely to remove her. "I cannot say. It is a disease of which we have little knowledge. We can only hope."

Lais's hands dropped limply to her sides and the doctor smoothed his ruffled coat nervously. "I will do my best for her, of course. We all will."

"Doctor Marnaux," said Leonie in a high clear voice. "My granddaughter will not die. You understand, Monsieur. She will not die."

Doctor Marnaux eyed the frantic young woman and the quietly desperate older one nervously. "Of course not, Madame," he replied soothingly, "of course not."

"I will stay with her," said Leonie, walking to the severe white door behind which her granddaughter lay.

The doctor glanced at Jim and shrugged helplessly. "As she wishes, Monsieur," he murmured. "We have done all we can."

All transatlantic telephone lines were occupied and calls were already being censored or curtailed. It took Jim two days and considerable influence to reach Gerard in Miami.

"I'm leaving right away," said Gerard, his voice tense across the crackle and woosh of the line.

"Things are already difficult here," warned Jim. "Remember, once you are here as a French citizen you may find it impossible to leave."

"Even if Peach were not so ill," replied Gerard, "I would return to do what I can for my country."

Gerard had only ever taken a nominal interest in the de Courmont business empire built by his father, preferring to leave the running of Monsieur's vast automobile plants and their peripheral companies, the monumental iron and steel works, the rolling mills and the factories at Valenciennes that had produced guns and weapons for other wars, to the capable management of governing boards. And even the fact that the empire was now in jeopardy with the country at war, came a far second in his priorities to the fact that his beloved little Peach was desperately ill.

Title: The Raven on the Water Author: Andrew Taylor Publication: Harper Collins, London, 1986. J Lucasta K John L Mr Coleby M author of letter O the doctor Z Hubert Molland

She knew what she wanted to do was wrong.

Not really wrong. Not a sin. Not the sort of thing she would have to confess to Father Molland at St Clement's on Wednesday afternoon. After Mr Coleby's visit, she needed the relief it would give her.

John had asked her not to go up to the loft. But he hadn't forbidden her.

"Please, Lucasta," he'd said. "Just for me."

"I'm not an invalid."

"Yes, I know, dearest. But it's a heavy ladder, and you'd have to lug it all the way upstairs."

"I'd be very careful."

"You might slip off the stepladder. Lifting the hatch is rather tricky even for me." He ran his finger down the nape of her neck. "And then you'd have to haul yourself into the loft. Once you get there, it's a minefield. It hasn't even got a proper floor. You could trap a foot between the joists or something."

"But it's such a mess," she said. "I'd like to sort things out before baby arrives."

He knelt down beside her chair. His face was only inches away from hers. His concern warmed her. "The nesting instinct?" he said. "But seriously - if you had an accident when I was at school, you might lie there for hours. It's not as if people are popping in and out of the house all day."

No, this was their home; they didn't want strangers to disturb them at/29 Champney Road. That was the way it would always be. For ever and ever. Amen.

All right, dear John didn't like her going up to the loft, especially when he was out of the house. She would never disobey him; she had promised. But he hadn't actually made it an order. In any case, when they had talked about it, the circumstances had been different. At the time she had had Peter in her tummy and a fall could have had serious consequences for both herself and the unborn baby.

John was very late this evening. It had been dark for hours. In termtime he worked all the hours God gave. The school didn't appreciate his dedication. She wished he would come home. She wished he had been here when that unpleasant Mr Coleby had called. Dealing with people like Mr Coleby was a man's job. John would have known exactly what to say to him.

Mr Coleby was clever. He always came when John was at school. She had been expecting Hubert Molland with the parish magazine, which was why she had answered the door.

Mr Coleby was standing right on the step. His big brown car was parked beneath the streetlamp on the road. As she opened the door, he leaned forwards. She stepped back. Too late, she realized her mistake. He was in the house. Flecks of rain sparkled on the shoulders of his navy-blue overcoat.

Mr Coleby had a loud Fen voice with broad vowels that grated on her ears. She was afraid that he would wake Peter if she talked to him in the hall. She retreated to the sitting room. He followed. He was a big man with a square red face. The room was small and so was she; Mr Coleby was out of scale. He took up too much space, like a baby cuckoo in someone else's nest.

"Well, Mrs Redburn," he said. "I wondered if you'd reconsidered your position."

She shook her head. She sat down to conceal the fact that she was trembling.

Mr Coleby sighed. "It would be nice to get something settled by Christmas."

Lucasta stared at the pile of library books on the table. "There's nothing to settle."

"Now, be reasonable."

"Your reasons," she said. "Not mine."

"You won't get a better offer."

"Sorry. Not interested."

He moved to the bay window, parted the curtains and looked out on Champney Road.

"It's a funny area, isn't it ?" he said. "I reckon you'd be happier somewhere like Locksley Gardens or Ivanhoe Drive."

"I'm quite happy here, thank you," Lucasta said.

However, she understood what he meant. Hubert Molland had said as much the other day. Champney Road was on the east side of Plumford. Here were the factories, the council estates and - just a few yards beyond the Redburns' back garden - the railway. Most of John's colleagues lived to the west of the town centre in a suburb where the professional classes clustered in a grid of tree-lined streets with names taken from the works of Sir Walter Scott.

"Not much of a house, either. Don't you find it dark? A bit depressing? Needs a lot of work done to it. Anyone can see that."

She shrugged. Money was tight, especially since Peter's arrival. She didn't think the house was dark. True, it faced north, but you got used to that. Number 29 was their home.

"You're quite isolated, too. Not even a telephone." Mr Coleby peered into the darkness on either side of the streetlamp. "Big hedge in front - needs a trim, that does. A blank wall the height of a house on your right. Can't say I'd like to live next to a bakery. And on the other side you've got all those trees on the strip of wasteland. My wasteland now. You must find it quite worrying." He turned, slowly, and stared at her. "Seeing as you're on your own for so much of the time."

The little room filled with menace. It hung like a haze and obscured the outlines of the furniture. Mr Coleby was a huge shadow. His face dissolved. Only his eyes were as crisply defined as before: cold, clear and blue.

If only John were here. Lucasta touched her breast. It was full of milk. The knowledge steadied her. Peter was still feeding from her, and would continue to do so for months. She had to be strong.

The haze cleared.

"I'm afraid you're wasting your time, Mr Coleby."

"Am I?" He raised his eyebrows. "Why don't you have another little think about it? It's a big decision - I know that. You've got to look at all the angles."

"The decision's already -" "Like, for example, what happens if you have an accident when you're alone in the house? Or if there's a fire in the night? Or if some of the local yobbos come round in search of beer money or a bit of fun?"

Deliver me from evil, she thought. For Thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory.

"You're threatening me."

"Me?" He chuckled. "That's a good one. Just trying to help, Mrs Redburn, that's all. You know me. Anyway, I mustn't keep you. Don't bother - I can find my own way out. I'll be in touch."

Mr Coleby's footsteps echoed in the uncarpeted hall. She hoped that they wouldn't wake Peter. She heard him open and close the front door. The latch on the front gate clicked. She went to the window. A moment later the big brown car pulled away from the kerb.

Lucasta went into the hall. She was tempted to bolt the door. But if she did that John wouldn't be able to let himself in with his key. She never used the bolts when John was out. Hurry home, John.

She listened at the bottom of the stairs. All was quiet, which was a blessing. Peter had only just begun to go through the night without demanding a feed. Unbroken nights were such a luxury. In the evenings she and John had time to be together.

Gradually the trembling stopped. She tiptoed upstairs and listened outside the door of Peter's room. She didn't dare go in: he was such a light sleeper, and he seemed to know by instinct when his mother was in the same room. She glanced upwards, at the hatch that led to the loft. The temptation was so strong it made her feel breathless.

John wouldn't mind if she went into the loft. He would understand. She would tell him about Mr Coleby's visit and her going to the loft as soon as he came in.

She crept downstairs, through the kitchen and out into the little back garden. It was much darker on this side of the house. Behind the garden were several acres of rough pasture, which Mr Coleby had bought at the same time as he bought the strip of wasteland that linked the pasture to Champney Road. The railway ran in a cutting along the far boundary of the fields. You couldn't see the trains but you could hear them.

The stepladder was strapped to the outside wall beneath the kitchen window. John had built a little shelter for it; he was so clever with his hands. She undid the straps and carried the ladder into the house. Mindful of what John had said, she stopped to rest - once in the hall, twice on the stairs and once on the landing.

She set up the ladder beneath the hatch. Practice had made perfect: she hardly made a sound. Peter slept on.

Rung by rung, she crept up the ladder. Two-thirds of the way up, she paused to get her breath back before lifting the heavy hatch and sliding it away from the opening. A shower of gritty dust pattered on her face. Try as she might, it was impossible to keep the loft as clean as she would have liked. She climbed higher and at last managed the difficult transition from the top of the ladder to the edge of the hatch frame. She glanced down at the landing and the dizziness swept up to meet her.

"Serves you right, my girl," she whispered. "You know you've got no head for heights."

Lucasta reached through the darkness for the light switch. The loft sprang to life. She sighed with relief. The loft ran the length of the house from front to back, and it was lit by two unshaded forty-watt bulbs. Down the centre was a narrow gangway; she had placed boards across the joists to make movement easier. On either side of the gangway were neat piles of trunks, cases, cardboard boxes and tea chests - even a bed, propped on its side and wrapped in polythene. Everything was as she had left it. Everything was in apple-pie order.

For a moment she stood listening. Peter was still asleep. She walked slowly down the gangway, her eyes lingering on the treasures she passed. She paused twice. First she lifted the lid of a trunk plastered with the labels of railway companies. The smell of mothballs rose to greet her. She stroked the lapel of one of John's old suits, a Prince of Wales check that he had bought before they even met. She shut the trunk and moved on to a large cardboard box. She eased off the lid. Inside, buried in acid-free tissue paper, was her wedding dress. She closed her eyes and let her fingers burrow through the tissue paper until she felt the lace of the collar.

One day, God willing, she and John might have a daughter; one day their daughter would want to get married. Carefully she replaced the tissue paper and the lid of the box.

Her excitement grew steadily higher. On the left, near the end of the gangway, was a blue suitcase resting on top of a tea chest. John kept the photographs here. Before their marriage he had made quite a hobby of photography. Some photographs were in albums, others in envelopes and folders, and everything was neatly labelled. John was a scientist by training and inclination; he had a passion for order. It was one of the many characteristics they shared.

She stared at the contents. Spoiled for choice, she thought, like a kid in a sweetshop. She glanced at the framed print of John at the Salpertons' wedding, which was lying on top. John had been best man; he looked so beautiful in morning dress, far more handsome than the groom.

Tonight, because of Mr Coleby's visit and because John was so late, she deserved a treat. She would compare the snaps they'd taken of Peter on the lawn in the summer with the photographs of John as a baby. She delighted in finding resemblances between father and son.

"My two men," she crooned.

She lifted out the Salperton photograph. Underneath was a team photograph - a schoolboy cricket eleven with John the second from the right in the back row. As she lifted it out, she realized that the backing was beginning to come away from the heavy cream cardboard of the mount. Perhaps the loft was too damp to store photographs. She would have to mention it to John. She examined the edge of the mount. All it needed was a little glue. She would do it this evening. John would be pleased.

The edge of a sheet of paper between the mount and the backing caught her eye. She widened the gap and tried to see what it was. Not the print itself - that was further inside the mount. She gripped the edge of the paper between thumb and forefinger and gently pulled it out.

It was a letter written in blue ink. The handwriting was small and upright. Lucasta knew instinctively that it belonged to a woman. There was neither date nor address.

Johnny, The doctor agrees, so there's no doubt any longer...

She read to the end. A mistake - it must be a mistake or a forgery.

Pain stabbed at her chest, twisting like a barbed snake. Lucasta screamed. The pain retreated. The snake was biding its time.

She stumbled down the gangway to the hatch. Sobbing for breath, she lowered herself on to the ladder. For once in her life she left the loft with the lights on and the hatch open. The letter slipped from her hand and fluttered to the landing floor.

John, how could you?

Lucasta pushed open the door of Peter's room and went in. She wanted, more than anything she had ever wanted in her life, to pick up her baby and cuddle him: to feel his warmth, to feel his need for her.

"Peter - wake up. It's Mummy." But the cot had gone. In its place was a narrow bed, stripped to its horsehair mattress.

Title: Santorini Author: Alistair MacLean Publication: Collins, London, 1986. E Harrison G McCafferty H Denholm J O'Rourke K Talbot L Van Gelder M Myers O Captain of American destroyer P Captain of Russian sub R Delors radio operator X unknown Z unknown radio operator

An overhead broadcaster on the bridge of the frigate Ariadne crackled into life, a bell rang twice and then O'Rourke's voice came through, calm, modulated, precise and unmistakably Irish. O'Rourke was commonly referred to as the weatherman, which he wasn't at all.

"Just picked up an odd-looking customer. Forty miles out, bearing 222."

Talbot pressed the reply button. "The skies above us, Chief, are hotching with odd-looking customers. At least six airlines criss-cross this patch of the Aegean. NATO planes, as you know better than all of us, are all around us. And those pesky fighter-bombers and fighters from the pesky Sixth Fleet bloweth where the wind listeth. Me, I think they're lost half the time."

"Ah! But this is a very odd odd-looking lad." O'Rourke's voice was unruffled as ever, unmoved by the less than flattering reference to the Sixth Fleet, from which he was on temporary loan. "No trans-Aegean airline uses the flight path this plane is on. There are no NATO planes in this particular sector on my display screen. And the Americans would have let us know. A very courteous lot, Captain. The Sixth Fleet, I mean."

"True, true." The Sixth Fleet, Talbot was aware, would have informed him of the presence of any of their aircraft in his vicinity, not from courtesy but because regulations demanded it, a fact of which O'Rourke was as well aware as he was. O'Rourke was a doughty defender of his home fleet. "That all you have on this lad?"

"No. Two things. This plane is on a due south-west to north-east course. I have no record, no information of any plane that could be following this course. Secondly, I'm pretty sure it's a big plane. We should see in about four minutes - his course is on a direct intersection with ours."

"The size is important, Chief? Lots of big planes around."

"Not at 43,000 feet, sir, which is what this one is. Only a Concorde does that and we know there are no Concordes about. Military job, I would guess."

"Of unknown origin. A bandit? Could be. Keep an eye on him." Talbot looked around and caught the eye of his second-in-command, Lieutenant-Commander Van Gelder. Van Gelder was short, very broad, deeply tanned, flaxen-haired and seemed to find life a source of constant amusement. He was smiling now as he approached the captain.

"Consider it done, sir. The spy-glass and a photo for your family album?"

"That's it. Thank you." The Ariadne carried an immense and, to the uninitiated, quite bewildering variety of looking and listening instruments that may well have been unmatched by any naval ship afloat. Among those instruments were what Van Gelder had referred to as the spy-glass. This was a combined telescope and camera, invented and built by the French, of the type used by spy satellites in orbit and which was capable, under ideal atmospheric circumstances, of locating and photographing a white plate from an altitude of 250 miles. The focal length of the telescope was almost infinitely adjustable: in this case Van Gelder would probably use a one in a hundred resolution, which would have the optical effect of bringing the intruder - if intruder it was - to an apparent altitude of four hundred feet. In the cloudless July skies of the Cyclades this presented no problem at all. Van Gelder had just left the bridge when another loudspeaker came to life, the repeated double buzzer identifying it as the radio-room. The helmsman, Leading Seaman Harrison, leaned forward and made the appropriate switch.

"I have an SOS. I think - repeat think - vessel's position is just south of Thera. All I have. Very garbled, certainly not a trained operator. Just keeps repeating "Mayday, Mayday, Mayday". Myers, the radio operator on duty, sounded annoyed: every radio operator, the tone of his voice said, should be as expert and efficient as he was. "Wait a minute, though. " There was a pause, then Myers came on again. "Sinking, he says. Four times he said he was sinking."

Talbot said: "That all?"

"That's all, sir. He's gone off the air."

"Well, just keep listening on the distress frequency, Harrison, 090 or near enough. Can't be more than ten, twelve miles away." He reached for the engine control and turned it up to full power.The Ariadne, in the modern fashion, had dual engine-room and bridge controls. The engine-room had customarily only one rating, a leading stoker, on watch, and this only because custom dictated it, not because necessity demanded it. The lone watchman might, just possibly, be wandering around with an oil-can in hand but more probably was immersed in one of the lurid magazines with which what was called the engine-room library was so liberally stocked. The Ariadne's chief engineer, Lieutenant McCafferty, rarely ventured near his own domain. A first-class engineer, McCafferty claimed he was allergic to diesel fumes and treated with a knowing disdain the frequently repeated observation that, because of the engine-room's highly efficient extractor fans, it was virtually impossible for anyone to detect the smell of diesel. He was to be found that afternoon, as he was most afternoons, seated in a deckchair aft and immersed in his favourite form of relaxation, the reading of detective novels heavily laced with romance of the more dubious kind.

The distant sound of the diesels deepened - the Ariadne was capable of a very respectable 35 knots - and the bridge began to vibrate quite noticeably. Talbot reached for a phone and got through to Van Gelder.

"We've picked up a distress signal. Ten, twelve miles away. Let me know when you locate this bandit and I'll cut the engines." The spy-glass, though splendidly gimballed to deal with the worst vagaries of pitching and rolling, was quite incapable of coping with even the mildest vibration which, more often than not, produced a very fuzzy photograph indeed.

Talbot moved out on to the port wing to join the lieutenant who stood there, a tall, thin young man with fair hair, thick pebbled glasses and a permanently lugubrious expression.

"Well, Jimmy, how do you fancy this? A maybe bandit and a sinking vessel at the same time. Should relieve the tedium of a long hot summer's afternoon, don't you think?"

The lieutenant looked at him without enthusiasm. Lieutenant the Lord James Denholm - Talbot called him "Jimmy" for brevity's sake - seldom waxed enthusiastic about anything.

"I don't fancy it at all, Captain." Denholm waved a languid hand. "Disturbs the even tenor of my ways."

Talbot smiled. Denholm was surrounded by an almost palpable aura of aristocratic exhaustion that had disturbed and irritated Talbot in the early stage of their acquaintanceship, a feeling that had lasted for no more than half an hour. Denholm was totally unfitted to be a naval officer of any kind and his highly defective eyesight should have led to his automatic disbarment from any navy in the world. But Denholm was aboard the Ariadne not because of his many connections with the highest echelons of society - heir to an earldom, his blood was indisputably the bluest of the blue - but because, without question, he was the right man in the right place. The holder of three scientific degrees - from Oxford, UCLA and MIT, all summa cum laude - in electrical engineering and electronics, Denholm was as close to being an electronics wizard as any man could ever hope to be. Not that Denholm would have claimed to be anything of what he would have said to be the ridiculous kind. Despite his lineage and academic qualifications, Denholm was modest and retiring to a fault. This reticence extended even to the making of protests which was why, despite his feeble objections - he had been under no compulsion to go - he had been dragooned into the Navy in the first place. He said to Talbot: "This bandit, Captain - if it is a bandit - what do you intend to do about it?"

"I don't intend to do anything about it."

"But if he is a bandit - well, then, he's spying, isn't he?"

"Of course."

"Well, then -"

"What do you expect me to do, Jimmy? Bring him down? Or are you itching to try out this experimental laser gun you have with you?"

"Heaven forfend." Denholm was genuinely horrified. "I've never fired a gun in anger in my life. Correction. I've never even fired a gun."

"If I wanted to bring him down a teeny-weeny heat-seeking missile would do the job very effectively. But we don't do things like that. We're civilized. Besides, we don't provoke international incidents. An unwritten law."

"Sounds a very funny law to me."

"Not at all. When the United States or NATO play war games, as we are doing now, the Soviets track us very closely indeed, whether on land, sea or air. We don't complain. We can't. When they're playing their game we do exactly the same to them. Can, admittedly, have its awkward moments. Not so long ago, when the US Navy were carrying out exercises in the Sea of Japan an American destroyer banged into, and quite severely damaged, a Russian submarine which was monitoring things a little too closely."

"And that didn't cause what you've just called an international incident?"

"Certainly not. Nobody's fault. Mutual apologies between the two captains and the Russian was towed to a safe port by another Russian warship. Vladivostok, I believe it was." Talbot turned his head. "Excuse me. That's the radio-room call-up."

"Myers again, " the speaker said. "Delos Name of the sinking vessel. Very brief message - explosion, on fire, sinking fast."

"Keep listening," Talbot said. He looked at the helmsman who already had a pair of binoculars to his eyes. "You have it, Harrison?"

"Yes, sir." Harrison handed over the binoculars and twitched the wheel to port. "Fire off the port bow."

Talbot picked it up immediately, a thin black column of smoke rising vertically, unwaveringly, into the blue and windless sky. He was just lowering his glasses when the bell rang twice again. It was O'Rourke, the weatherman, or, more officially, the senior long-range radar operator.

"Lost him, I'm afraid. The bandit, I mean. I was looking at the vectors on either side of him to see if he had any friends and when I came back he was gone."

"Any ideas, Chief?"

"Well... "O'Rourke sounded doubtful. "He could have exploded but I doubt it."

"So do I. We've had the spy-glass trained on his approach bearing and they'd have picked up an explosion for sure."

"Then he must have gone into a steep dive. A very steep dive. God knows why. I'll find him." The speaker clicked off. Almost at once a telephone rang again. It was Van Gelder.

"222, sir. Smoke. Plane. Could be the bandit."

"Almost certainly is. The weatherman's just lost it off the long-range radar screen. Probably a waste of time but try to get that photograph anyway."

He moved out on to the starboard wing and trained his glasses over the starboard quarter. He picked it up immediately, a heavy dark plume of smoke with, he thought, a glow of red at its centre. It was still quite high, at an altitude of four or five thousand feet. He didn't pause to check how deeply the plane was diving or whether or not it actually was on fire. He moved quickly back into the bridge and picked up a phone.

"Sub-Lieutenant Cousteau. Quickly." A brief pause. "Henri? Captain. Emergency. Have the launch and the lifeboat slung outboard. Crews to stand by to lower. Then report to the bridge. " He rang down to the engine-room for Slow Ahead then said to Harrison: "Hard a-port. Steer north."

Denholm, who had moved out on to the starboard wing, returned, lowering his binoculars. "Well, even I can see that plane. Not a plane, rather a huge streamer of smoke. Could that have been the bandit, sir - if it was a bandit?"

"Must have been."

Denholm said, tentatively: "I don't care much for his line of approach, sir."

"I don't care much for it myself, Lieutenant, especially if it's a military plane and even more especially if it's carrying bombs of any sort. If you look, you'll see that we're getting out of its way."

"Ah. Evasive action. " Denholm hesitated, then said doubtfully: "Well, as long as he doesn't alter course."

"Dead men don't alter courses."

"That they don't." Van Gelder had just returned to the bridge. "And the man or the men behind the controls of that plane

are surely dead. No point in my staying there, sir - Gibson's better with the spy-glass camera than I am and he's very busy with it. We'll have plenty of photographs to show you but I doubt whether we'll be able to learn very much from them."

"As bad as that? You weren't able to establish anything?"

"Very little, I'm afraid. I did see the outer engine on the port wing. So it's a four-engined jet. Civil or military, I've no idea."

"A moment, please." Talbot moved out on the port wing, looked aft, saw that the blazing plane - there was no mistaking the flames now - was due astern, at less than half the height and distance than when he had first seen it, returned to the bridge, told Harrison to steer due north, then turned again to Van Gelder. "That was all you could establish?"

"About. Except that the fire is definitely located in the nose cone, which would rule out any engine explosion. It couldn't have been hit by a missile because we know there are no missile-carrying planes around - even if there were, a heat-seeking missile, the only type that could nail it at that altitude, would have gone for the engines, not the nose cone. It could only have been an up-front internal explosion."

Talbot nodded, reached for a phone, asked the exchange for the sick bay and was through immediately. "Doctor? Would you detail an SBA - with first-aid kit - to stand by the lifeboat." He paused for a moment. "Sorry, no time to explain. Come on up to the bridge." He looked aft through the starboard wing doorway, turned and took the wheel from the helmsman. "Take a look, Harrison. A good look."

Harrison moved out on the starboard wing, had his good look - it took him only a few seconds - returned and took the wheel again. "Awful." He shook his head. "They're finished, sir, aren't they?"

"So I would have thought."

"They're going to miss us by at least a quarter mile. Maybe a half. " Harrison took another quick look through the doorway.

Title: A Woman of Style Author: Colin McDowell Publication: Random Century Group, London, 1991. J Constance K Louise L Nora M Doctor William Simpson

"Are bitches born or bred?" Constance asked on the night of her mother's funeral.

She and her Aunt Louise were sitting in her mother's living room, drinking sherry and feeling close, as old friends and allies do. Listening to the autumn wind moaning across this corner of the sparse Northumberland coastline a few miles south of Berwick-upon-Tweed, where Nora Simpson had lived for all of her married life, their memories of her were vivid. Constance wasn't thinking only of her mother. She was looking back over her own life. Bathed in the bright sun of Italy and glittering with social and commercial success, it seemed to her that it had always been menaced by dark shadows many of which, Constance sometimes thought, had sprung up almost to punish her for leaving this remote area so early in her adult life. They were shadows that she could never have imagined when, as a young girl, she had run along the cold sands of Northumberland and watched the east wind flatten and fold the dunes as she dreamed of a bigger, more exciting world beyond - and away from her mother's influence.

She was brought back to the moment by Louise. "Oh, darling, I think that's a little harsh." Her aunt frowned slightly. "Nora was very strong-willed, I know, but I don't think she was a bitch. She had a lot to contend with."

"No, don't misunderstand me," Constance went on. "I was thinking more of myself than her. I know I'm a bitch and I do think Nora had a lot to do with it but I've often thought that it was - you know - "in the genes."'

"Well" Louise laughed, "you certainly couldn't be mistaken for anything other than Nora Simpson's daughter, there's no doubt about that, but to be fair, my sweet, you've both had a lot to contend with. You've not had it easy, but bitch is far too unkind. You've had to be strong to survive - just as poor Nora had to be when your father died, and she was left on her own."

Constance looked at her aunt - was she blaming her for Nora's lonely last years?

Louise Carter was a woman in her early eighties. White-haired and with make-up applied in the haphazard way that suggests no great interest in the face rather than a weakening of the critical faculties, Louise was still very much in charge of herself - her appearance, thought and manner. Constance looked at her fondly. Louise, who had been her comfort, buffer and rescuer so many times in the past; Louise, who had in so many ways been more of a mother to her than Nora; Louise, who even now had lost none of her vigour and strength of personality. You'd think that she was still in her sixties, Constance thought approvingly, as Louise took out a cigarette and, crossing her legs decisively, made herself comfortable on the sofa.

"You were closer to her than anyone," Constance continued. "Even before I went to Italy and married Ludo I never really knew her. Actually, she influenced every decision I ever made but I always felt she put a barrier between us. But I honestly don't know if it was deliberate, or just our chemistry. I've never understood it - probably because I've never really understood her."

Constance slipped off her shoes and curled her feet under her. She was sitting on the opposite side of the grate and Louise Carter thought fleetingly how proud Nora had always been of her daughter even when they had been dramatically at loggerheads and how pleased she would be if she could see her now, in her elegant black dress and silver jewellery. Yes, my dear, she mused affectionately, Signora Villanuova you may well now be - and head of a fashion empire - but every attitude you've ever had came from Nora. She made you strong - and she was no more a bitch than you are.

Sensing that her aunt needed to talk, Constance poured more sherry.

"I understood her perfectly," Louise said as she searched in her bag for her lighter. "We were very close, you know. Much more than just cousins. I remember when she came from India after your grandmother died. She looked so strange. Tall, dark and gawky. She was very strong-willed. Couldn't be told anything. My father used to get so angry at her stubbornness - not at all like me, used to doing what I was told."

There was a pause as she lit her cigarette.

"I got a shock yesterday when I went to the mortuary," Constance said. "I didn't realise that she'd let her hair grow out. She was quite white. I couldn't believe my eyes. And the nails on her right hand were filthy. I had to clean them."

"Darling, how ghastly for you," Louise commiserated, remembering how punctilious over her appearance her cousin Nora had always been. Her sophisticated turnout and stylish overdressing had made her a minor legend in this remote northern district.

"It was horrible," Constance said. "I had to lift her hand. It was so hard and stiff that I was frightened I would break the wrist. I don't know how I managed it. I had to bend over, parallel to the body, to get the nail file under the nails. I was frightened in case anyone came in. It would have looked so odd. But I had to do it. She was always so obsessed with her appearance, I couldn't let her go to her grave in that state. Her hand was so cold." She shuddered at the recollection and continued. "Then I combed her hair back. How wispy and thin it was."

Louise was silent, then said, "Poor Nora. That's why I was the only one she would allow to see her in hospital. You know how particular she was about dyeing her hair. She wouldn't allow anyone else to do it and, of course, with her broken arm after the fall, she couldn't. She kept saying "Oh, the nurses don't matter and the doctors are afraid of me - I'll do it before I come out." Actually I preferred her with white hair."

"Oh, I agree. After all, she was seventy-five. It was about time. But it was still a shock to see her like that, looking so old and spent."

Constance hadn't seen her mother since her last visit to England over a year ago. She had been so busy with her dress house in Rome, coping with her designer, planning for the future and ensuring that everyone in the business was kept happy - each of which seemed a full-time job in itself - that she had hardly had time to spare for her three children, let alone her mother. Thinking now of the battles she had fought with her own children, especially her daughter, Margharita, she felt a pang of remorse over the woman she had buried a few hours earlier. Constance had also fought her mother all the way when she was young and her personality was still forming, and then had somehow abandoned her in later life, when the need to fight had gone. She felt guilty, but she could say with a clear conscience that her business was so demanding that she hardly had time to think of Northumberland although, in truth, as her successes and problems in Italy had increased, there seemed less and less reason to return to Nora. Her trips to see her mother had of necessity been brief. After two days even the smallest decision could become an exhausting battle of wills. The less they saw of each other, Constance had reluctantly accepted over the years, the better friends she and her mother were.

"She wasn't an easy character to love, you know," she went on. "Nora was admirable in many ways but no one could call her lovable."

Louise frowned impatiently as Constance said, "I suppose she lacked the maternal instinct. Rather like me, really." She paused. "In fact, " she murmured, "she wasn't easy at all - any more than I am."

"You never really knew her," Louise replied.

"You're right,"' Constance agreed. "It's terribly sad but I don't think I ever really loved her, either. She wouldn't let me somehow. I needed to when I was a teenager. I had to face all my problems alone. She'd let me get half-way close and then she would push me away. I always felt that she cut me off just as we were becoming closer - and always when I most needed her."

Louise smiled. "That's exactly what she used to say about you. She always felt that Miss Hatherby meant more to you than she did."

"Miss Hatherby certainly influenced me, but not as a mother would. She was all intellect. I needed emotional support. No, Louise, no matter what you say, Nora kept me at arm's length."

As Constance poured another glass of sherry for her aunt, Louise continued in a softer voice. "I was the only one who really knew Nora - I could always tell what she was thinking. When she was first married, I was the only person she could turn to. Your father was such a disappointment to her, in so many ways. He had no imagination. Poor Will, he was the archetypal country doctor. So dull. Dull as his name. He never had an original idea in his life. You can't blame him - that's why he was a country doctor. They're meant to be dull. It isn't in the nature of doctors to be original or witty or anything. They have to be reliable, reliably boring. He was certainly that. Why they ever married I shall never know. I suppose she saw him as an escape."

Louise lit another cigarette. "Nora hated work. She had no money when she came from India, except for a little in bonds, or something, but not enough to live on. My father had managed to get her a job in a friend's office just off Hatton Garden. Not much money but things were different in the twenties. We didn't seem to need so much in those days. Of course, Nora felt being a typist was below her, and she couldn't bear the people she worked with. She was determined to get married and get out. In those days married women didn't work, so for her it was the ideal solution. She wouldn't have to be dependent on my father any more and she would be free to live her own life. Work bored her - it was too predictable. Your mother had an amazing imagination - that's where yours comes from - she could have done so much better with her life .

"Anyhow, the problem was that we hardly ever saw any young men, so how on earth could she start courting? Of course, being the determined woman she was, Nora decided to take the bull by the horns and organise things for herself. We used to sit in the garden for hours going over her various plans to get married. She had a new one virtually every day. I just listened, there was absolutely no possibility of influencing her. I remember thinking how typical it was of her that she never thought of being wooed. She was like a huntress - in pursuit, in charge."

"She always was," Constance murmured to herself.

"She got the idea from a magazine story, of all things," Louise continued, warming to the tale. "She decided to go to a hotel - a grand one - and meet a man. You can't imagine how bold that was in those days. She decided against seaside hotels like the Metropole at Folkestone or the Imperial at Torquay. She was shrewd and quite calculating even then. She felt there would be too many families at the seaside and not enough single men. She wanted a masculine sort of hotel.

"So she chose Gleneagles, in Scotland, which was very new then, but already famous for golf. Nora calculated that there must be lots of single men up there so she decided it was ideal for the "manhunt", as we called it, even though the train fare was a serious consideration. I remember we went up to Euston together one Saturday morning, very excited, to buy the ticket in advance. It was a secret - if my parents had known she was going away alone they would have soon put the kybosh on it. No, she was supposed to be going to stay with a girlfriend from the India days who lived in Perthshire. Your mother was always good with money - that's who you get it from. Will hadn't a clue - he couldn't have cared less! She worked the whole trip out, to the last farthing. I remember it vividly. A room without a bath was forty shillings a night. Gleneagles was ridiculously expensive in those days - still is, probably. I remember Nora's first postcard - which she sent in an envelope secretly to my office. She was so indignant. Breakfast cost five shillings and dinner, I think, about nine, but she knew that before she went. What infuriated her was that they charged three shillings for afternoon tea, so she decided to forgo it because she knew the men would still be out on the links."

Louise chuckled at the recollection. "We had a terrible check at Euston. We had to decide on travelling third or first class. I'd have just gone third but Nora looked ahead. She was worried about coming back. Going up to Scotland no one would know her so she could travel third but coming back, if the young man travelled with her - it never even entered her head that she wouldn't meet one - it could be embarrassing. It took us two turns through the arch before she decided. First-class return it would be. I remember her saying, slightly on the defensive, "It's an investment," and I thought, It's made her even more determined to succeed. Money always did that with your mother.

"Your father had only qualified from Edinburgh a couple of years before. He was the assistant doctor for the hotel - although a lot of guests brought their own in those days. Well, you've heard the story of how your mother got soaked on the third tee in a downpour. Of course, she wouldn't abandon the round. You know why? It was Saturday so they had put up the green fee from four and sixpence to seven and six and she couldn't bear to waste the money. She'd rather have caught pneumonia and died. As it was, she went down so badly with flu that she had to be confined to her room for the duration. She was furious. No wonder she was running a temperature! I'm sure most of it was caused by temper. That's when your father came in." Louise chuckled. "I remember her card: "I am being very attentively cared for by the hotel doctor, William Simpson." When he proposed to her on the last night I think she took him because, having been in her room for seven days, she'd met nobody else and couldn't bear to see her investment wasted."

Title: Hamilton Author: Catherine Cookson Publication: Book Club Associates, 1984. C Howard G Katie J Gran K Maisie (first person narrator) L Katie's father M Father Mackin O Katie's mother X unknown

'Aw, lass. What have y'been and gone and done? Promised to marry that fellow!' The look on her face made me squirm and I turned my head away and walked to the fire and held out my hands towards it. And then she said, not intending to cause me any pain but nevertheless doing so, 'Lass, if he's proposed to you he's after something and it isn't far to look. It's your house and all the fine bits that's in it and your nest-egg. I'm sorry to say this but he's the type that man and his sister an' all, who don't do things without a motive like. Aw, don't be upset lass, I mean it kindly. I ...I think too much of you. You're like me own and I don't want to see you makin' a mistake.'

I turned to her, blinking the tears from my eyes as I said, 'I won't get the chance to make many mistakes, Gran, not me. All right, it might be a mistake but I've got to take it.'

I watched her sit down on the couch with a plop, then bend forward and start picking at it as if she were pulling at the threads, and as she did so she muttered, 'Eeh! I wish our Georgie was here. He'd know what to do. - I sat down beside her and took her hand - 'I'm going to marry Howard. I know you won't be the only one who'll think he had ulterior motives in asking me, but over the past months I've got to know him and I think he'll make a good companion.'

'Oh, to hell with that, lass!' She threw my hands off her. 'Bugger companions! That's not what you want out of marriage at your time of life. That's all right for the old 'uns. Even me, you wouldn't get me at this stage taking anybody just for a companion. Don't you know what it's all about?'

'Yes,' I said, 'I know what it's all about.'

'Well then, all I can say is if you do, you're a bloody fool to go on with it. Companionship!' she snorted, then rose from the couch and went into the kitchen.

I'd said I knew what it was all about. But what did I know all about? Quite candidly I knew nothing about marriage except what I'd read in the romantic books. There had been no whispered conversations in corners with other girls for me; there had been no innuendoes; no hints that I could pick up and dissect. Katie hadn't been like that. And she was married and she would know all about it now. But she must have been unhappy for she had left her husband. If we had still been friends, we might have talked.... I hadn't understood Katie's changed attitude towards me, nor her mother's, not at that time anyway. It was her father who explained it to me. I met him in the street one day when he was very drunk. He had doted on Katie and so he was very bitter about this, and he said to me, 'Life's funny, Maisie. Aye, it's funny. The wife was against you and my lass being pally because she thought it would spoil Katie's chances, you being as you were then. She thought Katie wouldn't be able to meet any suitable fellow if you were along, and who did she meet? That rotter. I never liked him, not from the word go. But here's you now, comfortably settled in your own house. And you've filled out a lot, you've changed. And what is our Katie's life? Two bairns, and separated from her husband. Life's a puzzle, Maisie, life's a puzzle.'

I remember at that time I too thought it was a puzzle and how wrong he had been in thinking I was changed.

But here I was at Gran's, and she was dead set against my marrying Howard. Yet I knew firmly in my own mind that I would go through with it, Katie and her unsuccessful marriage were far removed from my mind.

Perhaps it was she who sent Father Mackin to the house, thinking that if I was set on going through with it then it should be done properly. Anyway, there he was one day when I answered the door bell, cheery and chatty, but both these facets of his character hiding a deep purpose. As he once said to me, there were different ways of driving a cuddy into the Catholic Church. And he might have succeeded if it hadn't been for Howard.

'Now this is a nice house,' Father Mackin said. 'Oh dear me, what a surprise.' And he looked around the hall and through the open door into the kitchen. The ceiling had imitation rafters and the units were all scrubbed oak. My mother had had them specially fitted. Then laying his hat down on the hallstand and rubbing his hands together, he said, ''Tis nippy outside. It is that, very nippy.'

'Would you like a cup of tea, Father?'

'Now whoever said no to a question like that? Yes, I would indeed, I would love a cup of tea. What is your first name again?'

'Maisie.'

'Oh...Maisie. It's a very friendly name that, Maisie. Yes, Maisie, I would love a cup of tea. May I go and sit down?' he said, already walking towards the sitting-room door. This was half open and I pushed it wide and he entered, exclaiming loudly, 'Well, whoever did this had taste: grey walls and a blue carpet and those dull pink curtains. Now who would ever think about those colours combining into such harmony. 'Tis a lovely house. Have you been here long?'

'I was born here, and my mother too. My grandparents came into it when it was first built, but since then there's been a lot of alteration done.'

'Well now' - he sank on to the couch - 'if I lived in a place like this the church would get the go-by, I'd promise you that.'

I went out laughing and hurriedly made a tray of tea. And when I returned to the room he was examining some pieces of china in the cabinet that stood between the windows.

'You don't mind me being nosey, do you?'

'No, Father, not at all.'

'These are nice pieces. I know something about porcelain and I can say these are nice pieces.'

'I understand my grandfather brought them from abroad.'

'Yes, he would do, he would do.'

He sat down on the couch once more, and I poured out the tea and handed him a plate on which there were some scones, and after biting into one he exclaimed loudly on its merits. But I had to tell him that I hadn't baked them, that a friend of mine along the terrace was a very good cook, she had done them.

'Now then, if she can bake scones like this, I bet she's not single.'

'There you're wrong, Father, she is. And she is soon to be my sister-in-law.'

'Oh, yes. Yes--' he put his cup down on the side table, wiped his mouth with a coloured handkerchief then said, 'I heard that you're to be married. And really, to tell the truth, because I must do that sometime, mustn't I?' - he grinned at me - 'that's partly why I've come, to see what arrangements you are going to make for the wedding.'

'Oh, Father.' I made to rise from the couch but his hand stopped me, and he said, 'Now it's all right. It's all right. Don't take off in a balloon, I know that you're not in the church yet, but I've got a strong feeling that you would like to be. I understand you used to come to mass with your stepfather at one time, so as I see it, just a little push and you'd be over the step.'

'I'm sorry, Father, but my fiancé is not that way inclined at all.'

'What do you mean? He's an atheist, he doesn't believe in either God or man?'

'No. Well, I think, if he's anything, he's Church of England.'

'But at present he's nothing?'

'I'm not really sure. We haven't discussed it.'

'Well then, if you haven't discussed it, perhaps he and I can get down to a little natter, eh?'

'No, Father, please. He has already suggested we get married in the registry office.'

'Oh, now, now.' The smile went from his face. 'Registry office.' For a moment I thought he was going to spit. Then someone did spit. Sitting behind him, just to the right, there was Hamilton. I gasped because I hadn't seen him for some long time now. His head was turned and he was looking towards the floor, and then he brought his big lips into a pout and he spat. And then I heard myself say, 'Oh dear me.'

'Now , now, there's no need for you to get worried. But I maintain that a registry office marriage is no marriage, not in the eyes of the Headmaster.'

'The Headmaster?'

Father Mackin now turned his eyes upward until little but the whites of them could be seen, and, his voice lowered, he added, 'Aye, the Headmaster, the Headmaster of men.'

He was referring to God as the Headmaster of men, and I heard myself saying almost skittishly now, 'And what about women, Father?'

'Oh' - he put his head back and laughed - 'that's good, that is, that's good. Well, it's a mixed school. A...ha!' He was leaning towards me now, his head bobbing, and he repeated, 'A mixed school. And there's coloureds in it too, yes coloureds: blacks and browns and yellows and a few Red Indians if I'm not mistaken.'

We were both laughing now and I wasn't looking at him, I was looking towards Hamilton, and he was mimicking me. His big mouth wide open, his lips baring his teeth, he was doing a horse ha!ha!ha! bit. I could see that he didn't dislike the priest but that at the same time he had taken his measure: the iron hand in the velvet glove so to speak with a dusting of laughing gas inside it.

I don't know what made me think of that bit except that up in the attic I had come across a glove tree. It was in its own box with a canister of dusting powder; it must have been used by my grandparents at some stage.

He had three cups of tea and four scones and when he took his leave he put his hand on my shoulder and, his face and voice devoid of all laughter now, he said 'Think seriously on this Maisie. It's a big step and it's for life. Never take marriage lightly. It's for life.'

How often I was to think of those words in the years to come, it's for life.

Title: The Eye of the Tiger Author: Wilbur Smith Publication: Heinemann, London, 1987. B Harry (first person narrator) C Inspector daly E Chubby H Angelo J the manager K Fred Coker L Ma Eddy M Mrs Chubby O the island girls X unknown

I put Chuck on the plane at nine the next morning and I sang the whole way down from the plateau, honking the horn of my battered old Ford pick-up at the island girls working in the pineapple fields. They straightened up with big flashing smiles under the brims of the wide straw hats and waved.

At Coker's Travel Agency I changed Chuck's American Express traveller's cheques, haggling the rate of exchange with Fred Coker. He was in full fig, tailcoat and black tie. He had a funeral at noon. The camera and tripod laid up for the present, photographer became undertaker.

Coker's Funeral Parlour was in the back of the Travel Agency opening into the alley, and Fred used the hearse to pick up tourists at the airport, first discreetly changing his advertising board on the vehicle and putting the seats in over the rail for the coffins.

I booked all my charters through him, and he clouted his ten percent off my traveller's cheques. He had the insurance agency as well, and he deducted the annual premium for Dancer before carefully counting out the balance. I recounted just as carefully, for although Fred looks like a schoolmaster, tall and thin and prim, with just enough island blood to give him a healthy all-over tan, he knows every trick in the book and a few which have not been written down yet.

He waited patiently while I checked, taking no offence, and when I stuffed the roll into my back pocket, his gold pince-nez sparkled and he told me like a loving father, 'Don't forget you have a charter party coming in tomorrow, Mister Harry.'

'That's all right, Mr Coker - don't you worry, my crew will be just fine.'

'They are down at the Lord Nelson already,' he told me delicately. Fred keeps his finger firmly on the island's pulse.

'Mr Coker, I'm running a charter boat, not a temperance society. Don't worry,' I repeated, and stood up. 'Nobody ever died of a hangover.'

I crossed Drake Street to Edward's Store and a hero's welcome. Ma Eddy herself came out from behind the counter and folded me into her warm pneumatic bosom.

'Mister Harry,' she cooed and bussed me, 'I went down to the wharf to see the fish you hung yesterday.' Then she turned still holding me and shouted at one of her counter girls, 'Shirley, you get Mister Harry a nice cold beer now, hear?'

I hauled out my roll. The pretty little island girls chittered like sparrows when they saw it, and Ma Eddy rolled her eyes and hugged me closer.

'What do I owe you, Missus Eddy?' From June to November is a long off-season, when the fish do not run, and Ma Eddy carries me through that lean time.

I propped myself against the counter with a can of beer in my hand, picking the goods I needed from the shelves and watching their legs as the girls in their mini-skirts clambered up the ladders to fetch them down - old Harry feeling pretty good and cocky with that hard lump of green stuff in his back pocket.

Then I went down to the Shell Company basin and the manager met me at the door of his office between the big silver fuel storage tanks.

'God, Harry, I've been waiting for you all morning. Head Office has been screaming at me about your bill.'

'Your waiting is over brother,' I told him. But Wave Dancer, like most beautiful women is an expensive mistress, and when I climbed back into the pick-up, the lump in my pocket was severely depleted.

They were waiting for me in the beer garden of the Lord Nelson. The island is very proud of its associations with the Royal Navy, despite the fact that it is no longer a British possession but revels in an independence of six years' standing; yet for two hundred years previously it had been a station of the British fleet. Old prints by long-dead artists decorated the public bar, depicting the great ships beating up the channel of lying in grand harbour alongside Admiralty Wharf - men-of-war and merchantmen of John Company victualled and refitted here before the long run south to the Cape of Good Hope and the Atlantic.

St Mary's has never forgotten her place in history, nor the admirals and mighty ships that made their landfall here. The Lord Nelson is a parody of its former grandeur, but I enjoy its decayed and seedy elegance and its associations with the past more than the tower of glass and concrete that Hilton has erected on the headland above the harbour.

Chubby and his wife sat side by side on the bench against the far wall, both of them in their Sunday clothes. This was the easiest way to tell them apart, the fact that Chubby wore the three-piece suit which he had bought for his wedding - the buttons straining and gaping, and the deep-sea cap stained with salt crystals and fish blood on his head - while his wife wore a full-length black dress of heavy wool, faded greenish with age, and black button-up boots beneath. Otherwise their dark mahogany faces were almost identical, though Chubby was freshly shaven and she did have a light moustache.

'Hello, Missus Chubby, how are you?' I asked.

'Thank you, Mister Harry.'

'Will you take a little something, then?'

'Perhaps just a little orange gin, Mister Harry, with a small bitter to chase it down.'

While she sipped the sweet liquor, I counted Chubby's wages into her hand, and her lips moved as she counted silently in chorus. Chubby watched anxiously, and I wondered once again how he had managed all these years to fool her on the billfish bonus.

Missus Chubby drained the beer and the froth emphasized her moustache.

'I'll be off then, Mister Harry.' She rose majestically and sailed from the courtyard. I waited until she turned into Frobisher Street before I slipped Chubby the little sheath of notes under the table and we went into the private bar together.

Angelo had a girl on each side of him and one on his lap. His black silk shirt was open to the belt buckle, exposing gleaming chest muscles. His denim pants fitted skin-tight, leaving no doubt as to his gender, and his boots were hand-tooled and polished westerns. He had greased his hair and sleeked it back in the style of the young Presley. He flashed his grin like a stage lamp across the rook and when I paid him he tucked a banknote into the front of each girl's blouse.

'Hey, Eleanor, you go sit on Harry's lap, but careful now. Harry's a virgin - you treat him right, hear?' He roared with delighted laughter and turned to Chubby.

'Hey, Chubby, you quit giggling like that all the time, man! That's stupid - all that giggling and grinning.' Chubby's frown deepened, his whole face crumpling into folds and wrinkles like that of a bulldog. 'Hey, Mister barman, you give old Chubby a drink now. Perhaps that will stop him cutting up stupid, giggling like that.'

At four that afternoon Angelo had driven his girls off, and he sat with his glass on the table top before him. Beside it lay his bait knife honed to a razor edge and glinting evilly in the overhead lights. He muttered darkly to himself, deep in alcoholic melancholy. Every few minutes he would test the edge of the knife with his thumb and scowl around the room. Nobody took any notice of him.

Chubby sat on the other side of me, grinning like a great brown toad - exposing a set of huge startlingly white teeth with pink plastic gums.

'Harry,' he told me expansively, one thick muscled arm around my neck. 'You are a good boy, Harry. You know what, Harry, I'm going to tell you now what I never told you before.' He nodded wisely as he gathered himself for the declaration he made every pay day. 'Harry, I love you, man. I love you better than my own brother.'

I lifted the stained cap and lightly caressed the bald brown dome of his head. 'And you are my favourite eggshell blond,' I told him.

He held me at arm's length for a moment, studying my face, then burst into a lion's roar of laughter. It was completely infectious and we were both still laughing when Fred Coker walked in and sat down at the table. He adjusted his pince-nez and said primly, 'Mister Harry, I have just received a special delivery from London. Your charter cancelled.' I stopped laughing.

'What the hell!' I said. Two weeks without a charter in the middle of high season and only a lousy two-hundred-dollar reservation fee.

'Mr Coker, you have got to get me a party.' I had three hundred dollars left in my pocket from Chuck's Charter.

'You got to get me a party,' I repeated, and Angelo picked up his knife and with a crash drove the point deeply into the table top. Nobody took any notice of him, and he scowled angrily around the room.

'I'll try,' said Fred Coker, 'but it's a bit late now.'

'Cable the parties we had to turn down.'

'Who will pay for the cables?' Fred asked delicately.

'The hell with it, I'll pay.' And he nodded and went out. I heard the hearse start up outside.

'Don't worry, Harry,' said Chubby. 'I still love you man.'

Suddenly beside me Angelo went to sleep. He fell forward and his forehead hit the table top with a resounding crack. I rolled his head so that he would not drown in the puddle of spilled liquor, returned the knife to its sheath, and took charge of his bank roll to protect him from the girls who were hovering close.

Chubby ordered another round and began to sing a rambling, mumbling shanty in island patois, while I sat and worried.

Once again I was stretched out neatly on the financial rack, God How I hate money - or rather the lack of it. Those two weeks would make all the difference as to whether or not Dancer and I could survive the off-season, and still keep our good resolutions. I knew we couldn't. I knew we would have to go on the night run again.

The hell with it, if we had to do it, we might as well do it now. I would pass the word that Harry was ready to do a deal. Having made the decision, I felt again that pleasurable tightening of the nerves, the gut thing that goes with danger. The two weeks of cancelled time might not be wasted after all.

I joined Chubby in song, not entirely certain that we were singing the same number, for I seemed to reach the end of each chorus a long time before Chubby.

It was probably his musical feast that called up the law. On St Mary's this takes the form of an Inspector and four troopers, which is more than adequate for the island. Apart from a good deal of 'carnal knowledge under the age of consent' and a little wife-beating there is no crime worthy of the name.

Inspector Peter Daly was a young man with a blond moustache, a high English colour on smooth cheeks and pale blue eyes set close together like those of a sewer rat. He wore the uniform of the British colonial police, the cap with the silver badge and shiny patent leather peak, the khaki drill starched and ironed until it crackled softly as he walked, the polished leather belt and Sam Browne cross-straps. He carried a malacca cane swagger stick which was also covered with polished leather. Except for the green and yellow St Mary's shoulder flashes, he looked like the Empire's pride, but like the Empire the men who wore the uniform had also crumbled.

'Mr Fletcher,' he said, standing over our table and slapping the swagger stick lightly against his palm. 'I hope we are not going to have any trouble tonight.'

Filename: Scapeg Date: 1978 Title: Wycliffe and the Scapegoat Author: W.J. Burley B Charles Wycliffe C Mrs Wycliffe E the town guide book G the townspeople H girl in ceremony J master of ceremonies (Jordan) K groups of boys L groups of girls M older couples O Tony U Helen V the vicar W the women (of older couples) X unknown Y announcer Z Zelah
Chapter Two

THE HEADLAND SLOPED in a hollow curve to the sea and at its very crest, raised on an inclined plane like the launching ramp of a ship, was the Wheel. It stood within a ring of hissing pressure lamps which kept the darkness at bay. An elaborate framework of twisted osiers, the Wheel was nine feet in diameter with the proportions of a water-wheel; but lit by the lamps and raised aloft as it was, it looked gigantic. The osiers were almost hidden by plaited straw and by interlacing branches of yew and laurel; coloured streamers attached to the rim hung limply on the still air and within the Wheel, in a bower of straw and foliage, was a life-size figure wearing a grotesque mask and enveloped in a black cloak. Here was the embodiment of evil, the Scapegoat, and with his imminent destruction wickedness would be symbolically cast out and the townspeople would be once more on the side of the angels.

They were out in strength, a milling crowd, grouping and regrouping, like ants disturbed. Children who bravely ventured into the darkness soon came scampering back. It was October 31st, All-Hallows Eve, and only credit balances in several hundred bank accounts recalled summer visitors who had swarmed over the streets and beaches and cliffs between June and September. The town had settled to being itself again, sleepy, clannish, introverted. In a little while the Wheel would be set alight, released from its cradle and allowed to trundle down the slope, gathering momentum. Thunder flashes, Roman candles and other pyrotechnics would enliven its passage until, a spinning hoop of flame, it launched itself over the cliff, described a brief trajectory and plunged into the sea, never to be seen again.

At least, that was the theory. Most years it was washed up again on the next or a later tide, but this was of no consequence so long as the Scapegoat had gone. More seriously, on one or two occasions, the Wheel had not reached the sea but had left its appointed path to run amok in the gorse and heather, starting fires. Such mishaps were bad omens, and though the townspeople maintained that they did not take the Wheel seriously they were happier when all went according to plan.

For days before Hallowe'en several men devoted their spare time to preparing the track; the grass was trimmed, weeds and stones removed, hollows and gullies washed out by the rain were filled and the whole course was meticulously surveyed for snags and bumps. The custodianship of the path had become the prerogative of a few specialists with a fund of empirical knowledge which they gravely applied to securing the smooth passage of the Wheel. Now, for safety, the path was roped off on either side.

Detective Chief Superintendent Wycliffe and his wife, Helen, were to see the spectacle for the first time; they were spending a long weekend with the Ballards, who lived on the moor above the town. Tony Ballard was a painter and his wife, Zelah, wrote historical novels. Tony, shy and introverted, lived for his painting, while Zelah seemed to live as she wrote, with an engaging panache.

It was a mild night with clouds drifting across the sky and occasionally obscuring the new moon. Out to sea the beam of the lighthouse swept a great arc every fifteen seconds; on one side of the headland were the lights of the town and harbour, on the other it was just possible to make out a line of cliffs receding into the darkness.

Wycliffe was content; with his hands thrust deep into the pockets of his mackintosh, he watched the crowd, an occupation of which he never tired. People are so much more varied and interesting than birds or badgers or any of the other creatures naturalists watch with such exemplary patience. But Wycliffe's interest was far from scientific; he reached no profound sociological conclusions; he did not even attempt to be objective. On the contrary, he was satisfied to feel that he was sharing in other people's lives.

Teenaged boys paraded in groups of three or four, jostling each other, laughing and shouting; groups of girls, on the whole less brash and aggressive, giggled and chattered, calling to the boys whenever they were in range. Young couples strolled with their arms round each other, pausing now and then to kiss; older couples stopped to greet friends and while the women talked their husbands stood by looking foolishly amiable.

A disembodied voice came over the amplifiers instructing people to move outside the ropes.

&bquo;Let's find a good place, Tony, where we can see.&equo;

Opinion was divided over the best place to stand, for if they watched the launching they missed a close-up view of the final plunge into the sea. Zelah favoured the launching site, so that was where they stood.

&bquo;We can take a good look at the Wheel,&equo; she explained with embarrassing stridency. &bquo;Of course, originally, it was no effigy tied up in there, but a live man, a human scapegoat. Later, when people got squeamish about that sort of thing, they substituted cats — a dozen or so live cats tied up in a sack. Not that they had anything against cats as cats, but witches were believed to take the form of cats, so it was all quite reasonable, really.&equo;

Zelah seemed to know everybody and the Wycliffes were introduced to a bewildering variety of people whom they never expected to see again.

An eerie blast on a horn signalled the start of the ceremony and the crowd became silent. The master of ceremonies, in a white, druidical robe, mounted the platform by the launching ramp and stood, peering inland along another path, marked off by ropes which disappeared into the darkness. After a while a flickering light appeared in the distance and drew steadily nearer; a torch-bearer came into view, a girl, wearing a long white gown which left her arms bare; she carried aloft a burning torch which gave off a great deal of tarry smoke.

&bquo;She's supposed to be a virgin,&equo; Zelah explained in a stage whisper, &bquo;but I wouldn't like to bet on that one.&equo;

The girl mounted the steps to stand beside the master of ceremonies and they carried on a conversation which, though audible, was unintelligible.

&bquo;They're speaking in Cornish,&equo; Zelah said. &bquo; He's asking her if she has brought the need-fire and she tells him that she has. He says: &bquo;Was this flame kindled at the altar of the Lord?&equo; and she answers: &bquo;This flame was kindled at the holy fire.&equo; Actually she lights her torch at one of the candles in the church and somebody runs her up here in a car while she holds the torch out of the window. Of course, that's not how it's supposed to be done.&equo;

The white-robed man took the torch from the girl and held it up to the people. He said a few words which Zelah translated as: &bquo;This is the holy flame which shall consume our wickedness and purge our people of evil for the year to come.&equo;

A few people shouted the proper response, which sounded like, &bquo;Sans! Sans!&equo; Zelah said that it meant, &bquo;Holy! Holy!&equo;

After that the torch was applied to a point on the Wheel and at the same moment the chocks were knocked away. The Wheel seemed to hesitate, then it began to roll very slowly. Flames licked over the straw, which crackled and flared, and the Wheel was clear of the ramp and bowling gently down the cleared path. The first fireworks exploded and the Wheel was almost enveloped in flame while the air was filled with a mixture of smells — paraffin, sooty smoke from the straw and cordite from the fireworks. The Scapegoat appeared unharmed and was clearly visible through the curtain of fire, turning over and over as the Wheel rolled. It began to pick up speed and as it did so larger fireworks were detonated, so that showers of sparks and clouds of coloured smoke trailed behind like a peacock's tail, green and red and blue.

Faster and faster the Wheel trundled, a whirling fiery hoop, until it reached an artificial mound at the cliff edge and was deflected up into the air. It sailed in a great arc, hung poised for a fraction of a second, then plunged out of sight to the sea. Even from where the Wycliffes stood the effect was spectacular. Within seconds of the Wheel disappearing from sight the red glow was extinguished.

A spontaneous cry arose from the crowd followed by a moment of silence, then people began to talk again.

&bquo;A good show this year; not a hitch.&equo;

After the ceremony of the Wheel there was a firework display and people bought chips and hot-dogs from traders with vans who were cashing in on the occasion.

The sky, which had been clear and filled with stars, was clouding over and a moist wind blew in from the sea.

&bquo;This smells like rain,&equo; Zelah said. &bquo;We don't want to be caught up in the rush when it comes.&equo; She rounded up her charges before the others began to move and willed them along the path to the car park.

Wycliffe and Tony would have preferred to linger, to digest the experience, but they had no choice. They found the Ballards' car.

&bquo;Will you drive, Tony, or shall l?&equo;

&bquo;You drive, dear.&equo;

Wycliffe and Tony got into the back; Helen was in front with Zelah. In no time at all they were coasting down the slope out of the car park.

&bquo;What did you think of it?&equo;

&bquo;Very impressive.&equo;

&bquo;Oh, it was really worth seeing.&equo;

&bquo;Good! You must come again next year and see it from the cliff edge.&equo; Zelah really meant what she said; she was perfectly sincere in making an arrangement for twelve months ahead, never considering the possibilities of change.

They reached the town and drove through its narrow, deserted streets, then they began the long, steady climb to the moor.

&bquo;Tony did some sketches last year and he was going to work them up into a picture — why haven't you, Tony?&equo;

The Ballard house was built into the side of a hill, a long, low granite building which had once been something to do with a mine. Huge boulders littered their garden and gorse and heather encroached wherever they were permitted to survive. The house was reached by a stony drive more than half-a-mile long, furrowed and rutted by the drainage from the hill, but they had electricity, oil-fired central heating and no neighbours.

The living-room was long and low with roof-beams which still bore marks of the adze; the fireplace, built of rough-hewn stone, was phoney but acceptable and the walls were white. Tony's Cornish landscapes, in frames of plain gilt, looked well; their rich browns, yellows and orange tones warmed the room and more than balanced the white walls. There were bookcases of dark oak and a solitary shelf for Zelah's own books; nine titles in different editions with a sprinkling of foreign imprints. There was an expanse of untenanted shelf, presumably to allow for future production.

&bquo;Whisky, Charles?&equo; Tony poured drinks.

The two men were about the same age, nearing fifty; both were of the lean kind with strong features and over-thin lips; both were taciturn and found it difficult to put ideas into words. Of all the friends with whom Helen had involved him, Wycliffe felt most at ease with Tony. Zelah was a cross to be borne more or less cheerfully and Helen could handle her, when necessary, by being devastatingly blunt. On such occasions Zelah would shrug and say, &bquo;Oh, well, if that's how you want it, my child!&equo; At heart she was a kindly woman.

Zelah was older than her husband; she had straight, short, grey hair and a small, thin face which was never in repose. She did everything with quick, darting movements in which violence was barely restrained. When she used her typewriter she seemed intent on hammering holes in the paper.

Wycliffe was never at ease in other people's houses and not only because he was usually bored. He had never discovered when it was proper to follow his host about and when it was politic to be elsewhere. Now he sat by the fire with his whisky, a drink he did not care for, making conversation with Tony and hoping that it would soon be time for bed. Zelah was telling Helen the plot of her next novel.

&bquo;How long have these fire festivals been going on?&equo;

Tony took his time; his responses were always sluggish. &bquo; According to the town guide they date back to Celtic times. I expect you know that November 1st is supposed to have been the start of the Celtic year. They were allowed to lapse in the late nineteenth century and were not revived until after the last war. The chap you saw in the druid outfit got them going again and he's still the king-pin.&equo;

Tony sipped his whisky and stirred the fire before going on: &bquo;He's a strange chap; he runs a small-holding on the moor not far from here. His name is Jordan. He says that his ancestors came over here from Brittany in the seventeenth century, fleeing from Catholic persecution.&equo; Tony smoothed his hand over his thinning hair. &bquo;I think he's probably a bit mixed up in matters of doctrine but he claims to be a &bquo;true protestant&equo; not, as he says, a Lutheran protestant. His protest, apparently, goes back a lot further, to the Synod of Whitby when, according to him, the Celtic Christian Church was sold down the river to Rome.&equo;

Wycliffe knocked out his pipe in the grate. &bquo;But surely, that show tonight can't have much to do with Christianity, Celtic or otherwise?&equo;

Tony smiled. &bquo; The vicar would certainly agree with you, but you should talk to Jordan, though not unless you have half a day to spare.&equo;

&bquo;His daughter, Cissie, has just had an illegitimate baby,&equo; Zelah chimed in. However deeply involved she might be in her own conversation she rarely missed anything that was said by those around her. &bquo;I listen with my writer's ear,&equo; she would say.

&bquo;It's our great local mystery at the moment; nobody knows who the father is except, perhaps, Cissie, and if she knows she's not telling.&equo;

Title: Dirty Tricks Author: Michael Dibdin B first person narrator C Karen G Clive Phillips J Dennis X unknown
II

&bquo;Love's dart, being barbed,&equo; to quote a couplet familiar to every schoolchild here, &bquo;cannot retract, only plunge more deeply i' the panting breast.&equo; Or as they put it in the locker-room, once you're in, you're in. What happened that afternoon was the product of countless details, all of which had to be just right. If it hadn't been so hot, if there had been no row the night before, if Dennis hadn't passed out, if I'd fallen asleep, if any of the others had been there, if Karen had come back later, if she'd gone straight to the pool rather than taken a shower, if any or all of these had been the case, then intercourse would not have occurred.

Once it had, though, it was relatively simple to convince Karen that the whole thing had been inevitable. No one likes to be made to look like a mere creature of chance. It was simply too demeaning to believe that the experience we had shared had been dependent on such things as the amount of booze Dennis put away that lunchtime. We had to repossess what fate had handed us on a plate, and the only way to do this was to claim that we had willed it all along. When I broke the matter to Karen on the deck of the ferry going home, however, I sugared the locker-room logic in language more akin to the elegant formulas of your illustrious bard.

&bquo;We can't put the clock back, Karen. What's happened has happened. Now we know how it feels to be together fully, how can we be content with anything less?&equo;

Thick Britannic cloud massed overhead. The Channel swill chopped and slapped all around. Dennis and the others were propping up the bar, Karen was supposedly selecting duty-free perfume. No one cared what I was doing.

&bquo;I know,&equo; she sighed.

Karen Parsons never ceased to astonish me. I'd been expecting her to put up a stiff rearguard action, protesting that holidays were one thing and everyday life another, that she had only surrendered to me in a moment of weakness which she would regret for the rest of her life, and so on and so forth. I was confident I could wear her down eventually, but I certainly never expected her to come across at the first time of asking. But instead of prevaricating and procrastinating she came over all gooey, stroking my hand and squeezing my arm and saying she didn't want to lose me but she was frightened, frightened and confused, she didn't know what to do.

This was a Karen I hadn't seen before, and one I didn't have much time for, to be frank. After my belated conversion from the outworn pieties of my youth what I wanted from Karen was a crash course in greed, voracity, cheap thrills and superficial emotion. What attracted me to her was her animality. The last thing I needed was her going all human on me. Karen was a magnificent bitch, but when she tried to be human she turned into a Disney puppy: trashy, vulgar and sentimental.

When I kissed her, she twisted against me urgently, and then I understood. Actions, not words, were the way to Karen's heart. On the level of language she was frightened, confused and unsure what to do, but her body spoke loud and clear. I looked round. There was no one about apart from a couple of youths stoning the seagulls with empty beer bottles. I led Karen up a narrow companion-way marked &bquo;Crew Only&equo; to a constricted quarterdeck partially screened by the lifeboats hanging from their cradles. We did it on the sloping lid of a locker, our jeans and knickers round our ankles. It was what you might call a duty fuck. A pallid sun appeared like a nosy neighbour spying from behind lace curtains. The wind ricocheted about the deck, raising goose-bumps on our bare flesh. A seagull on one of the lifeboats regarded us with a voyeur's eye. It wasn't much fun, but we did it, and that was the main thing. Until we had made love again, that first occasion at the villa was in danger of becoming the exception which proved the rule. As a unique event, Karen could file it away in her snapshot album as one of the interesting things that had happened during her holiday in France. But as soon as it was repeated, its individuality merged into a series extending indefinitely into the future. By the time we returned to the bar Karen's extramarital virginity had been lost beyond recall. Back in Oxford, I discovered I was not only broke but unemployed. Clive Phillips, the council estate dodger who had got on his bike and into the fast lane, had fired me. Well he didn't need to fire me. Like all the teachers, I had a one-year contract renewable at Clive's discretion, which in my case he found himself unable to exercise.

&bquo;I don't think I can do it,&equo; is how he put it when I phoned him. &bquo;I just don't think it's on, quite frankly, at this particular point in time.&equo;

The technical term for the speech-like noise that babies produce before they learn to talk is &bquo;jargoning&equo;. That's what I did now.

&bquo;The fact of the matter is, several of the teachers on the course you missed because of skiving off on holiday, a number of them have asked me if they can stay on for the autumn term. Comparisons are insidious, I know, but I have to say they're good. Sharp, hungry, keen as mustard. Thatcher's kids. Make me feel my age, tell you the truth! Anyway, what with you not being around and that, I felt constricted to give them a crack of the whip. Only fair, really.&equo;

You knew this was going to happen, didn't you? &bquo;Watch out!&equo; you yelled as I set off on holiday. &bquo;Look behind you!&equo; You saw it coming a mile off. I didn't. I really didn't. When I put that phone down, I was in tears. I couldn't believe the universe could do this to me. Deep down inside, you see, I still believed that life was basically benevolent. I wasn't naive enough to expect the goodies to win every time, but over the long-haul, and certainly in the last reel, I sort of weakly, vaguely, wetly assumed that things would come right. I should have realized that Clive would dump me at the first opportunity, that he had in fact been looking for an excuse to do so. Clive didn't want quality or experience in his teachers. Quality expects rewards, experience makes comparisons. What Clive wanted was callow youth.

At such moments of crisis, some people resort to drink. I couldn't afford drink, so I resorted to Karen instead. The only advantage of being dumped by Clive was that it made this a lot simpler. Dennis's mornings were fully taken up meeting clients, delegating responsibilities, processing figures and accessing data. His afternoons were much less predictable, and that was also when the bulk of Karen's contact hours were timetabled. So if I'd still been giving Clive the best part of my days, occasions for dalliance would have been rare and risky. As a gentleman of leisure it was a breeze. Dennis Parsons was blessed with behavioural patterns which were etched into his brain like circuits in a microchip. When it comes to the detail of everyday life most of us just muddle through somehow, but Dennis was a Platonist. When he went to the toilet, for example, his aim wasn't just any old crap but the closest possible approximation in this imperfect world to the Eternal Idea of Dennis-Going-to-the-Toilet. This had been of something more than philosophical interest to Karen and I in our pre-coital phase, since it meant that we could count on at least a minute thirty seconds before he reappeared, or as much as three minutes forty-five seconds if we heard the seat go down for a big jobby.

Now we had moved on to bigger and better things, this predictability still stood us in good stead. At 8.57 every weekday, Dennis went out to fetch the BMW from the garage. Exactly one minute later, he backed it out on to the drive and turned round. Leaving the engine running, he then returned to the house to collect his executive briefcase and other relevant impedimenta. At 9 o'clock precisely, just as the pips ended and the news began, he got back into the car and drove off. I observed this routine the day after I learned that my services were no longer required at the Oxford International Language College, and I knew that barring an Act of God I could set my watch by it thereafter. As soon as Dennis had roared off towards the offices of Osiris Management Services I strolled down Ramillies Drive to the Parsonage and rang the bell.

Karen came to the door in her dressing-gown. I pushed past her into the hall and closed the door behind us.

&bquo;What are you doing?&equo;

I untied the belt of her dressing-gown and got my hands inside.

&bquo;Don't!&equo;

To my surprise, she was wearing panties underneath her nightdress.

&bquo;Stop it! Don't! I can't!&equo;

&bquo;You already have.&equo;

&bquo;No, I mean I really can't.&equo;

I stared at her.

&bquo;I've got my period,&equo; she said.

&bquo;So what?&equo;

She frowned.

&bquo;Don't you mind?&equo;

&bquo;Not if you don't.&equo;

To prove it, I gave her head. The effect was electric. Overwhelmed by this proof of my devotion, Karen abandoned herself as never before. The fact that we were making love in the Parsons' matrimonial bed, the sheets still warm and smelly from their previous occupant, may have had something to do with it as well. Unavoidably detained in a traffic snarl-up in Park End Street, Dennis couldn't be with us in person, but he was present in spirit, and the result was quite literally indescribable.

That morning set the pattern for our love-making. Outwardly, my habits hardly changed at all. I still left Winston Street every morning for the long cycle ride through town and up the Banbury Road. At about ten to nine I tethered the bike to a lamp-post and proceeded at a leisurely pace on foot to the Parsons'. I had to wait at most a couple of minutes before Dennis opened the back door, walked across to the garage, unlocked it, swung the door up and stepped inside. While he was out of sight of the gate I walked up the drive, opened the front door with the key Karen had given me, and ran upstairs. After that it was a race. I reduced the odds by wearing a pullover, slip-off shoes and no underwear, but it was still touch and go. The idea was to be in Karen's bed, in Karen's arms and, ideally, in Karen, by the time Dennis paused to call &bquo;Goodbye, darling&equo; from the foot of the stairs.

Dennis's unwitting participation in our mating was so exciting that we soon overcame any lingering doubts about the risks involved. So far from abandoning our folly, we started pushing it as far as it would go. This was made perfectly clear by our spontaneous reaction one morning when it seemed that the game was finally up. Dennis had shouted goodbye and gone out as usual, closing the front door loudly behind him. In the bedroom upstairs his wife and I were making love slowly. But instead of the genteel growl as the BMW drove off, Dennis's footsteps crunched back across the gravel to the house and the front door opened.

&bquo;Kay!&equo;

He started to climb the stairs. Karen thrust her pelvis against me and raked my buttocks with her fingernails.

&bquo;Did you call Roger about Saturday?&equo;

&bquo;Forgot.&equo;

&bquo;Oh for God's sake, Karen. Have you got any idea of the number of things I have to keep track of every day? Calls to make, people to see, papers to consign? All I ask of you is to make one phone call to firm up a social event, and you can't even get that together!&equo;

While Dennis maundered on, Karen filled her mouth with my shoulder and neck, then broke away to shout her brief replies in as normal a voice as possible. I was working her hard by now, trying to make her lose control. With Dennis just a few feet away on the stairs, it was the sexual equivalent of Russian roulette.

&bquo;Sorry.&equo;

&bquo;It's no use being bloody sorry, just get it done. Today, all right? This morning. Phone him at work. Have you got the number?&equo;

&bquo;Nah!&equo;

&bquo;Well it's in the book. Acme Media Consultants. Just don't forget again, understand?&equo;

&bquo;Wanna!&equo;

&bquo;What?&equo;

There was a pause. Dennis squeaked up another couple of steps.

&bquo;Are you all right?&equo;

&bquo;Flubbadub.&equo;

&bquo;You sound a bit funny.&equo;

&bquo;Gawn,&equo; Karen squawked. &bquo;Slate!&equo;

This was an appeal Dennis couldn't ignore. After a moment we heard his footsteps descending the stairs again.

&bquo;Just don't forget to make that call!&equo; he shouted from the hallway.

By now Karen's neck was a tree trunk of muscles that branched out across her face, slitting her eyes, tauting her lips, draw-stringing her throat. As the BMW finally drove away they all let go at once, releasing an answering roar that seemed to come all the way from her sex and anus, rippling up her spine and out of her gaping mouth.

&bquo;That was the best ever,&equo; she gasped as we lay side by side, our arms and hips touching lightly. &bquo;Whatever would we do without him?&equo;

I had my ideas about that.

Date: (Not given) Title: GET CARTER Author: Ted Lewis B Carter (first person narrator) C Landlady G Con J Peter K Gerald L Les M telephone operator
Saturday

I woke up.

I was alone. It was daylight and it was raining. The bed was warm. I only had my shirt on. It was undone and rived up round my armpits. The door opened. My landlady backed into the room. She was carrying a tray with breakfast stuff on it. I looked at my watch. It said twenty to nine. My landlady came and sat on the bed. I sat up. She put the tray across my legs. On it there was boiled eggs and things. All I was interested in was the tea pot.

&bquo;What's this in aid of?&equo; I said.

&bquo;Would you like me to throw it at you?&equo;

I didn't say anything. She poured the tea out. I drank a cup and poured myself a refill.

&bquo;Well,&equo; she said, &bquo;aren't you going to eat it?&equo;

&bquo;I don't eat breakfast,&equo; I said.

&bquo;You're a real little charmer, aren't you?&equo; she said.

I picked up my cup and she moved the tray to the part of the bed I wasn't in. I could tell from her face she wanted more. I didn't want to give her any but if she insisted I thought I'd better. For the same reason I had done last night; the sweeter she was, the less danger there was of her phoning the Cop Shop if she ever saw a newspaper item she might associate with me. You never could tell.

She got into bed and we got down to it. We were going strong when the bedroom door opened.

I rolled off her very quickly. The breakfast things went all over the place. I took most of the bedclothes with me. My landlady screamed and tried to snatch the bedclothes back but she couldn't quite manage it so she carried on screaming.

Now I was on my back I could see who had opened the bedroom door.

Two men were standing there looking at us. One was fairly tall with the sort of unhandsome good looks you get on blokes in the after-shave ads. He also dressed the part. He had on a white shirt with a broad hairline red and green check pattern to it, a red knitted tie, a bottle green V-neck, twill trousers and Oxford boots. Across his shoulders was draped a fur collared waterproof and on his hands were those tiny stringy driving gloves. The only items not entirely for show were the Oxford boots.

He was smiling.

The other man was not so tall and not nearly so good looking. He had on a leather trilby and a single breasted leather coat with a tie belt. Underneath the coat was a mohair suit the same colour as mine. Not surprising as we both used the same tailor. Black hair curled from under the trilby and hung over his coat collar. His hands were in his coat pockets.

He was smiling.

The good looking man in the English clothes was called Peter the Dutchman. The not so good looking man was called Con McCarty. It wasn't a big step from there to Mack the Knife.

They both worked for Gerald and Les Fletcher.

&bquo;Hello, Jack,&equo; said Con, still smiling.

&bquo;Don't let us interrupt you. You just carry on with what you were doing,&equo; said Peter. He was still smiling too.

My landlady had stopped screaming by now because she'd managed to cover herself up. I sat up and looked at Peter and Con.

&bquo;Don't tell me,&equo; I said. &bquo;Let me guess.&equo;

Con rubbed his nose with his forefinger.

&bquo;Sorry about this,&equo; he said. &bquo;But there you are. Orders is orders, as they say.&equo;

&bquo;And what orders would they be, Con?&equo;

&bquo; Gerald called us at half-past three this morning. Just after somebody had called him. Somebody told him you'd been making a nuisance of yourself.&equo;

I said nothing.

&bquo; So Gerald asked us if we'd drive up and ask you if you wouldn't mind coming back to London with us,&equo; said Peter.

&bquo; He said it'd be doing him a big favour if you would,&equo; said Con.

I said nothing.

&bquo;I mean, we appreciate why you're all steamed up,&equo; said Con, &bquo; and so do Gerald and Les, they really do.&equo;

&bquo;But they have to be diplomatic,&equo; said Peter. &bquo;They have to take the broader view.&equo;

Both of them were still smiling.

&bquo;Gerald and Les sent you to fetch me back,&equo; I said.

They just went on smiling.

&bquo;One way or the other,&equo; I said.

They didn't say anything.

&bquo;And you think you're going to do it,&equo; I said.

Nothing but smiles.

I leapt out of the bed and picked up the shotgun and pointed it at them.

&bquo;Right,&equo; I said. &bquo;Right. So take me back to London.&equo;

&bquo;Now, Jack,&equo; said Con, &bquo;you know it'd be best if you just got dressed and came with us.&equo;

&bquo;I mean, we don't want to get all involved, do we?&equo; said Peter.

I advanced on them. They stepped back a little bit. They were still smiling.

&bquo;Put it away, Jack,&equo; said Con. &bquo;You know you won't use it.&equo;

&bquo;The gun he means,&equo; said Peter.

&bquo;Out,&equo; I said. &bquo;Out, out, out!&equo;

They bundled through the door. Con laughed.

&bquo;If Audrey could see you now,&equo; he said.

&bquo;Out,&equo; I said.

They started down the stairs, stumbling against one another in their mirth. I followed. In the hall Peter stopped and said:

&bquo;We'll have to take you back Jack, whether we do it now or later.&equo;

Con opened the front door.

&bquo;Come on Jack,&equo; he said. &bquo;Be reasonable.&equo;

&bquo;Out,&equo; I said.

They went through the front door, still smiling. I followed them. The street was slick with greasy rain. Peter's red Jag was parked by the kerb across the street from the boarding house. He loved his shiny red motor. He kept it looking very nice.

Con and Peter went down the steps and stood on the path and looked up at me.

&bquo;Well, I suppose we'll be seeing you later,&equo; said Con.

&bquo;Out,&equo; I said.

&bquo;We are out,&equo; said Peter.

I began to go down the steps.

&bquo;Mind you don't catch cold,&equo; said Con.

They both laughed.

&bquo;I hope she's got understanding neighbours,&equo; said Peter.

They went down the path and got into the Jag.

&bquo;See you when you've got your trousers on,&equo; said Con.

I went into the hall and closed the door behind me. There was a pay phone on the wall next to the hall stand. I went over to the phone and picked up the receiver. I dialled &bquo;O&equo;. After a while the operator came on. I asked for a London number. Transfer charge. I waited.

&bquo;A Mr. Carter is calling from 3950. Will you pay for the call?&equo;

&bquo;Yes, thank you,&equo; said Gerald's voice.

&bquo;Go ahead please caller,&equo; said the operator.

&bquo;Gerald?&equo; I said.

&bquo;Hello, Jack.&equo;

&bquo;I've just seen Peter the Dutchman and Con McCarty.&equo;

&bquo;Oh yes? How are they?&equo;

&bquo;Very well,&equo; I said. &bquo;Providing they keep out of my way.&equo;

&bquo;Now look, Jack …&equo;

&bquo;No. You look. You look,&equo; I shouted. &bquo;Get off my fucking back, Gerald, or there'll be trouble. I'm telling you.&equo;

&bquo; You're telling me, Jack?&equo;

&bquo;That's right.&equo;

&bquo;Oh, I must have got it wrong: I thought I was the boss and that you worked for me.&equo;

I heard Les's voice in the background saying &bquo;Let me talk to the cunt&equo;. There was a rattle at the other end of the line. Les came on.

&bquo;Now listen here, cunt,&equo; he said. &bquo;You work for us. You do as you're told. That's what you're paid to do. Either you come back today or you're dead. I mean that.&equo;

&bquo;Oh yes?&equo; I said. &bquo;That's very interesting.&equo;

Gerald came back on the line.

&bquo;Les didn't mean that Jack,&equo; he said. &bquo;He's very angry just at the moment.&equo;

I heard Les's voice in the background saying yes he fucking well did mean it.

&bquo;Then what did he mean?&equo;

&bquo;Look, Jack, why don't you come home and save everybody a lot of trouble.&equo;

&bquo;I am home. And who's everybody?&equo;

&bquo;You, for a start.&equo;

&bquo;And?&equo;

&bquo;Us.&equo;

&bquo;Why? &equo;

&bquo;Never mind.&equo;

&bquo;You know something, don't you?&equo;

&bquo;No, I don't Jack. Just come home with Con and Peter and let's forget it, eh?&equo;

&bquo;I'm not coming back, Gerald. Not until I've found who killed Frank.&equo;

&bquo;You know we've asked Con and Peter to bring you back even if you don't particularly want to come?&equo;

&bquo;I did gather that,&equo; I said. &bquo;Have they got shooters?&equo;

&bquo;Jack …&equo;

&bquo;Because they'll bloody well need them,&equo; I said and slammed the phone down.

I went up the stairs. My landlady was standing at the top. I walked past her into my room and went over to the window. I looked out. Peter the Dutchman was sitting on the bonnet of the car, smoking, looking up at the window. He waved when he saw me. I couldn't see any sign of Con. He was probably round the back. I turned away and began to get dressed. My landlady came into the room.

&bquo;I want you to do something for me,&equo; I said, tying my tie.

&bquo;What, and get myself beaten up again?&equo;

&bquo;There's no chance of that,&equo; I said.

&bquo;Not much.&equo;

&bquo;They're friends of mine.&equo;

&bquo;That'll make me feel better, will it?&equo;

I ignored her and packed my hold-all and picked up the shotgun. I went out of the room. She followed me downstairs and into the kitchen. I looked over the top of the lace curtains that covered the glass panel in the back door. I couldn't see anything of Con. There were just dustbins and damp grey grass and beyond the thin rain more houses.

&bquo;We're going into the garage by the door at the side,&equo; I said. &bquo;I'm going to get in the car and the minute I start it up, I want you to open the garage door. Sharpish.&equo;

&bquo;What are you going to do?&equo;

&bquo;Sit in the car and whistle Rule Britannia.&equo;

I opened the door and stepped outside. My landlady folded her arms and stayed where she was. I leant back and grabbed an arm and pulled her after me.

&bquo;Will you be coming back?&equo; she said.

I pushed her into the space between the house and the garage and opened the side door.

&bquo;Eh?&equo; she said.

I pushed her inside. I put the shotgun and the hold-all in the boot and got in the car and softly closed the door. I looked at my landlady. She was still standing by the door. She'd folded her arms again. I got out of the car and walked round to her.

&bquo;You're not, are you?&equo; she said. I gave her a clout and shoved her over to the big door and went and got back in the car.

I looked at her and she looked at me. I switched the engine on. She didn't do anything. I waved my arms about at her. She pulled a face at me. I started to get out of the car. She bent down and put her hand on the handle in the middle of the big door. I sat back and nodded to her. She turned the handle. I pressed the starter and the engine caught first time. She pushed against the garage door and it slid upwards. I put my foot down and the car began to move forward.

Date: 1992 Title: Dead Beat Author: Val McDermid B Kate (first person narrator) C Dennis the burglar and coach G Christine J Richard K Paki Paulie L Paulie's minder M Tamar X unknown Y scruffy kids
25

The smell of sweat was the first thing that hit me as I walked into the club. Not stale sweat, but the honest smell of hard-working bodies. Various voices greeted me as I walked over to the ringside where two teenage girls were engaged in kicking shit out of each other in as technically perfect a way as possible. For once, I hadn't come to fight myself, though just watching made my body yearn for release.

The man I'd come to see was standing in a line-backer's crouch, his face distorted by yells of encouragement. &bquo;Go for it, Christine,&equo; he was screaming. And we think we've come a long way from the primeval ooze, I thought, as I tapped my friend Dennis the burglar on the shoulder. He whipped round and I took a nervous step backwards.

When he saw me, he straightened up and grinned. &bquo;Hiya, Kate. Just give me a minute. Our Christine'll be through to the semi-finals in a couple of minutes.&equo; Then he spun back to face the ring and resumed his passionate cheerleading. Nothing comes before Dennis's family.

The bell sounded for the end of the round, and after a moment's conferring with the judges, the referee held Christine's gloved hand up in victory. Let's face it, with Dennis's reputation, there wasn't a judge in the place who wouldn't have given any benefit of the doubt to Christine. Not that she ever needed that, I had to admit.

Christine emerged from the ring to a bear hug from her father. Even her body protector wasn't enough to stop her wincing at the force of his embrace. She gave me a wry grin and said, &bquo;I'll soon be good enough to lick you, Kate.&equo;

&bquo;On that showing, you could do it now,&equo; I told her. I wasn't joking either. I turned to Dennis. &bquo;She's really got it.&equo;

&bquo;You're not wrong. She could go all the way, that kid. She's well sound. Now, what can I do for you, Kate?&equo;

&bquo;I need your brains and your body, Dennis.&equo;

He faked a wicked leer. &bquo;I always said you'd never be able to resist my animal magnetism. Did you finally ditch the wimp, then?&equo;

I didn't take offence. He affectionately calls Richard &bquo;the wimp&equo; to his face. Richard returns the compliment by calling Dennis Neanderthal Man, and Dennis pretends not to understand what it means. They're all big kids, men. And just like kids, they're ruled by their appetites. Like Jett with Tamar.

&bquo;Sorry to disappoint you, Dennis, but it's just your muscle I'm after.&equo;

He pretended to be devastated by the news, clapping his hand to his forehead and saying, &bquo;How can I face tomorrow, Kate?&equo; Then he became serious. &bquo;Is this going to take a while?&equo;

&bquo;Couple of hours at the most.&equo;

&bquo;Let me take Christine home, and I'll meet you in half an hour at your place. OK?&equo;

Dennis was true to his word. Exactly half an hour later, my doorbell rang. I had the kettle boiled in readiness. He likes to stay in shape, does Dennis. He seldom drinks alcohol, never touches drugs, and runs six miles every morning, rain or shine. His only vice, apart from burglary and GBH, is cigarettes. I greeted him with a cup of sweet milky coffee, placed an ashtray by his feet and settled down with my vodka and grapefruit.

&bquo;Schneids,&equo; I announced.

&bquo;I told you all I could about the Smarts,&equo; he said, wagging a finger at me. He was right. He'd given me a head start in my inquiries. He's a great source, is Dennis, as long as the people I'm after have no connection to his friends or family. Well, those of his extended family that he's on speaking terms with at any given time. And sometimes, he spontaneously brings me little gems if he owes someone a bad turn. His moral code is stricter than that of a Jesuit priest, and not a lot easier to figure out.

&bquo;It's not the Smarts I'm interested in right now, I don't think. It's a guy in Bradford called Fat Freddy. Mean anything to you?&equo;

Dennis frowned. &bquo;I think I've heard the name, but I can't put a face to it. He's not connected locally.&equo;

&bquo;He's in the schneid merchandising area — t-shirts, pirate cassettes. Anyway, there's a tie-in to another case I'm working. What I'm trying to get at is why someone who's legitimately involved in the merchandising business would have anything to do with a schneid merchant.&equo;

Dennis lit a cigarette and flicked a trace of ash off his shell suit bottoms. &bquo;S'easy, Kate. Say I'm licensed to produce the straight gear for a top band like Dead Babies, and I'm a bit bent myself. I find out who's doing the schneids and I offer them a deal. I won't shop them if they cut me in on their scam. I mean, a couple of years ago, shopping someone was no big deal. They just got raided and their gear confiscated. But now they've changed the law, you can go down for these trademark jobs. So it's a real threat. Also, if I was double bent, I'd offer my schneid merchant advance copies of the designs I was going to put out next, so he'd have a head start against the competition.&equo; He sat back and blew smoke rings, well pleased with himself. It made a lot of sense.

&bquo;I like it. Thanks, Dennis. That was the brain bit. Now the muscle bit. You know a dealer called Paki Paulie?&equo;

Dennis scowled. He hates dealers more than he hates bent coppers. I think it's something to do with having two young kids. He once broke the legs of a pusher who was hanging round the local school gates, after the local police had failed to arrest the guy. There were a dozen mums who saw Dennis go berserk with a baseball bat, but not one of them ID'd Dennis when the cops arrived. They're used to rough justice round there. &bquo;Yeah,&equo; he growled. &bquo;I know that scumbag.&equo;

&bquo;I need to know if he sold any heroin to one of the people involved in this case I'm on. I've got a funny feeling he's not going to roll over for me. That's why I need a bit of muscle. You game?&equo;

&bquo;When do we start?&equo; Dennis asked. He drained his coffee mug and leaned forward expectantly.

We found Paki Paulie an hour later in a seedy bar in Cheetham Hill. The front bar looked like any other run down pub, its clientele mainly middle-aged, poor and defeated. But the back bar was like walking into another world. In the dim light, a handful of guys in expensive suits held court at the tables lining the walls, accompanied by their muscle. Scruffy kids meandered in and out, pausing by one table or another for muttered conversation. Sometimes cash was passed over fairly discreetly in exchange for dope. More often, the dealer got up and accompanied his punter out of the bar's back door into the car park.

On my own, I'd have been scared I'd be taken for a cop. But with Dennis by my side, there was no danger of that. He nodded towards one of the corner tables while we waited for our drinks.

&bquo;That him?&equo; I asked, trying to keep my glance casual. Dennis nodded.

Paki Paulie wore a shimmering silver grey double-breasted suit over an open-necked cobalt blue shirt. The clothes were obviously expensive but he looked cheap as a bag of sherbet lemons. He was leaning back in his chair, gazing at a point on the ceiling as if his only worry in the world was what to drink next. Next to him, a hard-looking white youth stared gloomily into an almost-empty pint pot.

Dennis picked up his glass and strolled over to the table, with me in his wake. &bquo;All right, Paulie?&equo; he said.

&bquo;Dennis,&equo; Paulie acknowledged with a regal nod.

&bquo;How's business?&equo;

&bquo;Not good. It's the interest rates, you know?&equo; Paulie replied, twitching his mouth into a smile. That was all I needed. A smack dealer with a smart mouth.

&bquo;A word, Paulie,&equo; Dennis said softly.

&bquo;Dennis, you can have as many words as you want.&equo; Paulie's urbanity was firing on all four cylinders now, but it wasn't polished enough to cover the quick flicker of concern in his eyes.

&bquo;You heard about Jack the Smack?&equo; Dennis asked innocently. Paulie's eyebrows rose. He clearly knew all about Dennis's little vigilante action. &bquo;Bad time for accidents in your line of business,&equo; Dennis went on conversationally. &bquo;State of the health service these days, nobody in their right mind'd want to end up in hospital.&equo;

Paulie's protection seemed to gather himself together and shifted forward in his seat. &bquo;You want to … &equo; was all he got out before Paulie snapped, &bquo;Shut it.&equo; He turned back to Dennis and said, &bquo;I hear what you're saying, Dennis.&equo;

Dennis gestured towards me with his glass. &bquo;This is a friend of mine. She's looking for some information. She's not the law, and if you're straight with her, there's no comeback.&equo;

Paulie looked directly at me. &bquo;How do I know I can trust you?&equo;

&bquo;The company I keep,&equo; I answered.

Dennis put his glass down and cracked his knuckles dramatically. Paulie's eyes flicked from me to Dennis and back again. I took a photograph of Tamar out of my bag. It was one I'd clipped from the papers that morning, with Jett cut out of it. &bquo;Has this woman ever bought anything from you?&equo;

He barely glanced at it and shrugged. &bquo;Maybe. How do I know? I serve a lot of punters.&equo;

&bquo;I can't believe you've got a lot of punters like this, Paulie. Natural blonde, doesn't dress out of a catalogue, accent like Princess Di? Come on, you can do better than that.&equo;

Paulie picked up the picture and studied it. &bquo;I seen her down the Hassy,&equo; he finally conceded.

&bquo;How much did you sell her, then?&equo; Dennis butted in, thrusting his face forwards till it was only inches from the dealer's.

&bquo;Who said I sold her anything? Shit, man, what is this? You joined the drugs squad?&equo;

Dennis's head snapped back, like a cobra ready to strike. Before he could complete the manoeuvre that would spread Paulie's nose over his face, the dealer shouted, &bquo;Wait!&equo; Dennis paused. The sound level in the room had dropped to an ominous level. A sheen of sweat had appeared above Paulie's top lip. His hand fluttered at his bodyguard who was straining at an invisible leash. &bquo;It's OK,&equo; he said loudly.

Gradually, the noise picked up. Paulie wiped his face with a paisley silk handkerchief. &bquo;OK,&equo; he sighed. &bquo;About a month ago, this tart came up to me in the Hassy saying she wanted some smack. She didn't seem to know what she wanted or how much. She told me she wanted it for a coming home present for a friend, enough for a dozen hits. I thought she was full of shit, but what the hell? I don't give a monkey's what they do with it. So I sold her ten grammes. I never saw her again. And that's the truth.&equo;

I believed him. It wasn't so much the threat of Dennis breaking his nose that had changed his mind. It was the thought of what would happen to him if the O'Brien brothers came looking for him. Even bodyguards have to sleep.

The thing that bothered me was that Dennis's methods hadn't bothered me. Maybe I'd been reading the wrong books. Perhaps tonight I should tuck myself up with an Agatha Christie and a few balls of pink wool.

Filename: .DthSTm Date: (Not given) Title: DEATH IN SPRINGTIME Author: Magdalen Nabb B Captain Maestrangelo C Carabinieri Brigadier G girl in hospital J Substitute Prosecutor K one of the Brigadier's men L Lieutenant M Debbie Y The kidnappers
Chapter Two

&bquo;Ring Pisa first for helicopters, I want the car found. They'll need to start around the Via Senese at this end and work south — no, there's no point in road blocks by this time, it's too late … sometime yesterday morning, I've nothing more definite. I'll need dog-handlers immediately and they'll have to be sent out to Pontino, there's no need for them to check in here first — the girl they released is in shock. I'll have her brought down here to Florence as soon as she can be moved but we'll have to leave her where she is for the moment — in fact, put me through to Pontino again now, will you? They might have something more for me by now …&equo;

There was a clean notepad lying on the desk before Captain Maestrangelo, and he held a pen in his hand but he made no notes. There was no need to. The routine at this stage never varied. It was unlikely that he would find it necessary to leave his office until the time came to visit the missing girl's parents and in the meantime he was capable of giving the usual orders while half asleep — which he very nearly was, having been called from his bed not much after five in the morning. It was now five twenty-five and he rubbed a hand over his unshaven face as he hung up and leaned back in his chair for a moment until the call from Pontino should come through. The lights were on in the office from which he commanded the Carabinieri Company covering the section of the city that lay south of the river Arno and a large tract of country going south through the Chianti hills to the borders of the Province of Siena. It was just his bad luck that the village of Pontino lay just within that border and that it was he, and not some Sienese colleague who had been awakened at dawn. The city outside his window was still invisible except for a barely discernible outline of the roofs of Borgo Ognissanti against the paler darkness of the sky. It was still raining but less heavily. The occasional small truck rumbled along the riverside going towards the central market. In half an hour a dozen or so cars would drive into the inner courtyard and the morning shift would take over. The routine never varied … road blocks if the kidnapping was reported immediately, helicopters, dogs, inform the Substitute Prosecutor, set up the search for the base-man, the wait for the first communication. The parents were the only variable and even they didn't vary much; their reactions followed a predictable pattern as well understood by the police as it was by the kidnappers. The Captain's call from Pontino came through. The Carabinieri Brigadier out in Pontino was now ready with a completed preliminary report which he read slowly, word for word as he had written it, meticulous and too long. The Captain didn't interrupt him. No Substitute Prosecutor would appreciate being called at this hour.

&bquo; The girl then said, in very approximate Italian, &bquo;They've still got Deborah. I have to call the American Consulate.&equo; She later became much less coherent. I then telephoned the local doctor and Headquarters …&equo;

The only thing bothering the Captain at this stage was the sort of Substitute Prosecutor he would get. These cases were lengthy and delicate. It wasn't just that the parents had to be kept under control despite the fact that they and the police were in many respects working at cross purposes, it was the danger of some third party interfering … a go-between with power and influence was what the Captain dreaded most …

&bquo; A woollen sweater, blue with red and darker blue pattern across the shoulders. One pair of blue jeans, faded, American label, in the pockets of which were found two cinema tickets, one wallet, brown leather with a red painted design, containing …&equo;

An experienced Substitute Prosecutor who would stand by him if things got tricky … and he hadn't always been lucky.

&bquo; Throat lozenges labelled &bquo;Winky&equo;, made in Milan, the paper torn and three of the lozenges remaining . A folded letter hand-written in English on lined exercise paper and addressed to the American Consul General of Florence, no envelope — &bquo;

&bquo;What!&equo;

&bquo;There was no envelope — &bquo;

&bquo;The letter, Brigadier, the letter! The contents?&equo;

&bquo;I'm afraid there's nobody here who can …&equo;

&bquo;I'm coming out there immediately.&equo; Well, whoever the Substitute turned out to be, he was going to be got out of bed at quarter to six whether he liked it or not. It wasn't the best foot to start off on but there it was …

The Substitute was a new man, Milanese, judging by the rapidity of his speech and the way he mumbled his S's, and far from being annoyed, he seemed to be amused.

&bquo; I was just asking myself whether it was worthwhile going to bed or not. I'll take a shower and be with you in twenty minutes — I trust you've had plenty of experience in this sort of thing?&equo;

&bquo;Yes.&equo;

&bquo;Good. I haven't. I'll take that shower.&equo; And he rang off.

Nonplussed, the Captain ordered a car and, after a moment's thought, told his sleepy adjutant that he was going back to his quarters to shave and have a coffee.

Asking himself whether there was any point in going to bed …? What sort of man … this letter business didn't ring true at all … that they had taken the two girls and released one could simply mean a problem of identification, although even that was unlikely, but to send a first message before the parents had time to become frantic, possibly before they even knew … the whole thing could be a hoax, and yet the girl's condition … a hoax gone wrong! Impossible to judge anyway without reading the thing when they got out there … whether it was worthwhile going to bed at five-forty-five in the morning? What sort of Substitute Prosecutor was this going to be?

One who smoked too much, that was evident by the time the car turned on to the autostrada going south towards Siena, its light and siren going although the roads were fairly quiet. It was still dark and the weather was wet and foggy, but the blue fog inside the car was worse as the Substitute lit his third pungent little Tuscan cigar. The Captain tried to slide the back window down as unobtrusively as possible when the young Sub-lieutenant sitting beside the driver began to choke. But the Substitute caught his movement and, with a quick sidelong smile and a rueful glance at the offending object, he leaned back in his seat and said solemnly: &bquo;It's my only vice.&equo;

Out of the corner of his eye the Captain took in the man's elegant, obviously expensive clothes, noted the perfume not quite smothered by cigar smoke, and remembered the remark about whether it was worthwhile going to bed. He said nothing.

The car left the autostrada and the bright new factories dotted about the valley and took a narrow, winding road up into the hills on the right. Even in the dreary beginnings of a rainy dawn the newly sprouting vines dotted the hillside with a green that was almost luminous, but the olive trees were the same ghostly grey as the fog.

A few people were already astir in the first village they passed through, and when they reached the piazza in Pontino higher up a huddled group stood within the light and warmth of the doorway of the Bar Italia waiting for the first bus down to Florence. The baker and the newsagent were open and there was a light on in the Carabinieri station that stood between them. An anxious young face disappeared from the window as their car drew up and parked under the dripping trees, but it was the Brigadier himself who appeared at the door to meet them. He looked harassed and he was. He hadn't expected this precipitate visit and in the last hour he had bawled out everyone in sight. Whoever had washed up last night hadn't cleaned the cooker, there was no light-bulb in the one cell in the basement and someone had had to be dispatched to wake up the ironmonger because nobody could find a spare. The coffee made by that blasted mother's boy Sartini had been like water as usual and the Brigadier himself hadn't had time to go home and shave. One of his men had been foolish enough to point out that the Company Captain was unlikely to want to use the cooker and that there hadn't been anybody in that cell in all the eight years he'd been there. The Brigadier had still been bawling him out when Sartini had spotted the car.

&bquo;Captain.&equo; The Brigadier saluted the Substitute and Captain and the young lieutenant, and stepped back to let them in. The driver waited in the car. &bquo;I'm afraid everything's not as I would like it to be here — you know, of course that we've been without a Marshal for two months now — not that I can't cope after twenty years service in this village, but even so —&equo;

&bquo;Twenty years … then you know this area inside out.&equo;

&bquo;Every blade of grass. That's not what I — &equo;

&bquo;Good. The girl? Is she conscious?&equo; The Captain sat down in the Brigadier's chair where the girl's effects were neatly folded and labelled. He immediately took up and unfolded the piece of lined paper. The Substitute had refused the chair offered to him, choosing instead to wander about the room, taking brief puffs on his cigar and regarding everything and everyone with an amused detachment that gave the impression of his being mildly surprised but pleased at having to perform the office of Public Prosecutor. He settled by the window and stared across at the red brick Communist club beyond the budding trees.

&bquo;She's in the cottage hospital, still unconscious as far as I know — I've left one of my boys there in case she comes to, but she's running a high temperature and they're afraid of bronchial pneumonia. We've no way of knowing how long she was out in that rain. She's wounded, too, in one leg, but she can't be moved down to Florence until twenty-four hours have passed because she cracked her head when she fell and there could be concussion.&equo;

&bquo;Lieutenant.&equo; The Captain passed the note up to the young officer standing stiffly just inside the door. The Captain's own English was passable but the younger man's was fluent. He read the letter aloud:

Dear Daddy, They've kidnapped me. Please help me. They will send a message to the Consulate. You have to help me, Daddy, I need you.

Debbie

The Captain stared before him in silence for some time. &bquo;That's all there is, sir.&equo; The young Lieutenant handed back the letter. The Captain took it and looked at it, still without speaking. Finally he said: &bquo;Thank you. Go over to the hospital and relieve the local man. Sit by this other girl's bed. Her name,&equo; he picked up the Brigadier's report from beside the telephone, &bquo;is Katrine, Katrine … If she comes round, talk to her. Write down anything that she says, even in her sleep or in fever. You'll have to stay even through the night, if necessary. We don't know what nationality she is but since her Italian is poor it's likely that she spoke English with her American friend. Get over there immediately. Can you spare a man, Brigadier, to show him the way?&equo;

&bquo;Yessir. Sartini!&equo; The Brigadier went off in search of &bquo;that blasted mother's boy&equo;, pleased with the thought of being rid of him, even for twenty minutes.

The Substitute had turned from the window and was watching the Captain curiously. A typewriter was clacking disjointedly in the next room.

&bquo;Something odd?&equo;

&bquo;It seems so. But then, it's too early to judge. We'll go on with routine procedure for now.&equo;

&bquo;Which is?&equo;

&bquo;Dog-handlers will be here shortly. With the girl's clothes we should be able to trace her back at least to the point at which she was dropped during the night — or I hope so, after all that rain. In the meantime, the helicopters will patrol the surrounding area, especially where there are empty farmhouses or huts — &bquo;Isn't it possible, though, that the other girl could be a hundred kilometres from here and that this one was dumped here to put you off the scent?&equo;

&bquo;It's more than possible, it's probable, but until we know where else to look we'll look here. The real search can't begin until we find out what sort of kidnappers we're dealing with. For the moment — for all we know — they could be a couple of amateurs from this village who've got the girl hidden ten minutes from here. So we search here. And at least we'll find the girls' car because according to what one can make out of her statement, they were removed from it somewhere on the road between here and Taverna yesterday morning …&equo;

Filename: HThief Date: 1992 Title: The Holy Thief Author: Ellis Peters B Master James of Betton C Roger E Hugh G Abbot Radulfus H Prior Robert J Cadfael K Martin L Nicol M young Payne N "one of the brothers" O Herluin P Tutilo U the carters W the men who were attacked X unknown Y "all of them" Z the bandits
Chapter Four

WE DID well enough,&equo; said Master James of Betton, in the abbot's panelled parlour an hour later, &bquo;until we came into the forest there, beyond Eaton. It's thick woodland there south of Leicester, but well managed, as the roads go these days. And we had five good lads aboard, we never thought to run into any trouble we couldn't handle. A couple of wretches on the run, skulking in the bushes on the lookout for prey, would never have dared break cover and try their luck with us. No, these were very different gentry. Eleven or twelve of them, with daggers and bludgeons, and two wore swords. They must have been moving alongside us in cover, taking our measure, and they had two archers ahead, one either side the track. Someone whistled them out when we came to the narrowest place, bows strung and shafts fitted, shouting to us to halt. Roger from Ramsey was driving, and a good enough hand with horses and wagons, but what chance did he have with the pair of them drawing on him? He says he did think of whipping up and running them down, but it would have been useless, they could shoot far faster than we could drive at them. And then they came at us from both sides.&equo;

&bquo;I thank God,&equo; said Abbot Radulfus fervently, &bquo;that you live to tell it. And all, you say, all your fellows are well alive? The loss is reparable, but your lives are greater worth.&equo;

&bquo;Father,&equo; said Master James, &bquo;there's none of us but bears the marks of it. We did not let them put us down easily. There's Martin here was clubbed senseless and slung into the bushes. And Roger laid about him with his whip, and left the print of it on two of the rogues before they downed him and used the thong to bind him. But we were five against double as many, and armed villains very willing to kill. They wanted the horses most, we saw but three they already had with them, the rest forced to go afoot, and the wagon was welcome, too, they had one, I think, already wounded. They beat and drove us aside, and off with team and wagon at high speed into the forest by a track that turned southwards. All the load, clean gone. And when I ran after, and young Payne on my heels, they loosed a shaft at us that clipped my shoulder — you see the tear. We had no choice but to draw off, and go and pick up Martin and Roger. Nicol gave as good an account of himself as any of us, elder though he may be, and kept the key of the coffer safe, but they threw him off the cart, and coffer and all are gone, for it was there among the coppice wood. What more could we have done? We never looked to encounter an armed company in the forest, and so close to Leicester.&equo;

&bquo;You did all that could be expected of any man,&equo; said the abbot firmly. &bquo;I am only sorry you ever were put to it, and glad out of all measure that you came out of it without worse harm. Rest here a day or two and let your hurts be tended before you return to your homes. I marvel who these wretches could be, moving in such numbers, and so heavily armed. Of what appearance were they — beggarly and mean, or savage with less excuse for savagery?&equo;

&bquo;Father,&equo; said Master James earnestly, &bquo;I never before saw poor devils living wild wearing good leather jerkins and solid boots, and daggers fit for a baron's guard.&equo;

&bquo;And they made off southerly?&equo; asked Cadfael, pondering this militant company so well found in everything but horses.

&bquo;Southwest,&equo; amended the young man Martin. &bquo;And in a mortal hurry by all the signs.&equo;

&bquo;In a hurry to get out of the earl of Leicester's reach,&equo; Cadfael hazarded. &bquo;They'd get short shrift from him if he once laid hands on them. I wonder if these were not some of the horde Geoffrey de Mandeville collected about him, looking for safer pastures to settle in, now the king is master of the Fens again? They'll be scattering in all directions still, and hunted everywhere. In Leicester's lands they certainly would not want to linger. &equo;

That raised a murmur of agreement from them all. No sane malefactor would want to settle and conduct his predatory business in territory controlled by so active and powerful a magnate as Robert Beaumont, earl of Leicester. He was the younger of the twin Beaumont brothers, sons of the elder Robert who had been one of the most reliable props of old King Henry's firm rule, and they in their turn had been as staunch in support of King Stephen. The father had died in possession of the earldom of Leicester in England, Beaumont, Brionne and Pontaudemer in Normandy, and the county of Meulan in France, and on his death the elder twin Waleran inherited the Norman and French lands, the younger Robert the English title and honour.

&bquo;He is certainly not the man to tolerate thieves and bandits in his lands,&equo; said the abbot. &bquo;He may yet take these thieves before they can escape his writ. Something may yet be recovered. More to the purpose at this moment, what has become of your companions, Master James? You say all of them are living. Where are they now?&equo;

&bquo;Why, my lord, when we were left alone — and I think if they had not been in such haste to move on they would not have left a man of us alive to tell the tale — we first tended the worst hurt, and took counsel, and decided we must take the news on to Ramsey, and also back here to Shrewsbury. And Nicol, knowing that by then Sub-Prior Herluin would be in Worcester, said that he would make his way there and tell him what had befallen us. Roger was to make his way home to Ramsey, and young Payne chose to go on there with him, as he had said he would. Martin here would have done as much, but that I was none too secure on my feet, and he would not let me undertake the journey home alone. And here at home I mean to stay, for I've lost my taste for travelling, after that mêlée, I can tell you.&equo;

&bquo;No blame to you,&equo; agreed the abbot wryly. &bquo;So by this time this news of yours should also have reached both Ramsey and Worcester, if there have been no further ambushes on the way, as God forbid! And Hugh Beringar may already be in Worcester, and will know what has happened. If anything can be done to trace our cart and the hired horses, well! If not, at least the most precious lading, the lives of five men, come out of it safely, God be thanked!&equo;

Thus far Cadfael had deferred his own news in favour of the far more urgent word brought back by these battered survivors from the forests of Leicestershire. Now he thought fit to put in a word. &bquo;Father Abbot, I'm back from Longner without much gained, for neither of the young men who brought down the timber has anything of note to tell. But still I feel that one more thing of immense value must have been taken away with that wagon. I see no other way by which Saint Winifred's reliquary can have left the enclave.&equo;

The abbot gave him a long, penetrating look, and concluded at length: &bquo;You are in solemn earnest. And indeed I see the force of what you say. You have spoken now with everyone who took part in that evening's work?&equo;

&bquo;No, Father, there's yet one more to be seen, a young man from a neighbouring hamlet who came down to help the carters. But them I have seen, and they do say that this third man was called back into the church by one of the brothers, at the end of the evening, for some last purpose, after which the brother came out with him to thank them all, and bid them goodnight. They did not see anything being stowed on the wagon for Ramsey. But they were busy and not paying attention except to their own work. It's a vague enough notion, that something unauthorized was then loaded under cover of the dark. But I entertain it because I see no other.&equo;

&bquo;And you will pursue it?&equo; said the abbot.

&bquo;I will go again, and find this young man Aldhelm, if you approve.&equo;

&bquo;We must,&equo; said Radulfus. &bquo; One of the brothers, you say, called back the young man, and came out afterwards with him. Could they name him?&equo;

&bquo;No, nor would they be able to know him again. It was dark, he was cowled against the rain. And most likely, wholly innocent. But I'll go the last step of the way, and ask the last man.&equo;

&bquo;We must do what can be done,&equo; said Radulfus heavily, &bquo;to recover what has been lost. If we fail, we fail. But try we must.&equo; And to the two returned travellers: &bquo;Precisely where did this ambush take place?&equo;

&bquo;Close by a village called Ullesthorpe, a few miles from Leicester,&equo; said Master James of Betton.

The two of them were drooping by then, in reaction from their long and laborious walk home, and sleepy from the wine mulled for them with their supper. Radulfus knew when to close the conference.

&bquo;Go to your well-earned rest now, and leave all to God and the saints, who have not turned away their faces from us. &equo;

If Hugh and Prior Robert had not been well mounted, and the elderly but resolute former steward of Ramsey forced to go afoot, they could not have arrived at the cathedral priory of Worcester within a day of each other. Nicol, since the disastrous encounter near Ullesthorpe, had had five days to make his way lamely across country to reach Sub-Prior Herluin and make his report. He was a stout-hearted, even an obstinate man, not to be deterred by a few bruises, and not to surrender his charge without a struggle. If pursuit was possible, Nicol intended to demand it of whatever authority held the writ in these parts.

Hugh and Prior Robert had arrived at the priory late in the evening, paid their respects to the prior, attended Vespers to do reverence to the saints of the foundation, Saints Oswald and Wulstan, and taken Herluin and his attendants into their confidence about the loss, or at the very least the misplacement, of Saint Winifred's reliquary; with a sharp eye, at least on Hugh's part, for the way the news was received. But he could find no fault with Herluin's reaction, which displayed natural dismay and concern, but not to excess. Too much exclaiming and protesting would have aroused a degree of doubt as to his sincerity, but Herluin clearly felt that here was nothing worse than some confused stupidity among too many helpers in too much panic and haste, and what was lost would be found as soon as everyone calmed down and halted the hunt for a while to take thought. It was impressive, too, that he instantly stated his intention of returning at once to Shrewsbury, to help to clarify the confusion, though he seemed to be relying on his natural authority and leadership to produce order out of chaos, rather than having anything practical in mind. He himself had nothing to contribute. He had taken no part in the hurried labours within the church, but had held himself aloof with dignity in the abbot's lodging, which was still high and dry. No, he knew nothing of who had salvaged Saint Winifred. His last sight of her reliquary had been at morning Mass.

Tutilo, awed and mute, shook his head, still in its aureole of unshorn curls, and opened his amber eyes wide at hearing the disturbing news. Given leave to speak, he said he had gone into the church to help, and had simply obeyed such orders as were given to him, and he knew nothing of where the saint's coffin might be at this moment.

&bquo;This must not go by default,&equo; pronounced Herluin at his most majestic. &bquo;Tomorrow we will ride back with you to Shrewsbury. She cannot be far. She must be found.&equo;

&bquo;After Mass tomorrow,&equo; said Prior Robert, firmly reasserting his own leadership as representing Shrewsbury, &bquo;we will set out.&equo;

And so they would have done, but for the coming of Nicol.

Date: 1982 Title: LACE Author: Shirley Conran B Kate C Toby G Judy J "a psychotherapist" K the psychiatrist X unknown
37

KATE still faked. Not always, because she could climax with very little trouble if she lay on top for long enough and wriggled herself into position, but that didn't always seem to happen and when it didn't, if Kate couldn't sleep, she would nip into the bathroom and quickly satisfy herself.

But after she and Toby had been married for six years, something horrible happened — and continued to happen for some time.

On a hot August night, Kate lay in bed reading a newspaper account of Marilyn Monroe's sad, tawdry death. &bquo;Oh, dear, she was so lovable and funny.&equo; Two teardrops of sympathy wobbled on her lashes and caught Toby's attention.

&bquo;She was beautiful, too … What long eyelashes you have, Kate.&equo;

&bquo;Yes Toby, but colourless. If I didn't wear mascara, you wouldn't be able to see them.&equo;

&bquo;Would my eyelashes be longer if I put mascara on them?&equo;

&bquo;I expect so … darling, it says here that poor Marilyn's feet were dirty and the scarlet polish on her toes was chipped. Oh, how sad!&equo;

Toby disappeared into the bathroom and emerged about ten minutes later. Casually, Kate looked up, then did a horrified double take. &bquo;Toby!&equo; Toby was crudely and completely made-up, like a raddled old dim-eyed dowager.

Kate said, &bquo;Oh, do take it off, Toby!&equo;

But Toby smiled oddly, looked at her steadily and said, in a disturbing, high, brittle voice (a bit like Pagan's mother), &bquo;No, I want to make love like this.&equo;

So they did.

She didn't mention it the next day, but that evening Toby, having had rather a lot of brandy after the quiche aux épinards, said sarcastically, &bquo;I don't think spinach tart is one of your stronger points, darling,&equo; and proceeded upstairs.

When Kate went up to bed with indefinable fear in her heart, she found him lying on their Astrid Sampe turquoise-striped bedspread simpering at the ceiling. His face was fully made-up and he was wearing her fragile, white lace nightgown.

She said, &bquo;Now come off it, Toby, I've had enough of this. Please stop it. Please cut it out.&equo;

But Toby sat up, pouted and said in an odd, little-girl voice. &bquo;Why can't Toby have nice things like you do?&equo; He pulled her on to the bed beside him and murmured, &bquo;Tobyloves looking pretty, Toby loves dressing up like this, but promise it's a secret between us, between two girl friends? A very important secret.&equo;

He didn't take long. It was all over in ten minutes, but it took Kate twenty-four hours to pull herself together again.

And then it happened again, and Kate had another twenty-four hours of the shakes. Inexorably, night after night, Toby &bquo;dressed-up&equo;, as he put it.

Within a fortnight, Kate was white and taut from lack of sleep and anxiety, but Toby was blooming. On the following Wednesday he came back from Harrods with a size 48 sheer black swans-down-trimmed négligé and matching décolleté nightgown.

&bquo;I told the assistant it was for my mother,&equo; he said, smoothing it over his lean hips. On Friday night he lashed himself into black garters and fishnet stockings and a frilly black padded bra that he'd bought on Shaftesbury Avenue. On Saturday evening he wore a red satin, wasp-waisted corselet and high-heeled pink pom-pom mules. (&bquo;They didn't have my shoe size at Harrods, so I got these backless things, but they're still too small.&equo;)

Kate found the situation as macabre and unreal as her father's funeral. The rouged cheeks, ever so carefully shaded peach, seemed to symbolize death. And once again — she was bewildered; what Kate couldn't understand was the suddenness of Toby's transformation. He had never given her the slightest hint, had always been so severely practical. He had never so much as worn a frilled shirt to a party, never indicated in any way that he preferred his balls veiled by lace, never by word or deed indicated that he was not a normal heterosexual. Kate had never for one moment suspected that what Toby really wanted in bed was this gruesome farce. One week she had had a husband and the next week she had this horror.

She could not understand what was in his mind, could not understand his odd, trancelike state when he was wearing women's clothes. What made it even more confusing was that Toby wore two sorts of female clothing, he seemed to want to pretend to be two different types of women, so poor Kate never knew from one night to the next whether she would find herself in bed with a 1930s lascivious, black-satin, sophisticated woman-of-the-world, or a demure, white-pantied, schoolgirl virgin. When Toby wore stockings and high heels his muscular, stringy calves somehow stuck out sideways below the knees, oddly bandy, not like a woman's but, yes, they were like one woman's legs. That night Kate had the nightmarish sensation that the person panting on top of her was her mother-in-law, Major Hartley-Harrington's widow.

Toby refused to discuss the situation, and during the day he seemed to be a different person — that is to say, his normal self. But at night he couldn't wait to get upstairs, sometimes dragging Kate by the wrists in a steel grip. His eyes glittered strangely in his masklike makeup: Kate thought he looked like a novelette villain. &bquo;You've been reading too much Barbara Cartland,&equo; she told herself. But there was no other way to describe that relentless, breathlessly excited, glassy-eyed expression on Toby's face. Kate didn't understand what was happening and she didn't know what to do.

What had she done wrong? Why had this terrible thing happened so suddenly? Was Toby homosexual? If so, why did he make love to her? Why should she be so frightened of him if he was turning into a homosexual? Lots of their friends were queer and they didn't terrify her as Toby now did. What was terrifying wasn't the makeup or the drag, the padded lace bras, that monstrous red satin corselet or the way he tried to strap his balls away between his legs (no wonder when he wore high heels he walked so oddly). No, what was so chilling was Toby's mincing, simpering, obviously totally sincere mimicry of what he thought a woman was — deep down — really like. It was a travesty, an insult to her sex, and that was what Kate, who had never heard the word &bquo;transvestite&equo;, found so shocking.

She forced a scene and Toby threatened to leave.

Kate gave way.

She forced another scene and Toby gently reminded her that she was a thirty-year-old barren bitch, and would she shut the fuck up. &bquo;Oh, aim so sorry, dahling, don't cray, let's kiss and make up, hmmmm? Just a teensy little kiss,&equo; he said. And he bent over her and lifted her chin up to his heavily lipsticked mouth. Every pore on his face seemed magnified, as Mrs Trelawney's scalp had been magnified, as the black wiry hair had sprung from her white scalp on that horrible bathroom evening when Kate was still a schoolgirl. Now she saw in similar, horrid, clarified detail the magenta grease that smeared the fleshy cracks in Toby's mouth and clogged the shaven bristles on his upper lip. He still wasn't very good at putting on lipstick.

As her anguish and shame increased, she still hoped every evening that it wouldn't happen that night, that Toby's fixation would disappear as swiftly as it had arrived. Kate longed to confide in someone, to have Toby's behaviour explained away, to be reassured, to hear that everybody did it, that such things were part of a normal phase of a man's development. But she knew they weren't, and there was nobody to whom she felt she could unburden her embarrassing story.

When she suggested talking to their doctor, Toby went white and glared at her, compressed his magenta lips, then sprang at her and twisted her arm behind her back until she feared he was going to dislocate it. Then he violently shoved her down the small flight of stairs that led off their bedroom to the bathroom. Sprawled on the floor with Toby straddled over her in his black fishnets, hands on hips and eyes blazing, Kate promised that she wouldn't tell their doctor or anyone else. Anyway, who would believe her? she wondered hopelessly as she gazed up at lust in action.

&bquo;If you do,&equo; said Toby coldly, in his normal, masculine voice, &bquo;I shall simply deny it. There's nothing to prove these clothes are worn by me; after all, they're in your bureau.&equo; He heaved pleasurably at the black lace of his corset. He needs a shrink, Kate thought, but she knew she would never dare suggest it.

But she also knew she couldn't stand it. She had to get away from London, away from Toby. Increasingly, Kate felt depressed by Toby's sexual behaviour, which disgusted and bewildered her. She hadn't mentioned it to Pagan at the cottage because Pagan obviously had too many problems of her own to cope with, but when Pagan returned from her honeymoon with glowing descriptions of New York (despite the ordeal of Christopher's heart attack) and an invitation from Judy, Kate decided to go and spend a month there. She wanted to run away and forget her misery for a few weeks.

During the war, when Kate was seven, she had found an orange in her Christmas stocking when nobody in Britain had seen oranges for years. Her father had bought it for a vast sum from a sailor in a pub. Kate could hardly remember what an orange was; like bananas and ice cream, they no longer existed. But obviously Santa Claus did. She'd been having doubts, but the orange proved it. Carefully she sniffed the fruit, dug her nails in the skin, peeled it in one long length; then she took a whole day to eat it, sucking each segment carefully, savouring the fragrant juice that spurted into her mouth. After that she nibbled all the peel and made it last for a week.

To Kate, New York wasn't the Big Apple, it was the Wonderful Orange. She knew London, Paris and Cairo and had expected New York to be another, similar, big city. But New York was like nothing she'd ever imagined. Out of her bedroom window she blew kisses to the city like a child.

Judy made a great fuss over her, gave a party for her, spoiled her, told everybody how wonderful Kate was and suddenly she came to life again. The glittering sparkle and excitement of the city simultaneously soothed and exhilarated her. It was like that shot in the arm they'd given her in the hospital, it made her feel that she could do anything — and made her want to do something.

The night before Kate left for London, she decided to tell Judy about Toby's dressing-up. She told Judy the whole story, finally finishing by yelling at her, &bquo;I can't stand it much longer, so what can I do?&equo;

After a moment of silence, Kate started crying.

&bquo;D'you still do that? Still cry all the time?&equo; asked Judy absentmindedly, as she thought hard.

&bquo;It's a fu… fu… fu… form of self-expression. I lu… lu… like crying. It lets people know how I feel and it makes me feel better.&equo;

&bquo;Well, kiddo, get your crying finished and then concentrate. Because I think you should head straight for a psychotherapist when you get back to London.&equo;

&bquo;You think there's something wrong with me?&equo;

&bquo;No, relax! I merely think that you should discuss the situation with someone who knows what he's talking about. Because you don't, and I don't, and it doesn't sound as if Toby does.&equo;

So when Kate returned to London she visited a psychiatrist in Harley Street. He sat with his hands on his chin in a sage velvet wing chair on one side of the fireplace, while she sat on the other, reporting to him twice a week. The doctor first established that Kate had clearly told Toby she hated the &bquo;dressing-up&equo;, then suggested that she do so again. Once more Kate hit the bathroom floor. The doctor wrote to Toby and asked to see him about &bquo;a matter that is gravely disturbing your wife&equo;.

Toby flew into a rage as soon as he opened the letter. &bquo;You've told him our secret. I know you have. I thought we agreed that it was going to be a secret?&equo;

&bquo;It's not my secret — it's your secret,&equo; Kate shouted.

Filename: .DDceit Date: (Not given) Title: Daughter of Deceit Author: Victoria Holt Sample: Beginning pp. 7–86 B Noelle (first person narrator) C Roderick Claverham G mother J Janet Dare K Dolly L Lisa Fennell M Robert Bouchère Y the audience Z some of the audience
The Understudy

I had seen Roderick Claverham on one or two occasions. The meetings were never planned. They took place on matinée days.

I would stroll out shortly after my mother had left and he would be waiting for me in the street. There was always an element of excitement because I would be wondering whether he would be there.

I was almost sure that he would be, all the same.

I think we liked it that way because both of us had a feeling that the meetings should be something of a secret, in view of the relationship between our parents.

However, I enjoyed the meetings very much. We walked a good deal: we had tea in our little teashop, and then he took me to the theatre where I would join my mother and come home in the carriage with Martha and Lisa.

We sometimes walked down Piccadilly to Green Park. There we would sit and watch people as they strolled by.

I had learned a certain amount about his home — enough to give me a fairly clear picture of it. I heard about the interesting people who had visited Leverson Manor since the discovery of the Roman remains. And, of course, I talked about myself.

I knew this was an intermediary period. We could not go on meeting like this. In a way it seemed almost furtive, for I said nothing to my mother of our acquaintance, which was extremely odd, for up to this time I had always been completely open with her. And I guessed he had said nothing to his father.

I was right when I told myself that it could not last like that. I wanted him to come and meet my mother: he wanted me to visit his home in Kent. I had a longing to do so, and a burning curiosity to see Lady Constance even more than the Roman remains.

It was Tuesday and my mother was spending the afternoon with her dressmaker. She wanted some new clothes for the show. She thought it needed brightening up a little.

I had told Roderick that I should be free on that particular day and he had immediately said we must meet.

We made our way to Green Park and as we were sitting there Roderick suddenly said: &bquo;What are we going to do, Noelle?&equo;

&bquo;Do?&equo;

&bquo;I mean, how much longer are we going on meeting like this? You haven't told your mother, have you? I haven't mentioned our meetings to my father. It seems odd. Why do we do it?&equo;

&bquo;I think we both feel it might be a little embarrassing for them.&equo;

&bquo;Yes. I think it would be for my father.&equo;

&bquo;I suppose my mother is not so easily embarrassed. She would think it was quite normal. I really don't know what to say about it.&equo;

&bquo;Well, we have avoided mentioning it. It's absurd really. It is not our affair.&equo;

&bquo;It is just that your mother knows nothing about this — friendship between your father and my mother, and if she did, of course, she would not approve.&equo;

&bquo; I am sure she would not, and my father would not wish her to know.&equo;

&bquo;And because of that, you and I are caught up in this secrecy.&equo;

&bquo;I should like to call openly at your house. I want you to visit Leverson. After all, we are very good friends. At least I hope we are.&equo;

&bquo;I hope so, too.&equo;

&bquo;Well, with two of us hoping, it must be. What are we going to do about it, Noelle?&equo;

&bquo;I really don't know.&equo;

&bquo;You see, you and I … well … &bquo;

&bquo;Why, Noelle!&equo;

I was startled. Lisa Fennell was coming towards us. I felt myself flushing. Her bright curious eyes were on Roderick.

I said: &bquo;Let me introduce you. This is Mr Roderick Claverham, Mr Charlie Claverham's son.&equo;

&bquo;Oh! How nice to meet you.&equo;

&bquo;And this is Lisa Fennell. She is in the show —Countess Maud, you know.&equo;

&bquo;I was taking the air,&equo; she said. &bquo;Trying to get relaxed for the evening's show. It's a lovely day, isn't it? I love the parks in London. May I sit down with you?&equo;

&bquo;Please do,&equo; said Roderick.

She took her place on the other side of him.

&bquo;I don't think I've seen you at the house,&equo; said Lisa.

&bquo;No,&equo; replied Roderick. &bquo;I did come once. That was a little time ago.&equo;

&bquo;I think it was before you joined us, Lisa,&equo; I said.

&bquo;Has Noelle told you how I came?&equo;

&bquo;Yes. She did mention it.&equo;

&bquo;Wasn't it wonderful? Like a fairy story. I was almost killed, you know.&equo;

&bquo;The carriage wasn't going very fast,&equo; I said.

&bquo;And it all started from that. Désirée — the famous actress — has been so good to me.&equo; Her voice shook a little. &bquo;She is the most wonderful person in the world.&equo;

&bquo;Yes. I have heard that she is very kind.&equo;

&bquo;Do you live in London?&equo;

&bquo;My home is in the country, but we have a small house in London. It's very useful for my father who needs to be here quite often on business. It's very convenient.&equo;

&bquo;I'm sure it must be. I love London. So ancient … and modern at the same time. What a combination! Don't you think that is fascinating?&equo;

Roderick said he did.

&bquo;Mr Claverham has something very ancient in his own home,&equo; I told Lisa. &bquo;They have found remains of a Roman settlement on the land.&equo;

&bquo;How wonderful!&equo; cried Lisa. She turned to Roderick. &bquo;Do tell me about it.&equo;

I listened, vaguely thinking of what Roderick was saying when she interrupted us. It had seemed important. What a pity she had had to come along at that moment.

She was listening to him, urging him to tell her more — completely unaware that her intrusion had spoilt our tête-á-tête. Roderick was too polite to show the disappointment I felt sure he shared with me.

Eventually I said: &bquo;Well, I must go back.&equo;

&bquo;And so must I,&equo; echoed Lisa. &bquo;I had no idea it was so late.&equo;

&bquo;Let's go, then,&equo; I said.

We went back to the house together: Roderick said goodbye and left us.

&bquo;What a charming young man!&equo; said Lisa as we went in. Her eyes shone with pleasure. &bquo;Fancy Charlie's having a son like that and keeping him hidden!&equo;

My mother returned soon afterwards. She had had a rewarding session with the dressmaker and wanted to tell me about it. She was changing the blue dress in the first act to one of deep mauve and the one in the last act was to be red.

&bquo;Those colours stand out more. Besides, it will give the show a new look. And it will be good for us all. We're getting a bit rusty. What do you think? I called on Janet Dare. Poor dear! She's going out of her wits. She is just longing to be back. If it has anything to do with her, she won't be off much longer.&equo;

I thought I should tell my mother that I had met Roderick. Lisa might mention that she had seen him and it would appear strange that I had not talked of it.

When we were alone I said, trying to appear casual: &bquo;By the way, do you remember Roderick Claverham … Charlie's son? He came here once.&equo;

&bquo;Oh yes, of course. What a nice young man!&equo;

&bquo;I've seen him once or twice. I happened to run into him.&equo;

&bquo;Did you? How interesting.&equo;

&bquo;As a matter of fact, I was with him today. Lisa was with us.&equo;

&bquo;Oh, Lisa. I was just thinking of her — having been with Janet Dare of course. She is so thrilled to have that job in the chorus … and the understudy.&equo;

&bquo; She's eternally grateful to you. After all, you fixed it for her, didn't you?&equo;

&bquo;I couldn't have done anything if she hadn't had the talent.&equo;

&bquo;She tries to be exactly like you.&equo;

&bquo; She's thinking of playing Countess Maud, that's why. God forbid, she might have to one day. My goodness, her nose is going to be put a little out of joint when Janet comes back. The poor child fancies herself as understudy.&equo;

I was thinking I need not have any qualms about seeing Roderick. My mother was not greatly interested, nor was she in the least perturbed about her relationship with Charlie.

A few days later Jane came to my room and told me that my mother wanted to see me and would I go to her at once.

&bquo;Is anything wrong, Jane?&equo; I asked.

&bquo;She don't look too well, Miss Noelle.&equo;

I hurried to her room, and was immediately filled with alarm. She looked most unlike her usual self.

&bquo;I've been so ill,&equo; she said. &bquo;It could have been the fish I had last night. But it was immediately after lunch that it started. I feel dizzy as well as sick.&equo;

&bquo;Why don't you lie down?&equo;

&bquo;I've been lying down. What's so awful is that I don't think I can go on tonight.&equo;

&bquo;You certainly can't if you are like you are now. I think I ought to call Dr Green.&equo;

&bquo;Oh no. That's not necessary. It's just something I've eaten. It will pass in time. I think you'd better get a message to Dolly, though … just in case it's necessary … which it may not be … but we must be prepared.&equo;

&bquo;Thomas can go right away,&equo; I said.

In half an hour Dolly was at the house in a state of great agitation.

&bquo;What's happened? Eaten something? Oh, Almighty God, what have I done to deserve this?&equo;

&bquo;I should cut out the dramatics, Dolly. It's not the time for them. If I can't go on tonight we've got to do the obvious … and we ought to be busy with it right away … just in case it's necessary … which it may not be, but we have to be ready. Lisa will have to take my place.&equo;

&bquo;That amateur!&equo;

&bquo;She's not an amateur. She's not bad actually. You yourself have said so, though it was like getting blood out of a stone to make you admit it.&equo;

&bquo; You talk as though this is of no importance. Let me tell you, it's a disaster … a calamity. I've got to placate all those people who have paid to see Désirée, not some little amateur from the country.&equo;

&bquo;Anyone would think it was the first time you'd had to put in an understudy. It's nothing. Shut off the histrionics and bring out the common sense. You've got to get busy, Dolly. Of course, I might be all right. There are a few hours to go. But at the moment … &bquo;

&bquo;Is that girl here?&equo; asked Dolly.

&bquo;Yes,&equo; I told him. &bquo;Shall I tell her to come down?&equo;

&bquo;Right away.&equo;

I went to Lisa's room. She looked up expectantly.

&bquo;My mother's not well,&equo; I said. &bquo;She's been terribly sick and she's giddy. Dolly's here. She thinks she might not be able to go on tonight.&equo;

She stared at me. She was trying to hide the elation, but I could see it there. Naturally it would be. I understood.

&bquo;Is she … very bad?&equo;

&bquo;No. It's only a bilious attack. She's lying down. She feels dizzy when she stands up. I can't believe she'll be fit to go on tonight. You're to come down at once. Dolly's pacing up and down like an animal in a cage, and my mother is trying to soothe him.&equo;

&bquo;He'll be furious.&equo;

&bquo;Well, you know Dolly.&equo;

&bquo;He won't trust me to do it.&equo;

&bquo;He must,&equo; I answered her. &bquo; He wouldn't have given you the job in the first place if he didn't believe you could do it in an emergency.&equo;

&bquo;And your poor mother. How awful!&equo;

&bquo;I don't think it is anything much. She says she's probably eaten something which did not agree with her. You'd better hurry. The longer you keep Dolly waiting, the more incensed he'll be.&equo;

She hurried down and I went to my room.

This could be Lisa's chance. It was only natural that that thought should be uppermost in her mind.

My mother was feeling a little better but not well enough to go on that night. I wanted to stay with her but she said I ought to go to the theatre to cheer Lisa on.

&bquo;Poor girl. I know what she is going through. She's got strong nerves, though. I will say that for her. And she'll need them tonight.&equo;

&bquo;She's very earnest about it all.&equo;

&bquo;Quite right. You need earnestness and all you've got to succeed in this profession, I can assure you. She shouldn't be too confident, though, and I don't think she is. She's got to have that awful feeling that she's going to lose her top notes and fall flat on her face instead of into her bridegroom's arms. It's got to be a mixture of fear and confidence … and that's not easy to come by. Don't I know it! But this is a chance for her. If she does well, she'll be in Dolly's good books. If she fails … it could be the chorus for the rest of her life. Let's wish her well. She knows the songs, she knows the dances. The tricky bit is that twist at the end of the first act. Once or twice I've nearly bungled it.&equo;

So I went to the theatre and I sat, trembling for her.

The curtain was about to go up. I surveyed the audience from the box I was sharing with Robert Bouchère. Just for those few minutes we were the only ones in the audience who knew what was to come.

Dolly lifted the curtain and stood before us.

&bquo;Ladies and gentlemen, it is with great regret that I have to tell you that Désirée is indisposed and cannot be with you tonight.&equo;

There was a gasp which rippled through the stalls, to the upper circle and gallery. I looked about me apprehensively. These people had paid to see Désirée.

&bquo;I have been in Désirée's company just before coming to the theatre,&equo; went on Dolly. &bquo; She is desolate because she has to disappoint you. She begged me to ask you to forgive her and she particularly asks you, her dear public, to give Lisa Fennell a chance to show you what she can do. Désirée has absolute faith in Lisa and I am sure that, after tonight's performance, you will share that faith. I know how you all love Désirée, but you would not want her here when she should be in bed. She sends her love to you all. She is missing you as you are missing her. But she fervently hopes that you will give Lisa a chance and that you will not be disappointed.&equo;

The curtain was up. The opening chorus had begun and there was Lisa giving a fair imitation of Désirée in &bquo;Can I help you, Madam?&equo;

It was a good performance I followed her every movement, watching for pitfalls, like the twirl at the end of the first act. The audience applauded. Some of them must have realized what an ordeal the poor girl was going through, and they had set aside their disappointment in not seeing Désirée and were giving encouragement to the beginner.

I said to Robert: &bquo;It's going to be all right, isn't it?&equo;

&bquo;She is so like … &equo; he said. &bquo;She copy, yes? It is like seeing a shadow of Désirée, you understand?&equo;

&bquo;I see what you mean,&equo; I replied. &bquo;But I think the audience are not displeased.&equo;

&bquo;Oh no, no. But they do not forget they pay to see Désirée. It is a pity for Lisa that it is Désirée she must follow. If it were some other, someone not so — how shall we say? — so much herself, so distinguished, it would be better. She is good, this girl, but she is not Désirée.&equo;

I saw what he meant. She had modelled herself too closely on Désirée, submerging her own personality into achieving it. If she had tried to present herself and not a pale shadow of Désirée she would have made more impact. As it was, she was Désirée without that inimitable charm, that overpowering charisma.

Filename: ThEdge Date: (Not given) Title: THE EDGE Author: DICK FRANCIS B first person narrator C Nell G Bambi K the barman O Emil Y Mrs Young Z Xanthe

By virtue of having paid double and possibly treble, Filmer had a double bedroom all to himself. Only the lower bunk had been prepared for the night; the upper was still in the ceiling.

For all that he could be expected to stay in the Lorrimores' car for at least fifteen more minutes, I felt decidedly jittery, and I left the door open so that if he did come back unexpectedly I could say I was merely checking that everything was in order. My uniform had multiple advantages.

The bedrooms were small, as one would expect, though in the daytime, with the beds folded away, there was comfortable space. There was a washbasin in full view, with the rest of the plumbing in a discreet little closet. For hanging clothes there was a slot behind the bedheads of about eight inches wide, enough in Filmer's case for two suits. Another two jackets hung on hangers on pegs on the wall.

I searched quickly through all the pockets, but they were mostly empty. There was only, in one inner pocket, a receipt for a watch repair which I replaced where I found it.

There were no drawers: more or less everything else had to be in his suitcase which stood against the wall. With an eye on the corridor outside, I tried one of the latches and wasn't surprised to find it locked.

That left only a tiny cupboard above the hanging space, in which Julius Apollo had stored a black leather toilet bag and his brushes.

On the floor below his suits, pushed to the back of the hanging space, I found his briefcase.

I put my head out of the door which was directly beside the hanging space, and looked up and down the corridor.

No one in sight.

I went down on hands and knees, half in and half out of the doorway, with an excuse ready of looking for a coin I'd dropped. I put a hand into the luggage space and drew the briefcase to the front; and it was of black crocodile skin with gold clasps, as I'd seen at Nottingham races.

The fact of its presence was all I was going to learn, however, as it had revolving combination locks which were easy enough to undo, but only if one had two hours to spend on each lock, which I hadn't. Whether or not the briefcase still contained whatever Horfitz had given Filmer at Nottingham was anyone's guess, and dearly though I would have liked to look at the contents, I didn't want to risk any more at that point. I pushed the black case deep into the hanging space again, stood up outside the door, closed it and went back to the scenes of jollity to the rear.

It was, by this time, nearly midnight. The Youngs were standing up in the dining room, ready to go to bed. Xanthe, however, alarmed by the departure of her new-found friend, was practically clinging to Mrs Young and with an echo of the earlier hysteria was saying that she couldn't possibly sleep in the private car, she would have nightmares, she would be too scared to stay, she was sure whoever had uncoupled the car before would do it again in the middle of the night, and they would all be killed when the Canadian crashed into them, because the Canadian was still there behind us, wasn't it, wasn't it?

Yes, it was.

Mrs Young did her best to soothe her, but it was impossible not to respect her fears. She had undoubtedly nearly been killed. Mrs Young told her that the madman who had mischievously unhitched the car was hours behind us in Cartier, but Xanthe was beyond reassurance.

Mrs Young appealed to Nell, asking if there was anywhere else that Xanthe could sleep, and Nell, consulting the ever-present clipboard, shook her head doubtfully.

&bquo;There's an upper berth in A section,&equo; she said slowly, &bquo;but it only has a curtain, and no facilities except at the end of the car, and it's hardly what Xanthe's used to.&equo;

&bquo;I don't care,&equo; Xanthe said passionately. &bquo;I'll sleep on the floor or on the seats in the lounge, or anywhere. I'll sleep in that upper berth … Please let me.&equo;

&bquo;I don't see why not, then,&equo; Nell said. &bquo;What about night things?&equo;

&bquo;I'm not going into our car to fetch them. I'm not.&equo;

&bquo;All right,&equo; Nell said. &bquo;I'll go and ask your mother.&equo;

Mrs Young stayed with Xanthe, who was again faintly trembling, until at length Nell returned with both a small grip and Bambi.

Bambi tried to get her daughter to change her mind, but predictably without success. I thought it unlikely that Xanthe would ever sleep in that car again, so strong was her present reaction. She, Bambi, Nell and the Youngs made their way past me without looking at me and continued on along the corridor beside the kitchen, going to inspect the revised quarters which I knew were in the sleeping car forward of Filmer's.

After a while Bambi and Nell returned alone, and Bambi with an unexcited word of gratitude to Nell walked a few paces forward and stopped beside her son, who had done nothing to comfort or help his sister and was now sitting alone.

&bquo;Come along, Sheridan,&equo; she said, her tone without peremptoriness but also without affection. &bquo;Your father asks you to come.&equo;

Sheridan gave her a look of hatred which seemed not in the least to bother her. She stood patiently waiting until, with exceedingly bad grace, he got to his feet and followed her homewards.

Bambi, it seemed to me, had taught herself not to care for Sheridan so as not to be hurt by him. She too, like Mercer, must have suffered for years from his boorish behaviour in public, and she had distanced herself from it. She didn't try to buy the toleration of the victims of his rudeness, as Mercer did: she ignored the rudeness instead.

I wondered which had come first, the chill and disenchantment of her worldly sophistication, or the lack of warmth in her son: and perhaps there was ice in both of them, and the one had reinforced the other. Bambi, I thought, was a highly inappropriate name for her; she was no innocent wide-eyed smooth-skinned fawn but an experienced, aloof, good-looking woman in the skin of minks.

Nell, watching them go, sighed and said, &bquo;She didn't kiss Xanthe goodnight, you know, or give her even a hug to comfort her. Nothing. And Mercer's so nice.&equo;

&bquo;Forget them.&equo;

&bquo;Yes …. You do realize the press will be down on this train like a pack of hunting lions at the next stop?&equo;

&bquo;Lionesses,&equo; I said.

&bquo;What?&equo;

&bquo;It's the females who hunt in a pack. One male sits by, watching, and takes the lion's share of the kill.&equo;

&bquo;I don't want to know that.&equo;

&bquo;Our next stop,&equo; I said, &bquo;will be fifteen minutes at White River in the middle of the night. After the delay, we'll aim to arrive at four-oh-five, depart four-twenty.&equo;

&bquo;And after that?&equo;

&bquo;Except for a three-minute pause in a back-of-beyond, we stop at Thunder Bay for twenty-five minutes at ten-fifty tomorrow morning.&equo;

&bquo;Do you know the whole timetable by heart?&equo;

&bquo;Emil told me to learn it. He was right when he said the question I would have to answer most was &bquo;When do we reach so and so?&equo; … and if I were a regular waiter he said I would know the answers, even though we're thirty-five minutes earlier everywhere than the regular Canadian.&equo;

&bquo;Emil is cute,&equo; she said.

I looked at her in surprise. I wouldn't have thought of Emil as cute. Small, neat, bright and generous, yes. &bquo;Cute?&equo; I asked.

&bquo;I would hope,&equo; she said, &bquo;that you don't think so.&equo;

&bquo;No.&equo;

&bquo;Good.&equo; She was relieved, I saw.

&bquo;Weren't you sure?&equo; I asked curiously. &bquo;Am I so … ambivalent?&equo;

&bquo;Well …&equo; There was a touch of embarrassment. &bquo;I didn't mean to get into this sort of conversation, really I didn't. But if you want to know, there's something. about you that's secret … ultra-private … as if you didn't want to be known too well. So I just wondered. I'm sorry …&equo;

&bquo;I shall shower you with ravening kisses.&equo;

She laughed. &bquo;Not your style.&equo;

&bquo;Wait and see.&equo; And two people didn't, I thought, drift into talking like that after knowing each other for such a short while unless there was immediate trust and liking.

We were standing in the tiny lobby between the kitchen and the dining room, and she still had the clipboard clasped to her chest. She would have to put it down, I thought fleetingly, before any serious ravening could take place.

&bquo;You always have jokes in your eyes,&equo; she said. &bquo;And you never tell them.&equo;

&bquo;I was thinking about how you use your clipboard as chain-mail.&equo;

Her own eyes widened. &bquo;A lousy man in the magazine office squeezed my breast … Why am I telling you? It was years ago. Why should I care? Anyway, where else would you carry a clipboard?&equo;

She put it down, all the same, on the counter, but we didn't talk much longer as the revellers from the rear began coming through to go to the bedrooms. I retreated into the kitchen and I could hear people asking Nell what time they could have breakfast.

&bquo;Between seven and nine-thirty,&equo; she said. &bquo;Sleep well, everybody.&equo; She put her head into the kitchen. &bquo;Same to you, sleep well. I'm off to bed.&equo;

&bquo;Goodnight,&equo; I said, smiling.

&bquo;Aren't you going?&equo;

&bquo;Yes, in a while.&equo;

&bquo;When everything's … safe?&equo;

&bquo;You might say so.&equo;

&bquo;What exactly does the Jockey Club expect you to do?&equo;

&bquo;See trouble before it comes.&equo;

&bquo;But that's practically impossible.&equo;

&bquo;Mm,&equo; I said. &bquo;I didn't foresee anyone uncoupling the Lorrimores.&equo;

&bquo;You'll be fired for that,&equo; she said dryly, &bquo;so if you sleep, sleep well.&equo;

&bquo;Tor would kiss you,&equo; I said. &bquo;Tommy can't.&equo;

&bquo;I'll count it done.&equo;

She went away blithely, the clipboard again in place: a habit, I supposed, as much as a defence.

I walked back to the bar and wasted time with the barman. The intent poker school looked set for an all-night session, the dancing was still causing laughter in the lounge and the northern lights were entrancing the devotees in the dome. The barman yawned and said he'd be closing the bar soon. Alcohol stopped at midnight.

Date: 1991 Title: The Eagle Has Flown Author: Jack Higgins B Jack Higgins (first person narrator & persona of author) C Ruth Cohen F "Some studies" G Churchill
LONDON BELFAST 1975 CHAPTER ONE

THERE was an Angel of Death on top of an ornate mausoleum in one corner, arms extended. I remember that well because someone was practising the organ and light drifted across the churchyard in coloured bands through stained-glass windows. The church wasn't particularly old, built on a high tide of Victorian prosperity like the tall houses surrounding it. St Martin's Square. A good address once. Now, just a shabby backwater in Belsize Park, but a nice, quiet area where a woman alone might walk down to the corner shop at midnight in safety and people minded their own business.

The flat at number thirteen was on the ground floor. My agent had borrowed it for me from a cousin who had gone to New York for six months. It was old-fashioned and comfortable and suited me fine. I was on the downhill slope of a new novel and needed to visit the Reading Room at the British Museum most days.

But that November evening, the evening it all started, it was raining heavily and just after six I passed through the iron gates and followed the path through the forest of Gothic monuments and gravestones. In spite of my umbrella the shoulders of my trenchcoat were soaked, not that it bothered me. I've always liked the rain, the city at night, wet streets stretching into winter darkness, a peculiar feeling of freedom that it contains. And things had gone well that day with the work, the end was very definitely in sight.

The Angel of Death was closer now, shadowed in the half-light from the church, the two marble attendants on guard at the mausoleum's bronze doors, everything as usual except that tonight, I could have sworn that there was a third figure and that it moved out of the darkness towards me.

For a moment I knew genuine fear and then, as it came into the light, I saw a young woman, quite small and wearing a black beret and soaked raincoat. She had a briefcase in one hand. The face was pale, the eyes dark and somehow anxious.

&bquo;Mr Higgins? You are Jack Higgins, aren't you?&equo; She was American, that much was obvious. I took a deep breath to steady my nerves. &bquo;That's right. What can I do for you?&equo;

&bquo;I must talk to you, Mr Higgins. Is there somewhere we could go?&equo;

I hesitated, reluctant for all sorts of obvious reasons to take this any further and yet there was something quite out of the ordinary about her. Something not to be resisted.

I said, &bquo;My flat's just over the square there.&equo;

&bquo;I know,&equo; she said. I still hesitated and she added, &bquo;You won't regret it, believe me. I've information of vital importance to you.&equo;

&bquo;About what?&equo; I asked.

&bquo;What really happened afterwards at Studley Constable. Oh, lots of things you don't know.&equo;

Which was enough. I took her arm and said,

&bquo;Right, let's get in out of this damn rain before you catch your death and you can tell me what the hell this is all about.&equo;

The house interior had changed very little, certainly not in my flat where the tenant had stayed with a late Victorian decor, lots of mahogany furniture, red velvet curtains at the bow window and a sort of Chinese wallpaper in gold and green, heavily patterned with birds. Except for the central heating radiators, the only other concession to modern living was the kind of gas fire which made it seem as if logs burned brightly in a stainless steel basket.

&bquo;That's nice,&equo; she said and turned to face me, even smaller than I had thought. She held out her right hand awkwardly, still clutching the briefcase in the other. &bquo;Cohen,&equo; she said. &bquo;Ruth Cohen.&equo;

I said, &bquo;Lets have that coat, I'll put it in front of one of the radiators.&equo;

&bquo;Thank you.&equo; She fumbled at her belt with one hand and I laughed and took the briefcase from her.

&bquo;Here, let me.&equo; As I put it down on the table I saw that her initials were etched on the flap in black. The only difference was that it said Ph.D. at the end of it.

&bquo;Ph.D.?&equo; I said.

She smiled slightly as she got out of the coat.

&bquo;Harvard modern history.&equo;

&bquo;That's interesting,&equo; I said. &bquo;I'll make some tea, or would you prefer coffee?&equo;

She smiled again. &bquo;Six months post doc at London University, Mr Higgins, I'd very definitely prefer your tea.&equo;

I went through to the kitchen and put on the kettle and made a tray ready. I lit a cigarette as I waited and turned to find her leaning on the doorway, arms folded.

&bquo;Your thesis,&equo; I said. &bquo;For your doctorate. What was the subject?&equo;

&bquo;Certain aspects of the Third Reich in the Second World War.&equo;

&bquo;Interesting. Cohen — are you Jewish?&equo; I turned to make the tea.

&bquo;My father was a german Jew. He survived Auschwitz and made it to the US, but died the year after I was born.&equo;

I could think of no more than the usual inadequate response. &bquo;I'm sorry.&equo;

She stared at me blankly for a moment, then turned and went back to the sitting room. I followed with the tray, placed it on a small coffee table by the fire and we sat opposite each other in wingback chairs.

&bquo;Which explains your interest in the Third Reich,&equo; I said as I poured the tea.

She frowned and took the cup of tea I handed her. &bquo;I'm just an historian. No axe to grind. My particular obsession is with the Abwehr, German Military Intelligence. Why they were so good and why they were so bad at the same time.&equo;

&bquo;Admiral Wilhelm Canaris and his merry men?&equo; I shrugged. &bquo;I'd say his heart was never in it, but as the SS hanged him at Flossenburg concentration camp in April forty-five, we'll never know.&equo;

&bquo;Which brings me to you,&equo; she said. &bquo;And your book The Eagle Has Landed.&equo;

&bquo;A novel, Dr Cohen,&equo; I said. &bquo;Pure speculation.&equo;

&bquo; At least fifty per cent of which is documented historical fact, you claim that yourself at the beginning of the book.&equo;

She leaned forward, hands clenched on her knees, a kind of fierceness there. I said softly, &bquo;All right, so what exactly are you getting at?&equo;

&bquo;Remember how you found out about the affair in the first place?&equo; she said. &bquo;The thing that started you off?&equo;

&bquo;Of course,&equo; I said. &bquo;The monument to Steiner and his men the villagers of Studley Constable had hidden under the tombstone in the churchyard.&equo;

&bquo;Remember what it said?&equo;

&bquo;Exactly,&equo; she said. &bquo;Here lies Lieutenant Colonel Kurt Steiner and thirteen German paratroopers killed in action on sixth November, nineteen forty-three.&equo;

&bquo;So what's your point?&equo;

&bquo;Thirteen plus one makes fourteen, only there aren't fourteen bodies in that grave. There are only thirteen.&equo;

I stared at her incredulously. &bquo;How in the hell do you make that out?&equo;

&bquo;Because Kurt Steiner didn't die that night on the terrace at Meltham House, Mr Higgins.&equo; She reached for the briefcase, had it open in a second and produced a brown manilla folder. &bquo;And I have the proof right here.&equo;

Which very definitely called for Bushmills whiskey. I poured one and said, &bquo;All right, do I get to see it?&equo;

&bquo;Of course, that's why I'm here, but first let me explain. Any study of Abwehr intelligence affairs during the Second World War constantly refers to the work of SOE, the Special Operations Executive set up by British Intelligence in 1940 on Churchill's instructions to coordinate resistance and the underground movement in Europe.&equo;

&bquo; Set Europe ablaze, that's what the old man ordered,&equo; I said.

&bquo;I was fascinated to discover that a number of Americans worked for SOE before America came into the war. I thought there might be a book in it. I arranged to come over here to do the research and a name that came up again and again was Munro — Brigadier Dougal Munro. Before the war he was an archaeologist at Oxford. At SOE he was head of Section D. What was commonly known as the dirty tricks department.&equo;

&bquo;I had heard of him,&equo; I said.

&bquo;I did most of my research at the Public Records Office. As you know, few files dealing with intelligence matters are immediately available. Some are on a twenty-five-year hold, some fifty …

&bquo;And exceptionally sensitive material, a hundred years,&equo; I said.

&bquo;That's what I have here.&equo; She held up the folder. &bquo;A hundred-year-hold file concerning Dougal Munro, Kurt Steiner, Liam Devlin and others. Quite a story, believe me.&equo;

She passed it across and I held it on my knees without opening it. &bquo;How on earth did you come by this?&equo;

&bquo;I checked out some files concerning Munro yesterday. There was a young clerk on duty on his own. Got careless, I guess. I found the file sandwiched in between two others, sealed, of course. You have to do your research on the premises at the Records Office, but since it wasn't on the booking-out form, I slipped it into my briefcase.&equo;

&bquo;A criminal offence under the Defence of the Realm Act,&equo; I told her.

&bquo;I know. I opened the seals as carefully as I could and read the file. It's only a thirty-page resume of certain events — certain astonishing events.&equo;

&bquo;And then?&equo;

&bquo;I photocopied it.&equo;

&bquo;The wonders of modern technology allow them to tell when that's been done.&equo;

&bquo;I know. Anyway, I resealed the file and took it back this morning.&equo;

&bquo;And how did you manage to return it?&equo; I asked. &bquo;Checked out the same file yesterday. Took the Munro file back to the desk and told the duty clerk there'd been an error.&equo;

&bquo;Did he believe you?&equo;

&bquo;I suppose so. I mean, why wouldn't he?&equo;

&bquo;The same clerk?&equo;

&bquo;No — an older man.&equo;

I sat there thinking about it, feeling decidedly uneasy. Finally I said, &bquo;Why don't you make us some fresh tea while I have a go at this?&equo;

&bquo;All right.&equo;

She took the tray and went out. I hesitated, then opened the file and started to read.

I wasn't even aware that she was there, so gripped was I by the events recorded in that file. When I was finished, I closed it and looked up. She was back in the other chair watching me, a curiously intent look on her face.

I said, &bquo;I can understand the hundred-year hold. The powers that be wouldn't want this to come out, not even now.&equo;

&bquo;That's what I thought.&equo;

&bquo;Can I hang on to it for a while?&equo;

She hesitated, then nodded. &bquo;Till tomorrow if you like. I'm going back to the States on the evening flight. Pan Am.&equo;

&bquo;A sudden decision?&equo;

She went and got her raincoat. &bquo;That's right. I've decided I'd rather be back in my own country.&equo;

&bquo;Worried?&equo; I asked.

&bquo;I'm probably being hypersensitive, but sure. I'll pick the file up tomorrow afternoon. Say three o'clock on my way to Heathrow?&equo;

&bquo;Fine.&equo; I put the file down on top of my coffee table.

The clock on the mantelpiece chimed the half-hour, seven thirty, as I walked her to the door. I opened it and we stood for a moment, rain driving down hard.

&bquo;Of course there is someone who could confirm the truth of that file,&equo; she said. &bquo;Liam Devlin. You said in your book he was still around, operating with the Provisional IRA in Ireland.&equo;

&bquo;Last I heard,&equo; I said. &bquo;Sixty-seven he'll be now, but lively with it.&equo;

&bquo;Well, then.&equo; She smiled again. &bquo;I'll see you tomorrow afternoon.&equo;

She went down the steps and walked away through the rain, vanishing in the early evening mist at the end of the street.

Title: Rites of Passage Author: William Golding Publication: Faber & Faber, London, 1980 C Copernicus G Galileo K Mr Willis L Mr Cumbershum M Mr Talbot (1st person narrator) N Mr Taylor X unknown Z Mr Deverel

That fourth day, then - though indeed the fifth - but to continue.

After the captain had turned to the stern rail I remained for some time endeavouring to engage Mr Cumbershum in conversation. He answered me in the fewest possible words and I began to understand that he was uneasy in the captain's presence. However, I did not wish to leave the quarterdeck as if retreating from it.

"Cumbershum," said I, "the motion is easier. Show more of our ship. Or if you feel it inadvisable to interrupt the management of her, lend me this young fellow to be my conductor."

The young fellow in question, Cumbershum's satellite, was a midshipman - not one of your ancients, stuck in his inferior position like a goat in a bush, but an example of the breed that brings a tear to every maternal eye - in a sentence, a pustular lad of fourteen or fifteen, addressed, as I soon found in pious hope, as a "Young Gentleman." It was some time before Cumbershum answered me, the lad looking from the one to the other of us meanwhile. At last Mr Cumbershum said the lad, Mr Willis by name, might go with me. So my object was gained. I left the Sacred Precincts with dignity and indeed had despoiled it of a votary. As we descended the ladder there was a hail from Mr Cumbershum.

"Mr Willis, Mr Willis! Do not omit to invite Mr Talbot to glance at the captain's Standing Orders. You may transmit to me any suggestions he has for their improvement."

I laughed heartily at this sally though Willis did not seem to be amused by it. He is not merely pustular but pale, and he commonly lets his mouth hang open. He asked me what I would choose to see and I had no idea, having used him to get me off the quarterdeck suitably attended. I nodded towards the forward part of the vessel.

"Let us stroll thither," said I, "and see how the people live."

Willis followed me with some hesitation in the shadow of the boats on the boom, across the white line at the main mast, then between the pens where our beasts are kept. He passed me then and led the way up a ladder to the front or fo'castle, where was the capstan, some loungers and a woman plucking a chicken. I went towards the bowsprit and looked down. I became aware of the age of this old crone of a ship for she is positively beaked in the manner of the last century and flimsy, I should judge, about the bow withal. I looked over her monstrous figurehead, emblem of her name and which our people as is their custom have turned colloquially into an obscenity with which I will not trouble your lordship. But the sight of the men down there squatting in the heads at their business was distasteful and some of them looked up at me with what seemed like impertinence. I turned away and gazed along her vast length and to the vaster expanse of dark blue ocean that surrounded us.

"Well sir," said I to Willis, "we are certainly ''vp , a, are we not?"

Willis replied that he did not know French.

"What do you know then, lad?"

"The rigging sir, the parts of the ship, bends and hitches, the points of the compass, the marks of the leadline to take a bearing off a point of land or a mark and to shoot the sun."

"We are in good hands I see."

"There is more than that, sir," said he, "as for example the parts of a gun, the composition of powder to sweeten the bilge and the Articles of War."

"You must not sweeten the Articles of War," said I solemnly. "We must not be kinder to each other than the French are to us! It seems to me that your education is piled all on top of itself like my lady mother's sewing closet! But what is the composition of the powder that enables you to shoot the sun and should you not be careful lest you damage the source of light and put the day out?"

Willis laughed noisily.

"You are roasting me, sir," he said. "Even a landlubber I ask your pardon knows what shooting the sun is."

"I forgive you that 'even,' sir! When shall I see you do so?"

"Take an observation, sir? Why, at noon, in a few minutes. There will be Mr Smiles, the sailing master, Mr Davies and Mr Taylor, the other two midshipmen sir, though Mr Davies does not really know how to do it for all that he is so old and Mr Taylor my friend, I beg you will not mention it to the Captain, has a sextant that does not work owing to his having pawned the one that his father gave him. So we have agreed to take turn with mine and give altitudes that are two minutes different."

I put my hand to my forehead.

"And the safety of the whole hangs by such a spider's thread!"

"Sir?"

"Our position, my boy! Good God, we might as well be in the hands of my young brothers! Is our position to be decided by an antique midshipman and a sextant that does not work?"

"Lord, no, sir! In the first place Tommy Taylor and I believe we may persuade Mr Davies to swap his good one for Tommy's instrument. It would not really matter to Mr Davies you see. Besides, sir, Captain Anderson, Mr Smiles and some other officers are also engaged in the navigation."

"I see. You do not merely shoot the sun. You subject him to a British Broadside! I shall watch with interest and perhaps take a hand in shooting the sun too as we roll round him."

"You could not do that, sir," said Willis in what seemed a kindly way. "We wait here for the sun to climb up the sky and we measure the angle when it is greatest and take the time too."

"Now look, lad," said I. "You are taking us back into the Middle Ages! You will be quoting Ptolemy at me next!"

"I do not know of him, sir. But we must wait while the sun climbs up."

"That is no more than an apparent movement," said I patiently. "Do you not know of Galileo and his 'Eppur si muove?' The earth goes round the sun! The motion was described by Copernicus and confirmed by Kepler!"

The lad answered me with the purest simplicity, ignorance and dignity.

"Sir, I do not know how the sun may behave among those gentlemen ashore but I know that he climbs up the sky in the Royal Navy."

I laughed again and laid my hand on the boy's shoulder.

"And so he shall! Let him move as he chooses! To tell you the truth, Mr Willis, I am so glad to see him up there with the snowy clouds about him that he may dance a jig for all I care! Look - your companions are gathering. Be off with you and aim your instrument!"

He thanked me and dived away. I stood on the aftermost part of the fo'castle and looked back at the ceremony which, I own, pleased me. There was a number of officers on the quarterdeck. They waited on the sun, the brass triangles held to their faces. Now here was a curious and moving circumstance. All those of the ship's people who were on deck and some of the emigrants too, turned and watched this rite with silent attention. They could not be expected to understand the mathematics of the operation. That I have some notion of it myself is owing to education, an inveterate curiosity and a facility in learning. Even the passengers, or those of them on deck, stood at gaze. I should not have been surprised to see the gentlemen lift their hats! But the people, I mean the common sort, whose lives as much as ours depended on an accuracy of measurement beyond their comprehension and the appli- cation of formulae that would be as opaque to them as Chinese writing, these people, I say, accorded the whole operation a respect such as they might have paid the solemnest moment of a religious service. You might be inclined to think as I did that the glittering instruments were their Mumbo Jumbo. Indeed, Mr Davies's ignorance and Mr Taylor's defective instrument were feet of clay; but I felt they might have a justifiable faith in some of the older officers! And then--their attitudes! The woman watched, the half-plucked hen in her lap. Two fellows who were carrying a sick girl up from below--why, even they stood and watched as if someone had said hist, while their burden lay helplessly between them. Then the girl, too, turned her head and watched where they watched. There was a moving and endearing pathos about their attention, as in a dog that watches a conversation it cannot possibly understand. I am not, as your lordship must be aware, a friend of those who approve the outrageous follies of democracy in this and the last century. But at the moment when I saw a number of our sailors in a posture of such intense regard I came as near as ever I have done to seeing such concepts as "duty", "privilege", and "authority" in a new light. They moved out of books, out of the schoolroom and university into the broader scenes of daily life. Indeed, until I saw these fellows like Milton's hungry sheep that "look up", I had not considered the nature of my own ambitions nor looked for the justification of them that was here presented to me. Forgive me for boring your lordship with my discovery of what you yourself must know so well.

How noble was the prospect! Our vessel was urged forward under the force of sufficient but not excessive wind, the billows sparkled, the white clouds were diversedly mirrored in the deep - et cetera. The sun resisted without apparent effort our naval broadside! I went down the ladder and walked back towards where our navigators were breaking from their rank and descending from the quarterdeck. Mr Smiles, the sailing master, is old, but not as old as Mr Davies, our senior midshipman, who is nearly as old as the ship! He descended not merely the ladder to the level of the waist where I was but the next one down as well - going away with a slow and broken motion for all the world like a stage apparition returning to the tomb. After leave obtained, Mr Willis, my young acquaintance, brought his companion to me with some ceremony. Mr Tommy Taylor must be a clear two years younger than Mr Willis but has the spirit and well-knit frame that his elder lacks. Mr Taylor is from a naval family. He explained at once that Mr Willis was weak in his attic and needed retiling. I was to come to him, Mr Taylor, if I wished to find out about navigation, since Mr Willis would soon have me on the rocks. Only the day before, he had informed Mr Deverel that at the latitude of sixty degrees north, a degree of longitude would be reduced to half a nautical mile. On Mr Deverel asking him evidently a wag, Mr Deverel - what it would be reduced to at sixty degrees south, Mr Willis had replied that he had not got as far as that in the book. The memory of these cataclysmic errors sent Mr Taylor into a long peal of laughter which Mr Willis did not appear to resent. He is devoted to his young friend evidently, admires him and shows him off to the best advantage. Behold me, then, pacing to and fro between the break of the afterdeck and the mainmast, a young acolyte on either side; the younger one on my starboard hand, full of excitement, information, opinion, gusto; the other, silent, but smiling with open mouth and nodding at his young friend's expressions of opinion on any subject under and, indeed, including the sun!

Title: Brighton Rock Author: Graham Greene Publication: Penguin, London, 1943 (first published Heinemann 1938). H Rose J barman K Jim Tate L child M Ida Arnold X unknown

IDA ARNOLD SAT UP IN THE BOARDING-HOUSE BED. FOR A MOMENT SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHERE SHE WAS. HER HEAD ACHED WITH THE THICK NIGHT AT SHERRY'S. IT CAME SLOWLY BACK TO HER AS SHE STARED AT THE THICK EWER ON THE FLOOR, THE BASIN OF GREY WATER IN WHICH SHE HAD PERFUNCTORILY WASHED, THE BRIGHT PINK ROSES ON THE WALLPAPER, A WEDDING GROUP, - PHIL CORKERY DITHERING OUTSIDE THE FRONT DOOR, PECKING AT HER LIPS, SWAYING OFF DOWN THE PARADE AS IF THAT WAS ALL HE COULD EXPECT, WHILE THE TIDE RECEDED. SHE LOOKED ROUND THE ROOM; IT DIDN'T LOOK SO GOOD IN THE MORNING LIGHT AS WHEN SHE HAD BOOKED IT, BUT "IT'S HOMELY," SHE THOUGHT WITH SATISFACTION, "IT'S WHAT I LIKE."

THE SUN WAS SHINING; BRIGHTON WAS AT ITS BEST. THE PASSAGE OUTSIDE HER ROOM WAS GRITTY WITH SAND, SHE FELT IT UNDER HER SHOES ALL THE WAY DOWN STAIRS, AND IN THE HALL THERE WAS A PAIL, TWO SPADES, AND A LONG PIECE OF SEAWEED HANGING BY THE DOOR AS A BAROMETER. THERE WERE A LOT OF SANDSHOES LYING ABOUT, AND FROM THE DINING-ROOM CAME A CHILD'S QUERULOUS VOICE REPEATING OVER AND OVER, "I DON'T WANT TO DIG. I WANT TO GO TO THE PICTURES. I DON'T WANT TO DIG."

AT ONE SHE WAS MEETING PHIL CORKERY AT SNOW'S. BEFORE THAT THERE WERE THINGS TO DO; SHE HAD TO GO EASY ON THE MONEY, NOT PUT AWAY TOO MUCH IN THE WAY OF GUINNESS. IT WASN'T CHEAP LIVING DOWN AT BRIGHTON, AND SHE WASN'T GOING TO TAKE CASH FROM CORKERY - SHE HAD A CONSCIENCE, SHE HAD A CODE, AND IF SHE TOOK CASH SHE GAVE SOMETHING IN RETURN. BLACK BOY WAS THE ANSWER: SHE HAD TO SEE ABOUT IT FIRST THING BEFORE THE ODDS SHORTENED: SINEWS OF WAR, AND SHE MADE HER WAY TOWARDS KEMP TOWN TO THE ONLY BOOKIE SHE KNEW, OLD JIM TATE, "HONEST JIM" OF THE HALF-CROWN ENCLOSURE.

HE BELLOWED AT HER AS SOON AS SHE GOT INSIDE HIS OFFICE, "HERE'S IDA. SIT DOWN, MRS TURNER," GETTING HER NAME WRONG. HE PUSHED A BOX OF GOLD FLAKE ACROSS TO HER. "INHALE A CHEROOT." HE WAS A LITTLE MORE THAN LIFE-SIZE. HIS VOICE, AFTER THE RACE MEETINGS OF TWENTY YEARS, COULD HIT NO TONE WHICH WASN'T LOUD AND HOARSE. HE WAS A MAN YOU NEEDED TO LOOK AT THROUGH THE WRONG END OF A TELESCOPE IF YOU WERE TO BELIEVE HIM THE FINE HEALTHY FELLOW HE MADE HIMSELF OUT TO BE. WHEN YOU WERE CLOSE TO HIM, YOU SAW THE THICK BLUE VEINS ON THE LEFT FOREHEAD, THE RED MONEY-SPIDER'S WEB ACROSS THE EYEBALLS. "WELL, MRS. TURNER - IDA - WHAT IS IT YOU FANCY?"

"BLACK BOY," IDA SAID.

"BLACK BOY," JIM TATE REPEATED. "THAT'S TEN TO ONE."

"TWELVE TO ONE."

"THE ODDS HAVE SHORTENED. THERE'S BEEN QUITE A PACKET LAID ON BLACK BOY THIS WEEK. YOU WOULDN'T GET TEN TO ONE FROM ANYONE BUT YOUR OLD FRIEND."

"ALL RIGHT," IDA SAID. "PUT ME ON TWENTY POUNDS. AND MY NAME'S NOT TURNER. IT'S ARNOLD."

"TWENTY NICKER. THAT'S A FAT BET FOR YOU, MRS. WHAT-EVER-YOU-ARE." HE LICKED HIS THUMB AND BEGAN TO COMB THE NOTES. HALF-WAY THROUGH HE PAUSED, SAT STILL LIKE A LARGE TOAD OVER HIS DESK, LISTENING. A LOT OF NOISE CAME IN THROUGH THE OPEN WINDOW, FEET ON STONE, VOICES, DISTANT MUSIC, BELLS RINGING, THE CONTINUOUS WHISPER OF THE CHANNEL. HE SAT QUITE STILL WITH HALF THE NOTES IN HIS HAND. HE LOOKED UNEASY. THE TELEPHONE RANG. HE LET IT RING FOR TWO SECONDS, HIS VEINED EYES ON IDA; THEN HE LIFTED THE RECEIVER. "HULLO. HULLO. THIS IS JIM TATE." IT WAS AN OLD-FASHIONED TELEPHONE. HE SCREWED THE RECEIVER CLOSE INTO HIS EAR AND SAT STILL WHILE A LOW VOICE BURRED LIKE A BEE.

ONE HAND HOLDING THE RECEIVER TO HIS EAR, JIM TATE SHUFFLED THE NOTES TOGETHER, WROTE OUT A SLIP. HE SAID HOARSELY, "THAT'S ALL RIGHT, MR. COLLEONI. I'LL DO THAT, MR. COLLEONI," AND PLANKED THE RECEIVER DOWN.

"YOU'VE WRITTEN BLACK DOG," IDA SAID.

HE LOOKED ACROSS AT HER. IT TOOK HIM A MOMENT TO UNDERSTAND. "BLACK DOG," HE SAID, AND THEN LAUGHED, HOARSE AND HOLLOW. "WHAT WAS I THINKING OF? BLACK DOG, INDEED."

"THAT MEANS CARE," IDA SAID.

"WELL," HE BARKED WITH UNCONVINCING GENIALITY, "WE'VE ALWAYS SOMETHING TO WORRY ABOUT." THE TELEPHONE RANG AGAIN. JIM TATE LOOKED AS IF IT MIGHT STING HIM.

"YOU'RE BUSY," IDA SAID. "I'LL BE GOING."

WHEN SHE WENT OUT INTO THE STREET SHE LOOKED THIS WAY AND THAT TO SEE IF SHE COULD SEE ANY CAUSE FOR JIM TATE'S UNEASINESS, BUT THERE WAS NOTHING VISIBLE: JUST BRIGHTON ABOUT ITS OWN BUSINESS ON A BEAUTIFUL DAY.

IDA WENT INTO A PUB AND HAD A GLASS OF DOURO PORT. IT WENT DOWN SWEET AND WARM AND HEAVY. SHE HAD ANOTHER. "WHO'S MR. COLLEONI?" SHE ASKED THE BARMAN.

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHO COLLEONI IS?"

"I NEVER HEARD OF HIM TILL JUST NOW."

THE BARMAN SAID, "HE'S TAKING OVER FROM KITE."

"WHO'S KITE?"

"WHO WAS KITE? YOU SAW HOW HE GOT CROAKED AT ST. PANCRAS?"

"NO."

"I DON'T SUPPOSE THEY MEANT TO DO IT," THE BARMAN SAID. "THEY JUST MEANT TO CARVE HIM UP, BUT A RAZOR SLIPPED."

"HAVE A DRINK?"

"THANKS. I'LL HAVE A GIN."

"CHEERYO."

"CHEERYO."

"I HADN'T HEARD ALL THIS," IDA SAID. SHE LOOKED OVER HIS SHOULDER AT THE CLOCK: NOTHING TO DO TILL ONE: SHE MIGHT AS WELL HAVE ANOTHER AND GOSSIP AWHILE. "GIVE ME ANOTHER PORT. WHEN DID ALL THIS HAPPEN?"

"OH, BEFORE WHITSUN." THE WORD WHITSUN ALWAYS CAUGHT HER EAR NOW: IT MEANT A LOT OF THINGS, A GRUBBY TEN SHILLING NOTE, THE WHITE STEPS DOWN TO THE LADIES', TRAGEDY IN CAPITAL LETTERS. "AND WHAT ABOUT KITE'S FRIENDS?" SHE ASKED.**

"THEY DON'T STAND A CHANCE NOW KITE'S DEAD. THE MOB'S GOT NO LEADER. WHY, THEY TAG ROUND AFTER A KID OF SEVENTEEN. WHAT'S A KID LIKE THAT GOING TO DO AGAINST COLLEONI?" HE BENT ACROSS THE BAR AND WHISPERED, "HE CUT UP BREWER LAST NIGHT."

"WHO? COLLEONI?"

"NO, THE KID."

"I DUNNO WHO BREWER IS," IDA SAID, "BUT THINGS SEEM LIVELY."

"YOU WAIT TILL THE RACES START," THE MAN SAID. "THEY'LL BE LIVELY ALL RIGHT THEN. COLLEONI'S OUT FOR A MONOPOLY. QUICK, LOOK THROUGH THE WINDOW THERE AND YOU'LL SEE HIM." IDA WENT TO THE WINDOW AND LOOKED OUT, AND AGAIN SHE SAW ONLY THE BRIGHTON SHE KNEW; SHE HADN'T SEEN ANYTHING DIFFERENT EVEN THE DAY FRED DIED: TWO GIRLS IN BEACH PYJAMAS ARM-IN-ARM, THE BUSES GOING BY TO ROTTINGDEAN, A MAN SELLING PAPERS, A WOMAN WITH A SHOPPING BASKET, A BOY IN A SHABBY SUIT , AN EXCURSION STEAMER EDGING OFF FROM THE PIER, WHICH LAY LONG, LUMINOUS AND TRANSPARENT, LIKE A SHRIMP IN THE SUNLIGHT. SHE SAID, "I DON'T SEE ANYONE."

"HE'S GONE NOW."

"WHO? COLLEONI?"

"NO, THE KID."

"OH," IDA SAID, "THAT BOY," COMING BACK TO THE BAR, DRINKING UP HER PORT.

"I BET HE'S WORRIED PLENTY."

"A KID LIKE THAT OUGHTN'T TO BE MIXED UP WITH THINGS," IDA SAID. "IF HE WAS MINE I'D JUST LARRUP IT OUT OF HIM." WITH THOSE WORDS SHE WAS ABOUT TO DISMISS HIM, TO TURN HER ATTENTION AWAY FROM HIM, MOVING HER MIND ON ITS AXIS LIKE A GREAT STEEL DREDGER, WHEN SHE REMEMBERED: A FACE IN A BAR SEEN OVER FRED'S SHOULDER, THE SOUND OF A GLASS BREAKING: "THE GENTLEMAN WILL PAY." SHE HAD A ROYAL MEMORY. "YOU EVER COME ACROSS THIS KOLLEY KIBBER?" SHE ASKED.**

"NO SUCH LUCK," THE BARMAN SAID.

"IT SEEMED ODD HIS DYING LIKE THAT. MUST HAVE MADE A BIT OF GOSSIP."

"NONE I HEARD OF," THE BARMAN SAID. "HE WASN'T A BRIGHTON MAN. NO ONE KNEW HIM ROUND THESE PARTS. HE WAS A STRANGER."

A STRANGER: THE WORD MEANT NOTHING TO HER: THERE WAS NO PLACE IN THE WORLD WHERE SHE FELT A STRANGER. SHE CIRCULATED THE DREGS OF THE CHEAP PORT IN HER GLASS AND REMARKED TO NO ONE IN PARTICULAR, "IT'S A GOOD LIFE." THERE WAS NOTHING WITH WHICH SHE DIDN'T CLAIM KINSHIP: THE ADVERTISING MIRROR BEHIND THE BARMAN'S BACK FLASHED HER OWN IMAGE AT HER: THE BEACH GIRLS WENT GIGGLING ACROSS THE PARADE: THE GONG BEAT ON THE STEAMER FOR BOULOGNE: IT WAS A GOOD LIFE. ONLY THE DARKNESS IN WHICH THE BOY WALKED, GOING FROM FRANK'S, GOING BACK TO FRANK'S, WAS ALIEN TO HER; SHE HAD NO PITY FOR SOMETHING SHE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND. SHE SAID, "I'LL BE GETTING ON."

IT WASN'T ONE YET, BUT THERE WERE QUESTIONS SHE WANTED TO ASK BEFORE MR CORKERY ARRIVED. SHE SAID TO THE FIRST WAITRESS SHE SAW, "ARE YOU THE LUCKY ONE?"

"NOT THAT I KNOW OF," THE WAITRESS SAID COLDLY.

"I MEAN THE ONE WHO FOUND THE CARD - THE KOLLEY KIBBER CARD."

"OH, THAT WAS HER," THE WAITRESS SAID, NODDING A POINTED POWDERED CONTEMPTUOUS CHIN.

IDA CHANGED HER TABLE. SHE SAID, "I'VE GOT A FRIEND COMING. I'LL HAVE TO WAIT FOR HIM, BUT I'LL TRY TO PICK. IS THE SHEPHERD'S PIE GOOD?"

"IT LOOKS LOVELY."

"NICE AND BROWN ON TOP?"

"IT'S A PICTURE."

"WHAT'S YOUR NAME, DEAR?"

"ROSE."

"WHY, I DO BELIEVE," IDA SAID, "YOU WERE THE LUCKY ONE WHO FOUND A CARD?"

"DID THEY TELL YOU THAT?" ROSE SAID. "THEY HAVEN'T FORGIVEN ME. THEY THINK I DIDN'T OUGHT TO BE LUCKY LIKE THAT MY FIRST DAY."

"YOUR FIRST DAY? THAT WAS A BIT OF LUCK. YOU WON'T FORGET THAT DAY IN A HURRY."

"NO," ROSE SAID, "I'LL REMEMBER THAT ALWAYS."

"I MUSTN'T KEEP YOU HERE TALKING."

"IF YOU ONLY WOULD. IF YOU'D SORT OF LOOK AS IF YOU WAS ORDERING THINGS. THERE'S NO ONE ELSE WANTS TO BE ATTENDED TO AND I'M READY TO DROP WITH THESE TRAYS."

"YOU DON'T LIKE THE JOB?"

"OH," ROSE SAID QUICKLY, "I DIDN'T SAY THAT. IT'S A GOOD JOB. I WOULDN'T HAVE ANYTHING DIFFERENT FOR THE WORLD. I WOULDN'T BE IN A HOTEL, OR IN CHESSMAN'S, NOT IF THEY PAID ME TWICE AS MUCH. IT'S ELEGANT HERE," ROSE SAID, GAZING OVER THE WASTE OF GREEN-PAINTED TABLES, THE DAFFODILS, THE PAPER NAPKINS, THE SAUCE BOTTLES.

"ARE YOU A LOCAL?"

"I'VE ALWAYS LIVED HERE - ALL MY LIFE," ROSE SAID, "IN NELSON PLACE. THIS IS A FINE SITUATION FOR ME BECAUSE THEY HAVE US SLEEP IN. THERE'S ONLY THREE OF US IN MY ROOM, AND WE HAVE TWO LOOKING-GLASSES."

"HOW OLD ARE YOU?"

ROSE LEANT GRATEFULLY ACROSS THE TABLE. "SIXTEEN," SHE SAID. "I DON'T TELL THEM THAT. I SAY SEVENTEEN. THEY'D SAY I WASN'T OLD ENOUGH IF THEY KNEW. THEY'D SEND ME - " SHE HESITATED A LONG WHILE AT THE GRIM WORD, "HOME."

"YOU MUST HAVE BEEN GLAD," IDA SAID, "WHEN YOU FOUND THAT CARD."

"OH, I WAS."

"DO YOU THINK I COULD HAVE A GLASS OF STOUT, DEAR?"

"WE HAVE TO SEND OUT," ROSE SAID. "IF YOU GIVE ME THE MONEY - " IDA OPENED HER PURSE. "I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU'LL EVER FORGET THE LITTLE FELLOW."

"OH, HE WASN'T SO . . ." ROSE BEGAN AND SUDDENLY STOPPED, STARING OUT THROUGH SNOW'S WINDOW ACROSS THE PARADE TO THE PIER.

"HE WASN'T WHAT?" IDA SAID. "WHAT WAS IT YOU WERE GOING TO SAY?"

"I DON'T REMEMBER."

"I JUST ASKED IF YOU'D EVER FORGET THE LITTLE FELLOW."

"IT'S GONE OUT OF MY HEAD," ROSE SAID. "I'LL GET YOUR DRINK. DOES IT COST ALL THAT - A GLASS OF STOUT?" SHE ASKED, PICKING UP THE TWO SHILLING PIECES.

"ONE OF THEM'S FOR YOU, DEAR," IDA SAID. "I'M INQUISITIVE. I CAN'T HELP IT. I'M MADE THAT WAY. TELL ME HOW HE LOOKED?"

"I DON'T KNOW. I CAN'T REMEMBER. I HAVEN'T GOT ANY MEMORY FOR FACES."

"YOU CAN'T HAVE, CAN YOU, DEAR, OR YOU'D HAVE CHALLENGED HIM. YOU MUST HAVE SEEN HIS PICTURE IN THE PAPERS."

"I KNOW. I'M SILLY THAT WAY." SHE STOOD THERE , PALE AND DETERMINED AND OUT OF BREATH AND GUILTY.

"AND THEN IT WOULD HAVE BEEN TEN POUNDS NOT TEN SHILLINGS."

"I'LL GET YOUR DRINK."

"PERHAPS I'LL WAIT AFTER ALL. THE GENTLEMAN WHO'S GIVING ME LUNCH, HE CAN PAY." IDA PICKED UP THE SHILLINGS AGAIN, AND ROSE'S EYES FOLLOWED HER HAND BACK TO HER BAG. "WASTE NOT, WANT NOT," IDA SAID GENTLY, TAKING IN THE DETAILS OF THE BONY FACE, THE LARGE MOUTH, THE EYES TOO FAR APART, THE PALLOR, THE IMMATURE BODY, AND THEN SUDDENLY SHE WAS LOUD AND CHEERFUL AGAIN, CALLING OUT, "PHIL CORKERY, PHIL CORKERY," WAVING HER HAND.

Title: Point Counter Point Author: Aldous Huxley Publication: Chatto & Windus, London, 1928.

"WHAT A BLOTCH!" SAID THE YOUNG MARY, AS THEY TOPPED THE CREST OF THE HILL AND LOOKED DOWN INTO THE VALLEY. STANTON-IN-TEESDALE LAY BELOW THEM, BLACK WITH ITS SLATE ROOFS AND ITS SOOTY CHIMNEYS AND ITS SMOKE. THE MOORS ROSE UP AND ROLLED AWAY BEYOND IT, BARE AS FAR AS THE EYE COULD REACH. THE SUN SHONE, THE CLOUDS TRAILED ENORMOUS SHADOWS. "OUR POOR VIEW! IT OUGHTN'T TO BE ALLOWED. IT REALLY OUGHTN'T."

"EVERY PROSPECT PLEASES AND ONLY MAN IS VILE," QUOTED HER BROTHER GEORGE.

THE OTHER YOUNG MAN WAS MORE PRACTICALLY MINDED.

"IF ONE COULD PLANT A BATTERY HERE," HE SUGGESTED, "AND DROP A FEW HUNDRED ROUNDS ONTO THE PLACE . . ."

"IT WOULD BE A GOOD THING," SAID MARY EMPHATICALLY.

"A REALLY GOOD THING."

HER APPROVAL FILLED THE MILITARY YOUNG MAN WITH HAPPINESS. HE WAS DESPERATELY IN LOVE. "HEAVY HOWITZERS," HE ADDED, TRYING TO IMPROVE ON HIS SUGGESTION. BUT GEORGE INTERRUPTED HIM.

"WHO THE DEVIL IS THAT?" HE ASKED.

THE OTHERS LOOKED ROUND IN THE DIRECTION HE WAS POINTING. A STRANGER WAS WALKING UP THE HILL TOWARDS THEM.

"NO IDEA," SAID MARY, LOOKING AT HIM.

THE STRANGER APPROACHED. HE WAS A YOUNG MAN IN THE EARLY TWENTIES, HOOK-NOSED, WITH BLUE EYES AND SILKY PALE HAIR THAT BLEW ABOUT IN THE WIND - FOR HE WORE NO HAT. HE HAD ON A NORFOLK JACKET, ILL CUT AND OF CHEAP MATERIAL, AND A PAIR OF BAGGY GREY FLANNEL TROUSERS. HIS TIE WAS RED; HE WALKED WITHOUT A STICK.

"LOOKS AS IF HE WANTED TO TALK TO US," SAID GEORGE.

AND INDEED, THE YOUNG MAN WAS COMING STRAIGHT TOWARDS THEM. HE WALKED RAPIDLY AND WITH AN AIR OF DETERMINATION, AS THOUGH HE WERE ON SOME VERY IMPORTANT BUSINESS.

"WHAT AN EXTRAORDINARY FACE!" THOUGHT MARY, AS HE APPROACHED. "BUT HOW ILL HE LOOKS! SO THIN, SO PALE." BUT HIS EYES FORBADE HER TO FEEL PITY. THEY WERE BRIGHT WITH POWER.

HE CAME TO A HALT IN FRONT OF THEM DRAWING UP HIS THIN BODY VERY RIGIDLY, AS THOUGH HE WERE ON PARADE. THERE WAS DEFIANCE IN THE ATTITUDE, AN EARNEST DEFIANCE IN THE EXPRESSION OF HIS FACE. HE LOOKED AT THEM FIXEDLY WITH HIS BRIGHT EYES, TURNING FROM ONE TO THE OTHER.

"GOOD AFTERNOON," HE SAID. IT WAS COSTING HIM AN ENORMOUS EFFORT TO SPEAK. BUT SPEAK HE MUST, JUST BECAUSE OF THAT INSOLENT UNAWARENESS IN THEIR BLANK RICH FACES.

MARY ANSWERED FOR THE OTHERS. "GOOD AFTERNOON."

"I'M TRESPASSING HERE," SAID THE STRANGER. "DO YOU MIND?" THE SERIOUSNESS OF HIS DEFIANCE DEEPENED. HE LOOKED AT THEM SOMBRELY. THE YOUNG MEN WERE EXAMINING HIM FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE BARS, FROM A LONG WAY OFF, FROM THE VANTAGE GROUND OF ANOTHER CLASS. THEY HAD NOTICED HIS CLOTHES. THERE WAS HOSTILITY AND CONTEMPT IN THEIR EYES. THERE WAS ALSO A KIND OF FEAR. "I'M A TRESPASSER," HE REPEATED. HIS VOICE WAS RATHER SHRILL, BUT MUSICAL. HIS ACCENT WAS OF THE COUNTRY.

"ONE OF THE LOCAL CADS," GEORGE HAD BEEN THINKING.

"A TRESPASSER." IT WOULD HAVE BEEN MUCH EASIER, MUCH PLEASANTER TO SNEAK OUT UNOBSERVED. THAT WAS WHY HE HAD TO AFFRONT THEM.

THERE WAS A SILENCE. THE MILITARY MAN TURNED AWAY. HE DISSOCIATED HIMSELF FROM THE WHOLE UNPLEASANT BUSINESS. IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM, AFTER ALL. THE PARK BELONGED TO MARY'S FATHER. HE WAS ONLY A GUEST. "I'VE GOTTA MOTTA: ALWAYS MERRY AND BRIGHT," HE HUMMED TO HIMSELF, AS HE LOOKED OUT OVER THE BLACK TOWN IN THE VALLEY.

IT WAS GEORGE WHO BROKE THE SILENCE. "DO WE MIND?" HE SAID, REPEATING THE STRANGER'S WORDS. HIS FACE HAD GONE VERY RED.

"HOW ABSURD HE LOOKS!" THOUGHT MARY, AS SHE GLANCED AT HIM. "LIKE A BULL CALF. A BLUSHING BULL CALF."

"DO WE MIND?" DAMNED INSOLENT LITTLE BOUNDER! GEORGE WAS WORKING UP A RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION. "I SHOULD JUST THINK WE DO MIND. AND I'LL TROUBLE YOU TO . . ."

MARY BROKE OUT INTO LAUGHTER. "WE DON'T MIND AT ALL," SHE SAID. "NOT IN THE LEAST."

HER BROTHER'S FACE BECAME EVEN REDDER. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, MARY?" HE ASKED FURIOUSLY. "ALWAYS MERRY AND BRIGHT," HUMMED THE MILITARY MAN, MORE STARRILY DETACHED THAN EVER.) "THE PLACE IS PRIVATE."

"BUT WE DON'T MIND A BIT," SHE SAID, NOT LOOKING AT HER BROTHER, BUT AT THE STRANGER. "NOT A BIT, WHEN PEOPLE COME AND ARE FRANK ABOUT IT, LIKE YOU." SHE SMILED AT HIM; BUT THE YOUNG MAN'S FACE REMAINED AS PROUDLY SERIOUS AS EVER. LOOKING INTO THOSE SERIOUS BRIGHT EYES, SHE TOO SUDDENLY BECAME SERIOUS. IT WAS NO JOKE, SHE SAW ALL AT ONCE, NO JOKE. GRAVE ISSUES WERE INVOLVED, IMPORTANT ISSUES. BUT WHY GRAVE AND IN WHAT WAY IMPORTANT SHE DID NOT KNOW. SHE WAS ONLY OBSCURELY AND PROFOUNDLY AWARE THAT IT WAS NO JOKE. "GOOD-BYE," SHE SAID IN AN ALTERED VOICE, AND HELD OUT HER HAND.

THE STRANGER HESITATED FOR A SECOND, THEN TOOK IT. "GOOD-BYE," HE SAID. "I'LL GET OUT OF THE PARK AS QUICK AS I CAN." AND TURNING ROUND, HE WALKED RAPIDLY AWAY.

"WHAT THE DEVIL!" GEORGE BEGAN, TURNING ANGRILY ON HIS SISTER.

"OH, HOLD YOUR TONGUE!" SHE ANSWERED IMPATIENTLY.

"SHAKING HANDS WITH THE FELLOW," HE WENT ON PROTESTING.

"A BIT OF A PLEB, WASN'T HE?" PUT IN THE MILITARY FRIEND.

SHE LOOKED FROM ONE TO THE OTHER WITHOUT SPEAKING AND WALKED AWAY. WHAT LOUTS THEY WERE! THE TWO YOUNG MEN FOLLOWED.

"I WISH TO GOD MARY WOULD LEARN HOW TO BEHAVE HERSELF PROPERLY," SAID GEORGE, STILL FUMING.

THE MILITARY YOUNG MAN MADE DEPRECATING NOISES. HE WAS IN LOVE WITH HER; BUT HE HAD TO ADMIT THAT SHE WAS RATHER EMBARRASSINGLY UNCONVENTIONAL SOMETIMES. IT WAS HER ONLY DEFECT.

"SHAKING THAT BOUNDER'S HAND!" GEORGE WENT ON GRUMBLING.

THAT WAS THEIR FIRST MEETING. MARY THEN WAS TWENTY-TWO AND MARK RAMPION A YEAR YOUNGER. HE HAD FINISHED HIS SECOND YEAR AT SHEFFIELD UNIVERSITY AND WAS BACK AT STANTON FOR THE SUMMER VACATION. HIS MOTHER LIVED IN ONE OF A ROW OF COTTAGES NEAR THE STATION. SHE HAD A LITTLE PENSION - HER HUSBAND HAD BEEN A POSTMAN - AND MADE A FEW EXTRA SHILLINGS BY SEWING. MARK WAS A SCHOLARSHIP BOY. HIS YOUNGER AND LESS TALENTED BROTHERS WERE ALREADY AT WORK.

"A VERY REMARKABLE YOUNG MAN," THE RECTOR INSISTED MORE THAN ONCE IN THE COURSE OF HIS SKETCH OF MARK RAMPION'S CAREER, SOME FEW DAYS LATER.

THE OCCASION WAS A CHURCH BAZAAR AND CHARITABLE GARDEN PARTY AT THE RECTORY. SOME OF THE SUNDAY SCHOOL CHILDREN HAD ACTED A LITTLE PLAY IN THE OPEN AIR. THE DRAMATIST WAS MARK RAMPION.

"QUITE UNASSISTED," THE RECTOR ASSURED THE ASSEMBLED GENTRY. "AND WHAT'S MORE, THE LAD CAN DRAW. THEY'RE A LITTLE ECCENTRIC PERHAPS, HIS PICTURES, A LITTLE . . .AH. . ." HE HESITATED.

"WEIRD," SUGGESTED HIS DAUGHTER, WITH AN UPPER MIDDLE-CLASS SMILE, PROUD OF HER INCOMPREHENSION.

"BUT FULL OF TALENT," THE RECTOR CONTINUED. "THE BOY'S A REAL CYGNET OF TEES," HE ADDED WITH A SELF-CONSCIOUS, ALMOST GUILTY LAUGH. HE HAD A WEAKNESS FOR LITERARY ALLUSIONS. THE GENTRY SMILED PERFUNCTORILY.

THE PRODIGY WAS INTRODUCED. MARY RECOGNIZED THE TRESPASSER.

"I'VE MET YOU BEFORE," SHE SAID.

"POACHING YOUR VIEW."

"YOU'RE WELCOME TO IT." THE WORDS MADE HIM SMILE, A LITTLE IRONICALLY IT SEEMED TO HER. SHE BLUSHED, FEARFUL LEST SHE HAD SAID SOMETHING THAT MIGHT HAVE SOUNDED RATHER PATRONIZING. "BUT I SUPPOSE YOU'D GO ON POACHING WHETHER YOU WERE WELCOME OR NOT," SHE ADDED WITH A NERVOUS LITTLE LAUGH.

HE SAID NOTHING, BUT NODDED, STILL SMILING.

MARY'S FATHER STEPPED IN WITH CONGRATULATIONS. HIS PRAISES WENT TRAMPLING OVER THE DELICATE LITTLE PLAY LIKE A HERD OF ELEPHANTS. MARY WRITHED. IT WAS ALL WRONG, HOPELESSLY WRONG. SHE COULD FEEL THAT. BUT THE TROUBLE, AS SHE REALIZED, WAS THAT SHE COULDN'T HAVE SAID ANYTHING BETTER HERSELF. THE IRONIC SMILE STILL LINGERED ABOUT HIS LIPS. "WHAT FOOLS HE MUST THINK US ALL!" SHE SAID TO HERSELF.

AND NOW IT WAS HER MOTHER'S TURN. "JOLLY GOOD" WAS REPLACED BY "TOO CHARMING." WHICH WAS JUST AS BAD, JUST AS HOPELESSLY BESIDE THE POINT.

WHEN MRS. FELPHAM ASKED HIM TO TEA, RAMPION WANTED TO REFUSE THE INVITATION - BUT TO REFUSE IT WITHOUT BEING BOORISH OR OFFENSIVE. AFTER ALL, SHE MEANT WELL ENOUGH, POOR WOMAN. SHE WAS ONLY RATHER LUDICROUS. THE VILLAGE MAECENAS, IN PETTICOATS, PATRONIZING ART TO THE EXTENT OF TWO CUPS OF TEA AND A SLICE OF PLUM CAKE. THE RÔLE WAS A COMIC ONE. WHILE HE WAS HESITATING, MARY JOINED IN THE INVITATION.

"DO COME," SHE INSISTED. AND HER EYES, HER SMILE EXPRESSED A KIND OF RUEFUL AMUSEMENT AND AN APOLOGY. SHE SAW THE ABSURDITY OF THE SITUATION. "BUT I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT," SHE SEEMED TO SAY. "NOTHING AT ALL. EXCEPT APOLOGIZE."

"I SHOULD LIKE TO COME VERY MUCH," HE SAID, TURNING BACK TO MRS. FELPHAM.

THE APPOINTED DAY CAME. HIS TIE AS RED AS EVER, RAMPION PRESENTED HIMSELF. THE MEN WERE OUT FISHING; HE WAS RECEIVED BY MARY AND HER MOTHER. MRS. FELPHAM TRIED TO RISE TO THE OCCASION. THE VILLAGE SHAKESPEARE, IT WAS OBVIOUS, MUST BE INTERESTED IN THE DRAMA.

"DON'T YOU LOVE BARRIE'S PLAYS?" SHE ASKED. "I'M SO FOND OF THEM." SHE TALKED ON; RAMPION MADE NO COMMENT. IT WAS ONLY LATER, WHEN MRS. FELPHAM HAD GIVEN HIM UP AS A BAD JOB AND HAD COMMISSIONED MARY TO SHOW HIM ROUND THE GARDEN, THAT HE OPENED HIS LIPS.

"I'M AFRAID YOUR MOTHER THOUGHT ME VERY RUDE," HE SAID, AS THEY WALKED ALONG THE SMOOTH FLAGGED PATHS BETWEEN THE ROSES.

"OF COURSE NOT," MARY PROTESTED WITH AN EXCESSIVE HEARTINESS.

RAMPION LAUGHED. "THANK YOU," HE SAID. "BUT OF COURSE SHE DID. BECAUSE I WAS RUDE. I WAS RUDE IN ORDER THAT I SHOULDN'T BE RUDER. BETTER SAY NOTHING THAN SAY WHAT I THOUGHT ABOUT BARRIE."

"DON'T YOU LIKE HIS PLAYS?"

"DO I LIKE THEM? I?" HE STOPPED AND LOOKED AT HER. THE BLOOD RUSHED UP INTO HER CHEEKS; WHAT HAD SHE SAID? "YOU CAN ASK THAT HERE." HE WAVED HIS HAND AT THE FLOWERS, THE LITTLE POOL WITH THE FOUNTAIN, THE HIGH TERRACE, WITH THE STONECROPS AND THE AUBRETIAS GROWING FROM BETWEEN THE STONES, THE GREY, SEVERE GEORGIAN HOUSE BEYOND. "BUT COME DOWN WITH ME INTO STANTON AND ASK ME THERE. WE'RE SITTING ON THE HARD REALITY DOWN THERE, NOT WITH AN AIR CUSHION BETWEEN US AND THE FACTS. YOU MUST HAVE AN ASSURED FIVE POUNDS A WEEK AT LEAST, BEFORE YOU CAN BEGIN TO ENJOY BARRIE. IF YOU'RE SITTING ON THE BARE FACTS, HE'S AN INSULT."

THERE WAS A SILENCE. THEY WALKED UP AND DOWN AMONG THE ROSES - THOSE ROSES WHICH MARY WAS FEELING THAT SHE OUGHT TO DISCLAIM, TO APOLOGIZE FOR. BUT A DISCLAIMER, AN APOLOGY WOULD BE AN OFFENCE. A BIG RETRIEVER PUPPY CAME FRISKING CLUMSILY ALONG THE PATH TOWARDS THEM. SHE CALLED ITS NAME; THE BEAST STOOD UP ON ITS HIND LEGS AND PAWED AT HER.

"I THINK I LIKE ANIMALS BETTER THAN PEOPLE," SHE SAID, AS SHE PROTECTED HERSELF FROM ITS PONDEROUS PLAYFULNESS.

"WELL, AT LEAST THEY'RE GENUINE, THEY DON'T LIVE ON AIR CUSHIONS LIKE THE SORT OF PEOPLE YOU HAVE TO DO WITH," SAID RAMPION, BRINGING OUT THE OBSCURE RELEVANCE OF HER REMARK TO WHAT HAD BEEN SAID BEFORE. MARY WAS AMAZED AND DELIGHTED BY THE WAY HE UNDERSTOOD.

"I'D LIKE TO KNOW MORE OF YOUR SORT OF PEOPLE," SHE SAID; "GENUINE PEOPLE, PEOPLE WITHOUT AIR CUSHIONS."

"WELL, DON'T IMAGINE I'M GOING TO DO THE COOK'S GUIDE FOR YOU," HE ANSWERED IRONICALLY. "WE'RE NOT A ZOO, YOU KNOW; WE'RE NOT NATIVES IN QUAINT COSTUME, OR ANYTHING OF THAT SORT. IF YOU WANT TO GO SLUMMING, APPLY TO THE RECTOR."

SHE FLUSHED VERY RED. "YOU KNOW I WASN'T MEANING THAT," SHE PROTESTED.

"ARE YOU SURE?" HE ASKED HER. "WHEN ONE'S RICH, IT'S DIFFICULT NOT TO MEAN THAT. A PERSON LIKE YOU SIMPLY CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT IT IS NOT TO BE RICH. LIKE A FISH. HOW CAN A FISH IMAGINE WHAT LIFE OUT OF THE WATER IS LIKE?"

"BUT CAN'T ONE DISCOVER, IF ONE TRIES?"

"THERE'S A GREAT GULF," HE ANSWERED.

"IT CAN BE CROSSED."

"YES, I SUPPOSE IT CAN BE CROSSED." BUT HIS TONE WAS DUBIOUS.

Title: Tickets Please Author: D H Lawrence Book: The Complete Short Stories, vol II Publication: Heinemann, London, 1955. H John Thomas K Annie L Girl conductors (generic) M driver Y passengers (generic) Z "we"

There is in the Midlands a single-line tramway system which boldly leaves the county town and plunges off into the black, industrial country-side, up hill and down dale, through the long, ugly villages of workmen's houses, over canals and railways, past churches perched high and nobly over the smoke and shadows, through stark, grimy, cold little market-places, tilting away in a rush past cinemas and shops down to the hollow where the collieries are, then up again, past a little rural church, under the ash trees, on in a rush to the terminus, the last little ugly place of industry, the cold little town that shivers on the edge of the wild, gloomy country beyond. There the green and creamy coloured tram-car seems to pause and purr with curious satisfaction. But in a few minutes - the clock on the turret of the Co-operative Wholesale Society's Shops gives the time - away it starts once more on the adventure. Again there are the reckless swoops downhill, bouncing the loops: again the chilly wait in the hill-top market-place: again the breathless slithering round the precipitous drop under the church: again the patient halts at the loops, waiting for the outcoming car: so on and on, for two long hours, till at last the city looms beyond the fat gas-works, the narrow factories draw near, we are in the sordid streets of the great town, once more we sidle to a standstill at our terminus, abashed by the great crimson and creamcoloured city cars, but still perky, jaunty, somewhat dare-devil, green as a jaunty sprig of parsley out of a black colliery garden.

To ride on these cars is always an adventure. Since we are in war-time, the drivers are men unfit for active service: cripples and hunchbacks. So they have the spirit of the devil in them. The ride becomes a steeplechase. Hurray! we have leapt in a clear jump over the canal bridge - now for the four-lane corner. With a shriek and a trail of sparks we are clear again. To be sure, a tram often leaps the rails - but what matter! It sits in a ditch till other trams come to haul it out. It is quite common for a car, packed with one solid mass of living people, to come to a dead halt in the midst of unbroken blackness, the heart of nowhere on a dark night, and for the driver and the girl conductor to call: "All get off - car's on fire!" Instead, however, of rushing out in a panic, the passengers stolidly reply: "Get on - get on! We're not coming out. We're stopping where we are. Push on, George." So till flames actually appear.

The reason for this reluctance to dismount is that the nights are howlingly cold, black, and windswept, and a car is a haven of refuge. From village to village the miners travel, for a change of cinema, of girl, of pub. The trams are desperately packed. Who is going to risk himself in the black gulf outside, to wait perhaps an hour for another tram, then to see the forlorn notice 'Depot Only', because there is something wrong! Or to greet a unit of three bright cars all so tight with people that they sail past with a howl of derision. Trams that pass in the night.

This, the most dangerous tram-service in England, as the authorities themselves declare, with pride, is entirely conducted by girls, and driven by rash young men, a little crippled, or by delicate young men, who creep forward in terror. The girls are fearless young hussies. In their ugly blue uniform, skirts up to their knees, shapeless old peaked caps on their heads, they have all the sang-froid of an old non-commissioned officer. With a tram packed with howling colliers, roaring hymns downstairs and a sort of antiphony of obscenities upstairs, the lasses are perfectly at their ease. They pounce on the youths who try to evade their ticket-machine. They push off the men at the end of their distance. They are not going to be done in the eye - not they. They fear nobody - and everybody fears them.

"Hello, Annie!"

"Hello, Ted!"

"Oh, mind my corn, Miss Stone. It's my belief you've got a heart of stone, for you've trod on it again."

"You should keep it in your pocket," replies Miss Stone, and she goes sturdily upstairs in her high boots.

"Tickets, please."

She is peremptory, suspicious, and ready to hit first. She can hold her own against ten thousand. The step of that tram-car is her Thermopylae.

Therefore, there is a certain wild romance aboard these cars - and in the sturdy bosom of Annie herself. The time for soft romance is in the morning, between ten o'clock and one, when things are rather slack: that is, except market-day and Saturday. Thus Annie has time to look about her. Then she often hops off her car and into a shop where she has spied something, while the driver chats in the main road. There is very good feeling between the girls and the drivers. Are they not companions in peril, shipments aboard this careering vessel of a tram-car, for ever rocking on the waves of a stormy land.

Then, also, during the easy hours, the inspectors are most in evidence. For some reason, everybody employed in this tram-service is young: there are no grey heads. It would not do. Therefore the inspectors are of the right age, and one, the chief, is also good-looking. See him stand on a wet, gloomy morning, in his long oilskin, his peaked cap well down over his eyes, waiting to board a car. His face is ruddy, his small brown moustache is weathered, he has a faint impudent smile. Fairly tall and agile, even in his waterproof, he springs aboard a car and greets Annie.

"Hello, Annie! Keeping the wet out ?"

"Trying to."

There are only two people in the car. Inspecting is soon over. Then for a long and impudent chat on the foot-board, a good, easy, twelve-mile chat.

The inspector's name is John Thomas Raynor - always called John Thomas, except sometimes, in malice, Coddy. His face sets in fury when he is addressed, from a distance, with this abbreviation. There is considerable scandal about John Thomas in half a dozen villages. He flirts with the girl conductors in the morning, and walks out with them in the dark night, when they leave their tram-car at the depot. Of course, the girls quit the service frequently. Then he flirts and walks out with the newcomer: always providing she is sufficiently attractive, and that she will consent to walk. It is remarkable, however, that most of the girls are quite comely, they are all young, and this roving life aboard the car gives them a sailor's dash and recklessness. What matter how they behave when the ship is in port? To-morrow they will be aboard again.

Annie, however, was something of a Tartar, and her sharp tongue had kept John Thomas at arm's length for many months. Perhaps, therefore, she liked him all the more: for he always came up smiling, with impudence. She watched him vanquish one girl, then another. She could tell by the movement of his mouth and eyes, when he flirted with her in the morning, that he had been walking out with this lass, or the other, the night before. A fine cock-of-the-walk he was. She could sum him up pretty well.

In this subtle antagonism they knew each other like old friends, they were as shrewd with one another almost as man and wife. But Annie had always kept him sufficiently at arm's length. Besides, she had a boy of her own.

The Statutes fair, however, came in November, at Bestwood. It happened that Annie had the Monday night off. It was a drizzling ugly night, yet she dressed herself up and went to the fair-ground. She was alone, but she expected soon to find a pal of some sort.

The roundabouts were veering round and grinding out their music, the side-shows were making as much commotion as possible. In the coconut shies there were no coconuts, but artificial war-time substitutes, which the lads declared were fastened into the irons. There was a sad decline in brilliance and luxury. None the less, the ground was muddy as ever, there was the same crush, the press of faces lighted up by the flares and the electric lights, the same smell of naphtha and a few potatoes, and of electricity.

Who should be the first to greet Miss Annie on the show ground but John Thomas. He had a black overcoat buttoned up to his chin, and a tweed cap pulled down over his brows, his face between was ruddy and smiling and handy as ever. She knew so well the way his mouth moved.

She was very glad to have a 'boy'. To be at the Statutes without a fellow was no fun. Instantly, like the gallant he was, he took her on the Dragons, grim-toothed, roundabout switchbacks. It was not nearly so exciting as a tram-car actually. But, then, to be seated in a shaking, green dragon, uplifted above the sea of bubble faces, careering in a rickety fashion in the lower heavens, whilst John Thomas leaned over her, his cigarette in his mouth, was after all the right style. She was a plump, quick, alive little creature. So she was quite excited and happy.

John Thomas made her stay on for the next round. And therefore she could hardly for shame repulse him when he put his arm round her and drew her a little nearer to him, in a very warm and cuddly manner. Besides, he was fairly discreet, he kept his movement as hidden as possible. She looked down, and saw that his red, clean hand was out of sight of the crowd.

And they knew each other so well. So they warmed up to the fair.

After the dragons they went on the horses. John Thomas paid each time, so she could but be complaisant. He, of course, sat astride on the outer horse - named 'Black Bess' - and she sat sideways, towards him, on the inner horse--named 'Wildfire'. But of course John Thomas was not going to sit discreetly on 'Black Bess', holding the brass bar. Round they spun and heaved, in the light. And round he swung on his wooden steed, flinging one leg across her mount, and perilously tipping up and down, across the space, half lying back, laughing at her. He was perfectly happy; she was afraid her hat was on one side, but she was excited.

He threw quoits on a table, and won for her two large, pale blue hat-pins. And then, hearing the noise of the cinemas, announcing another performance, they climbed the boards and went in.

Of course, during these performances pitch darkness falls from time to time, when the machine goes wrong. Then there is a wild whooping, and a loud smacking of simulated kisses. In these moments John Thomas drew Annie towards him. After all, he had a wonderfully warm, cosy way of holding a girl with his arm, he seemed to make such a nice fit. And, after all, it was pleasant to be so held: so very comforting and cosy and nice. He leaned over her and she felt his breath on her hair; she knew he wanted to kiss her on the lips. And, after all, he was so warm and she fitted in to him so softly. After all, she wanted him to touch her lips.

But the light sprang up; she also started electrically, and put her hat straight. He left his arm lying nonchalantly behind her. Well, it was fun, it was exciting to be at the Statutes with John Thomas.

When the cinema was over they went for a walk across the dark, damp fields. He had all the arts of love-making. He was especially good at holding a girl, when he sat with her on a stile in the black, drizzling darkness. He seemed to be holding her in space, against his own warmth and gratification. And his kisses were soft and slow and searching.

So Annie walked out with John Thomas, though she kept her own boy dangling in the distance. Some of the tram-girls chose to be huffy. But there, you must take things as you find them, in this life.

There was no mistake about it, Annie liked John Thomas a good deal. She felt so rich and warm in herself whenever he was near. And John Thomas really liked Annie, more than usual. The soft, melting way in which she could flow into a fellow, as if she melted into his very bones, was something rare and good. He fully appreciated this.

But with a developing acquaintance there began a developing intimacy. Annie wanted to consider him a person, a man; she wanted to take an intelligent interest in him, and to have an intelligent response. She did not want a mere nocturnal presence, which was what he was so far. And she prided herself that he could not leave her.

Here she made a mistake. John Thomas intended to remain a nocturnal presence; he had no idea of becoming an all-round individual to her. When she started to take an intelligent interest in him and his life and his character, he sheered off. He hated intelligent interest. And he knew that the only way to stop it was to avoid it. The possessive female was aroused in Annie. So he left her.

It is no use saying she was not surprised. She was at first startled, thrown out of her count. For she had been so very sure of holding him. For a while she was staggered, and everything became uncertain to her. Then she wept with fury, indignation, desolation, and misery. Then she had a spasm of despair. And then, when he came, still impudently, on to her car, still familiar, but letting her see by the movement of his head that he had gone away to somebody else for the time being, and was enjoying pastures new, then she determined to have her own back.

She had a very shrewd idea what girls John Thomas had taken out. She went to Nora Purdy. Nora was a tall, rather pale, but well-built girl, with beautiful yellow hair. She was rather secretive.

"Hey!" said Annie, accosting her; then softly, "Who's John Thomas on with now?"

"I don't know," said Nora.

"Why, tha does," said Annie, ironically lapsing into dialect. "Tha knows as well as I do."

"Well, I do, then," said Nora. "It isn't me, so don't bother."

"It's Cissy Meakin, isn't it?"

"It is, for all I know."

"Hasn't he got a face on him!" said Annie. "I don't half like his cheek. I could knock him off the foot-board when he comes round at me."

"He'll get dropped on one of these days," said Nora.

"Ay, he will, when somebody makes up their mind to drop it on him. I should like to see him taken down a peg or two, shouldn't you?"

"I shouldn't mind," said Nora.

"You've got quite as much cause to as I have," said Annie. "But we'll drop on him one of these days, my girl. What? Don't you want to?"

"I don't mind," said Nora.

But as a matter of fact, Nora was much more vindictive than Annie.

Title: The Memoirs of a Survivor Author: Doris Lessing Publication: Octagon, London, 1974. K Emily L little girl N first person narrator X "so many people" Z the observers

What happened next was June.

One afternoon, when Emily had been home with me and Hugo a full day and a night, had not gone at all to the communal household, a little girl came to the door asking for her. I say 'a little girl' conscious of the absurdity of the phrase with its associations of freshness and promise. But, after all, she was one: a very thin child, with strong prominent bones. Her eyes were pale blue. She had pale hair that looked dirty hanging to her shoulders and half-hiding an appealing little face. She was small for her age, could have been eight or nine, but was in fact eleven. In other words, she was two years younger than Emily, who was a young woman and loved - precariously - by the king, Gerald. But her breasts were stubby little points, and her body altogether in the chrysalis stage.

"Where is Emily?" she demanded. Her voice - but I shall only say that it was at the extreme away from 'good English', the norm once used for announcements, news, or by officialdom. I could hardly understand her, her accent was so degraded. I am not talking about the words she used, which were always sharp enough when one had uncoded them, were stubborn and strong attempts to lay hold of meanings and ideas every bit as clear and good as those expressed in tutored speech. The peremptoriness of the 'Where is Emily?' was not from rudeness; but because of the effort she had to put into it, the determination to be understood and to be led to Emily, or that Emily should be brought out to her. It was, too, because she was a person who had not been brought up to believe she had rights. Yet she set herself towards goals, she wanted things and achieved them: she would reach her Emily without the help of words, skills, manners - without rights.

"She's here," I said. "And please come in."

She followed me, stiff with the determination that had got her here. Her eyes were everywhere, and the thought came into my mind that she was pricing what she saw. Or, rather, valuing, since 'pricing' was somewhat out-of-date.

When she saw Emily, today a languid suffering young woman on a chair by the window, her two bare feet set side by side on her attendant yellow beast, the child's face lit with a heartbreakingly sweet smile all confidence and love, and she ran forward, forgetting herself. And Emily, seeing her, smiled and forgot her troubles - love-troubles and goodness knows what else, and the two girls went into the tiny room that was Emily's. Two girls in a young girls' friendship, despite one being already a woman, and one still a child, with a child's face and body. But not, as I discovered, with a child's imaginings, for she was in love with Gerald. And, after having suffered jealousy because of the favourite Emily, by turns hating and denigrating her or feverishly and slavishly admiring her, now she was her sister in sorrow when Gerald was being loved, served, by another girl, or girls.

It was morning when she came; and at lunchtime the two emerged from the bedroom and Emily asked with her unfailing visitor's manners: "If you don't mind, I would like to ask June to have a sandwich or something."

Later in the day the two tired of the stuffy room, and came into the living-room, and sat on the floor on either side of Hugo and talked while they patted and petted him. June was wanting advice and information on all kinds of practical matters, and particularly about the garden, which was Emily's responsibility, since Emily understood about all that kind of thing.

She did? I knew nothing of this in Emily, who with me had not showed the slightest interest in such matters, not even in the potted plants.

I sat listening to their talk, reconstructing from it the life of their community . . . how very odd it was that all over our cities, side by side with citizens who still used electric light, drew water for which they had paid from taps, expected their rubbish to be collected, - were these houses which were as if the technological revolution had never occurred at all. The big house fifteen minutes' walk away had been an old people's home. It had large grounds. Shrubs and flowerbeds had been cleared and now there were only vegetables. There was even a little shed in which a few fowls were kept - another illegality that went on everywhere, and to which the authorities turned a blind eye. The household bought - or acquired in some way - flour, dried legumes, honey. But they were about to get a hive of bees. They also bought the substitutes 'chicken' and 'beef' and 'lamb' and concocted the usual unappetising meals with them. Unappetising only to some: there were plenty of young people who had eaten nothing else in their lives, and who now preferred the substitute to the real thing. As I've said, we learn to like what we can get.

The place was a conglomeration of little workshops: they made soap and candles and wove materials and dyed them; they cured leather; they dried and preserved food; they reconstructed and made furniture.

And so they all lived, Gerald's gang, thirty of them now, with pressure always on them to expand, since so many people wanted to join them and had to be refused: there was no space.

It was not that I was surprised to learn of all this. I had heard it all before in various forms. For instance, there had been a community of young adults and small children not far away where even the water system and sewage had broken down. They had made a privy in the garden, a pit with a packing-case over it, and a can of ashes for the smell and the flies. They bought water from the door, or tapped the mains as they could, and cadged baths from friends: there was a time when my bathroom was being used by them. But that group drifted off somewhere. All over our city were these pockets of life reverting to the primitive, the hand-to-mouth. Part of a house . . . then the whole house . . . a group of houses . . . a street . . . an area of streets. People looking down from a high building saw how these nuclei of barbarism took hold and spread. At first the observers were all sharp hostility and fear. They made the sounds of disapproval, of rectitude, but they were in fact learning as they, the still fortunate, watched these savages from whose every finger sprouted new skills and talents. In some parts of the city whole suburbs had reverted. Miles of people, all growing their potatoes and onions and carrots and cabbages and setting guard on them day and night, raising chickens and ducks, making their sewage into compost, buying or selling water, using empty rooms or an empty house to breed rabbits or even a pig - people no longer in neat little families, but huddled together in groups and clans whose structure evolved under the pressures of necessity. At night such an area withdrew itself into a dangerous obscurity where no one dared go, with its sparce or absent street lighting, its potholed pavements and rutted streets, the windows showing the minuscule flickering of candles or the shallow glow of some improvised light on a wall or a ceiling. Even in the daytime, to walk there seeing wary faces half-visible behind shutters, knowing that bows and arrows, catapults, or even guns were held trained for use if you transgressed - such an expedition was like a foray into enemy territory, or into the past of the human race.

Yet even at that late stage, there was a level of our society which managed to live as if nothing much was happening - nothing irreparable. The ruling class - but that was a dead phrase, so they said; very well, then, the kind of person who ran things, administered, sat on councils and committees, made decisions. Talked. The bureaucracy. An international bureaucracy. But when has it not been true? - that the section of a society which gets the most out of it maintains in itself, and for as long as it can in others, an illusion of security, permanence, order.

It seems to me that this has something to do, at bottom, with conscience, a vestigial organ in humanity which still demands that there should be some sort of justice or equity; feels that it is intolerable (this is felt by most people, somewhere, or at least occasionally) that some people do well while others starve and fail. This is the most powerful of mechanisms for, to begin with, the maintaining of a society, and then its undermining, its rotting, its collapse . . . yes of course this is not new, has been going on throughout history, very likely and as far as we know. Has there been a time in our country when the ruling class was not living inside its glass bell of respectability or of wealth, shutting its eyes to what went on outside? Could there be any real difference when this 'ruling class' used words like justice, fair play, equity, order, or even socialism? - used them, might even have believed in them, or believed in them for a time; but meanwhile everything fell to pieces while still, as always, the administrators lived cushioned against the worst, trying to talk away, wish away, legislate away the worst - for to admit that it was happening was to admit themselves useless, admit the extra security they enjoyed was theft and not payment for services rendered . . .

And yet in a way everybody played a part in this conspiracy that nothing much was happening - or that it was happening, but one day things would go into reverse and hey presto! back we would be in the good old days. Which, though? That was a matter of temperament: if you have nothing, you are free to choose among dreams and fantasies. I fancied a rather elegant sort of feudalism - without wars of course, or injustice. Emily, having never experienced or suffered it, would have liked the Age of Affluence back again.

Title: Gin and Goldenrod Author: Malcolm Lowry Book: Hear us O Lord from Heaven thy dwelling place Publication: Penguin, Harmondsworth, 1969 (first published US 1961) L Sigbjorn Wilderness M Primrose O one of young couple riding P other of young couple riding

It was a warm, still, sunless day in mid-August. The sky did not appear so much cloudy as merely a uniform pearly gray, like the inside of a seashell, Primrose said. The sea, where they saw it through the motionless drooping trees, was gray too, the bay looking like a polished metal mirror in which the reflections of the lead-gray mountains were clear and motionless. In the forest it was very quiet, as though all the birds and small creatures had abandoned it, and the two figures of the man and his wife walking along the narrow footpath, and their little cat bounding along beside them, seemed the only things alive, so that when a vermilion and black and white garter snake wriggled off into the dry leaves and twigs it sounded loud as a deer crashing through the bracken.

Primrose was looking everywhere for the pair of goldfinches, whose nest, with its exquisite pale blue-white eggs, they had found in a trammon tree only six feet from the ground in May, and which they had watched all summer with delight, but their birds were nowhere to be seen.

"The dear goldfinches have gone to Alcapancingo," she said.

"Not so early . . . They're just gone because they don't like it here any more, with all these new houses going up and their old haunts destroyed."

"Don't be gloomy, Sig darling. It'll be all right."

Primrose and Sigbjørn Wilderness were now approaching the few houses on the fringe of the forest. The cat, black and white, with platinum whiskers, sat sniffing at a clump of spring beauty. He would go no further. Then he vanished. Sigbjørn and Primrose came out of the woods into a place where the ground was being cleared, then as by common consent turned off before they reached the store that had come in sight - which was being partly dismantled in order to create a larger one - taking another side path to the left. This transverse path had also once led through the woods, but the ground on one side had been cleared for building. The bushes had been allowed to remain, and it was still a pleasant leafy way of thimbleberries and salmonberries, that in winter, in frost, in moonlight, made a trillion moons.

It brought them out abruptly on a dusty main highway, upon either side of which, as far as the eye could reach, lay sections of brown drainpipe and where a signpost said: To Dark Rosslyn.

Sigbjørn's emotions now were entirely those of the cat's - or what the cat's would have been had he had the poor sense to accompany them this far: terror, fear, distrust, anger, anguish, and a hatred so pure in its intensity it was almost beautiful to experience. It was mid-afternoon, and Sunday, and now the cars honked and whizzed by in an all but continuous uproar, each sending up its private cyclone of dust from the road, against which the two had constantly to pause and turn their backs. The bus for Dark Rosslyn came past, snarling like a wild beast crashed by, leaving a backwash of air in which the trees thrashed for some moments. For there were trees again now, on either side of the road, for a short distance, then where there had been the woodland, through which they would have continued their path, there was a huge area of rubble, from which stumps of trees, blackened, hollow, some in cactus shapes, protruded as if blasted by lightning. Near at hand, on the highway, with no thought of privacy, some new houses had already been built, but owing to the law, no trees were left near them. Nevertheless, the destruction of the forest had opened up a magnificent view of the mountains and the inlet, that had been invisible from the road before, and you would have thought that all this evidence of growth and rebuilding would have been productive of anything but despair. On either side of the road a shallow ditch fell away to what, in other seasons, was a small brook, now dry and choked with weeds. Primrose, searching for wildflowers wherever a trace of moisture remained in these ditches, was wandering back and forth across the road, or even pausing vaguely in the middle to search the banks on either side. At these times Sigbjørn would shout at her or even seize her by the waist or shoulder and push her into the side.

"Look out !" "My God, there's a car - " "Primrose ! There's a - " "I know it. Look, darling - " and she was off again, swift and graceful in her scarlet corduroy slacks.

Sigbjørn's anxiety shifted now, as for the moment she walked in single file ahead of him - though every time a car went by he almost jumped into the ditch himself - to their goal in Dark Rosslyn. He doubted his ability to find it in the maze of roads that wandered around the hillside at the edge of the town, wondered if he would recognize the house again, through the heavy dolorous recollections of the previous Sunday, and feeling in his right side still the pain of the fall in the black woods, he began to sweat. Now he wished to take off his shirt, knowing that if he said so Primrose would say brightly, "Well, why don't you?" and somehow unable to do so on this main highway.

They passed the office of the Rosslyn Park Real Estate and Development Company: Rosslyn Park, Enquire Here, Scenic View-Lots. Approved for National Housing Loans. Cash or Terms: past the hideous slash of felled trees, bare, broken, ugly land crossed by dusty roads and dotted with new ugly houses where only a few years ago rested the beautiful forest they had loved.

Look Out for Men! said a sign: Soft Shoulders: Keep away: Private: and now the road was half torn up and the ditches where the brook had been and the wildflowers of spring once grew were being filled in with a pipe line, bringing water and all the commercial comforts and plumbing of civilization to their once wild and lonely haven. Here, in a particularly vicious slash, where some rank thistles and huge dandelions grew, they saw their goldfinches feeding among the thistles, and paused. Among them was a new bird, like a tiny yellow and black striped sparrow, and Primrose ran across the road again, followed by Sigbjørn, looking both ways at once.

"Look! It's a pine martin." "A martin's a kind of rat."

"Yes, that's right; but there's a bird called a purple martin." "You mean a pine siskin."

"Of course. But what's it doing here on the coast? They only live in the high altitudes. Oh, isn't it sweet."

The pine siskin darted away and they walked on past, now, thank God, the end of ugsome Rosslyn Park and the little new "coffee bar" - Sigbjørn glanced at it with pure hatred, it was Sunday, but anyhow you could only buy Coca-Cola and Seven-Up - the big new schoolhouse, a great concrete block of mnemonic anguish, and reached a short stretch still comparatively unspoiled. What did he mean by this - "comparatively unspoiled"? Were one's emotions of horror even quite the truth? Canada was indeed a pretty large country to despoil. But her legends, nearly all her most valuable and heroic history was the history of spoliation, in one form or another. But man was not a bird, or a wild animal, however much he might live in the wilderness. The conquering of wilderness, whether in fact or in his mind, was part of his own process of self-determination. The plight was an old-fashioned one, that had become true again: progress was the enemy, it was not making man more happy or secure. Ruination and vulgarization had become a habit. Nor - though they had found a sort of peace, a sort of heaven, and were now losing it again, - had they, very consciously, been looking for peace. Nevertheless he could not help thinking of the green loveliness of their lost woodland, etc. etc., and all these conflicting clichés buzzed in his head as he followed Primrose, who had found a deep spot where a pool of water from the brook still lingered and here, shaded from the dust and heat of summer, a mass of wild blue forget-me-nots shone fresh and bright among damp emerald moss and near it some American brooklime.

But Sigbjørn could not climb down and pick them for her, he could not, even, remember the name, though he himself had first found and identified this latter flower in June. She didn't want them now, Primrose said, they would be all wilted before they even reached Dark Rosslyn; perhaps he could pick her some on the way back. And now she had seen some goldenrod, growing among a great bank of pearly everlasting; the first goldenrod of the year. They would pick that on their way back too.

"I'm even more doubtful now," he said.

"Of what?"

"That I can find the house."

"But I phoned the taxi driver this morning. You told me to. I said we'd be along this afternoon. He knows where it is, doesn't he?"

"I don't think I can face him . . . With his knowing grin," he added.

"There's the taxi driver's house just ahead, honey. Come on, it'll soon be over now."

"Besides, I wanted to save money," Sigbjørn said.

"Save!"

"Don't be angry. I'm sure I can find it," Sigbjørn said, standing at the crossroads. "It's just up there and off to the left, I think."

"Well . . . how far is it?" Primrose said dubiously.

"Not too far. Well - perhaps it's a fair distance but if we don't find it we can always come back and get the taxi."

Primrose hesitated, then took his arm and they went off up the side road. The road was unpaved and dusty but at least they were rid of the momentous traffic and the taxi driver, and Sigbjørn felt rather less sick and almost hopeful. But the intrusion of the taxi driver at all disturbed and confused him. Why had he told Primrose to phone the taxi driver? He thought he remembered him in relation to last Sunday but the connection between him and the object of their visit was vague. Nonetheless he had been sufficiently conscious of such a connection to think it worth getting Primrose to phone. And then, there was always the question that he'd thought he would never have been able to make it walking at all.

The road went downhill briefly toward the sea, turned sharply right, then left again and now ahead of them was a long steep hill. He gazed at it in dismay, for it didn't look familiar at all. Had he really come this way? Or should he have made that other turn off to the left, as Primrose suggested was more likely. He hesitated, listening to the distant sound of traffic: the klaxons sounded like blended mouthorgans.

"No, I'm sure it's this way. Come on," Sigbjørn said, and they started up the hill doggedly. Now, the traffic behind, a suburban dementia launched itself at them: flat ugly houses, the cleared land, stricken and bare, left without a tree to give shade or privacy or beauty; or strewn with half burned stumps and rubbish. Wy Wurk, Wy Wurry, Amble Inn (again), Dew Drop Inn, Dunwoiken, Kozy Kot, crowned by the masterpiece: Aunty So-Shall. But behind each one of these bourgeois horrors was still the dark forest, waiting, one hoped, for revenge.

They trudged slowly up the hill and now Sigbjørn really began to sweat, for it was hot here, with a sultry damp heat that made the air feel thick and hard to breathe, and his side was hurting again. He looked anxiously back at Primrose who had removed her scarlet corduroy jacket and was panting and scowling behind him, for though she loved to walk she hated climbing hills, and at this moment she meant him to know it. Sigbjørn went ahead, but he could already see that it was as she said: the road wound directly away from Dark Rosslyn and back toward home. But there, too, just at the turn, was a rustic wood arch at the left which said Whytecliffe Resort. Riding Academy, Horses by the Day or Hour. Refreshments.

Sigbjørn waited unhappily until Primrose caught up with him.

"Well," she said. "Did you go to Whytecliffe?"

"I don't think so. No."

"Surely you'd remember that thing." She pointed to the arch.

"I don't know . . . but we might as well go and see."

"You go then. I'll sit here and catch my breath."

Tall cedars, Douglas firs, grew beyond the arch as he went up the bridle path, and it was a little cooler, a breath from the sea below freshened the air, and now he could see the bay beneath him, and for some reason this made him feel better. There, below him and to the right were the stables; people were getting on and off horses, calling to each other, and a young couple mounted and paced up the hill toward him: "What do I do?" "You just pull on the right rein and it'll do it for you." And that was true too, once on it, the horse would do everything for you, even to throwing you off. It was hard to be angry with a place where you could hire horses, or see a riding academy as a symptom of modernity. He and Primrose always talked of riding together, though they never had. And how much better the money might have been spent here, with her - well, it was no use looking, he knew it wasn't here he'd been the previous Sunday, and he turned back.

"Isn't this where Greenslade lives now - at Whytecliffe somewhere," she said when he returned to the arch.

"I think so . . . Yes."

"We might go and find him then. He'll know where it is."

"No!" Sigbjørn said. "No. I'll find it, for Christ's sake . . . or we'll get the taxi driver. Come on."

"But Greenslade was with you. He'll know - "

"No." Sigbjørn started distractedly down the hill. "You said no yourself. You said you'd rather be in hell than meet Greenslade again."

"He's a horrible man."

"Yapping about the benefits of civilization. How easy it is for people to talk about the benefits of civilization, who've never known the far greater benefits of not having anything to do with it at all."

Halfway down the hill Primrose suddenly took his arm.

"Look, Sigbjørn, there - those birds with the white stripes on their tails."

"Vesper sparrows?"

"No. They don't have so much white. Oh, what are they?"

"Pipits. Some kind of pipits. American pipits," Sigbjørn said, as the birds lighted on a nearby alder tree. "Yeah. See how they're bobbing their tails?"

"How clever you are - " Primrose held his arm tightly to her side. "And brave too. I think you're swell. I know this is perfectly bloody for you."

"Thank you. I think you're very fine too. But all this isn't easy to do. And I don't see why I'm doing it."

"But you said you wanted to make a new start, you said it was to be - "

"Yes it was. It is."

Title: The Moon and Sixpence Author: Somerset Maugham Publication: Heinemann, London, 1935 (first published 1919)

THE AVENUE DE CLICHY WAS CROWDED AT THAT HOUR, AND A LIVELY FANCY MIGHT SEE IN THE PASSERS-BY THE PERSONAGES OF MANY A SORDID ROMANCE. THERE WERE CLERKS AND SHOP-GIRLS; OLD FELLOWS WHO MIGHT HAVE STEPPED OUT OF THE PAGES OF HONORÉ DE BALZAC; MEMBERS, MALE AND FEMALE, OF THE PROFESSIONS WHICH MAKE THEIR PROFIT OF THE FRAILTIES OF MANKIND. THERE IS IN THE STREETS OF THE POORER QUARTERS OF PARIS A THRONGING VITALITY WHICH EXCITES THE BLOOD AND PREPARES THE SOUL FOR THE UNEXPECTED.

"DO YOU KNOW PARIS WELL?" I ASKED.

"NO. WE CAME ON OUR HONEYMOON. I HAVEN'T BEEN SINCE."

"HOW ON EARTH DID YOU FIND OUT YOUR HOTEL?"

"IT WAS RECOMMENDED TO ME. I WANTED SOMETHING CHEAP."

THE ABSINTHE CAME, AND WITH DUE SOLEMNITY WE DROPPED WATER OVER THE MELTING SUGAR.

"I THOUGHT I'D BETTER TELL YOU AT ONCE WHY I HAD COME TO SEE YOU," I SAID, NOT WITHOUT EMBARRASSMENT.

HIS EYES TWINKLED.

"I THOUGHT SOMEBODY WOULD COME ALONG SOONER OR LATER. I'VE HAD A LOT OF LETTERS FROM AMY."

"THEN YOU KNOW PRETTY WELL WHAT I'VE GOT TO SAY."

"I'VE NOT READ THEM."

I LIT A CIGARETTE TO GIVE MYSELF A MOMENT'S TIME. I DID NOT QUITE KNOW HOW TO SET ABOUT MY MISSION. THE ELOQUENT PHRASES I HAD ARRANGED, PATHETIC OR INDIGNANT, SEEMED OUT OF PLACE ON THE AVENUE DE CLICHY. SUDDENLY HE GAVE A CHUCKLE.

"BEASTLY JOB FOR YOU THIS, ISN'T IT?"

"OH, I DON'T KNOW," I ANSWERED.

"WELL, LOOK HERE, YOU GET IT OVER, AND THEN WE'LL HAVE A JOLLY EVENING."

I HESITATED.

"HAS IT OCCURRED TO YOU THAT YOUR WIFE IS FRIGHTFULLY UNHAPPY?"

"SHE'LL GET OVER IT."

I CANNOT DESCRIBE THE EXTRAORDINARY CALLOUSNESS WITH WHICH HE MADE THIS REPLY. IT DISCONCERTED ME, BUT I DID MY BEST NOT TO SHOW IT. I ADOPTED THE TONE USED BY MY UNCLE HENRY, A CLERGYMAN, WHEN HE WAS ASKING ONE OF HIS RELATIVES FOR A SUBSCRIPTION TO THE ADDITIONAL CURATES SOCIETY.

"YOU DON'T MIND MY TALKING TO YOU FRANKLY?"

HE SHOOK HIS HEAD, SMILING.

"HAS SHE DESERVED THAT YOU SHOULD TREAT HER LIKE THIS?"

"NO."

"HAVE YOU ANY COMPLAINT TO MAKE AGAINST HER?"

"NONE."

"THEN, ISN'T IT MONSTROUS TO LEAVE HER IN THIS FASHION, AFTER SEVENTEEN YEARS OF MARRIED LIFE, WITHOUT A FAULT TO FIND WITH HER?"

"MONSTROUS."

I GLANCED AT HIM WITH SURPRISE. HIS CORDIAL AGREEMENT WITH ALL I SAID CUT THE GROUND FROM UNDER MY FEET. IT MADE MY POSITION COMPLICATED, NOT TO SAY LUDICROUS. I WAS PREPARED TO BE PERSUASIVE, TOUCHING, AND HORTATORY, ADMONITORY AND EXPOSTULATING, IF NEED BE VITUPERATIVE EVEN, INDIGNANT AND SARCASTIC; BUT WHAT THE DEVIL DOES A MENTOR DO WHEN THE SINNER MAKES NO BONES ABOUT CONFESSING HIS SIN? I HAD NO EXPERIENCE, SINCE MY OWN PRACTICE HAS ALWAYS BEEN TO DENY EVERYTHING.

"WHAT, THEN?" ASKED STRICKLAND.

I TRIED TO CURL MY LIP.

"WELL, IF YOU ACKNOWLEDGE THAT, THERE DOESN'T SEEM MUCH MORE TO BE SAID."

"I DON'T THINK THERE IS."

I FELT THAT I WAS NOT CARRYING OUT MY EMBASSY WITH ANY GREAT SKILL. I WAS DISTINCTLY NETTLED.

"HANG IT ALL, ONE CAN'T LEAVE A WOMAN WITHOUT A BOB."

"WHY NOT?"

"HOW IS SHE GOING TO LIVE?"

"I'VE SUPPORTED HER FOR SEVENTEEN YEARS. WHY SHOULDN'T SHE SUPPORT HERSELF FOR A CHANGE?"

"SHE CAN'T."

"LET HER TRY."

OF COURSE THERE WERE MANY THINGS I MIGHT HAVE ANSWERED TO THIS. I MIGHT HAVE SPOKEN OF THE ECONOMIC POSITION OF WOMAN, OF THE CONTRACT, TACIT AND OVERT, WHICH A MAN ACCEPTS BY HIS MARRIAGE, AND OF MUCH ELSE; BUT I FELT THAT THERE WAS ONLY ONE POINT WHICH REALLY SIGNIFIED.

"DON'T YOU CARE FOR HER ANY MORE?"

"NOT A BIT," HE REPLIED.

THE MATTER WAS IMMENSELY SERIOUS FOR ALL THE PARTIES CONCERNED, BUT THERE WAS IN THE MANNER OF HIS ANSWERS SUCH A CHEERFUL EFFRONTERY THAT I HAD TO BITE MY LIPS IN ORDER NOT TO LAUGH. I REMINDED MYSELF THAT HIS BEHAVIOUR WAS ABOMINABLE. I WORKED MYSELF UP INTO A STATE OF MORAL INDIGNATION.

"DAMN IT ALL, THERE ARE YOUR CHILDREN TO THINK OF. THEY'VE NEVER DONE YOU ANY HARM. THEY DIDN'T ASK TO BE BROUGHT INTO THE WORLD. IF YOU CHUCK EVERYTHING LIKE THIS, THEY'LL BE THROWN ON THE STREETS."

"THEY'VE HAD A GOOD MANY YEARS OF COMFORT. IT'S MUCH MORE THAN THE MAJORITY OF CHILDREN HAVE. BESIDES, SOMEBODY WILL LOOK AFTER THEM. WHEN IT COMES TO THE POINT, THE MACANDREWS WILL PAY FOR THEIR SCHOOLING."

"BUT AREN'T YOU FOND OF THEM? THEY'RE SUCH AWFULLY NICE KIDS. DO YOU MEAN TO SAY YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE ANYTHING MORE TO DO WITH THEM?"

"I LIKED THEM ALL RIGHT WHEN THEY WERE KIDS, BUT NOW THEY'RE GROWING UP I HAVEN'T GOT ANY PARTICULAR FEELING FOR THEM."

"IT'S JUST INHUMAN."

"I DARE SAY."

"YOU DON'T SEEM IN THE LEAST ASHAMED."

"I'M NOT."

I TRIED ANOTHER TACK.

"EVERYONE WILL THINK YOU A PERFECT SWINE."

"LET THEM."

"WON'T IT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU TO KNOW THAT PEOPLE LOATHE AND DESPISE YOU?"

"NO."

HIS BRIEF ANSWER WAS SO SCORNFUL THAT IT MADE MY QUESTION, NATURAL THOUGH IT WAS, SEEM ABSURD. I REFLECTED FOR A MINUTE OR TWO.

"I WONDER IF ONE CAN LIVE QUITE COMFORTABLY WHEN ONE'S CONSCIOUS OF THE DISAPPROVAL OF ONE'S FELLOWS? ARE YOU SURE IT WON'T BEGIN TO WORRY YOU? EVERYONE HAS SOME SORT OF CONSCIENCE, AND SOONER OR LATER IT WILL FIND YOU OUT. SUPPOSING YOUR WIFE DIED, WOULDN'T YOU BE TORTURED BY REMORSE?"

HE DID NOT ANSWER, AND I WAITED FOR SOME TIME FOR HIM TO SPEAK. AT LAST I HAD TO BREAK THE SILENCE MYSELF.

"WHAT HAVE YOU TO SAY OF THAT?"

"ONLY THAT YOU'RE A DAMNED FOOL."

"AT ALL EVENTS, YOU CAN BE FORCED TO SUPPORT YOUR WIFE AND CHILDREN," I RETORTED, SOMEWHAT PIQUED. "I SUPPOSE THE LAW HAS SOME PROTECTION TO OFFER THEM."

"CAN THE LAW GET BLOOD OUT OF A STONE? I HAVEN'T ANY MONEY. I'VE GOT ABOUT A HUNDRED POUNDS."

I BEGAN TO BE MORE PUZZLED THAN BEFORE. IT WAS TRUE THAT HIS HOTEL POINTED TO THE MOST STRAITENED CIRCUMSTANCES.

"WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WHEN YOU'VE SPENT THAT?"

"EARN SOME."

HE WAS PERFECTLY COOL, AND HIS EYES KEPT THAT MOCKING SMILE WHICH MADE ALL I SAID SEEM RATHER FOOLISH. I PAUSED FOR A LITTLE WHILE TO CONSIDER WHAT I HAD BETTER SAY NEXT. BUT IT WAS HE WHO SPOKE FIRST.

"WHY DOESN'T AMY MARRY AGAIN? SHE'S COMPARATIVELY YOUNG, AND SHE'S NOT UNATTRACTIVE. I CAN RECOMMEND HER AS AN EXCELLENT WIFE. IF SHE WANTS TO DIVORCE ME I DON'T MIND GIVING HER THE NECESSARY GROUNDS."

NOW IT WAS MY TURN TO SMILE. HE WAS VERY CUNNING, BUT IT WAS EVIDENTLY THIS THAT HE WAS AIMING AT. HE HAD SOME REASON TO CONCEAL THE FACT THAT HE HAD RUN AWAY WITH A WOMAN, AND HE WAS USING EVERY PRECAUTION TO HIDE HER WHEREABOUTS. I ANSWERED WITH DECISION.

" YOUR WIFE SAYS THAT NOTHING YOU CAN DO WILL EVER INDUCE HER TO DIVORCE YOU. SHE'S QUITE MADE UP HER MIND. YOU CAN PUT ANY POSSIBILITY OF THAT DEFINITELY OUT OF YOUR HEAD."

HE LOOKED AT ME WITH AN ASTONISHMENT THAT WAS CERTAINLY NOT FEIGNED. THE SMILE ABANDONED HIS LIPS, AND HE SPOKE QUITE SERIOUSLY.

"BUT, MY DEAR FELLOW, I DON'T CARE. IT DOESN'T MATTER A TWOPENNY DAMN TO ME ONE WAY OR THE OTHER."

I LAUGHED.

"OH, COME NOW; YOU MUSTN'T THINK US SUCH FOOLS AS ALL THAT. WE HAPPEN TO KNOW THAT YOU CAME AWAY WITH A WOMAN."

HE GAVE A LITTLE START, AND THEN SUDDENLY BURST INTO A SHOUT OF LAUGHTER. HE LAUGHED SO UPROARIOUSLY THAT THE PEOPLE SITTING NEAR US LOOKED ROUND, AND SOME OF THEM BEGAN TO LAUGH TOO.

"I DON'T SEE ANYTHING VERY AMUSING IN THAT."

"POOR AMY," HE GRINNED.

THEN HIS FACE GREW BITTERLY SCORNFUL.

"WHAT POOR MINDS WOMEN HAVE GOT! LOVE. IT'S ALWAYS LOVE. THEY THINK A MAN LEAVES THEM ONLY BECAUSE HE WANTS OTHERS. DO YOU THINK I SHOULD BE SUCH A FOOL AS TO DO WHAT I'VE DONE FOR A WOMAN?"

"DO YOU MEAN TO SAY YOU DIDN'T LEAVE YOUR WIFE FOR ANOTHER WOMAN?"

"OF COURSE NOT."

"ON YOUR WORD OF HONOUR?"

I DON'T KNOW WHY I ASKED FOR THAT. IT WAS VERY INGENUOUS OF ME.

"ON MY WORD OF HONOUR."

"THEN, WHAT IN GOD'S NAME HAVE YOU LEFT HER FOR?"

"I WANT TO PAINT."

I LOOKED AT HIM FOR QUITE A LONG TIME. I DID NOT UNDERSTAND. I THOUGHT HE WAS MAD. IT MUST BE REMEMBERED THAT I WAS VERY YOUNG, AND I LOOKED UPON HIM AS A MIDDLE-AGED MAN. I FORGOT EVERYTHING BUT MY OWN AMAZEMENT.

"BUT YOU'RE FORTY."

"THAT'S WHAT MADE ME THINK IT WAS HIGH TIME TO BEGIN."

"HAVE YOU EVER PAINTED?"

"I RATHER WANTED TO BE A PAINTER WHEN I WAS A BOY, BUT MY FATHER MADE ME GO INTO BUSINESS BECAUSE HE SAID THERE WAS NO MONEY IN ART. I BEGAN TO PAINT A BIT A YEAR AGO. FOR THE LAST YEAR I'VE BEEN GOING TO SOME CLASSES AT NIGHT."

"WAS THAT WHERE YOU WENT WHEN MRS. STRICKLAND THOUGHT YOU WERE PLAYING BRIDGE AT YOUR CLUB?"

"THAT'S IT."

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL HER?"

"I PREFERRED TO KEEP IT TO MYSELF."

"CAN YOU PAINT?"

"NOT YET. BUT I SHALL. THAT'S WHY I'VE COME OVER HERE. I COULDN'T GET WHAT I WANTED IN LONDON. PERHAPS I CAN HERE."

"DO YOU THINK IT'S LIKELY THAT A MAN WILL DO ANY GOOD WHEN HE STARTS AT YOUR AGE? MOST MEN BEGIN PAINTING AT EIGHTEEN."

"I CAN LEARN QUICKER THAN I COULD WHEN I WAS EIGHTEEN."

"WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU HAVE ANY TALENT?"

HE DID NOT ANSWER FOR A MINUTE. HIS GAZE RESTED ON THE PASSING THRONG, BUT I DO NOT THINK HE SAW IT. HIS ANSWER WAS NO ANSWER.

"I'VE GOT TO PAINT."

"AREN'T YOU TAKING AN AWFUL CHANCE?"

HE LOOKED AT ME THEN. HIS EYES HAD SOMETHING STRANGE IN THEM, SO THAT I FELT RATHER UNCOMFORTABLE.

"HOW OLD ARE YOU? TWENTY-THREE?"

IT SEEMED TO ME THAT THE QUESTION WAS BESIDE THE POINT. IT WAS NATURAL THAT I SHOULD TAKE CHANCES; BUT HE WAS A MAN WHOSE YOUTH WAS PAST, A STOCKBROKER WITH A POSITION OF RESPECTABILITY, A WIFE AND TWO CHILDREN. A COURSE THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN NATURAL FOR ME WAS ABSURD FOR HIM. I WISHED TO BE QUITE FAIR.

"OF COURSE A MIRACLE MAY HAPPEN, AND YOU MAY BE A GREAT PAINTER, BUT YOU MUST CONFESS THE CHANCES ARE A MILLION TO ONE AGAINST IT. IT'LL BE AN AWFUL SELL IF AT THE END YOU HAVE TO ACKNOWLEDGE YOU'VE MADE A HASH OF IT."

"I'VE GOT TO PAINT," HE REPEATED.

"SUPPOSING YOU'RE NEVER ANYTHING MORE THAN THIRD-RATE, DO YOU THINK IT WILL HAVE BEEN WORTH WHILE TO GIVE UP EVERYTHING? AFTER ALL, IN ANY OTHER WALK OF LIFE IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOU'RE NOT VERY GOOD: YOU CAN GET ALONG QUITE COMFORTABLY IF YOU'RE JUST ADEQUATE; BUT IT'S DIFFERENT WITH AN ARTIST."

"YOU BLASTED FOOL," HE SAID.

"I DON'T SEE WHY, UNLESS IT'S FOLLY TO SAY THE OBVIOUS."

"I TELL YOU I'VE GOT TO PAINT. I CAN'T HELP MYSELF. WHEN A MAN FALLS INTO THE WATER IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW HE SWIMS, WELL OR BADLY: HE'S GOT TO GET OUT OR ELSE HE'LL DROWN."

THERE WAS REAL PASSION IN HIS VOICE, AND IN SPITE OF MYSELF I WAS IMPRESSED. I SEEMED TO FEEL IN HIM SOME VEHEMENT POWER THAT WAS STRUGGLING WITHIN HIM; IT GAVE ME THE SENSATION OF SOMETHING VERY STRONG, OVERMASTERING, THAT HELD HIM, AS IT WERE, AGAINST HIS WILL. I COULD NOT UNDERSTAND. HE SEEMED REALLY TO BE POSSESSED OF A DEVIL, AND I FELT THAT IT MIGHT SUDDENLY TURN AND REND HIM. YET HE LOOKED ORDINARY ENOUGH. MY EYES, RESTING ON HIM CURIOUSLY, CAUSED HIM NO EMBARRASSMENT. I WONDERED WHAT A STRANGER WOULD HAVE TAKEN HIM TO BE, SITTING THERE IN HIS OLD NORFOLK JACKET AND HIS UNBRUSHED BOWLER; HIS TROUSERS WERE BAGGY, HIS HANDS WERE NOT CLEAN; AND HIS FACE, WITH THE RED STUBBLE OF THE UNSHAVED CHIN, THE LITTLE EYES, AND THE LARGE, AGGRESSIVE NOSE, WAS UNCOUTH AND COARSE. HIS MOUTH WAS LARGE, HIS LIPS WERE HEAVY AND SENSUAL. NO; I COULD NOT HAVE PLACED HIM.

"YOU WON'T GO BACK TO YOUR WIFE?" I SAID AT LAST.

"NEVER."

"SHE'S WILLING TO FORGET EVERYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED AND START AFRESH. SHE'LL NEVER MAKE YOU A SINGLE REPROACH."

"SHE CAN GO TO HELL."

"YOU DON'T CARE IF PEOPLE THINK YOU AN UTTER BLACKGUARD? YOU DON'T CARE IF SHE AND YOUR CHILDREN HAVE TO BEG THEIR BREAD?"

"NOT A DAMN."

I WAS SILENT FOR A MOMENT IN ORDER TO GIVE GREATER FORCE TO MY NEXT REMARK. I SPOKE AS DELIBERATELY AS I COULD.

"YOU ARE A MOST UNMITIGATED CAD."

"NOW THAT YOU'VE GOT THAT OFF YOUR CHEST, LET'S GO AND HAVE DINNER."

Title: A Severed Head Author: Iris Murdoch Publication: Chatto & Windus, London, 1961.

I HAD AN INFERNAL HEADACHE. I HAD LEFT THEM EARLY, DECLINING A PRESSING INVITATION TO DINNER, AND THEN HAD STAYED UP HALF THE NIGHT DRINKING WHISKY, AND I STILL FELT, AS I PREPARED TO LEAVE THE OFFICE, RATHER SICK AND GIDDY. LAST NIGHT, STRANGELY ENOUGH, I HAD NOT FELT TOO DEJECTED; BUT THIS, I REASONED OUT, WAS BECAUSE OF A PARTICULAR ILLUSION WHICH HAD BEEN FOSTERED BY THE WHISKY, AN ILLUSION TO THE EFFECT THAT I WAS SHORTLY GOING TO DO SOMETHING REMARKABLE WHICH WOULD MIRACULOUSLY ALTER THE SITUATION. IT WAS UNCLEAR WHAT THIS REMARKABLE ACTION WOULD BE; BUT AS THE NIGHT PROCEEDED I MORE AND MORE SENSED ITS MAGNIFICENT VEILED PRESENCE. I HAD NOT, IT SEEMED, AFTER ALL BEEN CHEATED OF MY MOMENT OF POWER.

TODAY, HOWEVER, I COULD SEE ONLY TOO CLEARLY THE EMPTINESS OF THIS DREAM WHICH WAS BUT THE HOLLOW CORRELATE OF MY ROLE OF TOTAL VICTIM. THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO; NOTHING, THAT IS, EXCEPT ACT OUT WITH DIGNITY MY APPOINTED TASK OF BEING RATIONAL AND CHARITABLE: A TASK WHOSE CHARMS, NEVER MANY, WERE LIKELY TO DIMINISH AS MY CHARITABLENESS AND RATIONALITY CAME TO BE, BY ALL CONCERNED, INCREASINGLY TAKEN FOR GRANTED. MORE PRECISELY, THERE WAS NOTHING TO BE DONE IN THE NEAR FUTURE EXCEPT TO MAKE SENSIBLE ARRANGEMENTS WITH ANTONIA ABOUT THE FURNITURE, WRITE A NUMBER OF LETTERS ABOUT THE LOWNDES SQUARE FLAT, AND SEE MY SOLICITOR ABOUT THE DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS: THAT, AND SEE GEORGIE.

I WAS SORRY THAT I HAD MADE MYSELF SO DRUNK LAST NIGHT, NOT ONLY BECAUSE OF THE HIDEOUS DEPRESSION OF THE HANGOVER, BUT BECAUSE I FELT IT WOULD MAKE ME STUPID IN DEALING WITH GEORGIE. I STILL HAD MIXED FEELINGS ABOUT SEEING HER, AND INDEED MY OPPOSITE WISHES HAD BOTH INCREASED IN INTENSITY. ON THE ONE HAND I FELT MORE THAN EVER ABSORBED INTO THE IDEA OF ANTONIA. I WANTED TO THINK ABOUT HER ALL THE TIME, ALTHOUGH THIS ACTIVITY WAS ENTIRELY PAINFUL. IN AN OBSESSED WAY, WHAT I MOST DESIRED WAS TO BE TALKING OVER 'THE SITUATION' WITH ANTONIA OR PALMER, AND IF EITHER OF THEM HAD HAD THE TIME TO INDULGE ME THAT IS WHAT I WOULD HAVE BEEN CONTINUALLY DOING. ON THE OTHER HAND, THE IMAGE OF GEORGIE, MOVED BY SOME PURE POWER OF ITS OWN, WAS ACTIVE WITHIN ME, AND MADE IN MY TORMENTED THOUGHTS A COOL AND EVEN AUTHORITATIVE PLACE FOR ITSELF. THITHER I DID FEEL DRAWN. GEORGIE'S ROBUST CHEERFULNESS, HER GOOD SENSE, HER LUCID TOUGHNESS WERE PERHAPS JUST WHAT I REQUIRE TO PULL ME OUT OF THE REGION OF FANTASY WHICH I WAS INCREASINGLY INHABITING AND RETURN ME TO THE REAL WORLD. YET COULD I, AS THINGS WERE, RELY ON GEORGIE TO BE CHEERFUL AND LUCID? WHAT DEMANDS MIGHT SHE NOT NOW, ESPECIALLY FINDING ME IN THIS WEAKENED STATE, MAKE UPON ME? I UNUTTERABLY WANTED SOME SIMPLICITY OF CONSOLATION. BUT GEORGIE TOO WAS A PERSON CAPABLE OF BEING IN TORMENT.

I LOCKED UP MY DESK AND PUT INTO MY BRIEF-CASE THE LIST OF CLIENTS WHOM I HAD PROMISED TO VISIT IN JANUARY AND THE DRAFT OF MY CHAPTER ON THE TACTICS OF GUSTAVUS ADOLPHUS AT THE BATTLE OF LEUTZEN. I HAD MADE ARRANGEMENTS SO AS NOT TO HAVE TO COME TO THE OFFICE AGAIN FOR A LITTLE WHILE. THE CLIENTS WOULD RECEIVE A NOTE TO THE EFFECT THAT MR MYTTEN, MY YOUNG ASSISTANT, WOULD VISIT THEM INSTEAD, AS I WAS INDISPOSED. MYTTEN WAS AT PRESENT STILL IN BORDEAUX, WHERE IT WAS DANGEROUS TO SEND HIM SINCE HE PROLONGED HIS VISITS SO UNCONSCIONABLY, CONDUCTING SOME NEGOTIATIONS WITH A SMALL HOUSE WITH WHICH WE HAD NEWLY BEGUN TO DO SOME BUSINESS. MYTTEN WAS A ROMAN CATHOLIC, A SYBARITE AND AN ASS, BUT HE WAS LOYAL AND A DECENT JUDGE OF WINE, AND WENT DOWN SPLENDIDLY WITH MY MORE SNOBBISH CLIENTELE. I COULD TRUST HIM WITH THE VISITING, THOUGH NOT OF COURSE WITH THE TASTING, AND I NOTED THAT MY NEXT ESSENTIAL ENGAGEMENT WAS TO TASTE HOCK, OF WHICH WE STILL HANDLED A LITTLE, ON JANUARY 30TH. OF COURSE I ALWAYS POLITELY CONSULTED MYTTEN AND VERY OCCASIONALLY LISTENED TO HIS ADVICE ON WHAT TO BUY, BUT A DIRECTOR OF A SMALL WINE FIRM TENDS TO BECOME AN OMNIPOTENT AND JEALOUS DEITY, AND IT WAS ON MY PALATE ALONE THAT THE FIRM OF LYNCH-GIBBON DEPENDED; AND AS I HAD NO PATERNAL FEELINGS TOWARDS MYTTEN AND DID NOT BELIEVE THAT I COULD TRAIN HIM TO BE A SECOND ME, THE LITTLE FIRM WOULD DOUBTLESS PERISH WITH ME, AND THE PARTICULAR PIECE OF REALITY REPRESENTED BY THE DISCERNING TASTE WHICH MY FATHER HAD SO CAREFULLY TRAINED AND FOSTERED IN HIS SON WOULD VANISH AWAY FOREVER.

UNTIL THE TRUANT MYTTEN'S RETURN MY TWO EXCELLENT SECRETARIES, MISS HERNSHAW AND MISS SEELHAFT, COULD GET ON PERFECTLY WELL ON THEIR OWN. I PRIZED THESE GIRLS EXCEEDINGLY AS THEY COULD WRITE ACCURATE AND EVEN WITTY BUSINESS LETTERS IN FRENCH AND GERMAN, AND BY NOW KNEW THE BUSINESS VERY WELL INDEED, THOUGH, QUAINTLY, THEY HAD NO UNDERSTANDING OF WINE AND PRAISED ANYTHING THAT WAS OFFERED TO THEM. THEY HAD BEEN WITH ME FOR SOME YEARS NOW AND I HAD BEEN VERY WORRIED IN CASE ONE OR OTHER OF THEM SHOULD TAKE IT INTO HER HEAD TO GET MARRIED, UNTIL THE DAY WHEN I REALISED, THROUGH SOME IMPERCEPTIBLE BUT CUMULATIVE GATHERING OF IMPRESSIONS, THAT THEY WERE A HAPPY AND WELL-SUITED LESBIAN COUPLE.

TODAY I HAD, WITH EACH OF THEM SEPARATELY, GONE THROUGH THE PAINFUL BUSINESS OF TELLING THEM ABOUT MY DIVORCE: I WAS MADE AWARE THAT THEY ALREADY KNEW. SO GLEEFULLY FAST DOES BAD NEWS TRAVEL. THEY STOOD NOW BY THE DOOR WAITING WITHOUT VISIBLE IMPATIENCE TO SEE THE LAST OF ME. THEIR FACES AND ATTITUDES EXPRESSED THEIR RESPECTIVE MODES OF SYMPATHY: TALL FAIR MISS HERNSHAW, LONG VAINLY COURTED BY THE IMPERCEPTIVE MYTTEN, SWAYING MOIST-EYED AND READY TO HOLD MY HAND, SHORT DARK MISS SEELHAFT, FROWNING WITH CONCERN AS SHE POLISHED HER SPECTACLES, DARTING ME GLANCES OF BRISK COMMISERATION. I LEFT THEM AT LAST TO THE DÉBRIS OF THE CHRISTMAS ORDERS AND THE JOYS OF EACH OTHER'S COMPANY AND DROVE MY CAR TO PELHAM CRESCENT.

ANTONIA WAS WEARING A BROWN CASHMERE PULLOVER AND A STRING OF PEARLS, NEITHER OF WHICH I HAD SEEN BEFORE. SHE HAD NEVER USED TO BUY SO MUCH AS A HANDKERCHIEF WITHOUT CONSULTING ME. I NOTICED TOO, HALF RELIEVED, THAT SHE WAS IN A STATE OF RESTLESS IRRITATION AND IN NO MOOD TO PLY ME WITH HER TENDERNESS. SHE JUMPED UP WHEN SHE SAW ME AND SAID, "REALLY, I THINK SHE MIGHT HAVE WAITED A BIT BEFORE DISMANTLING THE HOUSE!"

"WHO?"

"HONOR KLEIN."

I RECALLED THIS LADY'S EXISTENCE. "I SUPPOSE SHE'S TAKING HER OWN STUFF AWAY?"

"DARLING, SHUT THE DOOR," SAID ANTONIA. "I FEEL HAUNTED. I SUPPOSE SHE HAS A RIGHT TO HER OWN THINGS, BUT REALLY, WHEN SHE APPEARED HERE THIS MORNING IT WAS LIKE BEING HIT BY A TORNADO. DID YOU SEE ALL THE JUNK PILED UP IN THE HALL?"

"APPEARED THIS MORNING? ISN'T SHE STAYING HERE?"

"NO. THAT WAS ANOTHER THING, AND AFTER I'D SPENT AGES GETTING HER ROOM READY, SHE DECIDED LAST NIGHT SHE WANTED TO STAY IN A HOTEL IN BLOOMSBURY TO BE NEAR THE BRITISH MUSEUM OR SOMETHING, AND POOR ANDERSON HAD TO TAKE HER AWAY IN A TAXI AND HE'S NOT AT ALL WELL, AND HE TOOK AGES GETTING BACK IN THE FOG."

"HOW IS PALMER?"

"HIS TEMPERATURE'S STILL UP. IT WAS NINETY-NINE THIS MORNING. I DO THINK SHE'S INCONSIDERATE. ALL THE SAME, I LIKE HER."

I LAUGHED AT THE DETERMINED WAY ANTONIA SAID THIS. "YOU HAVE TO. SHE'S PALMER'S SISTER. I CONFESS, I DON'T FEEL MYSELF OBLIGED IN THIS RESPECT!"

"ABOUT THE FURNITURE, DARLING," SAID ANTONIA, "MAY WE DO IT TOMORROW AFTERNOON? ANDERSON AND I ARE JUST OFF TO MARLOW. WE THOUGHT WE'D STAY AT THE COMPLEAT ANGLER, JUST FOR THE NIGHT. IT'S SUCH A NICE WARM HOTEL. POOR ANDERSON IS SO OVERTIRED, I THOUGHT THE LITTLE CHANGE WOULD DO HIM GOOD, AND WE BOTH HATE SEEING HONOR MAULING THE HOUSE. I'M TERRIBLY SORRY NOT TO BE ABLE TO ASK YOU TO LUNCH, BUT WE'RE HAVING IT EARLY IN RATHER A RUSH AND LEAVING IMMEDIATELY AFTER."

I HAD INTRODUCED ANTONIA TO THE COMPLEAT ANGLER. IT HAD BEEN ONE OF OUR HAUNTS IN THE EARLY DAYS OF OUR MARRIAGE. "I COULDN'T ANYWAY," I SAID. "I'M JUST LEAVING TOWN MYSELF. BUT I'LL BE BACK EARLY TOMORROW. SEE YOU AT HEREFORD SQUARE ANY TIME AFTER THREE."

I TOLD THIS LIE INSTINCTIVELY, AS A REJOINDER TO ANTONIA'S AIR OF SOMEWHAT PATRONISING SOLICITUDE; AND I HAD THE SATISFACTION OF SEEING HER INHIBIT HER IMPULSE TO ASK ME WHERE I WAS GOING. SHE HAD, AFTER ALL, SURRENDERED CERTAIN RIGHTS. THE THREAD WAS NOT BROKEN, BUT WITHOUT OUR NOTICE AND WITHOUT OUR WILL THE GULF HAD INEVITABLY GROWN WIDER. SHE SIGHED; AND I TOOK MY LEAVE BEFORE SHE COULD DISCOVER THE WORDS WITH WHICH TO DRAW ME GENTLY ONCE MORE TOWARDS HER.

I CLOSED THE DRAWING-ROOM DOOR UPON ANTONIA AND ALMOST FELL OVER HONOR KLEIN, WHO WAS HALF CARRYING HALF DRAGGING A LARGE BOX OF BOOKS ACROSS THE HALL.

I SAID, "MAY I HELP YOU?" AND TOGETHER WE HAULED THE BOX INTO THE BIG FRONT ROOM WHICH PALMER ALWAYS CALLED THE LIBRARY, ALTHOUGH IT CONTAINED ONLY ONE SMALL BOOKCASE. THE ROOM WAS IN DISORDER NOW, PILED UP WITH TEA CHESTS CONTAINING BOOKS, PAPERS AND PHOTOGRAPHS. A NUMBER OF PICTURES WERE STACKED AGAINST THE WALL, INCLUDING THE SERIES OF JAPANESE PRINTS FROM THE STUDY. I NOTICED TOO, HALF HIDDEN BY A HEAP OF LETTERS, A FRAMED PHOTOGRAPH OF WHAT WAS OBVIOUSLY PALMER AS A BOY OF SIXTEEN. IN THE DINING-ROOM OPPOSITE I SAW THROUGH THE DOOR THE TABLE LAID FOR LUNCH AND AN OPEN BOTTLE OF LYNCH-GIBBON CLARET. ONLY TWO PLACES WERE LAID.

"THANK YOU," SAID HONOR KLEIN. "NOW WOULD YOU MIND HELPING ME STACK THESE BOXES ON TOP OF EACH OTHER? I SHALL NEED THE SPACE."

WHEN WE HAD FINISHED THIS AND I WISHED TO TAKE MY LEAVE, BUT COULD THINK OF NO SUITABLE FORMULA, I BOWED RATHER AWKWARDLY AND WAS ABOUT TO WITHDRAW WHEN SHE SAID, "YESTERDAY YOU ASKED ME WHAT I THOUGHT OF MY BROTHER'S EXPLOIT. MAY I ASK WHAT YOU THINK OF IT?"

THIS TOOK ME GREATLY BY SURPRISE AND I HESITATED FOR WORDS. I WAS AT ONCE AWARE THAT I MUST BE VERY CAREFUL WHAT I SAID TO HONOR KLEIN.

SHE WENT ON, "DO YOU THINK THEY ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING?"

"DO YOU MEAN MORALLY?"

"NO, NOT MORALLY," SHE SAID ALMOST WITH SCORN. "I MEAN FOR THEIR LIFE." SHE CONTRIVED TO GIVE THE WORD A METAPHYSICAL RING.

I SAID, "YES, I DO THINK THEY ARE DOING THE RIGHT THING."

THERE WAS SOMETHING HIDEOUSLY IMPROPER IN DISCUSSING ANTONIA'S BUSINESS WITH THIS WOMAN. YET I FOUND SUDDENLY THAT I WANTED TO.

"DO YOU MIND IF I CLOSE THE DOOR," SHE SAID. SHE STOOD WITH HER BACK TO IT STARING AT ME WITH A CONCENTRATED CALCULATING EXPRESSION. SHE WAS WEARING A DARK GREEN COAT AND SKIRT WHICH HAD ONCE HAD SOME PRETENSION TO SMARTNESS AND SHE LOOKED RATHER LESS DUMPY THAN SHE HAD SEEMED AT THE STATION. HER BLUNT LACED SHOES HAD BEEN POLISHED SINCE YESTERDAY. HER SHORT STRAIGHT OILY HAIR, A LUSTROUS BLACK, SAT LIKE A CROPPED WIG ABOUT HER PALE RATHER WAXEN JEWISH FACE. HER NARROW EYES WERE LIKE TWO BLACK CHIPS.

SHE SAID, "I WONDER IF YOU REALISE HOW MUCH YOUR SOFT BEHAVIOUR DISMAYS THEM?"

I WAS SURPRISED AGAIN. "YOU ARE WRONG," I SAID. I ADDED "IN ANY CASE I AM POWERLESS. IF I CHOOSE TO BE CIVILISED IT IS MY OWN AFFAIR." I GLARED BACK AT HER. ALL THE SAME, THERE WAS SOMETHING REFRESHING, EVEN EXHILARATING, EVEN LIBERATING, AFTER SO MUCH OF THE TENDER AND THE POLITE, AFTER ANTONIA AND PALMER'S MASTERLY 'WRAPPING,' ABOUT THIS DIRECT TALK.

"CIVILISED!" SHE SAID IT AGAIN WITH SCORN. "AS YOU MUST KNOW PERFECTLY WELL, YOU COULD GET YOUR WIFE BACK IF YOU WANTED HER EVEN NOW. I DON'T SAY THAT YOU SHOULD HAVE BEATEN HER AND KICKED MY BROTHER; BUT THERE WAS NO NEED TO PRESS THEM SO INTO EACH OTHER'S ARMS. THEY ARE BOTH PERSONS WITH A GREAT CAPACITY FOR SELF-DECEPTION. THEY HAVE ENCHANTED THEMSELVES INTO A BELIEF IN THIS MATCH. BUT THEY ARE BOTH CRAMMED WITH MISGIVINGS. THEY WANT TO BE LET OFF THE FINAL DECISION. THEY LOOK TO YOU FOR HELP. CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT?"

I WAS AMAZED. I SAID, "NO, FRANKLY I CAN'T SEE IT. I CAN BEST HELP THEM BY BEING GENTLE AND I PROPOSE TO GO ON BEING GENTLE. I AM AFTER ALL IN A POSITION TO KNOW THE TRUTH ABOUT BOTH OF THEM." I SPOKE FIRMLY, BUT I WAS VERY UPSET BY WHAT SHE HAD SAID, AND CONFUSED, AND UNSURE WHETHER I OUGHT NOT TO BE OFFENDED. I TOOK A STEP FORWARD TO INDICATE THAT I WISHED TO GO. BUT SHE STOOD HER GROUND, THROWING HER HEAD BACK AGAINST THE DOOR AND LOOKING UP AT ME.

"TRUTH HAS BEEN LOST LONG AGO IN THIS SITUATION," SHE SAID. "IN SUCH MATTERS YOU CANNOT HAVE BOTH TRUTH AND WHAT YOU CALL CIVILISATION. YOU ARE A VIOLENT MAN, MR LYNCH-GIBBON. YOU CANNOT GET AWAY WITH THIS INTIMACY WITH YOUR WIFE'S SEDUCER."

"I AM NOT ONE OF YOUR PRIMITIVE SAVAGES, DR KLEIN," I SAID, "AND I DO NOT BELIEVE IN VENDETTAS." WITH THAT I RECALLED HOW SHE HERSELF HAD BEEN CALLED PRIMITIVE. STRAINED BACK AGAINST THE DOOR, CLOSE TO ME NOW, SHE SEEMED SOMETHING BLACK AND UNTOUCHABLE.

"YOU CANNOT CHEAT THE DARK GODS, MR LYNCH-GIBBON," SHE SAID SOFTLY. "PERHAPS IT IS NO BUSINESS OF MINE IF YOU CHOOSE TO BE POWERLESS AND TO ABANDON YOUR WIFE. BUT EVERYTHING IN THIS LIFE HAS TO BE PAID FOR, AND LOVE TOO HAS TO BE PAID FOR. WHY DOES MY BROTHER, WHO IS RICH, ALWAYS CHARGE HIGH FEES EVEN TO POOR PATIENTS? BECAUSE WITHOUT PAYMENT HE COULD NOT SPEAK TO THEIR CONDITION. WITHOUT PAYMENT THEY WOULD BE WRETCHED. THEY WOULD BE CAPTIVES. I BELIEVE YOU LOVE MY BROTHER. BUT YOU DO HIM NO GOOD BY LETTING HIM OFF. HE WANTS, HE NEEDS, YOUR HARSHNESS, YOUR CRITICISM, EVEN YOUR VIOLENCE. BY GENTLENESS YOU ONLY SPARE YOURSELF AND PROLONG THIS ENCHANTMENT OF UNTRUTH WHICH THEY HAVE WOVEN ABOUT THEMSELVES AND ABOUT YOU TOO. SOONER OR LATER YOU WILL HAVE TO BECOME A CENTAUR AND KICK YOUR WAY OUT."

I LISTENED TO HER WITH GREAT ATTENTION. I WANTED TO UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT SHE MEANT. "YOU SAID EARLIER THAT YOU THOUGHT THEY BOTH WANTED TO BACK OUT," I SAID, "BUT WHAT YOU SAY NOW COULD IMPLY THAT IF I WERE VIOLENT IT MIGHT MAKE THEM HAPPIER WITH EACH OTHER."

HONOR KLEIN GAVE A TIRED GESTURE. THE TENSION LEFT HER BODY AND SHE DROOPED, MOVING A LITTLE AWAY FROM THE DOOR. "COULD IMPLY, COULD IMPLY!" SHE SAID. "WHERE LOGIC BREAKS DOWN ANYTHING CAN IMPLY ANYTHING. WHILE YOU ARE ALL SO SOFT NOTHING CAN BE CLEAR. IT SEEMS TO ME NOW THAT YOU DO NOT REALLY WANT YOUR WIFE BACK AFTER ALL. AND AS I AM SURPRISED THAT YOU HAVE NOT YET TOLD ME, IT IS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME, YOUR SIDE OF THE MATTER. IF YOU WANT TO LET THEM STEAL YOUR MIND AND ORGANISE YOU AS IF YOU WERE AN INFANT I SUPPOSE THAT IS YOUR AFFAIR. ALL I SAY IS THAT ONLY LIES AND EVIL COME FROM LETTING PEOPLE OFF."

I LOOKED AT HER HARSH AND MELANCHOLY PROFILE. I SAID, "I DON'T IMAGINE THAT YOU EVER LET PEOPLE OFF, DO YOU, DR KLEIN?"

SHE TURNED TOWARDS ME AND SUDDENLY SMILED, REVEALING STRONG WHITE TEETH, HER EYES NARROWING FURTHER TO TWO BLACK LUMINOUS SLITS. SHE SAID, "WITH ME PEOPLE PAY AS THEY EARN. YOU HAVE BEEN PATIENT. GOOD-MORNING, MR LYNCH-GIBBON." SHE OPENED THE DOOR.

Title: H G Wells Author: Tono-Bungay Publication: Collins, London, 1953 (first published 1909)

I CAME TO LIVE IN LONDON, AS I SHALL TELL YOU, WHEN I WAS NEARLY TWENTY-TWO. WIMBLEHURST DWINDLES IN PERSPECTIVE, IS NOW IN THIS BOOK A LITTLE PLACE FAR OFF, BLADESOVER NO MORE THAN A SMALL PINKISH SPECK OF FRONTAGE AMONG THE DISTANT KENTISH HILLS; THE SCENE BROADENS OUT, BECOMES MULTITUDINOUS AND LIMITLESS, FULL OF THE SENSE OF VAST IRRELEVANT MOVEMENT. I DO NOT REMEMBER MY SECOND COMING TO LONDON AS I DO MY FIRST, NOR MY EARLY IMPRESSIONS, SAVE THAT AN OCTOBER MEMORY OF SOFTENED AMBER SUNSHINE STANDS OUT, AMBER SUNSHINE FALLING ON GREY HOUSE FRONTS, I KNOW NOT WHERE. THAT, AND A SENSE OF A LARGE TRANQUILLITY. . .

I COULD FILL A BOOK, I THINK, WITH A MORE OR LESS IMAGINARY ACCOUNT OF HOW I CAME TO APPREHEND LONDON, HOW FIRST IN ONE ASPECT AND THEN ANOTHER IT GREW IN MY MIND. EACH DAY MY ACCUMULATING IMPRESSIONS WERE ADDED TO AND QUALIFIED AND BROUGHT INTO RELATIONSHIP WITH NEW ONES, THEY FUSED INSEPARABLY WITH OTHERS THAT WERE PURELY PERSONAL AND ACCIDENTAL. I FIND MYSELF WITH A CERTAIN COMPREHENSIVE PERCEPTION OF LONDON, COMPLEX INDEED, INCURABLY INDISTINCT IN PLACES AND YET IN SOME WAY A WHOLE THAT BEGAN WITH MY FIRST VISIT AND IS STILL BEING MELLOWED AND ENRICHED.

LONDON!

AT FIRST, NO DOUBT, IT WAS A CHAOS OF STREETS AND PEOPLE AND BUILDINGS AND REASONLESS GOING TO AND FRO. I DO NOT REMEMBER THAT I EVER STRUGGLED VERY STEADILY TO UNDERSTAND IT, OR EXPLORED IT WITH ANY BUT A PERSONAL AND ADVENTUROUS INTENTION. YET IN TIME THERE HAS GROWN UP IN ME A KIND OF THEORY OF LONDON; I DO THINK I SEE LINES OF AN ORDERED STRUCTURE OUT OF WHICH IT HAS GROWN, DETECTED A PROCESS THAT IS SOMETHING MORE THAN A CONFUSION OF CASUAL ACCIDENTS, THOUGH INDEED IT MAY BE NO MORE THAN A PROCESS OF DISEASE.

I SAID AT THE OUTSET OF MY FIRST BOOK THAT I FIND IN BLADESOVER THE CLUE TO ALL ENGLAND. WELL, I CERTAINLY IMAGINE IT IS THE CLUE TO THE STRUCTURE OF LONDON. THERE HAVE BEEN NO REVOLUTIONS, NO DELIBERATE RESTATEMENTS OR ABANDONMENTS OF OPINION IN ENGLAND SINCE THE DAYS OF THE FINE GENTRY, SINCE 1688 OR THEREABOUTS, THE DAYS WHEN BLADESOVER WAS BUILT; THERE HAVE BEEN CHANGES, DISSOLVING FORCES, REPLACING FORCES, IF YOU WILL; BUT THEN IT WAS THAT THE BROAD LINES OF THE ENGLISH SYSTEM SET FIRMLY. AND AS I HAVE GONE TO AND FRO IN LONDON, IN CERTAIN REGIONS CONSTANTLY THE THOUGHT HAS RECURRED, THIS IS BLADESOVER HOUSE, THIS ANSWERS TO BLADESOVER HOUSE. THE FINE GENTRY MAY HAVE GONE; THEY HAVE INDEED LARGELY GONE, I THINK; RICH MERCHANTS MAY HAVE REPLACED THEM, FINANCIAL ADVENTURERS OR WHAT NOT. THAT DOES NOT MATTER; THE SHAPE IS STILL BLADESOVER.

I AM MOST REMINDED OF BLADESOVER AND EASTRY BY ALL THOSE REGIONS ROUND ABOUT THE WEST END PARKS, FOR EXAMPLE, ESTATE PARKS, EACH MORE OR LESS IN RELATION TO A PALACE OR GROUP OF GREAT HOUSES. THE ROADS AND BACK WAYS OF MAYFAIR AND ALL ABOUT ST. JAMES'S AGAIN, ALBEIT PERHAPS OF A LATER GROWTH IN POINT OF TIME, WERE OF THE VERY SPIRIT AND ARCHITECTURAL TEXTURE OF THE BLADESOVER PASSAGES AND YARDS; THEY HAD THE SAME SMELLS, THE SPACE, THE LARGE CLEANNESS, AND ALWAYS GOING TO AND FRO THERE ONE MET UNMISTAKABLE OLYMPIANS, AND EVEN MORE UNMISTAKABLE VALETS, BUTLERS, FOOTMEN IN MUFTI. THERE WERE MOMENTS WHEN I SEEMED TO GLIMPSE DOWN AREAS THE WHITE PANELLING, THE VERY CHINTZ OF MY MOTHER'S ROOM AGAIN.

I COULD TRACE OUT NOW ON A MAP WHAT I WOULD CALL THE GREAT-HOUSE REGION; PASSING SOUTH-WESTWARD INTO BELGRAVIA, BECOMING DIFFUSED AND SPORADIC WESTWARD, FINDING ITS LAST SYSTEMATIC OUTBREAK ROUND AND ABOUT REGENT'S PARK. THE DUKE OF DEVONSHIRE'S PLACE IN PICCADILLY, IN ALL ITS INSOLENT UGLINESS, PLEASES ME PARTICULARLY, IT IS THE QUINTESSENCE OF THE THING, APSLEY HOUSE IS ALL IN THE MANNER OF MY THEORY, PARK LANE HAS ITS QUITE TYPICAL MANSIONS, AND THEY RUN ALONG THE BORDER OF THE GREEN PARK AND ST. JAMES'S. AND I STRUCK OUT A TRUTH ONE DAY IN CROMWELL ROAD QUITE SUDDENLY, AS I LOOKED OVER THE NATURAL HISTORY MUSEUM; "BY JOVE!" SAID I, "BUT THIS IS THE LITTLE ASSEMBLAGE OF CASES OF STUFFED BIRDS AND ANIMALS UPON THE BLADESOVER STAIRCASE GROWN ENORMOUS, AND YONDER AS THE CORRESPONDING THING TO THE BLADESOVER CURIOS AND PORCELAIN IS THE ART MUSEUM, AND THERE IN THE LITTLE OBSERVATORIES IN EXHIBITION ROAD IS OLD SIR CUTHBERT'S GREGORIAN TELESCOPE THAT I HUNTED OUT IN THE STOREROOM AND PUT TOGETHER." AND DIVING INTO THE ART MUSEUM UNDER THIS INSPIRATION, I CAME TO A LITTLE READING-ROOM AND FOUND, AS I HAD INFERRED, OLD BROWN BOOKS!

IT WAS REALLY A GOOD PIECE OF SOCIAL COMPARATIVE ANATOMY I DID THAT DAY; ALL THESE MUSEUMS AND LIBRARIES THAT ARE DOTTED OVER LONDON BETWEEN PICCADILLY AND WEST KENSINGTON, AND INDEED THE MUSEUM AND LIBRARY MOVEMENT THROUGHOUT THE WORLD, SPRANG FROM THE ELEGANT LEISURE OF THE GENTLEMEN OF TASTE. THEIRS WERE THE FIRST LIBRARIES, THE FIRST HOUSES OF CULTURE; BY MY RAT-LIKE RAIDS INTO THE BLADESOVER SALOON I BECAME, AS IT WERE, THE LAST DWINDLED REPRESENTATIVE OF SUCH A MAN OF LETTERS AS SWIFT. BUT NOW THESE THINGS HAVE ESCAPED OUT OF THE GREAT HOUSE ALTOGETHER, AND TAKEN ON A STRANGE INDEPENDENT LIFE OF THEIR OWN.

IT IS THIS IDEA OF ESCAPING PARTS FROM THE SEVENTEENTH-CENTURY SYSTEM OF BLADESOVER, OF PROLIFERATING AND OVERGROWING ELEMENTS FROM THE ESTATES, THAT TO THIS DAY SEEMS TO ME THE BEST EXPLANATION, NOT SIMPLY OF LONDON, BUT OF ALL ENGLAND. ENGLAND IS A COUNTRY OF GREAT RENASCENCE LANDED GENTLEFOLK WHO HAVE BEEN UNCONSCIOUSLY OUTGROWN AND OVERGROWN. THE PROPER SHOPS FOR BLADESOVER CUSTOM WERE STILL TO BE FOUND IN REGENT STREET AND BOND STREET IN MY EARLY LONDON DAYS - IN THOSE DAYS THEY HAD BEEN BUT LIGHTLY TOUCHED BY THE AMERICAN'S PROFANING HAND - AND IN PICCADILLY. I FOUND THE DOCTOR'S HOUSE OF THE COUNTRY VILLAGE OR COUNTRY TOWN UP AND DOWN HARLEY STREET, MULTIPLIED BUT NOT OTHERWISE DIFFERENT, AND THE FAMILY SOLICITOR (BY THE HUNDRED) FURTHER EASTWARD IN THE ABANDONED HOUSES OF A PREVIOUS GENERATION OF GENTLEPEOPLE, AND DOWN IN WESTMINSTER, BEHIND PALLADIAN FRONTS, THE PUBLIC OFFICES SHELTERED IN LARGE BLADESOVERISH ROOMS AND LOOKED OUT ON ST. JAMES'S PARK. THE PARLIAMENT HOUSES OF LORDS AND GENTLEMEN, THE PARLIAMENT HOUSE THAT WAS HORRIFIED WHEN MERCHANTS AND BREWERS CAME THRUSTING INTO IT A HUNDRED YEARS AGO, STOOD OUT UPON ITS TERRACE GATHERING THE WHOLE SYSTEM TOGETHER INTO A HEAD.

AND THE MORE I HAVE PARALLELED THESE THINGS WITH MY BLADESOVER-EASTRY MODEL, THE MORE EVIDENT IT HAS BECOME TO ME THAT THE BALANCE IS NOT THE SAME, AND THE MORE EVIDENT IS THE PRESENCE OF GREAT NEW FORCES, BLIND FORCES OF INVASION, OF GROWTH. THE RAILWAY TERMINI ON THE NORTH SIDE OF LONDON HAVE BEEN KEPT AS REMOTE AS EASTRY HAD KEPT THE RAILWAY-STATION FROM WIMBLEHURST, THEY STOP ON THE VERY OUTSKIRTS OF THE ESTATES, BUT FROM THE SOUTH, THE SOUTH EASTERN RAILWAY HAD BUTTED ITS GREAT STUPID, RUSTY IRON HEAD OF CHARING CROSS STATION - THAT GREAT HEAD THAT CAME SMASHING DOWN IN 1905 - CLEAN ACROSS THE RIVER, BETWEEN SOMERSET HOUSE AND WHITEHALL. THE SOUTH SIDE HAD NO PROTECTING ESTATES. FACTORY CHIMNEYS SMOKE RIGHT OVER AGAINST WESTMINSTER WITH AN AIR OF CARELESSLY NOT HAVING PERMISSION, AND THE WHOLE EFFECT OF INDUSTRIAL LONDON AND OF ALL LONDON EAST OF TEMPLE BAR AND OF THE HUGE, DINGY IMMENSITY OF LONDON PORT, IS TO ME SOMETHING DISPROPORTIONATELY LARGE, SOMETHING MORBIDLY EX- PANDED, WITHOUT PLAN OR INTENTION, DARK AND SINISTER TOWARD THE CLEAN, CLEAR, SOCIAL ASSURANCE OF THE WEST END. AND SOUTH OF THIS CENTRAL LONDON, SOUTH-EAST, SOUTH-WEST, FAR WEST, NORTH-WEST, ALL ROUND THE NORTHERN HILLS, ARE SIMILAR DISPROPORTIONATE GROWTHS, ENDLESS STREETS OF UNDISTINGUISHED HOUSES, UNDISTINGUISHED INDUSTRIES, SHABBY FAMILIES, SECOND-RATE SHOPS, INEXPLICABLE PEOPLE WHO IN A ONCE FASHIONABLE PHRASE DO NOT "EXIST". ALL THESE ASPECTS HAVE SUGGESTED TO MY MIND AT TIMES, DO SUGGEST TO THIS DAY, THE UNORGANIZED, ABUNDANT SUBSTANCE OF SOME TUMOUROUS GROWTH-PROCESS, A PROCESS WHICH INDEED BURSTS ALL THE OUTLINES OF THE AFFECTED CARCASS AND PRO-TRUDES SUCH MASSES AS IGNOBLE, COMFORTABLE CROYDON, AS TRAGIC, IMPOVERISHED WEST HAM. TO THIS DAY I ASK MYSELF WILL THOSE MASSES EVER BECOME STRUCTURAL, WILL THEY INDEED SHAPE INTO ANYTHING NEW WHATEVER, OR IS THAT CANCEROUS IMAGE THEIR TRUE AND ULTIMATE DIAGNOSIS? . . .

MOREOVER, TOGETHER WITH THIS HYPERTROPHY THERE IS AN IMMIGRATION OF ELEMENTS THAT HAVE NEVER UNDERSTOOD AND NEVER WILL UNDERSTAND THE GREAT TRADITION, WEDGES OF FOREIGN SETTLEMENT EMBEDDED IN THE HEART OF THIS YEASTY ENGLISH EXPANSION. ONE DAY I REMEMBER WANDERING EASTWARD OUT OF PURE CURIOSITY - IT MUST HAVE BEEN IN MY EARLY STUDENT DAYS - AND DISCOVERING A SHABBILY BRIGHT FOREIGN QUARTER, SHOPS DISPLAYING HEBREW PLACARDS AND WEIRD, UNFAMILIAR COMMODITIES, AND A CONCOURSE OF BRIGHT-EYED, EAGLE-NOSED PEOPLE TALKING SOME INCOMPREHENSIBLE GIBBERISH BETWEEN THE SHOPS AND THE BARROWS. AND SOON I BECAME QUITE FAMILIAR WITH THE DEVIOUS, VICIOUS, DIRTILY-PLEASANT EXOTICISM OF SOHO. I FOUND THOSE CROWDED STREETS A VAST RELIEF FROM THE DULL GREY EXTERIOR OF BROMPTON WHERE I LODGED AND LIVED MY DAILY LIFE. IN SOHO, INDEED, I GOT MY FIRST INKLING OF THE FACTOR OF REPLACEMENT THAT IS SO IMPORTANT IN BOTH THE ENGLISH AND THE AMERICAN PROCESS.

EVEN IN THE WEST END, IN MAYFAIR AND THE SQUARES ABOUT PALL MALL, EWART WAS PRESENTLY TO REMIND ME THE FACE OF THE OLD ARISTOCRATIC DIGNITY WAS FAIRER THAN ITS SUBSTANCE, HERE WERE ACTORS AND ACTRESSES, HERE MONEYLENDERS AND JEWS, HERE BOLD FINANCIAL ADVENTURERS, AND I THOUGHT OF MY UNCLE'S FRAYED CUFF AS HE POINTED OUT THIS HOUSE IN PARK LANE AND THAT. THAT WAS SO AND SO'S WHO MADE A CORNER IN BORAX, AND THAT PALACE BELONGED TO THAT HERO AMONG MODERN ADVENTURERS, BARMENTRUDE, WHO USED TO BE AN I.D.B. - AN ILLICIT DIAMOND BUYER, THAT IS TO SAY. A CITY OF BLADESOVERS, THE CAPITAL OF A KINGDOM OF BLADESOVERS, ALL MUCH SHAKEN AND MANY ALTOGETHER IN DECAY, PARASITICALLY OCCUPIED, INSIDIOUSLY REPLACED BY ALIEN, UNSYMPATHETIC AND IRRESPONSIBLE ELEMENTS; - AND WITHAL RULING AN ADVENTITIOUS AND MISCELLANEOUS EMPIRE OF A QUARTER OF THIS DAEDAL EARTH. COMPLEX LAWS, INTRICATE SOCIAL NECESSITIES, DISTURBING INSATIABLE SUGGESTIONS, FOLLOWED FROM THIS. SUCH WAS THE WORLD INTO WHICH I HAD COME, INTO WHICH I HAD IN SOME WAY TO THRUST MYSELF AND FIT MY PROBLEM, MY TEMPTATIONS, MY EFFORTS, MY PATRIOTIC INSTINCT, ALL MY MORAL INSTINCTS, MY PHYSICAL APPETITES, MY DREAMS AND MY VANITY.

LONDON! I CAME UP TO IT, YOUNG AND WITHOUT ADVISERS, RATHER PRIGGISH, RATHER DANGEROUSLY OPEN-MINDED AND VERY OPEN-EYED, AND WITH SOMETHING - IT IS I THINK THE COMMON GIFT OF IMAGINATIVE YOUTH, AND I CLAIM IT UNBLUSHINGLY - FINE IN ME, FINER THAN THE WORLD AND SEEKING FINE RESPONSES. I DID NOT WANT SIMPLY TO LIVE OR SIMPLY TO LIVE HAPPILY OR WELL, I WANTED TO SERVE AND DO AND MAKE - WITH SOME NOBILITY. IT WAS IN ME. IT IS IN HALF THE YOUTH OF THE WORLD.

Title: Night and Day Author: Virginia Woolf Publication: The Hogarth Press, London, 1919.

HAPPILY FOR MARY DATCHET SHE RETURNED TO THE OFFICE TO FIND THAT BY SOME OBSCURE PARLIAMENTARY MANOEUVRE THE VOTE HAD ONCE MORE SLIPPED BEYOND THE ATTAINMENT OF WOMEN. MRS. SEAL WAS IN A CONDITION BORDERING UPON FRENZY. THE DUPLICITY OF MINISTERS, THE TREACHERY OF MANKIND, THE INSULT TO WOMANHOOD, THE SETBACK TO CIVILIZATION, THE RUIN OF HER LIFE'S WORK, THE FEELINGS OF HER FATHER'S DAUGHTER - ALL THESE TOPICS WERE DISCUSSED IN TURN, AND THE OFFICE WAS LITTERED WITH NEWSPAPER CUTTINGS BRANDED WITH THE BLUE, IF AMBIGUOUS, MARKS OF HER DISPLEASURE. SHE CONFESSED HERSELF AT FAULT IN HER ESTIMATE OF HUMAN NATURE.

"THE SIMPLE ELEMENTARY ACTS OF JUSTICE," SHE SAID, WAVING HER HAND TOWARDS THE WINDOW, AND INDICATING THE FOOT-PASSENGERS AND OMNIBUSES THEN PASSING DOWN THE FAR SIDE OF RUSSELL SQUARE, "ARE AS FAR BEYOND THEM AS THEY EVER WERE. WE CAN ONLY LOOK UPON OURSELVES, MARY, AS PIONEERS IN A WILDERNESS. WE CAN ONLY GO ON PATIENTLY PUTTING THE TRUTH BEFORE THEM. IT ISN'T THEM," SHE CONTINUED, TAKING HEART FROM HER SIGHT OF THE TRAFFIC, "IT'S THEIR LEADERS. IT'S THOSE GENTLEMEN SITTING IN PARLIAMENT AND DRAWING FOUR HUNDRED A YEAR OF THE PEOPLE'S MONEY. IF WE HAD TO PUT OUR CASE TO THE PEOPLE, WE SHOULD SOON HAVE JUSTICE DONE TO US. I HAVE ALWAYS BELIEVED IN THE PEOPLE, AND I DO SO STILL. BUT - " SHE SHOOK HER HEAD AND IMPLIED THAT SHE WOULD GIVE THEM ONE MORE CHANCE, AND IF THEY DIDN'T TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THAT SHE COULDN'T ANSWER FOR THE CONSEQUENCES.

MR. CLACTON'S ATTITUDE WAS MORE PHILOSOPHICAL AND BETTER SUPPORTED BY STATISTICS. HE CAME INTO THE ROOM AFTER MRS. SEAL'S OUTBURST AND POINTED OUT, WITH HISTORICAL ILLUSTRATIONS, THAT SUCH REVERSES HAD HAPPENED IN EVERY POLITICAL CAMPAIGN OF ANY IMPORTANCE. IF ANYTHING, HIS SPIRITS WERE IMPROVED BY THE DISASTER. THE ENEMY, HE SAID, HAD TAKEN THE OFFENSIVE; AND IT WAS NOW UP TO THE SOCIETY TO OUTWIT THE ENEMY. HE GAVE MARY TO UNDERSTAND THAT HE HAD TAKEN THE MEASURE OF THEIR CUNNING, AND HAD ALREADY BENT HIS MIND TO THE TASK WHICH, SO FAR AS SHE COULD MAKE OUT, DEPENDED SOLELY UPON HIM. IT DEPENDED, SO SHE CAME TO THINK, WHEN INVITED INTO HIS ROOM FOR A PRIVATE CONFERENCE, UPON A SYSTEMATIC REVISION OF THE CARD-INDEX, UPON THE ISSUE OF CERTAIN NEW LEMON-COLOURED LEAFLETS, IN WHICH THE FACTS WERE MARSHALLED ONCE MORE IN A VERY STRIKING WAY, AND UPON A LARGE SCALE MAP OF ENGLAND DOTTED WITH LITTLE PINS TUFTED WITH DIFFERENTLY COLOURED PLUMES OF HAIR ACCORDING TO THEIR GEOGRAPHICAL POSITION. EACH DISTRICT, UNDER THE NEW SYSTEM, HAD ITS FLAG, ITS BOTTLE OF INK, ITS SHEAF OF DOCUMENTS TABULATED AND FILED FOR REFERENCE IN A DRAWER, SO THAT BY LOOKING UNDER M OR S, AS THE CASE MIGHT BE, YOU HAD ALL THE FACTS WITH RESPECT TO THE SUFFRAGE ORGANIZATIONS OF THE COUNTY AT YOUR FINGERS' ENDS. THIS WOULD REQUIRE A GREAT DEAL OF WORK, OF COURSE.

"WE MUST TRY TO CONSIDER OURSELVES RATHER IN THE LIGHT OF A TELEPHONE EXCHANGE - FOR THE EXCHANGE OF IDEAS, MISS DATCHET," HE SAID; AND TAKING PLEASURE IN HIS IMAGE, HE CONTINUED IT. "WE SHOULD CONSIDER OURSELVES THE CENTRE OF AN ENORMOUS SYSTEM OF WIRES, CONNECTING US UP WITH EVERY DISTRICT OF THE COUNTRY. WE MUST HAVE OUR FINGERS UPON THE PULSE OF THE COMMUNITY; WE WANT TO KNOW WHAT PEOPLE ALL OVER ENGLAND ARE THINKING; WE WANT TO PUT THEM IN THE WAY OF THINKING RIGHTLY." THE SYSTEM, OF COURSE, WAS ONLY ROUGHLY SKETCHED SO FAR-JOTTED DOWN, IN FACT, DURING THE CHRISTMAS HOLIDAYS.

"WHEN YOU OUGHT TO HAVE BEEN TAKING A REST, MR. CLACTON," SAID MARY DUTIFULLY, BUT HER TONE WAS FLAT AND TIRED.

"WE LEARN TO DO WITHOUT HOLIDAYS, MISS DATCHET," SAID MR. CLACTON, WITH A SPARK OF SATISFACTION IN HIS EYE.

HE WISHED PARTICULARLY TO HAVE HER OPINION OF THE LEMON-COLOURED LEAFLET. ACCORDING TO HIS PLAN, IT WAS TO BE DISTRIBUTED IN IMMENSE QUANTITIES IMMEDIATELY, IN ORDER TO STIMULATE AND GENERATE, "TO GENERATE AND STIMULATE," HE REPEATED, "RIGHT THOUGHTS IN THE COUNTRY BEFORE THE MEETING OF PARLIAMENT."

"WE HAVE TO TAKE THE ENEMY BY SURPRISE," HE SAID.

"THEY DON'T LET THE GRASS GROW UNDER THEIR FEET. HAVE YOU SEEN BINGHAM'S ADDRESS TO HIS CONSTITUENTS? THAT'S A HINT OF THE SORT OF THING WE'VE GOT TO MEET, MISS DATCHET."

HE HANDED HER A GREAT BUNDLE OF NEWSPAPER CUTTINGS, AND, BEGGING HER TO GIVE HIM HER VIEWS UPON THE YELLOW LEAFLET BEFORE LUNCH-TIME, HE TURNED WITH ALACRITY TO HIS DIFFERENT SHEETS OF PAPER AND HIS DIFFERENT BOTTLES OF INK.

MARY SHUT THE DOOR, LAID THE DOCUMENTS UPON HER TABLE, AND SANK HER HEAD ON HER HANDS. HER BRAIN WAS CURIOUSLY EMPTY OF ANY THOUGHT. SHE LISTENED, AS IF, PERHAPS, BY LISTENING SHE WOULD BECOME MERGED AGAIN IN THE ATMOSPHERE OF THE OFFICE. FROM THE NEXT ROOM CAME THE RAPID SPASMODIC SOUNDS OF MRS. SEAL'S ERRATIC TYPEWRITING; SHE, DOUBTLESS, WAS ALREADY HARD AT WORK HELPING THE PEOPLE OF ENGLAND, AS MR. CLACTON PUT IT, TO THINK RIGHTLY; "GENERATING AND STIMULATING," THOSE WERE HIS WORDS. SHE WAS STRIKING A BLOW AGAINST THE ENEMY, NO DOUBT, WHO DIDN'T LET THE GRASS GROW BENEATH THEIR FEET. MR. CLACTON'S WORDS REPEATED THEMSELVES ACCURATELY IN HER BRAIN. SHE PUSHED THE PAPERS WEARILY OVER TO THE FARTHER SIDE OF THE TABLE. IT WAS NO USE, THOUGH; SOMETHING OR OTHER HAD HAPPENED TO HER BRAIN - A CHANGE OF FOCUS SO THAT NEAR THINGS WERE INDISTINCT AGAIN. THE SAME THING HAD HAPPENED TO HER ONCE BEFORE, SHE REMEMBERED, AFTER SHE HAD MET RALPH IN THE GARDENS OF LINCOLN'S INN FIELDS; SHE HAD SPENT THE WHOLE OF A COMMITTEE MEETING IN THINKING ABOUT SPARROWS AND COLOURS, UNTIL, ALMOST AT THE END OF THE MEETING, HER OLD CONVICTIONS HAD ALL COME BACK TO HER. BUT THEY HAD ONLY COME BACK, SHE THOUGHT WITH SCORN AT HER FEEBLENESS, BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO USE THEM TO FIGHT AGAINST RALPH. THEY WEREN'T, RIGHTLY SPEAKING, CONVICTIONS AT ALL. SHE COULD NOT SEE THE WORLD DIVIDED INTO SEPARATE COMPARTMENTS OF GOOD PEOPLE AND BAD PEOPLE, ANY MORE THAN SHE COULD BELIEVE SO IMPLICITLY IN THE RIGHTNESS OF HER OWN THOUGHT AS TO WISH TO BRING THE POPULATION OF THE BRITISH ISLES INTO AGREEMENT WITH IT. SHE LOOKED AT THE LEMON-COLOURED LEAFLET, AND THOUGHT ALMOST ENVIOUSLY OF THE FAITH WHICH COULD FIND COMFORT IN THE ISSUE OF SUCH DOCUMENTS; FOR HERSELF SHE WOULD BE CONTENT TO REMAIN SILENT FOR EVER IF A SHARE OF PERSONAL HAPPINESS WERE GRANTED HER. SHE READ MR. CLACTON'S STATEMENT WITH A CURIOUS DIVISION OF JUDGMENT, NOTING ITS WEAK AND POMPOUS VERBOSITY ON THE ONE HAND, AND, AT THE SAME TIME, FEELING THAT FAITH, FAITH IN AN ILLUSION, PERHAPS, BUT, AT ANY RATE, FAITH IN SOMETHING, WAS OF ALL GIFTS THE MOST TO BE ENVIED. AN ILLUSION IT WAS, NO DOUBT. SHE LOOKED CURIOUSLY ROUND HER AT THE FURNITURE OF THE OFFICE, AT THE MACHINERY IN WHICH SHE HAD TAKEN SO MUCH PRIDE, AND MARVELLED TO THINK THAT ONCE THE COPYING-PRESSES, THE CARD-INDEX, THE FILES OF DOCUMENTS, HAD ALL BEEN SHROUDED, WRAPPED IN SOME MIST WHICH GAVE THEM A UNITY AND A GENERAL DIGNITY AND PURPOSE INDEPENDENTLY OF THEIR SEPARATE SIGNIFICANCE. THE UGLY CUMBERSOMENESS OF THE FURNITURE ALONE IMPRESSED HER NOW. HER ATTITUDE HAD BECOME VERY LAX AND DESPONDENT WHEN THE TYPEWRITER STOPPED IN THE NEXT ROOM. MARY IMMEDIATELY DREW UP TO THE TABLE, LAID HANDS ON AN UNOPENED ENVELOPE, AND ADOPTED AN EXPRESSION WHICH MIGHT HIDE HER STATE OF MIND FROM MRS. SEAL. SOME INSTINCT OF DECENCY REQUIRED THAT SHE SHOULD NOT ALLOW MRS. SEAL TO SEE HER FACE. SHADING HER EYES WITH HER FINGERS, SHE WATCHED MRS. SEAL PULL OUT ONE DRAWER AFTER ANOTHER IN HER SEARCH FOR SOME ENVELOPE OR LEAFLET. SHE WAS TEMPTED TO DROP HER FINGERS AND EXCLAIM:

"DO SIT DOWN, SALLY, AND TELL ME HOW YOU MANAGE IT - HOW YOU MANAGE, THAT IS, TO BUSTLE ABOUT WITH PERFECT CONFIDENCE IN THE NECESSITY OF YOUR OWN ACTIVITIES, WHICH TO ME SEEM AS FUTILE AS THE BUZZING OF A BELATED BLUEBOTTLE." SHE SAID NOTHING OF THE KIND, HOWEVER, AND THE PRETENCE OF INDUSTRY WHICH SHE PRESERVED SO LONG AS MRS. SEAL WAS IN THE ROOM SERVED TO SET HER BRAIN IN MOTION, SO THAT SHE DISPATCHED HER MORNING'S WORK MUCH AS USUAL. AT ONE O'CLOCK SHE WAS SURPRISED TO FIND HOW EFFICIENTLY SHE HAD DEALT WITH THE MORNING. AS SHE PUT HER HAT ON SHE DETERMINED TO LUNCH AT A SHOP IN THE STRAND, SO AS TO SET THAT OTHER PIECE OF MECHANISM, HER BODY, INTO ACTION. WITH A BRAIN WORKING AND A BODY WORKING ONE COULD KEEP STEP WITH THE CROWD AND NEVER BE FOUND OUT FOR THE HOLLOW MACHINE, LACKING THE ESSENTIAL THING, THAT ONE WAS CONSCIOUS OF BEING.

SHE CONSIDERED HER CASE AS SHE WALKED DOWN THE CHARING CROSS ROAD. SHE PUT TO HERSELF A SERIES OF QUESTIONS. WOULD SHE MIND, FOR EXAMPLE, IF THE WHEELS OF THAT MOTOR-OMNIBUS PASSED OVER HER AND CRUSHED HER TO DEATH? NO, NOT IN THE LEAST; OR AN ADVENTURE WITH THAT DISAGREEABLE-LOOKING MAN HANGING ABOUT THE ENTRANCE OF THE TUBE STATION? NO; SHE COULD NOT CONCEIVE FEAR OR EXCITEMENT. DID SUFFERING IN ANY FORM APPAL HER? NO, SUFFERING WAS NEITHER GOOD NOR BAD. AND THIS ESSENTIAL THING? IN THE EYES OF EVERY SINGLE PERSON SHE DETECTED A FLAME; AS IF A SPARK IN THE BRAIN IGNITED SPONTANEOUSLY AT CONTACT WITH THE THINGS THEY MET AND DROVE THEM ON. THE YOUNG WOMEN LOOKING INTO THE MILLINERS' WINDOWS HAD THAT LOOK IN THEIR EYES; AND ELDERLY MEN TURNING OVER BOOKS IN THE SECOND-HAND BOOKSHOPS, AND EAGERLY WAITING TO HEAR WHAT THE PRICE WAS - THE VERY LOWEST PRICE - THEY HAD IT TOO. BUT SHE CARED NOTHING AT ALL FOR CLOTHES OR FOR MONEY EITHER. BOOKS SHE SHRANK FROM, FOR THEY WERE CONNECTED TOO CLOSELY WITH RALPH. SHE KEPT ON HER WAY RESOLUTELY THROUGH THE CROWD OF PEOPLE, AMONG WHOM SHE WAS SO MUCH OF AN ALIEN, FEELING THEM CLEAVE AND GIVE WAY BEFORE HER.

STRANGE THOUGHTS ARE BRED IN PASSING THROUGH CROWDED STREETS SHOULD THE PASSENGER, BY CHANCE, HAVE NO EXACT DESTINATION IN FRONT OF HIM, MUCH AS THE MIND SHAPES ALL KINDS OF FORMS, SOLUTIONS, IMAGES WHEN LISTENING INATTENTIVELY TO MUSIC. FROM AN ACUTE CONSCIOUSNESS OF HERSELF AS AN INDIVIDUAL, MARY PASSED TO A CONCEPTION OF THE SCHEME OF THINGS IN WHICH, AS A HUMAN BEING, SHE MUST HAVE HER SHARE. SHE HALF HELD A VISION; THE VISION SHAPED AND DWINDLED. SHE WISHED SHE HAD A PENCIL AND A PIECE OF PAPER TO HELP HER TO GIVE A FORM TO THIS CONCEPTION WHICH COMPOSED ITSELF AS SHE WALKED DOWN THE CHARING CROSS ROAD. BUT IF SHE TALKED TO ANY ONE, THE CONCEPTION MIGHT ESCAPE HER. HER VISION SEEMED TO LAY OUT THE LINES OF HER LIFE UNTIL DEATH IN A WAY WHICH SATISFIED HER SENSE OF HARMONY. IT ONLY NEEDED A PERSISTENT EFFORT OF THOUGHT, STIMULATED IN THIS STRANGE WAY BY THE CROWD AND THE NOISE, TO CLIMB THE CREST OF EXISTENCE AND SEE IT ALL LAID OUT ONCE AND FOR EVER. ALREADY HER SUFFERING AS AN INDIVIDUAL WAS LEFT BEHIND HER. OF THIS PROCESS, WHICH WAS TO HER SO FULL OF EFFORT, WHICH COMPRISED INFINITELY SWIFT AND FULL PASSAGES OF THOUGHT, LEADING FROM ONE CREST TO ANOTHER, AS SHE SHAPED HER CONCEPTION OF LIFE IN THIS WORLD, ONLY TWO ARTICULATE WORDS ESCAPED HER, MUTTERED BENEATH HER BREATH - "NOT HAPPINESS - NOT HAPPINESS."

SHE SAT DOWN ON A SEAT OPPOSITE THE STATUE OF ONE OF LONDON'S HEROES UPON THE EMBANKMENT, AND SPOKE THE WORDS ALOUD. TO HER THEY REPRESENTED THE RARE FLOWER OR SPLINTER OF ROCK BROUGHT DOWN BY A CLIMBER IN PROOF THAT HE HAS STOOD FOR A MOMENT, AT LEAST, UPON THE HIGHEST PEAK OF THE MOUNTAIN. SHE HAD BEEN UP THERE AND SEEN THE WORLD SPREAD TO THE HORIZON. IT WAS NOW NECESSARY TO ALTER HER COURSE TO SOME EXTENT, ACCORDING TO HER NEW RESOLVE. HER POST SHOULD BE IN ONE OF THOSE EXPOSED AND DESOLATE STATIONS WHICH ARE SHUNNED NATURALLY BY HAPPY PEOPLE. SHE ARRANGED THE DETAILS OF THE NEW PLAN IN HER MIND, NOT WITHOUT A GRIM SATISFACTION.

Title: Money Author: Amis, Martin Date: 1984 Publisher: Penguin B John Self (first person narrator) C Terry Linex G Fielding Goodney J Witch K Red Keith X unknown Y patrons of the Italian restaurant

I stood at the bar with the Morning Line, WITCH WHO LIED FOR DR SEX. ITS ONLY...PUPPY LOVE. I BACK IRA — RED KEITH. MY SECRET LOVE BY TV'S MIDGE: SEE CENTRE PAGES. Now is this any way to interpret the world? Seems there's a major rumble brewing in Poland. Solidarity is giving Moscow the V-signs and fight-intros. Russia will beat Poland up, I'm sure, if things go on this way. That's what I'd do. I mean, give them an inch... The speculation about Lady Diana's trousseau continues. I have no strong views on the trousseau, but I wish they'd show that famous snap again, the one where she's holding the kid in her arms and you can see right through her dress. A barmaid who cudgelled her landlord boyfriend to death with a beer flagon has been sentenced to eighteen months imprisonment (suspended). How come? Because she pleaded Pre-Menstrual Tension. I'd have thought that PMT was enough of a male hazard anyway, without that kind of mollycoddling. Another granny has been mob-raped in her sock by black boys and skinheads. What is the new craze for grannies? This one's eighty-two, for Christ's sake. Getting raped at that age — Jesus, it must be the last thing you need. Here's another piece about that chick who's dying in her teens because, according to the Line, she's allergic to the twentieth century. Poor kid … Well I have my problems too, sister, but I don't have yours, I'm not allergic to the twentieth century. I am addicted to the twentieth century.

Terminal Three was in terminal chaos, the air and light suffused with last things, planet panic, money Judgement. We are fleeing Earth for a new world while there is still hope, while there are still changes. I queued, checked in, climbed the stairs, hit the bar, I got frisked, X-rayed, cleared, I hit the bar, plundered duty-free, walked the chutes, paced the waiting room until we entered the ship, two by two, all types represented, to make our getaway … Aboard the travel tube (a new kind of waiting room) we sat in lines, like an audience, to check out the art therapy on offer: toothache muzak, and, adorning the canvas curtain of the home-movie screen, a harbour view from a bracingly talentless brush. Next, the death-defying act from the stewardesses, those bashful girls and their oxygen mine. But the stalls gave the bird to this dance of doom. Unhooked from London, we boiled and shuddered and raced. Away! I thought, as we climbed through the air with the greatest of ease.

I looked down at the pretty patterns that streets don't know they make. Me, I was flying economy, but the plane, churning sideways now, was guzzling gas at seven gallons a mile. Even the Fiasco is more economical than that. I was flying economy, but I too needed my fuel. With cigarette and lighter cocked, I awaited the release of NO SMOKING. Twisting my neck, I monitored the funereal approach of the drinks trolley. I wolfed down my lunch, charming a second helping out of the all-smiles stewardess. I love airline food and further suspect that there's money in it somewhere. I once tried to interest Terry Linex in the idea of opening an airfood restaurant. Obviously you'd need proper seats, trays, mayonnaise sachets, and so on. You could even have video films, semi-darkness, no-smoking sections, paper bags. Linex liked the way I was thinking, but he said that you'd never get the punters in and out quickly enough. The food would never be fast enough to make really fast money …

Using the costly head-pincers, I watched the in-flight movie. The movie was a wreck, of course. The movie was a flapping, squawking, gobbling turkey. I hope my movie is better than that: I certainly hope it makes more money. (An airline sale within three months of release? This has to be a tragedy for everyone involved.) You know, the thing I want more than anything else — you could call it my dream in life — is to make lots of money. I would cheerfully go into the alchemy business, if it existed and made lots of money … We travelled on through air and time. Still four hours to kill. Drinking and smoking, alas, do not claim one's undivided attention. That's the only fault I have to find with these activities. Some people, it seems to me are never satisfied. Not content with her smart new chequebook, Selina now wants a Vantage card. Oh yeah, and a baby. A baby … I looked around the quarter-empty aircraft. Everyone appeared to be sleeping or reading. I suppose reading must come in quite handy at times like these. The tousled girl in front of me, she was reading a buxom magazine: its text was in French, I think, but even I could tell that the article she scanned was about fellatio technique — blowjob knowhow. The fur coat on the seat beside her was uncontrollably voluminous, like a distending liferaft. She was flying to her man, or maybe she was flying away from him, to another one. The intent, bespectacled young lady to my left, in contrast, was reading a book called Rousseau's Philosophy. This gave me a neat opening. I fetched another fistful of miniatures and spent the rest of the flight telling her about my philosophy. It was tough, but we got through the time somehow.

"I have travelled widely", said Fielding Goodney, "in the world of pornography. Always endeavour, Slick, to keep a fix on the addiction industries: you can't lose. The addicts can't win. Dope, liquor, gambling, anything video — these have to be the deep-money veins. Nowadays the responsible businessman keeps a finger on the pulse of dependence. What next? All projections are targeting the low-energy, domestic stuff, the schlep factor. People just can't hack going out any more. They're all addicted to staying at home Hence the shit-food bonanza. Swallow your chemicals, swallow them fast, and get back inside. Or take the junk back with you. Stay off the streets, Stay inside. With pornography …"

"…Yes?" I said.

I sipped my crimson drink. I lit another cigarette. We were in an Italian restaurant, well south of SoHo — Tribeca somewhere. Fielding said it was a mob joint and I believed him: brocade, matt light, as quiet as a church. I am a standard, no-frills Earthling, but Goodney, in his white suit, suntan and sliding blond hair, stood out like a pink elephant among the sin-sick funeral directors lurking and cruising against the blood-coloured walls. These guys, they seemed to talk without moving their legs. Just then, a middle-aged, blow-dried villain — the usual opera-star face, woozy with loot and mother-love — urged a neon redhead past our table, our good table, to which Fielding had been instantly and officiously steered.

Fielding looked up. He paused. "Antonio Pisello," he said, "Tony Cazzo — from Staten Island. He was shot in the heart five years ago. Know what saved him?" he asked, and jabbed his own ribs with a long straight thumb. "Credit cards — kept in a deck, with a band. Used to be a bad boy, but now he's pretty well totally legit."

"And the girl?"

"Willa Glueck. Smart lady. A grand-a-nighter hooker, semi-retired. For ten years she worked the streets — you know, giving head and hand at a dollar a dick. Then five years at the top, the very top. No one knows how she made the switch. It just doesn't happen. Look at her, the eyes, the mouth — superb. No evidence. I can't figure it. I hate it when I can't figure things."

Indeed, lamentably under-informed, Fielding Goodney. He smiled in innocent self-reproach, then swung sternly and made the reverse V-sign at the watchful waiter. Two more Red Snappers were on their way. We ordered. Fielding held the crimson menu (silken, tasselled and beautified, reminding me and my fingers of Selina and her secrets) in slender brown hands, the wrists cuffed in pale blue and the gold links taut on their chains. Over dinner Fielding explained to me about the lucrative contingencies of pornography, the pandemonium of Forty-Second Street, the Boylesk dealerships on Seventh Avenue with their prodigies of chickens and chains, the Malibu circuit with the crews splashing through the set at dusk for the last degrees of heft and twang and purchase from the beached male lead on the motel floor, the soft proliferations of soft core in worldwide cable and network and its careful codes of airbrush and dick-wipe, the stupendous aberrations of Germany and Japan, the perversion-targeting in video mail-order, the mob snuff-movie operation conceived in Mexico City and dying in the Five Boroughs.

And I asked him, "These movies — they exist?"

"Sure. But not many, not for long and not any more." Fielding (I noticed) cut his veal in the normal way, but then passed his fork to the right hand to prong the meat. "Come on, Slick, be realistic. If there was money there, it had to be tried …The girls were vagrants."

"Ever seen one?"

"You understand what you're asking me? You're asking me if I'm an accessory after the fact to first-degree murder. Not me, Slick. This was organized crime, superorganized. No other way. Snuff movies — now this is evidence."

And then his manner, the force field he gave off, it changed, not for long. He became pointed, intimate. He said,

'Clinching, no? Evidence that it corrupts, pornography, wouldn't you say?' He relaxed, and so did his manner. 'Too hot, Slick. No one could use them. A distribution problem.'

We went on to discuss our distribution problem, which, according to my pal Fielding, was absolutely non-existent. We would simply lease out the finished product: that way, said Fielding, we preserved our artistic freedom while making much, much more money. I thought only the big boys could pull off a gimmick like this, but the kid had it all worked out. His contacts were extraordinary, and not just in movies either. As he talked, and as I hunkered down to a long train of grappa and espresso, I felt the clasp and nuzzle of real money. Money, my bodyguard.

'You know, Slick,' he said, '- sometimes business looks to me like a big dumb dog howling to be played with. Want to know my hunch for the next growth area in the addiction line? Want to make a million? Shall I let you in?'

'Do it,' I said.

'Cuddles,' said Fielding Goodney. 'Cuddling up. Two people lying down and generating warmth and safety. Now how do we market this. A how-to book? A video? Nightshirts? A cuddle studio, with cuddle hostesses? Think about it, Slick. There are millions and millions of dollars out there somewhere in cuddles.'

Fielding caught the unspectacular tab, leaving a twenty on the plate. His hired Autocrat was waiting on the street. At one point Fielding turned to me and said, with midtown flashing against his face, 'Oh, I misled you, Slick, earlier on there. It's murder two not murder one. New York, murder one is just for cops, prison officers, shit like that. Forgive me.' I slipped out near Times Square. I heard Fielding give the driver an address on feminine Park Avenue.

I walked unsteadily through the heat of the pornographic night. As for my own body-clock readings and time-travel coordinates, well, it was 6 a.m. in here, and fuming with booze. I had travelled far that day, through space and through time. Man, how I needed to crash. Among the alleys and rooftops near the Ashbery, Fielding tells me, a nimble maniac sprints and climbs at large. What he needs to do is drop slating and masonry on to the heads of strolling theatre-goers and diners. He has done it five times now. He has had five hits. One was fatal. Murder two. Ultraviolet policemen lie in wait up there but they can't seem to catch him, this rooftop psychopath, adept of eave and sill, of buttress and skyhatch, this infinite-mass artist. So he darts and shinnies his way through the gothic jaggedness of fire-escapes, drainpipes and TV aerials, while beneath him Broadway crackles in late-night styrofoam, and there is no money involved. There is no money for him up there at any point.

Date: 1963 Title: THE COLLECTOR Author: John Fowles B narrator (1st person) C the captor G Penny Lester J somebody else at Ladymount K God L G.P. M "the whole town"
2 October 14th?

It's the seventh night.

I keep on thinking the same thing. If only they knew. If only they knew.

Share the outrage.

So now I'm trying to tell it to this pad he bought me this morning. His kindness.

Calmly.

Deep down I get more and more frightened. It's only surface calm.

No nastiness, no sex thing. But his eyes are mad. Grey with a grey lost light in them. To begin with I watched him all the time. I thought it must be sex, if I turned my back I did it where he couldn't spring at me, and I listened. I had to know exactly where he was in the room.

Power. It's become so real.

I know the H-bomb is wrong. But being so weak seems wrong now too.

I wish I knew judo. Could make him cry for mercy.

This crypt-room is so stuffy, the walls squeeze in, I'm listening for him as I write, the thoughts I have are like bad drawings. Must be torn up at once.

Try try try to escape.

It's all I think of.

A strange thing. He fascinates me. I feel the deepest contempt and loathing for him, I can't stand this room, everybody will be wild with worry. I can sense their wild worry.

How can he love me? How can you love someone you don't know?

He wants desperately to please me. But that's what madmen must be like. They aren't deliberately mad, they must be as shocked in a way as everyone else when they finally do something terrible.

It's only this last day or two I could speak about him so.

All the way down here in the van it was a nightmare. Wanting to be sick and afraid of choking under the gag. And then being sick. Thinking I was going to be pulled into some thicket and raped and murdered. I was sure that was it when the van stopped, I think that was why I was sick. Not just the beastly chloroform. (I kept on remembering Penny Lester's grisly dormitory stories about how her mother survived being raped by the Japanese, I kept on saying, don't resist, don't resist. And then someone else at Ladymont once said that it takes two men to rape you. Women who let themselves be raped by one man want to be raped.) I know now that wouldn't be his way. He'd use chloroform again, or something. But that first night it was, don't resist, don't resist.

I was grateful to be alive. I am a terrible coward, I don't want to die, I love life so passionately, I never knew how much I wanted to live before. If I get out of this, I shall never be the same.

I don't care what he does. So long as I live.

It's all the vile unspeakable things he could do.

I've looked everywhere for a weapon, but there's nothing of any use, even if I had the strength and skill. I prop a chair against the iron door every night, so that at least I shall know if he tries to get in without my hearing.

Hateful primitive wash-stand and place.

The great blank door. No keyhole. Nothing.

The silence. I've got a little more used to it now. But it is terrible. Never the least sound. It makes me feel I'm always waiting.

Alive. Alive in the way that death is alive.

The collection of books on art. Nearly fifty pounds' worth, I've added them up. That first night it suddenly dawned on me that they were there for me. That I wasn't a haphazard victim after all.

Then there were the drawers full of clothes — shirts, skirts, dresses, coloured stockings, an extraordinary selection of weekend-in-Paris underwear, night-dresses. I could see they were about my size. They're too large, but he says he's seen me wear the colours.

Everything in my life seemed fine. There was G.P. But even that was strange. Exciting. Exciting.

Then this.

I slept a little with the light on, on top of the bed. I would have loved a drink, but I thought it might be drugged. I still half expect the food to be doped.

Seven days ago. It seems like seven weeks.

He looked so innocent and worried when he stopped me. He said he'd run over a dog. I thought it might be Misty. Exactly the sort of man you would not suspect. The most unwolf like.

Like falling off the edge of the world. There suddenly being an edge.

Every night I do something I haven't done for years. I lie and pray. I don't kneel, I know God despises kneelers. I lie and ask him to comfort M and D and Minny, and Caroline who must feel so guilty and everyone else, even the ones it would do good to suffer for me (or for anyone else). Like Piers and Antoinette. I ask him to help this misery who has me under his power. I ask him to help me. Not to let me be raped or abused and murdered. I ask him for light.

Literally. Daylight.

I can't stand the absolute darkness. He's bought me nightlights. I go to sleep with one glowing beside me now. Before that I left the light on.

Waking up is the worst thing. I wake up and for a moment I think I'm at home or at Caroline's. Then it hits me.

I don't know if I believe in God. I prayed to him furiously in the van when I thought I was going to die (that's a proof against, I can hear G.P. saying). But praying makes things easier.

It's all bits and pieces. I can't concentrate. I've thought so many things, and now I can't think of one.

But it makes me feel calmer. The illusion, anyway. Like working out how much money one's spent. And how much is left. October 15th

He has never had any parents, he's been brought up by an aunt. I can see her. A thin woman with a white face and a nasty tight mouth and mean grey eyes and dowdy beige tea-cosy hats and a thing about dirt and dust. Dirt and dust being everything outside her foul little back-street world.

I told him he was looking for the mother he'd never had, but of course he wouldn't listen.

He doesn't believe in God. That makes me want to believe.

I talked about me. About D and M, in a bright little matter-of-fact voice. He knew about M. I suppose the whole town knows.

My theory is that I have to unmartyr him.

The time in prison. Endless time.

The first morning. He knocked on the door and waited ten minutes (as he always does). It wasn't a nice ten minutes, all the consoling thoughts I'd scraped together during the night ran away and I was left alone. I stood there and said, if he does, don't resist, don't resist. I was going to say, do what you like, but don't kill me. Don't kill me, you can do it again. As if I was washable. Hard-wearing.

It was all different. When he came in he just stood there looking gawky and then at once, seeing him without a hat on, I knew who he was. I suppose I memorize people's features without thinking. I knew he was the clerk from the Town Hall Annexe. The fabulous pools win. His photo in the paper. We all said we'd seen him about.

He tried to deny it, but he went red. He blushes at everything.

Simple as sneezing to put him on the defensive. His face has a sort of natural &bquo;hurt&equo; set. Sheepish. No, giraffish. Like a lanky gawky giraffe. I kept on popping questions, he wouldn't answer, all he could do was look as if I had no right to ask. As if this wasn't at all what he'd bargained for.

He's never had anything to do with girls. With girls like me, anyway.

A lilywhite boy.

He's six feet. Eight or nine inches more than me. Skinny, so he looks taller than he is. Gangly. Hands too big, a nasty fleshy white and pink. Not a man's hands. Adam's apple too big, wrists too big, chin much too big, underlip bitten in, edges of nostrils red. Adenoids. He's got one of those funny inbetween voices, uneducated trying to be educated. It keeps on letting him down. His whole face is too long. Dull black hair. It waves and recedes, it's coarse. Stiff. Always in place. He always wears a sports coat and flannels and a pinned tie. Even cuff-links.

He's what people call a &bquo;nice young man&equo;.

Absolutely sexless (he looks).

He has a way of standing with his hands by his side or behind his back, as if he doesn't know what on earth to do with them. Respectfully waiting for me to give my orders.

Fish-eyes. They watch. That's all. No expression.

He makes me feel capricious. Like a dissatisfied rich customer (he's a male assistant in a draper's).

It's his line. The mock-humble. Ever-so-sorry.

I sit and eat my meals and read a book and he watches me. If I tell him to go, he goes.

He's been secretly watching me for nearly two years. He loves me desperately, he was very lonely, he knew I would always be &bquo;above&equo; him. It was awful, he spoke so awkwardly, he always has to say things in a roundabout way, he always has to justify himself at the same time. I sat and listened. I couldn't look at him.

It was his heart. Sicked up all over the hideous tangerine carpet. We just sat there when he had finished. When he got up to go I tried to tell him that I understood, that I wouldn't say anything if he would take me home, but he backed away out. I tried to look very understanding, very sympathetic, but it seemed to frighten him.

The next morning I tried again, I found out what his name was (vile coincidence!), I was very reasonable, I looked up at him and appealed, but once again it just frightened him.

At lunch I told him I could see he was ashamed of what he was doing, and that it wasn't too late. You hit his conscience and it gives, but it doesn't hurt him at all. I am ashamed, he says; I know I ought, he says. I told him he didn't look a wicked person. He said, this is the first wicked thing I've ever done.

It probably is. But he's been saving up.

Sometimes I think he's being very clever. He's trying to enlist my sympathy by pretending he's in the grip of some third thing.

That night I tried not being decent, being sharp and bitchy, instead. He just looked more hurt than ever. He's very clever at looking hurt.

Putting the tentacles of his being hurt around me.

His not being my &bquo;class&equo;.

I know what I am to him. A butterfly he has always wanted to catch. I remember (the very first time I met him) G.P. saying that collectors were the worst animals of all. He meant art collectors, of course. I didn't really understand, I thought he was just trying to shock Caroline — and me. But of course, he is right. They're anti-life, anti-art, anti-everything.

I write in this terrible nightlike silence as if I feel normal. But I'm not. I'm so sick, so frightened, so alone. The solitude is unbearable. Every time the door opens I want to rush at it and out. But I know now I must save up my escape attempts. Outwit him. Plan ahead.

Survive.

Title: Queen of the Tambourine Author: Jane Gardam Publisher: Abacus Date: 1992 B Eliza [first person narrator] C the nuns D an angel G Barry J women dogwalkers K Old Bernard L Miss Ingham M Marjorie Gargery O queer little jogger U Roman soldiers W Mother Ambrosine X unknown Y Nick Fish Z Barry
May 1st Let me describe to you The Hospice, m.d.J., for I don't believe you ever saw it. It's a longish, lowish sort of house that stands at the end of a wooded track in the deep part of the Common. It was once called Caesar's Farm because it's supposed to have been built on the site of a Roman encampment. A fairly romantic notion, but who knows. The nuns thought very little of it, and changed the name to The Hospice of St Julian. Julian for Julius, and there St Julian hangs in the hall above Mother Ambrosine's desk, the holy lad with the golden eyes. St Julian the Hospitaler, St Julian the patron saint of watermen and minstrels, the saint of the passing show, of the Fair. The saint who put a leper in his own bed and was told by an angel to cheer up and be happy in married love. Oh, he's the man for me.

Barry thinks he looks a sulky sort of cove. 'Like a sullen cream bun,' he says. But I gasp at his beauty. Piero della Francesca. The great eyes don't follow you about the room. They never look at you, but out of the window, over the Common and away. Away to the waters of the Common and the Fair, the Fair, the Fair. Well of course the Common's why we all came to live here, isn't it? Our Common love, ha ha. From the big roads that slash it on the London side you wouldn't think anything of it - just a round field with some grand houses standing looking at it, and a pond in the middle where we all skate in winter and fly kites and sail boats the rest of the year. Vigorous men in shorts bounce up and down on Sunday afternoons before galloping off on long-distance runs, and there's usually a horse or two with well-mannered people on board, touching their old fashioned black riding-hats with their crops. There are always dozens of dog walkers, mostly women on their own, calling out, 'Artnoon,' to each other. There's the little antique shop where you can pass the time of day, and there's a row of wisteria-strangled pastel cottages, fine furniture showing through double-locked windows, burglar alarms set at the ready. There's the seventeenth-century farm-house that's supposed to be stuffed with Rembrandts and there's the pair of thirty-foot wrought iron gates a coach and horses rattles through each night at eight o'clock, though I've never seen it. The gates lead to a new close of houses with pink and peppermint courtyard tiles. The coach stops on the tiles before a house that hasn't been there for two hundred years. Ha.

But duckie-doo, dear Joanio, beyond the pond and the patios and the golfers in their yellow jerseys, like wandering bananas, the wild part of the Common begins. Remember the sweep of bracken - nearly half a mile of it? Did you know that a French duchess used to produce plays in a glade in the middle of it? Pastoral parties for the French emigres. Marie Antoinette shepherdesses wandered down the rabbit-paths in silken pinnies, carrying ivory crooks, down to the green scythed stage. The leathery fish-bone bracken nearly met over their heads. Tinkling laughter, lemonade, sugared cakes, footmen in wigs. French farce. Deep, sleepy country then, silent as Shropshire.

Now, even louder than when you left, Joan, you can hear the traffic. You can hear it anywhere on the Common now, tearing east and west across the London counties, comforting as ships' engines, thundering along. We pay more for living near the Common now and the nuns have to pay more still to let us have the privilege of dying on it. But we still love the place for itself. It's not just the city-dweller's snob gold card, the chance he has of pretending to live in the country.

I met Old Bernard once on the Common, cursing and swearing under his breath, cracking his broken fingers, the Auschwitz number tattoo hidden beneath his shirt cuff. 'You all play at being country gentlemen,' he shouts on bad days, 'and, by Christ, it's over.' But he walks on the Common almost every day and cycles slowly about on it early in the mornings.

The Common has a presence and a spirit of its own. Beyond the pond and the coloured cottages, Joan, remember how the woods begin. Remember how the ground drops down and the trees rise and thicken. Through the trees, paths straggle, turn and dip under hanging branches, and bring you out to grassy places with butterflies and brambles and streams with bits of logs slung across for bridges. You can walk for hours seeing nobody but the odd flasher. Or you can walk through the woods, a mile or so, and out of them again into long avenues of park-like trees. You probably never went this far, always being so busy. If, like me, you had lived here for a long time, you could have watched the trees grow and change their nature - flourish, age, droop, recover, fall. They fell some of them in what looks like their prime.

I knew a tree, Joan, a birch. It stood beyond the spring. It never grew tall. It flickered and swayed. When it was young it tossed its hair. I used to wander about on the Common then almost every day watching the women with the children and the lonely, unappetising-looking men. For the likes of me they had put a seat near the trees. On the seat was a very expensive brass plate saying In memory of James and John, the sons of thunder, two Sealyhams who for many years were happy on these Commons. Classy that, the plural. Classy the brass. It got nicked like they nicked all the brass lettering off the War Memorial. Old Bernard walks by the seat cracking and crackling his tortured hands. We are used to him.

'These Commons.' Where's the other one, the other one - the Common of the golden boy, the passing Fair? Hush. Wait. I think we'll get there in the end.

Now, that lovely tree grew more and more beautiful. Its bark thickened and fumed to gold and pewter flakes. The leaves fumed first to green and then to white confetti - from silver coins like the sun on summer water to October sovereigns shaking against the autumn sky. The gold discs were scattered around in the frailest twigs on the metal branches. Then one day, it was gone.

I stood by the seat. Gone Joan, gone. The tree had gone. There was turf over the hole, neat as needlework. If you scuffed your feet about you could just make out a few white chippings in the long grass. The tree had had its knock on the door at three o'clock in the morning. Everything tidied away. Miss Ingham came by, all cardigans and wraps and her pockets bulging with the roots she pinched. She said, 'How very upsetting.'

Someone had seen the signs of mortality in the tree and spared it a lingering death. There are still badgers on the Common, Joan, and foxes. Do you ever think of them, among the tigers and the crocs? There are better flowers than there used to be, now that we have all become such a nice bright Green, and the cold spring still rises and flows down through the trees to feed the mere - the best water in Surrey, says Marjorie Gargery, passing paper cups of it around among her children. There's always someone standing in the pine trees where the spring rises, always some old tramp with purple lips. Often that queer little jogger dressed in black. You often see him about in that slinky track suit. He never looks at me but he knows that I am there. I sometimes think he might murder me. It would happen in fiction. The Roman soldiers at the spring would have made short work of him. I think of them, dipping their feet in the water, and their Naafi mugs. I think of them shivering and wishing for Umbria and the land of Piero delta Francesca, except he hadn't then been born.

Well now, this pure and ancient trickle, Joan, flows not so far away from a metalled narrow road marked 'Private' that leads to The Hospice. One mile and a half, and down it one day I come a Maying and find Mother Ambrosine at her books.

'Good afternoon, Eliza. You are looking very wild.'

'I walked. Maybe I took a bus part of the way. Then I walked. From the other side.'

'Through the woods? You walked all the way through the woods? My dear, you've walked miles. Miles.'

'I'm not an old woman, Mother Ambrosine.'

'But, my lamb, it is pouring with rain. It is raining like the Monsoon.'

Mother Ambrosine is solid and sure. Her face is smooth and brown. Her eyes are brown and bright and clear. She looks completed. It is a face familiar to me but never usual. It is a face with which you do not compete. There are lines about the eyes, across the brow one thread. More lines about the mouth. But no bags. No pouches. She travels without luggage. Her ears have never been pierced and her hair has never seen an electric drier or a scented shampoo. It's short and springy beneath a little cap that is the residual fin of what for centuries in her Order was a huge and yacht-like veil.

Stout shoes beneath the desk, support-tights, knees well apart beneath the dark serge skirt, and she is scratching under the residual fin with a leaky biro. Or was. She has stopped. As I approach the desk the biro is brought point down and begins to rap the blotting pad.

'. . . to the skin,' she is saying. 'At once to the Laundry. Take off those clothes.'

'I can't run naked through The Hospice.'

'We'll find you something. What shall we do with her, Nick?'

I see, for the first time, that the Curate is sitting in her office, Nick Fish the committee man, my high-Protestant priest. He and Mother A. have been sitting talking together, sitting quiet together, Anglican and Roman, talking and thinking. St Julian above their heads stares on and I examine my fingernails. They have begun to look unfamiliar lately.

I fear Mother A. and Nick Fish. This silence between them. This stillness holds within it the awaited grief. I have seen Mother A. of course many times at a death but a Hospice (Joan) is not what they sometimes make out - a brave, hearty place, though it's no bleak house of corpses either. It was to try to find out something about death that I came here in the first place, as I dare say by now you will have guessed. Only domestic work it may be, but there are few secrets in a kitchen. We've all wept in The Hospice, Joan. We're not always jealously thinking of heaven. Death, they tell you at funerals - which are hellish things, Joan, and I can't stand the people who pretend they're not - death is 'just like stepping into another room'. Yeah, who says? Who's been there? And which room Joan? How are we going to shape up to turning the door-handle to find out? I have seen Mother Ambrosine, the warrior Queen for God, distressed and shaken by death, and if it were not so there would be no strength.

And now, here's Fish the Committee in his scruffy cassock and woolly hat and gloves, working away at a rosary and making sure not to look at me. So my Lord and my God I am right and it is Barry. He is gone.

'Barry's been asking for you,' says Mother A., 'Quickly get dry and go and see him.'

'How is he?'

'Back in bed. Weak. Not so bad. Barry,' she says to Nick Fish, 'is still here. He is in love with Eliza.'

I say to Nick, 'He is twenty-two years old.'

Fish absorbs this information unsmiling, and twitches. He can't stand me. Upper class-rich-bitch-never-done-a-day's-work-in-her-life. But I watch him putting holy charity together as he lets go the rosary and gets to his feet. I see the dirty trainers and boyish draggly shoe-lace. I see the inside of his head - no NO. Please God, no. Don't let this happen. I will my soul, or whatever it is that forces on me these visitations, I will my eyes not to see the jelly within the bone and the bone's soft marrow and the cells that make our juices, cells so temporal that they flow away like the foam on the quay that was all that was left of the little mermaid in the tale. She faded downwards from the head. Off with her head. Blink. Swallow. Better.

Nick's taut face is back, and I see the expression on its surface and the effort he is making as a Christian priest dealing with poor dotty Eliza. But how can he ever give comfort if he can't conceal the clock-work, the cuckoo clockwork going on within his head?

Yet it's hard to trust a mask, and if you arouse hostile feelings maybe it's better to know it, even if they're in a priest. Cock-a-snook back, maybe? Cockasnook. His brain is saying (no don't look; look away): Eliza Peabody, oh my God, not her again. The mad woman. Needs a shrink. What's Mother Am doing, letting her in here?

'Hullo, Eliza. Nice to see you. Sorry I had to go the last time we met. We must have that talk some time.'

Title: The Moor's Last Sigh Author: Salman Rushdie Date: 1995 Publisher: Jonathan Cape B Moraes Zogoiby ("Moor") [first person narrator] C Flory Zogoiby G the boys at school J Solomon Castile K Abraham Zogoiby L M O U W X unknown
About my grandmother Flory Zogoiby, Epifania da Gama's opposite number, her equal in years although closer to me by a generation: a decade before the century's turn Fearless Flory would haunt the boys' school playground, teasing adolescent males with swishings of skirts and sing-song sneers, and with a twig would scratch challenges into the earth - step across this line. (Line-drawing comes down to me from both sides of the family.) She would taunt them with nonsensical, terrifying incantations, 'making like a witch': Obeah, jadoo, fo, fum, chicken entrails, kingdom come. Ju ju, voodoo, fee, fi, piddle cocktails, time to die. When the boys came at her she attacked them with a ferocity that easily overcame their theoretical advantages of strength and size. Her gifts of war came down to her from some unknown ancestor; and though her adversaries grabbed her hair and called her Jewess they never vanquished her. Sometimes she literally rubbed their noses in the dirt. On other occasions she stood back, scrawny arms folded in triumph across her chest, and allowed her stunned victims to back unsteadily away. 'Next time, pick on someone your own size,' Flory added insult to injury by inverting the meaning of the phrase: 'Us pint-size jewinas are too hot for you to handle.' Yes, she was rubbing it in, but even this attempt to make metaphors of her victories, to represent herself as the champion of the small, of the Minority, of girls, failed to make her popular. Fast Flory, Flory-the-Roary: she acquired a Reputation.

The time came when nobody would cross the lines she went on drawing, with fearsome precision, across the gullies and open spaces of her childhood years. She grew moody and inward and sat on behind her dust-lines, besieged within her own fortifications. By her eighteenth birthday she had stopped fighting, having learned something about winning battles and losing wars.

The point I'm leading up to is that Christians had in Flory's view stolen more from her than ancestral spice fields. What they took was even then getting to be in short supply, and for a girl with a Reputation the supply was even shorter . . . in her twenty-fourth year Solomon Castile the synagogue caretaker had stepped across Miss Flory's lines to ask for her hand in marriage. The act was generally thought to be one of great charity, or stupidity, or both. Even in those days the numbers of the community were decreasing. Maybe four thousand persons living in the Mattancherri Jewtown, and by the time you excluded family members and the very young and the very old and the crazy and infirm, the youngsters of marriageable age were not spoiled for choice of partners. Old bachelors fanned themselves by the clocktower and walked by the harbour's edge hand in hand; toothless spinsters sat in doorways sewing clothes for non-existent babies. Matrimony inspired as much spiteful envy as celebration, and Flory's marriage to the caretaker was attributed by gossip to the ugliness of both parties. 'As sin,' the sham tongues said. 'Pity the kids my God.'

(Old enough to be her father, Flory scolded Abraham; but Solomon Castile, born in the year of the Indian Uprising, had been twenty years her senior, poor man probably wanted to get married while he was still capable, the wagging tongues surmised . . . and there is one more fact about their wedding. It took place on the same day in 1900 as a much grander affair; no newspapers recorded the Castile-Zogoiby nuptials in their social-register columns, but there were many photographs of Mr Francisco da Gama and his smiling Mangalorean bride.)

The vengefulness of the spouseless was finally satisfied: because after seven years and seven days of explosive wedlock, during which Flory gave birth to one child, a boy who would perversely grow up to be the most handsome young man of his dwindling generation, caretaker Castile at nightfall on his fiftieth birthday walked over to the water's edge, hopped into a rowing-boat with half a dozen drunken Portuguese sailors, and ran away to sea. 'He should have known better'n to marry Roary Flory,' according to contented bachelor-spinster whispers, 'but wise man's brain don't come automatic along with wise man's name.' The broken marriage came to be known in Mattancherri as the Misjudgment of Solomon; but Flory blamed the Christian ships, the mercantile armada of the omnipotent west, for tempting her husband away in search of golden streets. And at the age of seven her son was obliged to give up his father's name; unlucky in fathers, he took his mother's unlucky Zogoiby for his own.

After Solomon's desertion, Flory took over as caretaker of blue ceramic tiles and Joseph Rabban's copper plates, claiming the post with a gleaming ferocity that silenced all rumbles of opposition to her appointment. Under her protection: not only little Abraham, but also the parchment Old Testament on whose ragged-edged leathery pages the Hebrew letters flowed, and the hollow golden crown presented (Christian Era 1805) by the Maharaja of Travancore. She instituted reforms. When the faithful came to worship she ordered them to remove their shoes. Objections were raised to this positively Moorish practice; Flory in response barked mirthless laughs.

'What devotion?' she snorted. 'Caretaking you want from me, better you take some care too. Boots off! Chop chop! Protectee Chinee tiles.'

No two are identical. The tiles from Canton, 12" X 12" approx., imported by Ezekiel Rabhi in the year 1100 CE, covered the floors, walls and ceiling of the little synagogue. Legends had begun to stick to them. Some said that if you explored for long enough you'd find your own story in one of the blue-and-white squares, because the pictures on the tiles could change, were changing, generation by generation, to tell the story of the Cochin Jews. Still others were convinced that the tiles were prophecies, the keys to whose meanings had been lost with the passing years.

Abraham as a boy crawled around the synagogue bum-in-air with his nose pressed against antique Chinese blue. He never told his mother that his father had reappeared in ceramic form on the synagogue floor a year after he decamped, in a little blue rowing-boat with blue-skinned foreign-looking types by his side, heading off towards an equally blue horizon. After this discovery, Abraham periodically received news of Solomon Castile through the good offices of the metamorphic tiles. He next saw his father in a cerulean scene of Dionysiac willow-pattern merrymaking amid slain dragons and grumbling volcanoes. Solomon was dancing in an open hexagonal pavilion with a carefree joy upon his blue-tile face which utterly transformed it from the dolorous countenance which Abraham remembered. If he is happy, the boy thought, then I'm glad he went. From his earliest days Abraham had instinctive knowledge of the paramountcy of happiness, and it was this same instinct which, years later, would allow the grown-up duty manager to seize the love offered with many blushes and sarcasms by Aurora da Gama in the chiaroscuro of the Ernakulam godown . . .

Over the years Abraham found his father wealthy and fat in one tile, seated upon cushions in the Position of Royal Ease and waited upon by eunuchs and dancing-girls; but only a few months later he was skinny and mendicant in another twelve-by-twelve scenario. Now Abraham understood that the former caretaker had left all restraints behind him, and was oscillating wildly through a life that had deliberately been allowed to go out of control. He was a Sindbad seeking his fortune in the oceanic happenstance of the earth. He was a heavenly body which had managed by an act of will to wrench itself free of its fixed orbit, and now wandered the galaxies accepting whatever destiny might provide. It seemed to Abraham that his father's breakaway from the gravity of the everyday had used up all his reserves of will-power, so that after that initial and radical act of transformation he was brokenruddered, at the mercy of the winds and tides.

As Abraham Zogoiby neared adolescence, Solomon Castile began to appear in semi-pornographic tableaux whose appropriateness for a synagogue would have been the subject of much controversy had they come to anyone else's notice but Abraham's. These tiles cropped up in the dustiest and murkiest recesses of the building and Abraham preserved them by allowing mould to form and cobwebs to gather over their more reprehensible zones, in which his father disported himself with startling numbers of individuals of both sexes in a fashion which his wide-eyed son could only think of as educational. And yet in spite of the salacious gymnastics of these activities the ageing wanderer had regained his old lugubriousness of mien, so that, perhaps, all his journeys had done no more than wash him up at the last on the same shores of discontent whence he had first set forth. On the day Abraham Zogoiby's voice broke he was gripped by the notion that his father was about to return. He raced through the alleys of the Jewish quarter down to the waterfront where cantilevered Chinese fishing nets were spread out against the sky; but the fish he sought did not leap out of the waves. When he returned in despondency to the synagogue all the tiles depicting his father's odyssey had changed, and showed scenes both anonymous and banal. Abraham in a feverish rage spent hours crawling across the floor in search of magic. To no avail: for the second time in his life his unwise father Solomon Castile had vanished into the blue.

I no longer remember when I first heard the family story which provided me with my nickname and my mother with the theme of her most famous series of paintings, the 'Moor sequence' that reached its triumphant culmination in the unfinished, and subsequently stolen masterpiece, The Moor's Last Sigh. I seem to have known it all my life, this lurid saga from which, I should add, Mr Vasco Miranda derived an early work of his own; but in spite of long familiarity I have grave doubts about the literal truth of the story, with its somewhat overwrought Bombay-talkie masala narrative, its almost desperate reaching back for a kind of authentification, for evidence. . . I believe, and others have since confirmed, that simpler explanations can be offered for the transaction between Abraham Zogoiby and his mother, most particularly for what he did or did not find in an old trunk underneath the altar; I will offer one such alternative version by and by. For the moment, I present the approved, and polished, family yarn; which, being so profound a part of my parents' pictures of themselves - and so significant a part of contemporary Indian art history - has, for those reasons if no other, a power and importance I will not attempt to deny.

We have reached a key moment in the tale. Let us return briefly to young Abraham on hands and knees, frantically searching the synagogue for the father who had just abandoned him again, calling out to him in a cracked voice swooping from bulbul to crow; until at length, overcoming an unspoken taboo, he ventured for the first time in his life behind & beneath the pale blue drape with golden hem that graced the high altar . . . Solomon Castile wasn't there; the teenager's flashlight fell, instead, upon an old box marked with a Z and fastened with a cheap padlock, which was soon picked; for schoolboys have skills which adults forget as surely as lessons learned by rote. And so, despairing of his absconded father, he found his mother's secrets out instead.

What was in the box? - Why, the only treasure of any value: viz., the past, and the future. Also, however, emeralds.

And so to the day of crisis, when the adult Abraham Zogoiby charged into the synagogue - I'll show her Fitz, he cried - and dragged the trunk out from its hiding-place. His mother, pursuing him, saw her secrets coming out into the open and felt her legs give way. She sat down on blue tiles with a thump, while Abraham opened the box and drew out a silver dagger, which he stuck in his trouser-belt; then, breathing in short gasps, Flory watched him remove, and place upon his head, an ancient, tattered crown.

Not the nineteenth-century circlet of gold donated by Maharaja Travancore, but something altogether more ancient was the way I heard it. A dark green turban wound in cloth rendered illusory by age, so delicate that even the orange evening light filtering into the synagogue seemed too fierce; so provisional that it might almost have disintegrated beneath Flora Zogoiby's burning gaze...

Title: Empire of the Sun Author: J. G. Ballard Date: 1984 Publisher: Panther B Jim C guards patroling the perimeter G "the Japanese soldiers" J Private Kimura K Basie L Dr Ransome M "The soldier beside Private Kimura" O "the older British families in the camp" R "too many of the British prisoners" U Mrs Pearce W "most of the prisoners" X unknown Y all of the prisoners Z one of the boys
20 Lunghua Camp Voices fretted along the murmuring wire, carried like stressed notes on the strings of a harp. Fifty feet from the perimeter fence, Jim lay in the deep grass beside the pheasant trap. He listened to the guards arguing with each other as they conducted their hourly patrol of the camp. Now that the American air attacks had become a daily event, the Japanese soldiers no longer slung their rifles over their shoulders. They clasped the long-barrelled weapons in both hands, and were so nervous that if they saw Jim outside the camp perimeter they would shoot at him without thinking.

Jim watched them through the netting of the pheasant trap. Only the previous day they had shot a Chinese coolie trying to steal into the camp. He recognised one of the guards as Private Kimura, a large-boned farmer's son who had grown almost as much as Jim in his years at the camp. The private's strong back had burst through his faded tunic, and only his ammunition webbing held the tattered garment together.

Before the war finally turned against the Japanese, Private Kimura often invited Jim to the bungalow he shared with three other guards and allowed him to wear his kendo armour. Jim could remember the elaborate ceremony as the Japanese soldiers dressed him in the metal and leather armour, and the ripe smell of Private Kimura's body that filled the helmet and shoulder guards. He remembered the burst of violence as Private Kimura attacked him with the two-handed sword, the whirlwind of blows that struck his helmet before he could fight back. His head had rung for days. Giving him his orders, Basie had been forced to shout until he woke the men's dormitory in E Block, and Dr Ransome had called Jim into the camp hospital and examined his ears.

Remembering those powerful arms, and the quickness of Private Kimura's eyes, Jim lay flat in the long grass behind the trap. For once he was glad that the trap had failed to net a bird. The two Japanese had stopped by the wire fence and were scanning the group of abandoned buildings that lay outside the north-west perimeter of Lunghua Camp. Beside them, just within the camp, was the derelict hulk of the assembly hall, the curved balcony of its upper circle open to the sky. The camp occupied the site of a teacher training college that had been bombed and overrun during the fighting around Lunghua Aerodrome in 1937. The damaged buildings nearest to the airfield had been excluded from the camp, and it was here, in the long grass quadrangles between the gutted residence halls, that Jim set his pheasant traps. After roll-call that morning he had slipped through the fence where it emerged from a bank of nettles surrounding a forgotten blockhouse on the airfield perimeter. Leaving his shoes on the blockhouse steps, he waded along a shallow canal, and then crawled through the deep grass between the ruined buildings.

The first of the traps was only a few feet from the perimeter fence, a distance that had seemed enormous to Jim when he first crept through the barbed wire. He had looked back at the secure world of the camp, at the barrack huts and water tower, at the guardhouse and dormitory blocks, almost afraid that he had been banished from them forever. Dr Ransome often called Jim a 'free spirit', as he roved across the camp, hunting down some new idea in his head. But here, in the deep grass between the ruined buildings, he felt weighed by an unfamiliar gravity.

For once making the most of this inertia, Jim lay behind the trap. An aircraft was taking off from Lunghua Airfield, clearly silhouetted against the yellow facades of the apart- ment houses in the French Concession, but he ignored the plane. The soldier beside Private Kimura shouted to the children playing in the balcony of the assembly hall. Kimura was walking back to the wire. He scanned the surface of the canal and the clumps of wild sugar cane. The poor rations of the past year - the Japanese guards were almost as badly fed as their British and American prisoners - had drawn the last of the adolescent fat from Kimura's arms. After a recent attack of tuberculosis his strong face was puffy and coolie-like. Dr Ransome had repeatedly warned Jim never to wear Private Kimura's kendo armour. A fight between them would be less one-sided now, even though Jim was only fourteen. But for the rifle, he would have liked to challenge Kimura .

As if aware of the threat within the grass, Private Kimura called to his companion. He leaned his rifle against the pine fencing-post, stepped through the wire and stood in the deep nettles. Flies rose from the shallow canal and settled on his lips, but Kimura ignored them and stared at the strip of water that separated him from Jim and the pheasant traps.

Could he see Jim's footprints in the soft mud? Jim crawled away from the trap but the clear outline of his body lay in the crushed grass. Kimura was rolling his tattered sleeves, ready to wrestle with his quarry. Jim watched him stride through the nettles. He was certain that he could outrun Kimura, but not the bullet in the second soldier's rifle. How could he explain to Kimura that the pheasant traps had been Basie's idea? It was Basie who had insisted on the elaborate camouflage of leaves and twigs, and who made him climb through the wire twice a day, even though they had never seen a bird, let alone caught one. It was important to keep in with Basie, who had small but reliable sources of food. He could tell Kimura that Basie knew about the secret camp radio, but then the extra food would cease.

What most worried Jim was the thought that, if Kimura struck him, he would fight back. Few boys of his own age dared to touch Jim, and in the last year, since the rations had failed, few men. However, if he fought back against Kimura he would be dead.

He calmed himself, calculating the best moment to stand up and surrender. He would bow to Kimura, show no emotion and hope that the hundreds of hours he had spent hanging around the guardhouse - albeit at Basie's instigation - would count in his favour. He had once given English lessons to Kimura, but although they were clearly losing the war the Japanese had not been interested in learning English.

Jim waited for Kimura to climb the bank towards him. The soldier stood in the centre of the canal, a bright black object gleaming in his hand. The creeks, ponds and disused wells within Lunghua Camp held an armoury of rusting weapons and unstable ammunition abandoned during the 1937 hostilities. Jim peered through the grass at the pointed cylinder, assuming that the tidal water in the canal had uncovered an old artillery shell or mortar bomb.

Kimura shouted to the second soldier waiting by the barbed wire. He brushed the flies from his face and spoke to the object, as if murmuring to a baby. He raised it behind his head, in the position taken by the Japanese soldiers throwing a grenade. Jim waited for the explosion, and then realized that Private Kimura was holding a large fresh-water turtle. The creature's head emerged from its carapace, and Kimura began to laugh excitedly. His tubercular face resembled a small boy's, reminding Jim that Private Kimura had once been a child, as he himself had been before the war.

After crossing the parade ground, the Japanese soldiers disappeared among the lines of ragged washing between the barrack huts. Jim emerged from the damp cavern of the blockhouse. Wearing the leather golfing shoes given to him by Dr Ransome, he climbed through the wire. In his hand he carried Kimura's turtle. The ancient creature contained at least a pound of meat, and Basie, almost certainly, would know a special recipe for turtle. Jim could imagine Basie tempting it out of its shell with a live caterpillar, then skewering its head with his jack-knife...

In front of Jim was Lunghua Camp, his home and universe for the past three years, and the suffocating prison of nearly two thousand Allied nationals. The shabby barrack huts, the cement dormitory blocks, the worn parade ground and the guardhouse with its leaning watch-tower lay together under the June sun, a rendezvous for every fly and mosquito in the Yangtze basin. But once he stepped through the wire fence Jim felt the air steady around hirn. He ran along the cinder path, his tattered shirt flying from his bony shoulders like the tags of washing between the huts.

In his ceaseless journeys around the camp Jim had learned to recognise every stone and weed. A sun-bleached sign, crudely painted with the words 'Regent Street', was nailed to a bamboo pole beside the pathway. Jim ignored it, as he did the similar signs enscribed 'Piccadilly', 'Knightsbridge' and 'Petticoat Lane' which marked the main pathways within the camp. These relics of an imaginary London - which many of the Shanghai-born British prisoners had never seen - intrigued Jim but in some way annoyed him. With their constant talk about pre-war London, the older British families in the camp claimed a special exclusiveness. He remembered a line from one of the poems that Dr Ransome had made him memorize - 'a foreign field that is for ever England . . .' But this was Lunghua, not England. Naming the sewage-stained paths between the rotting huts after a vaguely remembered London allowed too many of the British prisoners to shut out the reality of the camp, another excuse to sit back when they should have been helping Dr Ransome to clear the septic tanks. To their credit, in Jim's eyes, neither the Americans nor the Dutch and Belgians in the camp wasted their time on nostalgia. The years in Lunghua had not given Jim a high opinion of the British.

And yet the London street signs fascinated him, part of the magic of names that he had discovered in the camp. What, conceivably, were Lord's, the Serpentine, and the Trocadero? There were so few books or magazines that an unfamiliar brand-name had all the mystery of a message from the stars. According to Basie, who was always right, the American fighters with the ventral radiators that strafed Lunghua Airfield were called 'Mustangs', the name of a wild pony. Jim relished the name; to know that the planes were Mustangs was more important to him than the confirmation that Basie had his ear to the camp's secret radio. He hungered for names.

Jim stumbled on the worn path, unable to control the golf shoes. Too often these days he became light-headed. Dr Ransome had warned him not to run, but the American air attacks and the imminent prospect of the war's end made him too impatient to walk. Trying to protect the turtle, he grazed his left knee. He limped across the cinder track and sat on the steps of the derelict drinking-water station. Here brackish water taken from the ponds in the camp had once been boiled by the prisoners. There was still a small supply of coal in the camp store-rooms, but the work gang of six Britons who stoked the fires had lost interest. Although Dr Ransome remonstrated with them, they preferred to suffer from chronic dysentery rather than make the effort of boiling the water.

While Jim nursed his knee the members of the gang sat outside the nearby barrack hut, watching the sky as if they expected the war to end within the next ten minutes. Jim recognised Mr Mulvaney, an accountant with the Shanghai Power Company who had often swum in the pool at Amherst Avenue. Beside him was the Reverend Pearce, a Methodist missionary whose Japanese-speaking wife openly collaborated with the guards, reporting to them each day on the prisoners' activites.

No one criticised Mrs Pearce for this, and in fact most of the prisoners in Lunghua were only too keen to collaborate. Jim vaguely disapproved, but agreed that it was probably sensible to do anything to survive. After three years in the camp the notion of patriotism meant nothing. The bravest prisoners - and collaboration was a risky matter - were those who bought their way into the favour of the Japanese and thereby helped their fellows with small supplies of food and bandages. Besides, there were few illicit activities to betray. No one in Lunghua would dream of trying to escape, and everyone rightly ratted on any fool about to step through the wire, for fear of the reprisals to come.

The water-workers scraped their clogs on the steps and stared into the sun, moving only to pick the ticks from between their ribs. Although emaciated, the process of starvation had somehow stopped a skin's depth from the skeleton below. Jim envied Mr Mulvaney and the Reverend Pearce - he himself was still growing. The arithmetic that Dr Ransome had taught him made it all too clear that the food supplied to the camp was shrinking at a faster rate than that at which the prisoners were dying.

In the centre of the parade ground a group of twelve-year-old boys were playing marbles on the baked earth. Seeing the turtle, they ran towards Jim. Each of them controlled a dragonfly tied to a length of cotton. The blue flames flicked to and fro above their heads.

'Jim! Can we touch it?'

'What is it?'

'Did Private Kimura give it to you?'

Jim smiled benignly. 'It's a bomb.' He held out the turtle and generously allowed everyone to inspect it. Despite the gap in years, several of the boys had been close friends in the days after his arrival in Lunghua, when he had needed every ally he could find. But he had outgrown them and made other friends - Dr Ransome, Basie and the American seamen in E Block, with their ancient pre-war copies of the Reader's Digest and Popular Mechanics that he devoured. Now and then, as if recapturing his lost childhood, Jim reentered the world of boyish games and would play tops and marbles and hopscotch.

'Is it dead? It's moving!'

'It's bleeding!'

A smear of blood from Jim's knee gave the turtle's head a piratical flourish.

'Jim, you killed it!'

The largest of the boys, Richard Pearce, reached out to touch the reptile, but Jim tucked it under his arm. He disliked and slightly feared Richard Pearce, who was almost as big as himself. He envied Richard the extra Japanese rations which his mother fed to him. As well as the food, the Pearces had a small library of confiscated books which they guarded jealously.

'It's a blood bond,' Jim explained grandly. By rights turtles belonged to the sea, to the open river visible a mile to the west of the camp, that broad tributary of the Yangtze down which he had once dreamed of sailing with his parents to the safety of a world without war.

'Watch out . . .' He waved Richard aside. 'I've trained it to attack!'

The boys backed away from him. There were times when Jim's humour made them uneasy. Although he tried to stop himself, Jim resented their clothes - hand-me-downs stitched together by their mothers, but far superior to his own rags. More than this, he resented that they had mothers and fathers at all. During the past year Jim had gradually realized that he could no longer remember what his parents looked like. Their veiled figures still entered his dreams, but he had forgotten their faces.

Date: 1989 Title: A History of the World in 10½ Chapters Author: Julian Barnes B Amanda Fergusson C Miss Logan G British Ambassador in Constantinople J a dragoman K a landlord L God M a large and bearded Kurd O an angel U Amanda Fergusson's father W "people like my father" X unknown Z Armenian priest X unknown

It was in the autumn of 1839, after long meditation, that Amanda Fergusson proposed to Miss Logan the expedition to Arghuri. Miss Logan was a vigorous and seemingly practical woman some ten years older than Miss Fergusson, and had been fond of the Colonel without any zephyr of indiscretion arising. More to the point, she had travelled to Italy a few years previously while in the employment of Sir Charles B.

&bquo;I regret that I am unacquainted with the place,&equo; replied Miss Logan when first interviewed. &bquo;Is it far beyond Naples?&equo;

&bquo;It is on the lower slopes of Mount Ararat,&equo; Miss Fergusson responded. &bquo;The name Arghuri is derived from two Armenian words signifying he planted the vine. It is where Noah returned to his agricultural labours after the Flood. An ancient vine stock planted by the Patriarch's own hands still flourishes.&equo;

Miss Logan concealed her astonishment at this curious lecture, but felt bound to enquire further. &bquo;And why might we be going there?&equo;

&bquo;To intercede for the soul of my father. There is a monastery upon the mountain.&equo;

&bquo;It is a long way to go.&equo;

&bquo;I believe it to be appropriate.&equo;

&bquo;I see.&equo; Miss Logan was pensive at first, but then brightened. &bquo;And shall we drink the wine there?&equo; She was remembering her travels in Italy.

&bquo;It is forbidden,&equo; replied Miss Fergusson. &bquo;Tradition forbids it.&equo;

&bquo;Tradition?&equo;

&bquo;Heaven, then. Heaven has forbidden it, in memory of the fault into which the grapes betrayed the Patriarch.&equo; Miss Logan, who would complaisantly allow the Bible to be read to her but was not diligent in turning the pages herself, exhibited a momentary confusion. &bquo;Drunkenness,&equo; explained Miss Fergusson. &bquo;Noah's drunkenness.&equo;

&bquo;Of course.&equo;

&bquo;The monks of Arghuri are permitted to eat the grapes, but not to ferment them.&equo;

&bquo;I see.&equo;

&bquo;There is also an ancient willow tree, sprung from one of the planks of Noah's Ark, which grows there.&equo;

&bquo;I see.&quo;

And thus it was agreed. They would depart in the spring, to avoid the malarial menace of the later seasons. Each would require a portable bedstead, an air mattress and a pillow; they would take some Oxley's essence of ginger, some good opium, quinine and Seidlitz powders; a portable inkstand, a match-box and supply of German tinder; umbrellas against the sun and flannel belts to ward off cramps of the stomach during the night. After some discussion they decided not to travel with either a portable bath or a patent coffee-machine. But they counted as necessary a pair of iron-pointed walking sticks, a clasp-knife, stout hunting-whips to beat off the legions of dogs they were prepared to encounter, and a policeman's small lantern, since they had been warned that Turkish paper lanterns were useless in a hurricane. They took mackintoshes and heavy greatcoats, anticipating that Lady Mary Wortley Montagu's dream of perennial sunshine was unlikely to be fulfilled for lesser voyagers. Miss Logan understood gunpowder to be the most acceptable offering for the Turkish peasant, and writing-paper for the superior classes. A common box-compass, she had further been advised, would afford pleasure by directing the Mussulman to the point of his prayers; but Miss Fergusson was disinclined to assist the heathen in his false adorations. Finally, the ladies packed two small glass bottles, which they intended to fill with grape juice crushed from the fruit of Noah's vineyard.

They travelled by Government steam-packet from Falmouth to Marseilles, thereafter entrusting themselves to the French conveyances. In early May they were received by the British Ambassador in Constantinople. As Miss Fergusson explained the extent and purpose of their journey, the diplomat studied her: a dark-haired woman in early middle age, with protuberant black eyes and rather full, reddish cheeks which pushed her lips forward into a pout. Yet she was in no wise a flirt: her natural expression appeared to mix prudishness with certainty, a combination which left the Ambassador indifferent. He grasped most of what she was saying without ever quite bestowing upon her his full attention.

&bquo;Ah,&equo; he said at the finish, &bquo;there was a rumour a few years ago that some Russo had managed to get to the top of the mountain.&equo;

&bquo;Parrot,&equo; replied Miss Fergusson without a smile. &bquo;Not a Russo, I think. Dr Friedrich Parrot. Professor in the University of Dorpat.&equo;

The Ambassador gave a diagonal nod of the head, as if it were slightly impertinent to know more than he did about local matters.

&bquo;It seems to me appropriate and just,&equo; went on Miss Fergusson, &bquo;that the first traveller to ascend the mountain upon which the Ark rested should bear the name of an animal. No doubt part of the Lord's great design for us all.&equo;

&bquo;No doubt,&equo; replied the Ambassador, looking away to Miss Logan for some clue as to the personality of her employer. &bquo;No doubt.&equo;

They remained a week in the Ottoman capital, by no means long enough for Miss Logan to become accustomed to the coarse stares she received at the table d'hôte. Then the two ladies gave themselves up to the Favaid-i-Osmaniyeh, a Turkish company running steamers to Trebizond. The accommodation was crowded and to Miss Logan's mind far filthier than anything she had previously encountered. She ventured upon deck the first morning, and was approached by not one but three potential beaux, each with his hair curled and exuding a powerful odour of bergamot. Thereafter Miss Logan, despite having been engaged for her experience, confined herself to the cabin. Miss Fergusson professed not to notice such inconveniences and to be positively intrigued by the scrum of third-class passengers on board; she would occasionally return with an observation or a question designed to stir Miss Logan from her dismal state of mind. Why, her employer wished to know, were the Turkish women all accommodated on the left-hand side of the quarter-deck? Was there some purpose, be it of society or of religion, behind such positioning? Miss Logan was unable to furnish a reply. Now that they had left Naples way behind them she felt increasingly less secure. At the faintest whiff of bergamot she shuddered.

When Miss Logan had permitted herself to become engaged for the voyage to Asiatic Turkey, she had under-estimated Miss Fergusson's pertinacity. The absconding muleteer, the swindling innkeeper and the devious customs-house officer were all treated to the same display of unthwartable will. Miss Logan lost count of the times their luggage was detained, or they were told that a buyurulda or special permit would be necessary in addition to the tezkare they had already procured; but Miss Fergusson, with assistance from a dragoman whose own brief display of independent thought had been snuffed out early on, harried, demanded and succeeded. She was tirelessly willing to discuss things in the manner of the country; to sit down with a landlord, for example, and answer such questions as whether England was smaller than London, and which of the two belonged to France, and how much larger the Turkish navy was than those of England, France and Russia put together.

Miss Logan had further imagined that their journey, while devotional in its final purpose, might afford pleasant opportunities for sketching, the activity which had first established a bond between employer and companion. But antiquities held no charm for Amanda Fergusson; she had no desire to examine heathen temples to Augustus, or half-surviving columns supposedly erected in honour of the apostate Emperor Julian. At least she evinced an interest in the natural landscape. As they rode inland from Trebizond, hunting-whips at the ready against the expected dog-packs, they viewed mohair goats on hillsides of dwarf oak, dull yellow vines, lush apple orchards; they heard grasshoppers whose ringing note seemed sharper and more insistent than that of their British cousins; and they witnessed sunsets of the rarest purple and rose. There were fields of corn, opium and cotton; bursts of rhododendron and yellow azalea; red-legged partridge, hoopoes and blue crows. In the Zirgana mountains large red deer softly returned their gaze from an apprehensive distance.

At Erzerum Miss Logan prevailed upon her employer to visit the Christian church. The impulse proved at first a happy one, for in the graveyard Miss Fergusson discovered tombstones and crosses whose Celtic air recalled those of her native Ireland; a smile of approval crossed her dutiful features. But this unexpected lenity was short-lived. Leaving the church, the two ladies noticed a young peasant woman placing a votive offering in a crevice by the main door. It proved to be a human tooth, no doubt her own. The crevice, upon further examination, was found to be stuffed full of yellowing incisors and weathered molars. Miss Fergusson expressed herself forcibly on the subject of popular superstition and the responsibility of the clergy. Those who preached the word of God, she maintained, should be judged according to the word of God, and punished the more severely if found wanting.

They crossed into Russia, engaging at the frontier post a new guide, a large and bearded Kurd who claimed familiarity with the requirements of foreigners. Miss Fergusson addressed him in what seemed to Miss Logan a mixture of Russo and Turk. The days when Miss Logan's fluent Italian had been of use to them were long past; having begun the journey as guide and interpreter, she felt she had dwindled into a mere hanger-on, with little greater status than the discarded dragoman or the newly-appointed Kurd.

As the three of them proceeded into Caucasia, they disturbed flocks of pelican, whose earthbound ungainliness was miraculously transfigured by flight. Miss Fergusson's irritation over the incident in Erzerum began to calm. Passing the eastern spur of Mount Alageuz, they gazed intently as the broad bulk of Great Ararat slowly revealed itself. The summit was hidden, enfolded in a circle of white cloud which glittered brilliantly in the sun.

&bquo;It has a halo,&equo; exclaimed Miss Logan. &bquo;Like an angel.&equo;

&bquo;You are correct,&equo; Miss Fergusson replied, with a little nod. &bquo;People like my father would not agree, of course. They would tell us that such comparisons are all hot air. Literally.&equo; She gave a pursed smile and Miss Logan, with an enquiring glance, invited her to continue. &bquo;They would explain that the halo of cloud is a perfectly natural phenomenon. During the night and for several hours after dawn the summit remains clearly visible, but as the plain warms up in the morning sun, the hot air rises and becomes vapour at a given height. At the day's end, when everything cools down again, the halo disappears. It comes as no surprise to … science,&equo; she said with a disapproving emphasis upon the final word.

&bquo;It is a magic mountain,&equo; commented Miss Logan.

Her employer corrected her. &bquo;It is a holy mountain.&equo; She gave an impatient sigh. &bquo;There always appear to be two explanations of everything. That is why we have been given free will, in order that we may choose the correct one. My father failed to comprehend that his explanations were based as much upon faith as mine. Faith in nothing. It would be all vapour and clouds and rising air to him. But who created the vapour, who created the clouds? Who ensured that Noah's mountain of all mountains would be blessed each day with a halo of cloud?&equo;

&bquo;Exactly,&equo; said Miss Logan, not entirely in agreement.

That day they encountered an Armenian priest who informed them that the mountain towards which they were heading had never been ascended and, moreover, never would be. When Miss Fergusson politely suggested the name of Dr Parrot, the priest assured her that she was mistaken. Perhaps she was confusing Massis — as he referred to Great Ararat — with the volcano far to the south which the Turks called Sippan Dagh. The Ark of Noah, before it found its final resting-place, had struck the summit of Sippan Dagh and removed its cap, thereby exposing the inner fires of the earth. That mountain, he understood, was accessible to man, but not Massis. On this subject, if on nothing else, Christian and Mussulman agreed. And furthermore, went on the priest, was it not so proven by Holy Scripture? The mountain before them was the birthplace of mankind; and he referred the ladies, while excusing himself with an ingratiating laugh for mentioning an indelicate subject, to the authority of Our Saviour's words to Nicodemus, where it is stated that a man cannot enter a second time into his mother's womb and be born once more.

As they were parting, the priest drew from his pocket a small black amulet, worn smooth over many centuries. It was, he claimed, a piece of bitumen which assuredly had once formed part of the hull of Noah's Ark, and had great value in the averting of mischief. Since the ladies had expressed such interest in the mountain of Massis, then perhaps …

Miss Fergusson courteously responded to the suggested transaction by pointing out that if indeed it was impossible to ascend the mountain, then the likelihood of their believing that the amulet could be a piece of bitumen from the Patriarch's vessel was not very great. The Armenian, however, saw no incompatibility between his two propositions. Perhaps a bird had carried it down, as the dove had borne the olive branch. Or it might have been brought by an angel. Did not tradition relate how Saint James had three times attempted to ascend Massis, and on the third occasion been told by an angel that it was forbidden, but that the angel had given him a plank of wood from the Ark, and there where he had received it was founded the monastery of Saint James?

They parted without a bargain being struck. Miss Logan, embarrassed by Our Lord's words to Nicodemus, was instead thinking about bitumen: was that not the material used by artists to blacken the shadows in their paintings? Miss Fergusson, on the other hand, had merely been put into a temper: first by the attempt to thrust some foolish meaning on to the scriptural verse; and secondly by the priest's brazen commercial behaviour. She had yet to be impressed by the Eastern clergy, who not only countenanced belief in the miraculous powers of human teeth, but actually traded in bogus religious relics. It was monstrous. They should be punished for it. No doubt they would be. Miss Logan examined her employer apprehensively.

Date: (Not given) Title: POSSESSION: A Romance Author: A. S. Byatt B Randolph Henry Ash C Roland Mitchell G James Blackadder J Val K Roland's mother L the examiners M Mortimer Cropper O character in Graves poem
CHAPTER TWO

A man is the history of his breaths and thoughts, acts, atoms and wounds, love, indifference and dislike; also of his race and nation, the soil that fed him and his forebears, the stones and sands of his familiar places, long-silenced battles and struggles of conscience, of the smiles of girls and the slow utterance of old women, of accidents and the gradual action of inexorable law, of all this and something else too, a single flame which in every way obeys the laws that pertain to Fire itself, and yet is lit and put out from one moment to the next, and can never be relumed in the whole waste of time to come.

So Randolph Henry Ash, ca 1840, when he was writing Ragnarök , a poem in twelve books, which some saw as a Christianising of the Norse myth and some trounced as atheistic and diabolically despairing. It mattered to Randolph Ash what a man was, though he could, without undue disturbance, have written that general pantechnicon of a sentence using other terms, phrases and rhythms and have come in the end to the same satisfactory evasive metaphor. Or so Roland thought, trained in the post-structuralist deconstruction of the subject. If he had been asked what Roland Michell was, he would have had to give a very different answer.

In 1986 he was twenty-nine, a graduate of Prince Albert College, London (1978) and a PhD of the same university (1985). His doctoral dissertation was entitled History, Historians and Poetry? A Study of the Presentation of Historical &bquo;Evidence&equo; in the Poems of Randolph Henry Ash . He had written it under the supervision of James Blackadder, which had been a discouraging experience. Blackadder was discouraged and liked to discourage others. (He was also a stringent scholar.) Roland was now employed, part-time, in what was known as Blackadder's &bquo;Ash Factory&equo; (why not Ashram?, Val had said) which operated from the British Museum, to which Ash's wife, Ellen, had given many of the manuscripts of his poems, when he died. The Ash Factory was funded by a small grant from London University and a much larger one from the Newsome Foundation in Albuquerque, a charitable Trust of which Mortimer Cropper was a Trustee. This might appear to indicate that Blackadder and Cropper worked harmoniously together on behalf of Ash. This would be a misconception. Blackadder believed Cropper to have designs on those manuscripts lodged with, but not owned by, the British Library, and to be worming his way into the confidence and goodwill of the owners by displays of munificence and helpfulness. Blackadder, a Scot, believed British writings should stay in Britain and be studied by the British. It may seem odd to begin a description of Roland Michell with an excursus into the complicated relations of Blackadder, Cropper and Ash, but it was in these terms that Roland most frequently thought of himself. When he did not think in terms of Val. He thought of himself as a latecomer. He had arrived too late for things that were still in the air but vanished, the whole ferment and brightness and journeyings and youth of the 1960s, the blissful dawn of what he and his contemporaries saw as a pretty blank day. Through the psychedelic years he was a schoolboy in a depressed Lancashire cotton town, untouched alike by Liverpool noise and London turmoil. His father was a minor official in the County Council. His mother was a disappointed English graduate. He thought of himself as though he were an application form, for a job, a degree, a life, but when he thought of his mother, the adjective would not be expurgated, She was disappointed. In herself, in his father, in him. The wrath of her disappointment had been the instrument of his education, which had taken place in a perpetual rush from site to site of a hastily amalgamated three-school comprehensive, the Aneurin Bevan school, combining Glasdale Old Grammar School, St Thomas à Beckett's C of E Secondary School and the Clothiers' Guild Technical Modern School. His mother had drunk too much stout, &bquo;gone up the school&equo;, and had him transferred from metal work to Latin, from Civic Studies to French; she had paid a maths coach with the earnings of a paper-round she had sent him out on. And so he had acquired an old-fashioned classical education, with gaps where teachers had been made redundant or classroom chaos had reigned. He had done what was hoped of him, always, had four A's at A Level, a First, a PhD. He was now essentially unemployed, scraping a living on part-time tutoring, dogsbodying for Blackadder and some restaurant dishwashing. In the expansive 1960s he would have advanced rapidly and involuntarily, but now he saw himself as a failure and felt vaguely responsible for this.

He was a small man, with very soft, startling black hair and small regular features. Val called him Mole, which he disliked. He had never told her so.

He lived with Val, whom he had met at a Freshers' tea party in the Student Union when he was eighteen. He believed now, though this belief may have been a mythic smoothing of his memory, that Val was the first person his undergraduate self had spoken to, socially that was, not officially. He had liked the look of her, he remembered, a soft, brown uncertain look. She had been standing on her own, holding a teacup in front of her, not looking about her, but rather fixedly out of the window, as though she expected no one to approach and invited no one. She projected a sort of calm, a lack of strife, and so he went over to join her. And since then they had never not been together. They signed up for the same courses and joined the same societies; they sat together in seminars and went together to the National Film Theatre; they had sex together and moved together into a one-roomed flat in their second year. They lived frugally off a diet of porridge and lentils and beans and yogurt; they drank a little beer, making it spin out; they shared book-buying; they were both entirely confined to their grants, which did not go far in London, and could not be supplemented with holiday earnings, for these had vanished with the oil crisis. Val had been, Roland was sure, partly responsible for his First. (Along with his mother and Randolph Henry Ash.) She simply expected it of him, she made him always say what he thought, she argued points, she worried constantly about whether she was, whether they both were, working hard enough. They quarrelled hardly at all and when they did it was almost always because Roland expressed concern about Val's reserve with the world in general, her refusal to advance opinions in class, and later, even to him. In the early days she had had lots of quiet opinions, he remembered, which she had offered him, shyly slyly, couched as a kind of invitation or bait. There had been poems she had liked. Once she had sat up naked in his dark digs and recited Robert Graves: She tells her love while half asleep, In the dark hours, With half-words whispered low: As Earth stirs in her winter sleep And puts out grass and flowers Despite the snow, Despite the falling snow.

She had a rough voice gentled, between London and Liverpool, as the group voice was. When Roland began to speak, after this, she put a hand over his mouth, which was as well, for he had nothing to say. Later, Roland noticed, as he himself had his successes, Val said less and less, and when she argued, offered him increasingly his own ideas, sometimes the reverse side of the knitting, but essentially his. She even wrote her Required Essay on &bquo;Male Ventriloquism: The Women of Randolph Henry Ash&equo;. Roland did want this. When he suggested that she should strike out on her own, make herself noticed, speak up, she accused him of &bquo;taunting&equo; her. When he asked, what did she mean, &bquo;taunting&equo;, she resorted, as she always did when they argued, to silence. Since silence was also Roland's only form of aggression they would continue in this way for days, or, one terrible time when Roland directly criticised &bquo;Male Ventriloquism&equo;, for weeks. And then the fraught silence would modulate into conciliatory monosyllable, and back to their peaceful co-existence. When Finals came, Roland did steadily and predictably well. Val's papers were bland and minimal, in large confident handwriting, well laid-out. &bquo;Male Ventriloquism&equo; was judged to be good work and discounted by the examiners as probably largely by Roland, which was doubly unjust, since he had refused to look at it, and did not agree with its central proposition, which was that Randolph Henry Ash neither liked nor understood women, that his female speakers were constructs of his own fear and aggression, that even the poem-cycle, Ask to Embla, was the work, not of love but of narcissism, the poet addressing his Anima. (No biographical critic had ever satisfactorily identified Embla.) Val did very badly. Roland had supposed she had expected this, but it became dreadfully obvious that she had not. There were tears, night-long, choked, whimpering tears, and the first tantrum.

Val left him for the first time since they had set up house, and went briefly &bquo;home&equo;. Home was Croydon, where she lived with her divorced mother in a council flat, supported by social security, supplemented occasionally by haphazard maintenance payments from her father, who was in the Merchant Navy and had not been seen since Val was five. Val had never, during their time together, proposed to Roland that they visit her mother, though Roland had twice taken her to Glasdale, where she had helped his father wash up, and had taken his mother's jeering deflation of their way of life in her stride, telling him, &bquo;Don't worry, Mole. I've seen it all before. Only mine drinks. If you lit a match in our kitchen, it'd go up with a roar.&equo;

When Val was gone, Roland realised, with a shock like a religious conversion, that he did not want their way of life to go on. He rolled over, and spread his loosened limbs in the bed, he opened windows, he went to the Tate Gallery alone and looked at the dissolving blue and gold air of Turner's Norham Castle. He cooked a pheasant for his rival in the departmental rat-race, Fergus Wolff, which was exciting and civilised, although the pheasant was tough and full of shot. He made plans, which were not plans, but visions of solitary activity and free watchfulness, things he had never had. After a week, Val came back, tearful and shaky, and declared that she meant at least to earn her living, and would take a course in shorthand-typing. &bquo;At least you want me,&equo; she told Roland, her face damp and glistening. &bquo;I don't know why you should want me, I'm no good, but you do.&equo; &bquo;Of course I do,&equo; Roland had said. &bquo;Of course.&equo;

When his DES grant ran out, Val became the breadwinner, whilst he finished his PhD. She acquired an IBM golfball typewriter and did academic typing at home in the evenings and various well-paid temping jobs during the day. She worked in the City and in teaching hospitals, in shipping firms and art galleries. She resisted pressure to specialise. She would not be drawn out to talk about her work, to which she almost never referred without the adjective &bquo;menial&equo;. &bquo;I must do just a few more menial things before I go to bed&equo; or, more oddly, &bquo;I was nearly run over on my menial way this morning.&equo; Her voice acquired a jeering note, not unfamiliar to Roland, who wondered for the first time what his mother had been like before her disappointment, which in her case was his father and to some extent himself. The typewriter clashed and harried him at night, never rhythmical enough to be ignored.

Date: 1967 Title: THE MAGIC TOYSHOP Author: Angela Carter B Melanie C her mother X unknown

Now, who has planted this thick hedge of crimson roses in all this dark, green, luxuriant foliage with, oh, what cruel thorns?

Melanie opened her eyes and saw thorns among roses, as if she woke from a hundred years' night, la belle au bois dormante, imprisoned in a century's steadily burgeoning garden. But it was only her new wallpaper, which was printed with roses, though she had not before noticed the thorns. And familiar Edward Bear lay on her pillow and Victoria slept on her stomach in her cot six feet away, behind white painted bars. Grey, uncertain light leaked in through the curtains. The tip of Melanie's nose was frozen with cold.

She put her face in Edward Bear's belly, for warmth. The fur smelled peppery. She remembered yesterday. &bquo;The Last Meal in the Old Home&equo;, like a Pre-Raphaelite painting, the three orphans and the grieving servant seated in melancholy around the old table, using the old knives and forks they would never use again. What would become of the knives and forks, who would want to buy them? They are stainless steel flotsam swishing around the uncaring beaches of other people's lives. They would probably be thrown away. They sat at a table covered with a checked tablecloth and tiles clicked underfoot (Mummy brought back the tiles from Spain), and there was a big, brick fireplace with horse-brasses and copper pans and the boiler in the middle for the central heating, where there should have been a huge fire. But never mind. Such a lovely, old-fashioned kitchen. Her mother had once been photographed in the kitchen in a frilly apron, mixing a cake. The photographs were printed in a series of features about celebrities' wives and who they were and how they coped. It was a lovely kitchen. Their last meal in it should have been a kind of sacrament. But Victoria had greased herself like an Eskimo with sausage fat, being too young for sentiment. Well, good-bye to all that.

They had come to London and eaten rabbit pie and the day ended inappropriately with music and dancing. Finn dancing in his stained vest and Francie playing the fiddle like the devil himself, who had been a fiddler, and the dumb aunt in a cape of fiery hair whistling along a flute. Or had she dreamed it? But, if so, why? And if she had not dreamed it, how had she got back to bed? Had Finn carried her? She pictured herself in her graceless flannel pyjamas clutched to Finn's narrow young breast, she limp as a bolster with a black wig on it. Finn looked like a satyr. Maybe his legs were hairy under the worn-out trousers, coarse-pelted goat legs and neat, cloven hooves. Only he was too dirty for a satyr, who would probably wash frequently in mountain streams.

&bquo;Finn looks untrustworthy,&equo; she thought. His eyes were so shifting, so leering and slippery; the slight cast made one unsure of the direction of his gaze. And his ugly, noisy way of breathing through his mouth. He reminded her of a clothes peg-selling or paper-flower-hawking gipsy, who would raid the henhouse or seduce the maids or steal the washing from the line or all three together. He disturbed her, but not pleasantly. Still, he was young and she had been afraid the house would be full of only old people.

The light looked tremulous and early. She would have liked to sleep again but found she could not and so she had to get up. The cold struck through her pyjamas. She was accustomed to central heating. She would have to buy some new, thick pyjamas for the winter which was just beginning, if there was any money. But — the thought upset her — would there be any spare money, any pocket-money, for her own small, personal needs, shampoos and stockings and perhaps a little face-cream, that sort of thing? There was no way of telling. She belted her raincoat over her pyjamas. Her old candlewick cotton dressing-gown had finally shrunk to uselessness just before her parents went away. In the rush of their departure, there had been no time to buy her a new one. &bquo;We'll bring you a really super one back from America,&equo; promised her mother.

She had to find her own way to the bathroom and was pleased with herself for so quickly remembering that it lay at the end of the passage. She felt less of a stranger once she knew where the bathroom was. Too tired to wash the night before, she had not used it. Now, feeling the train grubbiness all over her, she thought she might have a bath. It would be good to roll in hot water all over. But water ran cold in the bathroom basin. She held her hand under the flow for a long time but the water grew no warmer. Incredulously, she had to accept the fact that there was no hot water in the bathroom neither to bath in nor to wash her face with. She had not realised there were still houses where there was no hot-water system or that a relative of hers might live in one Neither was there proper toilet soap. Squatting toad-like in a blue and white china soap-dish with a Greek key design was a worn cake of common household soap, coarse-textured and yellow and marked with dirty thumbprints from careless usage, which stung her face and probably corroded it. She could feel her skin, corroding. Cold water and washing soap, this was how it was to be. There was a crack in the deep, old-fashioned wash-basin and a long, red hair was fixed in the crack and floated out in the water as the basin filled. The towel was on a roller; it fell off, towel and roller, both, when she tried to dry her hands. The towel was striped and not quite clean and slimy and harsh to the touch at the same time. Four frayed toothbrushes, pink, green, blue and yellow, were stuck in a plastic rack which had got itself caked up with toothpaste. On a smeared glass shelf, a full set of false teeth grinned faceless, like a disappeared Cheshire cat, from a cloudy tumbler. The plastic gums were hectically coloured a sunset pink. Melanie thought they must belong to Uncle Philip. He had come back, then.

The lavatory had most of the works of the cistern showing. When she tugged the chain (which had a pottery handle bluntly instructing her to &bquo;PULL&equo; on it), there was a raucous, metallic clanking fit to wake the whole house, but not a trickle of water came down to flush the bowl. She tried again. This time a few, reluctant drops spattered the millpond surface but did not disturb it. She gave up. There was, she observed, no toilet paper next to the lavatory; but, hanging from a loop of string, a number of sheets of the Daily Mirror roughly ripped into squares. There was a copy of the Irish Independent thrust down behind the lavatory pipe. Someone must have been reading it during an attack of constipation.

The bathroom was painted a dark green half-way up the walls and, above that, cream. It was a narrow, high room with unsuitable, stately proportions to the tall window, which was glazed with frosted glass and half-covered by a torn, plastic curtain with Disney fish on it. There was no mirror in the bathroom, not even a shaving one. Over the bath, which stood on four, clawed, brass feet and contained a puddle of grit-flecked water in which floated a small plastic submarine from a packet of cereal, was a large geyser, the exposed metal of which had turned green with the years.

Melanie washed as quickly as she could. The bathroom depressed her very much. &bquo;The Last Wash at the Old Home&equo;. Not a genre picture at all, but a photograph from an advertising book on bathrooms. Porcelain gleamed pink and the soft, fluffy towels and the toilet paper were pink to match. Steaming water gushed plentifully from the dolphin shaped taps and jars of bath essence and toilet water and after-shave glowed like jewellery; and the low lavatory tactfully flushed with no noise at all. It was a temple to cleanness. Mother loved nice bathrooms. She thought bathrooms were terribly important.

&bquo;Don't,&equo; said Melanie sternly to herself, &bquo;cry because of the state of their bathroom.&equo;

But all the same, it was hard. She forced herself not to think of the old bathroom and, by extension, of her mother. Now, though, she perceived that many things which she had taken for granted in her life, simple, cosy, homely things, were, in fact, great luxuries. No wonder there was no inheritance for the children and they must scrape themselves with newspaper and redden their pampered fingers in icy water now that the goose who laid the golden eggs was dead.

The bedroom seemed already known and safe. She put on her black trousers and her chocolate-brown sweater because they were at the top of the first suitcase she opened and she would have worn them at home on a cool autumn day when there was mist on the hills and woodsmoke in the lanes and … She looked out of the window. The morning was damp, though not rainy, the grey day just beginning.

There were a few leaves left on the straggly garden bushes, hanging all crumpled and lifeless. Bare patches of dun-coloured earth showed through the scanty garden-plot grass. Creepers grew on the walls; deciduous, they stretched out their bare stems in a complicated network like barbed wire. There was a narrow alley with dustbins in it at the bottom of the garden and, beyond that, the rude and unkempt backsides of a row of tenement houses with blind, curtained windows and washing (long pants, vests, sheets,shirts) limp in the windless air, strung out on high lines running from pulleys at far-up windows. Tin baths, like giant snails, stuck half-way up the walls as if resting in a trip to the top. A new territory lay here, in which she must live.

Victoria turned over in her sleep and cooed at a dream. She was peachy and downy and sweet with baby sleep, a blue ribbon in her hair, which was dark and curly. What would Victoria become, here? Would she grow up into a street urchin, plimsolls, no socks, grimy tee shirt, with a London accent grating on a nicely-brought-up ear? And Jonathon, in his cabin under the eaves? And what of herself, of Melanie?

The house was entirely quiet. Melanie decided to adventure downstairs to the kitchen, where she had not been. She wanted to learn the new domestic geography as soon as she could, to find out what lay behind all the doors and how to light the stove and whereabouts the dog slept. To make herself at home. She had to make herself at home, somehow. She could not bear to feel such a stranger, so alien, and somehow so insecure in her own personality, as if she found herself hard to recognise in these new surroundings. She crept down the lino-covered stairs.

The kitchen was quite dark because the blinds were drawn. There was a smell of stale cigarette smoke and some unwashed cups were stacked neatly in the sink, but the room was ferociously clean. It was quite a big room. There was a built-in dresser, painted dark brown, loaded with crockery, a flour jar, a bread-bin. There was a larder you could walk into. Melanie experimentally walked into it and pulled the door to on herself in a cool smell of cheese and mildew. What did they eat? Tins of things; they seemed particularly fond of tinned peaches, there was a whole stack of tins of peaches. Tinned beans, tinned sardines. Aunt Margaret must buy tins in bulk. There were a number of cake tins and Melanie opened one and found last night's currant cake. She took a ready-cut slice of it and ate it. It made her feel more at home, already, to steal something from the larder. She went back into the kitchen, scattering crumbs.

Title: Jerusalem the Golden Author: Drabble, Margaret B Clara C Clara's father G Clara's mother J Headmistress L Clara's family M Mrs Hewitt

Because there was nothing in Clara's past that would seem to have fitted her for such recognitions: she was not bred to it. And when she reflected, as she frequently did, upon what she had been bred to, she was profoundly puzzled by her own origins. Her birth, as far as she could see, had been accidental; no careful well-intended deity could have selected for her her own home. But she did not like to admit the accidental, for if her birth was the effect of chance, so then was her escape; the same arbitrary law that had produced her might well have blinded her at the most crucial moments of her life, and left her forever desiring, forever missing, never achieving, an eternal misfit. She had seen people like this. She had no confidence that time would bring with it inevitable growth: she grew by will and by strain. As a child, she was always deeply affected by the story of the sower who sowed his seeds, and some fell by the wayside, and some on stony ground and some fell among the thorns, and some fell upon good ground and bore fruit. This story was a favourite of the headmistress of her primary school, so she heard it often at Morning Prayers, and long before she could see it as a parable, she already felt shock before its injustice. The random scattering of seeds, and how much worse, of human souls, appalled her. As she grew older, she looked upon herself, tragically, defiantly, with all the hopelessness of fourteen years, as a plant trying to root itself upon the solid rock, without water, without earth, without shade: and then, when a little older yet, when conscious of some growth, she had to concede that she must have fallen happily upon some small dry sandy fissure, where a few grains of sand, a few drops of moisture, had been enough to support her trembling and tenacious life. Because she would live, she would survive.

It always amazed her to see that other people could live so comfortably upon such barren territory. Northam was to her the very image of unfertile ground, and yet other people lived there and stayed there when they had money in the bank and legs to walk away on. She hated her home town with such violence that when she returned each vacation from University, she would shake and tremble with an ashamed and feverish fear. She hated it, and she was afraid of it, because she doubted her power to escape; even after two years in London, she still thought that her brain might go or that her nerve might snap, and that she would be compelled to return, feebly, defeated, to her mother's house. She was so constantly braced, her will so stiff from desire, that she could not sleep at nights; she feared that if she fell asleep she might lose her determination and her faith, might wake up alone in her narrow bed, in the small back bedroom, overlooking the small square garden, backing onto the next small square garden, where for so many years she had lain and dreamed her subversive dreams. She was frightened of this: and also she was frightened of her mother.

Her father was dead. He was killed on a pedestrian crossing when Clara was sixteen. Those who took an interest in Clara might have seen in his death the loss of an ally, because outwardly at least he appeared to be more intelligent than his wife; at least he did not scorn in public, as she did, all efforts of the mind, and all the aims of education. But in fact he had never been particularly sympathetic towards Clara, and paid but a feeble and superficial attention to her progress. He did not like children; he did not much like anything. He took slightly more interest in his two sons, Arthur and Alan, but not through any natural preference for them; it was simply that with them he knew better what questions should be asked. His work, which he pursued at the Town Hall, was never mentioned in the house, and as far as Clara could gather it was mathematical, highly respectable, and highly dull. When people asked Mrs Maugham where her daughter got her brains from, she would sniff and shrug her shoulders and say, as though disclaiming a vice or a disease, "Well, she certainly didn't get them from me, she must have got them from him, I suppose" — a remark which Clara took years to place, in all its ambiguity, for the truth was that Mrs Maugham had done well at school, she had shone and prospered, and the evidence of her distant triumphs still lay around the house in the form of inscribed Sunday school prizes. But whatever talents she had once had, she had now turned ferociously against them, whereas her husband did still pay a curious self-willed homage to the intellectual virtues; he possessed an 1895 edition of the Encyclopaedia Britannica which he would, from time to time, read. He would also exhort his children to read it, and laid great stress upon the utility of information. His own father had been a skilled mechanic (a phrase which conveyed little to Clara) and as he himself had managed to purchase by his own labours a three bedroomed semi-detached house in a pleasant suburban district, he might have been thought to have cause to feel fairly content with life. But he did not. He was perpetually in the grip of some obscure, niggling, unexplained bitterness, which led him to repudiate most of the overtures which Clara would from time to time make towards him; she made these attempts because she was less frightened of him than she was of her mother, and she did on one or two occasions — the purchase of a bicycle, permission to go to the cinema — manage to enlist his sympathies. But she could see that his heart was not in it. And truly, she could not blame him. She could hardly bear to think the thought, but it did seem to her that anyone who had lived for so many years with her mother could be excused for a certain lack of joie de vivre.

When he died, she felt no real grief. The only reality of the event had been her mother's reaction, which was silent, grim, and grudging to the last; not a tear did she shed, and after the funeral, as she turned away from the graveside and started to walk slowly through the cemetery mud she set her mouth in that prophetic way, and straightened her thick body, and then, as she passed a gravestone announcing that death is but a separation, she opened her mouth and said, "Well, he's gone, and I can't say I'm sorry." And Clara, walking by her side and hearing these words, burst suddenly and at last into loud hysterical weeping, and as the tears flooded down her hot cheeks she knew that they were not for her father, but for the meanness and the lack of love, and for the fear that she would die in so ugly a hole, and so unloved. Nobody comforted her, for weeping was not necessary, but it was on the other hand permissible, and when she got home the aunts and uncles were kind to her and offered her cups of tea. Even her brothers were kind, though embarrassed and Clara, as she sat there picking endlessly at the fringe of the tablecloth, had a vision of some other world where violent emotion could be a thing of beauty, where even tears could be admitted and not ignored, where good taste in tomb stones consisted not in cheap restrained economy of design, fabric, and word, but of marble angels wildly grieving. Anything, anything would make death tolerable, she thought, anything that could admit something of the grand somewhere, and not this small cramped sitting room, this domestic duplicity, this pouring of cups of tea, these harshly unaltered faces. One tear would have sufficed her, one murmur of regret, but there was nothing; the family were not even in mourning, for they found the wearing of mourning a false and hypocritical extravagance. They would admit nothing; they sat there like stones, and their one aim was to sit there like stones, so that no one could tell if they cared or did not care, so that there should be no difference between caring and not caring.

The funeral itself had been a grotesque manifestation of Mrs Maugham's opinions. She had refused to have her husband cremated, not because she had anything so fanciful as a religious objection to cremation, but because she quite erroneously considered cremation to be a new-fangled idea, and she objected to the new. She had been brought up as a chapel-goer, and two generations back her family had been staunch Wesleyans, but she herself had long since dropped any pretence to faith of any kind, and now considered all religious observation as ridiculous frivolity. However, she maintained the moral impetus of her early years, although she had quite cast off its derivations and turned her back upon its fraudulent source; the narrow fervours and disapprovals were there, but their objects had subtly altered over the years. So that the wearing of mourning, fifty years earlier a sign of virtue, had now in Mrs Maugham's generation become a habit to be scorned and condemned; it was ostentatious and therefore it was insincere. And her dislike of the insincere ran so deep that she would rather publicly disclaim all grief for her dead husband than be accused of insincerity. But it took a trained observer to follow her through the quicksands of her disapprobation; a false step on the part of one of the aunts, for instance, could have reversed her attitude, and led her into a eulogy of black, into a martyred position whence the garments of all the others were an insult to her lone and exclusive widowhood, into a position where she alone had the right to flout the weight of tradition. She was, as Clara had discovered at an early age, colossally inconsistent; and sometimes Clara thought that it might have been easier to live with a true religious fanatic, whose fads and fancies would be at least predictable and well-marshalled, with the backing of some kind of external authority, from which there could be some appeal.

As it was, it was impossible for even the most servile and well-meaning to avoid offence. For what Mrs Maugham thought one week to be wholly disgraceful, she was praising the next, and with no apparent consciousness of discrepancy. For instance, there was the question of the coffin. Clara could not count the times she had heard her mother declare that when she died she would be dead, and she wouldn't care what happened to her body, and for all she cared they could put her out for the dustman to collect — sentiments which from the first had filled Clara with a vague alarm and horror, for they were clearly reasonable enough in their own way. And yet, when her husband died, the price and quality of the coffin became topics of obsessive interest, and the precise balance of economy and decency a subject for endless dissertation. Clara heard again and again of Mrs Hewitt, who buried her husband in an economy coffin of some inappropriately cheap and porous wood, and claimed a rebate from the insurance, and of the equally wicked and abandoned Mrs Duffy, who had squandered a fortune on black crepe and gilt handles, through a sheer love of ostentation. In the end, Clara, exasperated beyond endurance, brought up once more the possibility of cremation (not daring to mention, even in her own mind, which had not quite forsaken filial tenderness, the possibility of the once-praised dust cart) and Mrs Maugham, square, immutable, said quite astonishingly for her, and invoking sanctions she had been deriding for thirty years, that ashes must go to ashes and dust to dust. Clara forbore to point out that cremation did result, precisely, in ashes, because she took, expertly, her mother's meaning, which was that cremation was an unnatural practice and that bodies ought to rot quietly at their own leisure. And moreover Clara had even seen in the phrase some dim, far-off flicker of comfort, because, harsh though it was, it was not without a consoling figurative literary beauty.

Title: BEHIND THE SCENES AT THE MUSEUM Author: Kate Atkinson Date: 1995 Publisher: BLACK SWAN B I-narrator C Bunty G George J Janice Potter K Mrs Gorman L the household ghosts M Patricia X unknown
1966 Wedding Bells 'Shop!' Bunty has turned herself into a bag lady. She is carrying so many smart paper bags that she can't see where she's going and almost falls through the Shop door, dislodging part of the hearing-aid battery display as she sinks down with a grateful sigh into the nearest wheelchair and kicks off her shoes. 'It's murder out there,' she informs us. It's going to be murder in here when George finds out how much money she's just spent.

'What the heck have you been buying?' he asks as she fishes out a hat and sticks it on her head. The hat is pea-green satin and looks like a drum. George stares aghast at the drum-hat. 'Why have you bought that?'

'Don't you like it?' she says, swivelling her head round just like the Parrot used to. Her tone of voice indicates that she hasn't the faintest interest in whether George likes it or not. She conjures a pair of shoes from nowhere. 'Lovely, aren't they?' They're wickedly narrow with long stiletto heels, in the same shade of green as the hat. You know from looking at them that they'll be worn once and never again. She crams a foot into one of her new shoes with all the determination of an ugly sister. 'You could cut your toes off,' I suggest helpfully.

The number of as yet unplundered bags at Bunty's feet implies that she might have been buying things to wear in between the extremities of hat and shoes. She wrestles with a particularly large Leak and Thorp's bag - 'And . . .' Bunty says, like a magician's assistant, 'Ta-ra!' and produces a matching dress and coat in a slightly darker shade of soupy pea-green, in a heavy, artificial shot-silk. 'Why?' George asks with a pained look on his face.

'For the wedding, of course,' Bunty holds up the dress against herself, in a sitting-position, like an invalid. She turns to me, 'What do you think?'

I sigh and shake my head in envy and longing, 'It's lovely.' (Extracts from Ruby Lennox's school report, summer term, 1966 - Ruby has a real talent for acting . . . Ruby was the star of the school play.)

'The wedding?' George is thoroughly gamed now. 'Whose wedding?'

'Ted's, of course, Ted and Sandra's.'

'Ted?'

'Yes, Ted. My brother,' she adds helpfully as George stares blankly at her. 'Ted and Sandra. Their wedding's on Saturday - don't tell me you've forgotten?'

'This Saturday?' George seems to be having a mild apoplectic fit. 'But ...' he splutters and flounders, 'They can't get married this Saturday- it's the World Cup Final!'

'So?' Bunty says, weighting the one little syllable with a heavy mixed cargo of disdain, indifference and wilful misunderstanding, not to mention twenty years of marital antipathy. Even a Mandarin-speaking Chinaman would be floored by the subtleties of Bunty's intonation.

George is stunned. 'So?' he repeats, staring at her as if she'd just grown a second head, 'So?'

This could go on for ever. I cough politely, 'Ahem.'

'Have you got a cough?' Bunty asks accusingly. 'No, it's just I have to get back to school ...' It's a Monday lunchtime and Janice Potter has persuaded me to sign out with her (you can only leave school in pairs and you're supposed to stick like glue to each other in case you're raped, robbed or lost), so she can go to the Museum Gardens to smoke and snog with her boyfriend. Cast adrift at the gates, I have washed up at the Shop.

Bunty suddenly drops her bags and leaps from the wheelchair like a Lourdes miracle and says and hustles a hapless George out to help her 'choose' (that is, pay for) a wedding present for Ted and Sandra.

And so, here I am, abandoned to mind the Shop - sometimes I feel like Bunty, a discomfiting thought, to say the least. Will I turn out like my mother? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? I'm fourteen and already I've 'had enough'. Bunty was nearly twice my age before she started saying that. I'm an only child now with all the advantages (money, clothes, records) and all the disadvantages (loneliness, isolation, anguish). I'm all they've got left, a ruby solitaire, a kind of chemical reduction of all their children. 'Patricia, Gillian, P- Ruby, what's your name?' Luckily, I now know that all mothers do this as soon as they have more than one child - Mrs Gorman, Kathleen's mother, has to run through an astonishing litany of children - Billy-Michael-Doreen-Patrick-Frances-Joe - before she arrives at 'Kathleen-or-whatever-your-name-is.'

Being a Monday, business is slack so I occupy my time by deputising for one of Bunty's prime functions - wrapping the Durex. I take up my position by the huge roll of brown paper that's bolted on to the wall behind the counter and patiently pull and rip, pull and rip, until I've got a good supply of big square pieces. Then I take the pair of 'Nurses' Surgical Steel Scissors - Best Quality' that are chained to the counter and set about cutting up the big squares into smaller squares, like a particularly dull Blue Peter demonstration. When I've done that I get out a new box of Gossamer from the storeroom at the back (which was once the dining-room) and wrap the individual packets of three, neatly folding and sellotaping each end of the little brown paper envelopes. Now the Durex can be handed over like gifts ('Here's one I prepared earlier'), rapidly and discreetly, to our valued customers. Not by me, of course. I have not yet managed to sell one packet while I've been left in charge of the Shop; no-one seems keen to buy their rubber johnnies ('A planned family is a happy family') from a fourteen-year-old child, and when they charge into the shop, change at the ready, and see me, their eyes immediately shift to the nearest likely object and they shame out in dissatisfaction, clutching a packet of corn plasters or a pair of nail-clippers, and in this way I am probably personally responsible for a great many unplanned families.

I have wrapped an entire gross box of Durex and still they're not back. How long does it take to choose a present? Perhaps they've run away from home. I slump disconsolately into an electric wheelchair and push the control stick to 'Slow - forward' and trundle round the Shop pretending to be a Dalek, I am a Dalek I am a Dalek. For my Dalek gun, I use the dismembered dummy leg that models an Elastanet two-way stretch stocking and exterminate a stand of male urinals, a shelf of Dol's Flannel and two miniature bakelite torsos, one male, one female, who face each other across the Shop - Greek and mutely tragic - displaying their little surgical corsets to each other.

Restoring the male urinals to their former positions - balanced on top of each other like a circus tightrope act ('And now the fantastic, death-defying, one-and-only Male Urinals!') - I think about how I miss the Pets. For one thing, they were a less embarrassing stock to carry. It's not just the contraceptives - the Durex, the mysterious jellies and foams and the Dutch caps - there's a high snigger factor to nearly everything we carry. The glass counter is full of jock straps and incontinence pads; there's a shelf full of prosthetic breasts like small conical sandbags, another of trusses that look more like something you'd put on a horse; then there are the colostomy bags and this month's special offer is on rubber sheeting, thick red stuff that George cuts from a heavy roll that smells like car tyres. They might have given some thought to the effect that this has on my social life. ('And what exactly do your parents sell, Ruby?')

I even miss the Parrot. It's hard to believe that this is the same Shop it was before the fire. I often go upstairs, into the empty rooms where we once lived, and try to call the past back. Above the Shop has fallen into a rapid decay - it's never really been put back to rights since the fire. Whitewash balloons off the ceiling where Patricia once slept and the bedroom I shared with Gillian has an odd smell in it, the aroma of something decaying, like a dead rat concealed behind the wainscot. It seems now as if Above the Shop was just a trick of lath and plaster and light - and yet sometimes, if I stand on the stairs and close my eyes, I can hear the voices of the household ghosts being carried hither and thither on a current of air. Do they miss us, I wonder?

Sometimes I think I hear the Parrot, a ghostly squawk echoing around the Shop. Sometimes I think I can hear it on the other end of the telephone, all the way out in Acomb. We don't only have telephone calls from spectral parrots we also have calls from nobody at all, a mute phantom phoner who manifests himself as crackling static down the wires. When George answers these silent calls, he stares for a few seconds at the receiver as if it personally was to blame and then slaps it back down in the cradle and walks off in disgust. Bunty persists a little longer, trying to coax a response by repeating her normal phone greeting, 'Hello, this is the Lennox residence, Bunty Lennox speaking, how can I help you?' which is enough to put off all but the most determined caller and our poor spook is anything but robust. 'Mr Nobody again,' Bunty says, as if he was a personal friend.

But when I answer, I hang on for the longest time, waiting and hoping for a message. I'm sure it's Patricia on the other end of the phone - we haven't heard from her for well over a year and surely she'll be in touch soon. 'Patricia? Patricia?' I whisper urgently into the receiver, but if it is her, she doesn't answer. Your sister says not to worry would do (see Footnote (x)). Bunty must still expect Patricia home because she has left her room untouched, and as Patricia was not the tidiest of girls and her room was always littered with dirty clothing and food crumbs, it has by now taken on a Miss Haversham-air of decay and will probably soon revert to primordial slime.

Perhaps it isn't Patricia at all, but our Gillian, wandering in limbo and trying to phone home. But can spirits make telephone calls? Are there call-boxes beyond the veil? Do you need a coin or could she reverse the charges? Is it somebody else entirely? Perhaps I'll be able to corner Daisy and Rose at the wedding and get some satisfactory answers to these questions.

'Shop!' George says perfunctorily. 'There!' Bunty says, very pleased with herself as she winkles a china figure out of its box - a woman in a crinoline. 'It's called "The Crinoline Lady",' Bunty says, turning it this way and that to examine its porcelain flounces. George snorts, 'It looks like a toilet-roll holder.'

'That's exactly the kind of remark I would expect from you,' Bunty says, putting the offended Crinoline Lady back in her box. 'And you need a new tie for this wedding, in fact you can come out with me now and choose one.

'No!' I wail, struggling back into blazer and beret, 'I have to get back to school.' The afternoon bell will have gone by now (Late again, Ruby?). George looks at me. 'Are you going to this wedding?' he asks suddenly.

'Oh, for heaven's sakes!' Bunty says, her eyebrows taking off in exasperation. 'She's the bridesmaid!'

'You?' George says incredulously.

'Me,' I confirm with a helpless shrug of the shoulders. I'm not insulted by his disbelief, I'm even more amazed than he is.

Name: Daily Express Date: 5/12/94 Author: John Ingham, Political correspondent
Don't destroy our monarchy Tory alarm over call to trim royals

LABOUR was last night accused of trying to tear Britain's heart out over its threat to change the role of the Royal Family.

Shadow Home Secretary Jack Straw called for the Queen to be stripped of most of her powers and the number of working Royals cut to around six.

The monarchy would be run more along the lines of Scandinavian countries with its most popular member, the Queen Mother, probably left out.

Mr Straw - who claimed ominously added that the changes did "not necessarily spell the end" of royal rule.

Home Secretary Michael Howard immediately warned of "the devastating effect a future Labour government would have on Britain".

Mr Blair is already committed to a Scottish parliament, a Welsh assembly and a ban on hereditary peers in a radical reform of the House of Lords.

Only last Friday John Major pointed out that Labour's plans, which he described as "a sort of teenage madness", would lead to the break-up of the UK.

Last night Labour's Left-wing went even further than Mr Straw, calling for a referendum on the monarchy's abolition.

In a personal attack on the Queen, Stephen Tindale, a research fellow with Queen a 'tailor's dummy' Left launch attack against the monarchy

Labour's Institute of Policy Research said she had "the presentational skills of a tailor's dummy". He writes in the socialist magazine Fabian Review: "If heredity has no place in Blair's new Britain, then clearly the Royal Family has no place either.

"If Elizabeth Windsor can be shown to be ill-suited to reign, Britain's constitutional crisis could be on us sooner than we expect." Mr Straw's attack - to be screened on BBC's Panorama tonight - thrust the question of the country's constitutional future on the agenda for the next general election campaign.

He admitted that Labour wanted to reduce the Queen's powers over Parliament and added: "We have a series of constitutional proposals including changes to the royal prerogative.

"I think it will hasten the process towards a more Scandinavian monarchy, a monarch symbolising a much more classless society, someone who's above the political battle than has been the case. That doesn't necessarily spell the end of the monarchy, not for a second. But it does mean the monarchy's role will be redefined."

The Home Secretary says in today's Daily Express that the full extent of Labour's wrecking plans is becoming clear.

Mr Howard adds: "It would amount to the break-up of the Britain we love."

He warns that Labour's plans are the first step towards introducing a republic. "Having a directly-elected president is a logical consequence of Labour's plans," he says.

Last night Mr Straw insisted he was simply reflecting the debate taking place across Britain as well as the anger at what he called Tory "abuse" of the constitution.

But Social Security Secretary Peter Lilley warned that Mr Straw's stance risked alienating Labour voters - often more conservative about the Royal Family than Tories.

He promised: "We have to fight vigorously to defend our institutions - the monarchy, Parliament, the United Kingdom, the independence of Britain in Europe. Regret

"They are trying to placate their Left-wing activists with constitutional reform - downgrading the monarchy, splitting up the United Kingdom, subordinating Britain in Europe," he said on BBC1's Breakfast with Frost programme.

"I regret that they have put the future of the monarchy into the political domain but having done so they risk losing the support of a lot of voters."

Tory chairman Jeremy Hanley said: "The monarchy is a symbol of stability. It is the envy of so many in Eastern and Central Europe who wish to model their democracies on our own."

Name: Daily Express Date: 5/12/94
Major faces Clinton snub on Bosnia talks Author: Patrick Hennessy in Budapest and John Ingham in London Future of British troops in balance

PRESIDENT Clinton was set to snub John Major last night as the "special relationship" took a dramatic turn for the worse.

Intense diplomatic efforts have failed to secure a full-scale meeting between the two on the fate of British troops in Bosnia.

The Prime Minister may have to be satisfied with brief informal talks.

The U.S. delegation at a pan-European security summit in Budapest is concentrating on setting up talks with Russian President Boris Yeltsin.

Mr Clinton's snub to Mr Major comes amid an angry diplomatic battle between Britain and America over the West's role in Bosnia. The Americans want to take steps to arm Bosnian Moslems, who are under siege from Serbs in several enclaves.

But Britain claims such a course of action would put at risk the UK's 3,300 troops by making them targets for Serb revenge attacks.

The spat came as Defence Secretary Malcolm Rifkind prepared to fly to Croatia for talks on whether to order the biggest British retreat since Dunkirk.

UN troops - including British soldiers - are increasingly being taken hostage by Bosnian Serbs as human shields against UN air raids.

The chairman of the Commons Defence Committee, Sir Nicholas Bonsor, said last night it was time to get the British troops out.

He said: "I have become increasingly concerned about their safety. The position there is obviously getting very much more dangerous." Action

Mr Rifkind will meet top UN officials including Lieutenant-General Sir Michael Rose, the commander of UN forces in Bosnia.

General Rose said in Sarajevo yesterday: "There is a pressing need for political action and a resolution of the problem." Britain and France won backing from Serbian President Slobodan Milosevic.

He pledged support for an international plan to divide Bosnia between Serbs and a Moslem-Croat federation. He also called for an immediate end to the fighting.

Foreign Secretary Douglas Hurd - who flew to Belgrade in a new push for peace - said the West was just weeks away from pulling out if the Bosnian Serb warlords rejected peace.

He warned that if the warring factions refused to talk, the allies would have no choice but to pull their troops out and lift the arms embargo on Bosnia's Moslems. Britain is reluctant to withdraw after two years of gruelling effort to relieve civilian suffering and prevent the war spreading.

The one piece of good news yesterday was the release by the Bosnian Serbs of 20 British sappers held hostage near the besieged Moslem enclave of Gorazde for a week.

The "special relationship" has also cooled over Sinn Fein President Gerry Adams's latest U.S. visit.

He is to meet officials at the White House tomorrow and is angling for a face-to-face meeting with Mr Clinton.

British Ministers are adamant this must not happen ahead of crucial preliminary talks between Sinn Fein negotiator Martin McGuinness and a top British civil servant, set for Friday. British officials want formal talks between Mr Major and Mr Clinton aimed at hammering out solutions to both problems.

Bob Dole, the Republican who will lead the U.S. Senate from next month, called yesterday for "robust" bombing of Bosnian Serbs to bring them to the negotiating table.

He said the Bosnian situation was "a disastrous, humiliating affair" and laid a three-point plan for ending the war.

"Withdraw what we call the UN protection force, lift the arms embargo and start robust bombing."

Name: Daily Express Date: 5/12/94 Author: Sam Oakley
Spike jibe at 'grovelling' Charles

VETERAN comic Spike Milligan shocked millions of TV viewers last night by calling Prince Charles "a little grovelling bastard".

Spike, 76, made the outrageous remark about his royal fan as a tribute from the Prince was read out to him at the British Comedy Awards.

The star-studded audience went into hysterics at his outburst.

Seconds earlier they had given Spike a standing ovation when the show's presenter Jonathan Ross announced that he had won an award for lifetime achievement.

Spike wiped away tears as he walked to the podium where Ross held a leather bound letter bearing the royal crest.

Ross read the tribute which began "as someone who grew up listening to the Goons on a steam driven radio I must confess I have been a lifelong fan of Spike Milligan".

But Spike blurted out: "He's a little grovelling bastard." Within a minute 30 viewers rang ITV to complain. But Spike shrugged off the protests.

He said: "I had to stop him reading it out because it was just a string of cliches Charles had dictated to somebody and I'd heard it all before."

He added: "After this I'll probably be banished to a lonely island off the Scillies where I will be chained to a rampant ram dressed in rags.

"But I'm sure Charles will understand. He's a lovely man and has a good sense of humour. I see him quite often and I am having dinner with him at Christmas."

Steve Coogan, star of Knowing Me Knowing You...With Alan Partridge, was voted best male comedy performer.

The star, who has overcome a cocaine addiction which nearly killed him, was also named Top TV Comedy Personality while his spoof chatshow won Best New TV Comedy.

Name: Daily Express Date: 5/12/94 Author: Paul Fuller
For God's sake stop rewriting our Bible New scriptures may be PC but they're not gospel truth

ANGRY churchmen have condemned a politically-correct Bible which has rewritten the scriptures to avoid giving offence.

It attempts to do away with alleged sexism, racism and even bias against left-handed people.

Traditionalists have accused the authors of heresy and claim they are making a mockery of the Bible message.

"We are not at liberty to change the word of God just to be politically correct," said the Rev. Tony Higton. "If you are going to tear some pages out of the Bible and rewrite others where will it finish?

"You end up with something that would ultimately be a different religion."

The most obvious change is the removal of God's male identity. Crippled

Jesus becomes the Human One instead of the Son of Man and congregations will be asked to thank Our Mother who art in Heaven.

The authors have gone out of their way to avoid any suggestion of anti-Semitism.

Jews as a race are no longer held responsible for crucifying Christ.

Out go references which class people specifically as blind or crippled. Even bias against left-handed people is banished.

The authors have removed verses which talk of "God's right hand" and replaced them with references to "God's mighty hand".

The changes have been made by Oxford University Press in a bid to take the "oppression" out of Christianity.

The new Bible is to be published in America in February and last night its opponents in the Church of England vowed to fight publication here.

Mr Higton, of Hawkwell church near Rochford Essex, said: "The Bible was originally written in Hebrew and Greek and we do need accurate translation. I actually prefer the word Mankind to Humanity.

"But to go as far as removing bias against left-handed people is ridiculous.

"If we allow these changes we are making human opinions more important than God's word-and that is dangerously close to saying human beings are more important than God."

The Archdeacon of York. the Venerable George Austin, said: "The traditional language of the Bible is part of its majesty.

"It's ludicrous to invent language in this way. It will mean nothing to ordinary parishioners."

Nigel Lynn, editor of OUP's bible section, admitted: "I'm sure some people will take great exception to it.

"But it's controversial whichever way you go. Others would say the only controversial thing is not doing this."

Name: Daily Express Date: 12/12/94 Author: Paul Crosbie
Come and get your millions Mystery as mega winner stays silent

THE luckiest punter in Britain was deep in hiding last night.

One person scooped the £17,880,003 Lottery jackpot, but the question remained - who?

Organisers Camelot would only confirm that whoever phoned in to claim the prize did not belong to a syndicate.

The win is the country's biggest and one of the largest in the world. It leaves the lucky person with just one problem-whether to remain anonymous or not.

"It will be up to them whether they will want to go public," said Camelot. "There is no pressure."

The huge jackpot was swollen by the "roll-over" in cash from last week's unclaimed £6.9 million top prize.

Frenzied buying on Saturday exceeded £25 million and meant the total stake was a record £61.5 million.

The mystery person was the only one to select the numbers 26, 35, 38, 43, 47 and 49. The win means they should never have financial worries again. They will be guaranteed an income of £20,600 a week - £1 million a year - simply by putting the cheque into an ordinary building society account and living off the interest.

The cash catapults the gambler into the league of the superwealthy, just below the country's 500 richest people such as film star Roger Moore, landowning Duke of Wellington and motor racing boss Frank Williams.

Among experts standing by to counsel the winner are an accountant and lawyer. They will offer advice on how to handle the cash - more than rock star Eric Clapton earned last year and equivalent to the defence budget of the Seychelles for 18 months.

Psychologist Jane Firbank explained: "The winner will have to learn to think in a completely different way.

"We like the security which comes with routine, but to them constraints like working and saving for holidays have suddenly all gone. It will be confusing."

Name: Daily Express Date: 12/12/94
Graham deal is probed Author: Steve Curry

SOCCER boss George Graham's future was in the balance last night after allegations that he had accepted a £285,000 illegal payment.

The Premier League announced a full investigation into the claims against the Arsenal manager.

Graham denied yesterday he made any money out of the deal that took Danish midfielder John Jensen to the North London club in August 1992.

"The only thing I have to say about these stories is > that I have not profited from any transfers and I think it is important I make that clear," he said.

Arsenal directors held an emergency board meeting to discuss the allegations.

Chief executive Ken Friar said: "We will co-operate with the Premier League inquiry which is due to take place shortly.

"All the facts of the transfer as known to us will be placed before them and we will make no further statement ahead of the enquiry."

Name: Daily Express Date: 12/12/94 Author: Andrew Moody, Political Correspondent
Portillo piles on Euro pressure Major urged to abandon referendum

MICHAEL Portillo stepped up the pressure on John Major on Europe yesterday as the Tories embarked on another troubled week.

He admitted the party had suffered a "terrible rift" but urged the Prime Minister to take a more Euro-sceptic course.

Despite Mr Major reaffirming he has not ruled out a referendum on Europe, the Employment Secretary spoke out strongly against one.

And after the Premier accused the eight suspended rebel Tory MPs of "self indulgence," Mr Portillo called for healing and tolerance.

The latest divisions emerged as the party braces itself for a crushing defeat in Thursday's Dudley West by-election.

A GMTV poll yesterday put Labour support at 63 per cent, suggesting a landslide for Tony Blair in his first by-election as leader.

Questioned about the Euro-rebels yesterday Mr Portillo said: "There has to be a healing process. There has to be tolerance.

"Things are too raw, too difficult, too excited. We've had this terrible rift. Let us see whether the passage of time, a little tolerance can bring us together." Speaking on BBC TV's Breakfast with Frost, he said: "The problem with the Conservative Party is basically Europe. That's the thing we have to sort out."

Asked whether a referendum could heal the rift, he said: "For me a referendum would not be my first choice. Difficult decisions should be taken by Parliament because we're elected to take difficult decisions. United

"If the Conservative Party comes out with a clear, united policy, which would be much more Eurosceptical than our opponents and much more Euro-sceptical than the rest of the continent, that would be a much firmer basis on which to go forward."

Mr Portillo's unexpected opposition means he has lined up with Chancellor Kenneth Clarke and Trade President Michael Heseltine against a referendum. But Foreign Secretary Douglas Hurd said yesterday: "We are not saying never." As the Cabinet split deepens, Tory MPs pushing for a referendum are worried Mr Blair will steal a march on Mr Major by declaring Labour's commitment to hold one.

It was reported yesterday that Mr Blair told overseas newspapers last week there was a clear case for one.

Mr Hurd also signalled he is growing weary of the Tory feuding over Europe and may bow out before the next election.

Asked on BBC Radio if he would still be Foreign Secretary at the time of a key conference on the future of Europe in 1996, he appeared to sigh.

He said: "I don't like to peer too far into the future. I can see work for me next year and I am getting down to it."

Ex-Chancellor Norman Lamont thought the Tories would back a referendum either on a single currency or political integration.

Ex-Tory chairman Lord Tebbit, in a further swipe at Mr Major, said suspending the rebel MPs was silly and said: "Can anyone help this suicidal Government?"

In a further embarrassment for the Tories, an ex-treasurer of the Conservative Association in Dudley West announced he had joined the UK Independence Party, which wants Britain to quit the EU.

Garry Coxhill, 53, a Tory member since 1977, accused the party of betraying the country.

Name: Daily Express Date: 12/12/94 Author: John Coles and Alex Hendry
Shot scientist knew he was on death list Hitman guns down DNA expert with a tangled love life

A SCIENTIST blasted to death in a shotgun killing at the weekend knew he was on a hit-list, police believe.

Dr Michael Meenaghan, 35, was an expert in genetic fingerprinting - used by police to help trap murderers and rapists.

He was gunned down as he made a cup of tea in his kitchen by a killer he may have known.

And although he made a 999 call just seconds before his death, all the emergency operator could hear was someone struggling for breath.

Last night neighbours told how the pony-tailed doctor - known as Spike - had recently begun taking extraordinary security precautions.

They also told of his complicated love life which saw him sharing his home with two different women.

The curtains at his end of terrace home in the heart of Oxford's notorious Blackbird Leys estate were always drawn.

His telephone number was ex-directory and his windows and doors were always locked.

He even draped a sheet over an upstairs bedroom window so no one could see if he was inside. Alley

But his murderer - possibly a professional - spotted him in his kitchen on Saturday afternoon when he went to make a cup of tea.

The Scots-born doctor had not covered the window and was in full view from a narrow alley running alongside the house.

The killer walked down the alley smashed a window with his shotgun then fired at close range.

Dr Meenaghan was hit in the chest and died quickly. When police broke into his house they found him bleeding on the kitchen floor. The phone was off the hook.

The victim was a lecturer at the renowned Sir William Dunn School of Pathology which featured in the Inspector Morse television series.

His complicated love life is a central part of the police inquiry. Detectives are examining letters which point to a series of relationships.

Neighbour Val Dorgan said yesterday: "He moved here with his wife two years ago.

"She moved out at Easter and at the same time a girlfriend moved in with a little boy.

He said: "They were kissing and cuddling about the place until she moved out a few weeks later."

Another neighbour, Danny McKinlay, 32, added: "A few months before his wife moved out there was some sort of domestic incident between them, and the police were called."

Dr Meenaghan studied DNA profiling, which is used to help identify crime suspects.

Colleagues at the School of Pathology described him as "dedicated to his profession and a real expert in DNA".

Name: Daily Express Date: 12/12/94
I'm no killjoy says Santa attack vicar

A VICAR who told his congregation "Santa's a fake" stood by his words yesterday. Parents who taught children to believe in Father Christmas were tricking them, according to Rev Dick Haigh.

The 63-year-old grandfather was accused of spoiling the magic of Christmas. But Mr Haigh was unrepentant. "Children are easily confused between what is fantasy and reality," he said. "I don't accept I'm a Christmas killjoy."

Yesterday the vicar preached at St Columbus's church in Warcop, near Appleby in Cumbria - where worshipper Susan Fell said: "The vicar has let the cat out of the bag. It will be the talk of the school. I'm sure my daughter is going to find out."

Name: Daily Express Date: 12/12/94 Author: Jack Gee in Paris and Jon Craig in London
Major celebrations as Delors ducks out

EURO chief Jacques Delors, strong favourite to be the next president of France, last night said he will not be a candidate in the spring election.

His decision will be welcomed by John Major, battling to contain Tory tensions over Europe.

If he had become President, arch-federalist Mr Delors would have been a formidable opponent for the Prime Minister in his battle to prevent moves towards a European superstate.

Although he dare not say so publicly, Mr Major is keen to see present French prime minister Edouard Balladur, from the centre right, become president. In recent weeks Mr Balladur has made speeches opposing faster European integration, which Mr Major has warmly welcomed as being in line with his own views.

Jacques Chirac, the mayor of Paris, is Mr Balladur's main opponent in the race.

Mr Balladur is much more cautious about a single currency for Europe than veteran Socialist French president Mr Mitterrand.

At the Franco-British summit at Chartres last month, Mr Major and Mr Balladur struck up a good relationship and Mr Major was pleased to see his French counterpart backed his determination to slow down the push towards closer European ties.

Mr Delors is understood to have told European heads of government, including Mr Major and Foreign Secretary Douglas Hurd of his decision during the EU Summit in Essen at the weekend.

But while he sounded emphatic about not standing for President in his broadcast on French TV last night, some senior British diplomats believe his decision may not be irrevocable.

Mr Delors claimed he had done a good job as President of European Union. "You just have to look at the way the British press has attacked me," he added with a smile.

French socialists - seeing a winning presidential campaign in disarray and without a credible alternative candidate - are expected to put pressure on Delors to reconsider his decision to back down. Delors, who rose from lowly bank trade union official to the most powerful man in Europe said last night: "I will no doubt be criticised but I hope the French people will understand."

He said a campaign would oblige him to make promises he would not be able to fulfil because he would have to work with a conservative parliament.

But there is a belief that Mr Delors may be receptive to arm twisting by the French Socialist Party early next year and stand after all.

By pulling out of a race he was never officially in, Delors virtually assured that a right winger would succeed cancer-stricken Mr Mitterrand, who has been in power since 1981.

Name: Daily Express Date: 12/12/94 Author: Will Stewart in Moscow
Yeltsin's tanks roll into smash revolt Rebels warn of terrorist raids

HUNDREDS of former Red Army tanks rolled to war yesterday as the Kremlin's patience with the breakaway mafia-ridden enclave of Chechnya snapped.

The invasion order was given by Russian leader Boris Yeltsin from his hospital bed in Moscow where he is recovering from a nose operation.

Last night fears of carnage were rising as thousands of Russian troops surrounded the Chechen capital of Grozny - which translates as "Terrible" - 1,100 miles south-east of Moscow.

Yeltsin demanded his army be in place to storm Grozny today, third anniversary of the Soviet Union's collapse. He gave the Chechens four days to lay down arms.

The West turned a blind eye to the huge offensive with one Moscow diplomat saying Yeltsin "has a right to sort out this trouble in his own backyard".

But Yeltsin's former liberal allies in Russia strongly rebuked him for strong-arm tactics.

Three separate columns of Russian tanks, armoured personnel carriers and paratroopers closed on Grozny, a city of 400,000, after Yeltsin's order was enforced. Warrior

But resistance had begun from the proud and violent Chechen "warrior nation", which claims its mountain lands should be recognised by the world as independent.

As women and children fled the snow-covered city and headed for the hills village men converged on Grozny to aid its defence.

Elsewhere villagers halted troops and removed the batteries and fuel of armoured personnel carriers.

Last night the Chechens claimed they had captured 40 Russian soldiers and six personnel carriers as they rolled in.

Key installations in Russia were under heavy guard last night following threats by Chechen breakaway leader Dzhokhar Dudayev to launch terrorist strikes in Moscow.

He has even threatened to detonate bombs at Russia's Chernobyl-style nuclear power stations.

Yesterday the dapper, mustachioed Dudayev - a former Soviet air force general who relies on the support of Moslem extremists - vowed that Kremlin troops would return to Moscow "in their coffins."

With an uneasy stand-off last night in Grozny he pledged: "We will defend ourselves".

Name: Daily Mirror Date: 5/12/94
CUT THE ROYALS DOWN TO SIZE

LABOUR called last night for a streamlined Scandinavian style monarchy to banish Britain's class-ridden society.

They want the 40 strong royal family halved - with just a handful of five or six working royals.

But Shadow Home Secretary Jack Straw blasted Tory claims that his party were attacking the Queen.

Mr Straw told the Daily Mirror: "The changes ought to strengthen the monarchy for the future not weaken it. The monarchy will survive, but it is going through a period of change.

"It should be a monarchy which symbolises a classless society and one which is less elaborate."

Labour plan to strip hereditary peers of their right to sit and vote in the House of Lords.

Mr Straw said that would help end Britain's class-ridden society.

"I believe it will also change people's views of the monarchy," he said.

'There would no longer be a large number of people who take a direct part in Government by sitting in the Lords simply because they are their fathers' sons."

Labour's plans are spelled out in tonight's BBC1 Panorama programme. Mr Straw told Panorama: "If we have a monarchy with a more limited role as a symbol of a classless society, without a hereditary House of Lords, you don't need the current quite substantial number of members of the royal family performing official duties.

"It could probably be around five or six."

Yesterday, Mr Straw's leaked quotes were seized upon by Cabinet Ministers who claimed they showed Labour planned to "downgrade" the monarchy. Banana

Trade supremo Michael Heseltine declared: "They have a vision of Britain as a banana republic with some worn-out political figure at its head."

Social Security Secretary Peter Lilley accused Labour of pandering to its left-wing activists.

But Mr Straw hit back: "The changes we are talking about do not necessarily spell the end of the monarchy, not for a second, but it does mean the monarchy's role will end up being redefined."

Mr Straw is convinced the next Labour Government would still be "Her Majesty's Government " and the monarch would continue to give the Queen's Speech.

He said Ministers must stop using the Queen's name - the royal prerogative - to flout the wishes of Parliament.

Mr Straw added: "This is not about taking power away from the Queen, but stopping Ministers using her name to do what they want."

Name: Daily Mirror Date: 5/12/94 Author: Justin Dunn
JUST A MASCOT AT THE PALACE

LABOUR'S reforms could reduce the Queen to little more than a "mascot," a royal expert warned last night. Politicians would have too much power with no one above the Government to keep it in check. Harold Brookes-Baker, editor of Burke's Peerage, said ending the right of hereditary peers to vote in the Lords would leave the Queen with a "rubber-stamp" role.

He said: "What we have to decide is whether we want a fully-fledged republic or an operational royal family. You can't have both."

Mr Brookes-Baker warned of the dangers in adopting a Scandinavian style monarchy - and pointed to the example of Sweden. "Other Scandinavian monarchs have some official duties, but the King of Sweden does not even open Parliament," he said.

"What is the sense in that? It would be far better to have a republic than a decapitated monarch." Prince Charles himself is on record as saying the royal family should be streamlined.

He does not see eye to eye with his mother on the subject.

Another royal expert, Judy Wade, said: "The Queen likes the status quo. She believes the monarchy draws countries and people together and is determined not to lose her say."

Name: Daily Mirror Date: 5/12/94 Author: Exclusive from Gerard Evans in Los Angeles
Di's tears and a cuddle for Starsky wife

PRINCESS Diana wept as she cradled tragic AIDS victim Elizabeth Glaser during a secret visit to the Starsky actor's wife.

Di is an old friend of the woman infected with the HIV virus through a blood transfusion while giving birth 13 years ago. Daughter Ariel developed the disease and died aged seven. Son Jake is also carrying the virus. Father Paul, co-star of cop series Starsky and Hutch, is the only member of the family to escape.

News of Di's visit to the Glasers in America last summer came yesterday, after Elizabeth, 47, lost her long fight for life.

The princess, seeking respite from her own problems, was on holiday in Martha's Vineyard, Massachusetts.

The Glasers were there too as Elizabeth made a last visit to the place they had taken their children as babies, and where daughter Ariel was buried.

Diana, who had met Elizabeth through AIDS charity work, was shocked to learn she had lost 30lbs and could hardly walk.

She listened tearfully as Elizabeth æ who raised more than £20m for children with AIDS æ said she had instructed doctors not in prolong her life if she slipped into a coma. A family friend said: "When it was time for Diana to leave, she impulsively reached out an cuddled Elizabeth for several minutes.

"She was deeply moved by her bravery and the way she did not fear death."

Elizabeth, once a teacher, died on Saturday surrounded by her family and stars such as Dustin Hoffman and Jane Fonda.

President Clinton called her "an inspiration". Diana may attend a memorial service in a fortnight's time.

Name: Daily Mirror Author: Don Mackay Date: 5/12/94
God is a Mother in Bible rethink

AN UNHOLY row broke out yesterday over a new politically-correct Bible.

God the Father has become our Father-Mother in Heaven. Jesus is no longer the Son of Man but the Human One.

Any references to women's servitude to men have been scrapped.

So, too, have lines equating darkness with evil, in case they could be classed as racist.

In Thessalonians, the "Jews who killed both the Lord Jesus and the prophets" has been altered to "those who killed."

Remarks about disabled people are also taboo.

Even God's "right hand" has become "mighty hand" in the new Good Book, published by the Oxford University Press but aimed at the politically sensitive American market. Nonsense

The publishers, who are said to be considering a British launch, too, claim to have removed "oppression" from the Bible.

But retired canon of Oxford's Christ Church John Fletcher - who was on the OUP's advice panel - said: "It's nonsense.

"This Mother-Father thing is mad."

And the Church of England is sticking by its authorised versions of the King James and the New English bibles.

Spokesman Steven Jenkins said yesterday: "The Synod debated possible changes in the Bible last July and decided to stand by its traditional terms of references for God.

"But the reading of the Bible, and which one, is a personal thing."

Name: Daily Mirror Date: 5/12/94
Tory rebels who could kill off tax on the old Author: David Bradshaw

THE Tory Party's dozen VAT rebels look set to pull the plug on John Major's government in tomorrow's Commons showdown over fuel tax.

Britain's old and cold are praying they will keep their nerve and refuse to vote to put up the tax from 8 to 17.5 percent from April.

And if they do, Mr Major's wafer-thin majority of 14 will be wiped out.

The defiant dozen - Andrew Bowden, Richard Body, Rhodes Boyson, Michael Carttiss, Phil Gallie, Christopher Gill, Paul Marland, Tony Marlow, William Powell, Richard Shepherd, Ann Winterton and Nicholas Winterton - have all indicated that they will not toe the party line.

Last night, in a desperate bid to head off the revolt, Tory chiefs appealed to them to abstain rather than vote against because each Opposition vote knocks two off the Tory majority. Protest

But the Government position has been undermined by its recent decision to withdraw the party whip from eight Euro-rebels.

They now have no control over the eight and Sir Richard Body who resigned the whip in protest over their treatment.

Sir Richard along with Carttiss, Shepherd, Gill and Marlow are poised to rebel again without fear of disciplinary action.

Former Tory chairman Kenneth Baker yesterday branded Mr Major's treatment of the rebels as "crass stupidity."

Labour Treasury spokesman Dawn Primarolo urged the rebels to stand firm against the pressure.

She said: "We will be reminding MPs their voters are watching them."

Nicholas Winterton and Richard Shepherd have already indicated they will vote with Labour to inflict double damage on Mr Major.

With Sir Nicholas Fairbairn too ill to vote, the Government's majority will be reduced to 13 tomorrow. Tory whips know that it would only need three more rebels to join them in backing Labour and four abstenstions for the Government to lose.

A defeat on Tuesday would re-open the VAT issue and mean the Commons would have to stage a full-scale debate on whether to confirm the second stage of the rise.

Last night there was more bad news for Mr Major as the rebel army increased in numbers. Vital

Ann Winterton refused to say whether she will join her husband in voting against VAT but added: "I shall not be supporting the Government."

Michael Carttiss said he had received overwhelming backing from his constituents over his stand on Europe. He added: "They have urged me it is even more important to stop VAT going up."

Name: Daily Mirror Date: 12/12/94
WE'VE WON £18M Author: Exclusive by Jon Lingoed-Thomas

ONE jubilant young family were sitting on an £18 million secret last night - as all Britain waited to learn who they are.

The working couple - described as Mr and Mrs Average - were officially told yesterday: "Yes, you've won the National Lottery jackpot."

The winners, who have children, held the single ticket that scooped the giant pool for Britain's biggest payout. But instead of turning Cartwheels they were "as cool as cucumbers." A lottery insider said: "They are not very well-off, but not poor."

Name: Daily Mirror Date: 12/12/94
Top soccer boss quits in secret payout sensation Author: Exclusive by Harry Harris

TOP soccer boss George Graham has resigned over a secret £285,000 payment he received following a transfer.

Arsenal manager Graham handed his resignation letter to the Highbury board last month.

The disclosure comes as the Inland Revenue announced it is investigating a £285,000 payment to Graham following John Jensen's transfer from Danish club Brondby to Arsenal. Graham paid the money back after he discovered it was not a gift and should have been declared on his tax returns.

The Arsenal board and Graham had agreed to keep the resignation quiet until the end of the season.

Name: Daily Mirror Date: 12/12/94
NON, SAYS DELORS

HOT favourite Jacques Delors, the outgoing European Commission chief stunned France yesterday by announcing he would not run for the Presidency next year.

Name: Daily Mirror
Russia marches in to smash rebellion Date: 12/12/94

RUSSIA yesterday poured tanks and troops into Chechenya to end the rebel territory's three-year unilateral drive for independence.

Chechen leader Dzhokhar Dudayev warned Moscow its action would cast a "bloody blanket" across the entire Caucasus.

Russian forces were last night moving towards the capital Grozny in three thrusts though a spokesman in Moscow emphasised troops would not try to take Grozny itself.

The mainly-Moslem territory of one million people has been a thorn in the side of Russia for 200 years. Russian president Boris Yeltsin undertook the action against the advice of allies as well as foes who have warned him it could trap his forces in a bloody "Afghanistan on home soil."

One convoy was blocked for a time by women sitting defiantly in the road.

Name: Daily Mirror Date: 12/12/94
Cabinet in Euro poll crisis

John Major was plunged into conflict with his Cabinet last night over a referendum on Europe.

Mr Major has been hinting for weeks that he might opt for a referndum. But yesterday right winger Michael Portillo spoke out against putting the issue to the people, and Chancellor Kenneth Clarke and Trade President Michael Heseltine are working behind the scenes to hold Mr Major back.

Yet Party Chairman Jeremy Hanley yesterday said: "The Prime Minister enjoys the confidence of his cabinet," said Mr Hanley.

Name: Daily Mirror Date: 12/12/94 Author: Jeff Edwards, Crime Correspondent
LOVE TANGLE CLUE TO SCIENTIST'S MURDER Inspector Morse cops probe 'grudge' hit

THE tangled love life of a murdered Oxford scientist was being investigated by detectives last night.

Pony-tailed Dr Michael Meenaghan, 35 was shot dead through the kitchen window of his home as he made a cup of tea.

The researcher at Oxford University's Sir William Dunn School of Pathology was hit by a single shotgun blast to the chest.

Detectives believe the easy-going bachelor had a string of woman friends- and may have been killed by an angry husband.

Murder squad officers in the city featured in the Inspector Morse TV series were examining letters and diaries at the victim's terrace home on the Blackbird Leys estate.

Dr Meenaghan, an expert in DNA profiling - the crime-busting Science of genetic fingerprinting - had recently stepped up security at the house. Locked

Friends have told police he had made his telephone ex-directory, kept his doors locked at all times and the curtains drawn.

One officer said: 'This is like an episode from Inspector Morse.

"The victim was single but we believe he had several lady friends.

"It is possible that it was something in the background of one of those relationships that caused his death.

"We don't think he was linked with any criminals or involved in any secret wrong doing."

Police have not ruled out the possibility of a contract killing by a hitman.

The gunman struck late on Saturday afternoon.

He crept along an alley beside Dr Meenaghan's home and blasted him through the kitchen window from about six feet.

As Dr Meenaghan fell dying he managed to dial 999.

But an operator could only hear him gasping and choking before the line went silent.

Police found all the doors of the house securely looked.

Neighbours, who knew Dr Meenaghan as "Spike," claimed the woman he lived with left last Easter and another woman and her young son moved in.

Val Dorgan said: "The couple were kissing and cuddling about the place until she moved out a few weeks later." Another neighbour, 62 year-old Mrs Barbara Andrews, said: "He was such a quiet young man. He kept to himself.

"He lived alone with his black and white kitten." Work

One university colleague recalled: "Mike spent some of his time lecturing but most of his work was focused on special research projects."

Tim Beesley, a fellow academic at the School of Pathology, said: "Spike was quite a character and well liked in the department. He was originally from Glasgow."

Detective Superintendent John Bound said: "We don't know who killed him or why. It is possible this was contract killing."

Name: Daily Mirror Date: 12/12/94 Cop who hit baby threat yob faces sack

A POLICE firearms officer is facing the sack after assaulting a thug who threatened to throw his baby out of a train.

Pc Richard Ring - who has protected Princess Di and John Major - lashed out at the burly six-footer on an train.

The officer and his wife Tina were travelling home with seven-year-old son Michael and eight-week-old daughter Jessica.

Dave Hobbs, 19, travelling in the same carriage, spotted King cradling his baby in his arms and snarled: "Pass us your baby - I'll throw her out the f*****g window." Let off

Off-duty King - who has eight years unblemished Service - punched Hobbs on the chin with his right fist while still cradling Jessica with his other arm. He then revealed he was a police officer and arrested him for threatening behaviour.

Hobbs was later let off with a warning about his bad language. Meanwhile Pc King, 30, found himself facing a top level internal investigation.

A City police spokesman said: "An officer has been summonsed for common assault and is to appear at Southend on December 20."

The incident happened last June after a family picnic on Southend beach.

Name: Today Date: 5/12/94
YOU'RE NICKED

HOME Secretary Michael Howard was plunged into a new political crisis yesterday as the full extent of his knowledge of the "lobster takeaway" jail scandal was revealed.

Mr Howard denied any special soft treatment for high security inmates after five IRA terrorists shot their way out of Whitemoor prison last September.

Yet six months earlier he supported the very same regime in a letter to a fellow MP.

Right-wing Tory Lady Olga Maitland had visited the prison and seen the slap-up lifestyle for herself. The revelation yesterday that Mr Howard knew all along provoked fury among Labour MPs and prison officers - and renewed calls for Mr Howard to quit the Cabinet.

Labour's prison affairs spokesman George Howarth said: "Mr Howard's grip on his responsibility now seems to be Caught out.. how Howard defended life of luxury at breakout jail TORY MP WROTE TO HOWARD ABOUT LUXURY JAIL 'I told Mr Howard that it was all wrong'

increasingly untenable. The Home Secretary appears to acknowledge that there were serious security difficulties.

But he was unwilling to take responsibility for doing anything about it."

The latest blow to Mr Howard's reputation came hours before yet another deep embarrassment for him: The news of a gun found in Strangeways jail, Manchester. The Home Secretary's two-faced approach to Whitemoor was revealed by Lady Olga.

After visiting the Cambridgeshire jail last New Year's Day, she wrote to him, protesting that prisoners wore their own clothes and made international phone calls - and warders went shopping for them.

On March 21, the Home Secretary replied: "The surroundings were designed to compensate to some extent for the regime."

But after the breakout, he was saying publicly: "It is quite wrong to suggest that there was a policy of treating IRA prisoners any differently from other prisoners.

"I do not for one moment accept there is anything remotely resembling appeasement." Explosive

Later in the month of the breakout, a new scandal struck Whitemoor: 21b of Semtex explosive had been smuggled into the jail.

Lady Olga said last night: "It was more like a hotel. Warders were being sent out to run errands for people who were often very rich successful criminals.

"I felt this was very wrong. That's what I said in my letter to Michael Howard."

Prison Officers Association executive member Andy Gossage said: "I am quite surprised. If Michael Howard knew this was going on, why he should condone it."

The latest twist to the Whitemoor scandal puts Prison Service director general Derek Lewis in the dock beside Mr Howard because of his close association with prisons policy.

Both Prison Service and Home Office refused to comment last night.

They said they were waiting for the report of Sir John Woodcock's inquiry into the Whitemoor affair.

Name: Today Date: 5/12/94
Viewers stunned by Spike jibe at Charles Author: Pauline Wallin

COMIC Spike Milligan shocked millions of viewers by calling Prince Charles a "little grovelling bastard" on live TV last night.

The Goon Show star, 76, was receiving a lifetime achievement honour at the British Comedy Awards.

He chipped in with his amazing remark as presenter Jonathan Ross read out a tribute from Charles which said: "I've been a fan of the Goon Show since the earliest days of steam radio, especially Spike Milligan."

Although Charles would have seen the funny side, Jonathan looked stunned.

Last year's awards were rocked by gay comic Julian Clary who made an obscene comment about ex-chancellor Norman Lamont.

Spike also refused to 'I'll TAKE AWARD AS GOLDEN HANDSHAKE'

thank TV bosses for his award after claiming he had been shunned for 10 years.

He said: "I did it all on my own. I'll take this award as a golden handshake." Earlier, Steve Coogan became Britain's hottest comedy star - two years after almost wrecking his career with drugs. Steve, the slimy chat show host Alan Partridge, was voted Top Comedy Personality and Best Male Comedy Performer.

His BBC2 send-up of TV sofa shows - Knowing Me, Knowing You with Alan Partridge - won Best New TV Comedy.

Steve, 28, filming in Los Angeles last night, revealed he landed in hospital after trying cocaine for the first time two years ago. "It was the worst experience of my life. I thought I was going to die," he said.

House Party host Noel Edmonds was named Top BBC Entertainment Presenter and Tracey Ullman Top Female Comedy Performer. Brenda Blethyn won Top TV Comedy Actress for the sitcom Outside Edge which was named Best Television Comedy Drama.

Sci-fi comedy Red Dwarf Vl was best BBC sitcom with Time After Time ITV's top show and Drop The Dead Donkey the best on Channel 4.

Name: Today Date: 5/12/94
Clinton snubs Major for Bosnia crisis summit All-out war fear for Brit troops

JOHN Major suffered a huge political snub last night as Bill Clinton refused to meet him over the fate of British troops in Bosnia.

The blow, at an international defence meeting in Budapest, plunged the so-called "special relationship" between Britain and America to a new low.

British officials who tried to fix up a meeting admitted last night that the best Mr Major can hope for is a chat if he bumps into Mr Clinton. "They may meet in the corridor and have time for a brief chat but there will be no formal meeting," said a spokesman.

The US president has only a few hours in Hungary but is thought to want to set a meeting with Russian premier Boris Yeltsin instead.

One angry British official said: "He seems to be able to find time for Yeltsin - but not for us."

The insult comes as the crisis in Bosnia deepens with the lives of 2,500 British troops on the ground at risk.

Foreign Secretary Douglas Hurd and his French counterpart Alain Juppe flew out to Belgrade last night for emergency talks with Serbian president Slobodan Milosevic. Bloodbath

And Defence Secretary Malcolm Rifkind was in Croatia today for a crisis meeting with British UN commander Sir Michael Rose.

And as Britain and America appear increasingly at odds, Lieutenant-General Rose pleaded for a solution to the mounting conflict.

"There is a pressing need for political action and a resolution of the problem," he said.

Britain and France fear a bloodbath risking their troops' lives while Mr Clinton faces Senate pressure to lift the arms embargo on the Bosnian Moslems.

Mr Hurd warned at the weekend that British forces will have to be pulled out before any lifting of the arms embargo. He said it was only a matter of "weeks" before action had to be taken.

Last night, 20 British troops were released near Gorazde after being held by Serbs.

But up to 400 United Nations troops are still being detained by the Serb forces.

As Mr Major fumes over his snub from Mr Clinton's he learned the President may make time in his schedule to meet Gerry Adams.

The Sinn Fein President is due in Washington on Wednesday .

Name: Today Date: 5/12/94
VAT rebels put vote on knife-edge

JOHN Major is facing a humiliating defeat in the Commons tomorrow over VAT on fuel.

He is under enormous pressure to avert disaster and restore the whip to the eight Tories who defied him last week over the Europe.

Former party chairman Kenneth Baker accused the Premier of "crass stupidity" by taking away the whip from the rebels.

He had transformed a majority government into a minority without losing any seats, said Mr Baker. Backbenchers Nicholas Winterton and Richard Shepherd have both announced they will defy the whips and oppose the increase of VAT from eight per cent to 17.5 on Tuesday.

A total of 10 could either march through the division lobbies or abstain.

Social Security Secretary Peter Lilley said: "We want these people to work their way back into the party and take the whip again and get over that division."

Name: Today Date: 5/12/94
Labour hits back over attack on monarchy Author: Russell Jenkins

A ROW erupted yesterday over that Labour wants to "strip the Queen of her political powers".

The party accused a Sunday newspaper of "concocting" a story over their proposals.

And Shadow Home Secretary Jack Straw made it clear yesterday that neither he nor his leader Tony Blair stand for the abolition of Monarchy. But he was unrepentant for raising the issue - to be screened on BBC's Panorama tonight.

He confirmed that Labour want Queen to head a Scandinavian style Royal Household.

Mr Straw talks in the TV interview of a "monarchy symbolising a much more classless society, someone who is above the political battle, than has been the case hitherto". He also criticises Prince Charles for being "too strident" in his views on political issues.

Tory ministers claimed that Labour is out to "devalue" the Queen to appease their own leftwing activists. And senior Tories claimed the plan will be a vote loser.

Trade President Michael Heseltine said: "They have said they will banish the House of Lords. Now they are turning their fire on the monarchy. They have a vision of Britain as a banana republic with some worn-out political figure at its head."

Name: Today Date: 5/12/94
PC BIBLE 'IS AN INSULT'

AN UNHOLY row has blown up over the first politically-correct version of the Bible. The new-look Good Book has cut out references which could offend women, Jews, black people, the disabled and left-handed.

Church leaders say it ''crucifies" Christianity. The new Bible, produced by Oxford University Press, calls God the Father-Mother and Jesus the Human One. General Synod member Rev John Broadhurst said: ''The Bible has been received from the past and only nutcases would be offended by it."

OUP spokesman Andrew Potter said the Bible was being published in America and they were waiting for reaction before deciding if there is a market in Britain.

Name: Today Date: 5/12/94
Tributes pour in as AIDS kills Starsky's brave wife Crusade changed America's attitude

PRESIDENT Clinton yesterday led America in tribute to Aids victim Elizabeth Glaser, wife of Starsky And Hutch star Paul Michael Glaser.

Elizabeth, 47, died on America's National Aids Day, prompting up to 7,000 people to join a candle-lit procession in her memory on the streets of Pasadena, California.

She died at home in nearby Santa Monica after slipping in and out of a coma for days.

Her heartbreaking crusade, which inspired Princess Diana, changed America's attitude to the disease.

Diana kept in touch with Elizabeth by phone and sent her own tribute when she heard of her death.

Husband Paul Michael and nine-year-old son Jake, who is HIV positive, were with her at the end.

Their seven-year-old daughter Ariel died of Aids six years ago. Confronted

President Clinton said Elizabeth was an inspiration to millions and "awakened" America to Aids.

"Elizabeth confronted the challenge of Aids and lost her daughter to the disease at a time when our government and country were indifferent to this illness and those who had it,'' he said.

Elizabeth was unknowingly infected with the virus by a blood transfusion 13 years ago after suffering a haemorrhage when she was pregnant with Ariel.

It was not known then that the virus could be passed through transfusions.

Elizabeth then innocently passed it to Jake while breast-feeding. She revealed her family's dreadful dilemma five years ago when friends started deserting her as word spread that Ariel had died of Aids.

She told her story in a speech televised live from the 1992 Democratic convention.

"I am here tonight because my son and I may not survive another four years of leaders who say they care but do nothing," she said.

Her public revelation and courage shocked Americans, and much of the rest of the world. into realising that Aids was not just a "gay plague".

At that time the illness was seen as a disease contracted through sex and those who had it were suspected of promiscuity.

Name: Today Date: 12/12/94 Author: Exclusive by Alex Montgomery in Oslo, Norway and Jim Murray
YES, I FEEL GUILTY Football transfer Mr Fixit tells of his role in deals

THE Mr Fixit at the centre of the transfer bung allegations which have rocked football told TODAY last night: "There are times when I feel guilty."

But Rune Hauge vowed to fight claims over his role in deals which took several Scandinavian stars to top English clubs.

His comments came as Arsenal boss George Graham defended himself against allegations that he took a £285,000 secret bung in the transfer of John Jensen to Highbury from Danish club Brondby.

Graham insisted: "I have nothing to hide. I have never profited from any transfer." Pressure

Hauge was the man-in-the-middle of the Jensen transfer, as well as that which took full-back Paal Lydersen to Arsenal from Norway's IK Start. TODAY was the first paper to reveal the full extent of an Inland Revenue investigations into Hauge's dealings.

Now we have secured copies of two documents, which prove £310,000 of Lydersen's £500,000 transfer was paid to the agent.

Hauge is under pressure from both the police and tax authorities in his native Norway to reveal the workings of his company, InterClub Limited, based on the tax haven Channel island of Guernsey.

He has refused to name names, despite claims that money from high transfer fees had been filtered to individuals at Premier League clubs. But Hauge, 40, admitted: "I feel the pressure. The thing I am doing is not illegal. Do I feel like a criminal?

"But they have to blame someone and there are times when I feel guilty.

"The clubs and the players have to trust that what they say to me is private.

If I talk then I have used their trust and lost it. "Because of that I cannot defend myself.

"What I have is all the information when a deal is being called for.

"It is for me to sort out the contracts and where the money is placed. My company was set up to win security for the players and for myself"

TODAY has secured copies of two documents showing Hauge received £310,000 of the £500,000 Lydersen transfer fee.

One, written in English, confirms Arsenal paid IK Start £500,000 for Lydersen's services and is dated November 6, 1991.

But a second document in Norwegian, confirms an agreement that IK Start should pay £310,000 to Inter Club in Guernsey.

Start also had to pay Lydersen £25,000, leaving them with just £165,000 from a deal with a recorded fee of £500,000. Deal

Hauge is believed to have been involved in the transfers of seven of Norway's top players to English clubs.

Erik Thorstvedt left Stavanger to join Spurs in December, 1988 for £400,000. England coach Terry Venables was manager of Spurs at the time.

In November 1989, defender Erland Johnsen left Bayern Munich for Bobby Campbell's Chelsea in a £300,000 deal. Blackburn manager Kenny Dalglish signed Henning Berg for £400,000 two years ago.

Also in 1992, Stig Inge Bjornebye went to Liverpool for a £600,000 fee when the Merseyside club was managed by Graeme Sounness. Leeds boss Howard Wilkinson spent £250,000 for Frank Strandli in January, 1993.

That same month, Manchester City manager Peter Reid captured midfielder Kare Ingebrigtsen for £600,000.

Gunnar Halle left Oslo in February, 1991, to join Oldham then managed by Joe Royle-for £280,000.

Oldham chairman Ian Stott said his club did not pay Hauge anything.

Mr Stott said: "Mr Hauge came to my home and I made it clear we don't pay agents. Any money we paid was made straight to the club involved."

Name: Today Date: 12/12/94 Author: Caroline Peal
Last desperate call of hitman's victim Shot by a bullet through window

HORRIFIED phone operators heard a romeo Oxford University lecturer dying after he was gunned down in his kitchen.

Pathologist Michael Meenaghan desperately dialled 999 after being hit in the chest by a single bullet fired thrash the. Operators could only hear the pony-tailed bachelor struggling for breath as the phone crashed to the floor.

Last night police sealed off the house on Oxford's notorious Blackbird Leys estate.

And detectives were examining a pile of letters which suggested Dr Meenaghan had a series of girlfriends.

But they refused to confirm reports that it had been a contract killing. Security

Dr Meenaghan, 35, was an expert in DNA profiling the science of genetic fingerprinting used by police to trap rapists and murderers.

Recently he had stepped up security at his home, always ensuring his curtains were closed and his doors were locked.

He also had his phone number made ex-directory.

Neighbour Barbara Andrews, 62, said: "He was such an unassuming man.

"He always kept himself to himself and never had much to do with anybody apart from saying 'Hello'.

"I've seen him with at least two women. One was tall and dark and very pretty, and lived with him up until about a year ago.

"More recently he was seeing a woman with a child, a little boy aged about three."

Another neighbour Henry Sherriff heard the shooting.

He said: "I heard a loud bang come from his house on Saturday afternoon.

"I thought it was a car backfiring. It didn't strike me that it was a gun.

"The next thing I heard a police helicopter and then an ambulance arrive."

Christina Sherriff added: "This is such a quiet close. It shocked us all that something like this could happen here. I didn't sleep a wink last night."

Name: Today Date: 12/12/94
Russian tanks move into rebel state Chechens 'will fight to death'

HUNDREDS of Russian tanks poured into the breakaway region of Chechnya yesterday.

President Boris Yeltsin ordered his forces to crush a three-year struggle for independence.

Columns of armoured vehicles and troop trucks crossed the border from neighbouring states to the north, east and west.

Last night they were converging on the capital, Grozny, as defiant Chechens declared they would fight to the death.

Four people were reported to have been killed in two brief clashes.

President Dzhokhar Dudayev, a former Soviet air force general who proclaimed sovereignty from Russia in 1991, said: "We will defend ourselves."

His foreign minister, Shamsedin Yusel, added: "They cannot kill every Chechen.

"There are more than one million of us and every one of us will fight." A Russian government spokesman said troops had been sent to "restore constitutional order".

Yeltsin is gambling that Dudayev' s regime will crumble in the face of military might.

But there were fears in Moscow that Russia could become involved in a costly war of attrition, similar to its disastrous invasion of Afghanistan. Clashes

Chechnya, which has a mainly Moslem population of 1.2 million, is an oil-rich territory in the Caucasus mountains of southern Russia.

It is an important transit point for energy supplies from the Caspian Sea.

Dozens of people have been killed or wounded in recent clashes between Dudayev's troops and Kremlin-back opposition forces.

Name: Daily Star Author: Nigel Pauley Date: 5/12/94
Charles is a grovelling b*****d

ZANY comic Spike Milligan shocked millions of TV viewers last night by calling Prince Charles a "little grovelling bastard."

A star-studded crowd at the British Comedy Awards was stunned by the 76-year-old funnyman's joke.

Switchboards at ITV companies were jammed by viewers phoning to complain.

The ex-Goon received a standing ovation as he went up to receive a special lifetime achievement award from Jonathan Ross on the live show.

Ross said: "We have received this letter from His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales.

"It reads, 'As someone who grew up listening to the sounds of the Goon Show on steam-driven wireless I must confess I have been a lifelong fan of the participants and, in particular, Spike Milligan..."

Then Spike cut in to comment: "Little grovelling bastard."

The audience of comics - including Rory Bremner and Jo Brand - burst out laughing.

A London Weekend Television spokeswoman said: "It was just a flippant joking remark."

Name: Daily Star
Orf with his head Fury at Straw bid to rob Queen of power Date: 5/12/94

LABOUR lifted the pressure off the bickering Tories yesterday by plunging itself into a right royal row.

Home Affairs spokesman Jack Straw sparked outrage by declaring that the Queen should be stripped of her power.

He also hinted that the Queen Mother should be dumped from the official royal list and he wants to cut the number performing royal duties to be cut to only five or six.

Labour's changes could slash the size of the Royal Family from the present 40 - entitled to be called His or Her Royal Highness - to 20.

Mr Straw says: "If we have a monarchy with a more limited role...then you don't need the current quite substantial number of members of the Royal Family performing official duties.

"It could probably be around about five or six."

In a Panorama programme to be broadcast tonight, Mr Straw calls for the role of the monarchy to be "redefined".

He says: "The monarchy is caught at a crossroad between whether it continues at the apex of a very hierarchical class system in our society, or whether it moves over to be a symbol, a figurehead, of a much more classless society." Social Security minister Peter Lilley accused Labour of trying to appease the party's left-wingers.

And constitutional expert Harold Brooks-Baker, publishing director of Burke's Peerage, said: "Labour leaders like Jack Straw should have the courage to say they want to have a republic. " Powers

Michael Heseltine, President of the Board of Trade, said Labour had descended to "undermining the very fabric of our political constitution".

The Queen, as head of the state, the armed forces, the Church of England and of the Government has, in theory, enormous powers.

But in practice, these are restricted mainly to advisory and ceremonial roles.

The Sovereign's role involves summoning, suspending and dissolving Parliament and giving Royal Assent to Bills passed by Parliament. She also appoints important office-holders - such as ministers, judges, bishops and governors - and confers peerages, knighthoods and other honours.

The monarch appoints a prime minister - by convention the leader of the party that can secure a majority in the Commons.

It is a power that could become particularly important in the case of a hung Parliament. However, as the Queen hands the power to her ministers and acts on their advice, in practice, the royal prerogative powers are exercised by Ministers.

Mr Straw wants the Queen to be stripped of her remaining constitutional power as Head of State.

And he argues for cuts in the Royal List, excluding even the Queen Mother.

Only the Queen, Prince Philip and the Queen Mother receive money at the taxpayers' expense.

Name: Daily Star Date: 5/12/94
Baker accuses Major of stupidity

JOHN Major was under intense pressure last night to reinstate Tory Euro rebels before tomorrow's crunch vote on fuel VAT.

Former Tory chairman Kenneth Baker blasted the Prime Minister for an act of "crass stupidity".

He rapped his decision to remove the whip from eight MPs who voted against the Euro-cash bill last week.

In an astonishing attack on Mr Major, he said it was not the true Tory way to handle rebels.

He said: "The Government should never have got into the cul-de-sac. To remove the whip was an act of crass stupidity." United

Meanwhile, Social Security Minister Peter Lilley seemed to hold out an olive branch to the rebels in a bid to calm the growing crisis.

He said the Prime Minister was right to sack them, but added: "We all want these people to work their way back into the party and take the whip again.

"We want to go united into the next election."

Senior Tories are increasingly worried that they could lose tomorrow's Commons vote.

Labour say up to 20 Tories could defy the Government either by voting against VAT on fuel or by abstaining.

Ulster Unionists' votes saved Mr Major from calling an election last week.

But they say they will not vote with the Government this time.

Name: Daily Star Date: 5/12/94
PRINCESS CONSOLES STARSKY OVER WIFE

PRINCESS Diana telephoned Starksy and Hutch star Paul Michael Glaser to console him after the death of his wife, AIDS crusader Elizabeth.

Elizabeth, 47, died 13 years after contracting the HIV virus from a transfusion of tainted blood. She slipped into a coma last week.

AIDS has already cost the life of their daughter Ariel, who died eight years ago aged seven. Their son Jake, 10, has also tested HIV positive.

Both children are believed to have got the virus while breast-feeding from Elizabeth.

Last night a family friend said of Princess Di's concern: "She called Elizabeth three years ago when she learned of her activist role and has been in touch ever since. Brave

"They became long-distance friends. Like all of us, she thought she was an extraordinarily brave woman."

President Bill Clinton, who visited Elizabeth in the autumn, called on the nation to "honour her memory by finishing the work to which she gave everything she had."

Name: Daily Star Date: 12/12/94 Author: Peter Allen
£17.9m Who's the Jack Pott who's won the Lott?

A mystery punter last night claimed Britain's biggest-ever jackpot after scooping almost £18 million on the Lottery.

All of the country was agog with excitement as people were eager to know the name of the lucky Jack Pott who will become one of the country's 500 richest people.

The winner waited more than 18 nail-biting hours before calling the Liverpool hotline to claim the mind-blowing £17,880,003.

Just after 4pm yesterday a Camelot spokesman said: We now have a jackpot winner. The winner is not a member of a syndicate." Fortune

The lucky punter was thought to have been whisked away to a top secret hotel for his own protection, to be advised by Camelot representatives and decide whether to go public about the windfall.

The fortune is estimated to earn over £5,000 a day in interest alone.

The previous highest lottery win of £1.7 million was shared by eight people. But this week 685,753 winners shared a £34,568,762 pool, with ten people each scooping £337,664.

Camelot boss David Rigg said: "It must be one of the largest Christmas presents in history."

Name: Daily Star Date: 12/12/94 Author: Robert Gibson
MAJOR FACES NEW REBELLION PM feels strain

REBELS were last night plotting to humiliate Premier John Major with another week of turmoil.

They want a referendum on Europe and plan to attack the Budget decision to axe mortgage aid for people who lose their jobs.

Mr Major, who has just been through his worst week in politics, faces further defeats at their hands. Last night there were grim reports of Cabinet splits, new plots and a public backlash against the PM.

Senior Cabinet Ministers are arguing over whether there should be a referendum on Britain's future in Europe to try to bring peace in the Tory party.

And they are also split over how quickly the Tory dissidents should be allowed back into the party.

Mr Major also faces a landslide Labour victory in the Dudley West by-election, where the Tories have a 5,000 majority. And polls show the Tories behind Labour by a record 40 points, with voters saying they want an early election to ditch the Government.

Yesterday the Tory party's right-wing darling - Employment Secretary Michael Portillo went public to ask whether there should be a referendum on Europe.

While Chancellor Ken Clarke is strongly opposed to a referendum, Trade Secretary Michael Heseltine could be ready to switch.

His close aide, MP Keith Hampson, said a referendum was "inevitable".

He added: "I have changed my position, it sounds as though some members of the Cabinet have modified the position they were taking six months ago."

Foreign Secretary Douglas Hurd has already indicated that he would back a referendum if necessary.

Mr Portillo refused to say on TV's Breakfast with Frost whether the PM was right to ditch the rebel MPs.

Name: Daily Star Date: 12/12/94
RUSSKIE TANKS BLITZ

RUSSIAN Army tanks were sent in last night to crush a rebellion in a breakaway region of the former Soviet empire.

A bloodbath was feared as three columns of armoured vehicles, paratroopers and infantry advanced on Grozny, capital of Chechnya which declared independence three years ago.

Two brief clashes were reported and four people were feared dead.

Volunteers from nearby mountain villages streamed into Grozny, vowing to defend their homeland.

Hundreds of protesters and politicians normally supportive of President Boris Yeltsin gathered in Moscow to demand a halt to the invasion.

Chechnya, a mainly Moslem territory of about one million, is an important oil-refining centre in the Caucasus.

Name: Daily Star Date: 12/12/94 Author: Gordon Wilkinson
HANNA'S POEM IS A REAL GAS Girl, 7, pens ode to beans

BEANZ Meanz Lines for budding young poet Hanna Dunhill.

The cheeky seven-year-old put the wind up her mum when she penned a verse about flatulence.

Proud Linda Dunhill turned up to hear Hanna's ode read aloud at a ceremony to launch a children's poetry book.

But the red-faced mum did not know the poem was called The World's Best Pumper.

"I was horrified," said mother-of-three Linda, from Redcar, Cleveland. "But my surprise quickly gave way to laughter.

"All the other people there were having a good giggle so I didn't have the heart to tick Hanna off."

The little girl's poem was selected from 600 entries to Cleveland Schools annual poetry book - called this year Running Like The Clappers. Instead of the usual topic like the weather or the environment, Hanna took it upon herself to compose a poem about flatulence - printed on the right.

Mum Linda, 33, added: "Hanna doesn't eat a lot of beans so I've no idea how she knows they're supposed to cause flatulence.

"Breaking wind is not something we talk about much at home." Laugh

Blue-eyed blonde Hanna, who wrote the poem when she was in Year 3 at Riverdale Primary School, Redcar, said: "I like beans, and it gave me the idea.

"I haven't written anything since. But now I might try to get a poem in next year's book."

But poetry competition judge, Maggie Magee, said: "Hanna's poem was like a breath of fresh air.

"We're very impressed that she chose such a novel subject. It gave us all a good laugh and proves you don't have to be an old fart to write poetry."

Cleveland teacher Margaret Surtees said: "Word has spread all over about Hanna's poem and the children are turning to it as soon as the books reach their schools." The World's Best Pumper

"Beans, beans are good for your heart,

the more you eat, the more you fart,

I went to the posh restaurant

and asked for some beans

and when we got home

I was in the bath tub

and I pumped - Brrr blob!

I have beans for breakfast,

Beans for lunch,

Beans for tea and beans for supper

- Brrr blob!"

By Hanna Dunhill, aged 7.

Name: Daily Star Date: 12/12/94 Author: Chris McCashin
HITMAN WIPES OUT MORSE DOC Love-letters riddle as expert is killed

A BRILLIANT genetic fingerprinting pioneer has been gunned down by a hitman.

BT operators heard Dr Michael Meenaghan's dying groans when he dialled 999 after being blasted in the chest with a shotgun.

Police also revealed last night they had found a bundle of love letters from different women in his home in Oxford and were probing the doctor's Romeo past. Security

The murder - as the 35-year-old pony-tailed pathology researcher was making a cup of tea in his kitchen-bears all the hallmarks of an Inspector Morse mystery.

Dr Meenaghan had stepped up security at his neat terrace home -

but detectives do not know if he had been threatened. The Glasgow-born doc had just removed his name from the> telephone book, had his curtains permanently closed to stop anyone looking in - and made sure his doors stayed locked.

But the killer crept up a side alley and smashed the kitchen window.

Neighbour Val Dorgan said: "Although Dr Meenaghan was very quiet and private he seemed to have a tangled love life. Incident

"His wife moved out at Easter and at the same time his girlfriend moved in with a little boy.

"She moved out a few weeks later."

And neighbour Danny McKinley, 32, added: "A few months before his wife moved out there was some sort of domestic incident between them and the police were called."

A detective on the case said: "It looks like some sort of contract killing."

The top Oxford University scientist was a leading expert in DNA profiling - the genetic fingerprinting technique that has helped cage hundreds of rapists and murderers.

His house was sealed off yesterday as forensic scientists combed it for clues.

A helicopter search of the area failed to spot the gunman and no weapon has been found.

Staff at Oxford's Sir William Dunn School of Clinical Pathology - which featured in the Inspector Morse TV series - were stunned by the slaying.

Colleagues described him as "a hard-working man who was dedicated to his profession and a real expert in DNA".

Det Supt Jon Bound said: "Dr Meenaghan had lived at the house for five years most recently alone, but we are still trying to establish his marital status and are interviewing colleagues and friends. Appeal

"We believe he was shot through the kitchen window, as a window pane was broken.

"It would appear that the gunman either shot him through the window - or smashed the window and pointed his gun through it."

A post mortem confirmed that he bled to death after being shot in the chest.

He was believed to have only one living relative, his elderly mother who is said to be in poor health.

She has been told of her son's death by police.

Det Supt Bound appealed for anyone with information to contact him at the incident room in Cowley Police Station, Oxford.

Name: Daily Star Date: 12/12/94 Author: Exclusive: Peter Bond
NOT ME MATE

SIX top soccer bosses were shaking in their boots last night following sensational allegations of "secret payments" to Arsenal's George Graham.

Inland Revenue investigators have been probing secret cash payments to Premier League club managers with a dossier of financial corruption about to blow the game wide open. Former Manchester United manager and Daily Star columnist Tommy Docherty said: "To my certain knowledge six senior football managers have been getting kickbacks for years.

"The sums involved are colossal - well in excess of £2m between them."

It's alleged that agents, acting for players on the transfer market, pay illegal "bungs" to managers from inflated fix-it fees.

Yesterday Graham, who has been accused of accepting a £285,000 under-the-counter payment, was blistering with rage. Denied

He vehemently denied pocketing the cash out of a 1992 deal that took Danish international John Jensen to Highbury.

The Arsenal boss thundered: "I have not profited from any transfers - and it's important that is made clear." But it has been alleged that he admitted to the tax authorities that he'd received the cash - although the money was subsequentlyrepaid to Arsenal.

Last year the Inland Revenue got wind of allegations about transfer back-handers.

In recent months, four Premier League clubs agreed to pay six-figure sums in back tax rather than face prosecution.

One, it was alleged, settled a £1m claim without argument - then the manager was sacked.

Graham could now face a heavy fine and a long suspension by the FA if the allegations are proven.

It's alleged the cash was given to Graham by soccer agent Rune Hauge a month after Jensen's £1.5m transfer. The FA have now launched their own investigation and Arsenal managing director Ken Friar said: "We will be co-operating with the inquiry."

Name: The Sun Date: 5/12/94 Author: Exclusive by Gordon Stott
LAST QUID WINS £1/4M Lottery joy for Frank after betting disaster

PUNTER Frank Clotworthy blew £40 at the bookies æ then spent his last quid on a National Lottery ticket and won £265,637.

Frank, 37, feared he would get an ear-bashing from his wife after losing he cash the had promised to take her out with.

As he strolled home from a Liverpool betting shop, he decided a lottery flutter could not land him in any worse trouble. He bought a ticket at a newsagents less than an hour before Saturday's deadline for entries. The father of three was at home phoning pals for a loan to treat wife Anne, 35, when the draw was made.

Scaffolder Frank was one of just eight punters who correctly picked five of the six main numbers 11, 17, 21, 29, 30 and 40 plus bonus number 31.

No one got all six numbers right æ so the £6.9 million jackpot will be carried over to this week and could reach £15 million.

A close friend said: "When Frank's numbers came up he was so excited he had to have a lie-down. Later he went out with his family to celebrate in local pubs."

The pal said: "He had been getting a bit of grief from his wife about gambling and agreed to take her out.

"But he lost the money he needed in bets on horses and soccer.

"Despite that, he had a flutter on the lottery and it was the best gamble he ever made." Dole

Cousin Pat Clotworthy, who lives near Frank in Kensington, Liverpool, said: "It couldn't have happened to a nicer bloke."

Frank told pals he intends to give up his job "so someone on the dole can have it."

The Liverpool soccer fan also intends to swap his terrace home for a bigger property.

Frank collects his cheque today from the Liverpool offices of lottery organisers Camelot.

Name: The Sun Date: 5/12/94 Author: Simon Walters
FURY AS BLAIR AIMS AXE AT ROYALS He'll 'fire' Queen Mum

FURIOUS Tories slammed Tony Blair last night after it was revealed that Labour plans to SACK half the Royal Family.

Shadow Home Secretary Jack Straw, one of the Labour leader's closest aides, signalled the monarchy and its powers and perks could be slashed if his party took power.

The number of official royals could drop to ''around five or six," he said. That would mean keeping the Queen, Prince Philip, Charles, Diana and their sons.

But it would almost certainly mean dumping the Queen Mum, Princess Anne, Prince Andrew and Prince Edward.

They would lose their right to Civil List pay-outs from taxpayers and have to earn a living.

Mr Straw who said he had Mr Blair's full backing, said Labour wanted "a more Scandinavian monarchy which symbolises a classless society.''

But Tory Trade supremo Michael Heseltine insisted his party would stick by the Royals.

He raged: "In its desperation to find new policy ground, Labour has descended to undermining the very fabric of our political constitution." Tory chairman Jeremy Hanley said: "The Crown symbolises the solidity and stability of the United Kingdom.

"Labour will play with the Monarchy at its peril."

Name: The Sun Date: 5/12/94
PM FACES DEFEAT OVER VAT

JOHN Major faces defeat tomorrow in the vote on doubling VAT on fuel to 17.5 per cent.

Up to a dozen Tory rebels, including the eight who voted against the Premier on more cash for Europe, have threatened to oppose the measure.

It will take only eight rebels to defeat the Government.

Tory sources say Chancellor Kenneth Clarke would have to find an extra £1billion if the measure was scrapped.

Name: The Sun Date: 5/12/94
Fury at 5-star Xmas in jail for evil lags Author: Mark Storey

CRIME victims hit out yesterday over plans to give thugs a five-star Christmas in jail.

Prisoners including killers and rapists, will feast on turkey and all the trimmings.

They will take part in sports tournaments and quizzes with cash prizes.

Inmates will be excused work and allowed all-day lie-ins.

And the luckiest lags will be given free tobacco and cash bonuses of up to £7 to spend on extra goodies. Distress

Protests over the perks were led by the pressure group Victim Support.

Spokeswoman Sarah Perman said: "Christmas is a time of great distress for victims of violent crime.

"Stories of a luxury Christmas in prison just make them feel worse."

But some jails are still planning up to FOUR days of festive fun. Treats include double-

sized bacon, and egg breakfasts, individual Christmas puddings and lavish teatime buffets. An officer at Bedford Jail said: "'Prisoners get fed up with eating. Some stay in bed all day."

At top-security Parkhurst on the Isle of Wight, a warder said cash were up for grabs for games winners.

Swansea deputy governor Tom Cook said: "There will be extra helpings of food, extra sports and free tobacco."

But bitter Anne West, mother of Moors Murder victim Lesley Ann Downey, said: "It makes me sick. We can never have a Christmas."

A Prison Service spokeswoman said: "Some prisoners do get small handouts. These things happen in prisons."

Name: The Sun
Comedy awards 'a joke' Date: 5/12/94 Author: PeterWillis

TELLY'S British Comedy Awards were branded a joke last night after Red Dwarf beat Absolutely Fabulous to a top prize.

The show which stars rape charge comic Craig Charles was voted best BBC sitcom even though Ab Fab has won prizes across the world.

Some top comedians snubbed the awards, branding them "out of touch."

Jim Davidson, who refused to present an award, added: "It's nothing to do with what people actually enjoy."

Funnyman Steve Coogan, star of spoof chat show Knowing Me, Knowing You, was the toast of the London awards with three gongs.

Michael Barrymore was top ITV entertainer and Noel Edmonds was the BBC's. Channel 4 winner was Chris Evans.

Name: The Sun Date: 5/12/94
STORM AS TRENDIES CENSOR THE BIBLE

CHURCH leaders yesterday blasted a politically-correct bible which calls God "Father-Mother" to avoid offending women.

The new book - rewritten to exclude any racist, sexist or "unfeeling" language - also calls Jesus "the Human One" instead of Son of Man.

References to the Jews crucifying Christ have been axed. And the expression "God's right hand" is changed to "God's mighty hand" to pacify left-handed folk.

The new Bible, produced in America by Oxford University Press, may be published in Britain next year.

Last night, Archdeacon of Oxford, the Venerable Frank Weston said: "One has to be sensitive, but extreme solutions of this kind are silly."

Name: The Sun Date: 12/12/94 Author: Exclusive by Rosie Dunn
COP FACES SACK FOR DEFENDING HIS BABY He thumps train yob

A DEDICATED cop faces the sack for clouting a foulmouthed yob who threatened to throw his baby daughter from a train window

PC Richard King, a firearms officer who has protected Princess Di and Premier John Major, was charged with assaulting 6ft Dave Hobbs.

He will appear in court just before Christmas. If found guilty, he will probably lose the career he loves. Burly Hobbs, 19 who now backs Richard has been let off with a police letter warning him about using bad language.

Richard, 30, was clutching eight-week-old Jessica when Hobbs said: "Pass us your baby - I'll throw her out the f*****g window."

The PC clipped Hobbs on the chin, then produced his warrant card PC FACES SACK

and arrested him for threatening behaviour. Richard took Hobbs to a police station at Southend, Essex. The youth was later released on police bail.

But Richard, who has eight years unblemished service, faced an investigation by officers of the complaints and discipline department of his own City of London force.

He was then summoned to appear before magistrates on a charge of common assault.

The PC who has the backing of police colleagues, told pals last night: "I'd do the same thing again."

His wife Tina said: "I can't believe Richard's own bosses can treat him so badly.

"Now he faces losing everything. He will be a broken man if they boot him out.

"He is the most dedicated police officer you could ever wish to meet and is so loyal to the job but this is how they treat him."

Even Hobbs said: "I don't want to see his career ruined.

The train incident happened in July as Richard and his family returned to their Essex home from a trip.

The highly-trained PC had played a key role in protecting the City from IRA bombers.

Richard was on armed duty for visits by Royals and senior politicians.

His case follows the ordeal of PC Steve Guscott, who faced the sack after cuffing a teenage yob round the ear.

PC Guscott, of Avon and Somerset police, kept his job after more than 130,000 Sun readers protested.

He was fined £100 in court last June.

Name: The Sun Date: 12/12/94 Author: Exclusive by Lenny Lottery
The most ordinary family in Britain.. (Apart from £17.8m Lottery winnings in the bank)

A "TYPICAL ordinary family" scooped the record £17,880,003 National Lottery, it was revealed last night.

But the win instantly put the couple and their children on the fringe of the country's 500 richest people!

They watched the draw on TV and realised they were in the money when the mum produced the winning ticket.

Then an hour later hostess Anthea Turner announced there was only ONE winner and they tried to ring the National Lottery hotline.

But it was jammed with calls from other punters who thought THEY had won. The family only learned they were sole winners yesterday afternoon when they got through.

Last night the family were being guarded by Lottery organisers Camelot and receiving counselling on how to cope with their wealth and the shock. But a family friend said: "They FAMILY WINNER

are lovely people. To be honest the most remarkable thing about them is just how ordinary they are.

"You couldn't have picked a more typical British family.

"I'm sure they will think carefully about what's best for them and enjoy there new-found wealth."

The win is more than double the biggest payout to an individual in Europe, beating the £7million scooped by a Frenchwoman aged 82.

It is six times the biggest pools win of £2,924,622. Island

The money would buy the village of Salperton, in the Cotswolds, or the Caribbean island of Necker if owner Richard Branson would part with it. Either would cost only £10million.

Saturday's jackpot was the first one to go to a single punter.

Do you know the winning family? There's a £10,000 reward for the first person to tell us who they are. Ring 071 782 4100 to 071 782 4105.

Name: The Sun Date: 12/1294 Author: Trevor Kavanagh, Political Editor
DECLARE WAR ON EUROPE OR ELSE Portillo warning to Major

EMPLOYMENT Secretary Michael Portillo yesterday warned John Major to declare war on Europe or watch the Tory Party tear itself apart.

He urged Mr Major to take on Euro-fanatics like Chancellor Ken Clarke and Foreign Secretary Douglas Hurd and fight moves towards a federal superstate.

Mr Portillo, the right-wing Tories' favourite to succeed Mr Major, added: "We need to heal the wounds of the party.

"The rebels need reassurances that we are not taking further steps towards a United States of Europe. We can provide those assurances. "

He urged a policy that was "more Euro-sceptic than our opponents and the rest of the Continent."

But he warned against a referendum, saying people would simply use it to express their dissatisfaction with the Government.

Mr Portillo spoke out as Mr Hurd called for a wider debate on closer ties with Europe. He said: "There are pros and cons on both political and economic sides. "

Mr Hurd denied he was trying sell the idea of a single European currency to sceptics.

But he added: "We do need to work out whether the pluses outweigh the minuses. "

Name: The Sun Date: 12/12/94 Author: Paul Thompson and Jamie Pyatt
PONYTAIL BOFFIN SHOT DEAD BY LOVE RIVAL He had string of girls

AN Oxford University scientist shot dead at his home may have been murdered by a love rival, police said last night

Detectives believe a jealous husband or boyfriend blasted romeo Dr Michael Meenaghan through his kitchen window with a shotgun as he made a cup of tea.

The 6ft pony-tailed boffin, whose wife left him at Easter, had a tangled love-life. Letters from married women were found at his terraced house on the Blackbird Leys estate in Oxford.

Neighbours said 35-year-old Dr Meenaghan, a genetic fingerprinting expert, lived alone but had regular visits from girlfriends.

A pretty young woman and her son moved in with Dr Meenaghan shortly after his wife walked out.

Neighbour Val Dorgan said: "You could see them kissing and cuddling about the place but she moved back out a few weeks later.

"She started coming back to visit him again about a month ago and he was clearly pleased to see her and the boy."

Another neighbour, 32year-old Danny Mckinlay, said: "A few months before his wife left there was some sort of row and the police were called.

"Their relationship was stormy. There was often shouting and arguing." Gasping

A senior detective said: "This murder could be the work of a love rival or somebody who was hired by one.

"It certainly bears all the hallmarks of a contract killing. It's like something from an Inspector Morse mystery ."

Dr Meenaghan may even have known he was being stalked. He had covered his windows with blankets and locked every door.

The academic managed to drag himself across the floor and dial 999 after being shot at his £60,000 home on Saturday evening.

The operator could hear someone gasping for breath and alerted police. By the time they arrived the scientist had bled to death.

Dr Meenaghan, who came from Glasgow, was an £18,000-a-year researcher and lecturer at the university's Sir William Dunn School of Pathology.

Name: News of the World Date: 4/12/94 Author: Chris Blythe
Soccer legend Hudson works as pimp

SOCCER idol Alan Hudson supplies prostitutes for rich perverts, the News of the World can reveal today.

The former Chelsea, Arsenal, Stoke and England hero arranges orgies for leering businessmen - complete with £500-a-time tarts he has 'tried and tested' himself.

The fallen star, seen here with two scantily-clad hookers, was asked by an undercover reporter: "Have you slept with these girls yourself?" Hudson replied: "Of course."

He went on: "I've done one show with them. They're 100 per cent."

Our reporter, posing as a businessman, was promised a party with star names from the soccer world plus "a sex show of the highest quality" for £10,000.

Hudson's sordid new game will shock and sadden millions of fans who worshipped him in the 1970s.

The News of the World has also learned that a charity fund-raising company Hudson, 43, launched has gone bust with huge debts.

And the watchdog Charity Commission is investigating complaints from charities that lent their names to Hudson's schemes.

Name: News of the World Date: 4/12/94
HUDSON FIXED SEX ORGIES AS HIS CHARITY FUND COLLAPSED Author: Exclusive by Chris Blythe and Dan Arnold Tart rode soccer star like horse

SHAMED soccer idol Alan Hudson plays dirty by organising kinky orgies - and even loves trying out the tarts himself.

At a recent party he set up, Hudson was seen wearing a horse's saddle and blinkers, while a hooker rode him around a curry house stock room.

The former Chelsea, Arsenal Stoke and England striker offers parties to new businesses, like restaurants, to help their launch go with a bang,

His punters are told that big soccer names will be on hand to mingle with guests. And girls will be available when the action hots up.

Last week Hudson, whose charity fund-raising activities are being officially probed, had disappeared from his Stoke-on-Trent home.

But a News of the World reporter posing as a restaurant owner met with scantily-clad black prostitutes Michaela and Donna and his business partner, bloated Birmingham private detective Peter Garrett-Dare.

Hudson, 43, told our reporter: "We can arrange whatever you want for the opening night. We've got the names and we can supply them.

"These girls are yours. They're 100 per cent, I can personally assure you. It's good fun,

"The girls go round serving drinks but the punters can't touch at first. Then the girls start making advances to your punters and it becomes an orgy."

Listing a number of soccer heroes, Hudson went on: "Names are no problem - there'll be some s******* going on but it won't be with them. Privacy

"We won't hog the girls to start with. They're for your punters."

Garrett-Dare chipped in: "What we do afterwards in privacy is entirely our business isn't it, Al?" Hudson replied: "That's right."

Garrett-Dare said: "These girls are £500 a bang." And Hudson added: "That's a fair shout."

Garrett-Dare went on: "Al has put on these ventures before with me and we've made a lot of money. We had the chairman of a football club and half a major league team at our last bash. It was great.

"What you're getting is a sex show of the highest quality, where anything goes. We want £10,000 but you'll be well happy."

We spoke to vice madam Michaela Hamilton from Bullwell, Notts, who arranged girls for a Hudson orgy at the Sanam curry house in Stoke.

She recalled: "We'd brought along a saddle and some horsey props and by the end, after most of the punters left, Alan got stuck in. He was wearing a saddle and blinkers. One of the girls was riding him round the stock room.

"He met me a couple of weeks earlier at a hotel and said he wanted some girls to put on a show.

"He had a few drinks and started getting frisky so we went up to a room and had some fun. He paid me £375 for sex but he wasn't up to the job."

Prostitute Donna, 31, who said she was Michaela's sister - went on: "I got on his back and he galloped round the room. He had sex with a couple of girls that night."

Hudson is divorced from his wife Maureen. He also left his lover Pam Rawlinson last week.

Pam runs the Hollybank Guest House in Uttoxeter, Staffs, and claims she has been saddled with a string of debts from Hudson and his company Lifetime UK.

Hudson set up Lifetime UK Ltd as a charity fundraiser in 1992.

He said sporting stars would take part in projects to benefit good causes. After persuading charities to let him use their names, he printed competition tickets and girls sold them all over the country.

But Joe Osborne, 75-year-old chairman of the Burton and South Derbyshire Multiple Sclerosis Society said: "He is despicable and deplorable - he caused me huge problems.

"In February 1993 I was told the charity would get monthly cheques of several hundred pounds each if I gave our name to the scheme. I was told Hudson would sell tickets with the offer of joint ownership of a race horse as a prize.

"I thought the charity would benefit and I trusted him because he was a famous sports personality.

"How wrong could I be? They used our name and registered charity number on the tickets and probably sold thousands.

"We only ever got one cheque for a measly £100. That was the last I heard from them. I had calls from all over the country and from the Charity Commission asking me what was going on. We'd love to get our hands on him."

Racehorse owner Reg Hollinshead leased Hudson a two-year old filly for the competition.

Reg, 70 of Rugeley Staffs, said: "That season the horse won twice, earning around £6,000, but I never heard if there was a winner of the competition. I've no idea what happened to the money."

In another promotion for the Douglas Macmillan Home, Hudson sold more than £40,000-worth of £1 raffle tickets but gave the cancer charity just £2,000.

Hudson, who joined Chelsea in 1970 as an 18-year-old boy wonder, left a legacy of unpaid bills when Lifetime UK went bust. He still owes rent on an office at Brookhouse Business Park, Uttoxeter, Staffs.

Last night he tried to blame his partner for the sex party offer. He said: "Peter is skint. He needs £10,000 off you. He set the whole thing up.

"I don't get involved with prostitutes. I have two big jobs in football management coming up.

"I've met these girls twice. The time before was for five minutes. I've never slept with one of them.

"I was with my son in the Sanam restaurant and we left early. I have a lot of witnesses who'll back me up. I'm not a pimp. I don't get involved with people like that. I tell you, this had better be good. You'll be hearing from my lawyers on Monday.

"The charity business was all wrapped up by my accountants 18 months ago. I've not received any letters recently from the Charity Commission."

Hugh Rogers of the watchdog Charity Commission said: "We received complaints about Mr Hudson and his company.

"We are still searching for how much money was involved and who benefitted.

"If anyone has any information we would love to hear from them." Later an emotional Hudson phoned the News of the World from the Rose of Denmark public house in London's East End and said: "Leave a message for your reporter, I need him to help me.

"That should be your job as pressmen rather than trying to slaughter people.

"I've found out a couple of things about him. If he wants to try and wreck my life I've got his home number. Exactly what he does to me I'll do to him. I've got a lot of friends in high places in newspapers.

"I'm not as silly as you. If you've dived into me you're going to lose a lot of money, believe me."

Name: News of the World Date: 4/12/94 Author: Exclusive by Doug Kempster and Neville Thurlbeck
I was knee deep in mud, bullets and hippos... and all I could think was 'The missus isn't going to like this'

BRITISH aid hero Don Reid has relived his nightmare six-day ordeal hiding out in the African jungle.

The 43-year-old former SAS squaddie had no food, water or equipment, and was dressed in just a T-shirt and shorts. "I went through fear like I'd never felt before," he says.

Don - reunited with his family on Friday - had been taking part in the relief effort to help Rwandan refugees in Zaire, and went on the run after the grain truck he was driving was fired on by Zairean troops.

"There was chaos - AK47s firing and then a machine gun opened up," he says.

"It was like the Second World War, there were bullets everywhere."

Don - who won a United Nations Peacekeeping Medal after a tour of duty in Cyprus with Three Para in 1972 æ recalls: "Once in the bush, I ran through cane plantations and high grass. After five minutes I was getting really tired.

"I concealed myself in a thicket and stayed there all day as the heavy firing went on. I could hear soldiers walking past.

"I thought, 'The missus isn't going to like this'."

Don decided to head for the mountains in the west, where he knew Oxfam had a base, but only after dark did he venture out. "It took me one and a half hours to cover ten yards of the bush," he says.

Even as the sun began to rise, gunshots were still rattling through the undergrowth. Suddenly Don found himself up to his knees in swamp mud. "I was at a stream about 12 to 15 feet wide," he says.

"I thought I could wade across, but it turned out to be deep. So deep that two hippos surfaced.

"I staggered, fell in and had to climb out again. I was soaking wet. As the sun got warmer the flies started coming out. I don't know what kind of flies they were, but they were far worse than any mosquito. Each time they bit it was like having a needle stuck into you. I was close to despair."

Occasionally Don heard a search helicopter thunder overhead, and knew people were looking for him. But he could not show himself in case his enemies spotted him.

"On the third day the thirst began," Don recalls. "I started licking the dew off leaves.

"I spent much of the day in a very dense jungle, with a lot of thorns. My legs were cut to ribbons and it got very painful."

By the fourth day Don was racked with fatigue.

He had not eaten or drunk anything, and what little sleep he could snatch was fitful. He says: "Things got so bad I had to drink, so I urinated in my hand and wet my mouth with it."

Day five brought the hunger pains.

"I was very weak," Don says. "I found some berries which looked like small grapes, and there were ape droppings with bits of these berries in them. Foul

"So I thought, 'If they're good enough for them, they're good enough for me.' I ate handfuls of them as I went along.

"I also found a stagnant pool in volcanic rock. I cleared the algae out and let the sediment settle before drinking. It tasted foul. I felt sick and my stomach was cramped."

As the sun rose on Don's sixth and final day, he was at an all-time low.

He could see the mountains he had been heading for but the thickest, most dangerous undergrowth lay before him.

"It was soul-destroying," he says. "It was like someone was putting obstacles in my way. I had an image of me dying in that place and my wife would never have known what had happened to me.

"I was hallucinating - I closed my eyes and saw hamburgers. it was like living in a nightmare.

"Then suddenly I was on a dirt track." Villagers found him and led him to the Oxfam base.

Back at home in Hereford, Don hugged wife Lynn, 42, and children Nina, 19, Ian, 13 and Andrew, 11. Lynn says: "When I met his plane at Heathrow I was shocked by how he looked. He's lost at least a stone and a half - he's wasted away.

"But words can't describe what I felt when I knew he was safe. My greatest present this Christmas is to have Don home with me."

Name: News of the World Date: 11/12/94
MARGARET'S BUTLER BEDS PERVERT IN DI'S PALACE Author: Exclusive by Dominic Mohan

A CONVICTED child molester sneaked into Kensington Palace for gay sex with Princess Margaret's butler, the News of the World reveals today.

The astonishing affair exposes terrifying loopholes in royal security.

Eddie Houghton, 43, has convictions for abusing five children just a little younger than Princes William and Harry. He has yet another conviction for firing a gun on a train.

But no one even asked his name as he roamed past Princess Margaret's private rooms.

And trusted butler Harold Lodge, 51, had never even met the ex-convict before taking him for a sex session just yards from Princess Diana's apartments. Lodge had contacted him through an ad in a magazine. Houghton, who has served two terms in prison, revealed: "When I saw two uniformed officers I thought, 'There's no way I'll get in.' But they just said to Lodge, 'Good evening, Harold', and let us through."

Yesterday a Buckingham Palace spokesman promised: "The matter will be referred to the police."

Lodge's sister Margaret said: "My brother didn't like the look of him because he had long hair and tattoos. To say he regrets meeting him is an understatement."

Name: News of the World Date: 11/12/94 Author: Dominic Mohan
Sex fiend romped just yards from Di's rooms No check as cops let him into palace

PRINCESS Margaret's trusted butler Harold Lodge had no trouble taking a convicted pervert into the very heart of Kensington Palace.

He knew no one would bat an eyelid as he guided child molester Eddie Houghton to his bedroom just yards from Princess Diana's private apartment.

It is believed she was in the palace at the time.

Worryingly, Princes William and Harry stay there during their school holidays-and Houghton, 43, has convictions for indecently assaulting TWO sets of young brothers. A judge once told him: "You are a menace to children. No child is safe from your perverted lust."

The ex-jailbird's record also includes a sex assault on a ten-year-old girl and firing a gun on a train.

Kensington Palace, where Houghton romped with the gay royal servant, is also home to Prince and Princess Michael of Kent and the Duke and Duchess of Gloucester. This is how the chilling sequence of events unfolded.

OCTOBER 5: A contact advertisement appears in London classified magazine Loot. Placed anonymously by Houghton, it reads: "Gay guy, 43, 14 stone, active and passive seeking gay guy over 30 for fun times, friendship or one to one relationship." Lonely

OCTOBER 12: The advert is repeated in Loot, and subsequently appears in Capital Gay. In both publications a 'voice bank' telephone number is given (a system under which callers' messages are passed on to the person who placed the advertisement).

Lonely Lodge, 51, telephones the number and leaves a brief message and his private ex-directory palace phone number.

NOVEMBER 7: Houghton returns his call and Lodge who also worked for the Queen Mother for three years tells him he is a royal servant.

Lodge assures him that he will be able to sneak him into the palace.

He even says he would like Houghton to stay with him there for the weekend.

NOVEMBER 8, 8.55pm: The pair meet by arrangement outside Kensington High Street Tube station, West London.

Houghton, who lives in a tiny council flat in Gospel Oak, North West London, says: "Lodge was scruffily dressed in navy blue track suit bottoms and trainers and asked me if I was Eddie. He had a very gay sounding voice and looked just like John Inman from Are You Being Served?

"Almost immediately he said, 'Let's go to the palace'. I was nervous. I assumed they would tap my details into a computer, and Harold would find out l was a sex offender.

``But he said,> 'Don't worry, we can always go to your place.' He seemed very confident, as if he'd done it before."

9.15pm: The pair arrive at the palace. Grey-haired Lodge who has been Margaret's butler since November last year, escorts him to a side gate off Kensington Church Street.

The wrought iron gates are patrolled by two police guards in a sentry box, and protected by mounted infra-red security cameras.

Houqhton even jokes: "Hey look, Harold, we're on candid camera."

The bespectacled pervert - whose arms are covered in tattoos- recalls now: "When I saw the two uniformed officers I thought, 'There's no way I'll get in.' But they just said to Lodge, 'Good evening, Harold,' and let us go through the two barriers.

"Lodge told them, 'I'm just taking a guest in,' and they said, 'All right.'

"I said to one of the policemen, 'Oh, it's cold tonight.' He laughed, 'It's all right for you, you'll be in the warm soon.'

"We walked about 100 yards down a tarmac road on which several cars were parked. Everything was so quiet and tranquil.

"When we were through I said, 'That was simple,' and he told me to shut up.

"There were old-fashioned iron street lamps and beautiful gardens around the palace. It was certainly nicer than Pentonville Prison, where I'd been banged up.

"Harold even pointed out Princess Margaret's apartments where he worked. He was so open I couldn't believe it."

To avoid the Royal Family's personal security staff, the pair deliberately go a long way round to Lodge's quarters, which are at the end of a row of residences running parallel to and linked to-the palace itself.

9.25pm: Safely inside the butler's suite, Lodge takes Houghton's coat and makes him a cup of tea.

Describing the suite Houghton says now: "It was like a bungalow with a big dark oak front door and was very posh inside.

"There were two expensive looking cut glass ashtrays on a small table next to a big grey sofa.

"There was a small 12-inch Matsui television on a ridiculously big TV stand. He had big red curtains in the lounge, which were shut, and a coffee table piled up with magazines and newspapers.

"But he wanted to get straight down to business and grabbed my private parts before I'd even started my tea.

"He showed me where the bedroom was.

"It had a white, patterned duvet and a big double bed. Beside it there was a large green old-fashioned dial telephone.

"Lodge came into the room and stripped off, and we lay-on the bed."

After detailing their sex acts, Houghton continues: "He got up to shut the window. He said he didn't want the patrol man to hear us." Sentry

10pm: The pair get dressed and Houghton washes and combs his hair in the bathroom, which has a striking blue shower curtain. The two men then sit chatting. Lodge promises to phone Houghton next day.

10.20pm: Lodge fetches Houghton's coat from a closet and says he will escort him the same way back to the gate.

They bump into a uniformed officer wearing a flat police cap, who says: "Good evening, Harold," and the pair walk to the dark-coloured sentry box they had passed earlier.

NOVEMBER 9: Not having received the promised phone call, Houghton phones the palace. Lodge confesses that he does not think they are compatible.

NOVEMBER 10, 9.58pm: Houghton phones again and Lodge tells him: "I don't think it's going to work. I don't know what I'm looking for. Perhaps Mr Right may come along.'

The pair have not spoken or seen each other since. 'No child is safe from your perverted lust' WHAT JUDGE SAID ABOUT HOUGHTON

Name: News of the World Date: 11/12/94
ARSENAL BOSS IN £285,000 CASH PROBE

Arsenal manager George Graham (above) was last night at the centre of allegations that he took a secret £285,000 commission after signing a star player.

Name: News of the world Date: 11/12/94 Author: Mark Thomas
YO HO NO! VICAR SAYS BAN SANTA 'Tell kids he's fake'

DECK the halls with boughs of holly, Reverend Dick is off his trolley!

A barmy vicar is trying to tell his flock what any five-year-old knows is nonsense that there is - gasp! - NO Santa Claus!

The Rev Dick Haigh, who should know better at the age of 63, asked his parishioners: "Do you deceive your children?

"This month millions of small children will be encouraged to believe in a falsehood the reality of Father Christmas.

"At the same time, millions of slightly older children will come to realise they have been duped. They will find the experience painful and humiliating. Why subject them to it?

"I do not believe it can be right to teach children something they will later have to unlearn."

Yesterday Mr Haigh, of Brough, Cumbria, back tracked a little and came up with a get-out Claus. He suggested parents could dress up as Santa-so long as kids are told it's a game!

"I'm not for banning Father Christmas all together," he said. "Presents could be left by Father Christmas played by a parent.

"Children take thoroughly to the idea that people have different roles."

Not as thoroughly as they believe in Father Christmas, they don't!

In Britain alone, 600,000 children write to Santa in Lapland every Christmas and all their letters get through.

We think you'd better sleigh sorry, vicar...yule not fool anybody!

Name: News of the World Date: 11/12/94 Author: Chris Anderson, Political Correspondent
YULE NOT BE FORGIVEN Prime Minister rejects call to give rebels an Xmas amnesty

PREMIER John Major dismissed calls last night to bring his Tory rebels back into the fold immediately.

He made clear their exile would continue for "months ahead".

The embattled Prime Minister - under heavy fire for withdrawing the whip from eight Euro rebels - insisted he had no regrets.

And Mr Major made clear that he would not dangle the prospect of a Euro referendum to appease the mavericks.

He said the decision to discipline the rebels was "certainly not a mistake," and stressed: "There was no choice but to take action in the way we did. I would like every Conservative, of course, to be taking the Conservative whip.

"But they were aware of what would be likely to happen if they did not support the Conservative government and they did not."

The Prime Minister warned that the prospect of a referendum on European Union would not be used to entice the rebels back on board.

The Prime Minister's tough talk surprised many MPs anxious for a return to stability and unity. Meanwhile, flustered Chancellor Ken Clarke boobed again yesterday.

Reminded how he had dismissed the idea of a referendum, while the Prime Minister was making clear> the option was still open, he said: "There is a difference between the two of us on these important issues."

Aides hurriedly stressed that the Chancellor had meant to say the reverse.

An opinion poll of 100 Tory constituency chairmen in today's Sunday Times shows that more than half want a referendum on Europe.

Name: News of the World Date: 11/12/94
Lecturer shot dead by hitman

AN Oxford University lecturer was shot dead by a hitman last night as he made a cup of tea in his kitchen.

The killer poked a gun through the 38-year-old pathologist's window on the city's notorious Blackbird Leys estate and opened fire.

The unnamed academic slumped to the floor with a neck wound as the assassin fled on foot. Police hunted the gunman in vain using a helicopter.

Detectives arrived at the doctor's £60,000 terraced home to find the doors locked and his body on the floor. They believe the killer staked out the house from a vehicle nearby.

Enemies

The victim was said to be Scottish and a lecturer at the university's Sir William Dunn School of Pathology. His department head was called to identify him.

Locals called the academic "a very nice bloke" who lived alone with his black and white cat. Neighbour Henry Sherriff said: "I can't think why anyone would have wanted to shoot him.

"He was a very pleasant man who often chatted to our kids. I cannot imagine him having any enemies."

Another neighbour, who once worked with the pathologist, said: "He was nice - the last person you'd expect anyone to attack."

Name: News of the World Date: 11/12/94 Author: Eddie Fitzmaurice
BRITAIN'S BIGGEST WINNER One punter gets £17.5m

BRITAIN'S biggest ever prizewinner was last night celebrating a mind-boggling £17.5 MILLION jackpot on the National Lottery.

The mystery punter held the only ticket to match all six numbers. The massive payout-around six times bigger than Britain's record pools win-was confirmed within an hour of the live draw on BBC1.

The win was against all odds because the six numbers were above 25. They were 26, 47, 49, 43, 35 and 38. Even the bonus number was high - 28. Another ten winners were counting bumper payouts too - collecting £300,000 for five correct numbers plus the bonus ball.

A spokesman for Lottery organisers Camelot confirmed: "There's just one jackpot winner. We don't know who it is at this stage, where the ticket was bought, or whether it's a man or a woman.

"The important thing is that somebody out there has suddenly become incredibly rich...it must be one of the largest Christmas presents in history."

The winner is so wealthy he could soon shoot into the list of Britain's richest 500 people.

With careful investment, his win will rapidly be worth £20million.

That would give him a fortune matching rock star David Bowie, motor racing boss Frank Williams, movie star Roger Moore and Manchester United chairman Martin Edwards.

Total prize money in last night's draw was £34.5million. The jackpot included £6.9million rolled over from last week. Ticket sales ran at more than £40,000 a minute yesterday.

A staggering £25million worth of tickets were sold yesterday alone.

Around 57 million tickets were sold in total - 20 per cent up on last week.

There were about 600 000 winners overall against 888,000 last week. Bumper

The previous biggest Lottery jackpot was two weeks ago when four ticket holders each scooped £1.7million.

While Camelot toasted the bumper payout, a huge row erupted with the BBC over its "amateur and downmarket" presentation of the live draw.

Camelot are furious over the quality of the 15-minute show, hosted by Anthea Turner and Gordon Kennedy.

Both presenters have been slammed fluffing their lines, but Camelot has reserved its fiercest attack for BBC bosses. Camelot officials will hold crisis talks next week with BBC1 boss Alan Yentob.

THE world's biggest lottery win was in July last year when Leslie Robins and his fiancee Colleen d'Vires scooped £70million in America's Powerball Lottery. Britain's biggest pools win of £2,293,110,40 was in August this year.

Name: News of the world Date: 12/12/94 Author: Ian Fletcher
IT'S ME! Just one punter claims £17.8m

ONE lucky punter will collect £17.8 million from the National Lottery today - Britain's biggest gambling payout so far.

The mystery winner was the only person out of 61.5 million entries to chose the correct six numbers.

Last night organisers Camelot were carrying out final security checks on the £1 ticket. Officials would not even reveal in which town it was bought.

They said it was up to the winner to decide whether he or she wanted to be named.

"There is no pressure on them," added a spokesman.

An unusual sequence of high numbers drawn on Saturday night had increased the chance of only one person scooping £17,880,003 a month after the lottery was launched with the slogan: "It could be you." Camelot

communications director David Rigg said: "These are typically less popular with players inclined to use birth dates for their selections."

The jackpot winner could collect £ 1 million in interest every year for the rest of his or her life.

So while the mountain of money stays stashed away, they would be able to spend £20,000 each week. Investment managers will be queuing up to advise the winner where to put the money.

But even with such a huge sum the motto will still be: Spread the risk.

With almost £18 million there is the chance or buying, or starting, a small business.

David Strange, an investment expert at NatWest, said this would require careful thought, planning and guidance.

Money expert Marie Jennings says the first step is to buy your own property then spread the rest of the cash between high and low risk investments.

The total lottery payout of £34,568, 762 shared by 685, 753 people-was swollen by the "roll-over'' of a £6.9 million jackpot left from the previous week.

Ten people won £337,644 each by matching five out of six, plus the bonus number.

Ticket sales for the week totalled £1.5 million.

Name: Daily Star Date: 29 Apr 96 Author: Macer Hall
Cops grab psycho as 32 die in shooting rampage

A LONE psycho who killed 32 people in a shooting rampage was arrested early today.

He was seized after setting ablaze a guest house where he was holed up with three hostages.

The dramatic end to the siege followed the gunman's killing spree on the Australian island of Tasmania yesterday which also left nineteen injured.

The dead included young children and a baby.

The 29-year-old gunman was a blond Aussie beach bum believed to be suffering from schizophrenia. His grim toll made him the world's second worst random gun killer. Execute

The man picked off tourists at random as they visited the former penal colony of Port Arthur.

No Britons were thought to be among the victims.

The gunman driving a car with a surfboard on the roof opened fire in a crowded cafe with a semi-automatic rifle before slaughtering more in a hotel bar.

He finally fled to the guest house, where he let loose at police with heavy caliber military rifles.

Police said they captured him outside the building and he had suffered burns. There was no immediate word on the fate of the hostages.

Name: Daily Star Date: 29 Apr 96 Author: Peter Bond
Ron's pot smack Cue ace lashes out in telly row

SNOOKER bad boy Ronnie O'Sullivan could be kicked out of the Embassy World Championship today.

He is alleged to have hit out at an official in a backstage incident at the Crucible, Sheffield.

The flare-up is said to have happened after a friend of O'Sullivan entered the Press room to watch the day's action on the TV screens. World Professional Billiards and Snooker Association assistant Press officer Mike Ganley pointed out to O'Sullivan that his mate, a familiar figure on the snooker circuit known as Del Boy, should leave because he was wearing jeans, in breach of the dress code.

As the trio were making their way out of the room backstage, the temperamental O'Sullivan is alleged to have struck out at Ganley, son of leading referee Len Ganley, Snooker ace storm who was unavailable for comment last night, as was O'Sullivan, who left to return to his Sheffield hotel.

Top BBC snooker commentator Clive Everton said: "We're absolutely agog over what's happened. There was an amazing dust-up.

"Sadly, it's a very real possibility that Ronnie might now be kicked out of the Championship."

He added: "I find it ridiculous that Ronnie's friend was asked to leave because he was wearing jeans, but nonetheless it does not justify hitting anybody."

A statement later issued by the World Professional Billiards and Snooker Association said: "A report has been made and, pending further consideration, we have no further comment to make at this time."

But the WPBSA indicated that a decision will be made early today to decide O'Sullivan's fate after all the facts have been heard.

O'Sullivan is not due to play again until tomorrow in a quarter-final match against John Higgins or Alan McManus. Verbal

This was the second time in the World Championship that millionaire O'Sullivan had landed in trouble.

He is already facing likely disciplinary action for a verbal assault on French-Canadian Alain Robidoux, who called him "disrespectful" for playing left-handed during their first round game last weekend.

Name: Daily Star Date: 29 Apr 96 Author: Jenny Eden
Cue's a silly boy..?

BAD-BOY Ronnie O'Sullivan has chalked up a series of scrapes since his big break as a teenage snooker ace.

But the young hot-shot may this time have well and truly snookered his career.

The superstar has been struggling to cope alone since both his parents were jailed.

Last year his mum Maria was put away for a year for fiddling £250,000 from the VAT man which she should have paid on the family's sex shops Murder

And his porn millionaire dad Big Ron is serving life for murder after he stabbed a man to death at a West End party.

Ronnie has already had his own string of brushes with the law. Last year he narrowly escaped jail after being clocked doing 133mph in his BMW.

He was let off with a ban after the court heard he had to look after his 12-year-old sister because his parents were in jail. Only months earlier he was locked up in a police cell after a drunken bust-up with a cabbie.

But he got off with an official warning.

He was also fined for careless driving after crashing a BMW near his home - then wrote off another £36,000 car after smashing it up in a hotel car park.

The star has also been in the frame with a string of beauties.

At the Bangkok tournament in March last year he was spotted smuggling a Thai hooker into his hotel bedroom. Sex And his former girlfriend Kelly Haynes revealed how the hot-headed star had passionate sex with her in a hotel dressing room minutes before going on Jim Davidson's TV show Big Break.

But Ronnie, who tearfully threatened to quit snooker after losing one big match vows he will not become snooker's new wildman.

He said: "I know people are saying I'll crack up and become the new Alex Higgins off the table. But they're wrong."

Name: Daily Star Date: 29 Apr 96 Author: Brian Farmer
MIRACLE OF MOSES BABY

A TEARFUL dad told yesterday how he battled to bring his baby back to life after pulling him from a water-filled ditch.

Sean McNulty, 31, hunted frantically for 10-month-old Joshua when he was thrown from their car in a crash.

The lad had stopped breathing when he finally found him face down in the water.

He said: "I don't know what death looks like but he looked like he had gone. He looked like my grandma when she died all pale and blue."

But the dad sobbed with joy as he described how the baby spluttered back to life as he fought to revive him "for what seemed like hours."

Sean, of Silsden, West Yorks, and his family were travelling home from a seaside break when their Escort careered into a ditch at Acle near Gt Yarmouth, Norfolk.

Speaking from his hospital bed, he told how wife Anne, 32, and sons, Daniel, seven and Andrew, five, scrambled to safety. Shout

But Joshua, who had been sitting in a child seat in the back of the car was missing. In desperation, he waded in the ditch calling his son's name.

Sean, a landscape gardener, said: "I just started thrashing around in the water looking for him. I heard someone shout 'He's behind you' and turned to see his cardigan sticking out of the water. I pulled at it and there he was and I lifted him onto the side."

The dad, a trained first-aider, then gave the child heart massage as another motorist, Alex Hardy 31, gave mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

Eventually the baby coughed and began to cry.

"All this stuff came out of his mouth and he started crying and I knew then he was all right and I just fainted," said Mr McNulty.

Sean is being treated for a shoulder injury and a badly damaged eye.

Samantha Lee, 25, who spotted Joshua's cardigan in the water said: "I watched as they tried to save him and then heard him cough."

Mrs Lee, of Lakenham, Norwich, added: "That cough was really something. I picked him up and cuddled him for joy."

Name: Daily Star Date: 29 Apr 96 Author: Peter Bond
Amazing escape as bit falls from jet It just misses driver

LORRY driver Phil Caine had a miracle escape yesterday when a jumbo jet's emergency chute snapped off and crashed 1,000ft to the ground - missing his cab by feet.

The Virgin Airways plane had just taken off from London's Heathrow airport for New York when a metal panel burst open and the 35ft by 8ft rubber lifesaver smashed into a tree next to the flat-bed truck.

Mr Caine, believed to be a divorced Australian in his late 30s, was unloading crates of French wine in Slough's McKay trading estate, Berks, when the chute struck.

A spokesman for Mr Caine's haulage firm said he had not been injured but was last night sent to his home in Aylesbury, Bucks, to recover from the shock instead of driving over to Belgium as had been planned. Incredibly, the jet with 326 on board, was in mid-Atlantic before the captain aborted the flight and returned to safely land the 747 at Heathrow.

An airline spokeswoman said: "Nobody aboard was ever in any danger."

The chute was housed in a compartment just above the right wing next to the starboard emergency exit.

Airline officials could not explain last night how the lock had burst open -or why the flight crew did not immediately detect it. Damage

An airport official said last night: "This is an extremely rare and serious incident."

Pub landlord Martin Higgins said: "There was a great big yellow tarpaulin on the back of the lorry but it didn't look as if it had been badly damaged.

"I think the driver had been returning from a trip and was off-loading the lorry when it was hit."

A team of engineers waited for Virgin flight VS 003 to touch down safely and repair the damage.

An immediate investigation was underway last night to discover how it happened.

Passengers were being put up in hotels overnight and flown out with other airlines today.

A Virgin executive said: "The 747 underwent routine maintenance at Heathrow yesterday morning carried out under contract by BA engineers.

"But it would now appear the emergency escape chute was not properly secured."

Virgin boss Richard Branson was unavailable to comment on the near tragedy.

Name: Daily Star Date: 29 Apr 96
52 die in bus blast

FIFTY two people died when a bomb went off on a crowded bus.

They were incinerated as the device - hidden in the petrol tank - turned the bus into a fireball.

The victims were all heading home to celebrate a religious festival.

Police said there was nothing left of the bodies except bones.

The outrage at Phool Nagar in central Pakistan was slammed by prime Minister Benazir Bhutto as a "dastardly act."

It was the latest in a string of explosions in the Punjab province in recent weeks. A bomb on Friday in a cinema in the town of Sargodha injured 12 people.

No one has claimed responsibility for the bus atrocity, but some point the finger at Indian terrorists.

They are furious at Pakistan's support for militants fighting Indian rule in Kashmir.

Name: Daily Express Date: 29 Apr 96 Author: Paul Fuller
Sisters struck by CJD Woman's gene fear over tragic twins

A WOMAN is living in fear after seeing her twin sisters struck down with the human form of mad cow disease.

Margaret Ammon watched helplessly as one sister, Joan Stapleton, died from CJD in 1989. Now Joan's identical twin, Betty Bottle, is fighting the same disease.

Margaret, 61, is married to a herdsman and lives on a farm hit by four cases of BSE. Her sisters are thought to be the closest relatives in Britain to succumb to CJD. But doctors believe the most likely cause is genetic and Third sister's nightmare has nothing to do with eating beef. It has always been thought that cases of CJD in older people, like Joan and Betty, were likely to be genetically linked.

Fears over the mad cow connection focus on recent younger victims, such as the suspected 15-year-old sufferer in Glasgow.

Even so, researchers are looking closely at the cases of Joan and Betty to determine whether there may be a BSE connection.

They lived and worked together for much of their adult life and shared many meals. They may have eaten the same infected beef or come into contact with infected cattle while visiting the farm where Margaret lives.

An average of 40 to 50 people die of CJD in Britain every year, so on the face of it the chances of sisters getting the disease are millions to one.

Joan and Betty worked side by side at a laundry near their home in Ashford, Kent. Betty is among three people from the town being treated for CJD.

Joan died in 1989 aged 51, six weeks after being diagnosed. Betty 58, started to show symptoms 18 months ago. She is now bedridden and fading fast. "She is incontinent she has lost the use of her arms and legs and she talks mumbo-jumbo," said Margaret's husband Derek, 61.

"The disease is eating away at her brain. The facial contortions and convulsions are horrific."

Whether or not doctors are able to pinpoint the cause of the sisters' illness as genetic or BSE-linked, Margaret is living a nightmare.

Her husband said: "Of course my wife is frightened about her own health.

"But she would never take a test to discover if she is also at risk of getting CJD. Would you? She doesn't want to know.

"She is also exhausted at travelling 500 miles every week by train to sit at her sister's bedside."

Microbiologist Dr Harash Narang said: "This is an alarming situation. It's the first case I've heard of sisters getting the disease."

Another leading researcher, Dr Stephen Dealler, added:

"The CJD genetic researchers will be straight on to this case.

"It's important that the genetics of these women are looked into."

Consultant neurologist Dr Alan Colchester, who is treating the Ashford cases, said the most likely explanation was genetic.

"One of the reasons why there is caution over jumping to the conclusion that CJD is transmitted from cattle to man is the marked lack of evidence of CJD in abattoir workers and dairy herdsmen," he added.

Joan's widower Richard, 59, said at his home in Romney Marsh, Kent: "It was a terrible way to lose a wife.

"I have no idea why two sisters should both get it. Maybe it was something they ate years ago, before I met Joan.

"Betty could go any day now. It's very worrying for Margaret, as you can imagine. It's distressing for everybody."

Derek, a herdsman for almost 20 years on the Titsey estate in Kent, has been milking cows since the age of 10. His family gave up eating beef after Joan died.

"With the first sister, the disease spread quickly," he said. "It started with a pain in her shoulder, then her hands went numb.

"Within days it was in her arms and legs and within 42 days she was dead.

"When she died the doctors told my wife she could rest assured she would never hear of CJD again, it was so rare. How wrong they were."

Name: Daily Express Date: 29 Apr 96 Author: Roger Maynard
Deadly rampage of the tanned surfer who pulled a rifle from his tennis bag and slaughtered 32 people at random One by one he executed them in cold blood World's worst gun massacre

THE bronzed young man who pulled into a packed tourist spot yesterday with a surfboard on top of his car looked like any other Aussie beach boy.

But minutes later he pulled an automatic rifle from a tennis bag and launched a callous massacre which left at least 32 people dead and 18 wounded.

The slaughter in Tasmania is believed to be the world's worst mass shooting.

Last night police and rescue workers, who had come under fire themselves, did not rule out the possibility that more bodies could be found. Their search was hampered by the chaos following the rampage and by nightfall.

Last night the gunman was still at large after barricading himself in a remote cottage with three hostages. More than 200 armed police had surrounded the building.

Many of the victims were shot indiscriminately on the sunny Sunday afternoon at Port Arthur, a 19th century convict settlement which is now a museum.

More than 500 Australian and foreign tourists were visiting the site 30 miles from the Tasmanian state capital of Hobart when the gunman walked into the Broad Arrow cafe, took out his gun and opened fire.

Witnesses say the killer cold-bloodedly lined up his victims, took careful aim and callously shot them one by one.

Phillip Milburn, who witnessed the start of the slaughter, said: "He wasn't going bang, bang, bang, bang. It was 'bang' and then he'd pick someone else out and line them up and shoot them.

"He was a cold-blooded killer with a gun that was meant to kill people."

The gunman then went outside and began firing at tourist buses in the car park and at motorists driving through the pay kiosk entrance to the museum.

Afterwards he coolly got in his car and drove two miles to the packed Fox and Hounds pub. Relaxed lunchtime drinkers were thrown into panic seconds later as he picked more victims at random.

He then calmly placed his weapon back in the tennis bag and drove to a remote holiday guesthouse where he seized the hostages.

Police revealed that the man was 29, lived in Hobart and suffered from psychological problems. They said members of his family were helping with siege negotiations but there were problems maintaining telephone links with the gunman.

Most of the dead were Australians but two were Canadian tourists. The nationality of another victim was not known. Several children and a baby were reported dead.

A witness heard him make a remark about WASPS - White Anglo Saxon Protestants - seconds before the shootings. The gunman muttered: "There are a lot of WASPS around here, there are not many Japs." Then he pulled the trigger.

Rob Atkins, a Sydney holidaymaker who was less than 100 yards from the cafe when the first shots were fired, said: "There was complete chaos because nobody knew what had happened.

"Some people were running up the hill hysterically but others were still dawdling around just looking at the ruins of the convict colony thinking it was all part of the show. It was all a bit unreal."

Sue Hobbs, who works for the Port Arthur Historic Settlement, said: "It's shocking. You're talking about one of those situations that no one could ever imagine happening in their own particular area."

Ian McCausland, editor of the local Hobart newspaper, said a woman outside the tourist complex was shot three times.

"They fell like ninepins," he said. "It's appalling. The carnage is horrific."

A car and several buildings were set on fire during the shootings.

Hospitals in the Hobart area were put on disaster alert as the injured were either flown to the city or taken there by ambulance. Streets in the centre were cordoned off to give ambulances free passage.

Extra staff were brought in and the Royal Hobart Hospital appealed for blood donors to come forward to meet the demand for transfusions

State Premier Tony Rundell said: "All Tasmanians and all Australians will be sick at heart at this massacre." Australian Prime Minister John Howard expressed his shock and disbelief at what he described as "senseless murders".

Tasmanian police chief John Johnson said officers had not established a motive for the shooting and said: "Why he's done this no one knows, but if he's done it to make some point in life he's made that point.

"Now's the time to end the siege and avoid any more bloodshed.

"All I'm hoping is that the gunman will realise the terrible damage he has done and will give himself up without any further fight."

The police chief said he believed the three hostages were still alive several hours after they were seized.

The gunman kept police surrounding the guesthouse at bay by taking pot shots at them. He also fired at helicopters taking the injured to hospital in Hobart.

A police spokesman said the gunman was in a strong position to defend himself because there was water on one side of the building and open land around the rest.

He said: "It makes it very difficult for us to get too close."

Police spokesman Stuart Slade said negotiations had been hampered by a lack of information about the gunman or his motives

"Several shots have been fired from the house," he added.

"The situation has been the same for several hours. We're not making much leeway although the negotiators are still attempting to communicate with this individual."

Mr Slade said it was thought the hostages were the couple who ran the guesthouse and one of their visitors.

All tourists had been evacuated from the area and neighbouring families had been warned not to go outside.

He added: "It's a very remote and isolated area."

John Major said in a message to the Australian Prime Minister: "I was shocked and appalled to hear of the massacre in Tasmania.

"With the dreadful events at the school in Dunblane still fresh in our minds here, I know only too well the horror people in Australia must be feeling.

"Words are not adequate to cope with the emotions such senseless killings arouse.

"But please accept my most sincere condolences and be assured that our thoughts and sympathies are with you, particularly the families of those killed and injured."

The Queen has sent a message of sympathy. She wrote: "I was deeply shocked to learn of the devastating tragedy at Port Arthur. Prince Philip joins me in sending our heartfelt sympathy to the bereaved families and our best wishes for a speedy recovery to all those who have been injured.

"Our thoughts and prayers are with you all."

A Buckingham Palace spokesman said the Queen was being kept informed of events.

The Foreign Office in London said: "There are no reports of any British casualties but we're urgently seeking confirmation."

The oldest buildings at the Port Arthur convict colony date from 1830 and are in what was then known as Van Diemen's Land.

During the next 40 years 12,000 prisoners were transported from Britain to do hard labour.

Port Arthur is Tasmania's top tourist attraction despite its grim past.

Name: Daily Mirror Date: 29 Apr 96 Author: Frank Thorne & Nic North
32 MASSACRED BY CRAZED SURFER

A MANIAC gunman who killed at least 32 people was seized by police last night after a dramatic 16-hour siege.

The crazed surfer was arrested after setting fire to a cottage where he was holding three hostages, who were also feared dead. Gunshots were heard as police landed a helicopter close to the building

Earlier the gunman had massacred his victims - including baby and several children - at a tourist site in Tasmania.

He picked them off one by one before fleeing with his prisoners. It was the world's worst ever massacre by a lone gunman. The 29-year-old, said by police to have a history of mental problems, had driven into the packed tourist site, pulled out a rifle and started shooting.

Witness Phillip Milburn said: "It was bang - then he'd pick someone else out, line them up and shoot them."

Name: Daily Mirror Date: 29 Apr 96 Author: Frank Thorne & Nic North
SURFER SLAUGHTER He looked just like any other beach boy till he took out a rifle

HE LOOKED a typical Aussie beach boy as he rolled up in his VW Beetle, surfboard strapped to the roofrack.

But suddenly he pulled an automatic rifle from his tennis bag and went on the rampage - leaving at least 32 dead and 18 injured, including children and a baby as he sprayed bullets into a cafe, a pub and tourist coaches.

Last night it looked as if the death toll could have risen further as the gunman set fire to the remote bed-and-breakfast cottage where he was holed up with three hostages.

The killer was arrested - but only after several shots were heard by the 200 armed cops surrounding the building.

Senior officers had earlier admitted they were "desperately worried" for the cottage's elderly owners David and Sally Martin and the guest being held by the gunman - a 29-year-old said to have a history of mental problems.

During the 16-hour siege he had demanded a helicopter but broke off negotiations when his mobile phone battery ran out.

Karen Jones, who witnessed the day's massacre, said: "It seemed he wanted to destroy everything in sight.

"There was a little girl who had been killed. The mother was saying, 'You have to get my baby to hospital, quick, quick!' - but she was already dead.

The world's worst massacre by a lone gunman began as the man wandered up to the Broad Arrow cafe in Port Arthur, an old Victorian prison colony packed with hundreds of tourists. Blasted He chatted to people in the lunch time queue forming outside, remarking strangely to one man: "There are a lot of WASPS (White Anglo-Saxon Protestants) here today but not many Japs." Then he wandered into the cafe, pulled out his rifle and opened fire.

Diners were blasted out of their seats as they chatted over lunch or picked off one by one as they ran, panic-stricken. for the door.

Hans Overbeeke, from Adelaide, said: "He just shot them down where they were sitting. Some were running away up the hill and he shot them too.

"There were just lots and lots of bullets. I heard about 20 or 30. They were big bullets - big cartridges were lying everywhere.

"Then he flew into his car and drove off, shooting more people."

Witness Phillip Milburn said the gunman carefully lined up his victims and shot them one by one. "He wasn't just going bang, bang, bang, bang. It was bang - and then he'd pick someone else out and line them up and shoot them. He was a coldblooded killer."

A nurse called Lynne, from Melbourne, hid behind a wall as bullets ricocheted nearby. When they stopped she dashed to help the wounded.

She said: "Behind a bus there were three victims - the driver dead, one lady shot in the back and one lady shot in the neck."

She went on to the cafe and in a state of shock herself, gave first aid to survivors and made tea until the police arrived.

With the cafe floor flooded with blood and the cries of the injured and dying in his ears, the gunman had coolly turned and wandered out, firing indiscriminately.

He got back in his car, still shooting as he drove, then headed for the Fox and Hounds hotel.

It was also crowded with tourists enjoying lunch or having a drink. And minutes later it was also filled with the same awful carnage, the dead and dying lying on the floor and the screams of those who survived. Horrified "The pub was where most of the victims died," said police. "The place was packed. He had a lot of targets."

Les Gore, owner of the Fox and Hounds, watched as the gunman shot a girl through the heart as she got out of her car. Mr Gore said: "We were all dumbfounded. I was horrified. I got some bandages and we helped them. One of the women was in very bad shape."

Again the gunman calmly returned to his car, shooting at anyone he saw.

"Then they shut all the tollgates off, blocked them off, because he just went up there and shot everyone that was coming in in their cars," said Karen Jones from the Tasmanian capital Hobart.

The man fired into vehicles, set at least one car alight and started fires in buildings. A group of elderly women on holiday from New South Wales was attacked as their bus drove towards the scene.

Peter Ettinghausen, owner of a hotel nearby, said the surfer stood in the road and opened fire.

"Luckily the driver had the presence of mind to rapidly reverse because the road was too narrow to U-turn. As they drove back at speed, he started firing at them."

Yet while the massacre continued, many tourists still wandered around, smiling and joking about the "sound effects". Hostages "They didn't realise this was for real," said Rod. "The rangers knew this wasn't part of any historic re-enactment and they herded us into a cottage and locked us in.

"Many people, now realising what was happening outside, were really panicking. But at least we were safe in there."

The gunman sped off again, shooting out of the window and took his hostages in the B&B.

Police said last night that the dead and wounded included American, Canadian and Asian tourists. No Britons are thought to have been hurt.

Name: Daily Mirror Date: 29 Apr 96 Author: Harry Arnold
World exclusive: amazing SAS operation to 'rescue' royals We crashed in blasting live bullets. Scared Diana hid her head in her hands

BRAVE Princess Diana joined the SAS in a live ammo battle - and nearly went up in flames when her hair caught fire.

Diana had insisted on joining the elite regiment - motto, Who Dares Wins - when they stormed a building at their Hereford headquarters.

As the troopers lobbed "flash-bang" stun grenades a stray spark landed in the princess's blonde locks, sending smoke rising into the air. Shaken Diana - still shaken by crashing a Range-Rover into a wall during a mock assault - screamed in terror to Prince Charles at her side: "Oh Charles, my hair! My hair!"

It was several seconds before anyone realised the danger. Then an SAS man raced forward to brush the singed tresses and lead the princess to safety.

The drama came when Diana and Charles visited the SAS before the break-up of their marriage. It was no ordinary visit. The royal couple were there to play the deadly serious role of hostages being rescued by troopers firing live bullets.

But before they braved the squad's 9mm Koch and Heckler sub-machine guns they joined an assault on an "embassy" under siege.

A trooper who took part told the Mirror: "Diana had asked to drive a Range-Rover being used in the exercise.

"At one point, she failed to brake in time and hit a wall which sent her shooting forward in her seat.

"By now, we were all around her hurling flash-bangs which we use to disorientate terrorists.

"The princess had been warned to keep her driver's window up for protection. But she left it down, and a burning 'whistler' from a flash-bang landed in her hair which started smoking.

"She started to beat the fire out. Then one of the lads realised what had happened, and went to help her.

"Diana seemed to go into shock. An officer put his arm round her to comfort her and she was taken to a quiet room to recover.

"It was quite a shock for all of us when we realised how close we had come to setting fire to her.

"As the visit was secret, Diana got her lady-in-waiting to trim her hair back into shape before she left so no-one would realise what had happened. The next day, everyone assumed she was trying out a new hairstyle."

Charles, at the controls of a helicopter ferrying SAS men, also had his moment of fear.

A trooper said: "As we approached the siege area, a dummy dressed in black was thrown out of the chopper to simulate the first of the assault team landing on target.

"But Charles had been told nothing about it and thought one of the men had fallen out. Shouted "He shouted to the co-pilot 'Take the controls! I've lost somebody!'

"He calmed down when he realised no-one was hurt."

Charles and Diana joined the SAS heroes for tea and coffee after the dramatic exercise.

Then came the real ordeal. They were taken to the regiment's "Killing House," a unique building where troopers simulate the rescue of hostages by killing dummy terrorists using live ammunition.

The exercise was staged to school the royals in what would happen if they were ever seized by terrorists - and how to react when the SAS moved in. Charles and Diana sat at a table with two men telling them what to do. They were surrounded by cut-outs of figures of gunmen.

Suddenly, their four "rescuers" burst in. Diana buried her head in her hands as the men opened up and live bullets whistled round the room.

Charles looked bewildered at the explosion of noise and action.

Our picture on the following page catches the dramatic moment.

Afterwards, a senior SAS officer promised Charles: "If you or any member of your family is taken by terrorists, we'll come and get you.

"You are our next King, and we'll never let you down - we'll find you wherever you are."

Another SAS man who took part in the operation said: "The prince and princess behaved brilliantly.

"They were told that if ever they were taken hostage, it was vital they should know how to react when we come for them.

"The last thing we want is for a hostage to panic. He or she could run into the line of fire. The prince and princess were told either to remain still, or hit the floor.

"When the four of us burst in, we moved to our positions and took out a terrorist target each. The noise is deafening for anyone not used to it.

"But Charles and Diana behaved exactly as they should. The princess found the noise startling, but she stayed in her seat. And the prince was totally calm.

"You only have to remember when a gunman ran at Charles in Australia two years ago.

"The man was firing blanks. But the prince didn't know that. stood perfectly still and kept cool. That's exactly how we need hostages to behave when we go in.' Tower Before taking part in the rescue, joking Charles signed a typed letter which still hangs in the mess at Hereford.

It reads: "Should this demonstration go wrong I, the undersigned Prince of Wales, will not commit B Squadron 22 Special Air Service Regiment to the Tower of London. Charles."

Later, the SAS gave the couple two of their black assault suits.

But instead of the suits carrying the regiment's winged dagger and motto, they were marked "His" and "Hers." > As she left, Diana said: "I'm glad they're on our side."

Name: News of the World Date: 28 Apr 96 Author: Clive Goodman
WORLD EXCLUSIVE: JOHN BRYAN TELLS ALL I HAD SEX WITH FERGIE AS SHE SPOKE TO ANDY ON PHONE

FERGIE'S Mr Fixit John Bryan admitted last night that he made love to the Duchess of York while she giggled down the phone to Prince Andrew.

And as he continued his caresses, she put her husband on 'hold' to take a call from ex-lover, Texan tycoon Steve Wyatt.

"They weren't to know," said Bryan. "It seemed very normal at the time." The bombshell revelations from the man who has kept his silence for four years expose a web of deceit and callousness that will rock the Royal Family to its foundations.

While Andrew was trying to rescue his marriage, his little princesses Eugenie and Beatrice would run into Fergie and Bryan's bedroom to play with Mummy and her friend on the bed. "Those girls are fantastic," said Bryan. "They're so sweet."

Meanwhile, Fergie's finances were going from bad to worse. She would put her credit card in a cashpoint and tell Bryan: "I don't want to look." It also emerged that Fergie and Princess Diana would pore over psychic 'forecasts' including a ghoulish prediction of the Queen Mum's death.

"She and Diana were very interested in that," said Bryan. "It was quite scary."

Name: News of the World Date: 28 Apr 96 Author: Clive Goodman & Stuart White
FERGIE GAVE UP HAPPY PILLS SO SHE'D ENJOY MAKING LOVE Duchess doesn't know right from wrong She spent 30 hours a week with psychics

THE Duchess of York weaned herself off the drug Prozac just so she could boost her games with lover John Bryan, it was revealed last night.

The powerful tablets - available only on prescripton - are 'uppers' which leave many users with a sense of elation but they can also lower sex drive and leave some women unable to reach orgasm.

The news of Fergie's Prozac secret was broken by John Bryan's closest pal and business partner Allan Starkie. He discovered the truth when she confessed that she could not reach orgasm after taking the drug.

Starkie, 40, revealed: "Sarah was on a long charity trek up the foothills of the Himalayas with a party of handicapped youngsters in 1994.

"I was in Frankfurt when she called me on the satellite phone she'd taken with her.

"The duchess was nearly in tears. She told me her dresser Jane Dunne-Butler had forgotten to pack her Prozac pills.

"I asked her if she was going to use the opportunity to try and give them up for good. She replied, 'Yes, I'm looking forward to my first orgasm in the best part of a month when I get back'."

Bryan himself well knew the lengths to which Fergie would go to get her sexual kicks.

He remembers the time just after Andy and Fergie split that the lovelorn prince - still devastated by the break-up of his marriage - phoned her to arrange a meeting. Handout

Andy little realised that the odd noise in the background was the rustle of sheets as his wife continued making love with his rival Bryan.

The incident happen at Romenda Lodge, the plush - and extremely expensive - home that Fergie rented in Wentworth, Surrey, with handouts from the Royal Family.

The Queen's granddaughters, little princesses Eugenie, six, and seven-year-old Beatrice, were sleeping soundly just down the hall - happily oblivious to the callous way Mum was playing Daddy for a fool.

American wheeler-dealer Bryan, 40, shuffled his feet uneasily as he spoke to the News of the World and recalled the astonishing episode which summed up his four years at the duchess's side.

"I guess you could say my timing was bad," he joked with a choked laugh.

"Sarah didn't know right from wrong."

But phone-mad Fergie, 36, wasn't yet finished with her bizarre bedroom antics.

As she continued to divide her attention between her husband on the phone and her lover in bed, ANOTHER man from her past - Texan Steve Wyatt - came through on the phone's second line.

Without turning a hair Fergie told Andrew to hang on while she chatted to Wyatt . . . all the while canoodling with Bryan.

"People may think that sounds extraordinary," he explained. "But it really seemed very normal at the time.

"He was her husband after all and he had a perfect right to call her and Steve Wyatt was an old friend keeping in touch. They weren't to know.

"Looking back at that period now, it was just a very confusing time for her . . . for everyone really." Gross

Bryan has only agreed to break his silence on his notorious relationship with Fergie to clear the air on his part in her broken marriage.

He is furious at allegations that he was single-handedly responsible for Fergie's divorce announcement just two weeks ago.

"To say that was my fault, to blame me, is a gross over-simplification of the way things happened," he told the News of the World. "When we met, for all practical purposes, their relationship had difficulties.

"This was only a few months before the official announcement of the separation."

While Bryan was her lover and financial guru, Starkie - a fellow American who ran the ill-fated Oceonics company with him in Germany - helped organise the duchess's day-to-day life.

He kept detailed diaries and records of his time as Fergie's unofficial aide.

Fiery Fergie and hotheaded Bryan could find a way to row about almost anything, he said.

Even the way Bryan sometimes ate could send her off into a rage. Smarties

"John's a very enthusiastic eater and he likes to make a lot of noise while he's doing it," Starkie explained.

"I remember once when he was eating a box of Smarties he was crunching each one very loudly. Sarah just snapped in front of everyone and told him to keep his mouth shut.

"She said, 'Will you STOP IT with those Smarties? It's just disgusting the way you eat. Close your mouth'.

Starkie added: "John was too surprised to reply but he did as he was told ... and quickly."

At a garden party Fergie flew into a rage when Bryan swore at a butler.

"Sarah overheard it and brought back the butler and made John apologise to him," recalled Starkie. "She said we didn't treat staff that way in England.

"She really tore his head off and then gave him a long lecture about politeness and how to treat staff properly in front of this man. Again, John just stood there and took it."

Fergie's belief in her ability to manipulate the people around her was bolstered by so-called psychics and spiritualists.

"She'd spend at least 30 hours a week consulting with these people and everything they told her she believed," Bryan told a friend.

Each week Fergie would talk to fortune-teller Rita Rogers, astrologer Penny Thornton and psychic Madame Vasso.

She even had a regular Friday phone appointment with an American spiritualist guru in Los Angeles.

After one consultation Fergie was bursting with excitement when she was told Prince Charles was to die.

The Prince had earlier survived a brush with death in an avalanche in the Alps.

But the Duchess was told he would soon meet his end in a second avalanche.

Bryan, who is now running an investment company in Los Angeles, told a friend: "She called Diana straight away, like a shot. She was really excited about that one.

"Nothing they ever told her came true and every time they were wrong they had a spiritual explanation for it and how they had actually been right all along."

Another tasteless 'prediction' had been how the Queen Mother would pass away because of problems with her legs.

"That was another one that didn't come true," Bryan told his pal. "But she and Diana were very interested in that because they believed it would affect the separations.

"Their faith in it was quite scary. They thought they would be able to get instant divorces."

But even with a divorce, said Bryan's pal Starkie, Fergie would never have married Bryan.

"She was a woman who was afraid to commit to anything in her life," he said.

"Her marriage, her relationship with John, her business projects. Anything.

"She didn't want to let her husband go but didn't want to stay married to him and at the same time she wouldn't make John public but wouldn't let him go either. She wanted to keep all the balls in the air.

"It hurt John so badly that for four years she'd ever acknowledge him as her boyfriend, her lover.

Fergie, he said, invented excuse after excuse to fend off besotted Bryan's marriage proposals - even playing on the Queen Mother's sometimes frail health. "Another 'reason' was that Prince Charles was to renounce his right to throne and Andrew would become Prince Regent," he added.

"John accepted every one of them. Whether he believed them I don't know."

Bryan had been introduced to the duchess by his old pal Steve Wyatt - then her lover - in November 1991. A bond formed instantly.

He blames 36-year-old Andrew's career as a Royal Navy officer for the collapse of their relationship.

Bryan explained: "The distance between the two of them during their marriage was too much to overcome.

"Things can happen that just get out of everyone's control and that's certainly what happened here.

"And then there's no going back."

Name: News of the World Date: 28 Apr 96
'DEAD' CRASH BABY LIVES

A COUPLE who believed their baby son had died in a car crash were elated last night after learning he was ALIVE.

The eight-month-old toddler had been dragged from a water-filled ditch and resuscitated by two motorists.

His hospitalised parents only realised the truth when staff at another hospital 20 miles away sent a message asking: "Can you tell us what to feed your baby on?"

The Yorkshire family's car had been involved in a pileup on the A47 Acle Straight near Great Yarmouth, Norfolk. The father got his wife and two other sons out before collapsing into a field.

In the confusion, the baby was believed dead - but he had been catapulted from the wreckage.

He was spotted in the dyke by a man and woman, who fished the tot out.

He was revived by the man and taken to the Norfolk and Norwich hospital, where last night he was said to be comfortable.

Casualty consultant Keith Walters said: "This woman is a heroine. It takes great presence of mind to do something like this.

"She got into the ditch at risk to herself."

The family - who have not been named - were last night recovering in the James Paget Hospital, Gorleston.

Spokeswoman Elayne Guest said: "They were distraught until they heard their baby was alive.''

Name: The Sun Date: 29 Apr 96 Author: Simon Hughes
GUN MANIAC GRABBED Police pounce after 32 die

A MAD gunman who massacred 32 people was arrested last night after torching a guest house where he had kept 200 cops at bay.

The killer was snared as flames leapt from the building.

Three hostages were feared dead, either shot or burned alive, taking the fiend's death toll to 35.

The siege at Port Arthur, a holiday paradise on the Australian island of Tasmania, came to a dramatic end after 16 hours. A helicopter landed near the blazing B & B. An ambulance approached

as police said they had arrested the killer. He suffered slight burns. The smouldering house was being searched.

The blond ponytailed surfer earlier ran amok as 500 tourists visited the site of Australia's toughest 19th century convict colony.

Eighteen people were wounded. Victims were aged between three and 72.

The killer, aged 29, arrived in an orange VW Beetle with a surfboard on the roof.

He told a by-stander: "There are a lot of WASPS (White Anglo-Saxon Protestants) around today. There aren't many Japs."

Then he strolled into the Broad Arrow Cafe and pulled out a semiautomatic gun from a tennis bag.

Children were among diners blasted to death. Others fled screaming. The killer followed, picking off his victims.

Witness Phillip Milburn said: "He wasn't going bang-bang-bang. It was 'bang', then he picked someone else out." The gunman sprayed bullets into cars waiting at toll booths at the tourist site entrance. He boarded coaches and killed passengers.

He set fire to buildings and a man was burned alive in the boot of a car. The killer drove to the Fox and Hounds Hotel where more victims died.

Then he shot a woman and took her husband hostage. He hauled the man into the Seascape B & B, run by Sally and David Martin.

The gunman was not named - but was known to police. He has a history of mental problems and police spoke to his mum, uncle and ex-girlfriend for clues to the rampage.

At the B & B the killer armed himself with heavy calibre military rifles and an infrared night sight belonging to the Martins' son.

Those shot dead were 30 Australians, including some of Asian origin, and two Canadians.

The killer is from Hobart, capital of Tasmania whose lax gun laws allow the purchase of automatic weapons.

Name: The Sun Date: 29 Apr 96 Author: Simon Hughes
FRENZY OF THE PSYCHO SURFER A snack, then slaughter

THE blond surfer who brought carnage to Port Arthur breezed into the resort, seemingly without a care in the world.

He parked his bright orange VW Beetle, surfboard strapped on top.

The 29-year-old chatted to trippers to the Tasmanian beauty soot. And in the Broad Arrow Cafe he chatted with tourists as they ate lunch together, before calmly reaching down to the tennis bag at his side.

He pulled out a high-powered semi-automatic rifle, stood up and launched the biggest lone gun massacre the world has known. When he left the cafe a few minutes later, he had turned it into a slaughterhouse.

Blood covered the floor and walls. The injured were screaming. Many were slumped on their meals - dead.

Local chef Hayden Crawford said the dead included two staff members, one a 17-year-old girl who was a friend of his. Other bodies were bunched around the door, picked off one-by-one as they tried to flee.

The psycho surfer slowly walked outside. Some trippers ran away screaming, aware of the nightmare that had begun unfolding.

One brave tour guide stood her ground, pushing her group into a nearby house and telling them: "Lock the door, stay inside."

But others were running towards the cafe. Brave

They had heard the shots and believed staff at the former British penal colony were staging a fun re-enactment.

Many just stood there as the surfer turned his gun on them and fired.

Again the blasts rang out. Several children were among the dead. Some were shot in the back as they tried to escape.

Next the killer headed towards the nearby car park. As children and parents peered from the windows of cars, they were sprayed with shots.

The surfer climbed aboard three packed tourist coaches, opening fire on each.

The killer then stole a car, shooting four occupants dead before driving to the entrance gate where he confronted a local woman and her two children, aged three and six.

Mr Crawford said: "She pleaded with him, but he shot the lady and the children and went on to the gates, where he shot all the staff."

The gunman then went on to a service station, where he shot a woman through the heart and took her male companion hostage, bundling him into the boot. Next, he headed for the Fox and Hounds Hotel, packed with customers enjoying a lunchtime drink.

Outside, two girls were shot through the head and two men in the shoulder and arms.

Les Gore, part-owner of the pub, had heard gunfire in the distance and thought it was someone shooting rabbits. Staggered

Horror dawned as four blood-soaked victims staggered in as he was serving counter meals.

The gunman followed, and unleashed a hail of bullets around the bar, cutting down people where they stood.

Most of his victims died there.

Mr Gore said: "We were all dumbfounded and horrified. One woman was in very bad shape. There were dozens of shots."

The publican watched in disbelief as the gunman walked out and shot a woman dead in an old brown BMW.

He pulled her body out and left it dumped on the ground.

A group of elderly women on holiday from New South Wales were Port Arthur's luckiest visitors.

They were driving towards the scene when they saw the surfer standing in the middle of the road.

He turned and fired. One bullet hit the windscreen and lodged in the car body.

Peter Ettinghausen, owner of a nearby hotel, said: "The road was too narrow for a U-turn.

"Luckily the driver had the presence of mind to reverse rapidly as the man carried on firing." Back in Port Arthur, police in flak jackets and carrying automatic weapons were pouring in to hunt the killer.

A fleet of 20 ambulances arrived and was ferrying the injured to hospital in Hobart.

Scores of surgeons and nurses were drafted in to help.

But as the victims began to arrive, a few miles away the surfer was threatening to kill even more.

By now he was back in his car, heading for the Seascape guesthouse two miles away. Injured

It is a two-storey, pink weather-board building with panoramic views of the surrounding open countryside.

He then broke into the guest house, taking owners Sally and David Martin hostage too. Helicopters were passing overhead carrying the injured of Port Arthur and the Fox and Hounds to hospital.

Soon shots were ringing out again as he made the helicopters his latest target.

For the police the gunmen could not have chosen a worse place to hole up.

The guest house was difficult to attack because of water behind, open land at the front and little cover.

The downward sloping front driveway gave the gunman a perfect view of anyone approaching.

And inside was an arsenal of weapons left there by the owners' son.

Every attempt by cops to approach was being greeted with shots.

Then the maniac set the place on fire. The cops moved in and arrested him. His hostages were feared dead.

Name: The Sun Date: 29 Apr 96 Author: Trevor Kavanagh
58% vote to keep £ Poll is slap in the face for Cabinet

ALMOST six out of ten Britons say NO to a single Euro currency, an exclusive Sun opinion poll reveals today.

It also shows three-quarters of adults want a referendum before Britain moves further into a Euro superstate.

And an amazing four out of ten are ready to quit the European Union altogether.

The MORI poll, conducted nationwide with 1,068 people from all walks of life, is the first wide-ranging test of public opinion since the recent Euro row blew up.

It confirms the explosion of anger by 100,000 Sun readers in last week's EU The Jury phone-ins.

The survey is also a slap in the face for leading Cabinet ministers who scoffed at referendum calls.

The poll sends a warning to a Tory high command which is turning its back on supporters.

It shows that working-class voters who were the backbone of four election victories are bitterly opposed to extra power for Europe. Concerned

And people who voted for Mr Major at the 1992 General Election, but have deserted him since, are strongly Euro-sceptic.

MORI's Simon Braunholtz said: "Some Tory grandees would rather not pander to the working classes. But they cannot win the next election without them."

Asked how they would vote tomorrow, only 29 per cent of all those quizzed backed the Tories, with Labour on 54 and Lib-Dems 13.

Saturday's poll found 74 per cent are concerned about the way the EU develops in the future.

Seventy-three per cent want a referendum, with six out of ten saying the poll should take place before or at the next election.

Barely a quarter (24 per cent) want to move further into political and economic union. The rest want to remain as we are (24 per cent), return to a common market of trading states with no political links (28) or quit the EU.

But among those who have deserted the Tories, two-thirds (66 per cent) want to return to a common market or pull out altogether.

When all those polled were asked what they would do if the only choice was to stay - and be politically linked - or pull out, 38 per cent said stay in while 41 per cent were ready to go it alone.

But among former Tories, 56 per cent wanted to get out.

Name: The Sun Date: 29 Apr 96 Author: Wayne Francis & Charles Rae
SQUEALING FERGIE IN BATH ROMPS WITH BRYAN ROYAL EXCLUSIVE

FERGIE enjoyed noisy sex romps in the bath with lover John Bryan - in earshot of embarrassed household staff.

One source said: "The Duchess would squeal her head off. They ignored the fact that staff were around as well as bodyguards.

"As their affair became more intense they got more careless. They'd leave the bathroom window open above the front door.

"There was no doubt what was happening. Their love-making was very noisy."

The steamy sessions took place at Fergie's former home Romenda Lodge, with daughters Beatrice, seven, and Eugenie, six, just down the corridor.

At first, Bryan and Fergie, 36, tried to hide that they were lovers from most staff.

But one was given the task of ruffling the sheets in the guest room where Bryan, 40, was supposed to sleep.

The revelations come in the wake of Bryan's kiss-and-tell disclosures from his two-year affair with the Duchess.

The bald Texan, who was Fergie's financial adviser, told the News of the World they had sex while she giggled on the phone to Prince Andrew. Videos

Bryan's ex-business partner Allan Starkie told how the Duchess came off anti-depressant Prozac to boost her sex games with Bryan.

The powerful pills leave some women unable to reach orgasm.

Starkie also claims that as the relationship bloomed, Beatrice and Eugenie would go into their mum's bedroom and drag Bryan downstairs to watch videos.

The revelations are said to have "devastated" Fergie, who has ordered lawyers to try to gag Bryan and Starkie.

A confidante of the Duchess said: "She's at an all-time low since the divorce announcement and this is kicking her when she is down."

Fergie flies on Concorde to the U.S. today to present a £100,000 cheque on behalf of her American charity Chances for Children. confessed former royal housemaid Sylvia McPhee, 23. "At least a quarter of the staff I knew took drugs either pot, Ecstacy, poppers or acid. The typical bash ends with everyone totally stoned. That's when the bedhopping starts."

Name: News of the World Date: 12/5/96 Author: Mark Thomas
EVERYONE GOT OFF THEIR HEADS AND STARTED FEELING RANDY NEWS OF THE WORLD EXCLUSIVE

AS the Royal Family sip cocktails and exchange polite chit-chat with their posh Buckingham Palace dinner guests the real party's just hotting up - down the corridor in the servants' quarters.

There the air is filled with the REEK of cannabis, the MOANS of groping couples and the hypnotic BEAT of pounding rock music.

"Drugs like pot, Ecstasy and acid are routinely available," revealed former royal housemaid Sylvia McPhee. "No-one blinks an eyelid when a joint is skinned up, or rolled, and passed round. Then, when everyone's off their heads people start feeling really randy and the sex fun begins.

A shock News of the World investigation into life below stairs at the Palace discovered how these rowdy all-night orgies often get out of control.

Once the Queen was even forced to issue a royal command ordering servants to keep the noise down.

At the time advisers told her it was just a case of youthful high jinks. Now we can reveal the truth - they were high all right, high as kites on dope.

Our disturbing findings also show how:

• SECURITY is regularly breached when drunken staff invite strangers inside for sex sessions in their rooms.

• HOUSEMAIDS sneak into the barracks of the Grenadier Guards for nookie and booze binges; and

• GIRLS basked topless on Buck House roof until Prince Philip got an eyeful from his helicopter.

Housemaid Sylvia, 23, decided to expose the outrageous goings-on after quitting her post to warn unsuspecting youngsters lured into Palace jobs by the apparent glamour. Tempted

The Queen's servants enjoy one of the swankiest addresses in the world, at the centre of all the glitz and excitement of London's West End.

But with meagre pay packets of around £100 a week most can't afford to go out and share the fun.

As a result many are tempted by drugs and booze inside the Palace and regularly end up serving Her Majesty while still out of their heads.

"At least a quarter of the staff I knew took drugs, admittted Scottish-born Sylvia.

"I'd never taken a thing before I got my job there.

Recalling her first brush with dope after joining the royal staff in 1992, she added:

"I'd only been at the Palace a few weeks when I was invited to a party on the footmen's floor. There were three other housemaids there. We all had a good drink and then started playing a forfeit game which involved knocking back glasses of booze in one go.

Then someone produced some poppers and we took them. By then I was pretty drunk and I just joined in with the others.

It was my first experience of drugs. To be honest I can't remember that much about it.

But I was shocked that it should happen with the Queen and the rest of the Royal Family sleeping only yards away.

Then I soon learned it's really crazy in there. Any excuse and they have a party - birthdays, holidays or leaving do's. And there are plenty of those!

The typical bash ends up with everyone totally drunk or stoned. And there's always someone getting off with someone they shouldn't, ending up in their room for the night.

There's so much bedhopping. I remember once some footmen had a competition over who could get off with the most housemaids in one evening.

The partying just went on and on. In the end we were sent a memo telling us to keep our music down. That was after a party which went on until 5am and the Queen had heard it in her bedroom."

how some housemaids sneak down to the nearby Army barracks looking for a good time. "The soldiers hold quite a few discos and impromptu parties, she said

"One girl became very drunk and actually got down to it with this guardsman in the middle of the ladies' loo.

"She didn't even bother going into a cubicle!

"At other times soldiers would sneak into our quarters for more of the same.

"Not surprisingly there are quite a few abortions and broken marriages at the Palace.

"The blokes find it easy to pull because girls outside are fascinated with the Palace and always ask if they've spoken to the Queen.

"There are so many inter-staff relationships and love triangles.

"After a Hallowe'en party there was hell to pay when one of the housemaids went to bed with a footman when she was suposed to be dating a butler. Scruffy

"Then another two girls had slanging matches because thev were both chasing the same man.

One of the Queen's footmen 22-year-old Barry Mitford of Walsall confirmed Sylvia's drug revelations and admitted popping pills and smoking cannabis.

"I'm not taking as much as I used to," he said. "It was getting too much.

"But when you're down these things give you a lift. It makes you feel happy.

And house porter Gordon Curry, 30, revealed he was also aware of drug-taking at the Palace. But he said the lad who used to supply cannabis had now left.

Speaking outside the Royal Mews, scouser Gordon still had on his official uniform under a scruffy coat as he confessed how he was nearly sacked and placed on two years' probation for brawling with another employee.

Then he admitted he had urinated on the Queen's toilet at Balmoral and had to clean up with one of the hand towels.

Their former colleague Sylvia claims drugs offered a temporary escape from the pressures of working and staying in the Palace.

"You have to live and breathe the job 24 hours a day, she said. "I had a room on a corridor with between 15 and 20 other housemaids.

"The walls are so thin and there are so many watching eyes that you can't keep a secret.

"Staff are treated like kids. you can't make phone calls after 10pm and visitors have to leave by midnight.

"In practice though, lots of us sneaked people in for the night. "I didn't take drugs that often. If I was offered some at a party or if I was really depressed I'd puff a joint out of the window looking down on the tourists below. I also did E's inside the Palace.

"But there were some people whose rooms always smelt of dope.

"And many turn to alcohol. They're knocking back spirits before lunchtime and don't stop.

"I dread to think what that's doing to their bodies.

"I remember after one particularly drunken night a housemaid fell asleep on the sofa of the Queen's drawing room in Windsor Castle.

"She had to be woken up by a page.

"The servants also often live it up in local pubs. one night there was a stag-do for a porter, with strippers performing sex acts on some of the staff.

According to Sylvia one old retainer gets his kicks in an even weirder way.

"This bloke's quite senior and has a thing about the royal baths, she giggled.

"He gets his pleasure by climbing into them. His number one target is the Queen's. When he knows the royals are out of the way he just jumps in the tub and splashes around."

And Sylvia claims a secret Palace pervert has plagued female staff by stealing their underwear

"It cost us a fortune," she declared. "Our panties and bras were going missing from the laundry and we all reckoned it was some transvestite dressing up in his room.

Some of the wildest staff parties are at Balmoral during the Queen's annual holiday in Scotland.

Sylvia told how one drinking session ended with an under-butler shaving the eyebrows off a chef.

"Next night the cook took revenge by dying the butler's hair bright blue," she recalled.

"He had to serve the Royal Family looking like that. The Queen didn't say a word, although the bloke was soon demoted to kitchen porter." Mooning

But skylarking was soon back on the menu - one of the Queen's cheeky chefs was even snapped mooning while preparing food at Balmoral in 1992.

And there were red faces when it was revealed how housemaids used to sunbathe topless high above the Mall on the roof of Buckingham Palace.

"Everything was OK until Prince Philip got a bird's eye view from his helicopter," disclosed Sylvia.

"I understand he wasn't bothered about it and found it quite amusing. But we were still instructed to cover up for fear of offending other guests."

In 1994 Sylvia finally had enough of life with the royals.

She admits the lack of privacy, low pay and being treated as an underling got to her.

"But the most worrying problem was the drugs, she said. "I'm so relieved I escaped.

"Prince Charles always spouts on green issues and staying healthy - he should look closer to home."

Name: News of the World Date: 12/5/96 Author: EBEN BLACK Political Correspondent
Clarke plans tax cut blitz to hit Labour

CHANCELLOR Kenneth Clarke is planning to blitz Labour by pledging to keep cutting taxes year after year.

Mr Clarke has angered right-wing Tories by ruling out a big pre-election tax 'bribe' to the voters. Some fear it is the only thing that can save them at the polls.

Right-winger Bill Cash, stormed: "This could cost us the General Election."

But one insider said: "The Chancellor believes rates can come down gradually year on year and Labour would not be able to do that."

Mr Clarke is expected to offer more, smaller cuts, promising prosperity well into the next ten years.

Tory insiders hope the long-term plan will wrongfoot Labour leader Tony Blair and Shadow Chancellor Gordon Brown, who claim they cannot give details of their plans.

Mr Clarke is expected to cut income tax by 2p in his Budget, taking it to 22p in the pound. Borrowing

The long-term aim is to bring everyone on basic rate tax down to 20p.

Labour will accuse the Tories of lying by claiming at the last election that tax would fall. They say tax rises until the 1p cut in the last Budget were the equivalent of 7p more.

The move away from big tax cuts comes as Government borrowing soars.

The Inland Revenue has written off enough uncollected tax to slash 3p off the basic rate.

Treasury figures show the Government has failed to collect tax of £4.8billion, including £1.1billion which has been written off.

Name: News of the World Date: 12/5/96 Author: GRAHAM DUNCAN in Miami
109 die as jet crashes in alligator swampland

A PASSENGER jet crashed in an alligator-infested swamp last night, killing all 109 people on board.

The DC-9 disappeared from radar screens just eight miles out of Miami airport on a flight to Atlanta.

Rescue teams said the plane disintegrated as it smashed into swampland on the edge of Florida's Everglades near a highway known as Alligator Alley.

The desperate search for survivors was being hampered by the soggy ground and fear of attack by the huge reptiles.

Air traffic controllers said the pilot reported smoke in the cockpit then turned back towards Miami seconds before the crash.

An ambulance source said: "It would be a miracle if anyone survived.

"The plane is in little pieces in an alligator-infested swamp. It's a terrible sight of damage." Cheap

A fire brigade spokesman said: "There will be a real problem with the alligators.

"We're having to approach the scene by airboats. It is impossible to get there either by vehicle or on foot.

"The nearest road is about two miles away across the swamp.

Weather conditions for flying were almost perfect with clear skies and virtually no wind.

The plane was run by American airline Valujet, which offers cheap fares.

Cabin crew and check-in agents wear T-shirts and shorts instead of formal uniforms

The airline last night denied its price-cutting had compromised safety.

Name: News of the World Date: 12/5/96 Author: Ian Edmondson
VIP TREATMENT FOR IRA VETERAN FORMER IRA terror boss Martin McGuinness is being given the red carpet treatment by London Weekend TV.

Sinn Fein bigwig McGuinness, 45 - whose party is the IRA's political wing - flew into Heathrow yesterday for an interview with Jonathan Dimbleby on ITV today (1.10pm).

He commanded the IRA in Londonderry in the early Seventies. Security sources have long believed he was once the terror group's chief of staff, but TV bosses are footing the bill for the controversial Irish republican and three of his cronies to stay in the lap of luxury at the £205-a-head Browns Hotel in exclusive Mayfair.

Arriving from Belfast, he said: "I'm looking forward to the interview very much." But when asked if he had any message for the families of British soldiers murdered by the IRA he refused to give an answer.

•The IRA came under new pressure to agree a ceasefire when Irish Cabinet Minister Proinsias de Rossa said the violence must stop so Sinn Fein could have a seat at all-party talks next month.

Name: News of the World Date: 12/5/96 Author: GARY JONES
Newborn tot found in freezer of tycoon EXCLUSIVE

POLICE are probing the death of a newborn baby whose body was found in a freezer.

The discovery was made at the home of multi-millionaire Michael Gifford head of leisure giant Rank.

His 20-year-old daughter Emma received immediate hospital treatment.

Police were called and began an investigation. The death is officially being treated as "suspicious".

A member of the family made the discovery while looking for a snack at the house in Chelsea, west London. Payoff

The baby is believed to have been in the freezer for several weeks. A post mortem was "inconclusive", a source said. Scotland Yard confirmed the raid and said two women were arrested.

A spokesman added: "A PC based at Edmonton faces a disciplinary inquiry in connection with alleged inappropriate behaviour."

PC Lai-Kit, an ex-bus driver, joined the force two years ago. He was unavailable last night. A pal said: "He won't speak to you - that's for sure."

Name: Daily Express Date: 13/5/96 Author:John Twomey and Lewis Smith
Grief of tycoon daughter's family BABY IN ICE BOX RIDDLE THE daughter of a tycoon was being comforted by her family last night after the body of a newborn baby boy was found in her freezer.

The grim discovery was made at the home of Emma Gifford, 20, whose father Michael is former chief executive of the Rank Organisation.

The baby was found by a relative who had gone to the freezer intending to prepare a meal. Police believe he could have been there for up to four weeks. They are treating the death as suspicious.

Emma lived with her brother in a basement flat at Onslow Gardens, in London's smart South Kensington.

She was booked in for medical treatment immediately after the body was found.

Detectives hope to speak to Emma within the next few days.

They are also anxious to speak to the baby's father, who had not been identified Freezer baby riddle to them last night. A preliminary post mortem after last week's find has failed to establish how the baby died. Detectives are awaiting the results of further tests.

In a terse statement yesterday Scotland Yard would only say: "Police at Kensington are investigating the circumstances surrounding the death of a new-born baby boy."

An officer involved in the case added: "We have spoken to and taken witness statements from the mother and other people involved.

"There have been no arrests and at this stage we are in no position to say if there will be any."

A neighbour of Emma's said yesterday: "A brother and sister lived in the basement but I did not know much about them.

"No one knew anything about the police being there or a baby's body being found."

The flat is in the basement of a smart, white painted, four-storey Edwardian house overlooking a square. Emma is one of the tycoon Mr Gifford's four children - two from each of his earlier marriages.

There was no reply at his home in Little Chart, Kent, yesterday where he lives with his third wife Nancy, an American, though the grim-faced couple did venture out for a walk.

The couple married last year after Mr Gifford's divorce from his second wife, Swedish-born Asa Lundin.

The 60-year-old was chief executive of the £3 billion bingo-to-Butlin's Rank Organisation for 12 years until his retirement last month.

His salary was around £400,000 a year and he had share options which earned him an extra £428,000 in 1994.

As well as his country home Mr Gifford had a small flat above Rank's London HQ for business use.

A former colleague said last night: "He is a very private man who does not welcome personal publicity.

"None of his family was employed by the company."

Name: Daily Express Date: 13/5/96 Author: Paul Fuller
Britons on crash jet

TWO Britons were among the dead on the jet which crashed into a Florida swamp, it was revealed last night.

They were named by airline officials as Roger and Devlin Loughney.

But as rescuers last night abandoned the search for bodies in the alligator-infested Everglades, there was no other information about them.

All 109 passengers and crew were killed when the DC9 operated by cut-price airline ValuJet crashed just a few minutes into a flight from Miami to Atlanta, Georgia. ValuJet spokesman Gregg Kenyon said: "It appears the two Britons made their reservation with a travel agency in the United States.

"We have no details of their ages or their home towns or their passports. This is the only information we have from the flight list."

ValuJet has been plagued with problems since it began operating in October 1993. But president Lewis Jordan denied his airline had taken any shortcuts on safety.

Name: Daily Express Date: 13/5/96 Author: Emily Compston in Miami
Swamp that swallowed crash jet RESCUE workers found almost no trace yesterday of an airliner which crashed with more than 100 passengers in alligator-infested swampland.

There were no survivors, and by last night the only clues discovered were baby clothing, a photo album and chunks of metal the size of a baseball cap.

A fisherman who saw the DC9 jet crash said: "After the explosion there was no smoke. It was like nothing ever happened."

The plane, belonging to cut-price airline ValuJet, plunged into the swamp 20 minutes after taking off from Miami international airport, Florida, for Atlanta.

The rescue teams, armed with rifles for fear of encountering alligators or rattlesnakes, called off their search for survivors.

Luis Fernandez of the Metro-Dade fire service said no one could have survived the difficult conditions.

And another rescue leader Frank Ireland, said: "By tomorrow the gators will have gotten to them."

Fishermen Sam Nelson, who was on a boat half a mile from the crash site, said: "All of a sudden the plane made a right turn. I don't know what it was doing. It looked like it was trying to go back up. It was pretty low.

"It kind of turned sideways then it just nose dived, straight down into the swamp.

"The last thing I saw was the tail end going down. There was a big, big explosion. You could hear the motor, like it was under full power.

"That thing hit so hard you couldn't even see it."

Rescuers who struggled to get to the scene found only charred grassland and small pieces of debris scattered over a large area.

The bulk of the fuselage was not visible - it had sunk beneath the murky waters of the Everglades.

There were fears that sparks from boats could ignite fuel from the plane. The first divers to search the area suffered chemical burns. Army salvage experts may be called in to construct temporary bridges. Part of the marshland could be drained, by opening up sluice gates in the canals that run through the Everglades, in a bid to recover the bulk of the wreckage.

Fire chief Fernandez said the work was emotionally exhausting for his crews.

"We have not found any survivors and we have not found any victims," he said. "All we have found are articles of clothing and a photo album.

"They say it is very difficult as they have families themselves.

"As time goes by there really is no hope of finding any survivors. There is nowhere for the victims to hide. It's a long arduous search. We don't know how much of the fuselage has been swallowed up by the mud."

"It is a very dangerous situation for the rescuers. They have no firm ground to stand on."

In a message from the White House, President Clinton said: "All Americans join Hillary and me in offering our hopes and prayers to the families and friends of those aboard the ValuJet flight that has so tragically crashed near Miami."

Flight 592, carrying 104 passengers and five crew, went down only 15 miles north west of Miami. After the crew reported smoke in the cockpit the pilot tried to turn the plane round and return to Miami. But radio contact was lost shortly afterwards.

Investigators will try to find the plane's black box flight recorder. Flying conditions were said to be good at the time of the crash.

Official reports have revealed that the DC9 had been sent back to airports on seven occasions in its 27-year history after faults were detected.

On December 29, 1972, an Eastern Airlines jet with 176 people on board crashed near the spot.

Name: Daily Express Date: 13/5/96 Author: Ashley Walton
IN DEEPEST SURREY, SIMPSON DODGES QUESTIONS - AND THE RULES OJ finds that golf can be a bit of a trial

THE questions were driven home with the ruthlessness of a Nick Faldo tee-shot.

And fallen all-American hero OJ Simpson looked a shocked as Greg Norman as each blow hit its target. "Did you kill your wife?"

"Why was your blood found at the scene?"

"Why did you not take the stand at your trial?"

OJ blinked. This wasn't his idea of a gentle morning's sport.

The man controversially cleared of murdering his wife Nicole made his name in the rough and tumble of American football.

But here he was getting far tougher treatment yesterday on the first tee of an English golf course - facing all the crucial questions he was never asked at last year's trial in Los Angeles.

Simpson looked away with a shocked expression on his face. Then he took a battered kid glove out of his pocket.

For a moment it seemed to the watching crowd of fans and reporters as if he was about to show us, just as he did in his TV trial, that the crucial evidence didn't fit. But this glove fitted all right. And with a waggle of his metal-headed driver, OJ cracked the ball straight down the first fairway at Selsdon Park, Surrey.

"I'm here to play golf not answer questions," he said. But it was OJ - or rather his British agent Max Clifford - who had invited the Press along.

Perhaps he thought the sight of him playing a sport renowned for its high standards of behaviour would boost his public image.

When he arrived at Heathrow on Saturday he was greeted by chants of "murderer".

Clifford, who is looking after OJ's interests during his visit to Britain for a TV interview with Richard and Judy today and a confrontation at the Oxford Union tomorrow, insisted: "My client will not be talking about his trial."

OJ is receiving a token £1 for his TV appearance, but Granada has paid around £17,000 to Clifford and others for "expenses".

Selsdon Park is mentioned in the Domesday Book and its 1,000-year history includes visits from King Alfred and Henry VIII. But it has never witnessed scenes like OJ's nine holes.

He was pursued at every turn by a mob of fans and journalists.

During his trial, the defence claimed that OJ suffered from arthritis and was incapable of stabbing Nicole and her friend Ronald Goodman in the driveway of her home. But there was no sign of his affliction on the golf course as he belted the ball more than 200 yards.

It would be churlish to accuse OJ of being economical with the truth, but he certainly managed to bend the rules of golf.

He teed off twice and men produced a third ball which he dropped on to the fairway.

He said afterwards he broke the rules just for the cameras.

At the end of nine holes he claimed to have beaten his opponent, golf magazine journalist Richard Baker, although no one saw the score card.

But then who would accuse OJ Simpson of lying?

Name: Daily Express Date: 13/5/96
SINGER LIAM PITCHES INTO RIVAL STAR AT CHARITY MATCH Take That says Oasis bad boy SELF-styled badboy Liam Gallagher lived down to his reputation yesterday when he took part in a charity football match.

Dressed in an outsize shirt and a floppy fisherman's hat Oasis wildman Liam screamed obscenities at photographers before flooring Blur heart-throb Damon Albarn in a flying bearhug. Cheered on by thousands of teenagers, Liam put his arm round Damon as if to say sorry, before suddenly pulling the embarrassed singer's shorts to his knees.

But he soon got a kiss from former Take That hunk Robbie Williams who delighted thousands of fans when he jogged on to the pitch at the Mile End stadium in East London. He joined other players Jarvis Cocker from Pulp, up and coming band The Bluetones and Brit Award winners Massive Attack.

Robbie, who scored a goal said: "I just never expected this kind of welcome. When I left Take That my self-confidence really hit rock bottom. But to see the reaction of the fans today is a tremendous buzz."

Name: Daily Express Date: 13/5/96 Author: Lisa Reynolds
Did stress kill father of school strike superyob? Philip, 56, dies from a coronary

THE father of violent schoolboy Richard Wilding has died of a suspected heart attack.

Jobless Philip Wilding, who had battled against his son being expelled from school, collapsed and died on Saturday.

His distraught family refused to rule out the possibility that the stress of the case had led to his sudden death. Last month teachers threatened to strike unless 13-year-old Richard was removed from his Nottingham school.

He is now receiving a special £15,000-a-year education away from the school. The disruptive youngster was last night said to be "very upset" by his 56-year-old father's death.

He was being comforted at the family's home in Bilborough, Nottingham, by his mother Rita, 34.

Mrs Wilding was too upset to talk. But her sister Teresa Mellors told how Richard and his brothers Robert, 15, Raymond, 10, and Ricky, eight, were coping with the news. She said: "I don't think it has sunk in yet with the boys but obviously they are very upset."

Although the couple regularly greeted reporters with four-letter words at their council house, they gave regular TV interviews.

"We will fight this all the way," they vowed. But little did they know that in taking on the media they would have to face up to their own lives coming under close scrutiny.

Within days it emerged that Mrs Wilding had been convicted of assaulting a council housing officer.

His back injuries were so severe that he has been on sick leave ever since the incident in 1992 and still needs crutches to walk. The couple had already successfully appealed to an independent committee after Richard was expelled in January for violence and disruptive behaviour.

Six weeks later the boy returned to the classroom at the 600-pupil school.

Staff at Nottingham's Glaisdale Comprehensive called off their threatened strike over his return when an 11th-hour agreement was struck.

The arrangement, put forward by Nottinghamshire County Council, allows Richard to be taught half in a Pupil Referral Unit for children with special needs and half by tutors at home.

It means his education is costing more than a place at Eton.

Name: Daily Express Date: 13/5/96
We blundered on tax rates admits Clarke

CHANCELLOR Kenneth Clarke admitted yesterday that the Tories made a mess of the economy in the run-up to the last General Election, writes Political Editor Nicholas Wood.

They cut taxes only to find themselves plunged deep into debt as the recession lasted far longer than they had expected. People were "hurt" as promises were broken and taxes raised to try to balance the books.

Insisting that there would be no repeat of past mistakes, Mr Clarke again poured cold water on hopes of big tax cuts this autumn.

But the Chancellor's candour failed to placate Right-wing Tories, who yesterday renewed their demands for spending cuts and a break-out from the tough financial controls imposed by the quest for a single European currency.

Although he made made no reference to the disastrous ERM excursion, Mr Clarke's remarks were still the frankest confession by a senior Minister of the blunders that have undermined confidence in Tory economic competence.

He said on BBC TV's on The Record: "We are still winning back the confidence of the people. Last time we made a genuine mistake. We thought the recession was nearly over, we committed ourselves to tax cuts, and then we found the recession went on.

"We got heavily into debt and we put up taxation. I inherited the job of putting up taxation and we hurt people. They remember those promises and they remember the taxes."

But he said that others now seemed "to think that all you have got to do is cut taxes and people win vote for you. I think the public are not that stupid. People who think that tax cuts equal election victory are seriously mistaken."

Name: The Sun Date: 13/5/96 Author: JOHN ASKILL in Surfers Paradise, Australia
BARRY SHEENE IN SEX QUIZ GRAND prix idols Barry Sheen and Gerhard Berger have been quizzed by police over an alleged sex attack on a teenage beauty.

Blonde Melanie Hilzinger, 19, claimed the race aces groped her breasts. She said yesterday: "It wasn't rape, but they both touched my body." But lawyers for ex-world bike champ Sheene, 46, and Berger, 36, last night DENIED her story and accused her of inventing the assault to extort money from the two multi-millionaires.

Spokesman Michael King said: "My clients will fight to the end of the day to prove the allegations are false."

Aussie stunner Melanie, who looks like blonde Annalise in TV's Neighbours, claimed the attack happened at Surfers Paradise, Sheene - dubbed "Bionic Barry" after his shattered legs were repaired with 23 metal screws following a 1982 race crash - -moved there from England nine years ago. Petite 5ft Melanie said sun-bronzed Sheene approached her at a cafe in the shopping centre where she works in a men's outfitters.

He invited her to meet Benetton ace Berger, who was taking a break before the Australian Grand Prix.

She told police that when she agreed to the meeting, both men fondled her near a rest-room and loo complex at the centre.

But lawyer King said: "She only made the complaint after consulting her much older partner."

He said Sheene and Austrian pal Berger "totally co-operated" when questioned in March.

Berger was quizzed just two days before practice began for the Melbourne grand prix opening race of the current Formula One season. Police said a report had gone to Queensland's Director of Prosecution, who will decide if the two men should face a court.

Mr King said: "The officer in this case has told me he doesn't believe my clients will be convicted of any offence."

Sheene, world champion in 1976 and 1977, was awarded the MBE for his services to motor racing.

He now runs a property development and helicopter business.

At the home he shares with wife Stephanie and their two children he refused to comment on the case. He said: "I'd love to, but my solicitor advised me to say nothing."

Name: The Sun Date: 13/5/96 Author: ANTONELLA LAZZERI in Deya, Majorca
HOLI DI SIGNS IN AS 'MRS DO NOT TOUCH' PRINCESS DI giggled as she swam in a torrential downpour yesterday - after it was revealed she checked in to her holiday hotel under the name D N Touch, for Do Not Touch.

The barbed "alias" was an indicator of Diana's mood as she fled to Majorca following her bust-up with The Queen over divorce negotiations with Prince Charles.

She kept a low profile after checking in at the plush La Residencia - owned by Virgin tycoon Richard Branson - until hr - daring dip.

Di, 34, looking gorgeous in a slinky black swimsuit, had the pool to herself as the temperature plummeted and the heavens opened.

She dived in and swam 30 lengths - delighted to have the pool to herself. And as other guests took shelter, the playful Princess laughed at the rain.

Two guests hiding under an umbrella shouted: "You're very brave." Diana replied: "No - just mad"

Later Di giggled like a schoolgirl over lunch with Lady Cosima Somerset, who was sharing her £450-a-night suite. Flirting

The relaxed Princess had another giggling fit after she flirted with a handsome young Spanish waiter called Carlos.

The holiday companions had signed into the plush hotel at Deya in the north of the island on Friday.

It boasts three swimming pools, tennis courts, a gym and a Michelin-starred restaurant.

Before Diana's arrival, a guest wearing an Arsenal shirt was told: "Take that off and go and smarten yourself up. We have someone very important coming."

Staff spent all Friday morning practising how to say: "Welcome, Your Highness."

Most of the 150 guests had no idea Diana was there - At times she borrowed her friend's book An Unquiet Mind - one woman's account of how she conquered a manic-depressive illness which nearly claimed her life.

The writer tells how she was pulled back from the brink of insanity by drugs, courage and love.

With the weather poor, Diana spent most of her break in the hotel's beauty salon, called Virgin Touch, having treatments including an aromatherapy massage.

She also opened a flood of fan mail sent to the hotel.

Di giggled as she read one out to Lady Somerset over lunch.

She said: "How sweet, he says, 'I feel very sorry for your plight and if you ever need anyone to talk to please contact me. Isn't that nice?"

When she checked out of the hotel Diana told staff: "I've had three days of pampering. It's been bliss."

The Princess flew back to Britain last night.

Name: The Sun Date: 13/5/96
IRA puts hold on ceasefire

THE IRA has ruled out a new ceasefire before next month's all-party peace talks, Republican sources said yesterday.

Provo chiefs insist John Major must guarantee the meetings will not collapse over calls to hand in arms. An IRA source said: "There is real mistrust."

Sinn Fein's Martin McGuinness warned pre-conditions would be "disastrous."

Name: The Sun Date: 13/5/96 Author: Ian Hepburn
Dead baby in freezer probe

THE body of a baby boy found in a freezer was undergoing more tests last night as police tried to establish how he died.

The newborn tot was discovered at the luxury home of a multi-millionaire businessman's daughter.

Emma Gifford, 20, was taken to hospital for treatment immediately after the discovery.

The body wrapped in a carrier bag was reportedly found by Emma's brother Kris who had gone to get a snack. Results of a post mortem examination were inconclusive and further tests were ordered.

A Scotland Yard source said: "It's a terrible tragedy for the whole family. We need to establish if the baby was still-born, died of natural causes or was murdered."

But he confirmed: "There have been no arrests."

The baby is believed to have been in the freezer at the £225,000 flat in Kensington West London for several weeks.

Police are anxious to trace its father, said to be a student who was a long-standing boyfriend of Emma until they split a month ago.

Emma's dad Michael Gifford 60, retired in April as chief executive of the Rank leisure empire. He is due to collect a £1million payoff.

He divorced his second wife Asa last year.

Name: The Sun Date: 13/5/96 Author: From NEIL SYSON in NEW YORK
2 BRITS AMONG DEAD IN PLANE HORROR

A BRITISH couple were among the 109 killed in Saturday's Florida jet crash, it was revealed last night.

The pair, who have not been named, reserved seats on the doomed ValuJet Flight 592 after arriving in the U.S.

The DC-9 ditched into an alligator-infested swamp in the Everglades, 15 miles from Miami. There were no survivors.

Rescuers, also hampered by poisonous snakes, abandoned the search last night. They had found no bodies and little debris. Swallowed

The shattered aircraft heading for Atlanta, was swallowed up by more than five feet of thick mud beneath the chest-deep water.

Search teams reported finding "nothing bigger than a baseball cap."

Two pilots reported seeing the 27-year-old plane hit the swamp at a 75-degree angle.

BUSINESSMAN Terry Huckabee told yesterday how he missed the flight after he overslept.

Terry, from Atlanta said: "The desk agent told me: 'It's the luckiest day of your life'."

Name: Daily Star Date: 13/5/96 Author: Jackie Burdon
THE BEST OF ENEMIES Warring stars get kick out of soccer friendly

THEY'RE usually deadly rivals. You wouldn't invite them to the same rave and expect the building to be standing in the morning.

But yesterday Blur's Damon Albarn and Oasis's Liam Gallagher put on a united front at pop's ultimate friendly. The pair from supposedly warring bands strolled on to the pitch side by side at a charity soccer tournament in London's East End - and there wasn't an insult to be heard.

Thousands of teenage girls lining the Mile End Stadium seemed to have little appreciation of the finer points of six-a-side.

But they screamed lustily at every sight of stars including Jarvis Cocker of Pulp and fellow team member, former Take That heart-throb Robbie Williams.

Blur and Oasis had specified they did not want to meet in the early stage of The Music Industry Soccer Six because of lingering fears that a clash might spark fan rivalry.

Both were quickly knocked out.

Damon was the sole band member on his team, which included manager Andy Sheehan and pop industry workers.

Damon said: "The rest of the band aren't fit enough. They are not up to physical exercise."

Liam loped on to the pitch in a Kangol hat and tracksuit pants, clowning it up for the crowd with a can of beer in his hand. Streaker

"Noel is coming along later, but he's just going to watch," he said.

Despite a goal from striker Liam, Oasis lost to Northern Uproar and Pulp - and Noel still had not arrived.

A streaker dashed on to the pitch during Oasis's match against Pulp. She failed to reach any of the stars and was thrown out by security guards.

Pulp got through to the quarter-finals with the help of Robbie Williams.

Jarvis sat on the sidelines for some of the game against Oasis, coming on as a substitute for Robbie Williams at half-time.

The lanky singer arrived late for the event.

"I just came back from my holidays in Hawaii yesterday so I'm a bit jet-lagged," he said.

Surprisingly perhaps for a group of hard-living pop stars on a Sunday morning, the standard of the tournament was enthusiastic and fast moving, if occasionally breathless.

Other bands to take part included The Blue Tones, Apollo 440, Dodgy, Gene, Massive Attack and Reef.

Northern Uproar's Leon Meya said: "There's a lot of coughing on the sidelines. Liam is magnificent - like Colin Bell for City." He said all the reports about rivalry between bands was rubbish. "Everybody gets on with each other," he said. "We are all in the same changing rooms.

"All that matters is writing classic rock 'n' roll songs, and if you can do that, you're all right."

The tournament was in aid of the Nordoff-Robbins Music Therapy Centre in Battersea, south London, which uses music to develop the potential of disabled children.

Name: Daily Star Date: 13/5/96 Author: Joe Quinn
No tax bribe vows Ken

VOTERS will not be bribed with "hell-for-leather" tax cuts before the General Election, Chancellor Kenneth Clarke vowed yesterday.

He said he would not throw away Conservative achievements by slashing taxes. And he blasted critics in his party who want him to buy victory.

Mr Clarke rapped: "Those who believe if I took a penny off income tax we might just about have a photo-finish to the election, with tuppence off we'd have a bit of a working majority and with threepence off we'd have a working majority, I think are treating the public as idiots." But he claimed that he still hoped to deliver a 20p basic rate if the Tories are reselected.

He said: "I don't think tax cuts come-what-may, hell-for-leather - making tax cuts that can't actually be afforded - will win us any votes. Damaged

"It certainly would not do any good to the economy. So I shall make tax cuts if we can afford them, only if we can afford them, and this year who knows?"

He admitted the BSE crisis had damaged hopes of tax cuts. It will cost the Government £1 billion this year but that would come from £2.5 billion reserves.

Mr Clarke added: "I am a tax-cutting Chancellor, by instinct. But this is a sophisticated world. When I cut taxes you will know they will last."

The Chancellor also defended his stand on a European single currency.

He said: "We are not going to opt out of it so completely that we let the others go ahead - then try and join late when they have already made the rules.

"If on the other hand it is part of some greater political plan for Europe, I certainly will be among the first to say keep out of it."

Name: Daily Star Date: 13/5/96 Author: JOE QUINN
Ceasefire hopes are shattered HOPES of a ceasefire before all-party talks on Ulster were wrecked yesterday.

Sinn Fein urged John Major not to put up the "obstacle" of decommissioning of weapons first.

Republican sources in Belfast scotched reports of an end to violence.

Buzz

The Premier had to give guarantees the negotiations are genuine, they said.

There was "mistrust" and it was felt Mr Major was buying time.

Martin McGuinness of Sinn Fein said an IRA ceasefire was a necessity before talks could start on June 10.

Sinn Fein will participate in the May 30 election to the Northern Ireland forum but successful candidates won't take their seats.

Name: Daily Star Date: 13/5/96
despite teachers' threats to strike if he wasn't removed.

Fed-up staff dropped their demand after the Government agreed to fork out £15,000 a year on private tuition for Richard, 13.

Mr Wilding died in Nottingham's Queen's Medical Centre on Saturday night soon after complaining of chest pains. Yesterday, shocked wife Rita, 34, was too upset to talk at her semi-detached council home in Bilborough Nottingham.

But her sister, Salvation Army worker Teresa Mellors, said: "She is devastated.

"It's up to individuals to say if the pressure of his son's schooling affected Philip's health.

"But one thing is for sure - life is going to be very difficult for my sister from now on."

She said Philip had been visiting his father-in-law on Saturday when he was struck down by chest pains.

Asked how Richard and brothers Raymond, 10, and Ricky, eight, were coping Teresa added: "I don't think it has sunk in, but obviously they are very upset." Police said the cause of Mr Wilding's death wasn't being treated as suspicious.

Last month a deal was reached with 20 staff at Glaisdale Comprehensive just a day before they were due to go on indefinite strike.

Richard had been permanently excluded from school in January for threatening a staff member and attacking a pupil with a chair.

He was allowed back six weeks later after an appeal.

Last night one neighbour said: "The family are nothing but trouble. There won't be many tears shed round here."

Name: Daily Star Date: 13/5/96 Author: Peter Bond
Fears over jet plunge but Brits told... DON'T PANIC OLD airliners used by charter holiday firms are "perfectly safe", an expert insisted yesterday.

David Learmount was eager to calm the fears of Brit tourists heading for the sun this summer after a 27-year-old jet crashed 10,000 feet from the skies above Florida at the weekend.

All 109 people aboard the DC9, including two Britons, were killed. Airline officials named the British pair as Roger and Devlin Loughney.

The pilot of the Atlanta-bound flight from Miami reported a fire moments before the plane hit the Everglades swamps "like a bullet".

But Mr Learmount, editor of Flight International, declared: "Years don't count in the life of an aircraft. What matters is the number of stress cycles (take-offs and landings) it has completed.

"For the average holiday jet, that figure is about 90,000. So if the aircraft has been well maintained - and servicing of planes is regularly monitored - an old jet is just as safe as a new one."

ValuJet, owners of the DC9 which sank into muddy water infested with thousands of alligators and venomous snakes, offer cheap flights on old aircraft. But safety standards have never been compromised, say aviation watchdogs. Fear

The pilot radioed that there was smoke on the flight deck and was attempting to return to Miami when the jet disappeared off radar screens … with one witness saying the plane burst into a million jagged pieces on impact and that none of the 104 passengers or five crew could still be alive

Emergency rescuers, who quickly called off their search for survivors, could not get close because the swamp was covered in aviation fuel and one spark might have triggered an inferno. But they are also working in fear of the deadly wildlife … gators which are 18 feet long and Cottonmouth snakes that kill with one bite.

As fire crews collected anti-venom serum from a local zoo, an initial plan was agreed to build a makeshift road to the site.

But co-ordinator Luis Fernandez declared: "It's still going to be a nightmare trying to recover the bodies... or what's left of them.

"The spilt fuel could also ignite at any time. At some stage, though, divers will have to go into find the voice and flight data recorders."

The DC9, formerly owned by Turkish Airlines, was last inspected just five days ago. ValuJet company president Lewis Jordan said he had no idea what could have caused the accident.

But Federal Aviation Authority records show the aircraft was forced to return to airports SEVEN times in the past two years because of technical difficulties.

Fire

Last summer the FAA announced special inspections of the company's fleet following a major incident in June.

A fire destroyed one of ValuJet's DC9s on a runway in Atlanta, Georgia, but all passengers and crew escaped unhurt. Another of the firm's DC9s got stuck in mud at the same airport last January. And that was followed by a jet with 30 people aboard sliding into a snowbank at Dulles Airport, Washington.

But no significant safety deficencies were found with the fleet after the inspections, said officials.

And expert Mr Learmount emphasised: "While many charter firms in Britain use modern aircraft, even if people find they're aboard a 25-year-old plane there's NOTHING to worry about.

"Airlines have two methods of acquiring passenger aircraft. They buy new at a serious capital outlay and have low maintenance costs ... or secondhand and incur high maintenance expenditure.

"Either way, the jets are safe."

Name: Daily Mirror Date: 13/5/96 Author: Don Mackay and Howard Sounes
OJ ON THE RUN FROM DAILY MIRROR

FREED OJ Simpson was sensationally put on the rack by the Mirror yesterday.

We collared the star as he flew into Britain and demanded answers to questions he has dodged since being cleared of murdering his wife Nicole. As news of the grilling went round the world, OJ said: "I loved Nicole - I've thought of suicide."

Name: Daily Mirror Date: 13/5/96 Author: Don Mackay, Ted Oliver and Howard Sounes
Where were you on the night your wife was murdered?

OJ SIMPSON played a round of golf yesterday - and was left flailing in the rough when the Daily Mirror demanded: Where were you on the night your wife was murdered?

The bogeyman of TV's trial of the century, in Britain to star on Richard and Judy's new chat show, tried to laugh off our questions.

But he was clearly rattled when the Mirror continued to press him over the stabbing of estranged wife Nicole, 35, and her friend Ron Goldman, 26, in Los Angeles in 1994.

Simpson, sensationally cleared of murder last October, will appear tonight on the ITV show hosted by Richard Madeley and Judy Finnigan.

Many still believe the former American football hero and Naked Gun film star was guilty.

There were angry cries of "Murderer!" when he flew into Heathrow on Saturday.

So the Mirror decided to confront 48-year-old OJ with the questions he must answer if he is ever to be fully accepted as innocent. Caught

Our quiz was so penetrating that our reporters made a news story that was flashed around the world by the international agency Reuters.

We first caught up with Simpson at London's Hyde Park Hotel where he is staying in a œ1,000-a-night two-bedroom suite at the expense of Granada TV. Bodyguards ushered him from the hotel to a gold-coloured chauffeur-driven Jaguar car.

A Granada TV minder said OJ would not be saying anything, but Simpson wound down a window in response to our reporter's request.

"We are from the Daily Mirror," said the reporter. OJ - in a green sweater, fawn trousers and loaded down with heavy gold jewellery - smiled.

We asked: "Could you tell us where you were between 9.36 and 10.54 on the night of the murder?"

OJ was clearly shocked. His eyes rolled back in his head.

Another question: "Why would you not take the witness stand, Mr Simpson?"

OJ was now grinning broadly but he was still saying nothing and fumbling for the switch to close the electric window.

Not quick enough. "Perhaps you could explain why your blood type was found at the murder scene, Mr Simpson?"

With that, the window shot up, the Jaguar made a U-turn in front of the hotel, bringing traffic screeching to a halt, then raced off down Knightsbridge. Forty minutes later the limo swept into the Selsdon Park golf course in Surrey, and once again we were firing questions.

Daily Mirror: "If you are innocent why did you refuse to give evidence during the trial?"

OJ refuses to reply.

Mirror: "How were traces of blood found at Nicole Simpson's home?"

OJ shakes his head. Brutal Mirror: "Why were traces of Nicole's blood - and that of Ron Goldman who died with her - discovered at your house?"

OJ remains silent and ties the laces of his golf shoes.

Mirror: "Why did you change your story three times about what you were doing on the tragic night of the brutal double murder in June 1994?"

OJ has no chance to answer as his public relations guru Max Clifford steps in and says: "This is only a photo opportunity. You know he's not going to answer these questions. Please respect his wishes." But the Mirror wasn't going to be fobbed off.

And we threw more questions as he walked to the first tee.

Mirror: "Why did you fail a lie detector test just after the bodies were found?"

OJ: Complete silence.

Mirror: "Are you going to answer any questions about the case at all?"

OJ looks down at gravel path and shakes his head firmly.

He tried to chat about golf, but had clearly become ruffled. "I was playing off 10 before I was incarcerated," he said.

"But for some reason that dropped to four during the time I was in jail. I haven't played much recently and I'm very rusty."

OJ, using a golf buggy because of his arthritis, only managed to play nine holes.

The nearest he came to any comment over his 11-0 not guilty verdict was at the green of the par-five first hole.

As he eventually sank a putt, he threw his arms in the air and shouted: "I've got a 12."

Sunday morning golfers were astonished over the pandemonium that swirled around Simpson's visit. Security men and minders trailed his buggy followed by a column of 50 cameramen and TV crews.

As he stunted a shot for the cameras, OJ wryly told photographers to keep out of the way.

"Look boys, this is a dangerous game," he said.

He admitted having an "upfront bet" with his partner, golf writer Richard Baker.

"Did you win?" we asked.

"I always win, the guy owes me a few beers," said OJ, whose trial in Los Angeles last year held America spellbound. Viewers

Simpson claimed the woman who shouted "Murderer!" at Heathrow had been put up to it by an American TV company.

He said: "One US TV company paid a woman to wave a sign saying 'Go away OJ'."

He denied that he was looking for a bolt-hole home in Britain. "LA is my home," said OJ, who is bringing up his two young children by Nicole.

Granada TV say OJ is being paid only one pound for tonight's live interview. But they are spending at least £17,000 giving their star VIP treatment.

Name: Daily Mirror Date: 13/5/96
WHAT'S YER STORY

OASIS star Liam Gallagher looked like he needed a wonderwall of defenders yesterday as he squared up to pop rival Damon Albarn.

The pair came eye to eye as they battled it out on the soccer pitch instead of in the charts.

But the confrontation was just for fun in the friendly game between Oasis and a team fielded by Blur's Damon. The pair even strolled hand in hand on to the pitch, cheered by thousands of girl fans at the charity tournament in London's Mile End stadium.

But it wasn't morning glory for Liam and co - Damon's team cruised to a 2-0 win in the match, staged to entertain fans after the tournament.

Both groups had ruled out a clash during the tournament in case it sparked rivalry among fans. But in the event they were both knocked out in the first round.

Damon was the sole band member on his team, which also included manager Andy Sheehan and industry insiders.

"The rest of the band aren't fit enough - they aren't up to physical exercise," he said.

Liam was consoled in defeat by his girlfriend, actress Patsy Kensit - reunited after their third split in eight months. Their latest row was over Liam's links with model Kate Moss.

Liam said: "Me and Kate are just friends. I love Patsy and she loves me."

Former Take That star Robbie Williams turned out for the Oasis team for the game - after helping Pulp get through to the finals of the tournament.

Pulp's Jarvis Cocker smoked a cigarette as he watched from the sidelines - then Jarvis went on as a substitute for Robbie who stood drinking a can of lager.

Name: Daily Mirror Date: 13/5/96
BRITS DIE IN GATOR JET CRASH Snakes hamper rescue TWO Britons were among 109 people killed when a jet airliner crashed into an alligator-infested swamp.

Roger and Devlin Loughney perished along with other passengers and crew as the DC-9 plunged into marshes in the Florida Everglades 15 miles away from Miami.

The Foreign Office was last night unable to confirm any details of the pair, but US aviation officials said they had booked seats on the flight through a travel agent in America.

A spokesman said: "We know nothing about them at this moment."

Yesterday rescuers called off the hunt for survivors from Valujet flight number 592 which crashed just eight minutes after take off from Miami airport on Saturday night.

The captain of the 27-year-old plane - which was bound for Atlanta, Georgia - reported smoke in the cockpit before the aircraft disappeared from air traffic control radar. Deadly Before the hunt for survivors was called off, marksmen with hunting rifles had been guarding rescuers from alligators lurking in the murky waters.

Divers also faced the threat of deadly rattlesnakes during their grim task.

Thousands of gallons of spilled aviation fuel added to the hazards faced by emergency teams.

A spokesman for Miami fire department said: "It's a very dangerous situation for the rescuers. We have anti-venom from the local zoo in case of snake attack.

"All our staff were warned to watch for alligators. There are thousands of them out there.

"We have spotters and armed rangers whose only job is to look out for alligators.

"They approached with extreme stealth."

The wreckage is lying under 10ft of water 3000 yards from the nearest road. It can only be reached by helicopter or airboats usually used for tourist rides.

A police spokesman said: "It's going to take the better part of a week to get all the bodies out."

ValuJet has been plagued by safety problems since it began operating in 1993.

Last year a cabin fire destroyed a plane.

But the aircraft which crashed at the weekend passed an inspection in October.

Name: Daily Mirror Date: 13/5/96 Author: Bill Daniels
School bad boy dad dies

THE father of a violent 13-year-old boy who school staff refused to teach has collapsed and died.

Philip Wilding was involved in a row over his son Richard when teachers threatened a strike after the boy's expulsion had been overruled.

It was eventually agreed that Richard - allegedly involved in more than 30 incidents - would attend a special needs unit and be tutored at home.

Mr Wilding 56, of Bilborough, Nottingham, reluctantly accepted the arrangement two weeks ago, saying he was "extremely disappointed". Difficult

On Saturday he collapsed at home from a suspected heart attack and died later in hospital.

Last night Richard, mum Rita, 34, and the rest of the Wilding family - including the boy's two younger brothers - were "absolutely devastated".

Mrs Wilding's sister Teresa Mellors said: "This came out of the blue.

"It is up to you to say if the pressure of his son's schooling had an effect on his health.

"One thing is for sure - life is going to be very difficult for my sister."

Richard was originally expelled from Glaisdale comprehensive in Nottingham after alleged threats to pupils and staff.

Name: Independent on Sunday Date: 4/12/94 Author: Stephen Castle and Paul Routledge
Tory MPs want rebels reinstated

SENIOR right-wing Conservatives are demanding the speedy reinstatement of rebel MPs stripped of the Tory whip on Monday in the vote over spending on Europe as John Major faces a critical new test of his authority this week over the doubling of VAT on fuel.

With Tuesday's vital vote said to be on a knife-edge leading figures in the backbench 1922 Committee raised fresh questions about Mr Major's grip on his party by calling for the rapid return of the whip to the Euro-rebels.

David Evans, a member of the executive of the 1922 Committee said: "The longer this feud between the government and the nine goes on, the worse it will get. The party has to decide when they get the whip back. As far as I am concerned it should be as soon as possible ( today. All the government is doing is punishing itself."

Another member of the executive said the whip should be restored "early in the New Year".

Their case has been bolstered by new research showing that Conservative constituency members increasingly back the Eurosceptic policies of the nine MPs, eight of whom lost the whip because they abstained in a division on European Union contributions (one subsequently resigned the whip).

Paul Whiteley and Patrick Seyd, of Sheffield University's politics department, found that the proportion of members opposing further European integration has risen from 54 per cent to 61 per cent over the lasttwo years. Those agreeing that "Britain's national sovereignty is being lost to Europe" rose from 68 per cent to 72 per cent.

Right-wing ministers are also anxious to see the rebels back in the fold. One said yesterday that they should have the whip returned by Easter. Ministers and Tory MPs, now technically in a minority in the Commons, are particularly concerned about losing their majority on important parliamentary committees.

MPs loyal to the party are also worried about signs of growing cohesion among the rebels, to the extent that they could become an embryonic party.

One rebel Christopher Gill, MP for Ludlow, said: "I am reconciled to the fact that we will only regain the whip when the management offer to take us all back. It is all or nothing. We will not be picked off separately". Another rebel said that the group of nine was looking for a room in the House of Commons to co-ordinate its parliamentary activities.

Yesterday the Ulster Unionists said that Mr Major could not rely on the votes of their nine MPs in Tuesday's division on VAT. Labour will introduce a procedural amendment allowing a special vote on the implementation of VAT on fuel. This could unite the opposition parties and draw in enough discontented Tories to scupper the £1.5bn tax measure. David Trimble, MP for Upper Bann, said: "I think the Government is in very serious danger of being defeated."

Potential Tory opponents include Nicholas Winterton, MP for Macclesfield, and William Powell, MP for Corby. Mr Winterton said the Parliamentary arithmetic was "extremely finely balanced". Labour claimed that it had recruited another high profile Conservative MP.

Senior Cabinet sources indicated that the rebels would not be offered any more compromises by the government. They said there was "no political credit" to be won from backing down; people would think that the government had "lost control".

But ministers anxiously point out that Tuesday's division is on a procedural motion and can therefore not be seen as a vote of confidence.

They argue that, according to precedent, a defeat on the VAT issue itself need not be a matter of confidence.

Michael Howard, the Home Secretary, appealed for loyalty, arguing: "We have to demonstrate to the markets that we have a firm grip on the public finances. Now is not the time for flirting with Labour irresponsibility."

Name: The Independent on Sunday Date: 4/12/94 Author: Andrew Marshall and Emma Daly in Sarajevo
Bosnia peacemakers fall out again

WESTERN policy towards Bosnia stood on the brink of collapse yesterday after a week of defeat, subterfuge and recrimination.

Tragedy mixed with farce as, hours after agreeing new peace proposals, the five powers in the so-called Contact Group fell out among themselves. Russia used its Security Council veto and the UN and Nato were in bitter dispute over the use of air power while their peace proposals were swiftly rejected by both the Serbs and the Muslim-led government in Bosnia. The visit today by Douglas Hurd to Belgrade looks like a mission impossible. Last night Mr Hurd said that UN peace-keepers could pull out of Bosnia in weeks if the warring parties do not accept the international peace plan. Using its veto for the first time in a year, Russia blocked a resolution that would have stopped flows of fuel from Serbia to Serbs in Croatia and Bosnia. The Russians want more concessions to the Serbian government of Slobodan Milosevic to ease moves towards peace in Bosnia.

Backed by Britain and France, Russia had pressed for a lifting of sanctions when the Contact Group met in Brussels on Friday, but was rebuffed by the Americans, who insisted that Mr Milosevic must first deliver the Bosnian Serbs' acceptance of a peace plan. British sources said the discussions were "long and difficult".

Mr Hurd visits Belgrade today with Alain Juppe, the French foreign minister, to offer concessions to Mr Milosevic, notably the idea that there could be links between the Bosnian Serbs and Serbia itself after Belgrade had recognised the integrity of Bosnia.

The Contact Group's fragile and tangled consensus was only achieved by forcing the US to drop plans to back the Bosnian government with air power, but the cost has been utter confusion in Nato and a furious battle with the UN. The UN's military commanders, led by General Sir Michael Rose, have pressed for an end to Nato's aerial presence over Bosnia, and seem to have largely succeeded. Since this was done without consultation with the Nato leadership in Brussels, however, it leaves the new secretary-general, Willy Claes, looking foolish. Last night a UN source said Nato had resumed flights over Bosnia "as a sort of trial balloon". "We sent a letter to the Serbs advising them that Nato would be resuming some flights and explaining why these should not be interpreted as posing a threat," said a U.N. official in Sarajevo.

The US remains angry at what it sees as European appeasement of the Serbs. And the cost has been chaos in Nato, which now looks unlikely ever to engage in a peacekeeping mission with the UN again. The one job it may get is to pull the UN out of Bosnia if the situation deteriorates or if the US unilaterally lifts the arms embargo on the Bosnian government. Nato planners are ready to commit around 20,000 troops (including US forces) to cover the evacuation of the peacekeepers.

The UN envoy, Yasushi Akashi, left Sarajevo empty-handed yesterday after failing to persuade the Bosnian Serb leadership to move towards acceptance of the peace plan, but he said he would return. "As a good old boxer does, I keep punching," he said.

Heavy fighting continued yesterday around the town of Velika Kladusa, north of Bihac.

Name: Independent on Sunday Date: 4/12/94 Author: Nick Cohen
Comrades clash over editorship of Star

THE Berlin Wall has fallen, the Soviet experiment is no more, yet passions are aflame over the succession to the editor's chair at the Morning Star, the Communist daily.

Amid accusations of nepotism, gerrymandering and, most seriously, Trotskyism (the worst charge one old-style Communist can hurl against another) two camps are fighting for control of a newspaper that sells a mere 6,500 copies a day, compared to 200,000 (as the Daily Worker) just after the Second World War.

In the red corner is John Haylett, the 49-year-old deputy editor, the favourite of staff and unions involved with the paper, who speaks several languages and is the man to lead the Morning Star out of ghetto politics.

In the other red corner is Paul Corry, the paper's 33-year-old news editor, who is the son-in-law of Mary Rosser, the paper's chief executive. Ms Rosser is now attempting to prevent the succession of Mr Haylett and assure the succession of Mr Corry by calling in lawyers. There is a possibility that the fate of the paper will be decided by those faithful servants of the ruling class, the judiciary.

Staff used to musing on Stalin's recipe for "socialism in one country" are commenting drily about "socialism in one family" and have dubbed Mr Corry "Baby Kim" after the son of Kim Il Sung who succeeded his father as ruler of North Korea earlier this year.

Ms Rosser is an old-style Communist hardliner and is married to another such, Mike Hicks who, in the mid-1980s, supported the Morning Star when its editor, Tony Chater, led the paper away from the old Communist Party which had been taken over by revisionists and Euro-communists.

The succession battle began when Mr Chater announced in October he was going to retire after 20 years at the paper's helm.

Everything was set for Mr Haylett to be chosen as editor at a meeting on 30 October of the management committee of the People's Press Printing Society (PPPS). The PPPS is chaired by Ken Gill, former leader of the white-collar union TASS and once the most powerful Communist in the trade union movement, and runs (or thinks it runs) the paper.

Mr Gill, Mr Haylett and their supporters reckoned without Ms Rosser, who at the meeting announced the vote could not go ahead. There were legal grounds for supposing that the 12-member PPPS committee did not in fact run the paper, she said.

Instead, she suggested that the four-member Morning Star management committee, which includes herself and Mr Chater, had the sole right to decide who would be the next editor. Lawyers were called and their decision will not be known until next week.

The legal intervention has provoked outrage. "Rosser, Hicks and Chater are egoists who want to retain their control," said one trade unionist. "In any normal organisation Rosser would declare an interest and say she could have no part in a selection process in which her son-in-law is involved."

Ms Rosser last week denied the accusations of nepotism. "I've just raised a legal query about who manages the paper," she said. "As to my son-in-law's position, he did not come to the paper as my son-in-law and I can hardly disqualify a candidate just because he happens to marry my daughter."

Mr Gill is certain that in the end the legal arguments will be brushed aside and Mr Haylett will be elected. Some are not so sanguine. "It's a very bitter atmosphere here," said one journalist.

"Paranoia is everywhere. If you disagree with the people in charge, accusations about the incorrect position you took years ago on the nature of the Soviet Union or the British road to socialism are thrown in your face."

Name: Independent on Sunday Date: 4/12/94 Author: Cal McCrystal
Bare ladies' protest puts end to Crinkley Bottom

WHY DID Morecambe, a resort famously intimate with show business (Morecambe and Wise, Thora Hird, Wilfred Pickles) evict Mr Blobby after only four months?

For so it did last week, when Lancaster City Councill suddenly closed down the Morecambe children's theme park based on the television village of Crinkley Bottom (Prop. Noel Edmonds). The northern home of the bouncy pink latex character was set up at the end of July with £300,000 of local taxpayers' money, but the council claimed that fewer than half of the expected 160,000 visitors had turned up.

Yet visitors traditionally thrived in Morecambe, either from a medicinal pump room "good for the liver, chronic rheumatism, gout, dyspepsia, anaemia, constipation...", or as a place "where the old grow young again and the middle-aged never grow old", according to a marketing slogan. Before the Second World War, weavers from northern textile mills would flock in by rail for baths at the hydro, and steak pie and chips at a shilling (5p). The central and southern stretches of the promenade seethed with weavers in search of entertainment.

The reason Mr Blobby failed to pull them in may be most to do with location. For it was at the northern end of the town (the "posh" neighbourhood of Bare) where Noel Edmonds decided to place his Crinkley Bottom, taking over most of a public park called Happy Mount.

That appears to have been his big mistake. It is not that locals are without a sense of humour (they used to enjoy visiting comedians making cracks about the Bare Ladies swimming-pool and the Bare Ladies Guild.)

What they did not enjoy, however, were the squeals of excited children 10 hours a day. They complained to their local councillors: about the noise, the loss of Happy Mount park, the fact that Crinkley Bottom's garish entrance arch all but eclipsed the motto on the original park gates: "Beauty surrounds, health abounds." They objected to the council investing large sums of money in the theme park while neglecting to fill in dangerous potholes where the elderly and blind take daily strolls.

More than 6,000 signed an anti-Blobby petition. The local Tory MP, Sir Mark Lennox-Boyd, wrote to the Lancaster town clerk suggesting that Crinkley Bottom should go and Happy Mount be restored.

"I fear," he said, "that one must inevitably conclude that the development has been a failure and a most unhappy experience for the people of Bare."

Others take a different view. The theme park's manager, Mike Slattery said: "By closing Crinkley Bottom, the council has shot Morecambe in the foot. And I'm out of a job." A woman walking her Yorkshire terrier along the empty paths said: "I'm very sad. This place would have brought a lot of people to Morecambe." The town's newspaper said: "Imagine how we look now. Morecambe should hang its head in shame."

Last week's council vote left Mr Edmonds's Unique Company with one prospering theme park (in Somerset). The company claims that a Lancashire businessman has offered to transplant Crinkley Bottom to Blackpool, though the whole affair may soon be bogged down in litigation. Lancaster's town clerk has been instructed to begin legal proceedings against Unique for damages and loss of profits.

But that does not mean that Mr Edmonds is about to go broke (or lose public esteem). The former disc jockey is credited with business acumen, and charges up to £15,000 a day for personal appearances. He lives abstemiously in a £3m mansion surrounded by 850 Devon acres. "Tough? Sure he's tough when he needs to be," said a friend.

Name: The Independent Date: 5/12/94 Author: Colin Brown, Chief Political Correspondent
Lilley presses Major to allow rebels back

Turmoil in the Conservative Party increased yesterday as Peter Lilley, a leading Eurosceptic in the Cabinet, urged John Major quickly to restore the whip to the eight Tory rebels who #refused to back him in a vote of confidence in the Commons last week.

The Social Security Secretary said he wanted the whip restored "as soon as possible". It was essential, he said, that the party was able to unite for the next election around a "Eurosceptical position".

Mr Lilley's remarks, on the eve of a cliff-hanger vote on increasing VAT on fuel, will be seen as disloyal to the Prime Minister and annoy Mr Major's supporters, who think the action he ordered was a necessary show of firm leadership.

But senior Tory figures openly questioned the Prime Minister's judgement in effectively throwing away the Government's majority to limit the rebellion on the European Finance Bill. The Chief Whip Richard Ryder, was also being privately criticised.

Calls for the whip to be reinstated for the rebels were increasing. The rebels won support from leading Tory backbenchers, including Kenneth Baker, the former chairman of the party, and George Gardiner, chairman of the Thatcherite 92 Group of Tory MPs.

"I think we want these people to work their way back into the party and take the whip again and get over that division," said Mr Lilley during a BBC television interview yesterday. "We want to go united into the next general election on a Eurosceptical position, a strong pro-British position which will be a marked contrast to the Labour Party who want to submerge us lock, stock and barrel in a European socialist super-state.

"We will only be able to reap the rewards of having a typically Tory stand if we can do so as a united party.

"I hope the rebels who lost the whip as a result of that rebellion will work themselves back into the party in due course. Let us hope they get themselves back on board as soon as possible."

There was a growing belief among Conservative MPs and Cabinet sources yesterday that the Prime Minister will be forced to relent early in the new year and restore the whip to the rebels, although it is unlikely that this will buy their silence on Europe.

A ninth MP, Sir Richard Body, resigned the whip in protest at Mr Major's "strong-arm" tactics, although he voted with the Government on the European Finance Bill. MPs are convinced that, despite the opposition by Michael Heseltine and Kenneth Clarke, Mr Major will seek to reunite the party by promising a referendum on the outcome of the 1996 Inter-Governmental Conference on Europe's future.

The rebels were unrepentant yesterday. One, Teresa Gorman, said that they were in a strong position because they could overturn the Government's majority.

"The Government has given us some power which we lacked before. We will have to think about that very carefully," she said.

The Government may have to rely on the rebels' support to defeat the attempt by Labour tomorrow to veto the imposition of the second stage of VAT. The Ulster Unionists who helped the Government to ride out the rebellion on Europe, will vote against the Government on VAT, making a defeat more likely.

At least three Tory MPs, Richard Shephard, Nicholas Winterton and Phil Gallie have made it clear they cannot support the Government.

Other Tory MPs are also expected to rebel on the grounds that tomorrow's vote is not the end of the issue; a defeat will give the Commons the chance to vote on it at the end of the Finance Bill putting the Budget into effect, which may not happen until next February.

Mr Baker, a former home secretary, attacked Mr Major in the bluntest terms for turning the Conservatives into a minority government without losing any seats, a feat unequalled by any Conservative prime minister in the 19th or 20th centuries.

"If this had happened accidentally, then the anger would be abated by amazement and chagrin, but it would appear this was carefully thought-through and planned," Mr Baker wrote in the Sunday Telegraph. If he did not act now, the Prime Minister would irreparably split the Tory party, he warned.

Name: The Independent Date: 5/12/94 Author: Colin Brown
Blair backs plans to reform monarchy

A battle over reforming the monarchy is expected to become a central part of the next election after Jack Straw, the Shadow Home Secretary, last night stood by remarks about slimming down the Royal Family to a "Scandinavian" style of court.

His comments led to an immediate attack by Michael Heseltine and Cabinet colleagues who believe Labour's plans will be a vote-loser. The President of the Board of Trade accused Labour of "undermining the very fabric of our political constitution."

But Tony Blair, the Labour leader, has backed the reforms that Mr Straw will raise tonight during a BBC Panorama programme about the Royal Family.

Labour's changes would mean a reduction in the size of the Royal Family from the present 40 people entitled to be called His or Her Royal Highness to around 20, with just five or six performing official duties. The Queen already reimburses the taxpayer for the royals on the civil list apart from the Queen Mother and the Duke of Edinburgh. Labour would not change that.

Mr Straw says in the programme, Long to Reign Over Us?, that a Blair government would very swiftly remove the right of hereditary peers to sit and vote in the House of Lords. That would make a "big difference" to the public's perception of the monarchy. "I think it will hasten the process towards a more Scandanavian monarchy, a monarchy symbolising a much more classless society, someone who's above the political battle," Mr Straw says.

Mr Blair as Shadow Home Secretary under John Smith, was responsible for drawing up Labour's comprehensive package of constitutional reforms, including the abolition of the Royal Prerogative, such as the power to wage war. It was adopted as party policy at the 1993 annual conference.

Labour leaders were nervous about the way leaks of Mr Straw's remarks had been reported over the weekend, and were quick to point out that Labour had no secret agenda for a republic.

"We are not suggesting getting rid of the monarchy or drastically descaling it and Jack Straw hasn't departed from party policy," said a Blair source.

Mr Blair's office said the party was happy to see constitutional reform become an election issue, which was threatened on Friday by John Major over Labour's plans for Welsh and Scottish assemblies. Taxing the Queen had happened under the Tories, said Mr Blair's office.

The constitutional reforms were "the dividing line" between Labour and the Tories which Labour would not avoid, said one source. "Major sees nothing wrong in the constitution. We do and we are quite happy to fight him on constitutional reform," he said.

Mr Straw, a long-term critic of the Royal Family - last year he described the monarchy as "deeply decadent" - said yesterday his remarks were in tune with public opinion.

"What we are observing is in tune with what the public are thinking, that the monarchy will inevitably have a role which will mean its survival but its redefinition," he said on BBC radio.

"The changes we are talking about do not necessarily spell the end of the monarchy, not for a second, but it does mean the monarchy's role will end up being redefined."

He said that the changes to the monarchy and the Royal Prerogative were part of a larger package of reforms including a bill of rights and increased accountability for councils and other public bodies.

Name: The Independent Date: 5/12/94 Author: Andrew Marshall in Belgrade
Milosevic supports peace moves

Slobodan Milosevic, the President of Serbia, yesterday said that he would support new international efforts to bring peace to Bosnia.

"We all agreed that there could be no military solution, that the only answer is a negotiated solution," said Douglas Hurd, the Foreign Secretary, after meeting the Serbian leader. But he added: "We don't feel that we have much time."

Mr Milosevic's support could help to put pressure on the Bosnian Serbs to agree to a ceasefire. #But time is short with the West increasingly uncertain about how long UN peace-keepers can remain in Bosnia and a continuing threat that the US Congress will lift the arms embargo on the Bosnian government.

In a private session, Mr Hurd and the French Foreign Minister, Alain Juppé, warned the Serbian President that if things do not improve in Bosnia, the UN peace-keepers are likely to be withdrawn. Mr Milosevic interrupted to say that this would be very dangerous. Today, Malcolm Rifkind the Minister of Defence, is to fly to the Croatian port of Split for urgent talks with the UN commander in Bosnia, Lieutenant-General Sir Michael Rose, amid speculation that Mr Rifkind could be coming to consult General Rose about plans to pull the British contingent of several thousand peace-keepers out of Bosnia.

In Belgrade Mr Hurd said that the risks to the peace-keepers were "completely unacceptable" and said this made a rapid deal vital. Mr Juppe said: "We wanted to stress the urgency, and I underline the word urgency, of a ceasefire and a cessation of violence."

Newt Gingrich, the incoming Republican House Speaker, yesterday said UN troops should be withdrawn from Yugoslavia, and urged the training and arming of Bosnian forces and retaliation by US air power against any Serbian offensive. "When we get to a serious problem, with serious violence, the United Nations is literally incompetent and kills people," he said.

After meeting Mr Hurd and Mr Juppe, Mr Milosevic said that he would step up efforts to persuade the Bosnian Serbs that their war was futile and that continued fighting would not help their position. Today the Serbian President is to meet dissident Bosnian Serbs opposed to Radovan Karadzic the Bosnian Serb leader, in an attempt to enlist their support.

Britain and France believe that assisting Mr Milosevic is the only way to broker peace. The US is deeply sceptical and Mr Hurd and Mr Juppe visited Belgrade in their capacity as national foreign ministers, not as representatives of the five nation contact group. The US envoy, Charles Redman, is separately touring the region to bolster support for the new peace moves and further efforts will be made today at the Budapest summit of the Conference for Security and Co-operation in Europe.

In a rare public appearance Mr Milosevic - flanked by Mr Hurd and Mr Juppe - backed the contact group strategy agreed last Friday in Brussels. It is based on a peace plan agreed in July splitting Bosnia 51-49 between a Muslim-Croat federation on the one hand and the Bosnian Serbs on the other. Mr Milosevic supported the plan then, but made little headway in persuading the Bosnian Serbs. He believes however, that a new offer of future constitutional links between Serbia and the Bosnian Serbs, plus a provision for land swaps, could help to tilt the balance.

Name: The Guardian Date: 5/12/94 Author: Patrick Wintour, Political Correspondent
Fury over 'slim down royals' plan Straw proposes Nordic model

THE SHADOW home secretary, Jack Straw, was accused by a rampant Conservative Party last night of seeking to undermine Britain's most cherished institutions after he suggested that the royal family be cut from 40 to six and that the monarchy become a figurehead at the apex of a classless society.

With Conservative MPs desperate to distract attention from their own travails, cabinet ministers played the patriotic card, portraying Mr Straw's remarks as part of a wider attack on the union, the House of Lords and freedom from control by Brussels.

Peter Lilley, the Social Security Secretary, accused Labour of becoming "strange allies of the Murdoch press" in setting a republican agenda and said it was quite wrong for Labour to put the monarchy in the front line of political debate.

He said the Labour leadership had "to give some bone for their leftwing activists to home in on", so they "have got downgrading the monarchy, reforming the constitution to break Britain up into its component parts, and submerge Britain into a socialist superstate in Europe - all of which will be profoundly unpopular with Labour voters, but appeal to Labour Party activists".

Michael Heseltine, the Trade and Industry Secretary said Labour "in its desperation to find some new policy ground has descended to undermining the very fabric of our political constitution".

The Labour leadership stressed that it had no plans to reduce the size of the royal family, and its only proposals affecting the monarchy had been published two years ago by Tony Blair. These included a commitment to fixed-term parliaments, ending ministerial use of the royal prerogative and abolishing hereditary peerages.

Mr Straw, a long-term critic of the monarchy, insisted he had been misrepresented and was only seeking to modernise the monarchy to protect it.

Nevertheless, he privately believes it is tactically right for Labour to have the argument over its sweeping constitutional reform package now, in the hope that John Major will be unable at the next election to represent Labour's plans as an attack on the national identity - a tactic the Prime Minister deployed in the final weeks of the 1992 general election.

The row arose from a Panorama TV interview, discussed with Mr Blair in advance, to be broadcast tonight, in which Mr Straw states: "One measure which a Blair government will take very swiftly, and Tony Blair has himself committed to, is the removal of the right of hereditary peers to sit and vote in the House of Lords. The removal of peers, hereditary peers, from the House of Lords, and their right to vote or speak, will make a big difference to the perception of the monarchy. I think it will hasten the process towards a more Scandinavian monarchy, a monarch symbolising a much more classless society, someone who has been above the battle, than has been the case hitherto.

"This does not necessarily spell the end of the monarchy, not for a second. But it does mean, of course, that the monarchy's role will be redefined. The monarchy is caught at a crossroads between whether it continues as the apex of a very hierarchical system in our society, or whether it moves over to be a symbol, a figurehead of a much more classless society."

Mr Straw also criticises the Prince of Wales for occasionally being too strident, and warns that if the prince follows his own agenda too closely people will start calling for a republic. He proposes a reduction in the royal family, possibly from the present 40 entitled to be called His or Her Royal Highness to 20, with five or six performing official duties.

Defending his remarks yesterday he said: "There is no doubt there is a very serious debate taking place among British citizens about the role of the monarchy. There could not be anything but, given the intense publicity which the monarchy has received, not least from its own leading members."

Name: The Guardian Date: 5/12/94 Author: Patrick Wintour, Political Correspondent
Major faces fresh European turmoil

JOHN MAJOR enters his first full week as a minority leader expecting to squeak home in tomorrow's vote on increasing VAT on fuel, but facing fresh trouble from his Euro-sceptic rebels.

Some of them warned yesterday they may resume the Tory whip only if they receive policy concessions on the European Union, including a commitment to a referendum. Even if Mr Major survives the vote on VAT, he risks defeat on the bill increasing Britain's contribution to the European Union budget, whose committee stage starts on Wednesday. The leading Euro-sceptic Bill Cash and the Labour front bench have tabled a string of similar amendments tightening government action against fraud.

This renewed alliance will force Mr Major to decide whether to treat their relatively minor amendments as issues on which he is wining to force a general election if defeated. With Mr Major already under attack from his former party chairman Kenneth Baker for "the crass stupidity" of withdrawing the whip from last week's eight rebels he may not risk the tactic again.

He is also under pressure from leading backbenchers to restore the whip to the rebels quickly and even unconditionally. Peter Lilley, the Social Security Secretary, urged that the whip be restored in due course. "Let us hope they get themselves back on board as soon as possible," he said on BBCl's Breakfast with Frost programme yesterday.

The outcome of tomorrow's vote rests largely on the number of Tory opponents of the VAT rise willing to vote against the Government, rather than merely abstain.

The Government can invariably rely on the vote of the Democratic Popular Unionist James Kilfedder, giving it a majority of 15. It expects two ill MPs, Geoffrey Dickens and Julian Critchley, to attend. However, Sir Nicholas Fairbairn, who had planned to vote against the rise, has been told not to travel from Scotland.

Labour's whips are expecting a full turn-out on their side, including Martin Redmond, who is due to have an operation shortly. The Ulster Unionists formally confirmed at the weekend that all nine will vote against the Govermnent and Peter Robinson, the Democratic Unionist, is due to return from South Africa to join them.

Three Tories expected to vote against the Government are Richard Shepherd, Nicholas Winterton and William Powell, requiring another nine to abstain for the Government to lose, one or two more than are expected to do so.

Name: The Guardian Date: 5/12/94 Author: John Palmer in Brussels
Milosevic backs Hurd peace plea

THE Foreign Secretary, Douglas Hurd, and the French foreign minister Alain Juppé, received strong backing yesterday from the Serbian president, Slobodan Milosevic, for their efforts to revive the flagging Bosnian peace process.

After talks in Belgrade, Mr Milosevic said he fully agreed with the international peace plan and called for an immediate end to the fighting. "I think the plan is a major step forward," he said.

The foreign ministers appealed to Mr Milosevic to persuade Bosnian Serb leaders to seize what may be the last chance of a negotiated end to the war. But while the meeting was held, an upsurge of fighting between Serbs and Croats on Bosnia's western borders underlined the poor prospects for a peace breakthrough.

The fighting around the town of Bosanko Stavho left 11 Bosnian Serb soldiers dead and 30 wounded. There were fears last night that the direct confrontation between Serbs and Croats could intensify the conflict in neighbouring Bosnia.

The Defence Secretary, Malcolm Rifkind, is to begin a two-day visit to Bosnia today that will help decide whether Britain's 3,300-strong peacekeeping force is to be withdrawn.

He will meet the United Nations envoy, Yasushi Akashi, and the Bosnia UN commander, Lieutenant General Sir Michael Rose, for talks, as pressure mounts for a pullout.

A growing number of senior Tories are pressing for a policy rethink. Sir Nicholas Bonsor, chairman of the Commons defence committee, called publicly yesterday for British troops to be pulled out.

The sombre prospects for a resumption of peace negotiations were underlined when United States negotiators said they had failed to make headway in talks with the Bosnian Serb leader Radovan Karadzic. The special US representative in former Yugoslavia, Charles Redman, explained the international contact group's latest peace proposals when he met Bosnian Serb leaders in Pale.

"There was no indication that Mr Karadzic had moved, nor did we expect him to," a senior US official travelling to the European security conference in Budapest with the US secretary of state, Warren Christopher, said.

The Bosnian crisis and the Serb threat to Bihac and other so-called UN safe areas are sure to dominate the two-day summit of the Conference on Security and Co-operation in Europe, which begins in the Hungarian capital today.

In another sign of renewed tension, Nato resumed air patrols yesterday to enforce the no fly ban over Bosnia in spite of the increased risk of confrontation with Bosnian Serb forces which have deployed advanced ground to air missiles.

The flights were resumed after Nato denied UN claims that they were being scaled down to help the peace process. Gen Sir Michael Rose warned that Nato would hit back if its planes were targeted by missile batteries.

"If somebody puts radar on to one of our aircraft or indeed fires a missile at it, the aircraft has every right of self-defence to send a missile back down the radar beam or at the missile site itself," he said.

Although the US, Russia, Britain, France and Germany reiterated their support for the international peace plan when they met in Brussels on Friday, differing interpretations of the plan have emerged. The British, French and Russian governments all say its reference to "balanced and equitable" rights for the Serb, Croat and Muslim communities in Bosnia is veiled jargon for allowing the Bosnian Serbs to negotiate close links with Serbia.

But the German and US governments insist any confederation that would effectively concede the principle of "Greater Serbian president backs contact group peace plan Serbia" would be - in the words of the German foreign minister, Klaus Kinkel - "absolutely out of the question".

Mr Milosevic and the Bosnian Serb leaders also know there are differences within the contact group about whether to relax economic sanctions against Serbia.

"There are a least two different interpretations of what the international contact group plan means. We have been given assurances by the Americans and the Germans about what they mean, so we are not getting unduly excited," one senior Bosnian government diplomat said.

One hopeful development was the freeing of 20 British and 33 Dutch UN soldiers after Mr Akashi met Bosnian Serb leaders to negotiate the release of several hundred UN peacekeepers detained after Nato air strikes two weeks ago.

The British military engineers, who had been held at the town of Rogatica, east of Sarajevo, arrived in the Bosnian enclave of Gorazde. Later, the Dutch, held at Zvornik, were allowed into the enclave of Srebrenica.

"They are very happy" a UN spokesman, Colonel Jan-Dirk Merveldt, said after the British troops arrived. "They are in Gorazde getting hot showers and hot meals. None of their kit was taken."

The Bosnian Serbs also agreed to lift their blockade on UN aid convoys to besieged Muslim enclaves.

A UN supply convoy from the Croatian capital, Zagreb, reached Bangladeshi peacekeepers in the Bihac region. But UN officials reported that one Bangladeshi soldier had died on Saturday from a heart attack, brought on by asthma worsened by a lack of medicine.

Name: The Guardian Date: 5/12/94 Author: Angella Johnson
Minister 'touched women' at exorcism

AN Anglican clergyman who allegedly performed exorcisms which involved the internal "cleansing" of sexually abused women is being investigated by Scotland Yard, it was revealed last night.

The Rev Andrew Arbuthnot, an Old Etonian, is alleged to have poured wine over the victims' genitals, inserted crucifixes, and used his fingers to make the sign of the cross in their vaginas.

Mr Arbuthnot is said to have continued ministering to a congregation at the London Healing Mission in Notting Hill, west London, despite having his licence revoked last year, which means he can no longer practice as a minister in the Church of England.

The Bishop of Wakefield, Nigel McCulloch, chairman of the Church's communication unit, said that if the claims were true, such practices were "utterly disgusting and blasphemous". They were not recognisable as part of any Anglican creed.

A Scotland Yard spokesman said officers were investigating the matter, although he did not name Mr Arbuthnot.

Last September, the Association of Christian Counsellors ended its affiliation with the London Healing Mission after an eight-month investigation into "internal ministries".

Graham Baldwin, the director of Catalyst, a counseling service for victims of cult abuse said: "The idea of the exorcisms is that to get the demons out you have to in some way get contact with the entry point of the demon, as well as somehow consecrating the place where the abuse occurred. It is outrageous."

The Rev Robert Marshall, spokesman for the Diocese of London, said: "What we need to make clear to people who attend his services is that he is nothing to do with the Church of England. He is effectively freelancing since the bishop withdrew permission for him to officiate."

He has not, however, been defrocked and is still a priest.

Mr Arbuthnot, a former merchant banker who served in the Scots Guards and stood as a Conservative Party candidate, refused to comment. A recorded message at the London Mission said services were held three times week.

Dr Jenny Cozens, principal research fellow at Leeds University, said: "I don't think it is possible for someone to go through this kind of treatment without being scarred for life."

Name: The Times Date: 5/12/94 Author: Michael Binyon in Belgrade and Nicholas Wood in Budapest
Britain ready to pull troops out of Bosnia 'Prospects dark' as world leaders meet

BRITAIN could start withdrawing its troops from Bosnia within weeks if the warring factions reject the latest plans for a settlement, Douglas Hurd, the Foreign Secretary, said yesterday.

Malcolm Rifkind, the Defence Secretary, is flying to Croatia and Bosnia today for an emergency meeting with Lieutenant-General Sir Michael Rose, the United Nations commander, to discuss the looming nightmare of a forced evacuation of more than 3,000 troops in mid-winter and in the teeth of determined opposition.

Mr Hurd issued his sombre warning as he and Alain Juppé, the French Foreign Minister, flew to Belgrade for talks with President Milosevic of Serbia. At their meeting they tried to stiffen his resolve to force the Bosnian Serbs to accept concessions offered on Friday by the five-nation Contact Group.

The two ministers then flew on to Budapest where Bosnia will dominate the summit of the Conference on Security and Co-operation in Europe, which begins today.

Before leaving Britain, Mr Hurd said that if there was not a settlement within weeks, it might become "unavoidable to lift the arms embargo." Britain would first have to withdraw its troops. He was pessimistic about the prospects for a negotiated settlement, and indicated that if the latest efforts failed there would be no alternative but to let the parties fight it out.

After talks with Mr Milosevic, the Foreign Secretary said that the situation on the ground was now "quite unacceptable" for UN soldiers. He did not see how a peace plan could get underway again or how the UN forces could continue saving lives unless there was a ceasefire. "The prospects are dark indeed."

The Bosnian Serbs made two modest concessions yesterday, releasing 20 British soldiers who were allowed to continue their journey to the eastern enclave of Gorazde. Earlier in the day, a resupply convoy for the Bangladeshi battalion arrived in the Bihac pocket carrying food and fuel.

The convoy was too late for one Bangladeshi peacekeeper, who died of a heart attack because of exposure to cold and a lack of medicine and medical equipment.

The mission by the two ministers whose forces are most exposed to possible Serb retaliation was almost cancelled when the Americans flatly refused to countenance anything they said would reward aggression, and almost turned down the proposal to allow the Bosnian Serbs possible confederation with Serbia. In the end this principle was agreed, but wrapped up in coded language, saying that there had to be "equitable and balanced" arrangements for all parties. This allows the Bosnian Serbs the same right as the Muslims and Croats to form "special relationships" with their neighbours.

President Milosevic yesterday expressed optimism that these latest inducements would be enough to persuade Radovan Karadzic, the Bosnian Serb leader, and his associates in Pale to agree the Contact Group plan. He himself accepted the plan in July. How to resolve the Bosnia issue will dominate conversation between John Major, President Clinton, President Yeltsin of Russia, Helmut Kohl, the German Chancellor and President Mitterrand of France, at the CSCE summit today.

Mr Clinton is under pressure from a resurgent Republican party to take a tougher line over Bosnia.

The meeting between Mr Rifkind and General Rose is also expected to focus on the issue of hostage peacekeepers. Thousands of UN troops in four besieged enclaves are facing fuel, food and water shortages that are "beyond critical," the UN said.

Name: The Times Date: 5/12/94 Author: Arthur Leathley, Political Correspondent
Blair backs Straw over a new role for the monarchy

TONY BLAIR confirmed yesterday that he intended to make fundamental changes to the role of the Royal Family an issue in the next general election.

The Labour leader made clear that the Labour Party would press for debate on the future of the constitution and defended Jack Straw, the Shadow Home Secretary, who came under attack for saying that Labour wanted to redefine the role of the monarchy and halve the present 40 people entitled to be called His or Her Royal Highness, with just five or six performing official duties.

Mr Straw said he was reflecting widespread anger among ordinary people. "There is a very serious debate taking place among British citizens about the role of the monarchy. There could not be anything but, given the publicity which the monarchy has received, not least from its own leading members," he said yesterday on BBC Radio 4's The World This Weekend.

He added: "The changes we are talking about do not necessarily spell the end of the monarchy, but it does mean the monarchy's role will end up being redefined." Mr Straw says in tonight's BBC Panorama programme that the Royal Family should become more like Scandinavian monarchies, symbolising a more classless society.

He outlines a series of radical changes that include reducing government powers and abolishing the right of hereditary peers to vote in the House of Lords. He also questions whether the Prince of Wales has taken on a role appropriate for a monarch: "It's whether he's gone too far, become too strident in his views - that's the point."

His demands for an overhaul of the constitution, including limits on ministers' use of the royal prerogative to push through legislation, are part of a larger package of reform including a Bill of Rights and increased accountability for councils and other public bodies.

Conservative ministers rounded on Mr Straw, accusing him of downgrading the monarchy and undermining the constitution. Peter Lilley, the Social Security Secretary, accused Labour of pandering to left-wing activists and said that the tactics could easily backfire, alienating millions of ordinary voters. "I regret very much that they have put the future of the monarchy into the political domain but having done so I think that they risk losing the support of a lot of their voters," he said. "Although their activists are leftwing, their Labour voters are usually in my experience very conservative, very pro-monarchy, very pro-Britain."

Mr Lilley's comments echoed those of the Prime Minister who gave notice last week that the Tories intended to make Labour's constitutional proposals one of the battlegrounds at the next election. Michael Heseltine, President of the Board of Trade, was reported as saying: "In its desperation to find some new policy ground, Labour has descended to undermining the very fabric of our political constitution." John Major said Labour's plans were "a sort of teenage madness" and their proposals for separate assemblies for Scotland and Wales would lead to the break up of the United Kingdom.

Since last year only three members of the Royal Family, the Queen, the Duke of Edinburgh and Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother, are supported by the Civil List. All other working royals have their expenses paid from the Queen's private fund. The figure of 40 constitutes not only about 17 members of the Royal Family who perform public engagements, but their children, most of whom have no public role.

Senior Labour figures have admitted that they were pushed on to the defensive at the last general election on constitutional and electoral reform because their policies were ill-considered.

Name: The Times Date: 5/12/94 Author: Arthur Leathley and Philip Webster
Tories face defeat over VAT as rebel MPs remain defiant

SENIOR Tory ministers faced up last night to the prospect of a Commons defeat this week over VAT on fuel as they admitted that backbench dissidents are resisting pressure to back away from rebellion.

Kenneth Clarke, the Chancellor of the Exchequer, will lead a final 24-hour offensive to try to persuade a hard core of Tory MPs that they could severely damage the Government by rebelling over the introduction of the second stage of VAT on fuel, taking it to 17.5 per cent.

The danger of defeat in tomorrow's vote coincided with the threat of new trouble over the nine rebels who had the whip withdrawn last week. While rightwingers called for the Eurosceptic dissidents to be allowed back into the fold quickly, a government source said last night it was "quite inconceivable that the whip will be handed back before Christmas."

Senior Tories are aware that too hasty a reprieve would aggravate many backbenchers who remained loyal despite having doubts over the European Budget Bill.

Ministers believe that at least three Tories are likely to vote against the Government. Nicholas Winterton, Richard Shepherd and William Powell have been listed as the "irreconcilables" and ministers fear that Sir Richard Body is also likely to vote against. Up to ten MPs have indicated they will abstain. Labour claim the vote is on a knife edge, after the nine Ulster Unionist MPs said they would vote against the Government.

Tony Marlow and Michael Carttiss, two of those who lost the party whip last week after voting against the Government over raising Britain's European Union contributions, are among those thought most likely to abstain.

Five other rebels are thought likely to vote with the Government tomorrow. But other potential rebels on the VAT issue are Phil Gallie, Ann Winterton, Sir Rhodes Boyson, Vivian Bendall and Paul Marland. Nicholas Fairbairn, who is ill in Scotland, is not expected to attend.

Although tomorrow's vote on a Labour amendment is procedural, defeat for the Government would set up a further vote next month on whether the full VAT on domestic fuel should be introduced in April.

Most worrying for the Government is the lasting effect that defeat would have on the City, as ministers fear that a reverse on a key part of economic policy could spark a run on sterling. One senior minister said last night: "This is not an idle threat to scare the rebels. We genuinely think it will happen."

The row with the Tory rebels was inflamed when Kenneth Baker, a former Conservative party chairman, accused Mr Major of committing "an act of crass stupidity" in withdrawing the whip from the rebels.

Name: The Times Date: 5/12/94 Author: Alan Hamilton
Word is made PC for him-her

THE time has come to pray to God the Father-Mother and Jesus the Human One for the soul of William Tyndale.

Tyndale, upon whose 16th-century translation of the Bible much of the majesty of the Authorised Version is based, will be spinning in his grave at news that yet another travesty of the world's best-selling book is about to be launched in the name of political correctness. Sexism and racism have no place in the new version being prepared by the Oxford University Press for the American market. God ceases to be male and becomes a hyphenated bisexual, while the Son of Man, who cannot possibly be said to have been killed by the Jews, becomes the Human One. Even the left-handed are spared offence: God's right hand becomes his-her "mighty hand".

The new OUP Bible is not the first to tinker with the Word of God in pursuit of current fashion. A children's illustrated Bible issued earlier this year by the British publisher Dorling Kindersley could not bring itself to describe Mary as a virgin, but referred to her instead as "a girl, and not married", thus undermining one of the basic tenets of Christian belief. It also illustrated the archangel Gabriel with no wings.

Although the British approach to the Christian religion is generally regarded as more traditionalist than the American, even the General Synod of the Church of England has been divided on whether to update the scriptures.

Conservatives such as the Ven George Austin, Archdeacon of York, believe in the majesty of the Authorised Version and do not believe that de-sexing the Father and Son means much to the average parishioner. Liberals take the view that there have been new English translations at regular intervals for the past 300 years and there is no reason to stop.

The OUP's panel of expert readers that vets its new Bible editions has been far from enthusiastic about the impending PC version, describing it as "nonsense". The publishers however, have an eye to a new market, although they will not say at this stage whether the new version will be unleashed on poor William Tyndale's home country.

Name: The Daily Telegraph Date: 5/12/94 Author: George Jones and Julie Kirkbride
14 Tories ready to defeat VAT rise

THE Government's chances of averting an embarrassing Commons defeat over VAT on domestic fuel remained on a knife edge last night after at least 14 Tory MPs indicated reluctance to support the measure. Ministers said defeat could make interest rates rise.

The Government's present majority is 14, counting the nine MPs who no longer have the Conservative whip.

The VAT rebellion appeared to be gathering strength as Tory MPs who defied the Government over increased payments to the European Union claimed strong public support for their stand against what they saw as unpopular policies.

Tensions within the party were heightened further when Mr John Major rebuffed demands by Right-wing MPs - endorsed yesterday by a prominent Eurosceptic minister, Mr Peter Lilley, Social Security Secretary - for the early reinstatement of the Euro-rebels. Eight had the whip withdrawn and a ninth, Sir Richard Body, resigned it.

Authoritative sources said it was "inconceivable" the rebels would be brought back into the fold by Christmas and stressed Mr Major was determined they would have to demonstrate an improved voting record over a period of several months.

Ministers yesterday embarked on a last-ditch effort to persuade the opponents of the increase in VAT on fuel to 17 1/2 per cent from next April to fall into line before tomorrow's vote at the end of the five-day Budget debate.

They warned them that defeat for the Government, on a procedural motion paving the way for a formal vote on whether the second stage of VAT should go ahead, would undermine confidence in the Budget. The loss of £1.5 billion revenue could cause City panic and lead to a two or three-point rise in interest rates.

The 14 MPs who by last night had indicated they might not support the Government are: Sir Richard Body (Holland with Boston), Sir Rhodes Boyson (Brent North), Sir Andrew Bowden (Brighton Kemptown), Mr Vivian Bendall (Ilford North), Mr Michael Carttiss (Great Yarmouth), Sir Nicholas Fairbairn (Perth and Kinross), Mr Phil Gallie (Ayr), Mr Christopher Gill (Ludlow), Mr Paul Marland (Gloucestershire West), Mr Tony Marlow (Northampton North), Mr William Powell (Corby), Mr Richard Shepherd (Aldridge Brownhills), Mrs Ann Winterton (Congleton) and Mr Nicholas Winterton (Macclesfield).

Several MPs on the list are considering voting against the Government but most are likely to abstain. The Ulster Unionists, who backed Mr Major in last week's Eurovote, have said they will oppose VAT on fuel. It would take seven Tories voting against for the Government to lose - or 14 abstentions.

Tory whips believe they may be able to "turn" some of the rebels. But they acknowledged last night that the result would be extremely close and any Government majority was likely to be in single figures.

The rebels have been taking soundings in their constituencies over the weekend. Last night some said they found that public support for preventing VAT on fuel rising to 17+ per cent was even more pronounced than on the opposition to extra money for Brussels.

Mr Carttiss said: "My constituents and Conservative Association are urging me to vote against the Government. The Government is out of touch with real people."

Although Mr Major has signalled in advance that tomorrow's vote will not be a confidence issue, it will be a key test of his authority.

Mr Major, who flew to Budapest last night for a conference on European security, has warned his party's warring factions to stop the in-fighting or face defeat at the next general election.

But the Right's unhappiness over Mr Major's tactics in making Europe a confidence issue and then expelling the rebels - effectively wiping out the Government's paper majority in the Commons - was voiced yesterday by Mr Kenneth Baker, the former party chairman.

Writing in The Sunday Telegraph, he accused Mr Major of an "act of crass stupidity" in withdrawing the whip from the eight.

His criticism was echoed by another former party chairman, Lord Parkinson. "John Major effectively pushed these people into a corner," he told the BBC.

Name: The Daily Telegraph Date: 5/12/94 Author: Patrick Bishop in Belgrade
Peace plan for Bosnia backed by Milosevic

BRITAIN and France launched a despairing effort yesterday to persuade the warring parties in Bosnia to abandon the battlefield for the negotiating table.

Mr Douglas Hurd, the Foreign Secretary, and M Alain Juppé, his French counterpart, met President Milosevic of Serbia to encourage him to bring more pressure on the Serbs in Bosnia to accept the improved peace plan offered by the international community.

This would give 49 per cent of Bosnia to the Serbs and the rest to the Muslims and Croats. The Serbs would have the right to form a "special relationship" with Serbia proper.

Afterwards Mr Milosevic, whose commitment to the peace process had come into question recently, backed the proposals and said he was "convinced that the forces of peace are growing". All three called for a ceasefire so negotiations can resume.

However there is little sign that the Bosnian Serbs are in any mood for compromise or that Mr Milosevic is in any position to coerce them.

British officials were playing down the prospect that UN troops could be withdrawn from Bosnia in the next few weeks if no progress was made towards a negotiated settlement. They denied that the threat of withdrawing the UN Protection Force (Unprofor) was being used as a bargaining chip to force the parties into agreement.

"The real test is whether there's an acceptable degree of risk and whether they can do their job," said one.

They believe that the pressure on President Clinton to lift the arms embargo against the Muslims unilaterally, a move Britain and France believe would make life impossible for their troops, has slackened.

Last night it seemed unless the Serbs decide to continue harassing Unprofor, the peace-keeping operation would probably stagger on through another winter.

Mr Malcolm Rifkind the Defence Secretary, starts a critical two-day visit to Bosnia today that will help decide whether Britain's 3,300-strong peacekeeping force is withdrawn.

Name: The Daily Telegraph Date: 5/12/94 Author: Colin Randall and George Jones
Labour in row over Royal role

THE LABOUR leadership was embroiled last night in controversy over the future of the monarchy after Mr Jack Straw, the party's home affairs spokesman, outlined proposals to redefine the Queen's role and reduce the size of the Royal Family.

Ministers claimed that Labour's plans for constitutional reform, including a Scandinavian-style monarchy with less pomp and ceremony, could lead to the break-up of the United Kingdom and would be one of the central battlegrounds at the next general election.

Mr Peter Lilley, the Social Security Secretary, accused the Opposition leadership of promising to "downgrade" the monarchy in order to pander to Left-wing elements. He pledged the Conservatives would "vigorously defend" the Queen and the Royal Family from Labour's attacks.

But Mr Straw said he had the full backing of Mr Tony Blair, the Labour leader, and said the party was in tune with public thinking on the future of the monarchy.

He said a Labour government would substantially change the constitutional position of the Royal Family in its first term of office.

In a BBC Panorama programme to be shown tonight, he argued that Labour's

plans to remove the right of hereditary peers to sit and vote in the House of Lords would make a big difference in the public's perception of the monarchy.

"I think it will hasten the process towards a more Scandinavian monarchy, a monarch symbolising a much more classless society, someone who is above the political battle than has been the case hitherto," he said.

Mr Straw criticised the Prince of Wales for being "too strident" in the way he expressed his views and warned that his outspoken style might not be appropriate when he is king.

Labour's changes would also mean a reduction in the size of the Royal Family that could be cut from the present 40 people entitled to be called His or Her Royal Highness to around 20, with just five or six performing official duties.

Mr Straw said he wanted to "redefine" the role of the monarchy. Party officials said this was not an attack on the Queen but an attempt to prevent governments using the authority of the Queen through the Royal Prerogative to by-pass Parliament.

Constitutional reform has now emerged as one of the key policy differences between Labour and the Conservatives.

Last week Mr Major launched an outspoken attack on Labour's plans for a Scottish Parliament and Welsh Assembly, reforming the House of Lords and considering proportional representation.

He described them as "teenage madness" which would spell the beginning of the end for Britain. Tory strategists are preparing to play the constitutional card in the run up to the next election, believing Labour will be vulnerable to public concern about such upheaval.

The sensitivity of the issue was reflected by Labour's reaction to weekend headlines suggesting it planned to "strip the Queen of political power". A party spokesman said there was no intention of "abolishing" the monarchy, nor had there been any change in party policy.

The changes to the monarchy should be seen as part of a package of wider constitutional reform. The monarchy had already undergone change, such as the Queen paying tax, and the Prince of Wales had revealed in the recent authorised biography by Jonathan Dimbleby that he believed the monarchy must be scaled down if it is to survive into the 21st century.

"If John Major wants to make a big issue of constitutional reform, Tony Blair is happy to take him on," said the Labour spokesman.

Mr Straw himself has previously argued that the Royal Family must choose between retreating into "isolation and the old hierarchical order" or seeking to become more like a normal family.

Ms Marjorie Mowlam, shadow Heritage Secretary, has called for a "people's palace" to house the Queen's family, with Windsor Castle and Buckingham Palace being sold off.

But Mr Lilley said Labour tactics could prompt many ordinary people who would otherwise support Labour to turn to the Conservatives.

"I regret very much that they have put the future of the monarchy into the political domain," he said on BBCl's Breakfast with Frost. "But having done so, I think that they risk losing the support of a lot of their voters."

While Labour activists were Left-wing, Labour voters were usually "very pro-monarchy, very pro-Britain" and the Conservatives would "vigorously defend" the Queen and the Royal Family.

Having abandoned its policies on the economy and education, Labour desperately needed something new to please the Left, he said.

Name: The Daily Telegraph Date: 5/12/94
Milligan brings down the house of Windsor

COMEDY'S leading lights honoured Spike Milligan last night - and collapsed laughing when he called his friend the Prince of Wales "a little grovelling bastard".

The 76-year-old former Goon wept as he received a lifetime achievement award at the British Comedy Awards in London.

He had to be gently prompted to go on stage to accept the award but soon reduced the televised show's running order to anarchy.

"I was going to say 'About bloody time!'" he said, as the ovation died away. "I am not going to thank anybody - because I did it all myself!"

The awards show presenter, Jonathan Ross, then tried to read a tribute from the Prince. But as he read: "I must confess that I have been a lifelong fan of the (Goon Show) participants, and particularly Spike Milligan..," the comedian interrupted: "Oh, the little grovelling bastard."

After a second interruption, Ross abandoned his attempt and thrust the tribute into Spike's hands, saying: "He loves you!"

Four telephone complaints about the comic's remarks were received before the ITV programme ended, said a London Weekend Television spokesman. James Walton writes:

The awards ceremony, the fifth for the industry, had gone reasonably smoothly until Spike Milligan's showstealing.

Only when June Whitfield became the first woman to receive a lifetime achievement award did sanity briefly return. All of which rather overshadowed the awards themselves, but perhaps this was just as well.

For when it came to the names inside the envelopes predictability was the key note. Four Weddings And a Funeral took Best Comedy Film and the producers duly made a plea for more support for the British film industry.

Michael Barrymore, Noel Edmonds and Chris Evans retained their titles as Top Entertainment Presenter on ITV, BBC and Channel 4 respectively. Drop The Dead Donkey was Best Channel 4 Sitcom - as it has been every year, except the one when the judges briefly took pity on Desmond's.

Red Dwarf Vl was best BBC Sitcom, a dream win for the tabloids, as one of its stars, Craig Charles - currently out on bail on a rape charge - made his first public appearance since being released. Also overshadowed by the various shenanigans was the fact that the awards should have been the coronation of a new king of British comedy.

Steve Coogan, 28, was named Best Newcomer last year. This time, he won both Top Male Performer and Top Comedy Personality. Knowing Me, Knowing You, in which he plays the "chat show host from hell", Alan Partridge, also took Best New Television Comedy.

Coogan is already being compared to Peter Sellers, and he took that comparison a stage further last night by being in Los Angeles making a film for Paramount. He was suitably ironic about his star status but as Jonathan Ross pointed out: "You can imagine how popular that makes him here."

Coogan's collaborators stuck in London, had their consolations. Chris Morris, host of the spoof news show The Day Today - with Alan Partridge as the sports commentator - was voted Best Newcomer.

A special award was created for Coogan's producer, Armando Ianucci.

Name: The Daily Telegraph Date: 5/12/94 Author: Victoria Combe
Bishops pour scorn on non-sexist Bible

PROMINENT Churchmen yesterday scorned plans to publish a politically-correct Bible which refers to Jesus as "The Human One" instead of the "Son of Man" and God as "Father-Mother".

The non-sexist non-racist version of the Bible, which includes only the Psalms and Gospels, is being published by Oxford University Press in America in February and is being considered for publication in Britain.

The Rev John Fenton, a retired canon of Christ Church, Oxford, and an OUP adviser, has told them the book is "silly" and should not be published here.

"It is all ridiculous," said Mr Fenton, father of James Fenton, the poet. "The Bible is a book from the ancient world and it is a mistake to think you can update it to appear as if it was written yesterday."

The amended Bible strives to take the "oppression" out of Christianity by removing language which is deemed insensitive to women, the disabled and left-handed people. Verses which refer to the "right hand" of God have been changed to the "mighty hand".

In an effort to be 'gender-inclusive', the text has also been cleansed of male pronouns in reference to God and the term "Father-Mother" employed.

Any verses which describe evil as darkness have been removed on grounds of racism and where possible the Jews become "people" of non-specific race.

The Rt Rev Nigel McCulloch, Bishop of Wakefield dismissed the new Bible as an "unhelpful" novelty which was being used by the publishers as a moneyspinner.

The Rt Rev John Taylor, Bishop of St Albans, said he feared the new Bible reflected a "worrying trend" in political correctness which threatens to "emasculate Christianity."

The politically correct movement has not had much success in the Church of England. But in America, feminist theology is thriving.

Name: Independent on Sunday Date: 11/12/94 Author: Paul Routledge and Stephen Castle
Blair puts Labour troops on alert for snap election

TONY BLAIR has ordered Labour to speed up preparations for a general election amid signs that the Prime Minister is increasingly anxious to bring the Euro-rebels back into the Tory parliamentary fold.

The Labour leader wants a quick replacement for Clause 4, which commits the party to nationalisation. A special conference to approve a new version could be held as early as Easter. Mr Blair has also asked for work on tax, employment and welfare policies to be stepped up for an election manifesto.

The Labour leader is concerned that his party could be caught out by a snap election perhaps after a change of Prime Minister next year.

Tory troubles were increased yesterday by another poll showing that the Government is set to lose the Dudley West by-election on Thursday by a huge margin. The poll, for GMTV's Sunday Programme, showed Labour with a 44.8 per cent lead, and only 18.4 per cent of the electors saying they will vote Tory. More than half said that John Major should step down. At the 1992 general election, the late Dr John Blackburn retained the seat for the Tories with a 5,789 majority.

The jittery condition of the British Government was highlighted at the European Council summit in Essen, where both Mr Major and Douglas Hurd, the Foreign Secretary, called for "consultation and discussion on the merits of a single currency".

Mr Major warned yesterday of the dangers of Britain being left behind if a group of European Union members pushed ahead with a single currency. Nobody could be certain, he said, of the economic impact on the UK.

But at a dinner for heads of government on Friday night he struck a much more Eurosceptical tone. It was doubtful, he argued, that the 15 member states could achieve a single currency by the end of the century. He added that the EU's objectives were no longer clear and that it had lost touch with ordinary people.

And on Radio 4's Today programme, Mr Major gave the Eurosceptics in his party further encouragement. The timescale for the introduction of a single currency, set out at Maastricht, was not going to be met, he said. He added: "I have not ruled out the prospect of a referendum."

His comments increased speculation that the eight Eurorebels who lost the Conservative whip may soon be re-admitted to the parliamentary party. Several MPs welcomed what the Prime Minister said. One Euro-sceptic leader, Sir Teddy Taylor, MP for Southend, described it as "a step in the right direction".

However, one rebel, Michael Cartiss, said the Prime Minister's move to postpone a single European currency beyond 1999 was "not an olive branch".

It was simply a recognition of practicalities. Another rebel who declined to be named, said "they need us more than we need them" and called for Mr Hurd's removal from the Foreign Office.

"Douglas is not going to break any china. We need somebody to carry the Union Jack into Brussels and if necessary be prepared to break crockery."

The Tory turbulence over Europe will heighten Mr Blair's desire to prepare his party for an early election. He thinks the party's policies need much more work before it puts its case to the country. Tax reform is one area where Mr Blair wants to speed up policy-making, adding more detail to Labour commitments to close abuses and loopholes and to review corporate and environmental taxation.

He also wants to develop policies for job creation and the information super-highway and improving education standards.

The selection of candidates which has been delayed by the Boundary Commission, will also be given priority and Labour aims to have candidates in position in all key marginals in a year's time. Early in the New Year the party leadership will appoint advertising and polling agencies. Mr Blair believes the Government defeat over VAT has given the Opposition a chance to neutralise taxation as an anti-Labour issue. Labour will argue that if the Tories ever gain a large enough majority, they will impose VAT on fuel at the full rate.

Name: Independent on Sunday Date: 12/12/94 Author: David McKittrick, Ireland on Sunday
RUC chief believes odds on a lasting peace are 60-40

THE IRA'S ceasefire has a better than even chance of lasting at least until next Easter according to the private assessment of the head of the Royal Ulster Constabulary, Sir Hugh Annesley.

The RUC chiefs view is that the ceasefire has a 60-40 chance of lasting until next Easter, and if it does, the police calculate, its prospects beyond that date are much brighter.

Sir Hugh gave his assessment last Monday, in advance of the opening of the talks between Sinn Fein and British Government which the ceasefire has facilitated. He told a dozen selected journalists, in an unattributable briefing at RUC headquarters in Belfast, that he believed the IRA would review the situation around Easter, assessing what progress Sinn Fein had made in the political arena.

According to sources who were present, Sir Hugh was noticeably more relaxed on the issue of the IRA handing in its weaponry than the Government appeared to be last week. When Sinn Fein members met the Government team at Stormont on Friday, the delegation led by Martin McGuinness was told the retention of weaponry by the IRA would constitute a barrier to substantive negotiations.

By contrast, Sir Hugh told journalists that much IRA weaponry was home-made, note desc="discuss"> implying that even if its equipment were handed over the organisation could at any future stage resume production of weapons such as mortars and rockets.

He confirmed reports that the IRA was continuing to size up targets and was carrying on with many of its traditional activities, apart from actually carrying out attacks.

On policing, he was concerned that no deals should be made behind closed doors, saying that there should instead be open debate on how Northern Ireland would be policed in future.

He left the impression that he believed the Government should not have placed such stress on pressing republicans to use the word "permanent" in relation to the IRA cessation of violence which was announced on 31 August, and indicated that the RUC had been pleasantly surprised that the cessation statement went as far as it did.

On the question of guns, his thinking was that what mattered most was not the possession of weaponry but the will to use it. Sir Hugh's view was that the important point was to keep the peace process going as long as possible, and to make it as much of a "fudge" as possible. He cautioned against ministers forcing the pace. His view was that the longer the ceasefire went on the less chance there was that the IRA campaign would resume.

Meanwhile, an American delegation led by Commerce Secretary Ron Brown is to attend a conference this week aimed at attracting new investment to Northern Ireland, and on Thursday Government officials are due to meet minor loyalist politicians linked with Protestant paramilitary groups.

Name: Independent on Sunday Date: 11/12/94 Author: Peter Victor
One winner scoops £17.5m lottery jackpot

ONE British man or woman is believed to be £17.5m richer this morning as the winner of the National Lottery's first "rollover" double jackpot, drawn last night.

The prize, at least six times larger than any other sum of money won in a game of chance in Britain, represented the previous week's jackpot, which no-one had won, "rolled over" into last night's draw.

"This must be the largest Christmas present in history," said David Rigg, communications director of Camelot, the lottery operator.

The six jackpot numbers were drawn as: 26, 47, 49, 43, 35, 38. The bonus number was 28.

Today will see a frenzy of media activity in the search for Britain's biggest instant millionaire, and a flurry of calculations about just what £17.5m will buy. One suggestion last night: the Royal Yacht Britannia, as the Queen may be getting a new one.

A Camelot spokesman said: "One person is believed to have won £17.5m; another 10 have won between £250,00 and £300,000 each; and 680,000 people are winners."

The company refused to say where the winning jackpot ticket had been sold. The winner has a right to remain anonymous. "Until they come forward and claim the prize we must honour that right," a spokesman said.

Confirmation of the results was expected later today, he added.

Last night's jackpot had been estimated at £15m at the time of the live BBC draw, but was later revised after ticket sales were collated. Ticket sales, up 20 per cent on Friday of the corresponding day last week, exceeded 60 million for the first time after a last minute rush by people eager to cash in on the giant jackpot. Queues had been the order of the day at shops nationwide. People had made an "unbelievable" late dash for tickets, with queues at outlets stretching on to streets in towns across the country. Over £25m worth of tickets were believed to have been sold yesterday alone. "For two hours, we were selling £50,000-worth a minute," said the Camelot spokesman.

Tickets were in such demand at a petrol station in Hexham, Northumberland - the only outlet for miles - that at one point it ran out of tickets and owners considered turning off the shop computer to stop lottery fever affecting other business.

The prize fund for last night's draw, held in Belfast, was £34.5m.

The largest lottery prize ever won is believed to have been $111,240,463 and 10 cents, (about £71m) scooped by Leslie Robbins and Colleen De Vries, of Fond du Lac, Wisconsin, USA, for the Powerball Lottery on 7 July 1993.

Name: Independent on Sunday Date: 11/12/94 Author: Reuter
Chechnya on brink

GROZNY - Fears of a Caucasus war increased yesterday as planes struck targets in Chechnya. Russia sealed off the rebel region's borders and airspace.

The leader of the Moscow-backed rebels fighting to topple Dzhokhar Dudayev, the mainly Muslim region's president, said he would order his men to advance if Moscow did not act. "We will take upon our shoulders the burden...if the Russians do not enter," opposition leader Umar Avturkhanov said at his headquarters 55 miles north of Grozny, the Chechen capital.

Yesterday, after a high-altitude bomber made four passes over Grozny, thick black smoke rose from a military base south-east of the city. Low-flying jets later fired a missile which hit an apartment block near the centre. However, there were no reports of casualties.

Name: Daily Telegraph Date: 12/12/94 Author: Suzanne Lowry in Paris
Delors gives up race to be president Relief for the Tory sceptics as their federalist foe says 'Non' to France

M JACQUES DELORS, outgoing president of the European Commission and bogeyman of British Euro-sceptics, gave up the near certainty of becoming president of France when he announced last night that he would not contest the presidential election next spring. M Delors, who was six points clear of his main rival in the opinion polls, ended months of speculation during a live television interview.

His election would have meant that, when the Maastricht Treaty is reviewed in 1996, Britain would have faced a federalist Chancellor Kohl in the German corner and an even more federalist M Delors in the French seat.

His decision not to contest the election has dealt the federalist cause a severe blow: without him as leader of France to replace M Francois Mitterrand, the Franco-German axis may lose force.

But the heaviest blow is to the Left. M Delors had promised to give his decision "before Christmas" so that the Socialist Party would have time to find someone else. But the Left has no other obvious candidate.

M Delors cited personal reasons: the fact that he will be 70 next year and that he had worked ceaselessly for 50 years. His wife, Marie, is believed to have worried about his health and argued for retirement. He now wanted "a career better balanced between reflection and action", he said. He also said that the absence of a Left-wing majority in parliament to help him carry out the reforms he believed France needed led him to his "difficult" decision.

Although the opinion polls suggest that he would have beaten M Edouard Balladur, the Gaullist prime minister, by 54 per cent to 48 per cent in the second round of the presidential contest, they also showed that the country had no wish to see a return of the Left to overall power. This would have meant "cohabitation" between a Leftist president and a Rightist legislature.

M Delors said that he had no wish to work with a government that "does not reflect my ideas".

The best he could have hoped for was to gain the support of some key centrists. Ex-president Valery Giscard d'Estaing had discreetly offered his backing and M Raymond Barre, a former prime minister, is a friend. Both might have served in a cohabitation government.

However, the Gaullists would have been bound to dominate and the ideas of M Balladur and M Alain Juppé, the foreign minister, on Europe are much closer to those of Mr John Major than to M Delors. Last night M Delors attacked M Balladur's idea of a "Europe of circles" in which each member country could progress at its own speed. "We have to have political cement," he said.

M Jack Lang, the former Socialist culture minister, expressed his "shock" and "profound sadness" at M Delors's announcement. He respected the decision, but he regretted it.

The same shock echoed through the rank and file of the Socialists. Contingency plans had been discussed - but with little conviction - as doubts grew last week over M Delors's candidacy. M Lang may stand; even M Michel Rocard, the former prime minister who has all but withdrawn from public life since the Socialists' humiliation in the European elections last year, may be resurrected.

But to what effect? The Socialist Party, founded by M Mitterrand to carry him to the Elysee, could now fall apart. A likely outcome is some kind of new movement of the Left, led by some of the younger partisans - perhaps even Mme Martine Aubry, M Delors's daughter.

Name: Daily Telegraph Date: 12/12/94 Author: Robert Shrimsley, Political Staff
Ministers herald EU turning point

M DELORS'S decision not to stand was hailed by Tories as a major boost for the Government and a turning point for Britain in Europe.

Senior Tories said it would enhance Mr Major's hopes of moving the debate away from closer European union towards independently evolving nation states.

Privately ministers have also welcomed the news, which they believe makes it more likely that M Edouard Balladur, the Right-wing French prime minister, will win the presidency. Many feel that M Balladur shares much of Mr Major's broad outlook on the future of Europe.

There had been concern that M Delors could reignite the French Left, standing almost above party on his reputation of battling for France in Europe. However, ministers always harboured less fear of M Delors than did the Tory rank and file. Friends of Mr Hurd said he had never felt intimidated by M Delors because he was transparent in his views and open in fighting his corner. Mr Hurd also believed that the decision would not greatly alter the course of French foreign policy. If the Left had won, M Delors might have been a significant figure in any administration.

Mr Tristan Garel-Jones, former European affairs minister, said the decision meant that "new ideas for the way the European Union should develop will fall on more fertile ground".

Mr John Townend, a member of the 1922 Committee, said: "This could be a turning point for the Government. Now there is a much greater possibility that the Prime Minister's view of a Europe of nation states will become the accepted view."

Sceptics were less impressed. Sir Teddy Taylor, the MP for Southend East, said it made little difference who stood. "This is entirely a matter for the French," he said. "It does not make any difference because France has always played a very clever Euro-game getting what it wants from the EC."

Name: Daily Telegraph Date: 12/12/94 Author: Robert Shrimsley and George Jones
Get into line with party, Major is told

MR MICHAEL Portillo gave warning yesterday that the Tory right could not be united until its rebel MPs were restored to the whip and a firmly sceptical stance on European integration and a single currency were adopted by the Government.

Interviewed on the Breakfast with Frost programme, the Employment Secretary said: "I understand that we need to heal the party. I understand that they are looking for reassurance that we are not going to take further steps towards the political union of Europe."

Although he delivered a strong appeal for calm reflection and for a "healing process", Mr Portillo markedly refused to back Mr Major's decision to withdraw the party whip from his rebels.

Asked repeatedly if he agreed with the withdrawal of the whip, Mr Portillo said: "The Prime Minister felt it very strongly and I do understand this. It is the right decision if the Prime Minister believes he has given his word... It is the right decision for him. The Prime Minister felt very upset with the rebels."

This implicit pressure on Mr Major to get into line with his party came at the start of what is likely to be another miserable week for the Prime Minister.

On Wednesday he faces a knife-edge vote on Spanish fishing rights, with Tories threatening to side with Labour, and on Thursday the Conservatives are expecting a crushing defeat in the Dudley West by-election.

Mr Portillo's comments also emphasised the splits in the party, especially as Mr Major and Mr Douglas Hurd, the Foreign Secretary, returned from a European summit in Essen calling for a national debate on the issue of a single currency.

Name: The Daily Telegraph Date: 12/12/94 Author: Michael Fleet
Shot scientist died trying to make 999 call

AN Oxford University scientist who was shot dead as he made tea in his kitchen dialled 999 before he died but was unable to speak to the operator.

Police traced the call from Dr Michael Meenaghan after the operator heard groans and laboured breathing. Officers broke in to the locked house after seeing his body on the kitchen floor. They found the telephone still off the hook.

Dr Meenaghan, 35, was an expert on genetic fingerprinting, used to identify rapists and murderers, and had been involved in projects to refine the technique.

He had recently been working as a research assistant at the Sir William Dunn School of Pathology, a faculty of Oxford University, which has featured in the television series Inspector Morse.

A colleague said the work was non-controversial and he could think of no reason why Dr Meenaghan had been killed. "I saw him on Friday and he seemed his normal self," said Mr Timothy Beesley, who worked in the same department. Dr Meenaghan also lectured medical students at Oxford.

Dr Meenaghan, who lived on a private part of the Blackbird Leys estate in Oxford, had been hit in the chest by a single shotgun blast from outside his kitchen window on Saturday afternoon.

Neighbours said that in recent weeks he had kept his doors locked even when at home and would keep his curtains drawn all day. He had also changed his telephone number, made it ex-directory and kept a sheet draped across a bedroom window.

The killer had used an alleyway next to the house to reach the kitchen window, and shot Dr Meenaghan as he stood by the sink. Police said there was no evidence to suggest it was the work of a contract killer, but were not ruling out any possibilities.

Dr Meenaghan was said by neighbours to have had a "tangled" love-life, with one woman who was believed locally to have been his wife moving out of the house in April after arriving with him five years ago. A woman and her son moved in soon afterwards but they left the house a few weeks later and Dr Meenaghan had since been living alone.

Detectives said that Dr Meenaghan was thought not to have married and were studying letters found at the house which suggested there may have been other girlfriends and which they hoped would throw more light on his relationships.

Det Supt John Bound, of Thames Valley police, said detectives plan to speak to any former girlfriends of the pony-tailed scientist, who was known to colleagues as "Spike".

He said: "It appears he was shot from outside the window, which was either broken by the shot or before the shotgun was fired so it could be pointed through."

Neighbours heard a shot shortly after 4pm, some believing it was a car back-firing.

Mr Henry Sherriff said: "I was decorating a back room at the time and did not think straight away that it was gun. The next thing I knew, there was a helicopter flying overhead and an ambulance outside his house."

Police used a helicopter and officers on the ground in an unsuccessful attempt to catch the killer and were yesterday attempting to trace associates of the dead man and making house-to-house inquiries.

Name: The Guardian Date: 12/12/94 Author: Michael White, Political Editor
PM 'three votes from challenge' Euro referendum now the key issue

JOHN Major escaped facing a leadership challenge by a hair-breadth last month, only because leftwing Conservative malcontents at Westminster refused persistent pressure to throw in their lot with rightwing Eurosceptics and trigger a contest, it emerged last night.

The plotters would have been as little as three votes short of the 34-MP threshold if the eight rightwing MPs who lost the party whip over the European budget bill had not been disqualified from voting.

But Tory supporters of Michael Heseltine's claims to the premiership refused to be conscripted to make up the difference. "The timing wasn't right, and we didn't want to be aligned with the extremists. But if there was a contest now, Michael would walk it," said one MP.

Mr Major has heard such threats before and loyalists derided them again last night. Boosted by what he called a "productive and rather good-humoured" European summit in Essen, the Prime Minister believes the worst is over, and that in Brussels and at Westminster the tide will quietly flow his way in 1995.

In a Mail on Sunday article he accused the rebels of self indulgence and said that they must toe the line. Privately, pro-European ministers point to Jacques Delors's announcement last night that he will not after all be the left's candidate for the presidency of France as more good news for anti-federalism.

But the volatility of the situation was underlined by yesterday's disclosure that allies of Sir George Gardiner, the veteran Thatcherite campaigner, made at least three separate leadership approaches to key Heseltine allies in the run-up to the leadership deadline.

The Secretary for Trade and Industry has been conspicuous for his low profile during the recent battles over Europe and VAT on household fuel. But pressure is growing on Mr Heseltine from leftwing Tories to abandon his opposition to a future referendum on a single European currency, much as he ditched the poll tax in his 1990 campaign.

"He must come out for a referendum. We cannot go into the next election without offering one," a veteran MP said last night.

The calculation echoed the growing demand among Eurosceptics that a referendum U-turn is the only way to start healing a breach within the ranks which both sides believe is contributing to Labour's massive lead in the polls - in Dudley West, scene of Thursday's bye-election, and across the country.

The Foreign Secretary, Douglas Hurd, is edging towards the inevitability of a referendum while the Chancellor, Kenneth Clarke holds out.

Reports that he is operating in tandem with Mr Heseltine, his putative leadership rival, against a referendum seem wide of the mark.

Some Tories are invoking the spectre of the Labour leader, Tony Blair, getting in first by pledging to hold a referendum, so as to put pressure on Mr Major.

They cite private remarks made to foreign correspondents last week. Yesterday, the shadow foreign secretary, Robin Cook, made cautiously positive noises about the attractions of putting the issue "fairly before the people" if a Blair cabinet negotiated satisfactory terms in 1996-97.

Loyalists hope that next week's Christmas break will calm tempers, so that the rebels can be readmitted to the party whip in the new year, according to the coded formula being used by some MPs and ministers, including Michael Portillo.

In a Breakfast With Frost interview on BBC1, Mr Portillo, the third likely runner if Mr Major decides to step down - or is pushed - insisted yesterday that he wanted to "pause a little more" to consider the consequences before conceding a referendum and backed Mr Major's public positions.

But he managed, three times, to avoid saying that he would have taken the Tory whip away from hardline sceptics, whose tactics angered and dismayed some rightwingers because it prevented at least some of them signing the list of MPs willing to tell Sir Marcus Fox, chairman of the 1922 committee, that they wanted a leadership contest. Thirty-four names were needed and some accounts claim they were as close as 31.

Tory MPs on both wings of the party are now claiming that elder statesmen like Sir Edward Heath and Lord Whitelaw believe that Mr Major has lost control of his party in the wake of the loss of nine dissidents, technically leaving the Government in a 49.62 per cent minority in the Commons, and the defeat over VAT on fuel.

Name: The Guardian Date: 12/12/94 Author: Andrew Gumbel in Paris
Delors will not run for Elysée

JACQUES DELORS announced last night that he would not be a candidate in next year's French presidential election, leaving his Socialist party reeling.

The party now has almost no chance of holding on to the presidency when Francois Mitterrand steps down in May.

Mr Delors's decision also leaves disappointed those European leaders who were counting on him to defend his vision of the continent's future from the Elysée Palace.

The outgoing European Commission president read out a statement during a current affairs programme on French television, saying he did not feel he would be able to rally a sympathetic majority and that, at the age of 69, he had to take the personal toll of a presidential candidacy into account.

"The question for me was whether, if I were elected president, I would have the political means at my disposal to carry out indispensable reforms," Mr Delors said. "After long reflection and consultation, I came to the conclusion that the lack of a majority to support my policies ... would not allow me to achieve my aims."

He said it would not be honest to make promises which he could not deliver - calculating that the right would maintain a majority in parliament even if new polls were held next year.

"The disappointments of tomorrow would be worse than the regrets of today," Mr Delors said.

His decision brought an end to weeks of speculation about his intentions but threw the presidential race, which all the opinion polls had said he was leading comfortably, into deep confusion.

The left, still smarting from its resounding defeat in last year's general election, now has no credible candidate.

"I feel great pain and great sadness. I can hardly believe it," said a shaken Jack Lang, the former Socialist culture minister. Mr Lang, along with other party stalwarts such as Pierre Mauroy or Lionel Jospin, may now be a candidate himself. However, none looks likely to make an impression on voters.

The presidential race is more likely to amount to a contest on the centre-right between the Gaullist leader, Jacques Chirac, and the prime minister, Edouard Balladur.

Mr Delors, who steps down as European Commission president in January, suggested he would not retire, but would lead a life "more balanced between reflection and action".

He can expect to be attacked for a lack of nerve, and the apparent lack of ambition which has characterised his career.

Name: The Guardian Date: 12/12/94 Author: James Meek in Moscow and David Hearst in Grozny
Russian forces steamroll into breakaway republic

RUSSIAN troops moved into the rebel territory of Chechenia in massive force yesterday, hoping to intimidate its separatist leader President Dzhokhar Dudayev into peaceful surrender without resorting to a bloody assault on his stronghold, the city of Grozny.

Hundreds of tanks, armoured personnel carriers and self-propelled artillery pieces, with helicopter outriders, rumbled through the snow-covered north Caucasian countryside.

But the Russian advance ran into stiffer resistance than expected from volunteers in the tiny republic of Ingushetia, lying between North Ossetia and Chechenia. An advancing Russian armoured column was halted by Ingush fighters, who are ethnic kin of the Chechens and speak a similar language, as it crossed Ingush territory.

The Russian president, Boris Yeltsin, vanished from public view as his forces prepared to go into action at the weekend. An aide said he was recovering from an operation.

In a national appeal, reported last night by the Itar-Tass news agency, Mr Yeltsin said he had ordered troops in to protect Chechenia's civilians.

"A threat of full-scale civil war [in Chechenia] carries a threat to talks, to the free expression of the will of the Chechen people," he was quoted as saying. "We should avert a breakdown in talks."

However, the assault marks the parting of the ways between Mr Yeltsin and his last bastion of support in parliament, the liberal Russia's Choice faction of Yegor Gaidar.

"A military action in Chechenia means war," Mr Gaidar said. " An attack on Grozny today means the death of Russia's democracy tomorrow."

Several hundred people rallied against Mr Yeltsin's Caucasus policy in central Moscow yesterday - the first significant anti-Yeltsin rally by reformist liberals.

Chechenia declared independence from the Russian Federation in 1991, but Russia and foreign governments have never recognised its sovereignty. The assault is therefore not technically an invasion.

In a written appeal to the Yeltsin flexes might by invading rebel republic peoples of Russia and the Caucausus , President Dudayev said reactionary imperial circles planned a bloodbath. "We still have enough strength to prevent a bloody blanket being thrown over the Caucasus and the whole of Russia," he wrote.

The international community is likely to believe Moscow has the right to restore control over a part of the federation.

The Russian spokesman Valentin Sergeyev, said Grozny would not be stormed and there would be talks.

By nightfall, Russian units were reported to have reached Tolstoy-Yurt, 10 miles from Grozny. They took control of Chechenia's petrochemical complex. As they passed through Ingushetia a series of clashes were reported.

According to one source six Russian armoured vehicles were left ablaze in Ingushetia. Journalists who reached Grozny from the North Ossetian capital, Vladikavkaz, said that the column had been stopped around Nazran.

Ingush volunteers were apparently heeding a call from their president not to allow Russian tanks to pass.

Russia's Ekho Moskvy radio station quoted the Ingush vice-president Boris Agapov, as saying five Ingush citizens were killed in clashes.

Another clash occurred in Znamenskoye, stronghold of the anti-Dudayev opposition, and there were reports of Russian air attacks around Grozny.

The Chechen information minister, Movladi Udugov, said yesterday 40 Russian troops and six armoured personnel carriers had been captured on Chechenia's eastern border.

Russian troops were far from controlling all roads through Chechenia yesterday. On the road to Grozny from Nalchik capital of the republic of Kabardino-Balkaria, not a single Russian soldier could be seen.

The Chechens have mined bridges and blocked roads with concrete slabs.

Grozny was calm last night. The lights were burning in the presidential palace and outside, in the main square, hundreds of armed men milled around.

Talks had been scheduled between Russian representatives and the Dudayev regime for today in Vladikavkaz, but it was not clear whether they would go ahead. Chechenia's finance minister, Taimaz Abubakarov, is to travel to Vladikavkaz today.

Name: The Guardian Date: 12/12/94 Author: Alex Bellos
Gun murder of lecturer baffles police

POLICE investigating the murder of an Oxford University lecturer were last night still baffled as to the motive, despite claims by neighbours that the 35-year-old Scot had recently stepped up security at his home.

Michael Meenaghan, who taught at the Sir William Dunn School of Pathology, was thought to have been shot by a contract killer as he made tea at his terrace house on the Blackbird Leys estate in Oxford.

Police were alerted by a 999 call from his phone on Saturday at 4.30pm. A spokesman said no speech was heard but the sound of someone struggling for breath could be made out in the background.

Officers discovered Dr Meenaghan's body on the kitchen floor after they forced an entry into his house. The post mortem showed that he died of a shotgun wound to his chest.

Detective Superintendent Jon Bound, of Thames Valley police, who is leading the investigation, said: "Dr Meenaghan had lived at the house for five years, most recently alone, but we are still trying to establish his marital status and are interviewing colleagues and friends.

"At this stage we know of no motive for this brutal murder. It looks like a contract killing, but we are keeping an open mind."

A kitchen window at the back of the house was smashed. "The gunman either shot him through the window or smashed the window and pointed his gun through it," said Mr Bound.

He added that he had no evidence that Dr Meenaghan had recently become concerned for his safety - despite repeated claims by neighbours that the doctor had stepped up security, having switched to an ex-directory phone number and always keeping the curtains drawn and the doors locked.

Detectives were known to have examined a series of letters found in Dr Meenaghan's house which suggested a series of relationships he had had with women.

The fatal gunshot was heard by neighbours. Henry Sherriff said: "I heard a loud bang come from his house. I was decorating in our back room at the time and I thought at first it was a car backfiring. It didn't strike me that it was a gun although it sounded very close.

"The next thing we heard was a police helicopter and saw the ambulance arrive.

"I cannot think why anyone would have wanted to shoot him. He was a very pleasant man who often chatted to our kids. I cannot imagine him having any enemies."

Another neighbour, who did not want to be named, said he had worked with Dr Meenaghan for several months at the school of pathology. "He was the last person you would expect anyone to attack - it is a real mystery."

Tim Beesley, a colleague at the School of Pathology, said the doctor, known to his friends as Spike, spent the last four years researching molecular biology.

He said: "I am stunned by what has happened and just can't take it in. The circumstances of his death are very strange and I can't think what is behind it. His research was quite straightforward and certainly not controversial."

Dr Meenaghan was believed to have only one living relative, an elderly mother, who has been told.

Mr Bound, also a resident of Blackbird Leys, is one of the Thames Valley force's most respected officers.

Name: The Guardian Date: 12/12/94 Author: Andrew Culf, media Correspondent
Individual punter scoops £17m jackpot in lottery Biggest British winner at gambling is one person, not a syndicate, say the organisers

THE winner of Britain's largest ever gambling prize - £17,880,003 - was discovered last night by Camelot, organisers of the National Lottery. After sifting through a handful of hoaxes and false claims, Camelot said: "We think we have got the winner. It is not a syndicate but one person."

The winning ticket will be officially verified today and the winner will receive counselling to cope with the shock of becoming an overnight multi-millionaire and the practicalities of handling such a large sum.

David Rigg, Camelot's communications director, said: "Our winners' advisory service is there to make sure winners understand the legal and financial issues."

One of the first decisions will be whether to remain anonymous - unless the winner is unmasked by tabloids offering a £5,000 bounty for information about jackpot recipients. The winner rang Camelot's hotline minutes after watching the draw on BBC1, but the organisers had to weed out hoax calls.

The winning numbers were 26, 35, 38, 43, 47 and 49. The bonus number was 28. Camelot said 10 winners, each set to receive the second prize of £337,644, had also been identified.

A total of £61.5 million of tickets were sold in the fourth week of the lottery, an increase of 27 per cent on the previous week's £48.2 million. The prize pool was inflated because last week's £6.9 million jackpot was not won.

Forty-two per cent of ticket sales, worth more than £25 million, came in a surge on Saturday, one of the busiest shopping days of the year.

More than £34.5 million was paid out in prizes and Camelot estimated a further £15 million would go to the lottery's designated good causes.

Camelot is already predicting a jackpot of £6 million for next Saturday's draw.

Mr Rigg denied reports of a rift with the BBC over the quality of the live draw programme.

Saturday's draw was watched by 14.5 million viewers, a 500,000 increase on last week, according to unofficial audience estimates. Embarrassment of choices faces new super-rich who could just ponder options on £1m a year

BY THE standards of the mega-rich, the £17 million lottery winnings are small scale. The winner will never be in the same league as the likes of John Paul Getty II, Richard Branson or Andrew Lloyd Webber. But he or she could certainly set themselves up in a luxurious lifestyle, with a title for snob appeal and the social status of a major philanthropist.

A home will come first. The estate of Great Handridge in Buckinghamshire is on the market at £3.5 million - complete with a Georgian house, a pheasant shoot and a small stud farm. Add a London pad: for example, a mint-condition four-bedroom house in Belgravia is on offer at £650,000. And for an overseas hideaway: forget a Caribbean island such as Branson's, which would barely leave enough money to fly there. Tax-efficient Guernsey, though, has properties for £5 million, but for somewhere a little warmer a game lodge in Kruger National Park, South Africa, could be a snip at £95,000.

If the winner has aristocratic pretensions, the Earldom of Arran is up for auction this Wednesday, expected to fetch £500,000.

But if owning a football club has more appeal, Jack Walker picked up Blackburn Rovers for £2 million - though he has ploughed in £23 million in transfers since.

If it's glamour the winner is after, they could take a leaf out of the Princess of Wales's book. Her annual grooming bill is £150,000. With an off-the-peg Versace suit starting at £3,000, it wouldn't be hard to double her bill.

But if it's a place in heaven the winner aspires to, then the £17 million, as a single donation, would amount to half Help the Aged's annual income-or £7 million more than the total income of a portfolio of charities such as Childline, the Children's Society and the Terrence Higgins Trust - and still be left with a handy £7 million.

More generally, the winner could aim to buy the gratitude of the nation. They couldn't match the Sainsbury family, who gave £30 million to the National Gallery. But with £6 million the Clore estate got a gallery named after them, and £7.6 million would have saved the Three Graces, which, thanks partly to a donation of £1 million by John Paul Getty II is being unveiled by the Victoria and Albert Museum today instead of the Getty Museum. , Getty II.

The winner might, however, resist the temptation to spend, and invest the money instead - in which case there are some tricky choices to be made, like who is going to manage it. Done properly that could be a full-time job in itself.

Putting all your cash in one vehicle is the single biggest mistake serious investors can make. Traditionally most balanced investment portfolios would contain a mixture of shares, government stock (gilts), and property. Shares tend to perform better in the long term, gilts are less spectacular but safer, and while property is volatile it can produce big profits.

Exotic investments like fine wines, forestry, diamonds - or even boring old gold - also have their advocates.

But then just placing £17.5 million into London money market investments would, at current interest rates, earn a tad more than £1 million a year. Enough to jog along quite comfortably.

Name: The Independent Date: 12/12/94 Author: Andrew Higgins in Moscow
Russians pit huge forces against rebels

Launching its biggest military assault since the invasion of Afghanistan in 1979, Russia yesterday poured hundreds of tanks and thousands of troops into the renegade region of Chechnya, a wild cauldron of clans, guns and a history of rebellion against Moscow.

The massive assault brought howls of protest from liberals in Moscow, scattered resistance on the ground and a plea for peace talks from President Boris Yeltsin, who vanished into a hospital on the eve of what could prove the most perilous moment of his presidency.

As Russian forces streamed towards the capital of Grozny in three separate columns, supported by Mi-8 attack helicopters and Su-25 fighters, the Chechen leader, Dzhokar Dudayev, said the attack would lay "a bloody blanket" across the north Caucasus, home to more than 30 mostly Muslim ethnic groups.

A government spokesman in Moscow said the troops would pause before entering Grozny, a city of 400,000 founded in the last century as a cossack fortress. The name means Terrible or Fearsome. This seemed to suggest a strategy of siege aimed at forcing Mr Dudayev's capitulation without the large loss of life that a head on assault would risk.

Interfax news agency reported that a priority task for Russian troops was an oil refinery outside Grozny and a strategic oil pipeline that passes through the region. In a clear attempt to woo the local population Russia's military muscle was accompanied by vast quantities of food.

President Yeltsin did not appear in public but Itar Tass news agency carried what it says was an address to the nation. "We should avert a breakdown in talks," Mr Yeltsin was quoted as saying "Our aim is to find a political solution to the problems of one of the members of the Russian federation and to protect its citizens from armed extremism."

Russian liberals, including some of Mr Yeltsin's closest former allies such as the former prime minister, Yegor Gaidar, have denounced military action as a threat not only to lives in Chechnya but to Russia's fledgling democracy. A statement from Mr Gaidar's Russia's Choice party warned of a hardline ascendancy in the Kremlin that "dreams of murdering Russia's democracy and forcing the people back behind barbed wire."

But only 500 people turned out for a demonstration in Pushkin Square in central Moscow to protest against the military intervention.

Aside from Mr Yeltsin's brief appeal there was only ominous silence from the Kremlin yesterday. Mr Yeltsin, who serves as the country's commander in chief, is said by his office to have had nose surgery to relieve breathing trouble.

A statement on Saturday did not say when the operation took place but only that recovery would take about eight days during which Mr Yeltsin could still work.

The president has not been seen in public since his return from the CSCE conference in Budapest last week. On Friday, only two days after his Defence Minister, Pavel Grachev, met Mr Dudayev and vowed not to use force, Mr Yeltsin issued a decree ordering "the use of all means at the disposal of the state" to tame Chechnya's three-year long secessionist rebellion.

Mr Yeltsin tried to impose a state of emergency on Chechnya when it first broke with Moscow in 1991 but he backed down after parliament refused to ratify the move.

The main flash-point in the early hours of yesterday's invasion, launched shortly before dawn, came near the town of Karbulak, a small settlement in the region of Ingushetia, which borders Chechnya and is inhabited by ethnic kin of the Chechens.

The region's president, Ruslan Aushev, was quoted as saying his people were blocking Russian troops in Ingushetia. Several people were reported killed. Concerted resistance however, seems to have been minimal.

The Chechen government, which declared unilateral independence from Russian at the end of 1991, appears divided itself over how to respond.

The Foreign Minister, a Jordanian-born businessman called Yusef Shamsudin, said Chechnya would now boycott talks scheduled for later today in the nearby Russia-controlled town of Vladikavkaz.

"We are talking with guns now," he said.

Name: The Independent Date: 12/12/94 Author: Julian Mundy in Paris
Delors bows out of presidency race

Jacques Delors dropped a political bombshell last night, saying he would not be a candidate in France's presidential election next spring.

Mr Delors, outgoing President of the European Commission, gave both personal and professional reasons as he read from a prepared statement during a television interview. Mr Delors, the favourite in opinion polls over the past few weeks, had been expected to stand for the opposition Socialist Party.

Noting that he would soon be 70, he said: "I have decided not to be a candidate". He looked forward to a time of "reflection, not action".

Politically, he spoke of the difficulties of another period of "cohabitation" - a president from one camp and a government from another. "I would have the impression of having lied to the French," he said. Cohabitation would mean proposing "a programme which could not be put into practice". France is now living through such a period, with a Socialist President and a conservative government.

Mr Delors' decision is a boon for the right, now virtually assured of taking the Elysee Palace when Francois Mitterrand steps down. It is a catastrophe for the Left, which had put all its hopes in Mr Delors. Nobody in the Socialist Party, routed in general elections last year, has Mr Delors' stature. No other Socialist could expect to pick up the votes from the centre and even the right that he might have attracted.

A month ago, Mr Delors published a book on his views and gave a series of interviews, convincing many commentators that he was sure to stand. He soared in the opinion polls displacing Edouard Balladur, the Gaullist Prime Minister, who had topped all polls for more than a year.

The focus in the presidential battle now returns to the two Gaullist contenders, Mr Balladur, and Jacques Chirac, the mayor of Paris and former prime minister. The prospect now is for a second round of elections on 7 May in which only right-wing candidates will stand. The first round on 23 April will eliminate the also-rans.

Mr Delors' decision may not be the last surprise in this presidential election campaign. With Mr Mitterrand, 78, seriously ill with cancer, there has been persistent speculation that he might step down before his mandate ends next May.

Mr Delors, is reported to have been under pressure from his family to retire once he leaves the EU job next month.

The journalist interviewing Mr Delors said Jack Lang, former Culture Minister, and another possible Socialist candidate, would be sad at Mr Delors' decision. "I am a little sad too," said Mr Delors.

Name: The Independent Date: 12/12/94 Author: Marianne MacDonald, Arts Reporter
Lottery winner joins the elite

The hunt was on yesterday to identify the person made rich beyond the dreams of avarice on Saturday night by winning the £17.8m National Lottery jackpot.

The winner, who was yesterday being interviewed by officials, was last night considering whether to go public.

The win will make them as rich as the rock star David Bowie and the actor Roger Moore, both estimated this year to be worth about £20m.

The size of the jackpot on Saturday was swollen by the £6.9m rolled over from the week before, when no one won the top prize. That bad record sales of 61.5 million tickets- up 27 per cent from 48.2 million for the previous draw.

Unusually, the winning numbers were all above 25. They were: 26, 35, 38, 43, 47, 49. The bonus number was 28.

Some national newspapers had put teams of reporters on to the job of finding the winner yesterday. Most were receiving calls from readers who were attempting to inform on their friends or neighbours to claim the £5,000 reward offered for information identifying the big winner by both the Sun and the Daily Mirror. The total prize pool was £34.5m. Of the £61.5 m spent on tickets, about £15m will go to causes, including charities, arts, sport and heritage.

The payout is by far the largest to go to one individual in the lottery's four-week history, although it does not compare with the $100m Jackpots hat have been won in United States lotteries.

Name: The Independent Date: 12/12/94 Author: Steve Boggan
Hitman may have killed Oxford lecturer

Detectives admitted to being baffled last night over the murder of an Oxford University lecturer who was shot through the window of his kitchen as he made a pot of tea.

Dr Michael Meenaghan's last breaths were heard by emergency operators after he dialled 999, but he had died from massive chest injuries by the time police smashed their way into his home. He had not been able to give any clues as to his assailant.

A lecturer at the Sir William Dunn School of Pathology at Oxford University, Dr Meenaghan, 35, was shot at about 4.30pm at his end terrace home on the Blackbird Leys estate in Oxford. Police called it an apparently motiveless attack.

Neighbours in the street of smart private houses said the lecturer had appeared nervous recently and had taken to drawing his curtains day and night. He had draped a sheet across an upstairs window, apparently as an extra precaution against being seen.

Officers at the scene on Saturday said all Dr Meenaghan's doors had been locked from the inside. He had made his telephone ex-directory within the past 12 months, yet initial inquiries into his private life are understood to have found nothing other than "exemplary" behaviour according to one senior officer.

"We're going to have our work cut out to even find a motive," said the officer.

"There is nothing to indicate why Dr Meenaghan was murdered or to suggest why anyone would want him dead."

There was speculation last night that the killing had the hallmarks of an ordered "hit" but Detective Superintendent Jon Bound, who is leading the inquiry, was keeping an open mind.

Detectives are understood to have studied a number of letters that may have thrown light on several relationships Dr Meenaghan had had with women. He was living alone at the time of his death.

Mr Bound said that the kitchen window of the Monks Close house had been broken, suggesting either that the attacker first smashed it before shooting Dr Meenaghan or that the gun was fired straight through it.

He said a 999 call was received after the shooting and added: "The emergency call was passed over to the police. No speech was heard but someone struggling for breath could be heard in the background. Police went to the house and it appeared secure. Looking through the kitchen window, a man's body was seen lying on the floor.

"Officers forced their way in and the lifeless body of Dr Michael Meenaghan was found. A telephone in the kitchen was found to be off the hook and the victim had been shot through the chest."

A post-mortem examination held at the John Radcliffe Hospital confirmed the cause of death as a haemorrhage of the chest.

Dr Meenaghan, a Scot, was believed to have had only one living relative, an elderly mother who is said to be in extremely poor health. She has been told of his death by police.

Oxford University refused to discuss the murder yesterday, but Tim Beesley a fellow academic at the School of Pathology, said Dr Meenaghan, nicknamed "Spike", had spent the past four years researching molecular biology.

He said: "I am stunned by what has happened and just can't take it in. The circumstances of his death are very strange and I can't think what is behind it.

"His research was quite straightforward and certainly not controversial.

"I was only speaking to him on Friday so this is a terrible shock. He came in to work in the morning and we chatted and passed the time of day.

"I saw him again when I left in the afternoon and he just seemed his normal self.

"Spike was quite a character and well liked in the department. He was originally from Glasgow and had a great sense of humour. I wasn't a close friend but he didn't seem to be troubled or to have any particular personal problems."

Neighbours of the lecturer described him as a pleasant quiet man who wore his grey hair in a ponytail and chatted regularly to local children.

One, who asked not to be named, said he had worked for several months with Dr Meenaghan at the school of pathology.

He said: "I didn't get to know him very well but he always seemed like a very nice bloke and would always say hello. He always seemed pretty cheerful.

"He was the last person you would expect anyone to attack - it's a real mystery."

Henry Sherriff, who lives four doors away, said: "I can't think why anyone would have wanted to shoot him.

"He was a very pleasant man who often chatted to our kids. I can't imagine him having any enemies."

Name: The Times Date: 12/12/94 Author: Alexandra Frean, Media Correspondent
£17.8m lottery prize goes to sole winner

THE winning National Lottery ticket for Saturday's £17.8 million jackpot is held by a single individual, according to Camelot, the game's operator.

This week's winning numbers were 26, 35, 38, 43, 47 and 49. The bonus number was 28.

A spokeswoman for Camelot said that although the only person to make a selection of all six winning numbers had come forward to claim the jackpot prize yesterday afternoon, it was still not clear whether the winner would agree to allow publicity.

The ten winners of this week's £338,000 "runner up" lottery prizes, who chose five correct numbers, plus the bonus ball, also claimed their winnings yesterday.

David Rigg, communications director of Camelot, said the fact that there was only one winner could be explained by the unusual range of high numbers. "These are typically less popular with players, who are inclined to use birth dates," he said.

Saturday's jackpot, swollen by the roll-over from the previous week's unclaimed £6.9 million top prize, boosted ticket sales last week. Total takings were £61.5 million, 27 per cent higher than the week before.

About £25 million in tickets were sold on Saturday, with sales running at at a rate of more than £50,000 a minute during a two-hour period in the afternoon. The total prize pool is worth about £34.5 million. A further £15 million will go to good causes.

Camelot said that 473 people won £4,461 by matching five correct numbers, 28,244 won £164 by selecting four numbers and 657,025 won £10 by choosing three winning numbers.

Name: The Times Date: 12/12/94 Author: Anatol Lieven in Grozny and Richard Beeston in Moscow
Russian tanks roll towards rebel capital Yeltsin says troops have invaded Chechenia 'to uphold constitution and protect civilians'

THOUSANDS of Russian troops in tanks and armoured vehicles invaded the breakaway republic of Chechenia yesterday as Moscow tried to use military might to reimpose authority over its most rebellious possession.

In a three-pronged dawn operation, armoured columns of Interior Ministry troops converged on the Chechen capital, Grozny, where the rebel government led by General Dzhokhar Dudayev was outnumbered but defiant.

The troops have been ordered to take control of oil refining facilities and oil pipelines running through the rebel region, Interfax news agency said, quoting an Interior Ministry source as saying that the troops had orders to "ensure the safety of industrial enterprises and other facilities around Grozny".

President Dudayev, a former Soviet Air Force general whose presidential palace was ringed by hundreds of heavily armed supporters, from elderly Chechens in traditional fur hats to young militiamen in combat fatigues, said: "We will defend ourselves."

Given the size of the force bearing down on Grozny, the city was remarkably relaxed last night and no blackout was imposed. The Chechen leader remained in his office meeting advisers, while his supporters gathered around bonfires in the street to keep warm.

Earlier, Chechenia vowed that Russian troops would leave in coffins. General Dudayev's chief aide, Movlen Salamo, said: "We may be conquered, but they will take away more coffins than there are Chechens."

President Yeltsin said in a message to the nation that he had ordered his troops into Chechenia to protect civilians uphold the constitution and help to find a "political solution". His assurances did little to ease concerns, however, that the country was being dragged into a new Afghanistan, with troops locked into a long war.

Hundreds of protesters and politicians gathered in central Moscow, demanding that Russia halt the invasion and calling for the President's removal. Sergei Yushenkov, a reformist member of the lower house of parliament, said impeachment was the only way. "I see no other way of stopping the President" he told the demonstrators. Parliament would seek his removal, he said: "They are setting up a commission to accuse the President of inflaming ethnic conflicts, provoking mass deaths of Russian citizens."

Mr Yeltsin's former chief reformer, Yegor Gaidar, said that any escalation could plunge the country into a bloody war and threaten democratic reform. Emile Paine, a member of the presidential council, said: "An army cannot win a victory over the population."

The statements by Mr Yushenkov and Mr Gaidar, leaders of Russia's Choice, caused Andrei Kozyrev, the Foreign Minister, to storm out of parliament's strongest liberal faction, saying his departure was "irreversible".

Witnesses on the Chechen borders said that the Russian invasion moved in simultaneously from Dagestan in the east, Ingushetia in the west and North Ossetia in the northwest. The column moving through Ingushetia encountered resistance and five Ingush citizens were killed and more than ten wounded, Boris Agapov, the Ingush Vice-President, said.

It is believed that the Russian show of force was calculated to give the Kremlin leverage when negotiations between Moscow and Grozny resume today.

Abubakarov Taimaz, the Chechen Economy Minister, said late last night that the Chechen authorities will hold talks despite the intervention, the largest Russian military operation since the invasion of Afghanistan in 1979. He said that he and eight others would meet a Russian delegation in North Ossetia. The talks would be on "halting bloodshed, disarming armed groups", and "normalising the situation in Chechenia".

Name: The Times Date: 12/12/94 Author: Phillip Webster, Political Editor
Portillo urges Major to be Euro-sceptical

MICHAEL Portillo yesterday laid down a challenge to the Cabinet pro-Europeans by calling on John Major to adopt a more Euro-sceptic agenda to end the "terrible rift" raging within the Conservative Party.

At the same time the Cabinet's leading rightwinger appeared to put himself forward as a peacemaker in the clash between Mr Major and the nine Conservative Euro rebels, even though Mr Major yesterday accused them of "self-indulgence" and issued a warning that unity could not be achieved by appeasement towards them. Mr Portillo called for "tolerance" and "a healing process" as the Prime Minister attempted to defuse the European timebomb by arguing that it was improbable if not impossible that monetary union could be achieved by the year 2000.

The Employment Secretary complicated the increasingly intense debate about a referendum on the future of the European Union, given added significance by the Prime Minister's signal at the European summit in Essen that he was prepared to consider the option, by suggesting that it was not his preferred way of healing Tory wounds on Europe.

Tory rightwingers will tonight give renewed momentum to the referendum campaign with a debate in the 92 Group, the largest backbench grouping, in which Kenneth Baker, the former Home Secretary, will be the main speaker. Yesterday Norman Lamont, the former Chancellor of the Exchequer demanded an early referendum pledge, saying: "There is a danger of being second in this race and appearing to be forced into it either by rebels or by the Labour Party." Mr Portillo said it was not his "first choice" but conceded that many in the Tory party saw it as a way of restoring unity. He made plain, however, that his answer was for the Government as a whole to become more Euro-sceptic.

He said in an interview on Breakfast with Frost on BBC1: "If the Conservative Party comes out with a very clear and very united policy on Europe, which I emphasise would be bound to be more Euro-sceptic than our opponents or more Euro-sceptic than in the rest of the Continent that would be a much firmer basis on which to go forward than saying we will leave this essential matter to a referendum." He said that people would probably vote in a referendum according to their opinion of the Government of the day, rather than on the issues at stake.

Mr Portillo's intervention on Europe, combined with his soothing call for tolerance towards the rebels, surprised senior Conservative MPs by its boldness. One of them said Portillo challenges Cabinet to turn Euro-sceptic

that Mr Portillo was again marking himself down as a future leadership contender. But his call for party unity chimed with others yesterday from the right. Sir George Gardiner, leader of the 92 group, said that all sides should make concessions "to restore our parliamentary majority and party unity." Mr Portillo said: "What we need to do now is to cool the thing down. We have to put our party back together."

The Essen summit provided much needed relief for Mr Major from his domestic troubles, with declarations on jobs, growth and competitiveness that could easily have been written in the Treasury, and agreement from Jacques Delors, the outgoing president of the European Commission, that enlargement of the EU would mean a fundamental rewriting of key planks such as the Common Agricultural Policy.

The Conservative right welcomed Mr Major's recognition that a referendum would be considered, and his warning to the federalist members of the EU that monetary union was becoming more and more unlikely as it grew larger and larger. In 10 years there could be 27 members of the EU. "Now plainly it is a fatuous proposition to assume that in any timescale like that you are going to have a single currency across 27." However, a different emphasis came Mr Kenneth Clarke, who attended the end-of-summit press conference with Mr Major. He disclosed that M Delors had presented papers to the summit that the only two countries who would be within the Maastricht single-currency criteria by 1996 were Germany and the United Kingdom. "In fact the United Kingdom rather more so than Germany because we are the strongest recovering economies in Europe. We are recovering at the moment rather better than the Germans." But he added: "Whatever the Maastricht timetable may say I don't believe a majority of the member states is likely to be able to get that timetable."

Douglas Hurd, the Foreign Secretary, called for a wider debate on closer ties with Europe away from: the "froth" of Westminster and for an "intelligent" debate about the single currency. The choice would not have to be made until 1999. "It gives us time to think it through."

A group of Euro-sceptic Tories returned from a meeting with 40 likeminded parliamentarians from the Continent with a draft manifesto designed to stop federalism in its tracks. The 11-point policy agenda of the European Research Group would hand back powers to national governments, scrap articles in treaties which provide for a single currency, and cut the EU budget.

Name: The Times Date: 12/12/94 Author: Charles Bremner in Paris
Delors steps back from presidency

JACQUES DELORS cast the French left into gloom last night by declaring that he would not run for the presidency despite a strong lead in opinion polls.

Ending weeks of indecision, the outgoing President of the European Commission said he had concluded that, if elected, he would be unable to form a government which would enable him to put his reformist ideas into action. "I would have the feeling that I had lied to the French," he said. "My decision is irrevocable. One cannot play with the nerves of the French people."

His calculation was based on the high chance that even if he called a new parliamentary election, the ruling centre and right-wing parties would win again. Under France's hybrid system, this would force another "cohabitation" between a Socialist president and Gaullist prime minister.

M Delors's decision removes virtually any chance of another Socialist succeeding President Mitterrand in May. The party has little public support, and no other leader of presidential calibre.

Jacques Chirac, the Gaullist leader, will now have the field clear to try to catch Edouard Balladur, the Prime Minister; he has been far behind M Balladur in opinion polls. Other candidates are expected to join the race, and the decision also means that the issue of Europe will probably not dominate the campaign.

Mr Delors's decision was welcomed privately last night by British ministers. The prospect of the Commission President succeeding M Mitterrand had worried Tory Euro-sceptics with the prospect of an enthusiastically pro-federalist alliance between M Delors and Helmut Kohl, the German Chancellor.

Name: The Times Date: 12/12/94 Author: Alexandra Frean, Media Correspondent
£17.8m lottery prize goes to sole winner

THE winning National Lottery ticket for Saturday's £17.8 million jackpot is held by a single individual, according to Camelot, the game's operator.

This week's winning numbers were 26, 35, 38, 43, 47 and 49. The bonus number was 28.

A spokeswoman for Camelot said that although the only person to make a selection of all six winning numbers had come forward to claim the jackpot prize yesterday afternoon, it was still not clear whether the winner would agree to allow publicity.

The ten winners of this week's £338,000 "runner up" lottery prizes, who chose five correct numbers, plus the bonus ball, also claimed their winnings yesterday.

David Rigg, communications director of Camelot, said the fact that there was only one winner could be explained by the unusual range of high numbers. "These are typically less popular with players, who are inclined to use birth dates," he said.

Saturday's jackpot, swollen by the roll-over from the previous week's unclaimed £6.9 million top prize, boosted ticket sales last week. Total takings were £61.5 million, 27 per cent higher than the week before.

About £25 million in tickets were sold on Saturday, with sales running at at a rate of more than £50,000 a minute during a two-hour period in the afternoon. The total prize pool is worth about £34.5 million. A further £15 million will go to good causes.

Camelot said that 473 people won £4,461 by matching five correct numbers, 28,244 won £164 by selecting four numbers and 657,025 won £10 by choosing three winning numbers.

Name: The Guardian Date: 29 Apr 96 Author: Christopher Zinn & Vivek Chaudhary
Slaughter in the sun Lone Australian gunman seized after killing spree claims 32 lives

A LONE gunman who methodically shot and killed 32 people including children and a baby in the Australian tourist resort of Port Arthur was arrested early today after a 16-hour siege came to a dramatic end.

The 29-year-old Tasmanian, said by police to be a diagnosed schizophrenic with a history of mood swings, set fire to the Seascape guest house where he had been holding three people hostage.

There was no immediate news early today of the fate of the hostages.

Two of those being held by the gunmen were believed to be David and Sally Martin, the elderly owners of the Seascape guest house, and the third hostage was thought to be a guest who was staying there.

Police moved in by helicopter after fire engulfed the upper floors of the guest house. The gunman was being treated on the site for burns.

Negotiations with the gunman broke down overnight after batteries in a mobile telephone at the besieged guesthouse failed.

Random volleys of shots were heard throughout the cold night as more than 200 Tasmanian police, with special operations reinforcements from other states, sealed off the area.

Authorities initially put the death toll at 33 but later reduced it by one, citing confusion in the aftermath of the shootings. But they said the toll could still rise.

Another 18 people are being treated in a Hobart hospital for gunshot wounds.

A baby, several children, two Canadian tourists and a number of Asians were among the dead. Two of those killed were Malaysian, one was Indian, with the origins of four others unknown. Police said they had been flooded with calls from around the world from anxious relatives.

Another two Canadians and an American were among the injured. No names had been released by last night.

According to witnesses, the gunman, described as having blond hair and looking like a "surfie", or surfer, drove into the tourist site in a Volkswagen with a surf board strapped to its roof.

He wandered up to the Broadarrow cafeteria in Port Arthur village, chatted with tourists and commented: "There's a lot of Wasps [White Anglo-Saxon Protestants] around today, there's not many Japs here are there?''

Witnesses say that the man then entered the cafeteria, produced a gun and began firing.

He tried setting fire to the building and then wandered about the historic site firing.

He shot a woman and her daughters aged six and three before commandeering a car and killing its four occupants. The gunman then drove around shooting at cars and coaches carrying tourists, and at a nearby general store.

Minutes later, he abandoned his vehicle and entered the Fox and Hounds hotel, which was crowded at the time.

After shooting he took some hostages and ordered them into the nearby Seascape guest house. The entire shooting spree is thought to have lasted about an hour.

According to some reports, the gunman also fired at rescue helicopters taking the injured to hospital.

One woman in the cafeteria at the time of the shooting said she hid under a table when the man opened fire.

She said: "I just lay there and all l could hear was the gun and screaming. The only thing that went through my head was, the next one's for me.''

She said that after the shooting had ended "there were people just sitting there in their chairs where they'd been eating - dead. There was a weird sort of calm, as if no one could believe what they were seeing."

Sydney tourist Rob Atkins said he initially mistook the gunfire for musket shots which could have been part of an historic pageant.

"It was really weird because some people were running up the hill hysterical, other people were just dawdling around looking at the ruins and others were laughing about it as if it was some kind of joke - as an historic site it was quite feasible this was part of the show," Mr Atkins said.

Luppo Prinz, Tasmania's assistant police commissioner, said that the gunman comes from Hobart and that members of his family were helping officers with the negotiations.

There were reports that the man's father had committed suicide, but his mother was still alive. Mr Prinz said it was possible a personal dispute had sparked off the shooting spree, and that the limited comments the gunman has so far made to police have made little sense.

He said the gunman has not even spoken about the shootings so far: "He's not saying he did anything."

More than 200 police from the small island state surrounded the area where the killings took place, and shots were reported from inside the house.

The injured were being treated in the Royal Hobart Hospital, which was on full disaster alert, and almost half were described as being in a critical or serious condition.

Witnesses said that at first they thought the gunfire was part of the lunchtime show at the former penal colony, which was built 50 miles south-west of Hobart in 1830.

But when the first volley of shots were fired indiscriminately into the crowded streets, hundreds of visitors ran for their lives.

Amateur video recordings showed tourists shaking in shock as they hid from the gunman as he began his Lone Australian gunman seized after killing spree claims 32 lives rampage with a high-powered rifle.

A local tour operator, Les Gore, said: "Two car loads of people came in - two were shot in the head, one through the shoulder and one through the arm."

The gunman shot up several packed tourist coaches, and killed at least one driver.

A witness, Phillip Milburn, told reporters; "He wasn't going bang, bang, bang, bang - it was bang, and then he'd pick someone else out and line them up and shoot them."

Police told the Reuter news agency the mock-Tudor Fox and Hounds Hotel was crowded with tourists when the gunman entered and began shooting wildly.

"That's where most of the people were killed," a spokesman said.

"He just shot everyone who was coming in," said a visitor, Karen Jones. "A mother was saying 'you have to get my baby to hospital quick, quick' - but it was already dead."

The armed man then took refuge in the Seascape guest house with the hostages. He continued to shoot at police and rescue helicopters.

Tasmania's police commissioner, John Johnson, made a personal plea for the man to surrender. "Why he has done this no one knows. But if he's done it to make some point in life, he's made that point, now's the time to come out and avoid any more bloodshed."

Mr Johnson added: "Various massacres would pale into insignificance when you look at what has happened in Tasmania."

The Australian prime minister, John Howard, said he was horrified to hear of the shocking and senseless act, and extended the government's sympathy to the bereaved.

The Anglican Bishop of Tasmania, the Rt Rev Phillip Newall, said: "This must be the darkest day of tragedy in the history of this state. We all remember what the massacre at Dunblane did to us. I thought that just couldn't happen here.''

The Queen sent a message of sympathy to Tasmania saying that she was deeply shocked by the tragedy.

The Prime Minister, John Major, said in a message to Mr Howard: "With the dreadful events at the school in Dunblane still fresh in our minds here, I know only too well the horror people in Australia must be feeling. Words are not adequate to cope with the emotions such senseless killings arouse."

A spokesman for Stirling council said that the people of Dunblane will also be sending a message of sympathy.

He said: s=0.94 w=31 "They will also be expressing the hope that people will rally round, as they did in Dunblane, and that they receive as much help and support as they did in Dunblane."

The killings sent shock waves throughout Australia with questions being raised over the country's gun laws.

The Coalition on Gun Control said the federal government must move quickly to establish national gun registration laws and ban the private ownership of semiautomatic weapons.

Federal and state police ministers tried to draft such legislation late last year but could not agree on the details.

Australia's federal attorney general, Darryl Williams, said it was time for the states - who have the constitutional responsibilities for gun control - to put aside their differences.

State guns laws vary in Australia, but it is fairly relatively easy for a person without a criminal record to buy a rifle or shotgun. Pistols are less commonly owned.

In Sydney, Simon Chapman of the Coalition on Gun Control, said: s=0.45 w=22 "Tasmania has the weakest gun laws in the country. It is a state with absolutely no restriction on semiautomatic weapons at all."

Name: The Guardian Date: 29 Apr 96 Author: Gerald Bourke
Bus bomb in Punjab kills 40

AT LEAST 40 people died and 26 were injured in Pakistan yesterday when a bomb exploded on a bus packed with Muslims travelling home to celebrate Islam's holiest holiday.

The blast, in the eastern province of Punjab, occurred as the bus was pulling away from a marketplace in Bhai Pheru, 50 miles southwest of the provincial capital Lahore. Witnesses said it ignited the fuel tank, transforming the vehicle into an inferno that trapped screaming passengers inside.

Onlookers watched helplessly as the bus was consumed by flames. They said most of its doors and windows were closed and there were no fire extinguishers.

The blaze spread so fast that two children sitting on the dashboard by an open window died. The driver escaped through the window, but was badly burned.

Most of the dead were charred beyond recognition. Their ashes were collected and placed in a single coffin which was buried at Bhai Pheru's cemetery after a mass funeral.

Police said the death toll could rise to 60, as many of the injured suffered severe burns.

A second explosive device was found shortly afterwards in the same marketplace, which was crowded with shoppers before Eid al-Adha, today's Muslim festival marking the end of the Hajj pilgrimage. It was defused by bomb disposal experts.

No one claimed responsibility for the bombing, the latest - and worst - of dozens of atrocities in the last few months in Punjab, the country's most populous and politically important province.

On Friday, a blast at a cinema in the central city of Sargodha injured 12 people. Last week the United States consulate in Lahore was damaged in a grenade attack. A fortnight ago a bomb explosion killed six at a cancer hospital in Lahore built by the Pakistani cricketer-turned-politician Imran Khan.

The prime minister, Benazir Bhutto, said afterwards that her government had received intelligence reports warning of further explosions in Punjab.

Arif Nakai, Punjab's chief minister, blamed yesterday's bombing on "terrorists" and said those responsible would be brought to justice: "The government will not be cowed down by such dastardly acts."

Name: The Guardian Date: 29 Apr 96
Father saves baby's life

Name: The Guardian Date: 29 Apr 96 Author: Gary Younge
Chute drops off Boeing 747

AN INFLATABLE emergency escape chute fell off a Virgin Atlantic jumbo jet on its way to New York yesterday. The 35ft chute, which was rolled up, landed in a tree in Slough, Berkshire, narrowly missing a lorry driver.

The Boeing 747, with 326 people on board, returned to Heathrow 31/2hours into the flight after being alerted by the airport that something had been seen dropping off the plane. Passengers are being assigned to other flights leaving this morning. An investigation is being held.

Name: The Independent Date: 29 Apr 96 Author: Robert Milliken
Lone gunman slaughters 32 Killer captured after rampage in Australian tourist town

Police today captured the gunman who killed at least 32 people in a rampage of indiscriminate slaughter in Tasmania. The 29-year-old man was seized after he held three hostages in a cottage overnight and then set the building alight.

Armed police had surrounded the guest house where he had taken refuge after his killing spree at the small tourist town of Port Arthur. At least 19 people were injured, some seriously. A police spokesman said they captured the man, who had suffered burns, outside the cottage. They were proceeding to search the building to learn what happened to the hostages.

The gunman, who has a history of mental problems, had been firing on police with heavy-calibre military-type rifles, one of them an AR-15 and the other an SKS assault rifle, Deputy Police Commissioner Richard McCreadie said.

Earlier yesterday, the man had driven into town in a Volkswagen with a surfboard on the roof, and chatted idly with tourists at the site of the historic penal colony around which the town is built. Then he pulled out a rifle, which was concealed in a tennis-racket cover, entered the Broad Arrow Café, and began firing, chasing the tourists as they ran screaming into the street.

He moved on to the car park, where he turned on two coaches, killing several tourists in each one, and fired on cars which were approaching the gates to the site. "He left the site shooting as he went, shooting everybody he could see," said Wendy Scurr, who was working at the front desk.

The gunman then drove to the nearby Fox and Hounds Hotel, crowded with tourists, where he continued shooting. "That's where most of the people were killed," a police spokesman said. Thirty Australians and two Canadian tourists died, including several children and a baby.

"He wasn't going bang, bang, bang - it was bang and then he'd pick someone else out and line them up and shoot them," said a witness, Phillip Milburn.

Police were releasing little information about the man, from Hobart. "He has been undertaking medical treatment for some problems that he has had," said Luppo Prinz, Tasmania's Assistant Police Commissioner. Members of his family helped police with their negotiations during the siege. It was possible a personal dispute sparked off the shooting spree.

Police, still searching around the ruins of the old penal convict settlement for more bodies, said the death-toll could be higher. Television reports said the gunman also shot at helicopters ferrying the wounded to hospital in Hobart, and there were reports that a parked car with people in it was set alight.

It is only a month since 16 children and their teacher were shot in Dunblane; nine years before, Michael Ryan killed 16 people in Hungerford. But the toll in Port Arthur seems likely to be the highest yet in such an incident.

The assault left Australia stunned. "I was shocked and appalled at the senseless murder of innocent people, and offer the government's sympathies to the families and friends of those who have died and been injured," the Prime Minister John Howard, said.

State laws vary in Australia, but it is fairly easy for a person without a criminal record to buy a rifle or shotgun. Previous incidents have made gun control a controversial issue, but this massacre seems certain to lead to calls for tougher restrictions.

Name: The Independent Date: 29 Apr 96
Jet in safety alert as it drops chute

An inquiry was launched last night after a safety chute fell off a Virgin Atlantic Jumbo jet and landed in a car park.

The Boeing 747 had just completed a maintenance check conducted by British Airways engineers and was on its way to Kennedy Airport, New York from Heathrow. A few minutes after take-off, the chute broke free of its housing on the wing and fell into the park at Foyle in Slough, Berkshire.

It was only after a lorry driver who had been in the car park reported the incident that the aircrew were alerted and the captain decided to return to London for safety checks.

A Virgin spokeswoman said: "There was no question of danger to passengers or crew and losing the chute did not affect the integrity of the aircraft."

A full inquiry has been launched into the incident, she added.

The chute is deployed in the event of an emergency landing when it would inflate like a giant slide to help passengers make a quick exit from the jet. The giant yellow chute extends to 30ft and is 6ft wide but was still wrapped when it fell into the lorry park.

Name: The Independent Date: 29 Apr 96 Author: Robert Milliken
Slaughter in 'valley of the deepest shadow' Lone killer's carnage in quiet tourist town stuns whole nation

The most violent day in Tasmania's history since colonial times began without warning just after 1.30pm yesterday. Like most Sundays, it was the busiest day of the week at Port Arthur, which was once a penal settlement and is now the island's leading tourist attraction.

There was nothing immediately remarkable about the young man who arrived in a Volkswagen with a surf board tied to the roof. Witnesses said he had blond hair and a "surfy appearance". But the tennis-racket case he was carrying concealed a rifle and soon the area was to become a slaughterhouse as he turned the gun on all those around him.

The bloodshed began when he walked into a restaurant near the ruins of the 19th-century prison and started firing at local people working there. Then he walked to the car park and its toll gates, firing at tourists arriving in buses and cars. From there he went to the nearby Fox and Hounds Hotel, where he shot more people.

He then took three people hostage and fled to a tourist lodge three miles away. After a 16-hour siege, he was arrested. The fate of the hostages was not known last night. The number of people shot dead was initially put at 32, but it is thought the final toll could be higher.

A witness who saw the start of the massacre said: "He said 'There are a lot of WASPs (White Anglo-Saxon Protestants) around today. There aren't many Japs, are there?' Then he started muttering to himself, walked inside and started firing."

Karen Jones, a visitor from Hobart, the Tasmanian capital, said: "He went to the toll gates and shot at everyone who was coming in." Phillip Millburn, from Hobart, said: "He would line people up before shooting them. It was something smaller than a .303 rifle, and it was meant to kill.'' Sue Hobbs, an employee at the Port Arthur Tourist Centre, said: "It's shocked us. Many of the 100 people employed here have come in to help even if they were rostered off. It's a quiet community. You can imagine how this has rocked everyone. Our staff are remaining very calm. It's unbelievable to see how people have put their own fears and concerns aside to help the general public."

The Right Reverend Phillip Newell, the Anglican Bishop of Tasmania, said: "The police, the chaplains, the doctors and nurses have given a tremendous amount. The rest of the community is expressing its grief and love. They're passing through the valley of the deepest shadow."

John Johnson, Tasmania's Police Commissioner, said: "I don't know why he's done this."

More than 200 police converged on Port Arthur and set up roadblocks around the town and the Seascape Guest House, where the gunman went to ground with his hostages.

Emergency services were stretched to the limit as every available helicopter flew in to shuttle the injured to hospital in Hobart, where beds were vacated for all but critical cases.

John Howard, the Australian Prime Minister, said he was "shocked and appalled" at the murder of innocent people.

Kim Beazley, Leader of the Opposition, said: "This is a terrible tragedy, a shocking waste."

The Queen, who was kept in touch with events by the Tasmanian authorities, sent a message of sympathy. "I was deeply shocked to learn of the devastating tragedy at Port Arthur," she said. "Our thoughts and prayers are with you all," the message concluded. John Major also joined the condolences in a message to Mr Howard.

Tony Rundle, the Premier of Tasmania, said: "All Tasmanians and all Australians will be sick at heart at this dreadful massacre. We express sympathy to the bereaved and pray for those in hospital fighting to survive. This is something beyond the comprehension of Tasmanians."

Tasmania is normally one of Australia's most peaceful places, where people flock to escape the stresses of city life in mainland Australia and to find solace in the wilderness.

Its colonial history, however, was far from peaceful. Port Arthur, on the southern end of the Tasman Peninsula, is the site of one of Britain's most infamous penal institutions, which operated from 1830 to 1877. The township was the centre of a vast penal network. More than 12,500 convicts passed through its gates. Just offshore is the Isle of the Dead, named for many of those who died in chains.

The tourists caught in yesterday's massacre were among thousands each year who visit the Port Arthur ruins, considered the most graphic surviving monument of Australia's convict era.

Last night, in the wake of the killings, there were more calls for tighter nationwide gun laws. Other than the island's 19th-century colonial massacres of Aborigines yesterday's tragedy was easily Australia's worst mass killing of recent times.

In August 1987 a 19-year-old former army cadet shot seven people dead and injured 19 while firing at motorists in Hoddle Street, Melbourne. Four months later, a 22-year-old law student shot eight workers dead in a Melbourne office building, then jumped to his death.

In August 1991, a 33-year-old taxi-driver armed with an assault rifle killed seven shoppers in a Sydney shopping mall then shot himself dead.

Australians were horrified by yesterday's massacre and its scale. Many had been lulled into a belief that such a massacre could not happen again after demands for tighter gun laws in the wake of the three earlier incidents. But, apart from small changes, the federal and state governments have spent much of the time since then wrangling over details. The most recent talks between federal and state ministers ended inconclusively last November.

Simon Chapman, of the Australian Coalition for Gun Control, said the laws should ban private ownership of semi-automatic rifles and impose tougher guidelines on who could own firearms.

He said state governments in Tasmania, New South Wales and Queensland were cowering in political fear of the gun lobby "while the whole community waits anxiously for inevitable incidents like this".

Name: The Independent Date: 29 Apr 96
Baby saved from death in a ditch

A tearful father yesterday told how he pulled his 10-month-old son from a water-filled ditch and helped bring him back to life after an accident.

Sean McNulty, 31, from Silsden, West Yorkshire, said he thought his youngest son Joshua, was dead after a crash near Great Yarmouth, Norfolk, early on Saturday. He wept as he described how the youngster spluttered back to life following mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and heart massage on the roadside for "what seemed like hours".

Mr McNulty and his family were travelling home when their car left the road and plunged into a ditch. He said he could see that his wife, and two other sons, Daniel, seven, and Andrew, five, had scrambled to safely. But he was unable to find Joshua, who had been sitting in a child seat in the back.

In desperation, he waded in the ditch, calling his son's name. He then heard a passing motorist Samantha Lee, 25, from Lakenham Norwich yell that the child was face down in the water behind him.

"I could just see his cardigan and I pulled at it and there he was and I lifted him onto the side," Mr McNulty explained. "I don't know what death looks like but he looked like he had gone. He looked like my Grandma when she died - all pale and blue."

Mr McNulty, a trained first-aider, gave the child heart massage while another passing motorist, Alex Hardy, 31, gave mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. Eventually the child coughed and cried out. "He coughed and all this stuff came out of his mouth and he started crying and I knew then that he was all right and then I just fainted," said Mr McNulty.

He was overcome when asked Mr McNulty simply turned to look at his son and said: "How would anyone feel?" Mrs McNulty said her husband was a hero. "He was just amazing. He saved Joshua's life."

Name: The Observer Date: 28 Apr 96 Author: Alan Watkins & Ron McKay
Doctors raise doubt on 'CJD' girl

SCIENTISTS at the unit monitoring the newly discovered strain of Creutzfeldt-Jakob disease believe three more people may have fallen victim, although doctors yesterday began to cast doubt over the case of a 15-year-old girl said to be suffering from the illness.

The CJD surveillance unit at Edinburgh has privately indicated that the three cases - all women aged between 20 and 30 - have been discovered since January.

They fear the new strain of CJD, which appears to be linked to BSE found in cattle, may have claimed up to nine victims, including the girl and the three women, whom they refused to identify, in the past few weeks.

The others comprise Graham Brown, 36, and Barry Baker, 29, both from the Ashford area in Kent, whose illnesses were announced last Thursday; two women, aged between 41 and 50, whose symptoms developed last January and February; and a man aged 28 from Scotland, who was diagnosed a fortnight ago.

According to sources, one of the alarming aspects is that at least two of the nine began with the new type of CJD symptoms: memory loss, hallucinations and psychiatric disturbance. These characterised some of the 10 earlier well-documented cases that brought about the collapse of the beef industry when details of a possible link between BSE and CJD were announced to Parliament last month.

Details of the new cases emerged as senior medical staff at Glasgow's Southern General Hospital, where the unnamed 15-year-old girl is being treated, raised doubts about the accuracy of the American-developed test used in her diagnosis.

Colleagues of her consultant, Professor Peter Behan, believe a definite diagnosis can only be made through a post-mortem examination. A hospital spokesman confirmed that the CJD diagnosis was not the judgment of senior clinicians until it could be confirmed by subsequent tests.

* A quarter of junior doctors have given up eating British beef because of concern about a link between BSE and the new strain of CJD, according to a survey in Doctors' Post .

Name: The Observer Date: 28 Apr 96 Author: Natasha Narayan
Free, but the nightmare won't go 'I went for a walk and a haircut. After 18 months in prison it was terrifying. I was even frightened by the traffic'

THEY checked into a discreet hotel under the names of Mr and Mrs Francis. For Cheryl Tooze and boyfriend Jonathan Jones - who was cleared by the Court of Appeal last week of the murder of her parents - the aliases were part of an attempt to take refuge from the prying cameras and waving chequebooks his release has attracted.

'It has been a circus. I have found it absolutely bewildering,' said Jonathan as he relaxed with Cheryl in their hotel bedroom. The couple have turned down lucrative offers from the tabloids but were happy to speak to journalists Cheryl has come to know.

Since Jonathan's conviction, each has been through their own kind of hell. Cheryl has changed from a shy, unworldly woman to a determined campaigner. She has lost a stone, developed an ulcer and her nerves are held together by anti-depressants.

Jonathan, 37, has lost several stone. Pale and bowed, he seems almost to have sleepwalked through the past few days.

'Yesterday I went for a walk in the West End and got a haircut. After 18 months in prison it was terrifying. l was even frightened by the noise of the traffic,' he said.

There is no way that Jonathan and Cheryl, 36, can yet put the events that occurred on the 23 July 1993 at the small farmhouse in Llanharry, Mid Glamorgan, behind them. Conversation inevitably comes back to it, it fills their dreams and their waking hours. Cheryl's father Harry Tooze, 64, a retired fruit farmer and his wife Megan, 67, were killed by a 12-bore shotgun which blasted off the backs of their heads. The attack had the hallmarks of a professional execution.

From the start, Jonathan and Cheryl - who was dissuaded by South Wales Police from offering a £25,000 reward for information - co-operated fully with the authorities. They now feel that they were naive, that Jonathan was 'targeted' as the killer very early on. When police called at their Kent flat to arrest Jonathan on 7 December 1993, neither Cheryl nor Jonathan could believe it.

'I was incredibly naive, I had this faith in the fairness of the police. I thought it was all a mistake,' Jonathan recalled. 'The terrible thing is that he was so innocent,' said Cheryl.

The couple's friends find it hard to understand why Jonathan was singled out by police. The son of a surveyor, he worked in market research and had no history of trouble with the law. He is gentle and thoughtful, given to almost academic reflectiveness.

Even now, after a period in jail he was particularly unequipped to deal with - 'the clang of cell doors, the smell of urine, the fights and violence' - Jonathan is measured when he speaks of the judicial process. 'It has become received wisdom that 70 per cent of murders are committed by relatives and that 80 per cent are committed by male relatives under the age of 30,' he said.

'That was the reason the police concentrated on me: I was simply the nearest male relative. I can understand the police had a duty to investigate me, but it was absolutely wrong that the police seemed to concentrate on me to the exclusion of all other suspects.'

Defence solicitors Layla Attfield and Stuart Hutton - who donated their services free for much of the case, so convinced were they of Jonathan's innocence - recently found that South Wales police had continued to investigate him after his conviction.

The one piece of forensic evidence linking Jonathan with the murder - the smudged top of his thumbprint on the saucer of the 'best' tea set Harry and Megan Tooze produced for the visitor who presumably killed them - was only discovered five months after the murder.

Police left Jonathan alone in the room containing the cup and saucer for 45 minutes after he drove to Wales, on Cheryl's urging, on the night of the murder to find out what had happened. There was not a drop of blood on his clothes, whereas the killer might have been expected to be spattered with blood.

But there was plenty of evidence that in the months before the murder Harry Tooze was scared of something. His wife told Cheryl he was sleeping with a loaded Luger under his bed.

'I have lost all my illusions about the judicial system. If it were not for my parent's support and Cheryl's support and the support of an exceptional team of solicitors I would still be in Gartree prison,' Jonathan said. 'I would like to do what I can to stop someone else being convicted like I was on the basis of gossip and suspicion.'

Jonathan says he will only feel truly vindicated when the killer is caught. But South Wales police have no plans to reopen the inquiry.

'One wonders what the South Wales police have got to hide,' says Jonathan. 'What is another police officer going to make of the evidence?'

Cheryl added: 'The fact they are not going to reopen the investigation is an insult to my parents' memory. I am never going to get it out of my mind. Jon standing handcuffed in the dock was like somone sticking a knife in me. I had to cope. When you're hit and hit and hit and you take so many knocks you build a barrier around yourself'

As yet the couple have no plans for the future - they don't even know where they are going to live or how they are going to survive.

Perhaps, says Cheryl, they will write a book. They obsessively retell the case, with all the legal minutiae at their fingertips.

They have not ruled out going back to South Wales, even though many people there, including Cheryl's estranged aunts and uncles, regard them with suspicion. 'I know the whole campaign against us is not important but it bugs me. I want to get on with living our lives and stop the whispering,' said Cheryl.

Jonathan shrugs: 'If anybody has anything to say I want them to say it to my face.'

The fact that they are 'different' - Jonathan speaks with a clipped English accent and they have been together 15 years but never married - helped to fuel the atmosphere of suspicion.

Jonathan's mother, Pauline, said: 'I want them to get married. But they're of a different generation - that sort of thing has never been important to them.'

Cheryl is an emotional woman. During the appeal her fears was rarely far from the surface. She sat gripping the edge of the bench as Jonathan's father, Graham, who has aged painfully through the past year, sat with his hand on her arm. But Jonathan says her greatest quality is her strength. 'Whatever happens I will never, ever give up,' Cheryl said during the appeal.

Jonathan has his emotions more under control. Except for the first bleak days after his imprisonment when he considered suicide as a way of freeing his girlfriend, he has adopted a forensic approach, pulling the strands of the trial apart.

In prison Jonathan did make friends, but he had to cultivate a wariness that was quite new to him. The publicity the case attracted made him a target for 'false confessions' - on five occasions inmates claimed that he had confessed that he was guilty. His solicitors had to move him to his own cell to protect him from fellow prisoners who would hope to gain favour by this tactic.

Now the couple are having to relearn each other's characters. 'Jonathan has told me loads of things about prison,' said Cheryl. 'He has been learning how I've changed. 'Cheryl has been bossing me something rotten,' Jonathan grumbles. 'Both of us are anxious to get on with our lives but our lives have become so bound up with the case I don't think we're quite sure how to go on.'

Although there is no sign that they plan to conform to South Wales morality by getting married, Cheryl says that for the first time she has begun to think of a family: 'I want children. Having lost my own parents so horribly has made me think very much of the importance of bringing my own children into the world.'

Name: The Observer Date: 28 Apr 96 Author: Christopher Reed & Robin McKie
Boots suppressed its own survey on cheaper drugs

BOOTS, one of Britain's most trusted companies, commissioned research - and then suppressed it after the results showed that its most lucrative drug could be replaced by products three times as cheap and just as effective. The episode, revealed this weekend, has reinforced fears that corporate sponsorship compromises medical research when it threatens profits.

Boots commissioned the study when rival companies claimed their cheaper products worked as well as Synthroid - the drug of choice for American doctors treating hypothyroidism and taken by about eight million people every day. The use of cheaper options could wipe $356 million (£242m) a year off US health-care costs.

Boots paid $250,000 for the survey by the University of California at San Francisco. When Boots threatened legal action to enforce its contractual right to prevent publication, the university refused to indemnify Dr Betty Dong and her team, fearing 'significant damages'.

Three months after the article had been pulled from the prestigious Journal of the American Medical Association, Synthroid passed to the German chemical giant BASF when it bought the Boots drug division for $1.4 billion. The existence of the research was disclosed to BASF.

Hypothyroidism is a metabolic disorder with symptoms of lethargy, stiffness and low tolerance of cold. Synthroid, a thyroid hormone, is unpatented but protected by the 'bio-equivalence barrier'. An absence of benchmark data - clinical trials were waived for Synthroid when it was introuced in 1958 - means that, without new research, no other drug could be proved to work in exactly the same way.

Dr Dong, 47, a clinical pharmacist, had her finding - that Synthroid and three other drugs acted in the same way - accepted for publication by the journal after peer-group review. The article had reached page-proof stage, for inclusion in the issue of 25 January 1995, when Boots threatened to enforce its contractual right to withdraw the piece.

Carter Eckert, who commissioned the research when she was a Boots executive, said: 'I did what I had to do. I stopped a flawed study that would have put millions of patients at risk.'

But Leslie Bennet, chairman of the university's bio-pharmaceutical sciences department, said flatly: 'The Boots people did everything they could to make sure this study didn't get published because it was detrimental to their company.'

The Wall Street Journal reported last week that Boots 'aggressively strove to discredit' the research and hired a team of private investigators to help it do so.

The suppression of the research is an example of a growing trend that is difficult to prove but which worries academics and scientists.

Richard Smith, editor of the British Medical Journal, said: 'Some companies take the view that they own scientific data because it was produced by a study they funded.

'It is difficult to know how widespread the problem is, but it can have a serious biasing effect on the scientific literature. It is worrying.'

The only comforting note was struck, ironically, by Dr Andrew Herxheimer, a clinical pharmacologist, who has studied drug companies' support of clinical research. 'This problem has always been with us,' he said. 'It cannot get any worse. So in that sense, things can only get better.'

Dr Dong suffered the final indignity last summer of seeing a 16-page critique of her findings published in the American Journal of Therapeutics. One of its editors is Dr Gilbert Mayor, Boots's medical services director, who led the campaign to discredit the research and raised 136 technical objections to it. The journal said her study was too flawed to prove bio-equivalence. The lead reviewer? Dr Mayor.

Name: The Daily Telegraph Date: 29 Apr 96 Author: Geoffrey Lee Martin
Police seize massacre gunman Mad killer sets besieged guest house on fire after 32 die in Tasmania

A GUNMAN who massacred 32 people at a Tasmanian tourist centre yesterday was captured by police early today after he set fire to a seaside guesthouse where he had held three hostages for 16 hours. There was no immediate word on the fate of the hostages.

Witnesses said a helicopter had landed near the Seascape guesthouse and an ambulance was heading towards it.

The hostages were thought to be the guesthouse owners, David and Sally Martin, both in their 60s, and a male driver seized earlier.

One officer at the scene, Supt Bob Fielding, said that the gunman was suffering from burns. He had been shooting at a cordon of 200 police with heavy calibre military-type rifles, one of them an AR-15 and the other an SKS assault rifle.

At one point during negotiations, in which his parents helped police, he demanded a helicopter to make his escape.

The 29-year-old gunman, who has a history of mental illness, had earlier gone on a murderous walkabout with a high-powered rifle at the packed tourist centre - a former penal settlement - at Port Arthur, about 30 miles from the island capital, Hobart.

His victims included a baby and several other children. At least 18 other people were wounded, four of them critically.

The man, described by witnesses as a 5ft 2in "blond, surfie type" with a beard, then hijacked a car and carried on killing about two miles down the road.

Two of the victims were Canadian, two Tasmanian and 28 came from mainland Australia, police said. As dawn broke, a search resumed for other people who might have been killed or wounded.

The gunman comes from the Newport area of Hobart. Police would not immediately name him.

The killings were connected with a "domestic situation", they said. The man had planned the murders and probably knew one or two of the victims.

But one witness said that as the gunman walked past he was muttering to himself: "There's a lot of wasps around today; not many Japs here, are there?'' By "wasps" he is assumed to have been using the acronym for White Anglo-Saxon Protestants.

About 500 tourists were in the settlement - the busiest day of the week - when the killer drove up at about 1.30pm in a stolen yellow Volkswagen with a surfboard on top.

People saw him take a tennis bag from the car and pull out a high-powered rifle.

The carnage began at about 2.15pm when he walked into the Broad Arrow cafe and took aim at people sitting at tables or standing at the counter. He continued his massacre outside.

Phillip Kelly, the cafe owner, said: "There were people lying dead or dying all over the cafeteria floor and in the grounds."

Karen Jones, of Hobart, said: "He wasn't shooting indiscriminately - he was taking aim.

"He had a big rifle with great big bullets, really big bullets. It was a gun meant to kill people."

The man shot at several buses in the car park of the site. Then he encountered a woman and three children in their car near the toll gates.

"She pleaded with him but he shot the lady and the children and went on to the tollgates, where he shot all the staff,'' said Hayden Crawford, a chef at the Port Arthur Motor Inn, which was used as a makeshift crisis centre for shocked tourists.

He added that two of those killed at the cafe were staff, including a 17-year-old girl.

Another witness, Rob Atkins, who captured some of the horrifying scenes on his video camera, said that people were running hysterically from the shooting.

In a surreal touch, other people were "laughing about it as if it was some sort of joke", thinking that it was part of the tourist show.

As the killer continued on his rampage he shot and killed the driver of a bus and three tourists on board.

He then walked 100 yards to a general store, shooting dead a woman in her car outside. He took her husband hostage and forced him to drive along the Arthur highway, past the Fox and Hounds hotel.

About 200 yards past the hotel he started firing at passing cars, hitting several.

He then went to the small pink weatherboard Seascape hotel, where he fired at guests and took the three hostages.

Supt Barry Bennett , said when the siege began: "He is in a very good position to defend himself, with the harbour on one side and fields and bush behind."

After the massacre injured victims were ferried by helicopter across Storm Bay to the Hobart cenotaph on a headland overlooking the city, where a fleet of ambulances waited to take them to hospital.

The Tasmanian state premier, Tony Rundle, said: "We are sick at heart at this dreadful massacre. All our medical and police resources have been thrown in to assist.

"On behalf of the government and all Tasmanians I want to express our sympathy to the bereaved families and of course for those who are in hospital fighting for their lives."

Previous mass shootings in Australia include Melbourne's Ruddle Street massacre in 1987, when a 19-year-old former army cadet sprayed gunfire indiscriminately at motorists killing four men and three women and injuring 19.

Four months later in Melbourne a 23-year-old law student killed five women and three men working in a city building. He then killed himself by jumping out of an 11th storey window.

Australia's last mass murder occurred in Until yesterday Tasmania's worst mass shooting was in 1989 when a 15-year old youth shot and killed his parents and younger brother.

The Queen sent a message to Tasmania, saying: Prince Philip joins me in sending our heartfelt sympathy to the bereaved famlhes and our best wishes for a speedy recovery to all those who have been injured.

"Our thoughts and prayers are with you all."

John Major said in a message to his Australian counterpart, John Howard: "I was shocked and appalled.

"With the dreadful events at the school in Dunblane still fresh in our minds here, I know only too well the horror people in Australia must be feeling."

Name: The Daily Telegraph Date: 29 Apr 96 Author: Geoffrey Lee Martin
Victims 'chosen with care'

"HE wasn't going bang-bang-bang-bang. It was 'bang', and then he'd pick someone else out and line them up and shoot them."

This was how one witness, Phillip Milburn, described on ABC radio the Tasmanian killer's cold-blooded method.

Wendy Scurr, who was working at the Port Arthur historic site, said the gunman had been chatting to people "quite lucidly" when he went into the cafe then pulled out the rifle and started shooting.

She phoned for help and then "ran for my life along with hundreds of others".

A woman from Melbourne told the Australian Associated Press that she took refuge under a table when he opened fire in the cafe.

"I just lay there and all I could hear was the gun and screaming. The only thing that went through my head was, 'the next one's for me'.

"Afterwards there were people just sitting in their chairs where they'd been eating - dead. There was a weird sort of calm, as if no one could believe what they were seeing."

"There was a little girl who had been killed," Karen Jones told ABC radio. "The guy that we were with had to go and help take a stretcher in and the mother was saying, 'You have to get my baby to the hospital, quick, quick,' but it was already dead."

Phillip Kelly, a cafe owner, told TV Channel 10: "There is a lady dead in a car at the top of the drive. There's been people shot in the historic site, and there's been people shot near the pub."

Another witness said the gunman fired on helicopters taking his victims to hospital.

Carmel Pinniger, of Ararat, Victoria, heard the shots but did not know what was happening. "We thought it was a 21-gun salute, some kind of re-enactment."

Name: The Daily Telegraph Date: 29 Apr 96 Author: Hugh Muir
Two escape chutes fall from jet

TWO ESCAPE chutes fell from a Virgin Atlantic 747 jumbo jet yesterday as it flew from Heathrow to New York with 326 passengers on board.

One of the 220lb, 30 foot-long rubber chutes dropped off shortly after take-off and landed on a tree in an industrial park in Slough, Berk.

The other fell in Wales as the plane was returning to Heathrow for safety checks. The flight will resume today.

Will Whitehorn, a Virgin spokesman, said the aircraft had been serviced by British Airways engineers but a British Airways spokesman said: "To say that had any bearing on this incident whatsoever would be speculative. "

Name: The Daily Telegraph Date: 29 Apr 96 Author: Ahmed Rashid
At least 52 killed as bombers hit bus in Pakistan

AT LEAST 52 people were reported killed yesterday when a bomb exploded in a bus near Lahore as people travelled home for the Eid holiday, celebrating the end of the Haj pilgrimage.

Estimates of the number of deaths varied wildly with police saying 37 bodies had been recovered, but the total could rise to 60.

The state-run news agency, Associated Press of Pakistan. said a bomb squad defused a second explosive device. This had not been confirmed last night.

Reporters at Bhaiperu, about 35 miles south of Lahore, said that after the bomb went off, the petrol tank exploded and the bus caught fire, incinerating any of the passengers, including six children.

At least 24 seriously injured passengers were taken to Lahore hospitals. Many are said to be in critical condition.

"Charred bodies were lying scattered all over the place and pieces of flesh were hanging from the frame of the bus," said Abdul Asim of the Nawai Waqt, a leading Urdu-language newspaper.

Nobody has yet claimed responsibility for the blast.

Benazir Bhutto, the Prime Minister, condemned the attack, calling it a heinous act that showed the killers had no respect even for the most pious day of Islam.

A series of bombs have exploded in and around Lahore over the past few weeks. On April 14, a bomb killed seven people and injured 35 at a cancer hospital run by Imran Khan, the cricket star who is launching his own political party.

Senior army officers claim the blast at the hospital was perpetrated by Indian intelligence in an attempt to widen the political rift between Imran and Ms Bhutto while other blasts have been carried out to sow political discord in Punjab, Pakistan's largest and most populous province.

On Saturday a bomb exploded in a bus at Modingar, 40 miles south of New Delhi, killing 13 people, as Indians went to the polls.

Some Indian politicians blamed Pakistan for the blast and there was some speculation in Lahore, without the slightest evidence, that yesterday's bomb could have been Indian retaliation.

India has accused Pakistan of arming Kashmiri separatists, and Pakistan has accused India for some of the violence in the strife-torn city of Karachi, where more than 200 people have been killed this year.

Over the weekend there was intense artillery shelling between the two armies on their disputed border in Kashmir.

Name: The Daily Telegraph Date: 29 Apr 96 Author: Maurice Weaver
Kiss of life saves baby 'drowned' after crash

A BABY boy was revived by the kiss of life after being pulled from a water-filled ditch into which he had been catapulted when a family car ran off the road.

Ten-month-old Joshua McNulty was not breathing when he was plucked from the three-foot deep water by his father, Sean.

Alex Hardy a passenger in the vehicle which had collided with Mr McNulty's car, resuscitated him on the bank.

Mr McNulty, who is trained in first-aid, helped bring his son round by massaging his heart. Yesterday Joshua and his parents were recovering in hospital.

The accident, at Acle, near Great Yarmouth, Norfolk, happened when Mr McNulty, 31, a landscape gardener from Silsden, West Yorks, was returning from a seaside break at Caister with his wife Anne, 32, and other sons Daniel, seven. and Andrew, six. Their Ford Escort swerved into the ditch, coming to rest on its side. Mr McNulty, who was driving, struggled out and found Joshua was missing.

The baby had been sitting in a child seat in the back and was catapulted into the water 10 feet away.

Yesterday Mr McNulty described how he escaped by kicking out the sun roof and helped other members of his family out before realising Joshua was missing.

He said: "I thought at first that he must be under the car seat but he was not there. Then I got into the water, which was waist-deep. but there was still no sign of him.

"Our luggage had spilled everywhere and I kept on picking up items of clothing, thinking it was a baby."

Other motorists who had stopped to help watched as Mr McNulty searched. His wife on the bank screamed: "My baby is dead."

Then one helper, Tanya Fletcher "He's behind you."

The father said: "I could just see his cardigan and I pulled at it and there he was. I lifted him on to the side. His face was pale and his lips were going blue."

Mr McNulty added: "Joshua had stopped breathing. This other man grabbed hold of him and stuck his fingers in his mouth to get the water out. There was no response so I started slapping him on his back. I kept shouting that I was not going to let him die on me.

"I turned him over on his side and the stranger gave him mouth-to-mouth while I did chest compressions. Then suddenly he just sparked into life. He coughed and all this stuff came out of his mouth. When he started crying I knew he was all right - but then I just collapsed."

Mr Hardy, whose wife, Jacqueline, was driving when the accident happened, said later: "The father was determined not to let his baby die. He was obviously in control and kept repeating: 'Don't go on me, don't go on me.'

"After I breathed six or seven times into the baby's mouth, his eyes slowly opened and he coughed feebly, then more vigorously until he was crying.''

Another motorist, Samantha Lee from Norwich, pulled Andrew from the ditch after seeing his head bobbing. She said: "He was so pleased and kept saying: 'Thank you, lady'." Norfolk Police said Joshua had been very lucky. Mr and Mrs McNulty received cuts. Their other sons have been discharged from hospital in Gorleston, Norfolk.

Mr McNulty said: "Words cannot express how grateful I am to everyone who helped us at the scene. I trained in first aid at work and I knew I had to try and stay calm and practice what I had learned."

Name: The Times Date: 29 Apr 96 Author: Roger Maynard
32 killed in tourist massacre Gunman holds hostages after bloody Tasmania rampage

POLICE reinforcements were being flown into Tasmania as dawn broke to confront a young gunman who had earlier killed 32 people and wounded 18 in a bloody rampage.

The gunman and his three hostages were surrounded by police in a holiday home. Police who spoke to the killer by telephone said he seemed unaware of the murders he had committed. Later he demanded a helicopter be put at his disposal before contact was broken off.

Local hospitals worked through the night treating the victims of an outrage that began on a quiet Sunday afternoon when the gunman pulled an automatic rifle from a tennis bag and opened fire in a crowded cafe. It is the worst massacre in Australia's history and the final death toll is expected to rise. The dead included two Canadians, tourists of Asian origin and Australians from Tasmania and the mainland states.

Extra staff were brought in, additional beds made available and the Royal Hobart Hospital appealed for blood donors.

Relatives of the killer, who comes from a Hobart suburb and has a history of mental illness, were helping the police.

The victims were struck down at Port Arthur, a former convict settlement about 30 miles from Hobart. More than 500 Australian and foreign tourists were visiting the historic site when the lone gunman walked into a cafe and opened fire.

One witness heard him mutter: "There are a lot of Wasps [White Anglo-Saxon Protestants] around here, there are not many Japs," before opening fire.

The man, 29, described as a "blond, surfie-type", then went outside and began shooting at tourist buses in the car park. The driver of a coach and some of his passengers were killed. Passing motorists and people entering the toll booth entrance to the museum were also sprayed with bullets.

Phillip Milburn, who witnessed the shooting, said: "He wasn't going bang, bang, bang, bang. It was bang and then he'd pick someone else out and line them up and shoot them."

Wendy Scurr, who was working at the site's reception desk, said she believed children were among the victims. She said her first reaction was to shout for help and then "run for my life along with hundreds of others". A few minutes later customers were thrown into panic as the gunman entered the bar of the nearby Fox and Hounds pub, which was packed with Sunday lunchtime drinkers, and started firing.

He left the bar as calmly as he arrived, placing his weapon in a tennis bag before climbing into a car with a surfboard on the roof and driving to a remote holiday guest-house.

There he took three hostages and repelled police by taking pot shots at advancing officers. He also fired at helicopters as they ferried the injured to hospital in Hobart.

A police spokesman said the gunman was in a strong position to defend himself because there was water on one side of the building and open land around the rest.

The owners of the Seascape guest-house, David and Sally Martin, were being held hostage, the Melbourne Age newspaper reported. It was believed that there was an arsenal of weapons which belonged to the owner's son in the guest-house.

"We're aware of weapons that were in the house. As to whether they're in operable condition we don't know," Police Superintendent Bob Fielding said this morning. "What we do know is that he's got a high-powered weapon and he's firing that weapon," he said.

Tony Rundell, the State Premier, said: "All Tasmanians and all Australians will be sick at heart tonight at this massacre.

John Howard, the Prime Minister, expressed his shock and disbelief at what he described as "this senseless murder".

John Johnson, the Tasmanian police chief, said: "Why he's done this no one knows but if he's done it to make some point in life he's made that point. Now's the time to come out and avoid any more bloodshed.

"All I'm hoping is that he will realise the terrible damage he has done and will give himself up without any further fight."

Name: The Times Date: 29 Apr 96 Author: Stephen Farrell
Father brought crash baby back to life in ditch

A FATHER pulled his 10-month-old son from a water-filled ditch and helped to bring him back to life after a road accident. Sean McNulty, 31, from Silsden, West Yorkshire, said he thought Joshua, his youngest son, was dead after the crash near Great Yarmouth, Norfolk, on Friday.

The baby was thrown clear in the crash which left the family's car on its side in a dyke on the A47.

Mr McNulty kicked his way through the Ford Escort's sunroof and found that his wife and two other sons, Daniel, 7, and Andrew, 5, had scrambled to safety.

The baby, however, was no longer in his seat.

It was only when a passing motorist, Samantha Lee, 25, a housewife, from Lakenham, Norwich, noticed the boy's red and blue spotted cardigan that they realised he was face down in the water. Mr McNulty said: "I realised that there had been five of us in the car and there was no sign of the baby. I thought at first that he was under the car seat but he was not there. Then I got into the water which was waist deep, but could not find him and I just started thrashing around looking for him," Mr McNulty, a landscape gardener, said.

"Our luggage had spilt out everywhere and I kept on picking up items of clothing. I was frantic because there were so many clothes in the water and everything looked like a baby. I was desperate," he said.

"Someone shouted 'He's behind you' and I turned to see his cardigan. I pulled at it and there he was and I lifted him on to the side. I don't know what death looks like but he looked like he had gone."

The baby had no pulse and was not breathing. Although Mr McNulty is a trained first aider he had never revived anyone but he massaged the baby's heart while another motorist, Alex Hardy, 31, from Lowestoft, Suffolk, gave mouth-to-mouth resuscitation for "what seemed like hours".

"I just tried not to panic and said to myself, 'You know what to do. Now just do it'. I said 'I am not letting you go'. In reality I think we were treating him for about a minute. It was just so wonderful to see him come back to life and to hear him cry.

"He coughed and started crying and I knew then that he was all right and then I fainted," Mr McNulty. said. Mr Hardy, a production manager at a Bird's Eye factory in Lowestoft, Suffolk, said although he had undergone a works training course in first aid he had never given mouth-to-mouth resuscitation before either.

Mrs Lee said afterwards: "I was driving behind when I saw the car go off the road. I saw the man in the water and shouted to him that I could see the baby face down. I then watched while they gave him mouth-to-mouth resuscitation and then heard him cough. That cough was really something. I picked him up and cuddled him for joy."

The family had been on a caravan holiday in Caister, near Great Yarmouth and were on their way home when their car was hit by Mr Hardy's, whose pregnant wife blacked out at the wheel. Mr McNulty has a serious shoulder injury and a badly damaged eye and will stay in the James Paget Hospital, Great Yarmouth, while the baby and the rest of the family return home. Mr McNulty is to have an operation today.

His wife, Anne, 32, a domestic worker, said yesterday: "Sean was just amazing. He saved Joshua's life."

The baby and his parents were initially taken to different hospitals but were reunited yesterday.

Name: The Times Date: 29 Apr 96 Author: Harvey Elliott
Escape chute falls from plane

AN EMERGENCY escape chute fell 1,500 feet from a jumbo jet yesterday, landing in a tree yards from parked cars and lorries.

The chute, which doubles as a liferaft, dropped from a Virgin Airlines Boeing 747 shortly after take-off from Heathrow. It landed in the McKay trading estate in Poyle, near Slough.

Police were alerted by a lorry driver who narrowly escaped injury when the raft plummeted into a tree. The chute was described by Thames Valley Police as a heavy roll of rubber 30ft long and 8ft wide. It came from flight VS003 bound for New York. The aircraft, with 326 passengers on board, turned back to London, landing safely at Heathrow at 8pm last night.

The chute was stored in the lower fuselage just below the wing and is used in an emergency to enable passengers escaping on to the wing to reach the ground. It is deployed after door number three, the over-wing exit, is opened. The chute is kept coiled in a container and should have been firmly secured.

British Airways engineers, who had spent the last week servicing the 747, were trying to establish what had gone wrong. Air accident investigators from the Department of Transport and the Civil Aviation Authority will begin a formal investigation today into what could have been a serious accident.

Virgin Airlines said there would be a full investigation into the incident.

Name: The Times Date: 29 Apr 96 Author: Zahid Hussein
Bomb on crowded bus kills 40 in Pakistan

A POWERFUL bomb ripped through a bus in Pakistan yesterday, killing at least 40 people. Most of the passengers were returning home to celebrate the Muslim festival of Eid al-Adha.

A second bomb was found near the wrecked bus and safely defused, the official Associated Press of Pakistan news agency said. The high-intensity bomb left 26 people critically wounded in Bhai Peru, a town about 15 miles from Lahore, the capital of the Pakistani state of Punjab.

Most of the victims were burnt to death inside the bus, which caught fire immediately after the explosion. At least 36 people were killed on the spot while four others died on the way to hospital.

Five women and six children were among the dead. Rescue workers said the bodies were so badly burnt they were hardly recognisable.

The overloaded bus was carrying more than 80 passengers, with many sitting on the roof. The bomb, planted under the seat over the petrol tank, exploded as the vehicle drove through the town's bazaar.

An ambulance driver who arrived on the scene a few minutes after the explosion described the bus as a fireball. He said people trapped inside it were screaming for help. "There was no fire extinguisher available, and we helplessly watched them dying as no one could go near the burning bus," he said.

Only the people sitting on the roof survived. The driver and the conductor of the bus also escaped as they managed to jump out of the burning vehicle.

Doctors said that most of those taken to hospital were in serious condition with third-degree burns. The death toll is expected to rise. The badly charred bodies were later buried in a common grave.

Benazir Bhutto, the Prime Minister of Pakistan. described the blast as a "dastardly act". She said in a statement: "The fact that terrorists chose the auspicious occasion of Eid al-Adha for committing such a heinous act showed they had no respect even for the most pious day of Islam. The Government will not compromise with terrorists and will fight them till [the] last of them is brought to book."

But she mentioned no name or organisation that she believed could be responsible and nobody has yet claimed responsibility for the bus bomb. Sardar Mohammed Arif Nakai, the Chief Minister of the province, also condemned the act of terrorism. He said the bombing was carried out by forces which wanted to create anarchy in the country. He, too, did not name any group or foreign country.

Punjab, Pakistan's largest province, has been rocked by a series of bomb blasts in the past months. Earlier this month a charitable cancer hospital in Lahore, set up by Imran Khan, the former cricket hero and aspiring politician, was targeted by unidentified bombers. The explosion killed seven people and devastated part of the hospital. There have been other bomb blasts on buses in different parts of the province, but yesterday's incident was by far the worst.

Last week Miss Bhutto said that her Government had received intelligence reports claiming that Punjab would be targeted by foreign-sponsored terrorists, an obvious reference to neighbouring India.

Pakistani officials have often accused India of being responsible for acts of sabotage in the border area to punish Islamabad for its political support of separatist militants fighting Indian rule in the disputed Himalayan region of Kashmir.

Name: The Guardian Date: 13/5/96 Author: Martyn Halsall
Dawn greets United's kings of the soccer double double

THE baby slept soundly despite the cacophony of whistles around him and the felt Red Devil horns lashed firmly above his ears. His granny trudged gamely behind his pram, dressed in red and white from head to foot.

It was his first taste of soccer life as the family of Manchester took to the streets with thousands of others yesterday to welcome home the United team after their second League and Cup double in three years.

"It's a good family day out, even just to see them go past," said Dean Harrison, an engineer from Stockport, sporting a cardboard FA Cup on his forehead. "It puts Manchester on the map and shows what a great city it is ... even when you are wearing a silly hat."

Silly hats at £1 each were small change among the street supermarkets selling everything from Eric the King flags (£5) to posters (£5) and the whistles turning the crowds into a discordant dawn chorus.

Street artists transformed children's faces into red and white split-screen accolades of team heroes, particularly King Cantona, at £1.50 a mask. Family lobbying was unremitting.

"I got you a flag with 'Champions' on last time," a mother scolded an insistent supplicant. "But the next day you threw it under the stairs," the offspring insisted.

Crowds gathered up to three hours before the quick-step parade. Cars sporting large flags, like Parisian political supporters on election nights, hooted their way past local soccer shrines like Lou Macari Fish and Chips.

A massed choir, 10 deep, gathered outside Trafford town hall for victory anthems. "Are you watching, are you watching, are you watching, Newcastle?" they carolled to the tune of My Darling Clementine.

Then roads were stilled, the waves of cheering rose to a crescendo and the flag-waving reached gale force. Grandparents joined children on walls and fathers shed a generation as the orange open-top bus passed through aisles of ecstatic spectators.

It lasted a moment, followed by instant inquests of who had been glimpsed. Alex Ferguson was waving from the front over a flash of silver, but the players lining each side in white looked drained, as if they had just walked from Wembley.

Worshippers gathered behind to escort the bus on its three-mile journey south from the city centre. Their cheering and singing could be heard half a mile away.

"We're here to say 'thank you'; we are privileged," said Chris Miller, a group administrator from Ascot, who moved south from Manchester eight years ago. A long trip for a glimpse of silver glory? "To people who don't understand, it probably is," said the philosophical fan of 44 seasons.

Name: The Guardian Date: 13/5/96 Author: Ian Katz in New York
Miami air disaster fuels safety worries

DOUBTS were raised over the safety of America's booming low-fare airlines yesterday after a DC-9 plunged "like a bullet" into the swampy Florida Everglades at the weekend, killing all 109 passengers and crew, including two Britons.

The aircraft, which was flying from Miami to Atlanta, was operated by ValuJet, a budget carrier which had been under intense scrutiny by the Federal Aviation Administration following a string of incidents.

Yesterday it emerged that the 27-year-old jet had been forced to return to airports seven times in the last two years because of minor safety problems, though it passed an FAA inspection last week.

The FAA had recently expressed concern over "a significant decrease" in the experience level of ValuJet's low-paid pilots, after an investigation into several runway accidents, including a fire last June that injured seven people and destroyed a DC-9.

Yesterday, ValuJet's president, Lewis Jordan, conceded that he paid his pilots half the basic salary of other airlines, but insisted: "I don't think you increase the level of safety by the amount you pay."

Flight 593 disappeared from radar screens 11 minutes after the pilot had reported smoke in the cockpit and requested permission to return to Miami.

The twin-engine jet was approximately 20 miles west of Miami international airport when it dived to the ground at an angle of about 75 degrees, according to Daniel Muelhaupt, who saw the crash from his small plane nearby. "The wreckage was like if you take your garbage and just throw it on the ground."

By the time rescuers reached the remote crash scene, the alligator-infested swamp appeared to have swallowed up most of the aircraft. Searchers found only fragments of debris and a few personal effects.

Two Britons, Devlin and Roger Loughney, were among the passengers, ValuJet said. It gave no further details.

Rescue officials formally abandoned the search for survivors yesterday. Investigators from the National Transportation Safety Board will attempt to recover the bodies and establish the crash cause.

It comes as a bitter blow to America's cut-price airlines, which have enjoyed rampant growth by paring costs to the bone and operating older second-hand jets. Atlanta-based ValuJet started with two jets in 1993 and now serves 31 cities with a fleet of 51 aircraft.

In January, three ValuJet aircraft were involved in airport incidents, including two in which the jets skidded off icy runways. The FBI mounted a massive safety inquiry but reportedly discovered no significant problems.

Nevertheless, the airline agreed to scale back its expansion plans and to attempt to recruit more experienced pilots and technical staff.

Investigators attempting to recover the remains of the aircraft and its occupants face a daunting task. The swamps teem with alligators and snakes and can only be reached by boat or helicopter.

Name: The Guardian Date: 13/5/96 Author: Michael White, Political Editor
Labour stakes £1.5bn on lost young Jobs plan focus for party unity THE Labour leadership will stage a spectacular display of unity this week designed to steady party nerves and persuade voters that a Blair-led cabinet can provide an effective package of policy measures to rescue the "lost generation" of 600,000 young unemployed.

A three-pronged £1.5 billion programme intended to provide jobs and training opportunities for the 16 to 25 age group - and to spearhead the clean-up of vandalised neighbourhoods as an antidote to crime - will be unveiled on Wednesday by Tony Blair and his key lieutenants in the social policy field.

It comes as fresh glimpses emerge of simmering rivalries over policy battles and prestige as the prospect of power gets closer and more vocal backbench MPs voice resentment at the disciplines imposed by Mr Blair's two-year, leadership.

Though designed to signal a radical shift of funds towards education and training for the neediest youngsters Wednesday's "lost generation" initiative - entitled Target 2000: a New Deal for the Under 25s - will not embrace the wider issue of higher and further education funding at this stage.

But student loans, grants and fees will all be reviewed. And next weekend's regular meeting of Labour's national policy forum will be asked to endorse the "lifelong learning" proposals agreed between the shadow chancellor, Gordon Brown, and the education spokesman, David Blunkett.

They will include a revival of the principle of some form of graduate tax to help finance rapidly expanding options, and win be unveiled in mid-summer. As with Mr Brown's forthcoming review of child benefit for the 16-plus group, there will be "winners and losers" as Labour seeks to reshape public spending without rapidly expanding it.

Central to the Target 2000 package are:

• A commitment to abolish the £550 million Youth Training system in which half the 16 to 18-year-old participants currently drop out before completion. It will be replaced by a new youth training guarantee that will ensure that all youngsters not in full-time education will get training to a minimum qualification;

• More details of the welfare-to-work package which Mr Brown unveiled, amid controversy last winter. Labour would provide a mixture of jobs and training for the 300,000 people a year aged between 18 and 25 who are unemployed for more than six months;

• Positive proposals to prevent crime, and the drift into criminality, by enlisting young people to work on improving the social and physical environment by cleaning up estates and similar undertakings designated by Labour Environmental Task Force.

The money for the programmes, initially intended to reach 700,000 unskilled, young people not in work or training, will come partly from the £1 billion windfall tax Mr Brown plans to levy on the privatised utilities, and partly from abolishing YT, with up to £150 million more coming from redirected money now spent by the training and enterprise councils.

Wednesday's high profile launch comes amid renewed backbench sniping at the Blair style of leadership and gossip over tensions in his team as the election campaign enters the final straight.

MPs on both sides of the feud were quick yesterday to play down talk of a crisis-led intervention, possibly by Labour's chief whip, Donald Dewar, to ease the widely documented coolness between Mr Brown and Peter Mandelson, who chairs the election planning group.

As with John Major's team, these are not the only tensions, personal and policy-driven, in Labour's upper ranks, with Mr Brown criticised by some shadow colleagues both for his dogged austerity over spending pledges and what critics see as the free rein Mr Blair gives him to roam across departmental boundaries to initiate policy.

"There are too many backbench MPs who feel they are onlookers required to defend policies they have not been briefed on," one Blair loyalist conceded yesterday, amid reports that the leader's meetings with backbenchers had produced a few outbursts.

Mr Brown, Mr Blunkett, social security spokesman Chris Smith, and the shadow home secretary, Jack Straw will all be at Wednesday's launch in what will be intended to show both unity and a will to take tough, reformist decisions.

One likely victim of the need for discipline in the face of the coming Tory onslaught is now expected to be the annual shadow cabinet elections in November. A plan to stage them early in July, to avoid distracting MPs from the real election in the autumn, was ditched by the Parliamentary Labour Party (PLP) last week. Before July MPs expect to be asked to give up all thoughts of voting out unpopular shadow ministers like Harriet Harman.

Name: The Guardian Date: 13/5/96 Author: Michael White, Political Editor
Clarke's tax hint despite 'past error' THE Chancellor, Kenneth Clarke, yesterday stepped up his guerrilla warfare against the Tory right by insisting that his cautious approach to tax and spending cuts may yet yield a budget dividend - provided economic growth this summer justifies his own optimism.

But Mr Clarke gave a significant hostage to political fortune when he conceded that John Major's government "made a genuine mistake" in its handling of precisely the same policies in the run-up to the last general election in 1991-1992.

Labour immediately said it justified Gordon Brown's calls for an independent audit of Treasury figures.

The Chancellor's confession will not win him friends in the Tory ranks where simpler rightwingers want early tax cuts and more sophisticated allies of John Redwood are detecting an inflationary surge which would hit the economy only after the election.

The money supply is rising at 10.1 per cent a year, which should boost consumer spending before the election. Mr Redwood said last night:

"There is no problem with the RPI before the election. The Chancellor is right about that. But are we creating conditions for inflation in 18 months or two years' time?"

Despite a weak first quarter, Mr Clarke stuck to his optimistic prediction that growth will touch 3 per cent this year - enough to leave room for tax cuts unless overturned by unforeseen events.

He also repeated his defence of strong welfare spending - made in an interview with the Observer - and cheekily insisted that "the vast majority of Conservative MPs" agree that taxes can only be cut when "it's an honest thing to do" - and not at at the expense of schools, hospital or police budgets.

The Chancellor told BBC1's On the Record viewers yesterday that public spending was under control. "But the tax revenues are down and we do have to re-adjust to that," he said.

"We are borrowing more than I intended and I have conceded that all the way through. That lies behind the message I have given in my speeches."

He added: "We have a tax-cutting agenda. I am a tax-cutting Chancellor by instinct. But this is a sophisticated world. When I cut taxes you will know they will last."

Independent Date: 13/5/96 Author: PHIL DAVISON, Miami
No hope for 109 on jet that 'fell like a bullet' Only 20 hours after a domestic jetliner plunged into Florida's Everglades swamp with 109 people on board, including two British passengers, rescuers called off the search for survivors yesterday.

They said the ValuJet DC-9 appeared to have bored into the swamp "like a power drill" on Saturday and either disintegrated or was swallowed up by mud and quicksand.

The search for bodies and the flight recorders continued, using helicopters and "airboats", fan-driven swamp vessels which cut through sawgrass and reeds in the Everglades national park.

Lewis Jordan, president of the Atlanta-based ValuJet, denied that the 27-year-old aircraft had been too old, but admitted it had had a series of problems in recent months. Air safety officials said it had turned back to airports seven times in two years with technical problems.

Last night it was confirmed that two British citizens were among the 109 dead. The airline gave their names as Devlin Loughney and Roger Loughney. No addresses were given.

A passenger on board the same aeroplane earlier on Saturday said it appeared to have had problems before and during that flight.

ValuJet Flight 592 from Miami International Airport to Atlanta took off around 2pm on Saturday. After circling north-west, the pilot requested permission to return, reportedly citing smoke in the cockpit.

It then disappeared from traffic controllers' screens. A light aircraft pilot who saw it go down said it plunged into the swamp about 20 miles north-west of the airport, "like a bullet".

Name: Independent Date: 13/5/96 Author: Phil Davison reports on the grim search in 'The River of Grass'
An empty seat, some clothes and a photo album were all that remained of Flight 592 "All I saw was an empty airplane seat floating in the muck, what looked like children's clothes and a photo album showing a mother with her children. There was no sign of bodies and only tiny pieces of debris."

Lt Chris Aguirre, a rescue worker with the so-alled Haz Mat (hazardous materials) branch of the Miami fire department, was describing what he saw after arriving at the spot where an American passenger aircraft - on a flight from Miami to Atlanta - plummeted into the snake and alligator-infested Everglades swamp near Miami airport on Saturday with 109 people on board.

"All I could think of was whether that mother and children had been on board, what they had been doing seconds before it crashed. And I thought of my own family," he said.

Luis Fernandez, a fire department spokesman, shrugged off mosquitoes and dragonflies, and said: "We have not found any survivors, we have not found any victims, we have not found any body parts.

"The biggest piece of debris we found was no bigger than a baseball cap. We've found clothes that may have come out of luggage."

Reporters were kept several miles from the crash site, near Highway 41, known locally as the Tamiami Trail, which cuts through the swamp known as The River of Grass on the edge of the Miccosukee Indian reservation. But rescue workers described an eerie silence yesterday in the area where the aircraft went down "like a bullet, at a 75-degree angle", according to Dan Muelhaupt, a light aircraft pilot who saw the crash. "I thought at first it was a small plane doing some kind of aerial manoeuvres, then I realised it was a passenger jet out of control. When it hit the swamp, there was a fireball of dirt and debris, like a mushroom cloud."

Another pilot said the aircraft, white with a pale blue sailplane and yellow trim, "bored into the swamp like a power drill".

Mr Muelhaupt said the biggest piece of debris he saw as he overflew the site appeared to be a jet engine but by yesterday there was no sign of an engine or any sizeable debris, according to local television cameramen in the area in helicopters. "It's quicksand out there. It doesn't have a bottom," said Harold Johnson, a local fisherman. "It may have just swallowed that plane up."

Jim Ries, a Florida wildlife official, said the water in the area is about 3ft deep at present. In the rainy season, in the summer, it reaches 5ft or more. "But below that there's muck and mud and it can be very deep. The plane could be buried in there."

The DC-9 jet of the Atlanta-based cut-price ValuJet airline crashed about 20 miles northwest of the airport. It had been returning to the airport after the pilot reported smoke in the cockpit.

Rescue workers set up a command post on a levee - a man-made dirt causeway through the swamp - and searched the area by helicopter and local "airboats", flat-bottomed hydrofoils driven by huge fan-like propellers. The airboats, normally used to ferry tourists through the 2,000 square-mile Everglades to see alligators, snakes and rare birds were the only way to reach the site. But by 11am yesterday, despite clear weather, rescue officials said they had called off the search for survivors.

"We have divers out there but the water is so murky they can't see more than an inch in front of their faces. They're literally feeling their way around, groping," said Mr Fernandez. "They're wearing protective clothing. We're concerned about a fuel explosion. There are usually poisonous snakes and alligators in that area but they probably got well out of there after the crash. Among the ideas under consideration is a grid system, with divers probing small areas one by one, or draining the entire area by building dams and dykes."

Miami police sealed off an area of three miles' radius around the crash site and warned airboat owners they would be arrested if they entered the zone. The security measures led to initial speculation that authorities feared the crash might have been the result of a terrorist attack - ValuJet is based in Atlanta, Georgia, site of this year's Olympic Games - but officials said the measures were because of fears that the jet's fuel could catch fire or explode.

Last night, the local Channel 7 television station quoted an unnamed passenger who had flown into Miami on the same aircraft earlier on Saturday as saying that it had had several problems before and during the flight. "They seemed to keep checking the engines before we took-off. Then the intercom went down during the flight and the stewardesses used megaphones to talk to us."

Among those believed to have died were Conway Hamilton, 85, and his wife Laura, 78, from Miami, who were flying to their granddaughter's college graduation, and American football star Rodney Culver of the San Diego Chargers.

Name: Independent Date: 13/5/96 Author: COLIN BROWN Chief Political Correspondent
Fundholding: 'GPs cannot cope' Watchdog says doctors have neither skills nor drive to make health scheme work A devastating indictment of the Government's flagship health care scheme, GP fundholding, is to be delivered by an independent public spending watchdog.

The Audit Commission report, drafts of which have been sent to ministers and the British Medical Association, challenges the Government's claims that the system is providing better care to the patient and saving money for the taxpayer.

The report, to be published next week, concludes that GP-dominated purchasing of NHS care "is not desirable". One reason given is "few GPs have the skills or motivation to manage large practices fully and competently". The findings will reinforce Labour's claims that GP fundholders should be brought within the scope of NHS plans, in "joint commissioning" of care by family doctors. Harriet Harman, Labour's health spokeswoman, said last night: "If this leak is accurate, it shows the commission report supports Labour's case for changing fundholding so that all GPs work with hospitals and health authorities to shape patient care."

The report, a copy of which has been obtained by the Independent, could prove embarrassing for the Government as it embarks on a consultation exercise to boost the range of services being offered by GPs. Stephen Dorrell, the Secretary of State for Health, has rejected the advice to the Prime Minister in the "Maples letter" to keep the NHS out of the headlines in the run-up to the general election. He is facing Labour's challenge head-on by claiming that the success of GP fundholding has put Ms Harman on the defensive over her plans to replace it.

But the report, while not attacking the principle of fundholding, questions ministerial claims that the system is the driving force for innovation in the NHS. Many fundholders are "under-performing or making purchasing decisions which represent less than the best possible value for money".

Some fundholders have begun to re-shape services in a fundamental way to the benefit of patients, but the report says for others "the great majority of their purchasing is for the same services, in the same quantities, delivered in the same way by the same providers [hospitals] and with few measurable extra benefits to patients".

It says: "Most fundholders are not making full use of the increasing body of knowledge about clinical effectiveness to inform their commissioning decisions. One reason is that they face conflicting demands from their patients."

Fundholders were increasingly purchasing services such as physiotherapy, counselling and complementary therapies because they were requested by the patients, but they had not been proven to be effective. Few fundholders met Patient's Charter day surgery targets, and most were failing to maximise efficiency savings from day surgery, mainly because the GPs still leave it to the consultant to decide.

One of the most controversial findings is over the use of savings by fundholders which should be recycled into patient care. The GPs are urged to try to improve direct patient care, for example, by reducing waiting lists by buying more surgery from hospitals, before investing the money in their premises from which the GPs could gain personal benefit.

As a check on how the savings are spent, the GPs are supposed to provide a savings plan for the health authority to approve, but half of fundholders supplied no plans. There are reports that thousands of pounds were spent on a swimming pool built beside one GP surgery, supposedly for patients. Savings varied from a few thousand pounds in some areas to more than £150,000 in others.

The report warns that windfalls from late invoicing by hospitals for work carried out for GPs will result in higher prices elsewhere in the NHS unless they act as a stimulus for the hospital to improve efficiency.

The Government's White Paper proposing fundholding in 1989 envisaged GPs would compete for patients, and that patients would move to practices offering the best services, says the report. "There is no evidence that patients are changing practice in large numbers for reasons other than changing address."

Fundholding practices are more likely than non-fundholding GPs to offer a wide range of services of all kinds at the practice but this is "often because of reasons which pre-date their entry into fundholding".

The commission found that a few fundholding practices had achieved fundamental changes but the majority had focused on one or two significant gains for their patients.

The reason for the "inertia" was partly due to the fear patients could be put off by some changes.

The GPs are also expected to have purchasing plans, but the commission found "some fundholders make no use of their own plans and only write them to satisfy what they see as bureaucratic demand".

Most plans rated poorly against good practice criteria

Name: The Daily Telegraph Date: 13/5/96 Author: By David Sapsted in New York
Swamp 'swallows' crashed airliner

SAFETY standards at ValuJet, the cheap-flights airline that has grown from nothing to a major US carrier in less than three years, emerged yesterday as one of the questions surrounding the DC-9 crash in the Everglades that killed all 109 people on board. As rescuers called off the hopeless search for survivors in the swamp that swallowed up the jet when it crashed 20 miles from Miami airport on Saturday, federal investigators began their inquiry.

Federico Pena, the Transportation Secretary, flew over the crash site as rescuers and investigators admitted that the recovery of the aircraft, the victims and the crucial black boxes represented one of the most difficult operations in aircraft accident history. The Federal Aviation Administration has still not completed its final report on the "special emphasis investigation" that it undertook in February after a series of mishaps involving ValuJet planes. At the time, FAA inspectors looked at every aspect of ValuJet's operations, particularly at the experience of pilots and other aircrew and at the standards of maintenance.

Preliminary findings did not uncover any major shortcomings, and only last month Mr Pena told journalists concerned about ValuJet's safety record that "it is a safe airline like all other airlines".

However, Lewis Jordan, ValuJet president, admitted yesterday that, in discussions with FAA officials, the company had agreed to slow its rate of growth.

Until Saturday, it had 51 aircraft but plans to increase this to 58 by the end of the year had been cut back to 54 in the FAA talks. The company had also, at its own volition, embarked on additional training for both air and ground crew, Mr Jordan said, adding that the captain of the crashed jet had logged more than 2,000 hours as a ValuJet pilot.

Mr Pena said that, because of the rapid expansion of the airline, the FAA had expressed concerns about the experience of pilots and maintenance supervisors. But he said ValuJet had taken steps to rectify the situation, including curtailing its latest expansion plans.

Among the problems encountered by the fledgling airline have been several minor runway accidents involving its jets, a fire last year that destroyed a DC-9 on the ground at its home base of Atlanta, and safety concerns over second-hand engines bought from Turkey. There had been no fatalities before Saturday's crash.

Flight 592, with 104 passengers and a crew of five, was about 100 miles into a flight from Miami to Atlanta when the captain reported smoke in the cockpit.

It was attempting to return to Miami when Daniel Muelhaupt, pilot of a small aircraft, saw the 27-year-old jet plunge into the swamp at an angle of about 75 degrees. "It shot like a bullet into the ground," he said. "When it hit the ground, the water and dirt flew up. It looked like a bomb went off."

The cause of the fire is the priority of investigators but the DC-9 was believed to have had older-type "black boxes" that do not offer the complete analysis of a plane's electrical and mechanical systems as more modern versions.

Rescuers were trying to determine how to retrieve the aircraft which, apart from scattered debris, is buried in a small area of peat beneath about five feet of water in the swamp.

It seems a 300-yard roadway from the nearest piece of solid ground will have to be built to enable heavy lifting equipment to reach the site. "They are the worst possible conditions. Rescuers sink up to their chests in the water and we believe the aircraft is buried in the peat," a Dade County Rescue spokesman said.

ValuJet started operations in October 1993 with 18 ageing DC-9s bought from Delta Airlines - including the one that crashed on Saturday - offering discount fares on no-frills internal flights. It now serves 26 American cities and doubled its profits last year.

The age and type of the aircraft that crashed is not at this stage considered a major factor: it had a complete, strip-down inspection last October and received a routine air-worthiness inspection only last week.

"We don't have any more concerns about the DC-9 than any other aircraft," said Robert Francis, vice-chairman of the National Transportation Safety Board. Although the aircraft had had to return to airports seven times in the past two years, none of the problems was considered major and all were corrected.

• The happiest man in Miami last night was Terry Huckabee, who had complained to staff at the airport that he was having a bad day: he had missed the flight. "They said no, you're the luckiest man alive," said Mr Huckabee.

Name: The Daily Telegraph Date: 13/5/96 Author: By Neil Tweedie
Inquiry into baby 'found in freezer'

POLICE are investigating the death of a newborn boy whose body was allegedly found in a freezer at the home of the recently retired chief executive of the Rank Organisation.

According to a report in a Sunday newspaper, the discovery was made at the Chelsea home of Michael Gifford, 60. His daughter, Emma, 20, had immediate hospital treatment after the discovery.

Yesterday Mr Gifford's former wife, Asa, who lives in a farmhouse on Mr Gifford's country estate near Little Chart, Kent, said of the report: "It is true. Everything in there is true."

The body was said to have been in the freezer for several weeks before being found by a member of the family.

Police were trying to trace the father of the child, whose identity is not known. A post mortem examination carried out last week was inconclusive.

Name: The Daily Telegraph Date: 13/5/96 Author: by Toby Harnden, Ireland Correspondent
IRA 'primed' for return to violence

THE IRA is "fully primed" for a return to all-out violence in Northern Ireland, according to intelligence assessments. Although a debate is taking place within the IRA about whether to call a fresh ceasefire, any truce would be "tactical" and based on the premise that all-party talks are doomed to failure.

The intelligence picture casts a shadow over the Government's plans for all-party talks on June 10 as Northern Ireland's parties begin their campaigns for the forum elections on May 30. Ministers believe that consensus could emerge during the talks.

"Throughout the ceasefire the IRA retrained, recruited and reorganised. Weapons were moved and dummy runs carried out constantly," one intelligence source said. "Republican goals have not changed and the will to achieve them is as strong as ever."

There have also been indications of increased loyalist paramilitary activity, adding weight to calls by IRA hardliners to abandon the "unarmed strategy". Sinn Fein, however, is under pressure from London and Dublin and the Irish nationalist lobby in America to deliver a second ceasefire so it can take part in the talks.

The security warnings come at the end of a three-week period during which the IRA has stopped moving its weapons and ceased making "dummy runs" for terrorist operations in the province. At the same time, IRA commanders have held a series of meetings in Belfast, Londonderry and south Armagh.

"The lack of IRA activity is purely so the meetings can be held," the source said. "Their volunteers are fully primed and in place in Northern Ireland and on the mainland in preparation for a return to all-out war. This is not about abandoning the armed struggle. It is about whether the already discredited political strategy should be ditched now or in a month's time. Very few within the republican movement believe the all-party talks offer any hope of progress.

"The IRA has not decided on its next move. But the arguments are about tactics rather than long-term strategy. It is a matter of when, rather then if, the next bomb will go off and how long before sectarian violence returns to Northern Ireland."

Northern Ireland Office sources said that an IRA ceasefire was possible. "The hope is that if all the parties gather around the table such a momentum will develop that the talks will eventually lead to a settlement," said one.

The decision on whether to call a ceasefire rests with the seven members of the IRA's army council. In the autumn, three of its members from south Armagh argued successfully that the bombing campaign on the mainland should be renewed.

Security sources said that some Sinn Fein leaders were told of the council's decision in October or November and by the end of January knew the date the Docklands bomb would explode.

Martin McGuinness, Sinn Fein's chief negotiator, said yesterday that he had "no idea" whether there would be any more bombs in London before all-party talks. Speaking on LWT's Jonathan Dimbleby programme, he said that he believed the IRA was "open to persuasion" over the question of a second ceasefire. "I think that the IRA, when they called their ceasefire in August 1994, which they maintained for some 18 months, clearly showed their seriousness and their commitment to the search for a resolution of the conflict in Ireland."

The intelligence source said: "Gerry Adams and Martin McGuinness are saying to the IRA leadership that a new ceasefire would secure entry to all-party talks and that Unionists would then make demands for decommissioning that could not be met.

"This would enable republicans to seize the moral high ground by blaming Unionists for the breakdown of the talks. But IRA commanders in the border counties say the 'unarmed strategy' has failed and a fresh ceasefire would serve no purpose."

Up to five IRA terrorist groups from south Armagh and Co Monaghan in the Irish Republic are in place on the mainland, assessing targets and conducting dummy runs in preparation for further bombings.

The two units based in London have carried out five unsuccessful operations since Docklands. One bomb, probably planted by Edward O'Brien, was made safe after being found in a West End telephone kiosk.

A second exploded prematurely on a bus at Aldwych, killing O'Brien and seriously injuring passengers. Two smaller devices went off in west London but caused little damage.

The Hammersmith Bridge bombs, among the largest ever to be planted on the mainland, were planned to be a "spectacular" to mark the 80th anniversary of the Easter Rising but failed to go off even though the detonators were activated.

"The IRA knew that the loyalist ceasefire was under strain and blowing up people in London would have led to a loyalist attack in Dublin or Northern Ireland," the source said.

Although the IRA is not in danger of splitting, there are clear differences of opinion between those leading the Belfast-based Northern Command and local commanders in the "bandit country" along the border.

In Belfast, the tangible benefits of the ceasefire led to a greater willingness to pursue a political path towards a united Ireland. In Armagh, however, the 17 months of "peace" had little effect on everyday life and did not shake the resolve of the IRA. Its South Armagh Brigade is controlled by a tightly-knit group drawn largely from five families who direct mainland operations in addition to planning attacks in their own areas. The failure so far of the London bomb campaign is probably due to the use of inexperienced volunteers sent as "sleepers" before the ceasefire broke down.

Name: The Daily Telegraph Date: 13/5/96 Author: By Joy Copley, Political Staff
Tory Right on attack over Clarke tax warning

CONSERVATIVE Right-wingers rounded on Kenneth Clarke, the Chancellor, last night after his most determined attempt yet to dampen down expectations of pre-election tax cuts.

Mr Clarke admitted yesterday that borrowing was too high and that the Government had made a mistake on revenue forecasts.

He warned his Tory critics that he would defend the welfare state. Mr Clarke stressed that there would be no "slash and burn" policy of cutting spending on essential services such as health and education to make tax cuts possible.

Right-wing Conservatives, who believe that tax cuts are the only way to secure a general election victory for the Tories, were furious. Bill Cash, the Euro-sceptic MP, suggested Mr Clarke should resign.

He said: "He should reconsider his position. He is admitting that there is no reasonable prospect for tax cuts. It is his fault. The fundamental mess that we are in over tax cuts is the direct result of our remaining in the ERM and our overshoot on borrowing."

Euro-sceptic MPs also blame the Government's continued adherence to the Maastricht convergence criteria for possible entry into a single currency and the £1 billion extra to be spent because of the EU beef ban for reducing the scope for tax cuts.

But Mr Clarke said that the Maastricht criteria "made good economic common sense for us and the rest of Western Europe".

Barry Legg, the Tory MP for Milton Keynes South West, and Patrick Nicholls, a former Tory minister and MP for Teignbridge, both urged the Chancellor to tone down his support for a single currency.

Mr Legg said: "I think any responsible Chancellor should say now that Britain will not abandon the pound and go into a single currency." Mr Nicholls said: "I will not vote for a single currency. I wish he [Mr Clarke] would gently change his mind."

The fresh display of disunity comes at the start of a week which will see difficult votes in the Commons on the Common Agricultural Policy and the homes-for-votes scandal which has engulfed Westminster council. Labour seized on the admission that the Government had made a mistake about revenue forecasts.

It said there should be an independent audit to ensure that public finance figures are open and above board.

Mr Clarke was adamant that he would not bribe the electorate with "hell for leather" tax cuts.

He insisted that there was only a minority of MPs who felt the Tories could not win without tax reductions.

Mr Clarke told BBC1's On the Record programme yesterday: "I think the vast majority of Conservative MPs, like me, meet people all the time who do not want to be given tax cuts at the expense of the schools and the hospitals and the police because Tory voters feel as strongly about resourcing those as they do about tax cuts.

"Taxes depend on public spending, taxes depend on demands on the economy, and we will cut taxes if we can, but only if we can afford it, only if we're going towards a balanced budget."

The Chancellor implied that the £1 billion for the BSE crisis would come out of the £2.5 billion reserves set aside in the last Budget. Mr Clarke admitted that the Government was borrowing more than it expected but insisted it had not lost control of public spending. He said: "I am determined to get borrowing down. My aim has always been to get it down to balance in the medium term. A Chancellor's life is full of worries, but a Chancellor's life has got to be based on policy commitments that keep you on course.

"We are borrowing more than I intended and I have conceded that all the way through. That lies behind the message I have given in my speeches.

"Those who believe if I took a penny off income tax we might just about have a photo-finish to the election, and with tuppence off we'd have a bit of a working majority and with threepence off we'd have a working majority, I think are treating the British public as idiots."

Name: The Daily Telegraph Date: 13/5/96 Author: By lan Mackinnon
Fans have a ball as pop rivals show they can play

HAD it been possible to script the event, the football teams of Britpop's biggest rivals, Blur and Oasis, would have battled through the tournament qualifiers and fought it out in the final.

As it was, their footballing skills were not up to it. Both were knocked out in the early stages without meeting in the six-a-side charity competition at Mile End Stadium, east London, yesterday.

But the tournament organisers hastily arranged a "special extra" match between the teams. So it was that, with 5,000 screaming girls urging the two sides on, Blur, after losing out to Oasis in the Brit Awards this year, turned the tables with a 2-0 victory.

Damon Albarn, Blur's singer and songwriter, was plainly overwhelmed by the victory and could only manage an incisive but factually correct: "We beat Oasis."

But for all the North-South rivalry generated by the music industry PR machines, the gritty fixture was a model of sportsmanship.

Albarn stepped up to the halfway line before the kick-off and shook hands with his Oasis opposite number, Liam Gallagher.

Blur took the lead shortly before half time, despite Oasis having the assistance of Robbie Williams, the former Take That singer. The interval was the cue for the kind of pitch invasion almost unknown these days in the professional game as scores of girls scaled the barriers and made for their idols.

With the kind of jinking runs and determination that would have done credit to Eric Cantona, they tried in vain to sidestep the numerous security guards.

One 16-year-old Michelle Lawler, even tried it topless, making a beeline for Gallagher before being apprehended by one of the bouncers just yards from her target.

Name: Times Date: 13/5/96 Author: BY QUENTIN LETTS IN NEW YORK AND HARVEY ELLIOTT
Crew may have died before jet plunged into swamp THE crew of an ageing DC9 airliner may have been dead or unconscious before their jet plunged into the Florida Everglades killing all 109 on board, including two British tourists.

Much of the debris had been sucked into the swamp before rescuers could reach the jet.

The pilot for the cut-price domestic airline Valujet had told air traffic controllers that the cockpit was filling with smoke minutes after he took off from Miami for Atlanta.

As he turned back towards the airport, witnesses say the 27-year-old aircraft made a series of irrational manoeuvres, banking sharply and flying at an angle of 75 degrees into the alligator-infested swamp. Rescuers gave up hope of finding survivors and were unable to locate anything more than fragments of the jet, which had recently suffered engine troubles. The two Britons were named as Roger and Devlin Loughney.

Teams trying to recover the aircraft's flight recorder, which had a radio beacon, were hampered by the muddy and inhospitable terrain where the jet crashed on Saturday, 30 minutes after take-off.

Attempts to build a road across the swamp were abandoned and rescuers were considering trying to drain the land to reach the site.

Investigators want to recover the bodies of the crew and passengers to establish whether they were wearing oxygen masks and if their lungs contained enough smoke to have caused them to black out. A fire could have been caused by an electrical fault.

The crash will raise serious doubts about the safety of old jets being used by cut-price airlines and could slow the development of similar services in Europe.

Name: Times Date: 13.5.96 Author: FROM QUENTIN LETTS IN NEW YORK
Doomed passengers bought cheap tickets for aircraft with history of engine trouble Jet disappears in deadly mud of the Everglades FLECKS of white wreckage and some blackened grass in the marshlands of Florida were virtually all there was to show yesterday after the nosedive crash of a DC9 jet that killed all 109 people aboard.

Emergency workers were perplexed and appalled by a crash which has left almost no remains. It appeared that ValuJet Flight 592 either exploded into smithereens when it hit the ground on Saturday afternoon or was sucked below the mud and waters of the treacherous Everglades. A few shards of fuselage measuring no more than six feet were all that was left of the aircraft.

Witnesses said the plane plummeted at a 75 degree angle. "It was terrible. Nothing could have survived that," said Daniel Muelhaupt, a local flying instructor who had been giving a lesson. "I thought it was doing a manoeuvre but it didn't pull up and, wham!" Mr Muelhaupt flew to the scene of the crash and his pupil Rick DeLisle used field glasses to search for survivors, but saw no one.

The crash was also watched by an angler, Chris Osceola. "I said, 'It's gonna crash' and then, boom!" he said. The impact threw up a massive, mushroom-shaped cloud of mud, smoke and spray.

A US Coast Guard helicopter en route from an air show to Miami was in the vicinity and flew at once to the crash site. Lieutenant-Commander Mark Feldman said: "We were really surprised at the lack of debris. We were told it was a DC9, but from what we saw we simply could not believe it. There was some clothing, nothing else, and nothing we could do."

The 27-year-old jet, owned by the discount airline ValuJet, had a recent history of engine troubles. Since 1994 it had returned to airports seven times after taking off, reporting mechanical snags such as oil leaks and hydraulic pump failures. Last year it made an emergency landing at Memphis, Tennessee, because of a sudden loss of cabin pressure.

Soon after taking off from Miami the pilot reported smoke in the cabin. The plane vanished from radar screens at 2.25pm, 30 minutes after it left for Atlanta, Georgia.

Salvage teams were frustrated by the muddy terrain. The Everglades wetlands cover some 5,000 square miles of the land west of Miami and many parts are inaccessible. By yesterday afternoon workers had still to retrieve the DC9's "black box" flight recorder, which was equipped with a radio beacon. Bulldozers started to beat a path to the crash site to allow heavy-lifting machinery a chance to reach the area, but the road-building exercise had to be called off because of the marshiness of the land.

In many places the water was no more than three feet deep but the mud underfoot was thick and glutinous and threatened to suck men and machines under.

Luis Fernandez, a rescue worker, said: "There were a lot of alligators and snakes in there and a lot of the debris is settling into the muck." He and other emergency workers were distressed when they came across a family photograph album and baby clothes. "We're all human and this is not easy on us," he said.

The passenger list for flight 592 showed that Rodney Culver, a running back with the San Diego Chargers American football team, had been among those on board.

The luckiest man in the episode was Terry Huckabee, an Atlanta businessman who narrowly missed the flight after arriving late at the ticket counter.

At Atlanta airport, relations of those who had made it on to the flight were taken to a private room after news of the crash was announced on the public address. Counsellors were on hand to comfort the bereaved. One man was so overcome that he collapsed, dropping the large bouquet of carnations he had bought to greet a loved one.

President Clinton offered his condolences to the victims' families from a White House still bruised by the death in an air crash of Ron Brown, the Commerce Secretary. "All Americans join Hillary and me in offering our hopes and prayers to the families and friends of those aboard the ValuJet," he said in a statement.

In January another of ValuJet's ageing DC9s hit a snow drift at Dulles airport in Washington while a third plane became stuck in mud at Atlanta airport. In February a ValuJet aeroplane left the runway in Savannah, Georgia, and in March an emergency chute was activated on a ValuJet in Tampa, Florida. Safety experts are convinced the report of smoke in the cockpit of the DC9 is consistent with the crew becoming incapacitated by breathing toxic smoke before the crash. A number of in-flight electrical fires, especially in older aircraft with worn wiring, so worried pilots from other airlines that they urged McDonnell Douglas to re-write the plane's manual on how to deal with such an emergency. Normally pilots would put on oxygen masks immediately they smelt the smoke. But if they were distracted or had some problem with the equipment they may not have had time to do so.

Name: Times Date: 13/5/96 Author: Quentin Letts
Head of 'peanut' airline insists his budget policy is no threat to safety VALUJET's chief executive mounted a valiant attempt yesterday to save the low-budget airline that in three years has proved such a remarkable success.

Lewis Jordan, dressed in a dark suit, portrayed a very different image from the informality of ValuJet flights. He claimed that cost-paring on the increasing number of "peanut" airlines - so called because that is the extent of in-flight catering - does not compromise safety. However, the crash raised doubts about the wisdom of flying with an airline whose pilots, denied the customary in-flight sustenance, take fast food into the cockpit and whose cabin attendants conduct frenetic, in-flight quizzes.

"I don't see any connection between ValuJet's growth and this tragic accident," said Mr Jordan, whose fleet of second-hand airliners has risen from two to 50 in three years and whose passenger turnover, based on a low-fare, no-frills service, has increased by 66 per cent in the past year. "The DC9, even at this age, is one of the safest jets flying today. There is no way to explain why we have had such a tragedy."

In March, however, the Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) noted in a memorandum that investigators had found "a significant decrease in the experience level of new pilots being hired by ValuJet as well as other positions such as mechanics, dispatchers, etc". Last summer, after fire destroyed a ValuJet DC9 at Atlanta airport, the FAA announced special inspections of aircraft Mr Jordan had bought cheaply in Turkey.

Anthony Broderick, regulation chief for the FAA, said: "The basic results are that there are no significant safety deficiencies at ValuJet. We did find areas where they could improve. So far, every one of our suggestions has been taken to heart and adapted very quickly by ValuJet."

Soon after the crash, Mr Jordan said: "ValuJet's reputation for controlling costs should not be misunderstood. The company willingly and enthusiastically spends whatever is appropriate to achieve the highest levels of safety. At this point we have no information that tells us anything about this crash that was preventable."

ValuJet flies to 26 cities in America and is the most successful of the "peanut" airlines characterised by stewardesses in mufti and captains who crack bad jokes over the intercom. Its rapid growth has made it a darling of Wall Street and Mr Jordan, with his cheap fares and no-booking ticket policies, has been hailed as a populist and an innovator.

Last year his airline reported a $67 million (£44.5m) profit on sales of $367.8 million (£245m). Other airlines have taken notice and thought about emulating Mr Jordan's methods. The Florida crash is certain to make passengers question the entire concept.

Name: Times Date: 13/5/96 Author: BY ROBIN YOUNG
Tricolour welcome for United's hero AT LEAST 100,000 Manchester United fans lined the victorious team's route through the south of the city yesterday as they brought home the FA Cup. French Tricolours in tribute to Eric Cantona's 85th-minute goal outnumbered banners in the red, white and black of United.

Flag sellers did a roaring trade and the top-selling items, even at £5 each, were flags proclaiming "Eric the King". The crowd was 20 deep in places, and fans climbed trees, lampposts and bus shelters to get a view. Flag-waving fans in carnival mood began lining the route, which took the team bus within a few hundred yards of the United ground, several hours before the victory parade began.

Children with their faces painted red and white perched on their fathers' shoulders and police outriders were required to clear a path for the team's open-topped bus.

Cantona was the name on everyone's lips but there was acclaim too for Alex Ferguson and his achievement in bringing Manchester United three League championships in four seasons and a record ninth victory in the FA Cup. The club's feat of achieving the double of the FA Cup and the League for a second time is unprecedented.

Today Wembley stadium officials and the Football Association will be studying video footage of incidents which marred the presentation of the Cup, when Liverpool supporters appeared to spit at Cantona and throw a punch at Ferguson.

Name: Times Date: 13/5/96 Author: BY STEPHEN FARRELL
Police team tests Euro 96 tactics on Cup Final fans POLICE declared themselves satisfied yesterday with the huge operation mounted to control 79,000 fans at the FA Cup Final on Saturday - a dress rehearsal for Euro 96 next month. There were 70 arrests for public order offences and 125 minor injuries.

As 900 officers from four forces, determined to head off trouble, patrolled the streets and stations around Wembley, experts put the finishing touches to a behind-the-scenes intelligence effort aimed at keeping British and foreign hooligans under control.

Intelligence officers from Liverpool and Manchester mingled with fans at the stadium and in north London, pointing out troublemakers. State-of-the-art digital camera and computer technology enables the "spotters" to flash pictures and information about suspected hooligans to co-ordinating centres.

Police chiefs face a much more difficult task during the European championship, controlling fans from 16 nations at 31 matches around Britain. They have been planning the security operation for 15 months. More than 10,000 officers are expected to be involved during the three weeks of the competition. In London, 1,000 officers will be covering each of the six games at Wembley. Teams of spotters from participating nations will be drafted in to point out known thugs among the continental fans.

However, operations will be hampered by data protection legislation that restricts the information European countries can pass on. For example, Dutch police are forbidden to supply British officers with names or pictures of Dutch citizens they believe may cause trouble.

Chief Inspector Lex Heys of the Dutch football vandalism unit in Utrecht said: "Our Government has a blacklist of hooligans over the last five years and we have a database on them, but we are not allowed to share it under our data protection legislation."

Similar restrictions apply in Germany and Switzerland. But senior officers are playing down their impact. "Hopefully they will not cause us too much of a problem because we have invited their spotters over here and they will be on the streets," Detective Chief Inspector Peter Goulding of the Met's Euro Intelligence Unit said.

"On Saturday we were working alongside spotters from the Greater Manchester and Merseyside forces looking for the fans likely to cause trouble on Saturday evening, and we were successful in finding both groups and dealing with them. That is the way we will be working with our European colleagues."

The fans had been divided well before reaching Wembley. Manchester United supporters' coaches were directed along the M6 and M1 and Liverpool coaches along the M6 and M40.

In charge of policing at the stadium and its grounds was Chief Superintendent Linda Newham. It was a vital dry run for the 48-year-old Match Commander, who is Divisional Commander at Tottenham and will be in charge at Wembley matches during Euro 96.

She arrived at 8am and set about co-ordinating the uniformed, mounted and dog teams. After the match she stood on the balcony beneath the twin towers with a radio and mobile telephone, drawing attention to clusters of fans posing potential problems.

She insists that Euro 96 will not be an excuse to treat every fan as a potential hooligan. "We have got to remember the vast majority of them will be coming to enjoy football."

Name: Times Date: 13/5/96 Author: BY JOE JOSEPH
Pop idols indulge their fantasy in charity football festival FOR those to whom the names Damon, Jarvis and Liam mean nothing, it was as if the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, the Who, and Gerry and the Pacemakers were all playing football together on a spring Sunday in 1965.

Some of the biggest names in music, including Oasis's Liam Gallagher, Blur's Damon Albarn and Jarvis Cocker of Pulp turned up at a sports stadium in east London yesterday to play soccer for charity - and at the unusually early hour of 10.30am.

The Mile End Stadium was like Loaded magazine made flesh: just lads, footie, music, babes and booze. Not so much Men Behaving Badly, maybe, as Men Playing Football Badly.

Albarn and Gallagher even made a show of walking hand-in-hand on to the pitch, sparking speculation of a Britpop reconciliation. But the way each of them rushed off to sign autographs for the thousands of screaming teenage spectators whenever the other was in danger of hogging the limelight suggested that their gamesmanship might have been as assiduous off the field as on.

Liam Gallagher is frontman to one of the world's biggest-selling bands. Oasis's following has swelled so dramatically that it has been forced to add a second autumn concert at Knebworth after selling out the first date within hours and Gallagher milked the indulgence teen girls give to their hero of the moment.

In the absence of his brother and fellow Oasis-member Noel, Liam took on the full family responsibility of clowning; of teasing and snubbing the crowd; of whipping the cap from a St John Ambulanceman; of drinking beer and goofing around the pitch. He even managed to score a goal.

But while Oasis and Blur might rule the pop charts, they failed to make as big a success of Britsoc as that have of Britpop. Both bands - who requested that they should not face each other in the early rounds of the six-a-side contest for fear of inciting brawls among their rival fans - made a selfless contribution to law and order by both getting knocked out in the first round of the tournament, organised in aid of the Nordoff-Robbins Music Therapy Centre.

Humiliatingly for Oasis, they were sent packing by Pulp after a jet-lagged Jarvis ("I came back from holiday in Hawaii yesterday") came off the substitutes' bench at half-time, wearing a No 5 shirt. Cocker, looking like the spindly schoolboy who always gets picked last for any team, loped around the pitch like a man whose joints had not been securely bolted together. But his enthusiasm for the sport of common people made up for his lack of ball control.

Luckily, most band members kept their deepest thoughts on victory and defeat to themselves, since those that did speak made most footballers sound like Wittgenstein. Robbie Williams, formerly of Take That, made sure that he was never knowingly underquoted and seemed so desperate for pre-teen adulation that he visited different batches of screaming girls every seven minutes.

Albarn, who was the sole band member on his team, said: "The rest of the band aren't fit enough. They are not up to exercise."

Name: the Observer Date: 12/5/96 Author: David Ross, London Author: Mary Holland, Dublin Author: Eamonn Mallie, Belfast
New signs of IRA ceasefire, say security chiefs

THE IRA leadership is moving towards a ceasefire before the start of all-party talks on Northern Ireland on 10 June, according to intelligence assessments in London, Dublin and Belfast. In marked contrast to the bleak mood in security circles since the ceasefire was blown to smithereens at London's Docklands last February police and intelligence officers were beginning to express cautious optimism last week about the prospects for a new cessation.

This was tempered by fears that it may be preceded by a final attack in Britain, and gloom from some senior Republican sources about the real difficulties in bringing the IRA on board. One source said the fact that the current campaign has been so sporadic, as well as being confined to the mainland rather than in Northern Ireland, made it less likely.

A security source said: 'The next few weeks are going to be a period of intense political activity, and we think they want to be part of it. The IRA knows it cannot participate if it does not call a ceasefire, and if it does not call a ceasefire, it has nothing potentially to gain. Gerry Adams and those who advocate a primarily political strategy are beginning to recover some of their lost influence.'

Speaking to the Northern Ireland annual meeting of Sinn Fein in Belfast yesterday, Mr Adams gave no hint that he thought a ceasefire might be imminent.

He said it was unrealistic to expect the 'chasm of distrust' between Sinn Fein and the Government to be easily bridged, while the talks could only succeed if they started from the basis that 'nothing is agreed until everything is agreed'.

Later he told the Observer that London's decision last week to allow the convicted terrorist Patrick Kelly to be moved to a jail in the Republic to be near his family, because he is dying of cancer, was 'immaterial' in increasing the chances of a ceasefire.

Kelly was expected to be moved yesterday but the Home Office held up his transfer, saying it had not received the necessary documents.

The political pressure on the republican leadership is intense and rising. One of Sinn Fein's strongest supporters in the United States Congress warned yesterday that the American government would not get involved in the peace process again until there was another ceasefire.

Congressman Peter King described the end of the ceasefire as a 'tragic mistake' and said Sinn Fein would get little if any support in the US until it was reinstated.

Later the Irish Social Welfare Minister, Proinsias de Rossa, added to the pressure, calling on the IRA to allow Sinn Fein to take part in the June talks by halting the violence. 'Sinn Fein has a case to make and a constituency to represent. The only obstacle to the party's full participation in negotiations is IRA violence - nothing more,' he said.

John Major had a long telephone conversation with John Bruton the Irish Prime Minister, last Wednesday. Among the proposals they discussed was asking George Mitchell the former US senator who chaired the commission on decommissioning terrorist weapons, to return to Northern Ireland.

Last night Mr Adams said he would welcome such a move. While Britain could not pretend to be neutral or objective, Mr Mitchell was regarded by all sides as an experienced, impartial arbitrator, he said.

Name: the Obverser Date: 13/5/96 Author: Ben Laurance and William Keegan
Chancellor fights Right on welfare Clarke refuses to be bounced into tax cuts and attacks Brown on child benefit reform

KENNETH CLARKE, the Chancellor of the Exchequer, has delivered a defiant message to restless Tory backbenchers, portraying himself as a staunch defender of the welfare state who refuses to make deep cuts in benefits to finance reductions in income tax.

In an interview with the Observer, Mr Clarke reiterated his refusal to compromise in the face of attacks from the Tory Right over Europe, public spending and taxation.

He also placed himself to the left of Shadow Chancellor Gordon Brown over the contentious issue of child benefit.

And Mr Clarke admitted that he had set highly visible and public targets for the public sector borrowing requirement (PSBR) over the past three years in order to give a rationale for resisting the clamour for tax cuts.

His defence of child benefit for 16 to 18-year-olds - which Mr Brown is keen to cut in order to finance extra training - will fuel the bitter dispute within the Labour Party over the issue.

'I do find child benefit for 16 to 18-year-olds the most extraordinary place to go to finance things that are supposed to be helping youth training,' said Mr Clarke. 'Just to take away child benefit for that age, with nothing proposed to replace it, hits the average person with teenage children who decide to stay on in education.'

Speaking at 11 Downing Street, the Chancellor suggested a cautious approach to the reform of social security. 'The whole country is now seized with the feeling that the welfare state has to be reformed in some way to meet modern needs, and be made affordable,' he said. 'I do find that interesting, but I don't think we should be panicked into doing things which would damage the welfare state. A modern European state requires a strong welfare state to increase people's willingness to accept change.'

Mr Clarke admitted that he intended to use his public emphasis on the need to cut the PSBR (the gap between what the Government spends and what it receives) to fend off Tory right-wingers' calls for big pre-election tax cuts.

'Most of the constraints I have put upon myself deliberately,' he said. 'I have used my own rhetoric to put constraints on myself and to try to put constraints on He said he had 'gone in for much more openness, precisely to put myself in a bit of a straitjacket. The more open you are about it, the more you protect yourself from the pressures of people saying, come on, relax a bit.'

Mr Clarke spelt out the thinking behind his warning, delivered at the Tories' Scottish conference last week, that tax cuts cannot be relied on to buy votes. 'Those who believe if I took a penny off income tax we might just about have a photo-finish to the election, and with tuppence off we'd have a bit of a working majority and with threepence off we'd have a working majority, I think are treating the British public as idiots.'

Mr Clarke is refusing to compromise his position on the Left of the Conservative Party. He appears to be giving no ground - either to the rightwingers led by John Redwood who believe that spending should be slashed in order to make room for big cuts in income tax or to those on the populist Right who are keen to see tax cuts even if the Government's finances spiral further into the red. Indeed, he is raising the stakes.

'We must ensure that everybody has the care they require without taking away incentives from people who have made provision for themselves.

'There's a lot more to be done to make sure we have a social security system that is a proper safety net, has proper incentives to personal responsibility, and is affordable. I do object to the American-type New Right who wish to sweep half of it away,' said the Chancellor. 'The extremes of Euroscepticism and Reaganomics are two of the major dangers facing right-of-centre British politics.'

Name: the Observer Date: 13/5/96 Author: David Rose
Russia's top ten spies in Britain on secret M15 list

SECURITY chiefs in M15 have drafted a list of the 10 most damaging Russian spies in Britain. They would have been deported immediately if President Boris Yeltsin had carried out his threat last week to expel nine Britons from Moscow.

Whitehall sources last night disclosed that the secret list - including details of the Russians' names, addresses, contacts and areas of interest, and which was passed to Ministers - played a crucial role in defusing the diplomatic row triggered when the Russians found a British spy radioing his controller in London.

'It was made unmistakably clear that the Russians faced a possible tit-for-tat round of expulsions in which their interests stood to be damaged much more than ours,' one source said. 'They were made aware that our intelligence on Russian espionage in Britain is of high quality.'

In a booklet published last month, M15 revealed that after a reduction in activity following the end of the Cold War, the Russian SVR - the successor to the KGB - had 'renewed its efforts to post intelligence officers to London'. Moreover, the military intelligence GRU - which has remained largely untouched by the changes of the past five years - has maintained roughly the same presence in Britain throughout.

It is understood that the number of SVR officers in Britain is now as great, or even greater, than in the Brezhnev era. Sources will not be drawn on the precise level of the threat.

Some of the Russians on last week's list are using the classic spy's cover of embassy status. However, the fall of Communism has made it much easier for Russians to enter Britain in a variety of academic, business and even touristic guises, and to move about in the country much more freely.

Some of the most active intelligence operatives are now believed to come to Britain for short, regular visits, rather than set up permanent residence.

Name: the Observer Date: 12/5/96 Author: Richard Brookes, Media Editor
Bobby Sands film opens old wounds

THE FIRST rumblings of discontent are being heard over a film about IRA humger striker Bobby Sands which receives its premiere today at the Cannes Film Festival.

Some Mother's Son has been made by a director who has himself been in jail for terrorist offences and will upset both the political establishment and parts of the Irish republican movement.

The film, which stars John Lynch as Sands - who died in the Maze prison during the 1981 hunger strike - will inevitably be the festival's most politically controversial film. It graphically recreates the 'dirty protest' which began in the Maze in 1979.

Director Terry George, a former member of the Irish Republican Socialist Party, the political wing of the Irish National Liberation Army, served three years from 1975 for possession of arms. He accepts his film will 'create hoopla'. 'Bobby Sands was a victim of British government action in Northern Ireland,' he says. His film projects government Ministers and officials as cruel and unbending, and suggests Mrs Thatcher thought the prisoners deserved to die.

Sands's sister, Marcella, has expressed concern about the film and some of the families of the other dead hunger-strikers have said it exploits a tragedy for financial gain.

'We deliberately did not seek the approval of the families,' said George, who agreed some nationalists questioned whether the sacrifice was worthwhile. 'The point of the hunger strike is still a very painful and perhaps unanswered question.'

Some Mother's Son mixes fact and fiction, but the filmmakers say it is historically accurate. Sands's story is based on what happened to him but the portrayals of other prisoners in the H-Block where he was a commander are composites. So, too, are the two mothers, one played by Helen Mirren as a middle-class widow who is shaken out of her comfortable existence when her well-educated son is imprisoned, and the other by Fionnula Flanagan.

The film highlights Mrs Thatcher's role by juxtaposing TV footage and radio interviews with the story line. The then Prime Minister is shown on the steps of 10 Downing Street after her first general election victory, quoting St Francis of Assisi: 'Where there is discord may we bring harmony.' Later she calls the hunger-strikers, who regarded themselves as political prisoners, 'purely criminals'.

Bobby Sands 'was an icon', says producer Arthur Lappin, who also made In The Name Of The Father, on which George was co-writer.

While dying in prison in 1981, Sands received an envoy from the Pope, and more than 100,000 people attended his funeral.

In the film, the Helen Mirren character tells MPs that Sands's majority is far larger than Mrs Thatcher's.

Name: the Observer Date: 12/5/96 Author: Patrick Brogan, Washington
Over 100 feared dead in Florida air crash

ALL 109 people on board a DC-9 aircraft were feared killed last night after it crashed and exploded in the swampy Everglades, near Miami. Aviation officials said it was unlikely there were any survivors.

The Federal Aviation Administration said the pilot of Valujet flight 592 reported smoke in the cockpit soon after take-off from Miami's international airport, bound for Atlanta. The plane was in the air for only eight minutes before it crashed as it attempted to return to Miami. Its full fuel tanks exploded, scattering debris and bodies.

Helicopters from local television stations filmed a huge dark stain upon the swamp scattered with pieces of metal.

'When it hit the ground, the water and dirt flew up,' Daniel Muelhaupt, a private pilot who saw the crash, told CNN. 'The wreckage was like if you take your garbage and just throw it on the ground.' Muelhaupt said he called air control and circled the spot until the first helicopters arrived.

Rescue teams were last night gathering on dry land half a mile away, waiting for equipment to carry them into the swamp. The water is waist-deep across most of the site.

ValuJet, a no-frills, low fare airline based in Atlanta, was founded in 1993. It is already the subject of a safety review by the FAA after suffering a number of incidents, including a fire on an airliner last June. The FAA had also ordered a special inspection of second-hand engines the airline bought in Turkey.

On Christmas Eve in 1972, an Eastern Airlines passenger flight crashed into the Everglades, killing half of those aboard. Some survivors were attacked by crocodiles.

Author: Michael Caine Title: What's it all about? Date: 1992 Publisher: Century B Michael Caine (first person narrator) C Rene Clement G Harry Salzman J "the powers that be" (in filmmaking) K Johnny Morris L Spanish policeman M Brigitte Bardot O Eric Sykes U Sean Connery X unknown Y "the British" [troops in the film 'Play Dirty']
25 Bardot tries it on I have been in over seventy-three films in thirty years and by the time you read this it will probably be seventy-six. People often criticise me for not being discriminating enough and even for working so hard. Why bother? As far as discrimination is concerned I have a definite standard by which I choose films: I choose the best one available at the time I need one. Of course this has often led me down dubious artistic paths, but even they are not without their advantages. It is much more difficult to act well in a bad film with a bad director than in any other type of movie and it gives you great experience in taking care of yourself. It also means that when a good script does turn up you're ready for it. It's not unlike athletes in training who will practise running on sand so they find it easy to run on a solid track in competition. Plus of course there's the money. You get paid the same for a bad film as you do for a good one- because no one knows for sure if the bad film is going to be bad or the good film is going to be good until the premiere. You can wind up, as I do when a good role comes along, absolutely prepared, having worked right up to date, or you can sit there waiting for it for five years, scared

I, of course, don't have the constraints of the great male Hollywood stars who will not play certain roles for fear of causing a lack of sympathy or letting down their fans. I cannot imagine a Robert Redford, Paul Newman or Clint Eastwood playing a transvestite killer as I did in Dressed to Kill or an overt homosexual as I did in Deathtrap. The main advantage that a foreign actor has in Hollywood is to play the flawed characters that the American stars don't want. The last three Best Actor Academy Awards have been won by British stars: Daniel Day Lewis as a horribly deformed man in My Left Foot, Jeremy Irons as a man on trial for the alleged attempted murder of his wife in Reversal of Fortune, and Anthony Hopkins, in 1992, who played Hannibal Lecter the homicidal cannibal in The Silence of the Lambs. Often nice guys finish last.

I had now settled into a period where I had no social life at all, but just went from one film to another, always with the best of intentions but mainly with that intense, overriding desire to make a lot of money before it all came to an end, which I expected it to do on an almost weekly basis.

The moment that I finished Deadfall in the studio in London, I was on a plane back to Spain to start another film, a Harry Saltzman production - a war film called Play Dirty. It was to be directed by the great French director René Clement. The script was reasonable and it had a good plot: a group of Israeli commandos are sent out in the desert war to blow up the German fuel dumps, but the British Army have got there first and they want the fuel for themselves. The Israelis are on radio silence so the British inform the Germans that they are coming in order to prevent them from destroying the fuel. On the surface it is a good action story, based on fact, with a moral to it and some controversy. So what could possibly go wrong? The short answer is - everything. Play Dirty is a prime example of how you can start out with a good story and the very best of intentions and yet get gradually worn down into mediocrity.

The moment that I signed to do the film, René Clément had a row with Harry and left the film. There was a much-vaunted re-write of the script, which in my opinion was not as good as the original, but we used it anyway. The powers that be always use the last script in film-making no matter how bad it is because they have to justify the additional expense to their financiers and dare not admit they have made a mistake. René Clément was replaced by André de Toth with whom I had worked briefly when young in A Foxhole in Cairo. André came on to the picture so late that even he had no time to do his best work.

Once again I wound up in a film where the backstage action so to speak was rather more interesting than the film itself, but even that started off badly.

Play Dirty was due to be shot in a town called Almeria in southern Spain, and as there was no airport there I had to fly to Madrid and then take a train. This did not worry me unduly as I had visions of a very pleasant trip through the Spanish countryside in the comfort of a first-class carriage. The train, however, turned out to be a very ramshackle

affair with no first-class compartments, only wooden seats - and no dining car. I was travelling with Johnny Morris, my stand-in and companion, and our first worry was food. We had been told that the journey took eight hours but no one had warned us that there would be no food available. The train itself was excruciatingly slow, and as a journey into the truly futile, we went the scenic route - at night!

Our trip finally terminated at Almeria and we hailed a cab to the hotel, only to receive the unkindest cut of all. A policeman stopped our vehicle and we sat and waited. After about five minutes I enquired what the hold-up was. Generalissimo Franco was coming, it appeared and all roads were to be closed. Franco was the Fascist Dictator of Spain at the time. We sat there for two hours in a temperature of ninety degrees with no air conditioning and sweated away what little liquid there was left in our dry frames after a nightlong bout with diarrhoea after buying dodgy snacks. Finally Franco came zooming past in a cloud of dust and we were allowed on our way. As we passed the policeman I asked him what Franco was doing down here. 'He is opening the new Almeria airport,' he said with pride.

Once in our rooms which, though a little spartan were very comfortable and clean with a nice view of the town, we unpacked, showered and descended to the lobby to find the action but there was none. Almeria at this time was the centre of Italian 'Spaghetti Western' film-making since it had been discovered by Sergio Leone for his The Good, the Bad and the Ugly series. It had also been acquired by the desert-war film group, such as ourselves, when David Lean had shot the train-crash sequence in Lawrence of Arabia here. What nobody had told us was that there were only four sand-dunes - and if you did a high crane shot you had an almost immediate picture of the sea with the crowded beaches of the town of Almeria. We knew there were at least two Spaghetti Westerns being made there currently plus Sean Connery was also filming a western called Shalako.

Despite all this activity, it was now just after lunch and everybody was obviously still out working so the huge lobby of the hotel was empty. Johnny and I ordered a couple of ice-cold beers and took them into a shady corner and sat and had a chat. Or to put it another way, I sat and bemoaned the fact for half an hour that there were no women around and I was here for twelve long weeks. Johnny was happily married and not a great source of sympathy as is the way of married men faced with the enforced celibacy of bachelors. As I was droning on about my fate, three shadows fell across our table. We looked up and I

thought I must be dreaming. Smiling down at us in her most seductive manner was Brigitte Bardot, and standing on either side of her were two other women, almost as attractive.

''Allo, Makell. We 'ave bin wetting fur yeww.' This last word pursed her already famous and naturally pouting lips into an even deeper moue and my eyes became hypnotically fixed on them as I rose to my feet, knocking over the coffee table on which our two beers stood in a vain attempt to muster an immediate air of worldly sophistication and savoir faire. Everyone laughed at this silly misfortune except myself as I felt my face burning with humiliation.

'Don't worry about zat,' said Brigitte airily. 'I 'ave a car outside and we will all go to my 'otel fur a drink.' Johnny and I followed this little group across the vast lobby, both of us struck dumb by what was happening as we weaved our way through a sea of empty chairs like rats following the Pied Piper.

I still had not spoken and was not yet prepared to try. I just could not believe that this was happening to us. Not only was my speech affected, but my walking started to go awry. I found myself suddenly swinging my left arm forward in time with my left leg and the same with the right. I hadn't even done this when I was learning to march in the army.

As we walked Brigitte introduced us to her two friends. The tall dark one was her Venezuelan secretary Gloria and the smaller fair-haired one was her French stand-in Monique. As a trio, she then informed us, they were known as Bri Bri, Mo Mo and Glo Glo. Outside the hotel we got into her white Rolls Royce which was driven by a black chauffeur. Obviously not a girl to do things by halves, I thought - correctly, as it turned out.

The first question that I managed to blurt out of a clogged throat as we glided quietly along the coast road to her beach-side hotel, was, 'How did you know that we were coming today?'

'Sean told me,' she replied. It was then I remembered that she was starring opposite Sean Connery in Shalako.

On our arrival at the hotel we were taken straight up to her suite overlooking the sea and plied with drinks and room service. I sat there trying to keep up my end of the conversation as best as one can on the verge of a nervous breakdown. My mind was racing. What was going on? Could it be that Brigitte Bardot actually fancied me? Could I be that lucky? The answer was unfortunately no. It was her secretary Gloria who fancied me, and Bardot was setting it up for her. I was disappointed to say the least, for although Gloria was gorgeous, I had this intuition that here was the sort of girl who, having given herself, would be hard to persuade to take herself back. So I resisted all advances on this front and was also a little incensed by a feeling of snobbery, rare for me, that I had been sent for by Brigitte to screw her staff.

I hung around all during the shooting of the picture in the hope that Bardot would change her mind, but I soon found out that her taste ran to extremely beautiful dark Spanish boys, who all seemed to be in their late teens. I never heard any of them speak to anybody, including her, they just used to frolic behind her like energetic little puppies with their barks removed. Try as I might, and I did, I could not squeeze myself into this category. So I gave up all together and retired from her sphere of influence, which was quite wide down there.

The last time I ever saw Bardot was at the party for the end of Shalako. I was invited by Sean but sat deliberately out of the limelight with my friend the English comedian Eric Sykes, who was also in the picture. When Bardot came in Eric started to make me laugh. 'She is in love with me,' he whispered, 'and she can't stand it. Watch her as she goes by,' he hissed, as she approached our table. 'She'll pretend and just ignore me,' which is what she did. She walked straight past without even looking at us. 'I told you,' he said excitedly. 'She's trying to fight it- she's ignored me since the first day of shooting.'

By now I was in hysterics and Bardot noticed this and probably thought I was laughing at her. I went back to my conversation with Eric and we were just deciding to leave when a stale Spanish loaf hit me on the side of the head. I looked up and Bardot was grinning as she dusted breadcrumbs from her hands. I smiled through the pain in my head and left, flicking crumbs off my shoulder. That was the end of our relationship.

Title: On the Smell of an Oily Rag Author: John Cherrington Date: First published 1979, First paperback edition 1993 Publisher: Farming Press Books B John Cherrington (first person narrator) C wireless operator on the Harpathiani G John's father J one of John's sons K the traditional dairy farmers L P G Holder M John's mother O most landlords U Ronie's mother W the crew of the Harpathiani X unknown Y Tom Coles
7. Back in England Living in the depths of the Argentine I had not realised the full effects of the depression which had really begun to bite by 1932. But on my passage back to London I soon found out. The ship was the Harpathiani, of about 8,000 tons on which I had a passage for l0s (50p) a day, all found, and to feed with the officers. I shared a cabin with another refugee from the Argentine. The crew, with the exception of three Greek firemen, were all certificated officers or engineers unable to get a ship. The wireless operator, forbidden to send a message for economy reasons, told me that the only communication he received on the voyage, was one cutting his monthly pay from £8 l0s to £8.00 and he was married with three children.

Most of these men found their skills were needed in the war a few years later, and paid dearly for them in life and injury. But they were pretty depressed at the time, with no assurance that they would get another ship when they were signed off after this trip. We played poker for matches - no one had any money - from Buenos Aires to Rotterdam, and there was plenty of acrimony over this. The crew ran a bridge school and thought themselves to be definitely superior to the officers, which they probably were in education.

There was no refrigeration, and once the ice box ran out we were on salt pork and beef, ship's biscuits and dried vegetables. This meant that we were made to drink Board of Trade lime juice every day to ward off scurvy. This entailed lining up on deck under the eye of the First Mate. It was completely unsweetened, and I still get a dry sensation of the mouth when I think of it. Having once had scurvy, I did not complain.

On reaching home in 1932, I found the slump had really taken root. There were about 3,000,000 unemployed and farming was in the depths of the inter-war Depression. However, the news from New Zealand was that things there were even worse, with the prices still just about half what they were in England at the time.

Nevertheless the farming depression needs some qualification. Those farmers who suffered most were in the arable districts of eastern and southern England. Again they were, in the main, those who had gone into farming since the war and who had seen their capital quartered in the last decade. If they had been using their own money they were not too badly off, except that they were practically insolvent. Those unfortunates who had borrowed to get established were in a very bad way.

For example, a man who had purchased a herd of cows in 1920 for £80 a head would find that they were worth no more than £20 a head by 1931. Almost every other farming asset had depreciated in the same way. The reason why the arable farmers suffered most was that grain prices collapsed almost completely and the cycle of arable farming is, unlike dairying, a long one, lasting at least a year or 18 months. Even when milk prices were bad they brought in a cheque every month as long as the cows were milked. The arable farms which survived the Depression were those which had the facilities for dairying, a hen unit or pigs.

I should be more specific about this. The arable farms which really suffered were those on poor land away from the sugar-beet factories, which had been set up in the 1920s, and which were unsuitable for growing potatoes and other higher value crops. The derelict land to be seen in many parts of the south was the result of these conditions and much of it remained untouched until the war broke out in 1939. But little of it was really good land of natural fertility. Even in the depths of the slump, it was not easy to buy what one would call a good farm; the owners or tenants of these managed to carry on somehow.

My own prospects at the time were not particularly good. I still had the £500 I had started out with and about £100 besides which I had managed to save in the last four years by the exercise of incredible meanness. My father offered to lend me £3,000 more when I decided I should make a start, and advised me to get some more experience while I was looking round.

I certainly needed the experience. My skills of shepherding and looking after cattle on the New Zealand and Argentine pattern were hardly suited to the small farms and careful husbandry of England. The one essential thing I had learnt in my travels, which stood me in good stead in later years, was that success in farming lies in knowing not so much what to do to get the right results, but rather how little one could do and still get away with it.

In many ways this is a negative approach. But in hard times it is often the only way to safety. The trouble is that, once learnt, it is impossible to forget, and I have drilled the need for this attitude into my sons so well that one of them accused me the other day of having brought him up to be too mean.

I had been impressed, perhaps overimpressed, by Farmer's Glory, in which the author had succeeded in overcoming the slump by milking his cows in an open-air shed on the downlands of Wiltshire. The system he used had been invented by Arthur Hosier who farmed on the Downs above the Pewsey Vale. Its method was as follows. Instead of having good cows in rich meadows tied by the neck in stalls for most of the winter and milked by hand, Hosier's way was to milk large numbers of very cheap Irish heifers on poor downland, feeding them with grass, hay and cheap imported feeding stuffs. After a few years of this sort of farming, the pastures improved from the manure and treading and the consequent increase in fertility allowed for heavier and heavier stocking.

Hosier found that, by this means, he could cheapen his costs and thrive at a time when many dairy farmers on better land were having a hard time. The Irish heifers, mainly from the poor hills of County Cork, improved out of all knowledge. After two or three years they grew much bigger, and it became the usual practice to sell them after three calves to be kept on the more traditional dairy lands. This system avoided the perils of depreciation to some extent; herds were always kept young, and the farmers were not forced to rear their own replacements.

Hosier, who was a most practical inventive genius, produced many other implements and ideas to foster dairying in the Depression and established a factory on his own farm for making them. Many of his outdoor bails, as they were called, were used on suitable land and today there are still some to be seen in Wiltshire.

However the system was still looked down on by the traditional dairy farmers, especially those on heavy wet land where it would have been impossible to winter the cattle out of doors. This was not because they would have come to any harm in bad weather, all farm animals are well insulated, but because the pastures would have been destroyed by their hooves.

My old mentor, P. G. Holder, had asked me to go and see him on my return. I found that he had now directed his enthusiasm to large-scale dairying and was planning to erect a cowshed for 288 cows: would I go into partnership with him. My parents thought this a good idea, just the thing for a young man to be associated with a rich and established one. I didn't see it that way at all. Unless, I told him, he would be prepared to give me control of the set-up, I would sooner go off on my own.

This wasn't at all to his liking. The pleasure he obtained from his various schemes was from their planning and initiation: he just hadn't a clue or any interest in running a business methodically. He knew at once that his enthusiasms, which I was sure would be recurrent, would be effectively blocked by me if I had the sort of control I wanted. We decided it would not work, but there and then he offered to back me in any venture I wanted to undertake. I never took him up on this, but it was a great boost to my morale.

I did agree, however, to help him set up the new dairy herd and spent nine months learning all about cows in the mass at his expense. The cowshed at Peaton Hall near Ludlow was one of the wonders of British farming in those days. It was built to the latest patterns by a number of contractors and suppliers whom Holder had managed to bulldoze into giving him very favourable terms indeed.

There were certainly problems. He was buying the cows from Ireland, and every week there was a message from the station at Craven Arms saying there was a truck of cows to be cleared. These had to be walked home and usually one or two had calved on the way. The building however was not progressing as fast as the cows were coming in and so all sorts of compromises had to be evolved to get them milked in relays in the few finished stalls. None of the men - and there were a great many - were skilled dairymen. They could milk, but had no idea of how to use the machines or keep them clean. It was a continuing nightmare, or challenge, depending how you looked at it. Every time some sort of system was established, P.G. would produce another 50 cows or the plans for yet another larger cowshed and start ordering the equipment for it. The eventual total came to well over 400 cows.

However by the late spring I was saved from too deep an involvement by a recurrence of malaria and by my insistence that, as I was looking for a farm of my own, he really should get someone else to look after the cows. He immediately offered me the tenancy of one of the farms he owned, quite a good farm on heavy land. The main difficulty was that it was within a few miles of Peaton Hall and I knew full well that I would be pressed into managing the cows whenever, as frequently happened, he sacked his head man. He would never sack me.

I was also obsessed with the Hosier system and the attractions of cheap land on the Wiltshire Downs and had spent any spare time that I had looking for farms to rent there. On reflection, I was probably mistaken in this. I have always been keen to take on land by price and not by its intrinsic quality: the result has been that I have never farmed a decent bit of dirt in 50 years. I could have taken a farm with good land when I started for very little more money than the bad or second-rate.

Finding a farm to rent was not too easy. My manner with the landlords or their agents was far from being ideal. I knew little about English farming, had very little money, and I was rather young (23) trying to get into a farm when many older and more experienced farmers' sons were trying to get into banks and other safe city jobs. Most landlords, very reasonably, would much sooner let their farms to established farmers or their sons, than to complete and presumptuous strangers. They are still of the same opinion today. I motored thousands of miles looking for a farm and generally found that they were becoming vacant because the farmers had found the going tough. The buildings were falling down, the fences were useless and the arable land, if there was any, was full of weeds. In many cases, the crops I saw were hardly worth harvesting.

Still, people were taking land. Hosier accumulated thousands of acres in this period, as did a number of others. It did seem that, under his system, all that was needed was dry land, water, and strands of barbed wire to contain the cows; and eventually you could build up a farm. I used to tell Holder that I could rent land in Wiltshire for a quarter of the reduced rent he wanted to ask me. He used to laugh and said that if I settled in those benighted parts he would never come and see me. He never did.

Eventually I happened on Manor Farm, West Knoyle, about 500 acres which had failed to find a buyer at auction. It was owned by one of the successful Wiltshire farmers and had been occupied by his brother who had given up. I approached Tom Coles, the owner, and offered to rent it. The rent was fixed at £320 a year; about 13s (65p) an acre, which was considered a high rent for those days. It had a seven bedroomed house with few conveniences, four good cottages and the usual buildings. The land was about two-thirds light chalk and the rest heavy clay. Being right on the western edge of Salisbury Plain, it had a steep road right up through the farm. This hill, I was told, was the farm's worst drawback because at least three horses were needed to pull a ton up it.

My taking this farm had caused quite a stir locally I discovered later. Someone else was trying to take it for his son, but he had been so devious in his machinations that when I had come on the scene and not argued about the rent the owner had closed at once. I was warned though, as soon as the news got around which was about ten minutes after the deal had been effected that it was the worst farm in the district, that no one had ever succeeded there, and that I was doomed to failure.

There was nearly a failure of another sort. I was at the time engaged to be married and, from time to time, I had taken Ronie around with me when looking for a farm. On this occasion she hadn't been with me on my first inspection but came with both our mothers when I clinched the deal. I negotiated in the car with the landlord while Ronie and her mentors looked round the house. When they came out I asked them what they thought of it. I had seen no more than the kitchen myself.

'Impossible,' said both mothers, 'it won't do at all.'

'In that case,' I said, 'it is just too bad. I have just taken the farm....'

Title: LINFORD CHRISTIE: An Autobiography, Author: Linford Christie with Tony Ward A the police (in charges against the Christies in court) B Linford Christie C Russell Christie D the Christie family F the magistrates at the initial trial G Linford's dad (David) H policeman who gave evidence against Linford's sister I policeman who gave evidence against Russell J one of Russell's attackers K anonymous caller L police officer on desk duty M "a detective" O one of the police at the door P another of the police at the door R smallest of the police at the door S the Christie's solicitor T magistrate at the appeal U policeman who kicked Linford in the balls W police officers who harrassed Linford's dad in the street X unknown Y "other people in the black community" Z group of men who accosted Russell
Harassment

I well remember the day when I first stared hard, malevolent racism in the face. I believe that I will always remember it, even though it was quite a few years ago and even though it has recurred quite a few times since.

It was early morning and I went down to answer a bang on the front door of Dad's house. I had been in the bathroom and was in my dressing-gown. When I opened the door, three white men stood facing me.

I have never experienced any racism in athletics. We all mix well together, support each other, treat each other as equals. By and large black athletes receive identical treatment to everyone else. Up until this moment of opening the door of Dad's house and looking at these three men, I had experienced very little prejudice in life either. I had heard stories, including horrendous tales of harassment by the police from other people in the black community but my family and I had so far escaped such treatment.

There had been a recent incident involving my younger brother, Russell, who had been at a party and on his way home been accosted by a group of men that he knew, who were in a car. They offered him a lift home. He refused. One of them said, &bquo;Come on Russell are you a man or a boy?&equo; An altercation followed and Russell punched one of the men and ran off. That was the story that Russell later told Dad. Dad was awoken by a telephone call about an hour later, around five-thirty.

&bquo;Mr Christie,&equo; said a voice, &bquo;you don't know me but I know you. We have met and I know that you are a good man and a religious man. I am therefore sorry to tell you that I am going to kill your son Russell.&equo; Dad said nothing. He was too stunned.

&bquo;I offered your son a lift home this morning, Mr Christie,&equo; the voice went on, &bquo;and he refused. I told him not to be silly and then he stabbed me. Your son stabbed me, Mr Christie. I know that Russell lives in your basement and I am going to kill him. I stopped the police banging down your door earlier out of respect to you. Tell Russell to give himself up to the police and when they have dealt with him, Mr Christie, I am going to shoot him.&equo; The line went dead.

Dad went down to see if my brother was in his room. Russell told him what had occurred and that he had not stabbed the man but only punched him. Dad looked out of his bedroom window and saw a strange car, with some men in it, parked outside. It drove round the corner and came back. The situation was clearly serious.

My father went to a police station that evening after work to report the threatening telephone call and the fact that his son was being threatened with extreme violence. He spoke to the officer on desk duty who said that a complaint against Russell had been made at another station. Dad gave particulars of his own complaint. The duty officer promised to get in touch but nothing happened for two days. After this a detective saw Dad in the street and said that he wanted to interview Russell. My father said that he would bring him to the station. This was the day before I opened the door to the three men.

I looked at them, all tough-looking, and said, &bquo;Hello, can I help you?&equo;

&bquo;Is your Dad in?&equo; one of the men asked.

&bquo;No,&equo; I said. I didn't know who was in and who was not, but the incident with Russell and the telephone call had made the whole family wary.

&bquo;Mr Christie's not there you're saying,&equo; another man said.

&bquo;That's right,&equo; I said.

&bquo;James Russell Christie then,&equo; the man said.

I didn't know if Russell was there or not. He is a volatile character, far more so than me, and he came and went as he pleased. I said, &bquo;No.&equo; By now I was extremely suspicious.

The smallest of the group came nearer and said, &bquo;I know you. You're James Russell Christie.&equo;

&bquo;No I'm not,&equo; I said.

I was grabbed by the lapels of my dressing gown and pinned against the wall. &bquo;You're James Russell Christie,&equo; he said. &bquo;I'm sure that you're James Russell Christie.&equo;

Up until this time no ID card or warrant had been produced. For all I knew these could have been the men behind the call to my father, the men come to shoot my brother. One of the men then gave me a perfunctory glance at a warrant before entering the house and walking up the stairs. I began to grapple with the man who was holding me. Anna, my younger sister, appeared on the landing and screamed. Dad heard her and came down the stairs. I hadn't known that he was in, because normally when he is in the house you can hear him singing and moving around. This particular morning, because his car had broken down, he was unable to take Mum to work and he had decided to have a lie-in. He saw that two men were now holding me, pushing me down and punching me and he recognized the man who was walking up the stairs.

&bquo;So,&equo; he said to him, &bquo;this is the way that the police go about their business. You come down here to see me and you beat up my son.&equo;

The moment they realized that Dad was in, they let me go. As one walked outside, another began arguing with Dad who was, naturally, absolutely furious at what had been taking place.

&bquo;Linford,&equo; Dad said, &bquo;has absolutely nothing whatever to do with it.&equo;

I went down to the basement to see if Russell was there. He was, with a friend called Tony. I told him that the police wanted to see him. Then we heard a commotion upstairs. There had been a lull. Suddenly the door had burst open and twenty or thirty policemen rushed into the house and began to punch and kick my father. It was obvious that they had been outside all the time, probably in a van. They had blocked the street off, rather as if an armed siege was in progress.

Dad is one of the quietest, mildest men you could meet. He had been in Britain for over twenty years and never had any problem or contact with the police except for one occasion when he was with Mum on a shopping expedition and police officers approached him and said, &bquo;You fit the description of a guy that has just mugged a woman down the road.&equo; Dad had submitted to turning out his pockets and being searched before they let him go. On another occasion he had been struck once by another man at work and we were furious at him for not returning the blow. &bquo;I leave all vengeance to God,&equo; Dad had said and now here he was, nearing sixty years of age, being attacked, in fact, being knocked senseless by the police.

They had come for Russell for his attack on the man in the car. Dad had complained about the threatening telephone call and no action had been taken; but the man had obviously reported Russell to the police and here they were in force to arrest him.

We rushed to join in, to help Dad. I grabbed a chair in a blind panic but heard Dad call out, telling me to put it down. I was kicked in the back in the melee. We were all being punched and kicked. Dad was pushed along the passage, into the kitchen. He asked why they were constantly hitting him when he was not retaliating. He was knocked unconscious. When he came round, they dragged him outside and flung him, in his night-clothes, into a car and handcuffed him.

I was dragged down the hard, concrete steps on to the pavement. A policeman kicked my testicles hard. &bquo;This one's for Brixton,&equo; he shouted. (Brixton and the riots there were still fresh in everyone's mind.) My dressing gown was ripped. I was flung into a police van, and Russell was also dragged in. He had been handcuffed and was crying with the pain, shouting that they were too tight. They tried to loosen them but failed. Blood began to seep from his hands. The policeman who had kicked me in the groin began to slap Russell around the head. When I told him to stop he laughed. We were taken to the station, dragged down to the cells and left there — all of us, Dad, Russell, his friend Tony and me. Anna had also been arrested in her nightclothes and taken to the station.

I was barefoot and cold; all I had on were my underpants and my dressing gown which, by this time, was just ripped to shreds. I sat there, battered and bruised, very angry and not a little frightened. It was the first time that I had ever seen the inside of a police cell. We were in there for eight or nine hours but it seemed like days. We felt so helpless, so powerless to right what to us was a terrible wrong.

Eventually we were taken up out of the cells and charged. I was charged with three different offences; assault, criminal damage and possessing an offensive weapon. Once the police have arrested you, or so it seemed to us, they will throw the book at you in order to make something stick. They said that I had torn a policeman's tunic. They said that, in the narrow passageway, a corridor whose opposite walls I can touch comfortably with two hands, I had picked up an aluminium chair, ripped it in half, swung it around and hit a policeman with it so hard that he had to shield his head. But he had no injuries that I could see.

They charged Dad with obstructing the police, and claimed that all our injuries had been sustained in the struggle. After we left the police station we all had to go to hospital; we were off work for weeks. In the great fracas in our house, between the three of us and the twenty or thirty policemen, it was our family who were charged with assault.

We attempted to have the case tried in a Crown Court with a judge and jury but it seemed apparent to us, at our first appearance at the Magistrates Court, that every attempt was made, including the dropping of a crucial charge, to keep the case at that level. My solicitor was pessimistic. &bquo;If you are found guilty,&equo; he told me, &bquo;they are going to put you away.&equo;

It was a horrifying time, a nightmare, the future bleak and uncertain. So the stories are true, we told ourselves; there are two types of justice in Britain, one for whites and one for blacks. Instances of police racial harassment which had always happened to other people, were now happening to us.

The police gave evidence. One officer said that my youngest sister, who eventually grew to be just 5 feet 4 inches tall but who was still at school at this time, had her arm around his neck trying to strangle him. Another said that Russell had pulled a brick from out of the passage wall and hit him with it. It was impossible that anyone could have torn out a brick through the wallpaper. Even Geoff Capes could not have managed it. Despite this, inevitably I suppose, we were found guilty on all charges. I was fined £100. I found that amazing. I was charged with wilful damage and assault and was fined just £100, equivalent to the penalty for a serious speeding offence. I am sure they thought that if they just gave us a token punishment, then the whole thing would all be forgotten.

We appealed. Again it was a Magistrates Court. The chair I had supposedly used on the policeman had disappeared, obviously thrown away. The police said that they hadn't realized that they had to keep it. The convictions were upheld, the fines stood. The magistrate said that though he acknowledged that Dad was a peaceful, law-abiding citizen who had never had any trouble with the police and who held strong religious beliefs, there were nevertheless times &bquo;when people do get angry and tell lies.&equo; Though they could pinpoint no inaccuracies in our evidence they nevertheless accepted the police's version of events.

The extraordinary irony was that the original case against Russell never reached fruition.

This, my first encounter with real racism came as a shock. In my heart I cannot put down what happened to our family that day to anything else. It still has an effect on me; it is still painful. Every time I think about it, talk about it, it hurts a great deal. Dad, mainly through his strong religious convictions, has forgiven them. He says that if you really believe in God, you have to forgive. But I cannot. To me it was both an ending and a beginning. It was the end of naïveté and the beginning of a hard cynicism, especially with regard to the police.

We were totally inexperienced — greenhorns — as far as this sort of experience went, lost souls entrapped in a web of intrigue. We did not understand the law, we did not understand our rights. But it was only the beginning.

Title: Step Inside Author: Cilla Black Date: 1985 Publisher: Lennard A gay man in garage B Cilla Black (first person narrator) C Christopher Biggins D "everyone in the show" [including Cilla] E "our researchers" F old man G "people who make up the studio audience" J woman on balcony in flats K the husband of J L tapdancer's fiancé M tapdancer O woman in brothel P fireman who saved a pig R "Colin" S Colin's girlfriend T Colin's mum U coloured feller in brothel V a pig W pig handler X unknown Y "someone in the team" Z Toni Arthur
THE CUTTING - ROOM FLOOR 'Doing Surprise Surprise is a lot of fun, but it makes your heart go a bit because you never know what the people will look like or what they'll say. Rehearsals are a bit like doing a show by braille. Sometimes I think to myself: 'What am I rehearsing this for? It could turn out completely different.' Very often it does, but the funny thing is, the show seems to work because it has that exciting ingredient of no-one being quite in charge of what's going on.

Our relationship with the viewers is a special one. At first we had no idea of the impact that we were having on the public. Then, one evening, Christopher Biggins and I had some time off from making Surprise Surprise and we decided to go and see Alan Bennett's play, Forty Years 0n. We walked into the theatre, and everyone in the foyer scattered!

We found it amazing that the sight of the two of us together should make people so nervous. Did they really think we were trying to set them up for the programme? It seemed incredible to us and yet, had I thought about it, there is a difference between the people who make up the studio audience and write in for tickets and actually hope we will have a surprise for them, and the others who don't write in and are maybe terrified by the thought of appearing on the show.

I know that some people have good reason to be shy. Once, for the Cilla programme, we went live to a block of flats where we had the camera and microphone mounted in a big crane. I said: 'Now, if you recognize these flats as being where you live, come to the balcony and give us a wave and you'll be on television.'

We had a terrific response. The camera lights went on, and all these front doors opened and people came pouring out onto the balconies. The crane went up and down, then moved in close to film people outside their front doors and then I interviewed them from the studio. This went on for a while, then I saw another likely couple and said: 'Right. We'll go in there.'

As the camera moved towards their balcony, the feller broke away and rushed indoors, leaving the girl outside. I asked her if she'd been watching the show. She said yes, so I said: 'Well, what's going on with him? What's he run in for? He should be out here with you.'

I shouted after the feller and coaxed him until he came out again, which he did and gave the camera a wave. There was a younger girl on the balcony as well, so I said: 'Who's this?'

'She's the babysitter,' came the reply.

Why have a babysitter when there are two adults watching television? I wondered to myself. It later turned out that the feller was having an affair with the woman, and her husband, who thought his wife was out playing bingo, was sitting in a pub round the corner watching the whole thing on television! It led to a divorce, and I was a little sad to hear that - but people bring these things on themselves.

A similar scandal blew up after an episode of Surprise Surprise. A feller wrote in to tell us about his fiancée, and what a marvellous tapdancer she was. Could we surprise her with a phone-call and invite her on the show? Then we found out from our records that the girl had written in during the previous series to tell us about her fiancé, saying that he was a talented singer. Could I phone him up and surprise him and invite him on the show?

We thought it would be fun to link the two items together. So I phoned up the girl and did the surprise on her. 'Where's your feller?' I asked her. I told her that he'd written me a letter about her and that they were both going to be on the show. Then I spoke to the feller and explained that she'd said he was a good singer. 'Oh,' he said, 'I'll bloody well kill 'er.'

So we had them both on the show. He sang 42nd Street dressed in top hat and tails and she did some tapdancing, and it made a lovely piece for the programme. As extra surprises we had the Roly Polys to dance for us, and Biggins was one of the Roly Polys. It all went off extremely well.

Two days later I saw this headline in the paper: 'SURPRISE SURPRISE -IT'S MY ?**!??! HUSBAND'. I read on, and found that this guy, who not only owed his wife £3,000 in maintenance, had gone on television with the other woman!

Some people do leave me a little bit flabbergasted. I mean, did he really think he'd get away with it unnoticed on a programme watched by fifteen million viewers? Even if his own wife hadn't seen him someone else who knew him was bound to. It did strike me as a little, well, tactless.

Not that we can't be surprised ourselves. On the Cilla show some years ago I was knocking on doors to see if people were watching the show - and I ended up in a brothel. The door was opened by a woman. She said yes, she'd been watching the programme with her friend. I thought she looked a bit rough but I wasn't very quick on the uptake. In the hallway was a line of men. Still it didn't click. I just thought: 'She's got a lot of friends.' Then the camera lens steamed up! In those days it was still fairly rare to film in this very mobile way, and the crew hadn't allowed for the humidity in the house after coming in from outdoors. I was peering through this cloudy picture from the studio and a feller came up on the screen.

'Who are you?' I asked him. He gave me a name and I said: 'Well, you've gorrer nice tan.' He did too - he was a coloured feller! I was just going to ask him where he'd been on holiday when I realised, and swallowed the question.

After the programme, we got a lot of stick from viewers. 'Of all the streets to pick, Cilla, why did you have to go into a red-light district?' - that kind of thing. I couldn't really say why we picked that one, but I don't mind putting some of the blame on a certain football club. The reason is that we had to share cameras with Match of the Day so wherever they were filming, we were restricted to that area of the country. Come to think of it, if our cameramen had stayed in that house much longer, we'd have been Match of the Day! ****

So much for the gaffes which sometimes slip through the net and then are seen by millions of viewers. If you only knew how many other items we cancel or have to edit out of the final show.

One recent non-starter had promised to be one of the most romantic items we had ever screened. A boy aged twenty-one - we'll call him Colin - wrote to tell us that he and his girlfriend were getting engaged at Christmas-time and he thought it would be a lovely surprise if he could propose to her on the show.

Nice one, we thought. Then someone in the team suggested that Colin should make a date with his girl so she'd think he was coming to take her out. On the Outside Broadcasting camera we'd have Toni Arthur knocking on the door.

Came the day, and Toni knocked on the door. The girl opened it, saw Toni and the camera crew - and immediately slammed it shut. Behind the door we could hear all sorts of noises, swearing and other kerfuffle, then it opened again. This time Toni managed to persuade the girl to come to the studio because her boyfriend was there and she could see the show and get a nice surprise. We had a white Rolls-Royce to take her there and that was fine. She came on the show and I said to her:

'Do you know why you're here?'

She said: 'No.'

I said: 'Well, I'll tell you. But first of all, can we have some soft lights and romantic music.'

The band started to play something gentle, with lots of strings. Colin was sat there in a dinner jacket, and in one of his pockets was the ring we'd bought for him to give to her. I said to him:

'Right, Colin. Off you go.'

He stood up and walked over to his girl, got down on one knee, just as we'd rehearsed it, gave her the ring and said: 'Will you ....'

That was as far as he got because she interrupted him with a loud: 'No!'

The audience roared. I quickly said to the girl: 'Now, don't worry. I know this is all a bit daunting and embarrassing, I can quite understand that. But, really, in the privacy of your own home, or in some more suitable setting, I'm sure you'd say yes, wouldn't you?' She said: 'No!'

Now I was struggling, but I carried on. I explained that we had arranged for them to be taken out in the white Rolls-Royce to have dinner at a wonderful Italian restaurant. 'I'm sure,' I said, 'that when you've had a lovely meal, and you're in a romantic mood, and he asks you again, you'll say...' 'No!' she said, just as firmly as before.

I was more than a bit exasperated by all this non-cooperation. If I'd been her, I'd have said yes just to get off the set.

'Right,' I said, 'You can give us our ring back! And you're not going out to dinner!'

Afterwards, everyone in the studio agreed that we'd have to cut the item. It was great television, but we only wanted to give surprises to people who accepted them. All that 'No, No, No' certainly made a change but it was against the programme policy, so we dropped it. Later we had an angry letter from of all people Colin's mum! Why had we cut out her Colin? she demanded. It really is amazing what some people will put up with in order to be famous for five minutes.

Someone thought up a marvellous piece of revenge on the girlfriend. We'd keep the item going as a continuation piece, and each week we'd bring a different feller. I'd say to her: 'Will this one do?' She'd say 'No!' - and we'd keep it going until she gave in. Everyone on the show thought it was such a great idea, we'd better keep it to ourselves. So we never did anything about it. CUT!

Reunions always go down well with the audience, and some of the scenes are really quite moving. I am fairly hardened to it now, but in the first two series Biggins never was. I always knew if a story had a good emotional pull because I'd hear Biggins whimpering off-camera.

Our researchers came up with a promising story involving a man in his seventies who hadn't seen his daughter since she was one year old. Now she had grandchildren of her own. It took the researchers a long time to track her down, and then they were able to pass on the good news to the old man.

'That's great,' he said. 'I'm really looking forward to meeting her.'

'Right,' we said. 'We'll fix a day for it, and then we'll bring you along to the studio...'

'What do you mean, studio?' he asked.

'For the filming,' we said.

'Oh, no,' he said. 'I'll be very happy to meet my daughter again after all these years. But I'm certainly not going to do it on television!'

CUT!

We had what we thought was a lovely item about a fireman who had done voluntary service for thirty-three years. Not only that, he had raised thousands of pounds for the fire service charity. Of all the many rescues he had taken part in, the most unusual was when he had to save a pig and give it the kiss of life.

The pig survived, so did the fireman, and now we had him and the pig's grandson in the studio. The idea was to ask this feller to show us how he brought the original pig back to life, but just when he was about to start the kiss of life, we'd say:

'That's all right. You don't have to blow into that one. Blow into this.'

Then we'd hand him this balloon pig which we'd had made to order for £150. We never got that far. The grandson pig was impossible. Elephants you can train; camels you can train ; any animal fit for the circus can be trained to perform in front of an audience. But this pig was terrified and couldn't be calmed down. It was dragged on the set wearing a harness and squealing blue murder.

Its handler had assured us there'd be no problem. 'He'll be fine,' he said. 'He's been in shows,' he said. 'He's used to seeing a lot of people.'

Unfortunately, the pig must have had a short memory, because he made such a noise he completely destroyed the item. In no time at all I was put right off doing it, and even if we had gone ahead with filming we could never have shown it because the RSPCA and the animal rights people would have jumped on us. There was only one thing for it. CUT!

I went to a garage to do a request item - a bit like a Cillagram. 'Right,' I said, 'does anybody have a message they'd like to send, 'cos you're on the telly now.'

This feller came forward. Extremely camp, he was. He gazed at the camera, all misty: 'I want to send all my love, and would you please sing You're My World.'

'Fine,' I said, 'I'll do that. But who's it for?'

He looked straight at the camera and said, softly but intensely: 'He'll know who it's for.'

Do you know, we couldn't use that either. Too passionate for us - and besides, we're a family show. CUT!

Author: John Miller Title: Former Soldier Seeks Employment Date: 1989 Publisher: MacMillan B John Miller (first person narrator) C "one of the squaddies on patrol" G John Miller and some other soldiers J the medics at the Victoria hospital K "local people" L the wife of the the chip shop owner M the chip shop customers R "some local hero" U "we" [British soldiers on Northern Ireland] W crew of PIG on patrol X unknown Y Seamus the chipshop owner
If there was mutual malice between us and the locals, there was a blood vendetta between us and the Provisionals. We looked on it as a battle to the death, but, because of the politicians and army rules and regulations, we were fighting with one hand tied behind our backs. Of course we're human, and when we thought nobody was looking, we untied that other hand and played it just as dirty as the Provisionals. A lot of the guys carried 'Belfast Spares'. You go out on patrol with your self-loading rifle and a full magazine of twenty rounds of ammo. But you carry a single spare round, usually in the breast pocket. The old joke was that in a Catholic/Protestant holy war in Ireland, you carried a bullet in your pocket, over your heart, so if anybody fired a Bible at you the bullet would break the impact and save your life.

It might be late at night, on a dark street, when you spot some Provisional hard-line terrorist with a gun, or even some teenage errand-runner carrying a weapon between Provo 'safe houses'. Now the rules say that you've got to shout out a challenge to the gunman and give him a warning that you're a soldier. That's just bullshit. The very least that's going to happen is the guy's gonna get away, if he doesn't panic.

And then a few night's later he's gonna see you before you see him and you or one of your mates is dead. Or when you challenge him he's gonna turn and shoot first. But if you've got the insurance of a spare round, and you're sure

the guy's carrying a piece, you get to shoot first. And then you start a few seconds of screaming and challenging. And you fire a second round in the air. By the time reinforcements have arrived and the area is sealed off, you've got your spare out of your pocket and loaded it in your rifle magazine. So back at headquarters, when the de-brief and inquest session starts, they take your gun and count the ammo and they accept that you've only fired one round.

Everybody for miles around has heard a shot, then shouting, then another shot. And you'd tell them that you'd been on patrol and somebody had fired on you, and maybe there might have been a couple of them, and you had yelled a warning and returned fire and hit one of them. And if they had a dead Provo on their hands, and his weapon, it didn't matter if his gun had been fired or not. And you could be back on patrol the next night and you'd made the streets a little safer.

I saw a double bonus one night when there was a drunken brawl. Two guys were having a fight up an alleyway. We heard the report on the radio and went over. One of the squaddies on patrol got the two guys up against a wall, searched them and found weapons. To the amazement of everybody he said, 'Go on, get lost, don't let me catch you doing this again.' And he gave them the weapons back. As they ran off up the alleyway, he shot them both dead. In the report it was said we could see they were in possession of weapons and they had ignored our warnings. We were all congratulated for our quick reactions.

Another time three of us were doing a Vehicle Check Point when a car came down the street, three guys in it, and refused to stop. A shot was fired at us and they sped away. Two of my men opened fire on the car. They killed one person and badly wounded another. The car crashed about fifty or sixty yards away, and before we could get to it, there were 100 people around that car. We couldn't force a way through without starting a serious riot, so the locals took the three guys out of the car and got them off to hospital. They also took any weapons out of the car. The next day there's a major complaint filed against the British Army for shooting unarmed youths. It's a dirty little war in Belfast.

But occasionally, only very rarely, we got straight results and some satisfaction when the Provos self-destructed. We were patrolling the Clonard area in our PIG, that's a five-ton Humber armoured vehicle called a PIG because it looks like one - long, square and with a big snout. We were squinting through the slits in the side, the gun ports, watching out for any unusual activity, when I spotted a guy I thought I recognised from the Muppet Show. This was the line-up of mugshots back in the briefing room at company headquarters, a wall covered with head and shoulders photos of wanted IRA suspects. Some of the photos were copies of passport pictures, sent straight to the Army by passport office clerks in Belfast and London. Others were slightly out of focus telephoto shots taken at demos or funerals or riots. And some were from the files of the Royal Ulster Constabulary interrogation centre at Castelreagh. You could always tell those. Perfect focus and lighting, full face and profile, but you had to use your i

Anyway, this guy in Clonard looked familiar, and suspicious, so we pulled the PIG over and shouted for him to stop. He ran off around the corner so we chased him on foot and cornered him in an alleyway. He wasn't a very impressive character. A sleazy little weasel of a man. I didn't think he was big enough to be a gunman. He was more like a thief, one of these little men who would carry guns and ammo for others.

We took him off for questioning. I was sitting beside the driver, and this little guy was in the back, with a soldier on either side of him. He was dead nervous and fidgety. Obviously he'd heard stories about what the Brits did to people like him. We were driving along when there was this incredible WHOOF in the back of the PIG and the little guy lifted about two feet from his seat and seemed to burst out of his jacket and then collapsed on the floor. It looked like the worst case of haemorrhoids I'd ever seen. Blood everywhere. We drove him straight to the Victoria Hospital where the medics signed him dead on arrival.

They diagnosed that he'd hidden a fulminate of mercury detonator up his arse. Detonators are funny things. Sometimes they won't ignite no matter how much electricity you put through them and sometimes they'll explode just from the heat of your hand. So once he'd hidden it where he did, he'd more or less signed his own death warrant. It wasn't a pretty way to go. He'd died of internal bleeding within seconds. That's the reality of the situation out there, a lot of distinctly unglamorous deaths.

I came close to an unglamorous death myself in the Great Falls Road Chip Shop Disaster. It was the night the piss hit the pan. The IRA had set up Incident Centres in houses and little offices all over the Lower Falls, where local people could go and file complaints against the Army, claiming everything from furniture being smashed during house searches to underwear being stolen off the washing line. We reckoned that at least some of these Incident Centres were being used to store weapons or as safe houses for gunmen on the run, but we needed cast-iron evidence before raiding any of them. So we set up a covert observation post to watch one of the Incident Centres, just opposite a popular fish and chip shop in the Lower Falls. The chip shop was ideally situated, one of a row of shops and offices at street level in a terrace, with abandoned and derelict flats above.

Under the cover of darkness, it took a few hours and three different patrols to get us in position. Each of the patrols had an extra man on duty as they set off. Five men would enter the alleyway behind the chip shop and only four would come out the other end. The fifth man would scuttle up the rear steps and into the derelict flat we had chosen. We did it in the early hours of the morning, when the chip shop and the offices were closed. I was first in, after I'd quietly forced off the wooden board which had been nailed over the door. Within a couple of hours two other Guardsmen had joined me. We wedged the door closed behind us and settled down for the next three days, with pre-cooked cold rations and ziploc plastic bags to use as portable field latrines.

By daylight next morning we were ready, blackened up with camouflage face cream, hiding in the shadows a few feet back from the window, taking photos of everyone who went in and out of the Incident Centre in the house opposite. A couple of nights later disaster struck. It was Friday night, the busiest night in the chip shop. One of the plastic latrine bags had burst, unknown to us, and the contents were dripping down through the ceiling into the shop. It was hitting the hot fat in the deep pan fryer and going 'psssh'.

There was a queue of hungry people out as far as the door and they began to shrink back against the wall as these drips began to splatter searing fat over the counter. Now nobody smelled anything unusual about this stream of liquid, but there you are. And the wife of the owner looked up and said, 'Holy Mother of God, there's a leaking pipe up there Seamus, you'd better go and sort it out.'

When we heard Seamus coming up the stairs the three of us got behind the door. Seamus gave one heave with his shoulder to free the wooden wedge, and we jerked the door open, grabbed him into the empty flat, put the muzzle of a Browning 9mm automatic in his mouth, and handcuffed him. Our observation post was blown. I grabbed the radio and whispered our 'Breakout' code into it. An armoured PIG was constantly on patrol in the neighbourhood and the crew had a list of locations for our hiding places. They knew from our panic 'Breakout' message that we needed to be rescued - fast. The PIG came roaring round the corner from North Howard Street, promptly rammed into a car and traffic ground to a halt for blocks around. In the meantime the drips of piss had turned into a steady trickle and with hot fat spraying out of the deep pan in the direction of the gas burners, the customers began to get seriously terrified and Seamus's wife lost her patience.

She asked them, 'Will you be hanging on just a while and I'll see what's keeping that stupid bugger Seamus?' So she plodded up the stairs and found herself bundled into the empty flat and staring down a gun barrel as we handcuffed her as well. By this time I'm yelling the breakout code into the radio and listening to the explosive spluttering of cold piss and hot fat, and smelling the smoky fumes drifting up through the floor. From the window we could see the customers retreating back into the street, waiting for the explosion and fireball.

Finally the PIG screamed into the alleyway and we piled in, taking Seamus and his wife with us. We couldn't afford to leave them behind to raise the alarm. But a couple of minutes later we dumped them in the street outside our base, took off the cuffs and let them walk back to their shop.

In the meantime some local hero had realised that if the chip shop burst into flames it would probably take out most of the houses around, together with the parish church and the primary school. A chip shop fire has got about the same destructive yield as a small nuclear device. If you don't believe me, ask any insurance investigator. So the hero crept in, at great personal risk, and switched off the gas burners. Then he got trampled in the rush of hungry looters. By the time Seamus and his wife got back, the piss was sizzling gently and the fat was cooling. But all the stock was gone - cod, plaice, chips, pickles, soft drinks, cigarettes. Even the one-armed bandit in the corner had vanished, probably on its way to a patriotic Republican drinking club.

Seamus and his wife were first in the queue at the Incident Centre across the street next morning and they whacked in a compensation bill to the Army. I sometimes wonder if the Army paid it in full. It would have been cheap at the price. I had stayed with the smoking chip shop to the last possible minute, like a captain reluctant to leave his sinking ship, but the whole incident was a shameful blot on my career. Still, the last thing I wanted was an epitaph which said: 'John Miller, soldier, Guyanese rebel and terrorist fighter - died in a chip pan fire, Belfast 1974.'

Author: Pat Phoenix Title: LOVE, CURIOSITY,FRECKLES AND DOUBT Date: 1983 Publisher: Arlington Books B Pat Phoenix (first person narrator) C Tony Booth G TV 'newscaster' J nurse K Velvy L the management on "A Girl Called Sadie" M Louis Nanton O a girlfriend X unknown
Chapter Nine

"The actor Anthony Booth, well-known for his film and television roles, in particular the series Till Death Us Do Part, is seriously ill in hospital today with third degree burns after an horrific accident at his home . . . " The newscaster carried on impassively with the rest of the day's news but those words raced around my head. Tony? My old mate from repertory days with whom I had shared so many hilarious times and even a hectic but passionate romance. I couldn't imagine him lying there, fighting for his life.

Over in the hospital Tony was hearing the same broadcast. He had been admitted only hours before and was lying in great pain, literally burning up, and flitting in and out of consciousness.

"Wake up, wake up, Mr Booth," the nurse said. "You're on telly."

He turned his head to see his picture on the screen of the ITN News. He passed out again, only to be woken up by the same nurse.

"Quick, quick. You're on the BBC too."

"And then I knew I was in trouble," Tony told me later. "If it was on the BBC as well I must be dying." Tony's wildness in those early days in the theatre I found very attractive. He had a great infectious laughter about him and used to do utterly mad things on impulse. I remember in one company we had a great character actress called Velvy Attwood who was seventy or more then. Tony used to fling open the door of her dressing room and say: "I want you, Velvy, more than anything in the world. Come to me, my darling."

There was Velvy in her long combinations and her vest saying: "You are awful. Get him out. He's horrible."

He did it for devilment and Velvy, frankly, enjoyed the attention.

We first met way back in the mid-fifties when I joined the company in a play called A Girl Called Sadie which was later to become famous in its way for earning managements more money than had ever been done before. I was the leading lady, earning all of £19 10s a week and touring all over Britain. Tony was playing the vicar with the task of trying to reform me, the fallen woman. That was on-stage. Off-stage he was hotly pursuing me.

The cast met for the first time in a cold, bare rehearsal room. I saw this bold, quick-witted, energetic boy standing with a group of other actors. In my time I may have been called a controversial, outrageous lady. Then I was more than a little old-fashioned in my outlook on life. Boys had to be well-behaved and show proper respect for girls. Tony had no awe and no respect, or so it seemed at the time.

I was blonde then. The management had insisted I go silver-blonde for the part of Sadie and so my red hair had to be dyed - much to my mother's consternation. That was all right when it was first done but after nine months in the play, constantly bleaching my hair, it started to fall out. My hair was down to my elbows when the tour started. When it finished I was practically bald. I had a Yul Brynner bubble-cut. By that time Tony and I were romantically involved. He used to say he was going out with the only bald leading lady in the business.

But that was later. At first I backed off from his advances. Just out of my first disastrous marriage, I felt I wasn't going to be caught again. Tony, nevertheless, set out to woo me heavily - when he wasn't playing practical jokes on me and the rest of the cast.

We had a marvellous old man with us, Louis Nanton, who played the doctor. He had to open his doctor's bag on stage every night and say: "I'll get the stethoscope out and see to the patient." One night before he went out, Tony filled the bag with all sorts of rubbish - empty cardboard packets and papers. The old man nearly had a fit when he opened it.

But most importantly, Tony made me laugh at myself. He made me realise how ridiculous I could be and eventually I did succumb, to his sense of humour and his passion. But not until - with the perverse streak that is in my character - he had given up. The moment he stopped chasing me, I changed my mind.

That was the start of our love affair. Our wild and frantic romance. We were both young, without a home or very much money, but we were madly in love. Too much so, perhaps. We were both too fiery, too unbearably on the go at that time. We would have burned one another out had we stayed together.

Tony left the company to go into No Time For Sergeants while I remained touring with Sadie. He would finish work on Saturday night and somehow get from London to wherever I was playing. On one occasion he was found climbing in through a bedroom window at the place where I was staying. On another he flew back from Rome to see me.

Time went on and we began to go our different ways. I joined another company, still touring, while Tony was hitting the big time. For three years we drifted further and further apart. Three months went by without a word from him. Proud as ever, I tossed my head and went off. But still I couldn't lose sight of him. He was doing well in films - and earning himself a reputation as a tearaway. I was constantly reading in the newspapers about his antics. I knew Tony and understood all this. Others didn't. He is a lot like me. The thing that leads him into trouble is his directness, his honesty. I recognised a kindred soul. Like me, he tried to fight the establishment for very good causes and for others rather than himself. Like me, he usually finished in some sort of trouble.

I read stories of his wildness. Stories that he drank a lot. As it turned out, he didn't drink a lot, but he got drunk very quickly. He had a sugar deficiency - three pints and he'd be absolutely drunk out of his head. When I saw the stories I said to myself: "That's ridiculous. Tony doesn't drink." He didn't. None of us did in those days. On a Friday night the company might have a bottle of beer apiece to celebrate the end of the week, but that's all. I couldn't even touch the stuff now.

I could not connect the Tony of these stories with the man I knew. A man with so much life in him. Lively people like him don't need drink. They've got their own source of energy and excitement. Nor could I connect a dying Tony with the man I had shared a grand passion with all those years before. In any case love was the last thing on my mind as I thought about Tony. I was still wounded mentally, and I knew Tony was physically - though not to what extent. He was just a friend in trouble and I wanted to see him.

But would he want to see me?

Since we'd parted, we'd seen each other only once, many years later, on the set of Coronation Street when he came in to play Christine Hargreaves' boyfriend. He was tied up emotionally with someone else and so was I. We barely spoke. When we came together again, later, Tony told me he thought I was snooty. I thought he was distant. We were both retaining a distance through pride.

I knew he'd been living with someone for many years and there were children. Perhaps I would be intruding if I visited him? Twice I came very close. The first time, on my way to a public appearance with my friend Keith, we drove near the hospital where Tony was. Time was short and we couldn't stop. The second time I was with a girlfriend. Should we stop and see Tony Booth, I asked?

"If he's the guy you say he is, and if he's burned about the face, he may not want to see you," she said.

We drove on. I wish now we hadn't. To see him was not meant in any romantic way. I just felt perhaps he might need a friend. As it turned out I didn't know how much Tony needed a friend. In all the time he spent in hospital, apart from his children, his sister and Una Stubbs, no one visited him. No one. He was very much deserted by others he'd thought close. If I'd obeyed my instincts and gone to see him I think it might have helped. I don't know. Certainly he did have a very bad time.

Several months later I got a phone call at the studios. It was Tony.

"Hello Pat. It's Tony, Tony Booth."

"Oh, how are you?" I said, delighted to hear his voice.

"I'm fine, fine. I'd like to see you," he said.

"Well, why don't we meet for lunch next week. At the Film Exchange here in Manchester."

I didn't know. I had no idea of his circumstances. First of all, he had no money at all. Secondly, he could hardly walk. A wind would blow him over - he was down to seven stone. But when I saw him at the Film Exchange he was well dressed, he was groomed. Absolutely super. I noticed he wore fingerless gloves on his burned hands.

"Hello Tony," I called across the room. "Lovely to see you. How are you?"

"Oh, all under control," he said, dismissing his horrific injuries with a wry grin. "But what about you. How are you?"

I'm a great believer in fate - that enormous plan that controls all our lives. Part of that plan for me was that Tony and I should come together once more. Why else should I think of him so many years later? Why else, when Tony desperately needed someone to talk to, someone who would understand, should he be reminded of me? But in the beginning it was just friendship. We talked a great deal and I began to understand a little of what he had gone through.

"What you really need is some publicity," I told him. "So that people will know Tony Booth is back, fighting and ready to work. Come and stay at my cottage overnight. We'll call in the press to do an interview. You know - an old mates' reunion. "

"Yes, fine," he agreed.

He came, fell in love with the cottage and we talked half the night away that first evening. He was living at his mother's house in Liverpool but conditions weren't exactly ideal.

"Why don't you come and stay here until you finish the book you're working on. There's plenty of room. We won't get in each other's way," I said.

He agreed to stay but only as a working and paying guest. Of course, in some ways I was wary about his coming to stay. I wanted no romantic entanglement and told him so straight. "We're just friends, right Tony? No hanky panky." I didn't really think he'd be interested anyway. We'd put too much distance between us.

There were always friends coming and going. I was living my life, dashing off all over the place. I thought there would be no problems like that. Tony needed someone to talk to. He was starved of theatrical conversation. He hadn't worked as an actor for about two years before the accident. So he missed actors' tales. I'd come home at night, usually shattered by the day's rehearsing or filming, and we'd talk and talk. Curled up in a chair in front of the flickering fire, I'd tell him of my day, things that had happened at the studio.

One evening, on Kitty my housekeeper's night off, I was greeted by delicious smells coming from the kitchen. I walked through and found Tony, wooden spoon in hand, preparing dinner.

"I'm chef tonight," he said. "And I'm a good one. It's time you allowed someone to spoil you - you don't eat enough."

The meal he served was superb. There was wine for me and orange juice for Tony. He swears he will never drink again. He doesn't even like the taste any more. We talked of old times, laughing over old memories. Both of us had a different view of each other. He told me how haughty I'd been in those days. He reminded me of things I'd forgotten about myself. Things I deserved to be reminded of. He talked about what had happened to him, his experiences in hospital. Even then his burns were unhealed and yet he turned his tragedy into laughter. I was filled not with pity but with sympathy and admiration for his courage.

Title: Monty - his part in my victory Author: Spike Milligan Date: 1976 Publisher: Penguin B Spike Milligan (first person narrator) C Harry Edgington G Doug Kidgell J Alf Fildes K Spike's dad L Spike's mum M the Colonel at Reigate O "a young gunner called Harry" U Harry's MO X unknown
Carthage Carthage 22-23-24 May. Our long weekend leave was about to start. Friday till Monday! Where to spend it?

'Edgington,' I said, as I shaved with a thousand year old blade, my face a sea of cuts, 'All my born days I've wanted to see the ruins of Carthage.'

'I think you've only got a pint of blood left,' says Edgington.

'I must hurry.'

'What's a Carthage?' said Doug Kidgell.

'A great archaeological site.'

'Oh?' said Kidgell 'Why we goin', you got friends there?'

'It's to improve my education.'

'Can't we go to the pictures?' said Kidgell. 'There's Bing Crosby in "The Road to Bali" in Tunis.'

That evening, excited as schoolboys we drove off along the Tunis-Bizerta road, it was as though the war didn't exist, eventually we pull up on a sandy beach for the night.

There was no moon, but the sky was a pin-cushion of stars. Great swathes of astral light blinked at us across space. We made a fire, glowing scarlet in cobalt black darkness, showers of popping sparks jettisoning into the night air. Tins of steak and kidney pud were in boiling water, with small bubbles rising to the surface.

'Ready soon,' said Doug, poking the fire, the only poke he would have for a long time.

Fildes and Edgington were making up their beds in the lorry. Edgington singing while Fildes spoke to himself. It was interesting to hear; 'A cigarette that bears lipstick traces- I think I'll put three blankets on top' - 'An air line ticket to romantic places!' - 'It's going to get chilly later' - 'A fairground's painted swings' - 'Better keep my socks on tonight' - 'These foolish things' - 'Where's that bloody pillow?' - 'Remind me of you.'

Kidgell in the driving cab is finishing off an 'I love you for ever' letter.

'You don't write many, Milligan.'

'I let 'em all worry.'

'What about your folks?'

'Well they worry about me all the time. Before the war they worried if I went to the toilet, even if I was in the gardens they'd shout out "Are you alright son?" They'd wake me up in the middle of the night and say "Are you alright son?" They're natural worriers. My father would wake up at 3 in the morning and worry about his job, and my mother would worry about him worrying about his job.'

'They sound a mite strange mate.'

'A mite? They're insane! Every night, when my father comes home from work, he gets his pistol from under the stairs then shouts "Hitler! if you're in this house, come out with your hands up." Let me tell you, Kidgell, I'm bloody worried about them.'

We sat around the fire, opening the tins with a Jack knife.

'Army cooks don't like tinned food,' says Kidgell.

'Why not?'

'They can't sod it up in tins. They like fresh stuff they can burn the Jesus out of. The motto of the Army Catering Corps is, Help wipe the smile off a soldier's face.'

'Got him!' said a triumphant Edgington, smashing a mosquito on his wrist, sending his marmalade pudding flying into the fire. 'Bugger,' he said, trying to retrieve it with a stick.

In a food frenzy he dashes to the lorry, returns at speed with rifle and bayonet. A heroic sight, as he lunged time and terse again to retrieve the blackened duff. 'Don't forget - thrust - turn - withdraw,' said Kidgell.

'Gentlemen, a surprise!' I produced a small bottle of Schnapps. 'It fell off the back of a Major Chater Jack.'

'That is a spoil of war,' said Edgington, striking a dramatic finger-pointing pose.

'Well, it's not going to spoil mine,' I said, pouring out the white liquid.

Alf sipped and grasped his throat. 'Christ! If they drink this, they are the master race.'

It was fiery stuff.

'It'll kill us,' said Edgington.

He spat a mouthful on the fire, it exploded in a sheet of flame. 'See? Mind you go to the bog, for Christ's sake don't strike a match.' We mellowed. Harry got hiccups.

Edg: I wonder - hic - what's going to hickhappen to - us next -'

He didn't have long to wait for the answer - a spark shot out of the fire and burnt him.

We sat close to the fire. The smoke kept the mossies away - an occasional brave one would die under hand as it landed.

'Silly sods. I wouldn't risk my life to pass on malaria,' said Fildes. 'I think I'll turn in.'

Through the night a 3 ton lorry, with a mosquito net across the back, was home to four lads from London, who slept sounder and safer than those in bomb ridden London. It seemed all wrong, but then it was alright by me.

A letter told of my eccentric father's career as a Captain. He had decided that the RAOC Depot at Reigate was wide open to paratroops. He took it upon himself to make a life-like raid on the Depot. He briefed a dozen NCO's. They chose mid-day. The officers are in the Mess, having a pre-lunch tossup - the men are queueing in the mess hall. Suddenly the cookhouse staff are surrounded by men with black faces and tommy guns. Their leader is speaking in a strange patois. ''Ands up, Schell, git against that bleedin' wall, Englander please.' In the Officers Mess from behind the bar arose 5 men with blackened faces, one wearing a German helmet, and holding a machine pistol, 'Last orders pliss undt hands up.' It was my father. The officers were then locked in an office where it was simple to phone police. A constable arrived, and my father then explained the whole scheme. The Colonel said:

'You're a bloody fool,' and had him posted to RAOC, Elstree.

We were up at first light and away through Tunis on the Carthage road.

'Let's play some party games,' I said, 'I make up the first line and you have to rhyme the next, "There was a young gunner called Harry" '

KIDGELL: Told the MO he wanted to marry, EDG: The MO said Oh? ALF: Is it Bexhill Flo? ME: He said No, it's old Calcutta Carrie.

The blue Mediterranean flanked the road, we were as free as we would ever be in our lives. We pulled up at a lonely beach, plunged into the azure waters, with Edgington as base man we repeatedly tried balancing on each other. We got as far as 3, then collapsed with great artificial screams and dramatic plunges into the briny. One of us would submerge and sing a song and from the rising bubbles you had to guess what tune it was. Life was golden, and we were the assayers. Evening; we made camp by a sandy verge. We ate and talked. At 9.30 we bedded down. 'Good nights' were exchanged. At midnight we were still talking.

'This is marvellous, isn't it?' says Edgington, 'I don't like going to sleep 'cause I'll miss it.'

DOUG: Holidays in Africa, cor. EDGE: You gone quiet Al! AL: I was thinking of Lily. ME: You dirty little devil, sleep with your hands on top of the blankets. AL: You don't know what true love is Milligan, there's too many birds in your life. ME: I spread my investments! Keep as many on the boil as you can, I've got 7 going for me back in England, see there's - EDGE: Look out! He's going to have a roll call! ME: There's Beryl - Marie - Kay - Ivy - Madge - Betty - Dot - Doris. DOUG: Companyyy! stand at easeeee! AL: Don't they ever find out about each other? ME: I keep the door locked. EDGE: You're evil Milligan, with all that shaggin' it's going to drop off one day. DOUG: Believe me, it won't half make a noise when it hits the ground.

We awoke at first light, and played 'Who's - going - to - make - the - tea?' By ten past 9 no-one had given in, finally Edge arises, bent double, bladder bursting. 'I'll make it.' 'He'll only just make it,' I thought.

We heard him tinkering about outside, he broke into a little tune.

Don't blame me, For falling in love with you. I'm under your spell But how can I help it don't blame - BUGGER!

'How's he going to rhyme that,' I thought. He'd burnt himself. With Edgington, striking a match could lead to any- thing. Edgington tying a boot-lace could end up with a broken arm. Edgington cutting his toe nails could mean an amputated leg.

'Come and get it!'

We got it, fried eggs and sand. It was just after 10 a.m. when Doug put the lorry in gear and started following the signs.

'What happened at the Carthage?' said Doug, who was still puzzled.

'It was a great Naval Power! Had a war with Rome, I forget the score. The Romans razed the city, and ploughed the ground with salt.'

'How did you know all that?'

'Chambers Encyclopaedia,' I said, 'as a kid I loved reading. Given a chance I could have been a great scholar, even University.

'You could have been a great University?'

'Everyone ought to get a university education,' said Al. 'I reckon if Harry had been through a university, he might be writing concertos instead of burning himself makin' the tea.'

'I think he'd burn himself writing a concerto.'

'Chambers Encyclopaedia?' said Harry. 'I thought that was the history of Piss Pots.'

Without warning, Kidgell burst into song. 'Loveeeeeee let me taste the wine from your lipssss,' and then went into hysterical laughter.

'He's goin' off his nut,' said Edgington, 'it happens to short arses like him.'

Doug frowned, smiled and grimaced as only a facial cripple could. 'Short arsed men are well known for their power. Take Nelson.'

'You're not,' said Fildes querulously, 'you're not lumping yourself in his class?'

A smile played across Kidgell's face.

'Answer, answer,' shouted Edgington, branding his fist on the dashboard and cutting his finger.

'Yes,' said Kidgell, 'I do, I have the same short arsed qualifications as 'im, it's just that I never had the same chances. '

Al turned and looked at Kidgell.

'What are you staring at?' he giggled.

'Christ,' chuckled Al, 'you in charge of the H.M.S. Victory?'

'How do you know that inside me there isn't a brilliant naval tactician?'

'Say Ahhhh,' I said, 'and I'll look for him.'

'Personally you look more like a 1/2 Nelson,' said Edgington.

'Alright, alright, you think what you want, I still say short arses have a greater power over their fellow men by reason that they're nearer the ground and haven't got so far to fall.'

That baffled the lot of us and we gave up. Edgington was bending his fingers over each other to make 'Crab Claws'. 'I learned this as a nipper,' he said. We set off again, sucking our ration of boiled sweets.

We were doing 15 miles an hour, at that speed you could say 'Look at that', but, at modern speeds it's 'Did you see that?' Finally, CARTHAGE! We parked by a clump of trees, and walked to the ruins of the amphitheatre.

It was almost featureless now. What a sight it must have presented, clad in marble, as high as El Djem, the sun of Africa reflecting its white surface, the roar of crowds, the blood, the mangled remains, like Celtic vs Rangers.

'Is this it?' said Doug.

'Yes.'

'This is what I missed Bing Crosby on the Road to Bali for? It's terrible, it's like Catford.'

'One minute you're allying yourself with Nelson and when you see history you say it's Catford! You short arse, I only brought you here because the ruins were low enough for you to see over.'

'Well,' says Kidgell, 'I still say a Carthage is not as good as Bing Crosby in the Road to Bali.'

We brewed our tea on the floor of the arena, it was hard to believe blood spilled here 2,000 years ago.

We upped anchors and drove on, finally Doug picked a spot adjacent to a heavily bombed French maritime repair docks.

'Ah!' says Kidgell, 'This looks more like a Carthage.'

He backed the truck under a large tree - a small group of Arabs with 3 donkeys and a camel are passing towards Tunis. They sell us oranges, eggs, dates and things that look and taste like Pistachio nuts, mainly because they were.

After a day of swimming, we are in bed smoking and talking.

'Got to be back by mid-day tomorrow - sod it,' said Doug regretfully.

'Good night lads,' yawned Edgington.

'Steady,' I said. 'You haven't had an accident for an hour.'

Title: Joyful Voices Author: Doris Stokes Date: 1987 Publisher: Futura B Doris Stokes C John (Doris' husband) G Laurie J Mrs Reynolds (Joan) K Mr Reynolds (Alan) L Jonathon Reynolds (ghost) M Fiona (ghost) O Sonya Reynolds (sister)
Chapter Seven

Friday, March 6th was a dreary day. The weather was cold and dull and by evening a steady rain had set in. Outside, the crocuses were flowering well but the day belonged more to winter than to spring.

And so it was on that wet, gloomy evening that we first heard the news of a disaster that shocked the world.

John and I, supper over, had just settled down with a pot of tea to watch television. But the set had hardly warmed up when our programme was suddenly interrupted by a newsflash.

The teacups froze in our hands as we listened in horror. A Townsend Thoresen ferry, the Herald of Free Enterprise, had capsized just outside Zeebrugge. Hundreds of passengers were on board and every boat in the area was racing to the rescue.

Like most people, I think, our first reaction was one of total disbelief. I'd never been on one of those ferries but I'd seen pictures of them often enough. Huge and solid, seemingly crammed to overflowing with cars and excited holiday-makers, they looked stable, well-made and indestructible. How could one of these giants possibly turn over in a calm sea before it had even properly left the harbour? It just didn't make sense.

Yet, believe it or not, as that tense evening went on, it became clear that if anything the tragedy had at first been underplayed. Hundreds of people were saved, of course, but as we discovered later, close on 200 were killed.

Those poor souls, I thought. I've always been a bit claustrophobic and the idea of being trapped in a ship as it rolled over in the water made me shudder. How did they bear it? Even the ones who returned safely must have gone through an appalling ordeal.

What a way to end a holiday. My mind went back to my last stay in hospital. While I was there a number of nurses were collecting coupons for just such a trip. Apparently, a national newspaper was offering shopping-trips on the continent for £1 plus a number of special coupons printed in the paper. Every morning when I'd finished reading the news, I shared my coupons amongst the eager nurses.

I could only pray that I hadn't unwittingly sent some poor young girl to a watery grave by my choice of reading material.

For days afterwards, accounts of the disaster and the complicated business of recovering bodies went on and the newspapers were full of harrowing tales. Then in the midst of it all, Laurie rang. A desperate couple who'd lost their son in the tragedy had contacted him. Naturally, they were distraught and they wondered if I could help.

'What d'you think, Doris?' asked Laurie 'I know you're very busy.'

I didn't hesitate. There was no question in my mind. I knew I had to see them. 'Fit them in somehow, Laurie,' I said. 'I'll see them as soon as I possibly can. In the meantime, I'll give them a ring.'

Mrs Reynolds had been in quite a state, as any mother would have been. Her son, Jonathan, and his fiancee, Fiona, had set off for a day's shopping-trip to Belgium, planning to return aboard the ill-fated Herald of Free Enterprise. They never came back. Since then Fiona's body had been recovered but Jonathan's was still missing.

There was no doubt in my mind. Jonathan was definitely on the other side. As I talked to his parents on the phone a young man's voice suddenly chimed in on the conversation. I had Mrs Reynolds in one ear and Jonathan in the other. He gave me a few family names. His mother was called Joan, he said, his father was Alan and his sister was Sonya.

'They feel bad because my body is still trapped down there,' he said, 'but tell them not to grieve. It doesn't matter at all because I'm not under the water. I'm here and I'm safe.'

I passed this on to Alan and Joan and I tried to explain that a body is just a coat we put on when we come to this earth and that once our time here is done, we don't need it any more. It really doesn't matter what happens to our old clothes. A funeral is just a comfort for the living - it serves no useful purpose to the loved one who's gone on, although he may well attend because it's a big family gathering, just as he'll attend future weddings, christenings and celebrations, because he's part of the family.

By the end of the conversation they seemed calmer and I think the chat brought them a little comfort.

Shortly afterwards they came down from their home near Oxford for a full-scale sitting. I'm sorry to say that when they arrived at midday I was still in my dressing-gown and not at all sure that I could go through with it. Once again I seemed to have been struck down by some mysterious complaint. My head ached. I felt dizzy every time I tried to stand and I kept going hot and cold. To make matters worse, we had a blocked drain that day and workmen were bustling backwards and forwards and the phone kept ringing.

Laurie called early that morning to drop in some papers and he found me weak and ready to panic.

'l don't think I'm going to be able to manage, Laurie,' I said anxiously 'I feel so rotten I think we'd better change it to another day.'

But when Laurie rang the Reynolds' number there was no reply. They'd already left.

'Oh well,' I said as philosophically as I could, 'we can't turn them away I'll just have to hope the spirit world doesn't let me down,' and I swallowed a couple of Disprin and crossed my fingers.

I'm so glad now that I did. The three Reynolds arrived dressed in black. They were smart and composed but the tension around their eyes belied the calm exterior. Inside they were suffering badly.

Laurie showed them into the front room and brought them coffee while I apologized for my dishevelled appearance.

'I'm so sorry,' I explained, 'I haven't been at all well and it was all I could do to get out of bed this morning. I don't know if I'm going to be any good to you.'

'That's all right, Doris,' said Mrs Reynolds sympathetically 'We quite understand. We're just glad you could see us at all.'

'Well, I can't promise anything,' I warned, 'I'll do the very best I can but quite honestly I don't know if it's going to work.'

'Well, if it doesn't, it doesn't,' said Mrs Reynolds reassuringly.

We sipped our coffee and chatted about the weather and the journey and the problems with the drains and all the time I prodded with my mind at the spirit world. At first there was a great deal of confusion. Hardly surprising really, when you consider how many poor souls found themselves ejected without warning into the spirit world in such an unforeseen tragedy.

Then, through the confusion there came a great sense of urgency. There was some important news on the way. In fact the news should be arriving that very day.

'I think we're ready now,' I said at last to the Reynolds. 'I'm getting a feeling of confusion and then this urgency. Something about some news. Have you had some news today?'

The family shook their heads.

'No,' they said.

'Well, there's some news on its way and it will come today,' I said.

They shrugged. There was, after all, no way of telling if I was right or wrong. Yet later that evening when I turned on the television, I was just in time to catch the announcement that the date for the attempted refloating of the Herald of Free Enterprise had been fixed that very day. The refloating was an important event because without it the remaining bodies could not be recovered.

This was the news the spirit world had been preparing us for. As it turned out, the intended date came and went and the ship stayed where it was, due to bad weather, but, nevertheless, the message had been correct. There was news that day.

That out of the way, two bright young people stepped boldly into the picture. I could hear them laughing and chattering together for several moments before moving close enough to speak to me. What a happy pair they sounded. I've never heard a couple laugh so much as these two.

'Shush a minute, Fee,' said Jonathan, 'I just want to tell them we're together. They've been worrying about that. They think we got separated but we didn't. We came over together and we're going to go on together from now on.'

All three Reynolds were visibly relieved when I told them this.

'Thank goodness,' whispered Joan Reynolds almost silently, eyes half closed.

And suddenly I understood her fears. Fiona's body and the body of her thirteen-year-old sister, Heidi, had been found while Jonathan's had not, and she was worried that because they had not been 'laid to rest' together they might be separated for all time.

Of course, it doesn't work like that at all. People who both want to be together, can be together. They meet up as soon as they pass over if they wish to, it's as simple as that, but Joan, Alan and Sonya weren't to know.

'Now, I know we don't want to dwell on it,' I said silently to Jonathan, 'but can you tell us what happened?'

'There were seven of us,' he explained.

Later the Reynolds confirmed that Jonathan, Fiona and Heidi had indeed been part of a party of seven who'd set off on a day's shopping-trip in Belgium - just for the fun of it

'Fiona and I went to the bar to get a drink,' Jonathan went on, 'and we got separated from the others. We never saw them again ...'

As his words died away I felt the dreadful sensation of icy water all around me and a terrible dark, confined space. the water crept higher and higher and I could hear people screaming.

Quickly I closed my mind to the impression. With my claustrophobic tendencies I couldn't take much of scenes like that.

'It's okay, Jonathan, I get the picture,' I told him silently, 'Don't dwell on it, love.'

'I could swim and I was trying to help people ...' Jonathan went on, 'but there was no way out.'

A bit later, he came in too close to me and I could feel my lungs filling up with water. I began choking and gasping for air.

'Jonathan!'

This sometimes happens with inexperienced spirit communicators, especially if the medium is tired or below par generally. The medium loses concentration and unintentionally fails to remind the spirit person to keep a safe distance between them. When this happens the spirit person's last impressions come across so strongly that the medium starts to live them, with potentially dangerous results.

Once I'd finished coughing I felt it was wiser to stick to more mundane subjects. I asked Jonathan if he'd had anything of value on him which his family could keep when the body was eventually found.

'A watch or something,' I suggested.

I felt him shake his head. 'Not really. My watch wasn't very safe,' he said.

'That's right, he was talking to me about it not long ago,' said Joan. 'The metal bracelet was dodgy.'

Jonathan gave some more family names and details and then I got a number. Someone listed at twenty-something. It was very fuzzy. Could have been twenty-two.

'Fiona lived at twenty-seven,' said Joan.

And at the mention of her name, Fiona made Jonathan stand aside for a moment to let her speak.

'All my things are still there at number twenty-seven, just the way they were,' she said. 'Tell them not to grieve. You see, my parents were separated and for a while it was difficult for me. Jonathan was my life. I wasn't very happy before I met him but then we met and he was everything to me. I looked on his parents as my parents and I loved them very much.'

'You'd better!' interrupted Jonathan, teasingly.

And then they were laughing again.

'Come on, you two!' I said, pretending to be irritated as the giggles went on. 'Let's give your mum and dad a bit more to go on. What did you do for living, Jonathan?'

Instantly I was given a picture of a table piled high with, books and papers and sheets of writing. It looked very much like a student's untidy desk.

'Was he studying?' I asked the Reynolds. 'Because he's showing me lots of books and papers. Was he still at college?'

'Yes he was,' said Alan.

It turned out that Jonathan was only nineteen years old and he was taking a course in surveying and land management at a polytechnic.

Title: Fatima Publisher: PELHAM BOOKS Date: 1988 Author: Fatima Whitbread with Adrianne Blue B Fatima Whitbread [first person narrator] C Fatima's mum (and coach) G Seb Coe J Willie Banks K Geoff Capes L Don Quarrie M Linford Christie's crash coach O Tessa Sanderson U the doctor W "the British Press" X unknown Y "some of the tabloid toughies" Z News of the World

No one accomplishes anything in sport without believing in herself and without getting a lot of help.

In Helsinki I began to believe in myself more firmly and to believe in the possibility of my most ambitious dream, and I certainly do now - except on those few mornings when, like everyone else in the world, I don't. Fortunately, on those days my coach brings me a cup of tea and urges me patiently to get up and go training. If I don't she gets less patient and more outspoken. You have to coach the mind as well as the body. She has done that from the start.

Last winter, when no one discovered for four months that a bone in my heel was out of place, the injury became so painful that I could hardly walk on it and certainly couldn't run. The treatment I was getting on my back and hamstring - cortisone, tissue manipulation - would have worked if that tiny bone had not been a fraction out of position. Understandably the foot was ignored until throwing commenced as part of my winter training in March.

Mum is my only coach but we get ideas from specialists regarding weights, bounding, running and so forth. My osteopath is Terry Moule, whom I see regularly and who is also a nutritionist. Seb Coe recommended Terry Moule, who sees a lot of British athletes and who designed the diet which makes it possible for me to build muscle. I have been going to Terry since November 1980. Willie Banks, the triple jumper, has given me good training tips. The weightlifter Geoff Capes has too. Don Quarrie has given me helpful advice on sprints as has Linford Christie's crash coach. Sometimes I train with Verona Elder. Both she and her husband have been good to me.

I do my weight training with a partner. For years, Mick, who is a docker, and I trained in an unheated garage about five minutes from home. It was so cold in the winter that each time I put another weight on the bar, I felt I was picking up a chunk of ice. I still do my weight training in Mick's garage, but as Mick can no longer get off work, Mum helps me out now.

Victory is sweet, they say. Like expensive chocolate. The truth is that the taste of victory - imminent victory - was in my case strawberry-flavoured Complan. I had been drinking four, five, even six glasses of it every day for three years. But hard graft and a good foundation aren't enough to become a winner. It takes magic. The real alchemy of Helsinki, the magic, was that it transformed me into a world-reckoned winner.

Just a week after the Worlds, I transmuted silver into gold at the 1983 Europa Cup. This time I was no one's back-up. I was the British number one. But I was Antoanetta Todorova's heiress. She had won it the previous time; this year it belonged to me. Mine was the first gold medal ever won by a British woman in a European throwing event. I knew I was on my way.

Three or four days later I had my tonsils out. I wouldn't miss them. That was a small problem, but even the big ones, I sensed, would no longer deflect me. Not my grief which was always there. Not my shoulder or back pain. Not even an operation for fibroids two months before I threw 69 metres at the Talbot Games.

Until that summer of 1983, though, Tessa had always been there, a bit ahead. In a way Tessa had been a help, an inspiration. She was five years older than me, five years further along the way, and always up there, the British number one, something to aim at.

I always knew that one day I would take on the mantle. Perhaps Tessa knew it too. Maybe that's why she has said some snide and utterly untrue things about me and Mum. Funny isn't it that after I had been the victim of a pro-Tessa, hate-mail campaign of anonymous letters - which I reported to the police - she then decided that she too had been the victim of such a campaign.

I have more sympathy for Tessa on the issue of anabolic steroids - which she has been suspected of taking, as have I. Tessa denies vociferously that she has ever taken these or any other illegal drugs, as I do. I have never taken such drugs and I never will. In Britain we have the best scrutiny of athletes in the world. It would be impossible to cheat if you wanted to. I don't want to. And it is perfectly right that people who do cheat get caught. They are ruining our sport. Anna Verouli, the Greek girl, who was a one-year wonder, going from eleventh place in the World Student Games to gold in the European Javelin Championship in that short time, tested positive for anabolic steroids at the Los Angeles Olympics. Many people think Anna must have had the benefit of those muscle-building drugs when she won in Athens. On a personal level, she was all right so far as I knew her. Professionally, though, she was a cheat, and in LA she got her come-uppance.

If it were possible I would be friends with Tessa - and it was nearly possible. Mum was a fan of Tessa's early on, and was team manager when Tessa broke the British record in West Germany. Mum was delighted. But later, when she felt me creeping up the ranks, Tessa began to throw stones.

Apart from everything else, the distance between our respective homes is a barrier. Tessa lives in Leeds and I live in Essex. But since it is very difficult when you reach a certain standard to keep pushing yourself further, it would be nice occasionally to train alongside Tessa, as I sometimes do with Verona. .

Perhaps our rivalry is just in the nature of things. Maybe neither of us is to blame. All those years, Tessa was always there, I was right behind her. I experienced her as a barrier to overcome. But to her, I must have been a nuisance breathing down her neck.

And Los Angeles was looming.

That winter, though, my training was hampered somewhat by severe pelvic pain. The doctor diagnosed fibroids, growths on my womb, which had to be cauterised. When that didn't quite work, I went back for a second cauterisation, and I was recovering nicely. Then, just two weeks before I had to depart for the Games I had to go in and have the fibroids cauterised for a third time. I felt weak and a little wobbly. The doctor told my mother it was not advisable for me to compete in the 1984 Olympics. It was too soon.

Mum said it would have to be my decision. I wanted desperately to go to Los Angeles. So I decided to disobey doctor's orders. Even if it didn't help my fibroid condition one bit, I knew I had to have a go. I tried to keep secret the fact that I had had a third fibroid operation so near to the Games. But the News of the World printed the story.

In hindsight, perhaps by going to LA, I did the wrong thing. I did have a lot of trouble afterwards, until January of the next year. It has never been reported in the press.

But because of Helsinki, I was down as the favourite, according to the British press. They said I had a good chance at winning gold. Also I was throwing better than Tessa Sanderson. No one had any hope for Tessa. The press kept ignoring her and interviewing me. Tessa, I hear, was not pleased, especially when it was reported that her Olympic prospects were nil or poor. The British press, who had reported her career so vociferously, felt it was ending. Now the press had their eyes on me. They felt I was on my way up, and she on her way down. Tessa was twenty-eight, five years older than I was, but her age was no disadvantage. Javelin throwers mature like wine.

My only edge was that I was getting better with every throw. After those thorny European Championships in Athens, I replaced her as the British number one in the javelin rankings, a spot she had held unchallenged for a decade. I knew I had a reasonable chance at a medal, even in my weakened state, and knew I would never forgive myself if I put the Olympics on hold for another four years.

Tessa was going, despite the fact that the press had told her to her face that she was past it. This was unfair. Even I felt sympathy. Because at the height of her career, in 1980, Tessa had failed to qualify for the Moscow Olympic final, now some of the tabloid toughies suggested that it was a foregone conclusion that Tessa would fail in LA. But I knew she had been training hard and she had a lot of bulk on her, a lot of muscle. She was two inches taller than me and on the eve of the Olympic final, for which both of us had qualified, she outweighed me by a stone. I had to give her credit. She was all muscle.

LA, the smog capital of the world, was choking, nearly as hot as Athens and more humid. Physically the weather was annoying. Technically, it was fascinating. Because humidity expands the javelin and gives it lift, that high humidity could, particularly if there was a little wind, make for record-shattering throws.

But the final was not until early evening, when the stadium had cooled off. Not a lot mind you, just a bit. There was a hint of a breeze. I knew that my throw would have to be high and dead centre to float the javelin on so tepid a current of air.

This time, to my amazement, it was Tessa who threw down the gauntlet on her first throw. Running fast, holding the javelin high, she hurled it hard. I could see at once from the angle of release that it would be a long throw. But would it be long enough to do any damage?

The javelin plopped to the ground at the 69.56-metre mark. That was impressive. I was excited for Tessa, honestly. I also felt a twinge of sadness. Then I remembered, I had five more rounds to beat it. So did the world champion Tiina Lillak, who now held her second world javelin record, and who was at the time, without a doubt, the best thrower of the three of us. But Tiina, who was walking gingerly, was suffering from a stress fracture of her foot which was disastrous for her run-up.

In the second round, I inched closer with 65.42 metres, still no danger at all.

Then Tiina gritted her teeth and let go a knockout throw, which landed just short of victory, at 69.00. One more and she might have made it, but Tiina had made her ankle hurt and took no more throws.

I kept trying. On my fifth throw I moved into bronze medal position with 67.14. I had felt weak throughout the competition. There was only one more throw; I knew I had to make it count. To be perfectly honest, I didn't mind losing to Tiina, a great champion in her prime, but I hated the idea of losing at this late date to Tessa Sanderson.

The floodlights went on in the stadium. The crowd was as tense as I was, even though it was an American crowd, and there was no American in the running. Holding the javelin aloft, I ran with it, and let it go. But at the moment I let go, I knew it was not the throw I wanted. It would fall short.

Tessa was the Olympic champion. Not only had she set an Olympic record, she had become the first British woman and the first black woman of any nationality to win an Olympic throwing event. A disappointed Tiina had won silver. I had to make do with bronze. There was no way I could feel delighted. I could not help myself. I cried again with the cameras watching. But that was in the heat of the moment. Pulling myself together I went out and congratulated Tessa. Her achievement was tremendous, and my own was not dreadfully bad. I was now an Olympian. My bronze medal would always be there in the Olympic annals.

Later, as Tessa, Tiina and I stood together on the victory podium, medals hanging like necklaces around our necks, the sound of our national anthem being played and seeing Tessa crying touched me. I just had to reach up and give her a little tweak on the cheek. Touching her cheek like that, spontaneously, was a gesture of affection. An accolade. We were both Brits, we had known each other a long time. Her joy, her big smile, brighter than a toothpaste advert, was contagious. At that moment I felt happy for her. But even as Tessa cried for joy, Tiina's disappointment brimmed over, and tears streamed down her cheek.

That reminded me of my own disappointment. I had wanted gold. If I hadn't had to have that third operation so close to the Olympics who knows what would have happened? Similarly, if Tiina hadn't been injured, and if the East Germans hadn't boycotted the Olympics - if Petra Felke had been there - what would the outcome have been? But sport is about who is best on the day. It had been Tessa's day. I would just have to wait for another chance, four years, until the next Olympics in Seoul in 1988.

Four years seemed a long time to me, but I had no idea that such a lot could happen in the interim. In 1985, when Tessa and I competed for the first time after the Olympics, at Gateshead, I easily beat her by almost 15 feet with a throw of 225 feet 10 inches (68.84 metres). But after the javelin competition verbal darts began to fly. We had been friendly rivals; now there was a lot of nastiness.

There were the ups and downs of competition after that, mostly ups. Then something entirely unpredictable, something terrible happened in December.

Title: BARBARA The Laughter and Tears of a Cockney Sparrow Author: Barbara Windsor Publisher: Century Date: 1990 B Barbara Windsor (first person narrator) C Ronald Fraser G Peter Rogers J Gerald Thomas K Kenneth Williams L Sid James M hairdresser from The Devils O Vannessa Redgrave U Charles Hawtrey W Charles Hawtrey's mum X unknown Y Joan Sims Z Stanley Baxter
4

Of the twenty-nine Carry Ons, I only did nine, yet I'm always remembered as the Carry On Girl. By the time I joined, the Carry On team - Kenneth Williams, Sid James, Charles Hawtrey, Kenneth Connor, Hattie Jacques and Joan Sims - were firm favourites with the British public. They were cartoon characters really, like the fat ladies and weedy men in the traditional seaside postcards. I was to become the busty floozy who tempts the weedy man away from his portly spouse. It was innocent titillation with emphasis on the tit!

My break came quite by chance. Ronald Fraser, who I'd met on Crooks in Cloisters, invited me to Pinewood Studios for lunch, while he was making a film called The Beauty Jungle. Pinewood's restaurant, I must tell you, is quite palatial, all wood panels and chandeliers. I'd arranged to meet Ronnie Fraser in the bar, which is at the far end of the restaurant. As I walked through the restaurant, I never guessed I was under surveillance by the producer and director of the Carry On series, Peter Rogers and Gerald Thomas, who were looking for a bubbly blonde to replace Liz Fraser.

'Barbara isn't a sex symbol,' Peter Rogers said, 'she's a body, a bosom and a joke.' Thanks a lot, Peter. Anyway I got the job.

17 The Carry On scene everyone remembers is where I lost my bikini top in Carry On Camping. It was mid-November, freezing cold and pouring with rain. We were all ankle-deep in mud. Just to add to our misery, the special-effects people sprayed the mud green to make it look like summer time.

'I can't go on like this,' I told Gerald Thomas, 'Look at my feet. They're sinking!'

'I wouldn't be employing you if they were looking at your feet,' he replied.

I took my place in the line-up of girls representing the Chaste Place Finishing School for Young Ladies. We were doing keep-fit exercises under the supervision of our PT instructor, Kenneth Williams.

'Come along, Barbara, stretch out your arms, and fling, and in, and fling, and in, and . . . oooh!' My bikini top, unable to take the strain any longer, burst at the back, whizzed through the air and wrapped itself round Kenny's mush.

But, of course, in reality that didn't happen of its own accord. A fishing line was attached to my bikini top, while Bert, an elderly prop man, wielded the rod. You can just imagine them breaking the news to him: ''Ere Bert, we want you to take Barbara Windsor's bra off!' As the cameras rolled, Bert jerked the rod and started to reel in. My top didn't budge. 'Stop, Bert, stop!' I shouted, but he must have been hard of hearing because he kept on reeling in and I was dragged through the mud on my arse. Covered from head to toe in mud, and freezing cold, I could hear Gerald rapping out his orders: 'Get 'er up and mop 'er down. Let's go for another take!' We had no choice but to get on with it.

When at last we'd got it right, I joined Kenny as we paddled our way back to our trailers. Kenny started winding me up: 'It's a disgrace. It's an absolute disgrace!' I could contain my rage no longer: 'They treat you like a load of shit. We've never had a rise. I tell you, I'll never make another Carry On film!'

'Quite right, duckie' said Kenny.

Next day we saw the rushes. And, of course, they looked great. As the screen darkened and we got up to leave, I heard my voice loud and clear. I could feel my face changing colour. 'They treat you like a load of . . .' Everything I'd said the previous day was on tape! Kenny had forgotten to switch off the microphone round his neck - or that's what he said.

When I arrived for my next film Gerald said, 'Who's treating you like a load of shit then?'

When we'd started making Carry On Camping I'd tried to get away from my chirpy Cockney image. I played a rebellious pupil at the Chaste Place school for girls, and my opening scene took place in the shower room. I was meant to spy a peeping tom through a hole in the cubicle wall and squirt toothpaste into the hole, shouting 'Get away, you filthy snooper!' In the rehearsal I used a well-bred sort of voice, but things turned out differently when we came to shoot it. As soon as I saw this bulging eyeball ogling me I drew back and screamed 'Get aht of it, you dirty snooper' in my coarsest accent. From then on I was lumbered with the old Windsor rasp. I said to Kenny Williams, 'Oh blimey, I meant to play it posh!'

I always hated having to strip off. You'd never believe how quickly word got around when we were filming a saucy scene. One minute there was a handful of technicians, the next it was like a football match, with everyone jostling for position. It reached a point where I had to demand a closed set. 'Out you go, fellas,' I'd say. Nothing came undone until I was convinced only the director and the cameraman remained.

On one occasion when I'd finished my little strip, I happened to look up and there, perched in the rafters was a technician. He'd climbed up 50 feet just to get a bird's eye view of my boobs. I hope it was worth it!

When we were filming Carry on Henry I had to drop my dressing gown for a rear view shot, and I was making my usual big thing about clearing the set. Sid James had a go at Terry Scott for lingering. 'Come on, you, have some respect,' he said. As I came off, shaking from having had to flash my left buttock, I met a hairdresser from the neighbouring set, where Ken Russell was making The Devils. He said they were doing some pretty spicy stuff, orgies and the like, and he took me along to see what was going on. I peeped on to the set: it was full of technicians, cameramen, carpenters, a donkey and a monk having a wank under his cowl. And there was Vanessa Redgrave, stretched out on a slab, with the lights full on. Vanessa didn't bat an eyelid, and a moment later she was breezing past saying, 'I've got to fetch Jolyon from school'.

Stripping wasn't the only hazard facing me. I was Dick Turpin's sidekick in Carry On Dick, so I had to ride a horse. I was terrified of horses and I couldn't stand sitting astride them. I hated the feel of it between my legs. The director said, 'Can you ride?'

I said, 'Yes, let's do it. Don't let's rehearse, let's just do it!' You can still see the fear in my eyes.

In Carry On Girls I made the mistake of telling Gerald Thomas I could ride a motorbike. As I stood in all the black leather clobber, waiting for the director to shout 'Action!', Sid James asked me if I knew what I was doing.

'Course I do, it's like riding a bicycle, isn't it? You just get on and drive off.'

'Gawd, it's got gears and everything. You've got a lot of bottle, you have.'

It was a bit silly, I suppose, but I don't like people knowing I can't do something. I'd rather hurt myself than admit defeat.

I knew if I started thinking about it, I would have time to get nervous. I got on the bike, shoved it into gear and headed straight for a thick mattress Sid had had set up for me.

Another scene in Carry On Girls had me pushing one of my rivals for a beauty contest off a donkey and having a proper old wrestling match. At the end of the day's filming we'd only got half the shot, and the donkey had crapped everywhere. In the morning I said, 'You don't expect me to roll around in all that!'

'It's got to stay for continuity,' said Gerald.

'Sod the continuity!'

But, of course, it stayed.

The Carry Ons only had a six-week shooting schedule, so there was never any time to waste. It was a running joke at Pinewood that by the end of the first day's shooting we'd be an hour ahead of schedule and by the end of the first week, we'd be a whole week ahead. Gerald seldom allowed more than two takes. It wasn't Shakespeare; nobody analysed what they were doing, they just did it. We had to be there early, know the script backwards, cause no aggravations and endure all kinds of awful weather in order to finish on time. It was like going back to school.

The camaraderie among the team was great, though. I can picture them all sitting around on the set in between takes. Sid would be playing poker with the technicians, Charlie would sit by himself smoking his Woodbines, Hattie would do The Times crossword, and the others would gather round Kenny as he held court. 'Did you hear the one about the Canon with no balls?' he'd say. He'd tell the same stories over and over, but he'd always find a new way of telling it and making it hilarious again.

Then sometimes he'd try to embarrass me about my latest boyfriend: 'What's the size of his cock?' he'd say, or: 'Do you do everything? And then do you have to have it off with Ronnie when you get 'ome?' He was always teasing me. He used to say, 'Ooooh, Windsor, you smell so loveleee!' Once during filming he even claimed I gave him an erection: 'Oooh, she's given me the 'arf 'ard!' he said to the technicians.

As much as I loved Kenny Williams, I'd have to say Charles Hawtry was the best comic of the team. His timing was immaculate. It must have been all those years he spent making films with Will Hay. Like most of my Carry On mates, I met Charlie for the first time on Carry On Spying.

As spies, we were captured and held over a vat of boiling oil to make us divulge our identities. There were doubles and stand-ins on call, but Gerald preferred us to do our own stunts. It was a tricky scene to do, and when I'd unstrapped myself, I looked behind me to say something to Charlie.

'Gawd, he's fainted!' I yelled. We got him down and saw that his eyes were glazed and he was white as a sheet.

'Brandy, get him some brandy.'

'You're joking,' exclaimed Gerald. 'That's what's done it . . . the bleedin' brandy!'

I didn't know Charlie had a drink problem, did I? I soon learned, though. We came to know when he was pissed: he'd be very grand, arriving with his chauffeur carrying a crate of R White's lemonade. There were always one or two occasions on every film when he got really pie-eyed and would pass out. When that happened they would shoot round him. An hour or so later Charlie would come round and throw up. Once, I took over a bucket when he was throwing up in a corner everyone else was ignoring it. But Charlie seemed to resent it. 'Oh why don't you piss off,' he said, 'you're always trying to be so kind and good to everyone.' It was so sad to see this wonderful comic actor, who I admired so much, ruining his life with booze.

Charlie had a hard time looking after his mother who suffered from senile dementia. He brought her to the studios every day and looked after her like a baby. He used to lock her in the dressing room when he was required on set. One day he forgot to turn the key and she got out. We were coming back from a take and we could hear this rasping voice echoing through the corridors. 'Have you seen my Charlie? I've got his tea ready and he hasn't come home from school yet!' We turned a corner and there was Charlie's old mum quizzing Sir John Gielgud.

Sadly Charlie misbehaved once too often, and, as a consequence, he was never used again.

We had some members of the public on the set during a scene in which Joan and Kenny were in bed together. I think they were quite shocked to hear Kenny passing wind rather loudly.

'How dare you!' exclaimed Joan. 'How do you expect an actress to work with you doing things like that!'

'I'll have you know Rudolph Valentino used to fart and his leading ladies never dared complain,' said Kenny.

Joan said, 'Yes, but they were silent movies.'

I'm sure the visitors thought it was all part of the script.

You didn't choose Kenny as a friend; he chose you. I felt very privileged to be numbered among his closest friends. He always used to say he liked me because I was the only one of the Carry On team who cleaned her teeth after lunch!

He had some funny ways. You couldn't phone him between nine and ten because that was when he was 'doing his ablutions' or cleaning the toilet; he was obsessed with his bowels. He had very few close friends and he could only deal with us one at a time. Stanley Baxter, who was a great friend of Kenny's, said he was sitting in a restaurant once when in walked Kenny with Maggie Smith. He took one look at Stanley and said, 'Come on, Maggie, we'll go somewhere else.' And he used to take against people for no reason. Joan Sims and he were great mates, but one day he said to me: 'Joan is so fucking suburban.'

So you never knew quite how to take him. He said to me, 'If you ever leave Ronnie, will you come and live with me?' Before I could open my mouth, he added, 'Mind you, there'd be no sex!'

Title: The Benny Hill Story Author: John Smith Date: 1988 Publisher: W H Allen B Benny Hill C Dennis Kirkland G Bob Monkhouse J Max Bygraves K an MP L Tour group courier M American tourists O the mad gardener P Chris Dunkley Q Chris Dunkley's mother R Leonard Buckley U a crowd of singing porters W "people who want to be scriptwriters" X unknown Y "assorted scriptwrites" Z "Benny's contemporaries in the entertainment world"
Behind the Scenes PACKED FULL OF American tourists, the big bus edged slowly down the narrow road alongside the River Thames in Teddington, just outside London.

Eager with anticipation, faces peered excitedly out of the coach windows as they cruised cautiously down Broom Road until, suddenly, the magic moment was upon them.

'And here it is, ladies and gentlemen,' said the tour group courier, talking triumphantly into a microphone with the air of a man about to arrive at some hitherto unattainable journey's end.

He pointed proudly past a uniformed security guard on duty at the nondescript entrance to what looked like a large industrial estate.

'Thames Television studios, home of the Benny Hill Show.'

In an instant the bus was ablaze with the flash of several dozen cameras going off together. As the bus slowed, the American visitors scrambled to get off for a closer view of the studios and the chance to take even more photographs to show the envious folks back home. 'Along with Buckingham Palace and the Tower of London, our Teddington studios appear to be well and truly on the American tourist route,' laughs Dennis Kirkland, producer and director of the Benny Hill Show. 'Hampton Court is only just up the road. So they do that in the morning, then head here.

'They know all about the Benny Hill Show from seeing it on television in the States. And they all want to see the very spot where the programmes are made. It's almost like a pilgrimage.'

Had this particular bus-load of trans-Atlantic pilgrims not been so busy capturing the somewhat featureless scene on colour film they might have noticed a small, sandy-haired man carrying a plastic bag full of shopping slip quietly through a side gate.

With a friendly nod to the commissionaire, the new arrival disappeared quickly through the main door, smiling slightly to himself at the antics of the Americans who were now bombarding the security man at the front gate with questions about just which building was the actual home of the Benny Hill Show and pleading to be allowed just the briefest of peeks inside.

The man with the plastic bag made his way to a modest dressing room in Studio One, dumped his shopping on the table and hung up his jacket behind the door.

From his pockets he took a bundle of handwritten notes, scribbled on scraps of paper.

Benny Hill was ready for work.

'Benny's not the kind to sweep up to the studio in a huge limousine like some showbiz superstar,' explained Dennis Kirkland, a former floor manager who has been producing the show for seven years and is one of Benny's' few close friends.

'Of course we offer to lay on a car to bring him out to Teddington. But more often than not he prefers to make his own way out here, often walking the last few miles and doing a bit of shopping en route.'

Benny's contemporaries in the entertainment world can never get used to the idea of Britain's highest paid TV performer walking to work. 'There was a time when Max Bygraves was driving to the studios in his Rolls-Royce when he saw Benny trudging down Teddington High Street with a bag full of groceries,' recalls Kirkland, an amiable character in sweater and jeans.

'Max stopped his car and yelled: "What's the matter, Benny, too skint to afford a cab?"'

While Benny's deliberately low key arrival to start making a new series may seem somewhat incongruous for a millionaire entertainer whose programmes are shown all over the world, it is typical of the workaday beginnings from which a Benny Hill Show is produced.

For this is no Hollywood-style production in which batteries of scriptwriters and assorted ideas men sit earnestly closeted for months on end dreaming up new material for The Star.

Producer Kirkland well remembers that the origins of one Benny Hill Show lay in the arrival on his desk of a dog-eared piece of cardboard covered with what looked like Egyptian hieroglyphics.

'It was one of those cardboard stiffeners you get inside a new shirt,' Dennis recalled. 'And it was smothered with almost incomprehensible scribbles in Benny's handwriting, which is not very good at the best of times. At first we thought it was some kind of secret code, but then we deciphered a note from Benny scrawled down the side.

'It explained that he had been sitting outside a cafe in Madrid when he suddenly got this idea for a sketch about a Chinese waiter. What Chinese waiters have got to do with Spain we never did discover.

'Anyway, when Benny got back to his hotel he wrote it all down on this piece of cardboard and stuck it in the post. The dialogue was all this jokey flied lice, lookeee-lookeee-me-no-likeee Chinese chat, which is why we had such a job unscrambling it.

'In the end we managed to make some sense of it. And it turned into a brilliant sketch.'

Benny's impulsive habit of writing down an idea as soon as it strikes him has resulted in numerous notions arriving at the Teddington studios jotted down on anything from a Malaysian restaurant menu to a Bangkok beer mat.

'He'll scribble something down on a cigarette packet and send THAT to me if he can't find anything else to write on,' says Dennis, 'and he always carries a newspaper with him, so he can scribble in the margins.'

Such ideas are buzzing through Benny's brain months before a new show goes into production. Some of his best material is dreamed up while he is sitting outside a Continental cafe on holiday, surveying the passing scene. The antics of a strolling guitarist in Spain or a harassed gendarme in Paris could well provide the inspiration for a sketch which will eventually end up on the TV screen.

Over the years such observations have given birth to the never-ending procession of madcap characters who march through the Benny Hill Shows. Mr Chow Mein, the 'sirry irriot' Chinaman gives way to Mervyn Cruddy, the perennial talk show bore. Professor Otto Stumpf, the old Bavarian buffer inspired by Benny's wartime service in Germany, is followed by Pierre de Terre, the avant-garde French film director.

A white-coated Scottish doctor with a meandering mind lectures earnestly on the vagaries of the human race: 'I once knew a native girl. All she wore was 11 beads, and eight of them were perspiration. She didn't tell me she had a glass eye - it came out in conversation. Her feet were so big, she had to go to the crossroads to turn round.'

The bowler-hatted loon extolling the benefits of 'a nice genital way of life' is replaced by a straw-chewing village idiot intoning: 'They've got a new vicar up at St Paul's. He don't half talk a lot of . . . nonsense.'

In between, the brave boys of the Lower Tidmarsh Fire Brigade rescue scantily clad maidens from burning buildings and a choir of singing railway porters steam their way through Widdicombe Fair ('old Uncle Tom Cobblers and all').

And at every turn is the ubiquitous Fred Scuttle, constantly at our service with his peaked cap crazily askew, eager eyes blinking madly through wire-rimmed glasses and fingers enthusiastically splayed in a ragged salute.

Fred Scuttle, too, was born out of Benny's military service - he had to wear similar little round glasses as a driver during the war. Scuttle made his first appearance, as a test pilot in a wheelbarrow factory, on one of Benny's BBC shows in 1956.

Garnished with Benny's wit and inventiveness, the most insignificant incident can turn into an eminently workable idea for television. On one occasion, Benny was listening to a band in Kensington Gardens in London when he noticed a young woman relaxing with her eyes closed, dreamily conducting the band with one finger.

It gave rise to a sketch where everyone in the park was playing some imaginary instrument, led by a conductor with his eyes closed using a newspaper as a baton.

'I'm so busy scribbling things down that in restaurants I'm often mistaken for one of those undercover spies from The Good Food Guide,' admits Benny. 'But when an idea hits you, you MUST write it down, otherwise it can go out of your head. I'm never without a pen, and I'll reach for the nearest scrap of paper when I need to make a note.

'When people who want to be scriptwriters say to me "I've got a few ideas I'd like to discuss," I always say: write them down.

'I might spend 26 hours on a plane travelling to Australia. But that doesn't worry me. I take my exercise books, and on each line I write something. If it takes more than one line, it's probably not worth doing.'

It is from this rag-bag of vague ideas, partly written sketches and one-word suggestions for a few seconds of visual 'business' that the internationally acclaimed Benny Hill Show begins to take shape.

Some of the jokes date back to his boyhood, remembered from the days when his father used to take him to the music-hall in Southampton and honeymoon sketches were very much in vogue.

'Just Married' says the large label on bridegroom Benny's suitcase in one of his TV skits. 'And Don't You Forget It' reads a similar label on the luggage of his hatchet-faced 'bride'.

'He has an amazing memory for gags,' says producer Kirkland. 'And he never wastes anything. He will save a gag for years, waiting for the right slot to put it in.'

This ability to re-cycle material in different ways so as to wring every last chuckle out of it is not lost on his professional colleagues.

Comedian Bob Monkhouse, who has no mean memory for jokes himself, recalls writing for the radio show Calling All Forces back in 1951 when Benny, then an up-and-coming comic, appeared with film star Diana Dors and funnyman Arthur Askey.

'Benny did patter gags in that show,' says Bob. 'Some 10 years later I saw him on TV delivering the same series of jokes in exactly the same order, only this time they were in a song. He had taken the gags and woven them into a lyric.

'I have noticed he does this again and again, reworking the same basic ideas. I have sat there dumbstruck with admiration at the switches he has pulled.

'And why shouldn't he? Good gags are like jewels.'

Max Bygraves, another entertainer who has watched Benny develop over more than 40 years, is similarly impressed. 'He's a very fine comedian,' says Max. 'What arouses me is how he can keep permutating the same dozen gags.'

Benny himself is the first to admit that many of his jokes are re-worked gems from the past. Once asked to reveal his favourite joke, he trotted out the well-worn tale of the Member of Parliament who was visiting a mental home and was amazed to discover that a beautifully designed flower bed was the work of an inmate.

'I can't believe there is anything mentally wrong with someone like you who can do such wonderful work,' the MP told the patient. 'I shall arrange for your immediate discharge and get you a job as a gardener somewhere outside.'

As the MP hurried off to the hospital offices, he was suddenly knocked almost unconscious by a brick thrown by the inmate. 'Don't forget, will you?' asked the grinning gardener.

While fellow professionals may be understandingly tolerant of a comic who can give old material a new shine, those less personally concerned with the difficulties of creating new scripts are not always so charitable.

Television critic Chris Dunkley groaned with displeasure when Benny insisted on reviving one particular old chestnut in one of his early shows for Thames Television.

Writing in The Times, Dunkley commented: 'When I was about four my mother managed to reduce me to an almost hysterical fit of giggling by promising to show me her new water otter and then producing a kettle.

'Benny Hill trotted out the same joke in the first of his new series on Thames, and somehow its age and weakness, almost its senility, seemed to serve as a touchstone for the entire show.'

Yet, only a short while later, it was this very ability to dust off well-used items and put them back in the comedy shop window which intrigued another Times writer, Leonard Buckley.

'Benny Hill's routines remain the same,' Buckley acknowledged. 'There is nothing extraordinary about them. He sings. He recites. He takes part in a sketch. Where he scores is the inventiveness with which he invests the same old thing.

'When he comes home in the sketch to discover the other man he is at once a master of outrage: "He's got my individual fruit pie!" When he comes to his recitation he is the countryman using the humans to explain to his son about the birds and the bees.

'Of course Benny Hill can be saucy. But it is all disarmingly done. "I don't believe in that sort of thing before marriage and I'm not sure about it afterwards either," he told us primly in one scene.

'After that reassurance he could have pinched Mrs Grundy's bottom and still have had her, like the rest of us, shaking with mirth.'

Title: IN OTHER WORDS … DAVID BOWIE, Edited by Kerry Juby B David Bowie C Margaret Jones (née Burns) [David's mother] G Howard Stenton Jones [David's father] J George Underwood K the American Embassy L Brian Lane M Vic Furlong O Ronnie Ross P Les Conn R John Bloom U Mr Frampton W careers officer X unknown Y some early press releases Z the people at John Bloom's wedding
HIGH SCHOOL HIGHS

In 1946 Howard Stenton Jones set up home with Margaret Burns in Stanstead Road, Brixton, along with Terry, Margaret's son from her previous marriage.

&bquo;We had a tough time in those days,&equo; recalled Mrs Jones, &bquo;the post war years were no party for anyone, and we were no exception. David was born on 8th January (1947). The midwife said to me, &bquo;This child has been on this earth before&equo; and I thought that was rather an odd thing to say, but the midwife seemed quite adamant.

When he was about 3 years old, he put on make-up for the first time. We had tenants in the house and one day he went missing upstairs and found a bag of lipstick, eye-liner and face powder, and decided it would be a good idea to plaster his face with it. When I finally found him he looked for all the world like a clown. I told him that he shouldn't use make-up, but he said, &bquo;You do, Mummy&equo;. I agreed, but pointed out that it wasn't for little boys.&equo;

David was 4½ when he first went to school and not unlike most mothers Mrs Jones was upset at not having him around the house. He proved to be independent, even at this early age. When his mother took him to school on the first day, he decided from then onwards he could make his own way to school and didn't hesitate in telling his mother just that.

At his first school, Stockwell Junior School, David dressed up for the first time in a school nativity play. Mrs Jones recalls, &bquo;I made him a robe and head-dress and his father made him a crook. He was mad about it — he absolutely loved it — it was then that we began to realise there was something in David.&equo;

In those days there was no television, but David, according to his mother, made the most of radio. &bquo;If there was anything that caught his ear, he would tell everyone to be quiet and listen, and then fling himself about to the music. In those days we thought he might be a ballet dancer&equo;.

From Stockwell Junior School, Davis attended Burnt Ash Primary School. By now the Jones' had moved to Plaistow Grove, Sundridge Park, Bromley, a small leafy dormitory area on the outskirts of London. It was around this time that he met George Underwood who was to become a lifelong friend.

George Underwood: &bquo;I don't know what year it was — I think it was the year when Tom Hark was No.1 (1958 Ed.) — but we went to the Isle of Wight with the 18th Bromley Scouts (we were in the Cubs then). It was a skiffle group basically. We had a double bass, tea chest/broom handle/gut and a ukelele, and we did &bquo;Gambling Man&equo; and &bquo;Cumberland Gaol&equo; and a few of the old Lonnie Donegan things, and that was David's first public appearance, on the Isle of Wight. From what I remember, we went down quite well and it was the beginning of quite an interesting career for the young Mr Jones.&equo;

In those days most kids listened to Buddy Holly and followed football or cricket, but David was different, even then. He used to listen to American Football on the American Forces Network and was so enthused with it that he wrote to the American Embassy, who invited him to visit them for the day.

George Underwood: &bquo;It was all instigated by David really, because he had been listening to the World Service on the radio and suddenly got the bug to get involved in American Football, and he wrote to the American Embassy asking for more information. They got the impression that he was well into it but, in fact, it was only about a week before that he'd started to get interested. I think it was the glamour or the aesthetics of the American football player. They made our football players look a bit weak because of all the big shoulder pads and everything. Anyway, the Embassy wrote back to him asking whether he'd like to visit — I went along with him. At the end of the day, they presented David with a complete baseball outfit, padded shoulders, football helmet, which he proudly brought to school the following day. It was quite amazing really because we'd never seen any of these things before. You can just imagine this little boy in the playground, when everyone else is kicking a soccer ball, dressed with big padded shoulders and a helmet and an American football — it was quite bizarre really.

I think he was very much into the magic of America. The certain mystique it had was much more than just Cowboys and Indians on television. He had a period that he went through just reading books on America. Even at that age, he was listening to Charlie Mingus and people like that. Not that I thought he understood the music that much, but it was the image of he people behind the music, because people like Charlie Mingus are quite characters. It's quite well known that Little Richard was one of David's idols, but there's a lot of other American people who interested David, as much from the image point of view as the music.&equo;

David's step-brother, Terry, was also a great influence on David in the early years. When David was 8, Terry was 16, frequenting jazz cellars and introducing David to writers like Jack Kerouac and Allen Ginsberg.

At the age of 11, David transferred to Bromley Technical High School. Although he passed his 11-plus he chose to go to a technical school as it would be more art orientated.

George Underwood: &bquo;I remember when we were at Bromley Tech, we would experiment with telepathy. We would arrange to be something at a particular time in the evening and then the following day we would compare our thoughts. It was uncanny how, on so many occasions, our thoughts were similar.&equo;

Brian Lane (schoolteacher): &bquo;One thing I remember about David was something that he didn't take part in, which was a concert held at the school in aid of a pavilion that was being put up by the parents and teachers, and being paid for by them. So popular was this concert that there was no admission charge, only a collection, as it went on for two evenings, but strangely enough, David didn't offer to take part, although George Underwood did and he had a very popular group called George and the Dragons at the time. However, later David did come and see me to ask if his group could play on the school steps at the PTA fête which was to be held in the summer, so I suppose that was one of his first public engagements with his group. He was delighted to have the opportunity to do it. I also recall that at least on one or two occasions, he'd dyed his hair which was almost unheard of in the early 60's. However, some way or other, it was always washed out the next day and back to normal.&equo;

In common with most teenagers, David took a couple of part-time jobs, one riding around on a pushbike with a basket on the front for a butcher, and another working for a record shop owned by Vic Furlong.

George Underwood: &bquo;I remember how we used to hang around on Saturday listening to records. We'd never buy anything. In fact it was from Vic Furlong's shop that David bought his first saxaphone. He couldn't play it at the time, but it made some really great noises. When he saw the saxaphone he told his father about it and his father said that if he could save half the money, he would make up the other half.&equo;

Vic Furlong: &bquo;He was always a bit of a dreamer in that I'd give him a job to do, come back in about an hour and he was still chatting, the job unfinished, so he had to go. He was a nice enough lad. In fact, at the time I was involved with Bromley Theatre, and as some of his interest lay in this field, he wanted me to arrange an introduction. But he was a bit of a dreamer — so he had to go.&equo;

Having acquired his first saxaphone, David got in touch with jazz saxophonist,Ronnie Ross, after finding his telephone number in the 'phone book.

Ronnie Ross: &bquo;At the time he came to see me for lessons, groups like The Rolling Stones were just beginning to come into vogue although he was more interested in jazz, and we'd sit and talk about jazz and jazz musicians quite often. He didn't talk about groups he was involved with but I did know that he was playing with a group. He was quite an average sort of pupil, nothing out of the ordinary, and I certainly didn't expect him to become what he is today.&equo;

George Underwood: &bquo;We had periods when we would bring a guitar into school, particularly when it was raining. It was what you called a &bquo;wet break&equo; and you weren't allowed to go outside. There was a stairway leading from our form room which had good acoustics and we'd sit there on the steps, and I'd be playing guitar and David would be singing. We did Buddy Holly stuff and Everly Brothers. He was a good harmonizer and still is. He was studying to be a commercial artist and when he was in Mr Frampton's art class (this was Peter Frampton's father) in his later tears at Bromley tech, Frampton lectured the form on how he would not tolerate tapered trousers.&equo;

Margaret Jones: &bquo;I remember David asked me to get my dressmaker to taper his trousers and before long other members of his form were also getting me to taper their trousers, so I suppose in a way I was almost helping them to rebel against Mr Frampton.&equo;

George Underwood: &bquo;When you leave school, you have to queue up and see a career's officer and I remember I was standing right behind David in the queue and asked him what sort of job he was going to say he was looking for. &bquo;A saxophonist in a modern jazz quartet&equo; came the reply. The careers officer offered him a job in a harp factory in Bromley!&equo;

David left school with 2 GCE 'O' level passes, in Art and Woodwork, and the school found him a job as a junior with a commercial art company, The Design Group Ltd., and although some early press releases said that David was expelled from school, the record shows that he left two or three days early to start the job.

Margaret Jones: &bquo;He only took the job for his father's sake because his father thought that all this business with groups and music could well be a passing fad and that at least if he spent a year or two at work, it would give him some stable grounding to fall back on. So David did go to work there, though not without protest. I can remember him coming home and moaning about his &bquo;blooming job&equo; and travelling up and down on the train.&equo;

It was 1963 and as David started his new job, &bquo;Mersey Mania&equo; was taking its stranglehold on the charts with The Beatles, Gerry and the Pacemakers, Freddie and The Dreamers; everything with a Liverpudlian accent tasted success. Soon David left his job and, along with George Underwood, formed a band called The King Bees.

George Underwood: &bquo;David was always a bit over the top and he decided to write to John Bloom, a millionaire business, saying something to the effect &bquo;Brian Epstein has got The Beatles but you can have us&equo;, but Bloom wasn't that interested and passed his letter to Les Conn, an agent.&equo;

Les Conn: &bquo;The problem was John (Bloom) didn't know anybody in the music business except myself because I was quite well-known at that time in Tin Pan Alley. Bloom got on to me and said he had received a letter from this young. cheeky so-and-so and to give him an audition and see what he was like — which I did — and was quite impressed. I got in touch with Bloom and said that I thought the guy had talent and Bloom told me that he was having a wedding anniversary party in Soho, which is in the centre of London, and to give the group £20 and see what he was like. &bquo;You cheap-skate,&equo; I said, what sort of millionaire are you? You could at least give them about £100 to pay for their expense.

Anyway, at the party, there was the aristocracy of the land and quite a lot of celebrities and of course, David and his group turned up in scruffy jeans.&equo;

George Underwood: &bquo;When we arrived, everyone was rather dressed up and we wore jeans, we were rather shabby looking and got some funny looks. The first number we did was &bquo;I've Got My Mojo Working&equo; and the people in there weren't quite sure what was going on. We didn't exactly get the bird but they just couldn't handle it — they didn't know what sort of music we were playing. We were pretty much trying to emulate a lot of the early black blues sound. With my guitar, I was trying to sound like Lightning Hopkins and John Lee Hooker and people like this, and we just thought … &bquo;this sounds OK&equo;, and it didn't sound too bad at the time. So we were doing this music which was away from the pop stuff that was around. Now &bquo;I've Got My Mojo Working&equo; doesn't go down with everyone, but at that time there were a few people around who did like that kind of stuff, and we were hopefully appealing to them.&equo;

Les Conn: &bquo;Well, of course, the people weren't prepared for that kind of entertainment and they all put their hands over their ears, and Bloom started screaming, &bquo;Get them off, they're ruining my wedding party&equo;. So, when they'd finished performing I've Got My Mojo Working, I pointed out to David that these people didn't really appreciate their music and David, being the sensitive soul that he is, burst into tears. I told him not to worry and that I was quite impressed and would be interested in managing the band. That's how it began.&equo;

Title: The Prince of Wales Author: Jonathan Dimbleby Date: 1994 Publisher: Little, Brown B Prince Charles C the Prince's [skiing] party D the Federal Institute for Snow and Avalanche Research at Davos F the avalanche bulletin G Bruno Sprecher H Princess Diana J Charles, Sprecher, Charlie Palmer-Tomkinson and Sergeant Cadrovi K Patty Palmer-Tomkinson L Patricia Brabourne M the doctors [at L's side] O Charlie Palmer-Tomkinson P the Sun R James Whitaker S the Public Prosecutor of Graubunden T Chief of the Parsenn service U Major Hugh Lindsay [RIP] V "all those affected by the disaster" W the media X unknown Y Richard Aylard Z Philip Mackie
A month after the Serengeti safari, the Prince and the Princess flew to Klosters for a skiing holiday. It was their third trip together to the Prince's favourite haunt. On the second day of the holiday, 10 March 1988, the Princess, who had a severe cold, stayed in the chalet. There had been heavy snowfalls earlier in the week but the weather had cleared enough for the steeper runs to be reopened. In the morning, the Prince, accompanied by the Duchess of York, the Palmer-Tomkinsons, Major Hugh Lindsay (a former equerry to the Queen) and a Swiss policeman, Sergeant Cadrovi, skied on the Drostobel, one of the most demanding slopes at Klosters, before moving off to an even more testing run, the Gotschnawang, which had just been opened. During the morning, the Duchess had a heavy fall, ending up in a stream where she was soaked. Badly shaken, she was helped to the bottom of the run and thence, with icicles hanging from her hair, was taken to hospital for a medical examination to ensure that neither she nor the child in her womb had been damaged. She then joined the Princess at the chalet.

At lunch, the Prince's depleted party was joined by Bruno Sprecher, who, as one of the most experienced guides in the resort, had been hired to ski with the Duchess in the morning. With the Duchess confined to the chalet, the Prince's party invited him as a friend to join them for the afternoon. They decided to take the lift to the top station, the Gotschnagrat, and from there set off down the Haglamadd, an exceptionally testing unmarked descent which lay between the two runs they had skied in the morning.

They skied down to the entrance to a steep and narrow gully, the most difficult part of the run, hemmed in between a sheer rockface on one side and a precipice on the other. There they paused for breath. Suddenly they heard a great roar of noise. They looked up and saw gigantic slabs of snow, each the size of a large room, crashing down towards them. 'I've never forgotten the sound of it,' the Prince said later, 'the whole mountain apparently exploding outwards . . . vast blocks came crashing down past us . . .'

Charlie Palmer-Tomkinson was in the lead. He paused for Sprecher to take over. The guide shouted, 'Jump!' The Prince obeyed instinctively and reached a ledge on the other side of the gully. He stood there with Sprecher, Palmer-Tomkinson and the Swiss policeman, and looked round. 'I've never seen anything so terrifying in my life, this maelstrom went past, vast clouds of snow and I thought to myself "My God!" I mean the horror . . .' he recalled.'

It was obvious that Patty Palmer-Tomkinson and Hugh Lindsay had been swept away by the avalanche. In fact they had both been hurled over the precipice, falling vertically 400 feet before hitting the slope gain and tumbling a further 400 feet down the mountain, until they came to a halt, buried under the snow. Sprecher was the first down the slope and by the time the Prince had picked his way round the slope to join him, the guide had already located Patty Palmer-Tomkinson and was giving her mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. He had a spade and, together, he and the Prince managed to work her free. Sprecher then went off in earch of Lindsay, discovering his body a few metres away but three feet under the snow, his skull fractured. Meanwhile, the Prince worked to bring Patty Palmer-Tomkinson back to consciousness, talking to her, murmuring that all would be well, that help would soon be at hand, that the helicopter was on the way. Her face was blue and she was cold and at first there was no reaction. He carried on talking. As she slipped in and out of consciousness she could hear him and tried to formulate words in response, but she was unable to speak. 'I was hanging on every word, it as like a lifeline. He was so calm, so conversational. "The helicopter is coming. You'll be all right." " The Prince, who had remembered that when Patricia Brabourne's life was in the balance after the bomb blast at killed her father, it was the sound of the doctors talking at her bedside which she believed had saved her, and he did not stop talking until his friend was lifted on to the helicopter for the flight to the hospital. On arrival, she was rushed into intensive care, critically ill. After the body of Lindsay had been recovered, the rest of the party followed down the mountain.

Back at the chalet, the horror of what had happened began to sink in: Hugh Lindsay, a young man and a good friend, was suddenly no longer with them; Patty Palmer-Tomkinson was on the critical list; and the heir to the throne was only with them by the grace of God, spared by no more than a couple of seconds.

In the confusion, Charlie Palmer-Tomkinson, greatly shocked, sat in a corner, repeating that they should return to the slopes the next morning, insisting 'that is what Hugh would have wanted'. The Prince, who managed to contain his emotion, became obsessed with the urgent need to protect Sprecher from being pilloried by the media for leading them to disaster and to explain what had happened before false rumours began circulate. He resolved to address the press at once and say exactly what had happened. Philip Mackie, the Prince's press secretary, and Richard Aylard Commander Richard Aylard (1952- ), equerry to Princess of Wales 1985-88; assistant private secretary and comptroller to Prince and Princess of Wales 1988-91; private secretary and treasurer to Prince of Wales since 1991. (who had recently joined his staff as assistant private secretary) tried to divert him, fearful that he would break down in the stress of the moment or lose his temper with the media. They argued that any statement should be issued by Buckingham Palace. Eventually, he was persuaded at least to put his statement on paper before meeting the press.

When the Prince had finished his draft statement, he seemed calmer and agreed that Mackie should read it out for the media at the airport, where the grim atmosphere was given a touch of bathos by his poor eyesight, his Glasgow accent, and the Prince's hurried handwriting. However, it was typed out by the Duchess of York on the flight to London and published the following day: In order to dispel some of the wild and unreasonable rumours which may have arisen as a result of the tragic accident in which I and my friends were involved, I would like to clarify a few points. Firstly I would like to emphasise that all the members of my party, including myself, were skiing off the piste at our own risk. We all accepted, and always have done, that the mountains have to be treated with the greatest respect and not treated lightly. There is a special dimension to skiing off the piste which is hard to describe to those who may not have experienced it or may not wish to. My friend, Major Hugh Lindsay, who so tragically died in this appalling accident, shared these feelings to the full, and also understood that there is inevitably a risk involved . . . Avalanches are a natural phenomenon of the mountains and when it comes to avoiding them no one is infallible . . . I would like to stress that Herr Sprecher behaved throughout in the most exemplary fashion and was instrumental in saving Mrs Palmer-Tomkillson's life. Not only is he a friend of mine, but by the way in which he operated, he did honour to the noble profession of which he is a member. We shall always be grateful to him. Before he left Klosters, the Prince went to see Patty Palmer-Tomkinson. She was still in intensive care, her breathing supported by a ventilator. She had multiple fractures to her thighs, her knees, her lower legs and ankles, but her neck and her back had been spared serious injury. She would remain in hospital for many weeks to undergo major surgery, after which, it was presumed, she would be confined to a wheel-chair indefinitely. However, she was no longer on the danger list.

A week later, the Prince returned to Klosters to see how his friend was progressing. He had thought to escape into the high peaks with Charlie Palmer-Tomkinson for the silence and for reflection, but Mackie, a sharp-minded if prosaic Scotsman, had told them bluntly that to be seen wearing skis would be interpreted not as the act of communion they craved, but as evidence of callousness towards their dead comrade. His view prevailed.

To the lasting dismay of all those affected, the facts of the disaster were persistently to be distorted. In what appears to have been a conscious effort to damage the Prince, he was widely accused of leading his party down a 'closed' run despite warnings to stay clear, and thus to blame for causing the tragedy that followed. On 18 March, the Sun headline read 'ACCUSED. Official: Charles DID cause the killer avalanche'. Among many others making similar points, James Whitaker writing five years later in Diana V Charles, stated that 'after pushing his party to go down an off-piste run when there were clear signs warning them not to, Charles was forced to take responsibility for the tragedy that followed.' (p.154). The truth was otherwise: there were no warning signs and the run was not closed. The five-page official report by the Public Prosecutor of Graubunden confirmed the findings of the Federal Institute for Snow and Avalanche Research at Davos, that the group had 'disturbed the blanket of snow that triggered off the valanche', and that on the day of the accident, the avalanche bulletin warned of 'a considerable local avalanche danger' in the region where they were skiing. Nonetheless, the Chief of the Parsenn service, responible for the safety of the marked and controlled pistes at Klosters, had thought it safe, after blast tests, to open both the Drostobel and the lift to the top station. The prosecutor thought it possible that the continuation of blasting led the group to assess 'wrongly' the danger on the Haglamadd, which, however, had not been tested as it lies outside the area controlled by the Parsenn service.

Exonerating Sprecher from any liability, the report found that, as no single member of the party had an 'explicit leadership role', it was 'the task of each single member to assess the dangers and carry the responsibility for himself'. The prosecutor also ruled out 'culpable negligence'. The party formed 'a group of experienced, risk-conscious skiers practising the sport at its extreme demands', 'practically equally skilled skiers [who] had joined for descents on territory well known to them . . . [and who] made a personal decision to ski on the fatal slope thereby consciously accepting the inherent risk'. The case was closed and the state treasury ordered to bear the costs of the investigation.

The decision by the Prince and the Palmer-Tomkinsons to return to Klosters in subsequent years was cruelly misinterpreted by some commentators, one of whom asserted that the Princess of Wales had been appalled by this evidence of her husband's 'insensitivity'. Whitaker wrote that 'Diana told Hugh's widow Sarah, who was pregnant when he died, that she would never set foot in Klosters again, yet Prince Charles was In reality, the Prince and the Palmer-Tomkinsons found it impossible to expunge the memory of what had happened, and whenever they met the conversation came back to Klosters. 'We all agreed that we could never go anywhere else,' Patty Palmer-Tomkinson was to recall with some emotion. 'We don't want to walk away from it . . . we don't want to forget it and it's very important that we go back every year and remember it . . . It's not the reason for going back, it is one of the reasons. It would have been like turning our back on him and leaving him there. We can't ski together, the three of us, without remembering Hugh . . .'

Title: LEONARD COHEN PROPHET OF THE HEART Author: L.S. Dorman & C.L. Rawlins B Leonard Cohen C Layton G Scobie J Professor Pacey K "the foreigners" [non-French Canadians (I think)] L "we" [French Canadians (I think)] M Ambrose Pierce O Charles E. Wilson U the Bible X unknown Y Steinberg Z Professor F.R. Scott
SELFHOOD, POETRY AND MUSIC

In the year in which they met, 1954, Layton had two books of poetry published — he does nothing by halves! — and Leonard was clearly dazzled by the man's prolific genius. When it mattered, Leonard was a learner; he could sit at a man's feet and absorb completely. In Layton he saw the splendour, and the viability, of the poetic destiny. A life in art began to make real sense. Unlike his rabbinic forebears who were not allowed &bquo;to use the Torah as an axe,&equo; to earn their keep from its knowledge and application, this was a métier which both claimed him and offered a fulfilling vocation. His questions flared fast and furious. As Layton emphasised, theirs was the Jewish tradition of the Lehrer: the teacher/learner relationship. In amiable mood one day Leonard remarked of his friend, &bquo;I taught him how to dress; he taught me how to live forever.&equo; And so began this friendship of 35 years, between the older and the younger man (Layton is 20 years senior to Leonard); between the master and the apprentice.

Whenever Layton had a promotional tour or appearance, a poetry reading or a workshop (poetry-reading in Canada predated Ginsberg's sensation with Howl that set in motion the &bquo;beat-poetry&equo; style, despite Scobie arguing it as an influence on Leonard's background), he would take Leonard along, acquaint him with the nuts and bolts of the business and get him to read some of his own poetry. And they had such fun together! On one occasion they were so preoccupied with their discussion, driving from Montreal to Toronto, that they failed to notice how low in petrol they had become. Too late! They ran out of petrol some miles from their destination, fortunately near to some houses whose occupants came to their rescue. Two years later, incredibly, the very same thing happened, at the very same spot. Only the discussion had changed!

Nothing captures this profound relationship like Leonard's poem, &bquo;Last Dance At The Four Penny&equo; (The Spice-Box Of Earth, pp 73), which perfectly catches the way they could cock a snook at the establishment, scholarly and religious: Layton, when we dance our Freilach Under the ghostly handkerchief, the miracle rabbis of Prague and Vilna resume their sawdust thrones, and angels and men, asleep so long in the cold palaces of disbelief, gather in sausage-hung kitchens to quarrel deliciously and debate the sounds of the Ineffable Name. Layton, my friend Lazarovitch, no Jew was ever lost while we two dance joyously in this French province… Reb Israel Lazarovitch, you no-good Romanian, you're right Who cares whether or not the Messiah is a Litvak? Let them step with us or not in their logical shrouds. We've raised a bright, white flag…

In this poem we see their shared Jewishness, and the &bquo;irreverence&equo; (as some would see it) they each had for the Tradition — at least for that view of it which some espoused; we also see a shared disdain for rabbinic (and priestly) logic, to them both a form of mental death. As Leonard commented in Police Gazette, &bquo;I'd rather sleep with ashes than with priestly wisdom,&equo; which has even more point when we understand that the ashes referred to are those of the victims of the Holocaust. Professor Pacey referred to Layton as &bquo;a poet of revolutionary individualism,&equo; and there can be no doubt that that individualism was a common tie, and not merely religiously but in every way. Not least in the sexual, for both projected a red-blooded response to their manhood which goes beyond the merely sexual or corporeal, claiming —demanding! — the full world of nature and manhood as their proper spheres: nothing was to be too sacred, for all is sacred — a Blakeian conception which predates Blake in its patent Jewishness by millennia, not centuries.

Said Leonard to us over a bottle of Sabbath wine, &bquo;I did not have a scholar's bent; at that time I spent many evenings with Layton and we would &bquo;crack&equo; poetry together — discover the poet's meaning. (That is) training at its best: serious, dedicated … (Ours was) an ad hoc group. We lived for it, in between homes and restaurants.&equo; Significantly, he adduced the work of the American poet Wallace Stevens at this point, a man torn between the profession of law and the poetic muse, whose view of lost faith and a &bquo;disconnected&equo; tradition imbued his poetry with a wistfulness and a challenge that was taken very seriously by Leonard and Layton; or, perhaps, viewed by them as a satisfactory replacement. As Layton asked in his poem &bquo;To The Roaring Wind&equo; (or was it to the Spirit-behind-the wind?): What syllable are you seeking, Vocalissimus, In the distances of sleep? Speak it.

This was the year in which Leonard was elected president of McGill's Debating Society. He was, as we have seen, already President of his fraternity. The following is his acceptance speech as President and, while betraying a certain youthfulness, it demonstrates the cast — the humour and the audacity — of his mind at that time:

Mr Chairman, Ladies and Gentlemen. The foreigners in Ottawa constitute an ominous threat to the integrity and autonomy of our province. The Communists in the CBC have tried to poison our minds with bolshevism and the capitalists of Ontario have tried to poison our bodies with margarine. Twice in the last half century they have plunged us into British wars and twice have they taken our finest youth from under our beds and from behind our hams. We are incompatible with them because they cannot understand us or comprehend our heritage. In our Church they see bigotry; in our homespun cloth they see provincialism; in our wooden ploughs they see something primitive; in our fallen bridges they see corruption. And, ladies and gentlemen, how long before they interfere with the very guardians of our existence and prevent the provincial police from shooting down vicious unarmed textile strikers? These are the things we believe in — the things they are trying to take away.

There is open to us only one course of action: we must quit the Confederation, consolidate and centralise our own power. But who is qualified to lead us on this Crusade? The answer is as obvious as the sign on a streetcar — it is a business man. In this day governments handle astronomical sums and a multitude of people. In effect, a government today is big business.

Who then more logical to head our new government but a business man? There is nothing so admirable as a man who applies his knowledge with forceful direction and from his efficiency reaps a profit. To be a good business man is the epitome of development and these learned people secretly aspire to that goal. For what are their professions and avocations per se without the business sense?

The lawyer is a deceptive sophist half smothered in ipso factos.

The artsman is an antique fossil and at best will make a fine filing clerk. And would we trust the doctor to rule? I am reminded of a short verse written in Roman times when even then they knew the nature of doctors. It goes: &bquo;But when the wit began to wheeze And wine had warmed the politician Cured yesterday of my disease, I died last night of my physician.&equo;

And the engineer — or scientist — an automaton, his imagination chained to a drawing board by a formula and a slide rule. Will he be our new leader? Quebec was the last province to give the vote to women. Under the new régime we would be the first province to disenfranchise them. For as Ambrose Pierce said, &bquo;Here's to woman. Would that we could fall into her arms without falling into her hands.&equo; And frankly, ladies and gentlemen, what is a theological student but a sebastomaniac?

But don't despair, my friends. Even for the engineer there is still hope. Charles E. Wilson, the newly appointed Secretary of Defence, graduated as an engineer but soon realised there were better things in life and he took a course in commerce and went into business and is now engaged in the most complicated of businesses — that of running a country. But perhaps I should not encourage you. The business man can use you all in the new régime. But you must all acknowledge his obvious superiority.

To close, I should like to quote from a source that especially some of us find more authoritative than a business man.

It is the Holy Bible and if you will turn to Proverbs 22:29 the following quotation will be found: &bquo;Seest thou a man diligent in his business? He shall stand before kings.&equo;

A keen and powerful debater, he was not amused at the dreariness of the Executive's meetings, the small talk and the administration (never his strong point). So he refused to call the Executive at all! It led to a major fracas, in which some tried to get him &bquo;unelected&equo;, but failed. The rebel was sharpening his teeth!

Such behaviour did not recommend itself to another, more discreet, influence on Leonard during those undergraduate years: Professor F.R. Scott, later Dean of the Faculty of Law, presently, while Leonard swithered and swayed as to whether he should commit himself to the arts or commerce, his lecturer in law. (An influence on Leonard equal to that of A. M. Klein, also a lawyer, but more importantly a poet-novelist of considerable skill, whose familiarity with literature equalled his Jewish erudition and commitment — unlike Leonard he was a &bquo;ghetto&equo; Jew of Montreal). Leonard dedicated a poem to him &bquo;Song For Abrabam Klein&equo;, in which poetry and song find their first and significant expression. Steinberg, introducing Klein's brilliant novel The Second Scroll, draws attention to, &bquo;The obsessive theme of the discovered poetry (of New Israel) is the miraculous, and the key image necessary to explain the remarkable vitality, the rebirth evidenced in every aspect of life, is the miracle.&equo; A theme and an image which will be apparent — and crucial for Leonard's own novel Beautiful Losers.) It is doubtful if Leonard learned much law from Scott. Even when in lectures, which was not often, his mind was elsewhere. But there was a degree of comprehension, if not agreement, from the professor.

Scott was in fact a poet of considerable skill himself a founding father, no less, of Canada's emerging poetry movement, and the doyen of poetry in Montreal, which has produced so many excellent poets. An odd diversion, perhaps, from one of the country's leading constitutional lawyers, but he was seized of the gift, and so the poetry became assertive. His presence had a telling, if quieter, effect on Leonard than that of Dudek or Layton, but it was nevertheless very important. Scott made no secret of Leonard's ambiguities regarding law, and he sought to ease him into a position nearer to his own, of both lawyer and poet. But Leonard is not of that cloth; his nature is obsessive; what he does, he must do with abandon; he has to work in total conviction, and dedication. As he said himself of this time, &bquo;I yearned to live a semi-bohemian lifestyle, an unstructured life; but a consecrated one; some kind of calling.&equo; It was this that fostered an even more radical bid for his independence. Being adequately provided for, he was able to book himself into a downtown hotel which cost him three dollars per night, though he often failed to make it back to the hotel, finding the cosmopolitan and nocturnal life of the town there entirely to his liking: consecration dismantled!

Title: From Zero to Hero Author: Alan Henry Date: 1994 Publisher: Patrick Stephens Limited B Damon Hill C Ayrton Senna G Frank Williams J Grand Prix teams K the Williams mechanics & engineers L the FISA M Damon's fans O the Sao Paolo crowd U "observers" (at Interlagos) X unknown
CHAPTER FIVE Life in the front line

FOR WILLIAMS, THE 1993 Grand Prix season started on an unusual note with two new drivers going into the first race. Generally speaking, Grand Prix teams don't like to change both their key employees at the same time. An element of continuity, not only from the standpoint of technical development but also personal chemistry, is regarded as beneficial.

However, Hill's presence alongside Prost represented that crucial thread of continuity. He hadn't raced for the team before, but his testing experience meant that he knew the ropes. Damon was well acquainted with the Williams environment and familiar with the personnel.

Unquestionably, Hill was popular amongst the mechanics and engineers who found his unobtrusive, low-key approach something of a refreshing counterpoint to Mansell's character which, although dynamically competitive, could also be nerve jangling in its volatility.

Hill was also well-acquainted with the revised specification of the 1993 Williams-Renault FW15C which the team would use in its latest assault on the championship. The previous summer the sport's governing body had decided - for an avalanche of reasons which need not bother us here - that tyre sizes were to be reduced for 1993. This meant quite a major revamp to the specification of the Williams-Renault package, and Damon was in at the ground floor when these changes were announced, testing the revised car long before he was confirmed as a full-time team member.

For those fans anxious to hail Damon as Nigel Mansell's logical successor, the opening weeks of 1993 were as manna from the heavens. In a succession of crucial preseason tests, Damon emerged as quick as, if not quicker, than Alain Prost.

It was all heartening stuff. Perhaps, after all, the English novice was going to give his new French colleague a good going-over. Perhaps Prost had lost his touch during his sabbatical year in 1992. Then perhaps not. Either way, there was an intoxicating element of unpredictability surrounding the run-up to the first race of the season, the South African Grand Prix, scheduled to take place at Johannesburg's Kyalami circuit on 14 March. . . . still coming to grips with the challenges involved in competing in such exalted company For Damon, this was a baptism of fire. No longer was he driving the old Brabham-Judd, keeping one eye firmly trained on his mirror to avoid holding up the faster cars. Now he was one of the pacesetters, one of the Top Dogs for whom the smaller fry had to watch out. Yet, despite being armed with one of the best cars on the circuit, he was still coming to grips with the challenge involved in competing in such exalted company.

At the end of qualifying he was fourth. Pole position had submitted to the silken precision of Alain Prost, with a lap in 1 min. 15.699 secs. Ayrton Senna, in the highly promising new McLaren-Ford MP4/8, was second on 1 min. 15.784 secs. while Michael Schumacher's similarly powered Benetton crouched alongside and slightly ahead of Hill's Williams on the inside of the second row, three-tenths of a second faster than the Londoner.

Damon had experienced a few troubles on the first day of qualifying. 'A warning light in the cockpit kept coming on intermittently,' he explained, 'and that forced me to stop in the pits quite a few times. But I managed to get a few laps behind Senna which was very worth- while because it taught me a few good lines through some of the corners.'

One of the new rules imposed for the Kyalami race included shortening the practice sessions and limiting the number of tyres available to each competing car to seven sets per race weekend. Inevitably that imposed additional pressure on F1's latest crop of newcomers but Damon, for his part, came through the test in characteristically assured fashion. Nevertheless, he was disappointed that he did not improve his time on the second day.

His lack of front-line experience caused him to get tangled up amongst a knot of slower cars during that crucial second qualifying session. By the time he'd found himself a piece of clear track, his last set of practice tyres were five laps old and losing the fine edge of their grip - usually at its optimum two or three laps into a qualifying run. He rounded off the session by spinning after moving off the racing line as he attempted to overtake one of the unwieldy new Lola-Ferraris.

Despite this, fourth place on the grid on his debut for Williams was an excellent effort by Hill. His time had only been bettered by the two established superstars of the previous decade and the man regarded as the most promising new blood. Damon's task was now to insert his previously unremarkable reputation into that latter category.

When it came to the race, Damon blotted his copybook within 10 seconds of the green starting light. Senna made a perfect start while Prost got bogged down slightly, and Hill found himself in second place as the pack slammed into the first, fast bend.

The occasion proved all a bit much for the Englishman. Here he was, in his third Grand Prix, with only the legendary Senna and his McLaren between him and the lead. Anxious to cover himself in glory, he allowed his Williams to get too close to the rear wing of the McLaren as they exited the second part of the corner.

One of the deterrents to close racing in Formula 1 is the aerodynamic turbulence caused by a speeding Grand Prix car. Its profile punches a pretty considerable 'hole' in the air, and the airflow coming off its rear wing at speed makes life quite lively for anybody following closely behind.

In simple terms, if an F1 driver gets too close to the car in front, he'll find that there is not enough air flowing over the nose wings of his own machine. That crucial airflow produces the downforce which helps stick the front end of the car firmly to the track. Remove it and the front end goes light. Suddenly and frighteningly.

The outcome of all this was that Damon lost control of his Williams and spun wildly in front of the other 24 competing cars. Prost locked up and dodged through on the left, but the Frenchman's success in avoiding smart contact with his teammate was as much to do with the lucky fact that Damon spun away from the racing line as to any great judgement on his part.

As Prost chased off after Senna, eventually to cement his new Williams relationship by defeating the Brazilian to score a win on his maiden outing, Hill settled down to compose himself in 11th place. Before he had a chance to get his second wind, Damon found himself bundled off the circuit after Lotus new boy Alessandro Zanardi attempted an overambitious passing manoeuvre which didn't come off.

Later Damon reflected on his race: 'I made a great start, but I was right up to Ayrton's wing and it was really too much. It caught me out a little. The spin was a mistake; my fault, I put it down to experience.

'I managed to recover and keep going, but it was very difficult to overtake out there. If I had not spun on that lap, I would not have been where I was [down the field] and would not have got into any other trouble.

'I felt Zanardi was taking a big risk by lunging there at the same point on each lap. But I have to take the responsibility. I could not avoid him because Alliot [the French driver Philippe Alliot, driving a Larrousse-Lamborghini] was in my way.'

A fortnight later, the second round of the championship took place in an environment so far removed from Kyalami that it is difficult to believe it was on the same planet. The Formula 1 fraternity swapped the parched, rolling Sackcloth of the Veldt for the grimy, urban squalor of Brazil's industrial second city, Sao Paulo.

If anybody needs convincing that Brazil is not all surf, sand and willowy blondes, then Sao Paulo must have been put on earth to achieve that very purpose. Yet the Autodromo Carlos Pace at Interlagos, so named after the popular Brazilian who won his home Grand Prix here in 1975 only to be killed in a light aircraft accident two years later, used to be one of the epic tracks on the international trail.

Originally, Interlagos was a daunting five-mile blind incorporating some of the most challenging high speed corners to be found on a circuit in the world. However, between 1981 and 1989, the Brazilian Grand Prix was staged at Rio de Janeiro's bland Autodromo Riocentro, and by the time it was switched back to Sao Paulo in 1990, Interlagos had been emasculated by a redesign to conform to the latest safety standards.

Yet the passionate enthusiasm of the sophisticated Sao Paulo crowd - weaned on home-brewed heroes such as Senna and the Fittipaldi clan, not to mention 'foreigners' like the Rio-born Nelson Piquet - makes for quite an occasion and there are sections of the circuit which still retain their original appeal. Damon had to be dissuaded from launching a final challenge to Prost's pole position In the fortnight separating the first two races of 1993, the sport governing body FISA made some minor adjustments to the F1 regulations. After experimenting with reduced length practice sessions at Kyalami, the programme now reverted to its 1992 format, with 90 minutes allocated for free practice on Friday and Saturday morning and an hour of official timed qualifying on both those afternoons.

Now the limitation on running time was confined to a total of 2 laps per car during each morning session and 12 in the afternoon. Anybody doing more than 23 laps in the morning would have the excess docked from their allowance in the afternoon - and anybody completing more than an accumulated total of 35 laps over the two sessions would have any such surplus disallowed.

Quite naturally, Senna was hell-bent on winning this race in his own personal backyard, but the estimated 60 bhp surplus enjoyed by the two Williams-Renault drivers ensured he was kept back in third place by the time the final grid order was published.

Damon felt he did a much better job than he had managed at Kyalami 'although it's difficult to explore the limits of the car on a track like this where I have no previous experience.' Prost's familiarity with Interlagos was emphasised by the fact that he lapped a full second faster than Hill to earn pole position, but Damon was content with the inner belief that he could have gone quicker. Anyway, he had a comfortable cushion of 0.8 sec. over Senna's third-placed McLaren.

In fact, Damon had to be dissuaded from launching a final challenge to Prost's pole position. 'It looks good out there,' he said optimistically to Frank Williams over his radio link as he sat strapped in the cockpit, suffused with enthusiasm, as the last few moments of the second qualifying session ticked away.

'No, Damon,' said Williams with a slight sense of amusement. There was a pause. 'It looks really good out there, Frank!' repeated Damon. 'No, Damon,' replied his boss. 'I don't want you having the added pressure of having to start from pole position.' And there the matter was left to rest.

Scattered showers were forecast for the race day at Interlagos, but Prost signalled that he was unlikely to be troubled by a wet track when he set a best time 1.2 sec. faster than Hill in the half-hour rack morning warmup session, which so often provides a telling pointer to impending race form.

Sure enough, Prost accelerated neatly away into the lead at the start with Senna cutting through to take an immediate second place ahead of Hill. By the end of the opening 2.687-mile lap, Alain was 1.4 sec. ahead of Senna, with Damon sensibly playing himself in in third place.

Not until lap 11 did Hill feel sufficiently familiar with the race conditions to harness every ounce of his William's performance to haul up alongside Ayrton going into the chicane beyond the pits slipping neatly inside the Brazilian to take second place.

Observers noted that Senna in no way made life difficult for the English novice as he challenged for his position. 'I got the strong impression that he was sizing me up, seeing what I was like,' said Damon thoughtfully after the race.

Title: Diana: Her True Story Author: Andrew Morton Date: 1993 B Diana C Charles G The Queen Mother J James Gilbey K Jane (Diana's sister) L one friend of Diana's M royal watchers O "a friend" R "one former member of [Charles'] Household" U [Diana's] "friends" W an eating-disorders expert X unknown Y bulimics Z "a close friend"
&bquo;My Cries for Help&equo;

The sound of voices raised in anger and hysterical sobbing could be plainly heard coming from the suite of rooms occupied by the Prince and Princess of Wales at Sandringham House. It was shortly after Christmas but there was little festive feeling between the royal couple. Diana was then three months' pregnant with Prince William and felt absolutely wretched. Her relationship with Prince Charles was rapidly unravelling. The Prince seemed incapable of understanding or wishing to comprehend the turmoil in Diana's life. She was suffering dreadfully from morning sickness, she was haunted by Camilla Parker-Bowles and she was desperately trying to accommodate herself to her new position and new family.

As she later told friends: &bquo;One minute I was a nobody, the next minute I was Princess of Wales, mother, media toy, member of this family and it was just too much for one person to handle.&equo; She had pleaded, cajoled and quarrelled violently as she tried to win the Prince's assistance. In vain. On that January day in 1982, her first New Year within the royal family, she now threatened to take her own life. He accused her of crying wolf and prepared to go riding on the Sandringham estate. She was as good as her word. Standing on top of the wooden staircase she hurled herself to the ground, landing in a heap at the bottom.

The Queen Mother was one of the first to arrive on the scene. She was horrified, physically shaking with the shock of what she had witnessed. A local doctor was summoned while George Pinker, Diana's gynaecologist, travelled from London to visit his royal patient. Her husband simply dismissed her plight and carried on with his plan to go riding. Fortunately Diana was not seriously hurt by the fall although she did suffer severe bruising around her stomach. A full check-up revealed that the foetus had not been injured.

The incident was one of many domestic crises which crowded in upon the royal couple in those tumultuous early days. At every turning point they put a greater distance between each other. As her friend James Gilbey observes of her suicide attempts: &bquo;They were messages of complete desperation. Please, please help.&equo; In the first years of their married life, Diana made several suicide bids and numerous threats. It should be emphasized that they were not serious attempts to take her life but cries for help.

On one occasion she threw herself against a glass display cabinet at Kensington Palace while on another she slashed at her wrists with a razor blade. Another time she cut herself with the serrated edge of a lemon slicer; on yet another occasion, during a heated argument with Prince Charles, she picked up a penknife lying on his dressing table and cut her chest and her thighs. Although she was bleeding her husband studiously scorned her. As ever he thought that she was faking her problems. Later on, her sister Jane, who saw her shortly afterwards, remarked on the score marks on her body. Jane was horrified when she learned the truth.

As Diana has since told friends: &bquo;They were desperate cries for help. I just needed time to adjust to my new position.&equo; One friend who watched their relationship deteriorate points to Prince Charles's disinterest and total lack of respect for her at a time when Diana badly needed help. &bquo;His indifference pushed her to the edge whereas he could have romanced her to the end of the world. They could have set the world alight. Through no fault of his own, because of his own ignorance, upbringing and lack of a whole relationship with anyone in his life, he instilled this hatred of herself.&equo;

This is a partisan appraisal. In the early days of their marriage Prince Charles did, for a time, try to ease his wife into the royal routine. Her first big test was a three-day visit to Wales in October 1981. The crowds made it painfully obvious who was the new star of the show - the Princess of Wales. Charles was left apologizing for not having enough wives to go round. If he took one side of the street during a walkabout the crowd collectively groaned, it was his wife they had come to see. &bquo;I seem to do nothing but collect flowers these days,&equo; he said. &bquo;I know my role.&equo; Behind the smiles there were other muttered concerns. The first sight of the Princess on a rainswept quayside in Wales came as a shock to royal watchers. It was the first chance to see Diana close up since the long honeymoon and it was like looking at a different woman. She wasn't just slim, she was painfully thin.

She had lost weight before the wedding; that was only to be expected — but the girl moving through the crowds, shaking hands and accepting flowers, looked positively transparent. Diana was. two months' pregnant — and feeling worse than she looked. She chose the wrong clothes for the torrential rain which followed their every move, she was wracked by severe morning sickness and absolutely overwhelmed by the crowds who turned out to see her.

Diana admits that she wasn't easy to handle during that baptism of fire. She was often in tears as they travelled to the various venues, telling her husband that she simply could not face the crowds. She didn't have the energy or the resources to cope with the prospect of meeting so many people. There were times, many times, when she longed to be back in her safe bachelor apartment with her jolly, uncomplicated friends.

While Prince Charles sympathized with his tearful wife he insisted that the royal roadshow had to go on. He was understandably apprehensive when Diana made her first speech partly in Welsh at Cardiff City Hall when she was presented with the Freedom of the City. While Diana passed that test with aplomb, she discovered another truism about royal life. However well she did, however hard she tried she never earned a word of praise from her husband, the royal family or their courtiers. In her vulnerable, lonely position a little applause would have worked wonders. &bquo;I remember her saying that she was trying so damn hard and all she needed was a pat on the back,&equo; recalls a friend. &bquo;But it wasn't forthcoming.&equo; Every day she fought back the waves of nausea in order to fulfil her public engagements. She had such a morbid fear of letting down her husband and the royal family &bquo;firm&equo; that she performed her official duties when she was quite clearly unwell. On two occasions she had to cancel engagements, on others she looked pale and sickly, acutely aware that she was not helping her husband. At least after her pregnancy was officially announced on November 5, 1981 Diana could publicly discuss her condition. The weary Princess said: &bquo;Some days I feel terrible. No-one told me I would feel like I did.&equo; She confessed to a passion for bacon and tomato sandwiches and took to telephoning her friend, Sarah Ferguson, the daughter of Charles's polo manager Major Ronald Ferguson. The irrepressible redhead regularly left her job at a London art dealer and drove round to Buckingham Palace to cheer up the royal mother-to-be.

In private it was no better. She stalwartly refused to take any drugs, once again arguing that she could not hold herself responsible if the baby were born deformed. At the same time she acknowledged that she was now seen by the rest of the royal family as &bquo;a problem&equo;. At formal dinners at Sandringham or Windsor Castle she frequently had to leave the table to be ill. Instead of simply going to bed, she insisted on returning, believing that it was her duty to try andfulfil her obligations.

If daily life was difficult, public duties were a nightmare. The visit to Wales had been a triumph but Diana had felt overwhelmed by her popularity, the size of the crowds and the proximity of the media. She was riding a tiger and there was no way of escape. For the first few months she trembled at the thought of performing an official engagement on her own. Where possible she would join Charles and remain by his side, silent, attentive but still terrified. When she accepted her first solo public duty, to switch on the Christmas lights at Regent Street in London's West End, she was paralyzed with nerves. She felt sick as she made a brief speech which was delivered in a rapid monotone. At the end of that engagement she was glad to return home to Buckingham Palace.

It didn't get any easier. The girl who would only appear in school plays if she had a non-speaking part was now centre stage. It took, by her own admission, six years before she felt comfortable appearing in her starring role. Fortunately for her the camera had already fallen in love with the new royal cover girl. However nervous she may have felt inside, her warm smile and unaffected manner were a photographer's delight. For once the camera did lie, not about the beauty she was becoming but in camouflaging the vulnerable personality behind her effortless capacity to dazzle.

She believes that she was able to smile through the pain thanks to qualities she inherited from her mother. When friends ask how she was able to display such a sunny public countenance she says: &bquo;I've got what my mother has got. However bloody you are feeling you can put on the most amazing show of happiness. My mother is an expert at that and I've picked it up. It kept the wolves from the door.&equo;

The ability to become this smiling persona in public is helped by the nature of bulimia which is a disease where sufferers can maintain their normal body weight — unlike its sister illness, anorexia nervosa where you slim to skin and bone. At the same time Diana's healthy lifestyle of regular exercise, little alcohol and early nights gave her the energy to carry on with her royal duties. As an eating-disorders expert explained: &bquo;Bulimics do not admit they have a problem. There are always smiles, no problems in their lives and they spend their time trying to please others. But there is unhappiness underneath because they are frightened to express their anger.&equo;

At the same time her deep sense of duty and obligation impelled her to keep up appearances for the sake of the public. A close friend says: &bquo;The public side of her was very different from the private side. They wanted a fairy princess to come and touch them and turn everything into gold. All their worries would be forgotten. Little did they realize that the individual was crucifying herself inside&equo;. Diana, an unwilling international media celebrity, was having to learn on the hoof. There was no training, backup or advice from within the royal system. Everything was piecemeal and haphazard. Charles's courtiers were used to dealing with a bachelor of fixed habits and a set routine. Marriage changed all that. During the preparations for the wedding there was consternation that Prince Charles would not be able to afford his portion of the expense. &bquo;Sums were worked out on the backs of envelopes, it was chaos,&equo; recalls one former member of his Household. The momentum which continued long after the wedding took everyone by surprise. Even though extra staff were drafted in, Diana herself sat down to answer many of the 47,000 letters of congratulation and 10,000 gifts which the wedding generated.

She frequently had to pinch herself with the absurdity of it all. One moment she was cleaning floors for a living, the next receiving a pair of brass candlesticks from the King and Queen of Sweden or making small talk with the President of Somewhere or Other. Fortunately her upbringing had given her the social training to cope with these situations. This was just as well because the federal structure of the royal family means that everyone keeps to their own province.

Title: Queen of the Street Author: Sally Beck Date: 1995 Publisher: Blake B Julie Goodyear C driver of the concrete mixer D June Howson G Esther Rose J Street producers K Street technicians L the cameramen M Annie Walker [fictional] N child fans O [Julie's] friends and family P Lois Richardson R Fred Feast S Pat Phoenix T Doris Speed U [Julie's son] Gary V "A couple of the other actors" W Desmond Ingram X unknown Y "who could understand what made Bet tick" [hypothetical] Z "an average actor" [hypothetical]
Coronation Street - a New Life

It was 1970 and Julie had landed the part of Bet Lynch in Coronation Street. Her stomach was churning as she stood nervously at the bus stop in Heywood on her first morning. Jingling the change in her pocket, she calculated she had just enough cash to get to the Manchester studios and back.

Then a friend of her stepfather's pulled up, driving a concrete mixer, a huge barrel rolling slowly round on the back. He leaned out of the window and shouted: 'Would you like a lift, Julie?' 'Yes please,' she said, hauling herself into the cab.

As Julie and her driver pulled up outside Granada Television's headquarters, Pat Phoenix was arriving in her expensive vintage Rolls-Royce. Both vehicles stood bumper to bumper outside the studios and Julie jumped out - none too lady-like - just as Pat caught her eye. 'She looked me up and down with an expression of total disbelief - and I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me,' said Julie. But as she passed the doorman she heard the clink of coppers in her coat and consoled herself with the thought that she had enough money to buy a butty at lunchtime.

Coronation Street needed an injection of glamour. They had been looking for a sexy new character to rival Pat Phoenix's vamp Elsie Tanner, and Julie had just what they were looking for.

When June Howson took over as producer she offered Julie a three-month contract. June had been a fan of Julie's since she worked with her on Nearest and Dearest and A Family at War.

Lots of actresses come and go in the Street, but long-term survival is about bringing something special to a character. Street scripts are pretty flawless - even an average actor can deliver the skilfully drafted lines - but to inject individuality into a part needs a unique ingredient. Julie had what it took and was determined to succeed. Veteran scriptwriter Esther Rose remembers how Julie cracked open the chrysalis that was Bet. 'At first Bet Lynch wasn't much of a part,' she said. 'But Julie really made the most of it.'

Bet was cheeky and quick-witted. She had a reputation for being easy, always fell for rogues who made her feel cheap and misused her and, at sixteen, had already had an illegitimate baby, whom she was forced to give up for adoption. There was certainly a lot of heartbreak behind the smile.

It was a juicy part for an actress who could understand what made Bet tick, and Esther remembers how Julie got to work on her: 'Bet's uplifted bosoms, earrings and tarty clothes were Julie's ideas,' she says. So was hanging on to the name Bet Lynch. When Julie returned to the Street, producers wanted to give her a new one, but Julie insisted on Bet. 'I don't know why. It was just right for her,' she says now.

Bet's bolstered 36B boobs and infamous cleavage were usually encased in leopard-skin lycra, revealing skinny-rib sweaters or blouses with plunging necklines. Her assets were mesmerising, and technicians nicknamed them Newton & Ridley after the fictitious Rovers brewery. If they had to shoot across the bar and thought Julie's chest was too prominent, the cameramen would shout: 'Dip, don't dazzle them Newtons.' Julie just laughs and says, 'Bet's attitude is if you've got it, flaunt it.'

She decided brassy Bet would wear seamed stockings and suspenders. Although no one would see them, the sexy undies made her feel like the cheeky barmaid. Bet's peroxide hair, all tumbling curls or back-combed beehive, was set with big old-fashioned rollers. Her lipstick and nails never matched: 'She always clashed. Bet epitomizes back-street glamour. It's not that she has no taste, it's just that she overdoes the glamour,' said Julie. 'Bet had to look as though she'd nearly got it right. If the nails were puce, the lipstick would be orange, and if the eyeshadow was turquoise the earrings had to be green.'

Julie's first make-up artist, Lois Richardson, helped create the famous Bet look. 'Lois is from Rochdale and knows the Bets of this world inside out,' says Julie. Her plastic earrings became a trademark and over the years Bet has collected 2,000 pairs. They range from pink feathers to tiny toilets and when she wore the tiny loos the seat was up on one ear, while on the other it was down. When the Queen and Prince Philip visited the set in 1982 she wore earrings bearing pictures of Charles and Di.

Now Bet's jewels have become a national institution. 'Within months of Bet appearing in the show, kids were spending their pocket money on earrings and sending them in so I had to wear them,' says Julie. 'They'd tell their friends they'd seen me on television and their friends sent more in and it snowballed. Now they come from all over the world.'

It was not Julie's first time on the Street. Four years earlier, Julie had landed the role of cheeky blonde factory worker Bet Lynch. By chance her very first scene was in the Rovers Return, ordering a pie and a bottle of pale ale. But after just six episodes she was fired. Thanks to Pat Phoenix and June Howson, however, on 18 May 1970, episode number 980, Coronation Street's 'Busty Bet Lynch' took a bow.

Every Monday and Wednesday Coronation Street was the most watched programme on television, and insiders excitedly reported that Julie Goodyear had the kind of natural scene-stealing personality which would win fans and boost ratings. By the time Julie joined the cast permanently, Coronation Street was already being transmitted worldwide. Even the natives of the Polynesian island of Oahu, where the top-rated TV series Hawaii Five-O was filmed, preferred watching regal Rovers Return landlady Annie Walker spar with husband Jack to the antics of TV cop Steve McGarrett and his sidekick Danno.

Viewers in Thailand, Sri Lanka, Singapore and Sierra Leone were hooked on tales of the Rovers Return pub in Weatherfield. In 1971 a Canadian television station bought 1,142 episodes of the Street, a transaction which made the Guinness Book of Records.

Julie was introduced as Bet Lynch, the happy-go-lucky friend of recently widowed Irma Barlow, scatter-brained daughter of cleaning lady Hilda Ogden, and given a job at the launderette. A month later she switched to the Rovers Return. For Bet's debut behind the bar Julie wore a fluffy white skin-tight knitted two-piece dress, held together with flimsy, crocheted cord and white patent sling-backs.

Iron-fisted Annie Walker ran the Rovers with the dedication of a drill sergeant. She thought Bet was common, but appreciated that her blonde hair, bosom and quickfire banter pulled in the customers.

In the early days Julie sat in awe of the Street stars like Pat, Doris Speed who played Annie Walker and Violet Carson, who played the formidable Ena Sharples. She said: 'When Pat walked into the green room, you bloody knew she'd arrived. I was the new girl on the block, I kept my mouth shut when Pat or Doris opened theirs, and learned my craft. I was hungry to become halfway as professional as they were, so I spent hours just watching and listening. When I wasn't in a scene I was somewhere in the studio lurking behind the flats.

'I called them Miss Speed, Miss Carson and Miss Phoenix. It was a mark of respect. It took six months for Doris Speed to approach me and say, "I'd like a word with you, dear." She told me that from that day on I was allowed to call her Doris, rather than Miss Speed.

'It was difficult at first, a bit like calling your teacher by her first name.'

Julie knew instantly she'd made the right move. She said: 'When I joined Coronation Street I felt I'd come home. Not for a couple of years ... but to stay. It was like a dress that's a good fit and just right for you. It was a mixture of the part, the people, the place - everything about it.'

Friends and family were delighted at Julie's break- through. The only person not impressed was son Gary. Julie said: 'He likes Star Trek, which is our rival programme on Wednesday nights. Gary said if I could have got a part on Star Trek, that would really have been something.'

A regular part in Coronation Street meant Julie could start saving. She loved the tiny cobblestone streets, the mill chimneys and corner shops in Heyword but she was still living with Gary, Alice and Bill in a tiny two-up, two-down terraced house in Gregge Street, round the corner from the Bay Horse.

Julie planned to change their way of life by working hard and saving for a new home. She saved spare cash in a savings clock she kept on the mantelpiece in the living room. She knew exactly the sort of place she wanted to buy: 'It's going to be detached, with a big garden for Gary to play in and the windows will be large to let in plenty of light.'

As her success grew, Julie had no desire to leave Heywood for more upmarket areas: 'I don't want anyone to get the idea that I'm getting stuck up because I'm on the telly now. I love the folk round here - that's why I'll stay here in Heywood when I buy the house.' Eventually, she bought a modest semi on Rochdale Road East.

Bet Lynch was an overnight success. Within weeks, Julie's mailbag was bulging with fan letters. She was staggered by her popularity. She said: 'It s been absolutely fantastic. A couple of the other actors told me it would be like this, but I didn't think it would happen to me. After the first few episodes I used to walk along thinking: "Come along somebody, recognise me." Now I get stopped all the time.'

Letters poured in. A lot came from children wanting to adopt Bet as a sister or asking if she could join their football team as goalkeeper. She also had the usual handful from obsessive fans. Julie said: 'There is one man who keeps trying to make a date. I answer each of his letters with a photograph.'

Bachelor Desmond Ingram was more obsessive than others. The only time love flickered for lonely factory worker Des was when Bet Lynch appeared on his television screen. Twice a week he would rush home from the Leicester clock factory where he worked, have a shave, slap on the aftershave and settle in front of the telly. After the show, he picked up a pen and wrote passionate love letters to Julie or picked up the phone in a bid to contact her. Most of his £14-a-week wages was spent on letters and phone calls to the woman he considered a goddess. He said: 'It wasn't love at first sight, but each week as I watched the programme I found myself falling more in love with her. Already it's costing me over £10 a week in mail and phone calls, which only leaves me enough for my rent and food, but it is worth it. Julie is the only girl in the world for me.'

Julie found such attention distressing and decided to call a halt to it. She turned down an invitation to dinner and told Desmond she was nothing like Bet Lynch. It wasn't strictly true, she was very like Bet Lynch, but he believed her and promised to leave her alone. Producers were delighted with her popularity and Julie's three-month contract was renewed.

That Christmas, Julie realized what fans found so appealing about her and insured her 36B bosom for £1,000. 'I've decided it's my most valuable asset,' she said. 'I want some kind of guarantee that if I lose my bust either if I lose valuable inches or it gets too big - then I can claim for it. As a barmaid I'm expected to show plenty of cleavage. It certainly helps, having a good bustline. My legs are not bad, but it's my bust that brings in the most comments in my fan mail. Everyone seems to think it's the nicest part of me.'

One night, actor Fred Feast, who played potman Fred Gee, got a flash of her famous bosom. He said: 'She knew men couldn't take their eyes off her boobs and she would flaunt them. Once, after I helped her learn a difficult scene, she said: "Thanks Fred, here's your reward." Then she lifted up her sweater and gave me a flash of her boobs. She's got the best pair I've ever seen.'

Title: DUSTIN HOFFMAN Author: Ronald Bergan B Dustin Hoffman C Henry Livings D AIP G Theodore Mann J the second director K Alan Arkin L Brose [fictional] M Eliot Fremont-Smith O Walter Kerr R Mariclare Costello [playing Rosie] S Arthur Hiller T Murray Schisgal U John Arden V Victor Henry W Jarvis Astaire X unknown Y Americans [hypothetical] Z Variety
Eh? Dustin Who?

As soon as things are really good, I always have a feeling the rug is about to be pulled out from under me.

IT COULD BE argued that Dustin owes his great fame, in part, to the Lancashire playwright Henry Livings. Having just lost out to Alan Alda in 1966 for the forthcoming Broadway comedy The Apple Tree, directed by Mike Nichols, but nonetheless now confirmed as a top off-Broadway character actor, Dustin landed the lead in Livings' Eh?, which had had a great success at the Aldwych Theatre, London, in Peter Hall's Royal Shakespeare Company production exactly two years previously. It was the 37-year-old writer's fifth play after Stop It, Whoever You Are; Big Soft Nellie; Nil Carborundum and Kelly's Eye, none of them making the voyage across the Atlantic. Eh? seemed just as unlikely to find itself transported to America. The title alone would give Americans some trouble. Why did it have a question mark? Eh! meant ugh!, not, as in England, hey? or ay? (In France it was called Hein?) There was fear that their indifference to the play might be expressed as &bquo;Eh! Who cares?&equo;

But a few months before its off-Broadway opening, Eh? had had its successful American premiere at the Playhouse in the Park in Cincinnati, Ohio, in which 26-year-old Sam Waterston played the lead to the author's supreme satisfaction. However, Livings was not in the USA to see Dustin and a cast which included Dana Elcar, Elizabeth Wilson (who would play Dustin's mother in The Graduate) and Carl Gabler when it opened at Circle-In-The-Square at Bleeker Street on 16 October 1966.

Again it was touch and go whether Dustin would be fired before the first night. Theodore Mann, co-founder and producer of Circle-In-The-Square since 1951, had seen Dustin on stage and wanted him badly enough to have dismissed two directors instead of the actor. Melvin Bernhardt, who had directed the show in Cincinnati, was sacked after differences of opinion with Dustin. The conflict with the second director derived from his wanting Dustin to play the role of Valentine Brose just as David Warner had done in the London production. Dustin refused, not only because he had not seen the very different Warner, which the director had, but he justifiably felt he had to find his own direction, even if he had to make a number of detours on the way. (Some years later Dustin would work with Warner on Straw Dogs, and they were able to compare notes.)

Enter Alan Arkin. Although Arkin, who had created the role of Harry Berlin in Murray Schisgal's Luv in 1964 (in Mike Nichols's production), had directed sketches in revue, he had never directed a legitimate play before. Because of his inexperience and the firing of the two previous directors, he asked to do it under another name, not wanting to take the rap for a flop. So he called himself Roger Short.

Dustin was a jazz enthusiast and found out that Arkin was too. &bquo;So I went up to him. It was the first time we made a connection. s And I said, &bquo;I know why you picked the name Roger Short, because Shorty Rogers did an album once on a label he wasn't supposed to, and changed his name from Shorty Rogers to Roger Short.&equo; (Rogers was to provide the music for Dustin's very first film.) We had the same sense of humour. We had a lot in common and we liked each other and he was one of the best directors I ever had.&equo; Arkin allowed Dustin time to find the character himself. &bquo;There are two kinds of difficult people in the theatre, &equo; Arkin pronounced. &bquo;Those who are passionate about their work, and those who are passionate about themselves. Dustin is passionate about his work.&equo;

In order to try and get a &bquo;Northern English accent&equo;, Dustin went to see the Beatles in A Hard Day's Night about a dozen times determined to &bquo;sound like those guys&equo;. No matter that his approximation to Liverpudlian was not what Livings had in mind for the character: it made no difference to American audiences who were not well up on the variations of British speech patterns. Actually, Dustin, although masterful in changing the timbre of his voice to suit different parts, only rarely attempts to put on anything other than an American accent.

Henry Livings describes the character of Valentine Brose as &bquo;pale and totally lacking in human fire. He behaves excitedly on occasion, even frenetically, and he wears gaudy cheap clothes with some dash … It's as if he were giving a performance of some character he's dreamed up, and his pale eyes wander in search of effect even in his apparently wildest moments.&bquo;

The play revolves around Brose, a harebrained nonentity machine-operator, who runs a boiler room of a semi-automated antiseptic dye factory, having taken the job because it was easy work and non-union, and who manages to annoy everybody except his fiancée. He has brought with him some psychedelic mushrooms to grow at work. When his superior comes across the boxes clearly marked &bquo;Mushrooms&equo;, Brose replies that this actually means M. U. Shrooms (Mervyn Ulrich Shrooms), seed merchant. By the end, people have &bquo;turned on&equo; and the boiler room blows up.

Eliot Fremont-Smith, normally the book critic of The New York Times, wrote that, &bquo;All involved deserve laurels. But because it is essentially Brose's show, the biggest should go to Mr Hoffman, who must be reckoned one of the most agile and subtly controlled comedians around. He carries the show and even if Eh? still doesn't sound enticing, he should be seen.&equo;

On the Sunday morning after the opening, Dustin spread out The New York Times on the sidewalk, and saw a half-page picture of himself illustrating a long article by Walter Kerr, the most esteemed American critic of the day, then only doing weekend pieces. In glowing terms, Kerr equated Dustin with Buster Keaton. Stunned, Dustin felt it was &bquo;the single greatest moment I had as an actor.&equo; Dustin, who had barely seen Keaton, tried to catch some of his films. Fortunately, it was the period when Keaton was just being rediscovered. (There are some moments in Dustin's films that could be called Keatonesque — the blankness of his face at the beginning of The Graduate, some of the comedy in Little Big Man, and the office party scene in Kramer vs Kramer — without his face ever resembling Keaton's handsome &bquo;stone-face&equo; features.)

British playwright John Arden (he of Sergeant Musgrave's Dance) accepted the Obie on Henry Livings's behalf, though, commented Livings, &bquo;In his mild way John hinted I might well not have enjoyed the way it was done in New York, but I never argue with box-office returns.&equo; Livings thought it might have lacked the English music-hall style of comedy he wished to capture. One adverse critic of Dustin's performance was the young and eccentric English actor Victor Henry, who, on seeing Dustin in a bar after the show, emptied a glass of beer over his head. Henry was a great friend of the playwright and decided that Dustin had misread a line. (Tragically, Victor Henry died in 1985 aged 42, his last fourteen years spent in silence after a street accident.)

Dustin never forgot the importance of Henry Livings's play in his career, and many years later, when he was making Agatha in England, he sought the modest playwright out and took him to lunch at a smart restaurant. Dustin introduced Livings to his business manager, the London boxing promoter Jarvis Astaire, &bquo;who took me into his offices,&equo; recalled Livings, &bquo;and en passant introduced me to a chap standing at a window ledge in a corridor, typing. &bquo;This is one of our writers&equo;, says he. It seemed a good time to make my excuses and leave, and I did both.&equo;

Almost immediately following the opening of Eh?, Dustin was given his first chance to be in pictures. &bquo;I got there at ten a.m. and was done by one p.m. Then I phoned everybody and said, &bquo;Well, I just finished my first movie.&equo;&equo; The Tiger Makes Out was a fleshed-out version of Murray Schisgal's one-act play, The Tiger, about a sexually repressed New York mailman, played by Eli Wallach, who attempts to kidnap a &bquo;sexy swinger&equo; only to end up capturing Anne Jackson (Mrs Wallach), a socially repressed Long Island housewife. Wallach and Jackson repeated their stage roles, while cameos were taken by stars and friends of the writer. Filmed on location in Manhattan, this shoestring Columbia Picture comedy provided a modicum of wacky New York humour. It was released on 19 September 1967, with a nineteenth-billed Dustin Hoffman. As long-haired &bquo;Hap&equo;, one of a pair of beatnik lovers, wearing a polo-neck sweater and a raincoat, Dustin's 45-second moment comes when he is seen breaking up with his girlfriend (Mariclare Costello) before she wanders off to be almost grabbed by the preying Wallach. &bquo;It's no good any more, Rosie,&equo; Dustin moans. &bquo;You mope around the house.&equo; &bquo;I'm not going to any more,&equo; she pleads. &bquo;It's just no good, Rosie,&equo; he continues. &bquo;You fill me with guilt.&equo; &bquo;I'm not asking you to marry me,&equo; she insists. &bquo;I'm perfectly content to go on living with you under the original terms. We split all the expenses and live together. What's so terrible about that?&equo; &bquo;What's so terrible?&equo; Dustin protests. &bquo;I'm the one who has to carry the guilt around. I'm the guilty one. Goodbye, Rosie Kriger.&equo;

The film's director, Arthur Hiller, had previously seen Dustin in Journey of the Fifth Horse, and &bquo;was bowled over by how convincing and skilful he was playing an elderly man. Needless to say, he showed those special talents again playing a young man in his twenties in our film. Indeed, I remember Murray Schisgal saying to me, &bquo;That man will be a major star.&equo;&equo;

Dustin and Schisgal had met earlier in August 1966 at the Berkshire Theater Festival in Stockbridge, Massachusetts, where Dustin acted in a number of Schisgal plays — the Old Jew in the play of that name, Max inReverberations (changed later to The Basement) and Jax in Fragments. (Gene Hackman was to feature in the plays when they got to New York.) It was the start of a beautiful friendship — Schisgal was to become godfather to two of Dustin's children (Jacob and Rebecca) some years hence — and they would also form a long-standing working relationship.

Murray Schisgal was born in Brooklyn in November 1926. After serving in the navy during World War II, he performed as a musician with small jazz groups, practised law for several years, then taught in public and private schools. His career as a playwright began with three one-act plays,The Typists, The Postman (later changed to The Tiger) and A Simple Kind of Love Story, which was first produced by expatriate American Charles Marowitz at his tiny Open Space Theatre in London and then off-Broadway. When Luv opened at the Booth Theater in 1964 (with Wallach, Jackson and Arkin), Walter Kerr over-enthusiastically claimed it was better thanWaiting for Godot.

During the theatre festival, the author liked to take early-morning walks, and every day when he left his hotel Dustin would be waiting for him. &bquo;He'd have the script and a million questions to ask: &bquo;What's your thought here? What's your thought there?&equo; I had never worked with an actor like that. He is eternally dissatisfied with what he has achieved.&equo;

While Eh? was still running, Dustin signed to star in the low-budget Italian-Spanish Madigan's Millions (El Testamento de Madigan/Un Dollaro per 7 Vigliacchi) to be shot in Rome from April 1967, for which he would receive $5000. George Raft, originally set to take the non-speaking title role, turned down the offer before shooting, reportedly because of ill health, and was replaced by Cesar Romero, in what was barely a cameo. Dustin played Jason Fister, a bumbling undercover Treasury agent sent to Italy to locate gangster Madigan's ill-gotten millions, thereby becoming embroiled in a series of slapstick mishaps. Amidst the unhilarious mayhem, a bespectacled and wide-eyed Dustin managed to time a few gags well, but became swamped by the strained and desperate elements of the ridiculous plot. The draggy love interest was provided by Elsa Martinelli, who plays Romero's daughter, although Dustin thinks she was his lover.

This schlocky international movie, photographed in eye-straining colour, cashing in (figuratively speaking) on the craze for James Bond pictures, was shot in three languages with a different director credited for each version — Stanley Prager (English), Dan Ash (Italian) and Giorgio Gentil (Spanish). Prager (who died aged 54 in 1972) had been an actor in Fox films in the forties, directed Neil Simon's first Broadway play, Come Blow Your Horn, and had helmed the popular TV comedy Car 54, Where Are You? Who the other two directors were and whether they were justifiably hiding behind pseudonyms is a matter for conjecture.

Madigan's Millions was held back from release until American International Pictures decided to take advantage of the success of Midnight Cowboy by foisting it on to the public in 1969 in a double bill with Jon Voight's early indiscretion, Fearless Frank, also made in 1967. Shamelessly, AIP publicised it as &bquo;The Two Most Incredible New Comedies Ever Laughed At!&equo; Voight came off the better of the two, because Fearless Frank (originally called Frank's Greatest Adventure) was the more interesting in being Phil Kaufman's debut as director, and having the author Nelson (The Man with the Golden Arm) Algren playing a gangster called Needles. Variety commented on Madigan's Millions that, &bquo;had it been released earlier, it might have finished him … Hoffman plays the part like an Occidental version of Charlie Chan's number one son.&equo;

Title: Lara: the story of a record-breaking year Author: Jack Bannister Date: 1994 Publisher: Stanley Paul B Brian Lara C Angus Fraser D Daily Express (Trinidad) E Daily Nation (Barbados) G Shivnarine Chanderpaul J Gravy K Tony Cozier L Michael Atherton M Patrick Manning N Nick Charles O Tony Becker P most Australian newspapers R the [Trinidad & Tobago] government S one or two journalists in the press box T the "miscreant" who stole then returned Lara's bat U the police [at the Recreation Ground] V "everyone who was there" W "and thousands who weren't" X unknown Y "most cricketers" Z "everyone" [watching the innings]
Seldom, if ever, has one stroke in cricket meant so much to one man, as Brian Lara's hook for four off Chris Lewis at 11.46 a.m. on Monday, 18 April. Had the bail he dislodged in making the stroke, fallen to the floor, he would have remained level with Sir Gary Sobers in what would have been the most unlikely dead-heat in sporting history.

History was thus made at the Recreation Ground in St Johns, as often happens, only by a fractional twist of the law of gravity, and so Lara was able to enjoy a much better night's sleep than the previous one when he tossed and turned from 4 a.m. onwards.

Would he or wouldn't he be in a position to accept the baton marked 'Record Test Score'? Only eight men had earned the right to hold it, starting with Charles Bannerman in 1877, passing on through the years to Billy Murdoch, Reginald 'Tip' Foster, Andy Sandham, Don Bradman, Walter Hammond, Len Hutton and Sobers.

Four Englishmen, three Australians and a West Indian. Lara hardly dared think about becoming the ninth man to carry the baton in 117 years, especially as the first seven men held it for 81 years between them, with Foster's 27 years the longest period of ownership until Sobers.

He had won it 36 years earlier, and the possibility of him handing it over made sleep impossible.

Early dawn is an unforgiving time for the worried mind - even one which could look back on an overnight, unbeaten score of 320. Most cricketers profess to be ignorant and uncaring of records, but the truth is usually different. As with Lara who, in his room at the Ramad Royal Antiguan Hotel, mentally listed the landmarks ahead of him in the next few hours.

The first run of the morning would maintain a Test average of 63, and the first boundary would take him past 750 runs for the series. Graham Gooch's 333 was 13 runs away, and he could then knock off Bradman, Hammond and Hanif Mohammad with one boundary. Left then would be Hutton and Sobers - the latter on the top of the mountain alongside the flag marked '365' which had flown proudly for 36 years.

When Lara arrived at the ground, the tension-filled atmosphere was winding up to a drum-tight level. Crowds poured in from 8 a.m. onwards. Radio and television stations were full of it. Desmond Haynes, captain in Lara's first Test in Lahore, and out of the fifth Test with an injured finger, flew back from Barbados to give moral support, and Trinidad and Tobago's Minister of Sport, Jean Pierre, was also there.

But for rain on the second day which caused Lara to restart his innings three extra times, his date with destiny would have been kept, but the weather gods are no respecters of sport. They took 23 overs out of the day but, although they relented on the third morning, they cost him most of his sleep during Sunday night.

He started edgily, and soon had the third new ball to deal with after two overs. His first stroke against it lobbed one from Andrew Caddick over cover for his 40th and least convincing four. He then played and missed at one from Angus Fraser, which brought this long-suffering comment: 'I don't suppose I can call you a lucky bugger when you're 340.

The world watched and waited ... and gasped as, three times in one over from Lewis, he took on a fielder with the ball in his hand for a second run. Now he was 357. He wafted and missed a drive in Lewis's next over, and promptly got a steadying rebuke from his 19-year-old partner, Shivnarine Chanderpaul. Around the Caribbean and in many other parts of the world, the rest of life stood still. His family were crowded around the small television set in brother Winston's bedroom. In St George's, Prime Minister Nicholas Braithwaite adjourned a sitting of the Grenada cabinet. Even law and order had to wait in Kingston where an important High Court Case was halted in St Vincent.

In England rush-hour workers and shoppers, ready to head home at 5 p.m. Iocal time, had a free view on television sets in shop windows, and the usual lengthy Chairman's annual lunch at Edgbaston looked like merging into dinner.

An extra-cover four off Caddick took Lara from 361 past Hutton and level with the watching Sobers. Atherton, quite properly, tried to turn the screw. A fielding circle was meticulously posted to try to prevent a single, but true men of destiny do not creep over the finishing line.

They finish with a flourish, and so it was this time. He swivelled, he lashed ... and he exulted once he knew that his brush with the off stump was not terminal. The emotional release for everyone was immense and draining. Spectators jumped and waved in the West Indies Oil Company Stand, as the ghetto-blasters of Chickie's Disco blared out.

The two main cheer-leaders were called Gravy and Mayfield, with the first-named dressed as Santa Claus, and they were ecstatic. As Lara was engulfed, Mayfield symbolically broke his own records - two L.P.s he had brought along for the occasion - and the only worried people on the ground were the police who, somehow, had to get Sobers and Lara together, away from the madding crowd.

From the record-sealing boundary until Lara faced another ball took more than five minutes while the Prince was crowned King with his coronation only the start of 10 days of celebration that no other cricketer has ever experienced.

Everyone who was there, and thousands who were not but will claim they were in years to come, have had their say about the innings, and more than one person echoes the view of the senior commentator in the Caribbean, Tony Cozier.

At the end of the first day when Lara was 164 not out, he wrote, 'The £50,000 sterling for the first batsman to score a double-hundred in the series, is all but in his bank account. By tea-time this afternoon, the consideration might well be directed to a less lucrative, but far more prestigious prize. Sir Gary Sobers' Test record of 365. On yesterday's evidence, it is not a ridiculous thought, and Sir Gary is here to follow his successor's progress.

'I have reported dozens of innings at a similar stage, but never felt so certain that something extraordinary was developing. It was a sixth sense shared by one or two journalists in the press box.'

And by the England Captain. Atherton later agreed that the innings smacked of the inevitable.

Before Lara, only 12 scores of over 300 had been registered in Test cricket, with Bradman the only man to do it twice.

The innings statistics show that Lara faced 538 balls, batted for 12 and a half hours and hit 45 fours on a slow, coarse, long-leaf grass outfield. The bat he used was, oddly enough, one returned to him after being stolen in Port-of-Spain in February. Such was his standing on his native island, even before the 375, that, as soon as the miscreant knew the identity of his victim, he put the matter right immediately, even though it meant transporting the kit-bag to Jamaica.

Like his epic innings in Sydney 15 months earlier, Lara came in to bat with his side in trouble. This time they were 11 for one which was soon 12 for two and, with no Haynes or Richie Richardson playing because of injury, he walked proudly in to take guard as the temporarily appointed Vice-Captain.

Of the next 581 runs scored, Adams, Arthurton and Chanderpaul scored 180 from 510 balls - arguably the most staggering comparative statistic of them all.

Lara's immediate public reaction was typically low-key, full of declared intentions which were soon to be put to a test he would pass and pass again with flying colours.

'I think the public will put a lot of pressure on me and I'll have to live up to what I have done today and what I've done in the past. Just that is enough inspiration to keep going. I know that, because I have the world record, people will be expecting a lot, and I can't afford to disappoint them.'

More cautiously, he said, 'There are times when I shall fail and I hope that people understand that I'm just a human being and it takes one ball to get you out. From now on, I'll be going out just to maintain what I've done today and maintain my career.'

He flew back to Trinidad after the Test ended on Thursday, 21 April, and the reception awaiting him at Piarco International airport was the start of a merry-go-round which would whirl ever faster in the months of May and June.

Prime Minister Patrick Manning was there to greet him, and the gifts started to pour in. BWIA International gave him TT$375,000 of free travel - roughly $50,000 - and a cellular telephone company gave him 375 minutes of free air time. A soap company chipped in with TT$37,500, and a free new house from the government was promised.

A street in Independence Square was renamed 'Brian Lara Promenade', and all schools were given the following day off, to watch their hero lead a motorcade tour of the island. It started in Arima in central Trinidad but, such were the crowds, his journey to the City Hall to receive the keys of the city, took more than two hours. The tour finished at the Queen's Park Oval, where happy schoolchildren had waited for more than three hours in sweltering heat.

That evening, he attended a reception at the Prime Minister's residence, and the next day, together with Sobers, was presented with the Trinity Cross, the island's highest honour. Tour followed tour, including one to his own Santa Cruz, followed by visits to the southern towns of Chaguanas and San Fernando.

That left the twin island of Tobago, with this visit delaying his return to Trinidad, causing him to miss his flight to England where he was due to arrive by Tuesday, 26 April. Seats on later planes were full, but the power of his name enabled him to arrive, finally, at Edgbaston on Wednesday, 27 April, less than 24 hours before the start of his first game since the Antigua Test match.

The world's media had now got him firmly in their sights. He dominated the sports pages in many countries, and many front pages as well. Even several editorials in British national newspapers switched from their normal political and economic themes.

More locally, his own island's Daily Express ran a 24-page special 'Tribute to Brian Lara', and the Daily Nation of Barbados printed eight pages of stories and pictures. Jamaica's Gleaner was fortunate to have Tony Becker writing about Lara, because Becker was the only journalist to have seen Sobers set the then new record at Sabina Park 36 years earlier.

Most Australian newspapers used headlines referring to the picture of Lara kissing the pitch on the Recreation Ground. 'Sealed with a kiss' was the popular choice.

In India, he was given front-page prominence ahead of that country's progress in the Australasia Cup in Sharjah, and Canadian newspapers gave splash coverage to his feat for their many hundreds of thousands of West Indian immigrants.

Even America was drawn in, although newscaster Nick Charles on cable network CNN admitted that he had no idea what he was talking about after doing a voice-over on the stroke which clinched the record for his station's 'Michelin Play of the Day'.

By then Lara had learned that he had an eyesight problem. Incredible as it seems for a young man blessed with such exceptional reflexes, he suffers from pterygium, which causes a light film to spread from the corner of the eye towards the cornea.

This was diagnosed during the second Test in Georgetown, when Lara complained of irritation and itchiness in his eyes. He was told that the condition, peculiar to hot, dry countries, necessitated an operation, which would be done before he toured India with the West Indies towards the end of 1994.

What might he have achieved had he been able to see what he was doing ....

Title: Kylie Minogue: The Superstar Next Door, Author: Sasha Stone B Kylie C "so many among her High School and Neigbours friends" D Andy Warhol F nasty woman in shop G outsiders J "those who most despised her" K "friends within the Neighbours camp" L "a Neighbours colleague" M newspaper reporting alleged tantrum in shop O "other shoppers in the store at the time" R "the colleague" S Kylie's family T Kylie's doctor U Angela Boxer W "One person who claimed to have witnessed her collapse in the recording studio" X unknown Y "reports" Z "most kids my age"
THE PRICE OF FAME

In the two short years that followed her first record Kylie became one of the entertainment phenomena of the 1980s. In 1988 alone she sold a remarkable £25 million worth of records around the world, earning herself around £5 million. She was garnering awards from Japan to Israel and Ireland, embarking on a movie career that seemed certain to lead to Hollywood stardom — she had even achieved the final confirmation of her status as a member of the élite band entitled to call themselves superstars, a wax image of herself at Madame Tussaud's.

Yet as her Five Star lifestyle moved further and further away from the modest suburban existence of Surrey Hills, Melbourne, Kylie was also learning another lesson. She was discovering that there was truth in one of showbusiness's most hackneyed old sayings: Fame costs. There were so many among her High School and Neighbours friends who were amazed at the way the shy, fragile, far from self-confident Kylie coped with her instant elevation to international celebrity.

It seemed incongruous to them that the sweet teenager they knew was not only surviving life in the toughest of all trades, but that she was also winning something of a reputation as a tough cookie, a determined career girl refusing to be deflected from her dreams.

When in 1988, soon after she had left Neighbours to devote herself full time to her music, the cookie looked like it was beginning to crumble, many shook their heads knowingly. The biggest crisis in her until then trouble-free career came during a recording session in her home town. It was as if, all of a sudden, all the hidden anxieties and fears she had hidden so expertly were now overwhelming her. Kylie ran sobbing out of the studios and did what was still the most natural thing in the world for a 20-year-old girl — she ran home to mummy.

&bquo;I was so sick, I had to take a day off. It gave me a few minutes to stop and think about what the hell I was doing.

&bquo;I felt … What am I doing here? I would rather have a little shop, a holiday home and be getting married and having kids.

&bquo;There was just so much pressure from so many different people. I just had to say &bquo;Stop&equo;. I had everything, but I had nothing. It's true what they say about that. I am the sort of person, I would like to be a bus driver, work in a nursery. I would like to do everything,&equo; she said.

Her near nervous breakdown, which took her to the brink of giving up all she had worked for in showbusiness, was all the more surprising to outsiders given it happened in her native Australia.

Yet it was her own countrymen who first demonstrated the &bquo;tall poppy syndrome&equo; she had herself foretold. The &bquo;Singing Budgie&equo; and &bquo;We Hate Kylie&equo; campaign had at first seemed impotent against the simple, unquenchable ambition of Kylie. But she admitted it eventually broke through her defences.

She confessed that the bitter jibes and over-exposure led her to the precipice. &bquo;They called me things like plastic person and a bimbo. I am not stupid. If I was stupid I don't think I would have got this far.

&bquo;I was sick of seeing myself on television, so I thought the poor public, how are they going to cope. It's over-kill. That's when the public turned against me. But I was contracted. I couldn't stop. I had to keep going.&equo; Asked during those dark days whether she had ever felt like quitting showbusiness she replied; &bquo;I would have loved to, but I couldn't.&equo;

It is an indication of how low Kylie's emotional defences were during this crisis that — just for once — the intensely personal details of her life suddenly came gushing out, as if to exorcise some spirit that was within her.

She talked of the spectre of Pre Menstrual Tension and how it blighted her life. &bquo;I cry, sometimes I am strong and sometimes I burst into tears. Actually I am very emotional. God forbid, when I PMT you wouldn't want to come near me. I am horrible.&equo;

One person who claimed to have witnessed her collapse in the recording studio said: &bquo;The poor kid just kept sobbing and saying, &bquo;I can't go on, I can't take the pressure.&equo;

&bquo;But the silly girl, just a couple of days later, she was back recording again.&equo;

With Kylie at her most vulnerable this was also the time when those who most despised her success happily fuelled rumours that she was anorexic. Reports claimed that the elfin figured star's weight plunged terrifyingly until she tipped the scales at a mere five stones. They alleged that Kylie confessed, &bquo;I honestly thought I was going to fade right away. It was becoming a desperately serious problem.

&bquo;At first it was just that, I was too busy to find time to eat. Then I got so that I could not be bothered. And then it got to the stage when I did not want to,&equo; she is alleged to have said. &bquo;There are always pressures on kids my age to diet and I am no different from the rest.

&bquo;But it was turning into a very, very serious problem.

&bquo;And only my family saved me. They finally forced me to seek help. When my doctor saw me and heard how much I was working and about the rest of my life, he was absolutely horrified.

&bquo;It was stress more than anything that affected me. I could not keep up with the demands of trying to keep everyone happy, and in desperation to make sure I keep my looks, I gave up eating,&equo; she is alleged to have said. It was claimed that Kylie was placed on a special 1500 calorie a day diet to try to replace the lost weight. Kylie reportedly admitted in November 1988 that she had the problem back under control.

Talking of the torment she was then emerging from she said: &bquo;The demands never end. You are really giving away a part of yourself. You can't even go down the street like anyone else.

&bquo;If you are in an office job you can usually go home and leave your job behind. I can't. And you can't get too comfortable with where you are because you could be a nobody tomorrow. When I am tired and think, &bquo;I don't want to do this any more&equo; I just tell myself that it might not be here in a few months and that there's probably a million who would kill to be where I am.

&bquo;It is lonely at the top sometimes, most kids my age don't have a care in the world. They can go on the hippy trail up the coast — that's something I have missed out on.

&bquo;I wish I could have done it. A lot of my old school friends are doing that now and they are just hanging loose without a care in the world, it sounds great.

&bquo;But there are so many people who want me to do things and I feel I can't let them down. I get home and I have no time to myself. I have to learn things or sign cards for fans.

&bquo;If I lived alone I would nearly go crazy. I would feel very lonely. I simply don't get out much to enjoy my success. There is an enormous amount of pressure on me. Sometimes it gets to me, I give so much time and energy to everyone else, that there is nothing left for me.

&bquo;That is when I think &bquo;What about me? Am I meant to be the centre of all this?&equo;

&bquo;I know I am only 20, but some days I feel about 30 so much has happened to me.&equo;

But there was a more sinister side, too.

The rich and famous — and Kylie by now was both — will always be magnets for those disturbed characters like John Lennon's slayer, Mark Chapman; psychotics, infatuated with the darker side of Andy Warhol's chilling message — everyone can be famous for 15 minutes.

From the early days Kylie was plagued by obscene phone calls and hate mail. During her days on Neighbours, she recalled how people were only too willing to vent their jealousies publicly.

&bquo;Once I was out shopping with a girlfriend and we went into a store. Suddenly a woman just came in, marched up to us, stuck her face in mine and spat &bquo;Neighbours sucks&equo;.

&bquo;Then she turned round, obviously very pleased with herself and walked off. I stood there very amazed but very upset. Why do people do these things?

&bquo;Afterwards I told myself &bquo;Who cares what she thinks. If she doesn't like the show she shouldn't watch it&equo;,&equo; said Kylie.

The personal abuse continued when Kylie made her base in London. Producer Peter Waterman once had to rescue his starlet from a gang of teenagers when they began spitting at her in a nightclub.

&bquo;It is very difficult for me. I remember being pretty shy at school and I think I still am. All the pressures of people having a go at me all the time don't help,&equo; said Kylie. For the media clamouring for every sensational scrap of information about Kylie — good or bad — the troubles she endured during this period were mass circulation manna from heaven.

Even if the stories weren't true.

In October 1988 stories began circulating that Kylie had been the victim of a crazed sex-attacker. It was reported that she disturbed the prowler when she arrived back unexpectedly at her family's Melbourne home. Only a desperate battle with the intruder prevented her becoming the seventh victim of the molester who was that at the top of the Melbourne police &bquo;most wanted&equo; list.

It was claimed that the police investigated the attack which happened as Kylie returned to Australia after another of her visits to Britain. She took a taxi to the family home in Surry Hills and let herself into the house which was unoccupied. She walked into the lounge, the report said, to be confronted with the masked intruder. She began screaming and in desperation threw ornaments and bottles. He made his escape by diving headlong through a porch window. Kylie, however, vehemently refuses to ever discuss the alleged incident.

Friends within the Neighbours cast were said to have claimed the attack left Kylie &bquo;badly shaken up.&equo; &bquo;She was terrified that the guy had gone looking specifically for her. It is a constant risk for someone like her who is always in the public eye, that someone will develop a fixation on her,&equo; the colleague said. More simple salutary lessons were being learned in Britain too. There, perhaps more than anywhere else, the hunger for tabloid trivia never seemed to satisfy the public. When Kylie went shopping for more additions to her by now Imelda Marcos scale wardrobe in one of London's stores, the result was inevitable.

&bquo;Kylie screams abuse at shop staff&equo; the banner headlines blared.

They insisted she had insulted counter girls after she had been refused discount on a slinky black evening dress which she saw hanging on a rail in the fashionable Hyper Hyper clothes store in London's Kensington High Street. To other shoppers in the store at the same time such stories were shocking…

Top cosmetic company boss Angela Boxer protested: &bquo;I don't understand why they were doing this to the poor girl. She did not deserve being pilloried like that at all. I bought the dress she was looking at and chatted to her about it.

&bquo;She was polite and didn't make any fuss at all. She was not at all the uppity, self-important celebrity I read about the next day.

&bquo;I could not believe the headlines. She was doing her best not to be noticed. Wearing jeans and bomber jacket with no make-up, she wasn't trying to be a big deal at all. I thought she was really very nice and my opinion was formed from that one meeting with her by pure accident. It was not the person I had read about in all the papers and magazines.&equo; But to Kylie the incident was just a re-run of thousands she had lived through before.

She had always accepted the unwritten law of the pop jungle — all publicity is good publicity — and no matter what the excuses, she needed the headlines as much as their writers needed her.

She regularly conceded it was all part of the &bquo;game&equo; she was involved in. All she needed to do now was put her troubled times behind her and win the game.

Title: The Turbulent Years Author: Kenneth Baker Date: 1993 Publisher: Faber & Faber A "some members of the Labour Party, like Dennis Skinner" B Kenneth Baker [first person narrator] C John Wakeham D Tim Renton E Peter Morrison F Norman Tebbitt G George Younger H Margaret Thatcher I the cabinet J Douglas Hurd K Willie Whitelaw L Norman Lamont M Robert Atkins N John Major O Ian Twinn P John Sargeant Q John Major's friends R the 1922 Executive S the Palace T "many" [MPs] U "the weekend press" V "several members of the Cabinet" W "a whole army of people" X unknown Y "many people around the world" Z George Younger, John Moore, John Wakeham, Norman Tebbit, Cranley Onslow, Tim Renton, Peter Morrison and Gerry Neale
Monday 19 November - Eve of Poll

On Monday, the day before the election, I spoke to John Wakeham - an experienced hand who had been Chief Whip, Leader of the House, and was now Energy Secretary - and told him early in the morning that in my view it was going to be very close and we should prepare for a second ballot. We agreed to meet later that morning to discuss this in the Prime Minister's room at the House of Commons. At this meeting George Younger, John Moore, John Wakeham, Norman Tebbit, Cranley Onslow, Tim Renton, Peter Morrison and Gerry Neale were present. We assessed the possible results. The voting system was complicated. To win on the first ballot a candidate was required to have an overall majority of those entitled to vote plus a 15 per cent margin over the next candidate. Since the electoral college numbered 372 votes, then in order to win the Prime Minister needed a minimum of 187 votes and to be fifty-six votes ahead of Heseltine. The difficult area lay where the Prime Minister got between 187 and 210 votes, while Heseltine got between 132 and 155 votes. This would mean a second ballot. This would be conducted along simpler lines, with an overall majority being sufficient without the requirement of an extra margin. If a third ballot was required because of other candidates entering the race then the system used would be the single transferable vote.

This exceptional and extraordinary electoral system had been devised by Humphrey Berkeley in 1964, and it has been much criticized. However, many people around the world marvelled at a procedure that allowed a Party with a large overall majority to change its popular and successful leader - a world figure - within the short space of two weeks and without rancour and mayhem, while remaining a united Party still in office. Although the 1922 Executive decided in 1990 to change the rules slightly by requiring more Tory MPs to sign any proposal for a leadership candidate to stand, the rules have remained essentially the same.

Tim Renton felt that if Margaret won only 187 votes then she couldn't go on as Leader to the second ballot with only half the Parliamentary Party supporting her. Peter Morrison maintained that she would want to fight a second round because even with those figures she would have won the majority of the votes cast. If Margaret continued to stand, then no member of the Cabinet would be willing to stand against her. The only possible new entrant of any significance would be Geoffrey Howe. The discussion then turned to what Margaret should say if there was no decisive result. Norman Tebbit was certain, saying, 'If she does not immediately make a clear statement of her intent to carry on, then it is a lost cause and she has to withdraw. So to keep her options open she must make a clear statement.' George Younger said that if the result was inconclusive then, 'Several people have told me that she must think very carefully, as several members of the Cabinet will advise her not to go on.'

I put forward the view which I had earlier expressed to John Wakeham, that Margaret should not be so definite. I suggested three alternative statements for her to make - 'I intend to let my name go forward to the second ballot'; 'I wish to consult my colleagues'; and, 'It would not be appropriate for me to say any more until I return to London.' I suggested the latter two, because much of the criticism directed against Margaret was that she did not consult her colleagues, and it would be better if she said she intended to return to London to consult them. This would have two advantages. First the Heseltine camp would be thrown into confusion, and secondly by the Wednesday morning there would be a whole army of people - Ministers, Party officers, and MPs - marching to Downing Street insisting that Margaret had to continue.

However, other views prevailed. I think that those colleagues thought my views were too defeatist. Peter Morrison was clearly impatient at even having to discuss all this, since he believed that such an outcome was beyond the bounds of possibility. It was then agreed that the form of words to be used by Margaret would be: 'I am pleased that more than half the Parliamentary Party voted for me and I would like to thank all my supporters. Nevertheless, I am disappointed that it is necessary to have a second ballot. According to the rules laid down by the 1922 Committee nominations are now open for the next round. I can confirm that it is my intention to let my name go forward to the second ballot.' All that I had secured in the way of time to consult was the insertion of Margaret's 'intention' to stand.

We then briefly discussed what would happen in the event of a defeat, but one which still required a further round of voting without the Prime Minister. This was uncharted ground, and a brief on the constitutional consequences had been prepared. The Palace was keen that the Prime Minister should continue until a successor had been elected.

During the course of Monday I spoke to John Wakeham, Tim Renton and briefly to Norman Tebbit about the need to find a 'stop Heseltine' candidate in the event of Margaret being fatally wounded. Towards the end of the previous week it looked as if Douglas Hurd was the front runner for this position, although he had told his PPS, Tim Yeo, the MP for Suffolk South, 'Don't go scurrying around the House on my behalf.' But Douglas had said over the weekend that in certain circumstances he would be prepared to stand for the leadership, but 'not against her'. However, the weekend press had questioned Douglas's capacity to campaign effectively against Neil Kinnock in a General Election. Norman Tebbit did not want 'Hong Kong Hurd' and preferred John Major, but the difficulty was that John was too young, untried and not very well known. Norman thought that if he stood himself he would only get between twenty and forty votes. For myself I thought that Michael Heseltine, after a leadership election which divided the Party, would not beat Kinnock in a General Election and that the only one who could be counted upon to do that was Margaret.

In the afternoon I went to see Willie Whitelaw in his small, narrow office in the House of Lords. He was still of the view that if a third of the Party voted against Margaret, that is to say 124 MPs, then she would have to go. Willie was very concerned about Michael Heseltine. He wanted Douglas as an alternative leader, but 'he is happy as Foreign Secretary and he is not really suited for a ruthless campaign against Kinnock. The trouble with Douglas was the same with me in 1975. He doesn't really want the job.' Willie then also said, 'I expect John Major will stand. Many will vote for him thinking that he is on the right wing. They'll be disappointed and soon find out that he isn't.'

I spoke on the telephone to John Major, who was recuperating at his Huntingdon home after the operation on his wisdom teeth, and said, 'We really miss you from the campaign. It's touch and go.' I had also heard that Norman Lamont and Robert Atkins, over the weekend, had been promoting John as a candidate in the event of Margaret's defeat. 'So many people are talking up your chances that I assume there is some campaign running on your behalf,' I said. John vehemently denied this, and said he had been discouraging his friends from promoting his name as a candidate.

Later that night I went to see Peter Morrison, who said that his latest canvassing returns showed that the Prime Minister could get as many as 245 votes but probably would receive 230 after allowing for the 'fib factor'. Michael Heseltine would get l00 if he was lucky. I took a £10 bet with Peter that Michael Heseltine would be nearer to 150 than l00, in the hope that Peter would see that there was still work to be done. Tuesday 20 November: Election Day

Margaret's campaign team reconvened on the Tuesday morning at 11.15 a.m. and confirmed the line which the Prime Minister had by then agreed. I again urged more flexibility, as I had learnt that some Ministers who would vote for her in the first ballot might not vote for her in the second. My view was still that she should come back to the UK and consult her colleagues about going on, as a decision made in Paris would be seen as high-handed. Norman Tebbit was very opposed to this, saying that if she didn't straightaway declare she was going on 'then support would immediately haemorrhage'. I said, 'What can we do about Ken Clarke, Chris Patten and Douglas Hurd?', as I anticipated their hostile reaction to this line. John Wakeham optimistically said, 'If she makes that statement they will have to back it.'

The atmosphere in the House prior to the voting was quite calm. Packs of journalists stood outside Committee Room 12, as did some members of the Labour Party, like Dennis Skinner, sneering and sniping. At 6 p.m. John Wakeham, Norman Tebbit, Gerry Neale, Michael Neubert, Tim Bell, Gordon Reece, John Whittingdale, David Waddington, John Moore, Mark Lennox Boyd, Tony Newton, Alistair McAlpine, Brendan Bruce, Tony Kerpel and I gathered in the Prime Minister's room in the House of Commons. The general air was still a confident one. At 6.30 p.m. Ian Twinn, the MP for Edmonton, came down and gave us the figures. It was bad news: 204 for Margaret, 152 for Michael Heseltine, and sixteen abstentions. The Prime Minister had a majority of fifty-two, just four votes short of the fifty-six majority that she needed. If two Conservative MPs had voted the other way she would have been safe. Tim Renton telephoned the news to Peter Morrison in Paris. After briefly digesting the figures Margaret came straight out on to the steps of the British Embassy and rapidly descending them asked where the 'pool' microphone was. The BBC's intrepid political reporter, John Sargeant, who had been addressing the camera and had his back to Margaret, was alerted to her arrival and achieved his place in history by spinning round, defying Bernard Ingham and thrusting the BBC's microphone into her face, crying out, 'Here's the microphone Prime Minister.' Margaret then made her prepared statement, saying, 'I am naturally very pleased that I got more than half the Parliamentary Party, and disappointed that's not quite enough to win on the first ballot. So I confirm it is my intention to let my name go forward for the second ballot.'

As I had predicted, this was a mistake. The comments back at Westminster that evening were that the Prime Minister had reached this decision all alone; it was typical of her style, and far too gung-ho. The speed and brusqueness of the announcement represented all that her critics found wrong with her style. I left the House to appear on the TV news programmes where I stressed that Margaret had got 55 per cent of the vote and that under any other system this would have led to a clear victory. With a majority of fifty-two, winners do not throw in the towel. I also said that the Cabinet was united behind Margaret. This proved to be a rather rash statement. Margaret phoned me from Paris to thank me for my efforts and I said to her, 'You must get back to London. Can you be here tonight?' But she said she had to attend an official dinner and a musical entertainment.

Title: A Bag of Boiled Sweets Author: Julian Critchley Date: 1995 Publisher: Faber & Faber B Julian Critchley [first person narrator] C Margaret Thatcher D Alan Watkins E Geoffrey Howe F Nigel Birch G Charles Irving H Michael Heseltine I Elspeth Howe J Michael Heseltine's friends K Sir Peter Tapsell L Field Marshall Sir John Stanier M Cransley Onslow N 'the colleagues' O Ian Gilmour P "the more far-sighted" (Tory MPs) Q "a majority of her cabinet colleagues" R Tory MPs S "the Thatcherites" T the Labour benches U Margaret Thatcher's supporters V Michael Heseltine's friends W foreign TV stations X unknown Y "a squad of retired colonels, majors and captains" Z Tory MPs in the committee rooms

In 1989 and 1990, Mrs Thatcher went, as they say in Wales, 'a little funny'. She was full of bombast and bluster. She told Robin Oakley, then of The Times that she was 'happy to carry on' by 'popular acclaim'. She staged, with the help of her Environment Secretary, Nicholas Ridley, a cleaning-up operation in St James's Park in which she thrust a pointy stick in the direction of rubbish that had been carefully strewn in her path. It could have been a sketch from Monty Python. Her eyes, according to Alan Watkins of the Observer, took on a manic quality when talking about Europe, while her teeth were such as 'to gobble you up'. More sinister still, she slipped into the habit of using the royal 'we' in public. ('We are a grandmother'). This she explained in the Express and on Panorama, as follows:

A leader must lead, must lead firmly, have convictions . . . and see that those convictions are reflected in every piece of policy. How can I change Mrs Thatcher? I am what I am . . . I am not an 'I' person, I am not an 'I did this in my government, I did that'. I have never been an 'I' person so I talk about 'We' - the government. I cannot do things alone so it has to be 'we'. It is a cabinet 'we' . . . Yes, I do lead from the front. Yes, I do have fundamental convictions . . . but we do have very lively discussions because that is the way I operate. Then we reach collective decisions. That's collective responsibility.

The events of October and November 1990 have been recounted in a score of books, most of which I have reviewed for one newspaper or another. The best is probably Alan Watkins' A Conservative Coup. In brief, there was no plot by the cabinet to get rid of Margaret; there was some plotting on her behalf, but in the main events moved inexorably once Geoffrey Howe made his famous resignation speech in the Commons on Tuesday 13 November. Once Geoffrey had spoken she was to all intents and purposes 'dead in the water'.

I watched the proceedings from the upstairs MPs' gallery, looking directly down on to the government benches. The House was packed, the silence broken only by the occasional oohs and aahs from the Labour benches as the enormity of Howe's attack dawned slowly upon them. As for the Tories, they listened silently without facial expression of any kind. It was clear from the moment that Geoffrey began his speech that this was no tour d'horizon, no graceful recollection of time well spent in office; it was a carefully crafted, smoothly delivered, destructively pointed attack on the Prime Minister's actions and attitudes. It ended with what amounted to an invitation to Michael Heseltine to mount a direct challenge to her leadership. As a performance it was on a par with Nigel Birch's 'never glad confident morning again' speech of 1963 when he took his revenge upon Harold Macmillan. It was, as Lady Thatcher was later wryly to observe, quite the best speech she had ever heard Geoffrey make. At the time she sat grim-faced, looking neither left nor right. When Geoffrey finished, she left the Chamber. I hurried down into the Members' Lobby where I caught sight of Elspeth Howe running in the direction of Geoffrey's room. Charles Irving, the Tory MP for Cheltenham, claimed that 'it had taken Elspeth ten minutes to write the speech; Geoffrey, ten years to make it'. It was a good crack but inaccurate; Geoffrey had written every word of it. The lobby was crowded with MPs and lobby correspondents in a state of high excitement. 'Now Michael must run' and 'she's dead in the water' were the two views generally expressed. Several days previously I had counselled caution - Michael was doing a trawl of those who were committed to him. Now, unless he wanted his bluff to be called in the most humiliating way, he had no choice. His friends sought him out in the tea-room and the lobbies to tell him so.

A day or so later I was lunching in the Members' Dining Room. Geoffrey came and sat opposite me, with Robin Maxwell-Hyslop on his right hand. Geoffrey and I talked of old times in the Bow Group, of my visit at his invitation to Chevening, the great house in Kent which he was obliged to give up on losing the Foreign and Commonwealth Office. We chatted about everything but his recent speech. Maxwell-Hyslop, who had turned his back on him, shouted some generalised abuse in Geoffrey's direction (Howe took no notice) as he stalked out. It was the only time in thirty years of eating in the Commons that I have witnessed such offensive behaviour; it was a sign of just how high feelings were running.

Poor Geoffrey had just been unlucky in his seating for Robin Maxwell-Hyslop had always been a man to avoid. In the days that followed I spent the bulk of my campaigning either on the box or writing articles in favour of Michael's candidature in the press. No one bothered to canvass me, my colours having been nailed to Heseltine's mast since our Pembroke days. This was, in a sense, a pity, for much of the fun lay in the importunings of 'the colleagues' who, paper and pencil in hand, would sidle up to people with whom they barely passed the time of day in normal circumstances to learn for whom they were thinking of voting. I could have been lunched by Peter Morrison, or dined by Tristan Garel-Jones; but no such luck; in the event I was not required to try to convert anyone (Colonel Mates, the Black Uhlan who was Michael's chief of staff, probably considered such an act likely to be counter-productive) but to sing our candidate's praise on TV and in print. 'No jokes,' warned the massive figure of Sir Peter Tapsell, another of Michael's inner circle. 'Michael has many achievements to his credit.' I promised not to make any jokes.

Michael's election campaign coincided with the Hartley Wintney Christmas Fair which I duly attended. I was soon surrounded by a squad of retired colonels, majors and captains who asked me for whom I would be voting. I suspected their loyalties lay with Margaret, but I spotted at the back of the throng the mackintoshed figure of Field Marshal Sir John Stanier. 'Sir John,' I asked, 'for whom would you vote?' 'Heseltine, of course,' was his reply. The colonels, majors and captains were suitably impressed.

I have looked at my freelance journalism account book for November 1990 and found recorded eighty-four different sources of income ranging from an Observer profile of Michael, to Breakfast with Frost, to Newsnight, Panorama and umpteen foreign television stations, the London offices of which were desperate to interview Michael Heseltine's old school-chum. Usually my monthly total of commissions was about twenty. I stressed his stamina, his integrity and his ministerial experience. I claimed that Margaret had outstayed her welcome, and that under her leadership, defeat stared the party in the face. Later, after she withdrew, I claimed that Michael was by far 'the biggest' of the three candidates. I am certain I did not convert any colleague who might have been watching the box; but Michael did remain the public's favourite throughout both elections.

At about half past five on the evening of Tuesday 20 November, I went upstairs to the Committee Corridor to await the result of the first ballot. By six, when the poll closed, the wide corridor had become densely packed with MPs of all parties - I caught sight of Dennis Skinner and of Tony Benn, and a collection of native and foreign journalists, the bulk of whom were strangers to me. The excitement was intense and the heat oppressive. Suddenly there was silence, and someone could be heard in the distance reading out the result: Margaret Thatcher 204; Michael Heseltine 152; abstentions 16. The cry then went up 'second ballot'. Margaret had failed by four votes to win outright. There was chaos in several of the committee rooms which were packed with Tory MPs, enraged that the press had been the first to know. It appeared that Cranley Onslow, the admirable chairman of the '22, had read out the results in the wrong committee room. It was an error that was eventually to cost him the chairmanship of the 1922 Committee. The cry went up 'My God, she's finished'. The crowd then faded away, the hacks to their telephones, the Heselteenies to the Smoking Room to celebrate (Pol Roger '68), the Thatcherites to cabal in a state of gloomy stupefaction.

Mrs Thatcher was clearly finished; 168 Tory MPs had either voted for Michael or abstained. No Prime Minister could survive so large a rejection. A more sinister thought was that if Mrs Thatcher could not heal so wide a breach 'could Michael?' It was this double rejection that sooner or later came to occupy the minds of Tory MPs. We rushed to find a television set to see how Mrs Thatcher would react to the news of her 'defeat'. Foolishly, and for no good reason, she had gone to Paris for a summit. The bearer of the ill-tidings was her newly appointed PPS Sir Peter Morrison. No one watching that evening will forget her dramatic appearance in the courtyard of the embassy, as she elbowed her way past Bernard Ingham to proclaim to the world that she would fight on. 'C'est magifique,' murmured Ian Gilmour, 'mais...'

I remember someone saying in the Smoking Room on hearing that she had appointed Peter Morrison as her PPS, 'she's in the bunker now'. Peter was the Thatcherite brother of the 'wet' Charlie Morrison, and son of the John Morrison who had been the chairman of the '22 when I was first elected in 1959. He seemed an unsuitable candidate for a very difficult job. He was both grand and unapproachable. He was to play the role of General Wenck, whose imaginary 12th Army was to relieve beleaguered Berlin in 1945.

Mrs Thatcher's supporters, and especially her 'Court', have found it hard to come to terms with her resignation. In a search for scapegoats they have blamed Tristan Garel-Jones, her cabinet colleagues and occasionally themselves for not working hard enough on her behalf. But they all miss the point. After the first ballot, the more far-sighted believed that Margaret was finished; the fact that the margin of four votes was so narrow was neither here nor there. Even had it been possible to rustle up or to convert another four Tory MPs it would have made no practical difference to her position. She had been holed below the waterline. There is no doubt that a majority of her cabinet colleagues were glad to see the back of her, but they gave their advice freely and frankly. ,note desc="summary of multiple speech events; 'see' as reporting verb" As they saw it, she was unlikely to defeat Michael in a second ballot. And were Michael to win, not only would he recast the cabinet, but he would also find himself faced by a phalanx of irreconcilables who would strive to make his position as Prime Minister untenable. Hence the emergence, almost at the eleventh hour, of the 'unknown' John Major who had offended no one, and about whose political beliefs nobody could be certain.

The Thatcherites listened to their lost leader and voted for 'dear John' in ignorance of the fact that his political hero was Iain Macleod. Whatever John Major's strengths and weaknesses, he did provide the cement without which the Tory party would not have won the 1992 general election. I stuck with Michael to the end. It soon appeared inevitable that he would lose, but it was a brave try. And, writing four years after the event, who is to say that he might not have done better than John Major? He had come a long way from that evening in Long John's restaurant in Oxford in 1952 when he put 'Downing Street' next to the 1990s when he charted his future course.

Title: Growing Up in the Gorbals Author: Ralph Glasser Date: 1986 Publisher: Chatto & Windus B Ralph Glasser [first person narrator] C Bernard G "we" (Glasser's friends / generation) J "many peace propagandists"/the peace movements K Communist Party L young man in the close M girl with young man in the close X unknown

Not long ago we had been to an anti-war exhibition - horrifying photographs of mutilation, death, destruction in the Great War. It had been mounted by the party, in the interests of the current Comintern strategy active in the disarmament and anti-war movement, to project its desired image as the only genuine worker for peace.

One photograph imprinted itself especially on my mind - a huge enlargement in grainy black and white, more than six feet high, of a man's face with one side blown off by a shell. In place of half his mouth and one cheek was a yawning cave of flesh kept open with metal struts so that food and breath could pass. There were others.

Disturbing in a different fashion was a section devoted to the arms industry, telling of a factory on the border between France and Germany that during the Great War had supplied munitions to both sides.

Bernard snorted: 'That only happens in a capitalist war! Spain is a working-class war. The first one!'

We would soon learn that worse things were happening in the Spanish War.

The tidal wave of anti-war and disarmament movements, the first of our time, displayed an innocence now hard to understand, until we think of the Flower Children of the Sixties - an appeal to the softer side of human nature, faith in the power of gentleness and the will to peace. 'If only people and nations would let themselves be swayed by kindness! If only "they", the people who fear us and insist on arming against us, would believe we are innocent and that we only wish for good to prevail - and not attack us first!'

One was the Peace Pledge Union, its name a naive throwback to the campaign in the early years of the century for 'signing the pledge' against the demon drink, instinct with the belief that if you but had the will, everything was possible. So the will to peace, the mind suppressing the brutish passions, was all that was needed to 'outlaw' war. Many peace propagandists declared, and some still do, that for a nation to be armed at all was to provoke aggression. If only one nation would disarm it would exert an irresistible moral pressure on all the others to do the same.

Many of the disarmament and peace groups were party front organisations; in others, party underground members formed cells, and by their dynamism and through constitutional manoeuvres moved into positions of control. The party steered money into them, and boosted their efforts with opportunist propaganda. In these ways it created a Fifth Column to fulfil Russia's designs, one of which was the military weakness of its 'host' country.

In spite of our inexperience, or perhaps because of it, our sympathy made us feel the trauma of the Great War survivors as our own, so that the peace movements' plea spoke to us powerfully. It joined together two fears: that the Western powers' war plans would steer us into mass slaughter again and another lost generation, and that in the process a ray of hope for a humaner society, the image of Russia that so many people wanted to believe in, would be extinguished. War plans? How could we know that Britain and France were militarily at their weakest for twenty years! Party branches were ordered to monitor the movements of trains and ships carrying munitions and chemicals and military units, and send the information to King Street, whence of course it went to Moscow. Some of it, one must assume from later events, was filtered by Moscow onwards to German Intelligence.

Groping for some sense, a clear view, trying to provoke Bernard out of his stonewalling, something made me say: 'All right, about this worker solidarity you talk about, if I go and fight in Spain, will the workers here make up my dole money to more than fifteen shillings a week when I get back? Better still, will the union fight to get me a decent job all the year round?'

I was ashamed the moment I had spoken. It was a silly way of expressing futility.

His forbearance snapped. Angrily he halted, tugged at my sleeve to stop me in my tracks, and pointed past me at something:

'Just you look at that!' He was hoarse with fury. 'For Christ's sake stop bellyaching and take first things first! Do you want to live like that all your life - you and everybody else round here? Do you! Look, man! Look!'

I turned to see what he was pointing at. We were at the mouth of a close, the narrow slit in a tenement facade entered directly from the street, giving on to a stone-paved corridor barely wide enough for two people abreast, about five yards long, leading to stone stairs up to flats on three storeys above. At the foot of the stairs the corridor angled itself sharply past them and continued, narrower still, in darkness untouched by the feeble yellow light of the gas mantle projecting from a slender pipe on the wall above the stairfoot, to a lime unpaved back yard with its ash-pits - rubbish dumps - and posts for clothes lines.

I took a few steps into the close and he followed. At first glance it could have been any one of hundreds in the Gorbals, sights and smells so familiar that I had long ago ceased to be aware of them. Looked at carefully as we stood between the nudging walls in the dim light, this one was worse than most, the one where I lived in Warwick Street for instance, but it required an effort to remember and compare. Nearly all the stone steps in the first flight up to the half-landing were broken, with jagged edges where bits of tread had fallen away. Some had almost no tread left. Plaster had come away from the walls from ceiling to floor, and along the lower part the bared cement, originally grey, was stained yellow and smelt of urine. On a patch where the rough surface of brickwork was exposed, someone had vomited, probably a passing drunk whose sense of propriety, demanding privacy, had deterred him from being sick in the street; or a returning resident who could not wait to climb the few steps to the communal toilet on the first half-landing. The detritus had stuck to the pitted surface in a wide streaky band as it slid lumpily from chest height to the floor. Judging by the strength of its smell, a mixture of beer and fish and chips, the vomit was recent. Another powerful smell, of decaying rubbish, came mainly from the ash-pits at the far end of the corridor, but also from a deposit scattered over the floor. Despite the cold wet wind blowing in hard from the street, the cloud of mephitic vapours lingered stupefyingly about our heads.

No one could afford to throw away food leavings that had any good left in them. They used up what they could in broths and soups and pies. But a final residue, potato peelings, fish heads or meat bones from which repeated boiling had extracted all nourishment, or food that had gone off - refrigerators were for the rich - was thrown on the ash-pits, whence it was scavenged by rats and stray cats. At dead of night, sometimes even in daytime, one heard their furious scrabblings there, resulting in a scatter of rubbish all over the close, so that one picked one's way among little heaps so far gone in putrefaction as to be rejected by even these ravening beasts. Here at our feet, great holes among the broken flagstones overflowed with such rotting material, foul bits of paper, excrement, mud, broken glass.

I realised I was looking at a close, really looking, for the first time. Perhaps the sickly yellow gloom, all the light the tiny gas mantle produced, worsened the impact. A revulsion hit me like a heavy punch to the head. In the fleeting dizziness I had a nightmare vision. I stood among gigantic glistening boils that had burst and the pus spattered on me and oozed down, like the vomit on the wall, in a foul stream to the floor.

How could I not have seen all this before, surrounding me as it did everywhere I went? Of course I had seen it. I had shut it out, tolerated it, accepted it as the given. We all had. Except Phil and his like. Traitors to their class! Yes, it could be any close.

Bernard stood at my side, silently insisting on an answer. It was now his turn to blow the flame of inner crisis within me, as I had done to him. He wanted me to come away from the sidelines, stop my inner war of uncertain aims, resentments and thwarted will, and harness the wasted energy at last. And become, presumably, as committed as he?

Why should I be so disturbed? What external spark had I been awaiting? I knew only one thing for certain. Not only Bernard would shift: I would too. How, and in what direction, I had no idea.

In provoking him I had sapped at my own position too. Nothing made any sense - though what did 'sense' mean?

I told myself that my dismay and sadness and self-accusation were simply the shock of looking upon these lower depths and seeing them truly at last, that I recoiled not from these visible truths alone but from all the questions in life they stood for, and from what its recognition would demand of me. I had tried, amazingly, to forget that I myself was part of this horror.

And yet I made excuses. This was only part of life after all. You didn't look at life layer by layer, like Peer Gynt with the onion. You looked at the whole. At relationships as they were and as they could be. Yes, that was the heart of the matter. How could you make 'sense' out of fine gradations between one face of suffering and another?

I heard myself say, and wondered afterwards at how inadequate the words were: 'It could do with a bit of titivating, couldn't it, like a lot of other things?'

'A bit!' he shouted. 'My God! Are you blind! Look at the shite flowing out of that lavatory, and that broken tap up there with all the water pouring away and taking the shite down the stairs with it . . .' This close, like a great many others, had a shared water tap, as well as a shared lavatory, on a little half-landing at the turn of the stairs between floors. '. . . and the ash-pits stinking out the whole street! And the shite and the piss and the vomit and God knows what else! We're standing in it! And how do you like this? No wonder there's disease everywhere!'

He pointed down to fresh rat droppings on the flagstones.

A shout startled us. It came from the far end of the corridor at the opening to the back yard, in the dark angle of wall beneath the stairs that the weak gas light could not reach: 'Aw, fuck aff an' gie us a hi' o' peace wull ye!' - a young man's voice, breathless, grumpy.

There was a rustling sound in the darkness and a girl's loud whisper: 'Wheesht, dear, wheesht!'

The man growled: 'Aw, hen, ah hadnae time tee ge'intae ye!'

The girl giggled and whispered audibly again: 'Maybe that's just as well dear! Ah tells ye ah never minded when the' happened!'

'Bu' ah do!' came the furious reply.

In her throaty whisper she said soothingly: 'Anyway, dear, ah'll ge' ma monthlies all right this way, won't ah?'

The man grunted non-commitally. Her thoughts of pregnancy - calculation or fear? - were evidently of no interest to him. 'Wait now,' he muttered. 'Ah'll be ready again soon enough.' More whisperings, now subdued.

The natural vigour in the venial sin, Is the way in which our lives begin . . .

Oh Venus of the ash-pits! How many virgins have you bled here? How many seeds of life implanted?

Title: My Guru and His Disciple Author: Christopher Isherwood Date: 1980 Publisher: Magnum B Christopher Isherwood [first person narrator] C Swami Ramakrishna G G. C.Ghosh J Frank Lloyd Wright K Sister L Amiya M Gerald Heard O Caskey U Aldous W "some miserable demi-devotee" X unknown

November 6. Master, lie with me specially at such times. Help me to remember you constantly and let me feel your presence. You aren't shocked by the camping of the publicans and the screaming of the sinners. You didn't condemn - you danced with the drunkards.

This was written after a party which my diary describes as a "massacre." It had left me with an unusually bad hangover and, no doubt, a sinkful of dishwashing to be done. Such a situation was apt to arouse my puritan resentment against the life I was allowing myself to lead. Only, this time, it seems that my reaction was more positive. If we had to have such parties, why not mentally invite Ramakrishna to join us? He couldn't refuse.

Ramakrishna had been known to get out of a carriage to dance with drunkards on the street. The sight of their reeling inspired him because it made him think of the way a holy man reels in ecstasy. He danced with his friend G. C. Ghosh, a famous dramatist and actor, when Ghosh was drunk, and encouraged him to go on drinking. Ghosh took advantage of Ramakrishna's permissiveness and visited him at all hours of the night, sometimes on the way home from a whorehouse.

Ghosh became a kind of patron saint for me - I felt closer to him than to any other member of Ramakrishna's circle - but I wasn't worthy to be his disciple. I failed to go the whole hog, as he had, either in debauchery or devotion. Ghosh dared to reveal himself shamelessly to Ramakrishna, thereby making a sacrifice of his own self-esteem and self-will and submitting totally to Ramakrishna's guidance. That was his greatness. I am sorry, now, that, throughout any long relationship with Swami, I never once came into his presence drunk. Something wonderful might have happened.

On March 1, 1949, I went up to the Center to take part in Ramakrishna's birthday puja. Webster was there. He had left the Center not long after I had. I think he was already married, or engaged to be.

At first he was a little awkward and on the defensive with me. Then we settled down into the mood of old alumni, and joked about the new building schemes - the temple is to have enlarged wings. The old place certainly has changed. Nearly all the girls are now up at Montecito, and there are several new monks here. George took flash-bulb photos throughout the puja. This bothered some people, but it's his privilege, granted by Swami.

They have recently bought another house, the one that stands behind 1946. There is a room in it which Swami says is for me. It rather scares me, the way he waits. Shall I ever find myself back there? It seems impossible - and yet -

While Swami was in Arizona the other day, as the guest of some devotees, he was taken to Taliesin West, where he met Frank Lloyd Wright. Swami - who had never heard of Wright - and whose previous ideas of architecture were limited to domes and lots of gold - was greatly impressed. "Mr. Wright," he said, "you are not an architect, you are a philosopher." And he added that, at Taliesin, you felt yourself "not in a house but protected by Nature." I couldn't help laughing when Swami told me this, because the cunningest flatterer couldn't have buttered Wright up more completely than Swami had, in his utter artlessness. Needless to say, Wright was enchanted.

July 26. Today I went to the Center to attend Sister's funeral - or rather, the part of it which took place in the temple. I think her family organized another ceremony elsewhere.

Sister died last week in Montecito. I saw her there on the 20th, I drove up for lunch. She had had pneumonia then, and an attack of uremia, but she seemed better that day. The dark plum-colored rash which had broken out in several places on her body was clearing. She apologised for it with her usual courtesy. She didn't want me to touch her hand, which was smeared with salve. She had known me as soon as I came into the room. "It's so nice to see old friends," she said. After a few minutes she drowsed off. Amiya and Swami told me that, much of the time, she thought she was back in Honolulu, where she lived during her youth. Swami also told me that she had had difficulty in urinating but was able to do so after he'd given her a drop of Ganges water. (How this would horrify some people I know!) I came away with a feeling that she was going to recover this time.

Today was a hot morning. I arrived at the temple in a bad mood, having been horrible and unkind to Caskey before I left the house. Some people arrived with flowers, which I hate at funerals and never bring if I can avoid it. There were women in various degrees of elegant mourning. Swami sat on the sofa in the living room. You couldn't exactly say his face looked tragic, but the brightness had left it and it was almost frighteningly austere.

He took my arm and led me into his bedroom, where he told me about Sister's death. Just before it happened, Swami found himself "in a high spiritual mood," and then they called him into her room, and at that moment the breath left her body with a faint puff, through the lips.

"She was a saint," Swami said. He believes that she passed into samadhi at the end. He said how, recently, she had told him that she never left the shrine until she had seen " light." She thought this quite normal and supposed that everybody saw it. In fact, she was apologizing to Swami because, in her case, it often took quite a long time and made her late for meals and kept people waiting.

Came away in a calm happy "open" mood, and felt a real horror of my unkindness to Caskey and of any unkindness to anyone. Thinking of Sister, I remembered how I asked her, once, what Vivekananda had been like. She answered without hesitation, "Oh, he was like a great cat - so graceful."

By gradual degrees, Gerald Heard had become disinclined to go on living at Trabuco. No doubt, as he grew older - he was now sixty - he felt the strain of being the central figure in this group, and of all the talk and letter writing and planning that it involved. This year, he came to a decision: Trabuco ought to belong to an organization which could make more effective use of it. Gerald easily persuaded his fellow trustees to agree with him, as soon as he had made it clear that he himself was determined to retire. And so Trabuco, which had never been the property of an individual, was offered to another non-individual, the Vedanta Society.

It so happened that a number of young men had joined the Center during the past months. Swami sent several of them to live at Trabuco. It was officially opened as a Vedanta monastery on September 7.

In October, Swami left for India with George and three of the nuns. They returned in May 1950. I saw Swami fairly often after his return, but I have no record of our meetings. My diary keeping almost stopped, that year, because of misery - sloth induced by the Korean War and the gradual breakdown of my relationship with Caskey. We were both aware of this breakdown but wrongly blamed it on the pressures of life in Los Angeles, so we decided to move down to Laguna Beach. Once settled into a house there, we soon began to jar upon each other again. My few diary entries of 1951 are mostly self-scoldings - for giving way to feelings of helplessness for being "criminally unhappy," for trying to impose my will on Caskey under the guise of "reason." I now began to spend more and more time away from him, staying in Los Angeles.

August 22, 1951. Today I had lunch with Swami, who is at Trabuco. He urged me, more strongly than ever before, to come back and live with them. He said, "It must happen. I've wanted it and prayed for it so much." I answered evasively, as usual.

Gerald Heard and Chris Wood came to visit him later, and I returned with them to Laguna and had tea. I asked Gerald what he thought I should do about Trabuco. He said that I should obey Swami and go to live there. He said that he knew Swami was "deeply disturbed" about me, and that he was disturbed himself. If I didn't do as Swami told me, "something terrible" might happen to me.

I asked, "What?" Gerald said that I might lose my faith entirely and cease to believe that God exists. He then became very mysterious, saying that he feared I was being followed by "something" which was trying to possess me, and even hinting that he had had a glimpse of it. I asked him to describe what it looked like. He gazed at me solemnly for a moment and then answered sternly, "No."

I was largely impressed by the dramatic power with which Gerald delivered his warning, but I simply couldn't take it seriously. I felt that it was his literary self speaking - especially since he had just written an excellent supernatural thriller in which a man performs a black-magical ritual to destroy his enemy, and consequently gets haunted by a familiar spirit in the form of a fox. The Black Fox was the title of Gerald's novel.

It wasn't that I pooh-poohed the idea that one could be possessed by a familiar. I had a wholesome respect for the dangers of dabbling in black magic and would never have done so under any circumstances. What I didn't believe was that one could fall into its power without somehow cooperating. My recent life had been sex-absorbed and drunken and angry, but certainly not devilish; I was sure I had never done anything to deserve the attentions of a black fox. As for losing my faith, the opposite was true. In my present dilemma, it was actually getting stronger. Indeed, I was beginning to think that it might drag me back to the Center, against any will.

August 23. This morning, on a sudden impulse, I drove to Trabuco and saw Swami and talked to him about the possibility of coming to live up there, or in Hollywood. I was careful not to commit myself but of course Swami now takes it for granted that I'm coming.

He said that Gerald and Aldous had come to him and told him things about the way I am living, and asked him to remonstrate with me. Swami had answered, "Why don't you pray for him?"

I was touched and delighted by Swami's reaction, which I interpreted as a rebuke to Gerald and Aldous. Wasn't he telling them, in effect, "You'd do better to love Chris more and criticize him less"? That was what I wanted him to have meant. It did annoy me that the two of them had spoken to Swami behind my back - and yet, what else could I have expected? They regarded me as an irresponsible child. You don't interfere with the doings of other people's children, you go to the parent. When I asked Swami what it was that they had told him, he said vaguely that I'd been seen "in some bad place" - the nature of the place didn't seem to interest him. It could only have been a homosexual bar. But who could have seen me there? Obviously neither Gerald nor Aldous in person. No doubt it was some miserable demi-devotee with a foot in both worlds; just like myself, six years ago. He must have feared that I'd recognized him at that bar, and relieved his own guilt by reporting me and my improper behavior.

I found it much easier to forgive Aldous for his interference than Gerald. Aldous didn't know any better, he was essentially a square. Happily, my resentment against Gerald was to disappear before long, because of a profound change he made in his own outlook.

Title: ON MY WAY TO THE CLUB Author: LUDOVIC KENNEDY A H G Wells B Ludovic Kennedy (first person narrator) C a taxi driver D Professor Gordon Ray E another taxi driver F Princess Margaret G A J P Taylor J Anthony Rouse K Rebecca West L Rebecca West's agents M Hugh Carleton-Greene O Basil Hume R a TV producer T supporter writing to the Times U Times editorial writer V writers of letter to the Times W Heald, Shawcross and others X unknown Y Bruce Macmanaway Z the Queen Mother
Cardinal Hume, Albert Speer and the Queen Mother

For most of the 1970s while living in the Borders I was commuting to London by air for three nights a week to present late-night current affairs programmes — 24 Hours, Midweek, Tonight, Newsday. Of the thousand-plus programmes I must have taken part in during those years I remember very little, and those mostly trivial things: Thor Heyerdahl the Norwegian explorer arriving half an hour late from Broadcasting House because the taxi driver sent to fetch him understood he had been told to pick up four airedales (a reasonable enough request, he reckoned, from the BBC); the maverick film director Ken Russell whacking Alexander Walker, the Evening Standard film critic, over the head with a copy of his own paper; Norman St John Stevas, MP (now Lord St John of Fawsley) winking at a cameraman who had had the stars and stripes sewn on to the bottom of his jeans; Enoch Powell's eyes filling with tears when I asked if he was an emotional man; A. J. P. Taylor on his seventy-fifth birthday admitting he had never been offered an honour and when I asked him which he would like if given the choice, his replying, &bquo;A baronetcy, because it would make my elder son so dreadfully annoyed.&equo;

But there were some characters who, for one reason or another, I have cause to remember. The novelist Rebecca West, for instance. We were due to record a longish interview with her one afternoon, and over lunch at her favourite restaurant in Basil Street. My producer Anthony Rouse and I both asked if there was any subject in her long life that she did not want touched upon. She said none: &bquo;Ask what you like.&equo; This clearance was important because I did intend to ask one or two questions about a matter which had already been aired in several books and articles, her love affair with H. G. Wells and the child of that union, the writer Anthony West. There had been conflicting stories as to whether Anthony had been intended, Wells having gone on record as saying he had been conceived in a moment of carelessness, professor Gordon Ray, who edited the West-Wells correspondence, as saying it was a deliberate attempt by Wells to keep Rebecca with him, and Rebecca herself as saying, &bquo;Wells cheated me of all but one child.&equo; Was the child intended? I asked, and she answered firmly, &bquo;The child was not intended.&equo;

A day or two later Anthony Rouse and I were astonished to hear that her agents were demanding the interview be withdrawn because, as she complained in a letter to the BBC's Director General, Hugh Carleton-Greene, we had given her a solemn undertaking over lunch not to mention the matter of Wells and their son at all. I suppose she thought that Greene would not ask us to confirm what she had said, but chide us for impropriety on the strength of her word alone. Whatever her reasoning, I was greatly shocked that a woman of her achievements and reputation should stoop to such shabby fibbing.

A good example of how upset people could be in those days by the questioning of their religious beliefs occurred in my interview with Basil Hume soon after he had received his cardinal's hat. Before the interview we talked over coffee in his study next door to Westminster Cathedral. A long, lean man with an ascetic face, he looked the celibate monk he had always been, but in private conversation he was unpompous, outgoing, witty. When he told me that he had inherited the cardinal's robes of his predecessor, Cardinal Heenan, and I asked if they fitted, he said, &bquo;No. But I have a gem of a nun who's a wizard with a needle, and after she'd taken a tuck in the waist and put two inches on the hem, they looked almost tailor-made.&equo; He also spoke of an occasion when, dressed in his archbishop's robes after some function, he had hailed a taxi to go home and realized he had no money. &bquo; I thought, if I tell the driver I'm a real archbishop and I'll pay him the other end he'll just say, &bquo;Oh, stuff it, mate!&equo; Luckily Reggie Bosanquet was standing nearby, so I borrowed a quid off him.&equo;

When it came to the interview he was somewhat nervous and on the defensive (not being an old hand at it), and while I did my best to make him feel at ease, I felt it incumbent to put questions about the Roman Catholic Church's teachings on divorce, homosexuality, abortion, celibacy, etc., the answers to which I believed would be of interest to Catholics and non-Catholics alike. Being an honest man, he tried to answer honestly, and there were times when he clearly found it difficult to reconcile the absolutism of his Church's dogma with the dictate of his own conscience. Noting and regretting his discomfiture, the public subsequently turned on the questioner. &bquo;By his assurance, condescension, ease of posture and conversational initiative,&equo; said a Times editorial, &bquo;Mr Kennedy might just as well have been a bishop testing a candidate for ordination.&equo; Those looking for a sign of grace or spiritual solace from the Cardinal had to make do with what The Times called &bquo;exemplary patience and meekness&equo; and writers to the letters column taxed me with shallowness and poor taste. But I had my supporters. Claiming that millions of people had had their lives damaged by the teachings of Roman Catholicism, one correspondent wrote, &bquo;There should be no restraint in asking the most searching questions of a man … who aspires to bring people and their children into the Catholic fold.&equo; As with the comments of Heald, Shawcross and others after my documentary on the police, I do not believe that such an interview would attract that sort of attention today. But then today that kind of interview rarely happens.

I also interviewed two healers. One was the famous Harry Edwards whom I visited with Anthony Rouse at his home and healing centre in Surrey. After the interview I mentioned as casually as I could that as a result of blocked sinuses I had lost my sense of smell (with the exceptions of petrol, laundry and excrement) for years, and could he think of any way of restoring it? He leaned towards me, put the middle finger of each hand on either side of my nose and with a look of intense concentration rubbed each one gently up and down. Within a few minutes I not only felt but heard the tissue in the sinuses beginning to break up, and by the time he had finished both were completely clear. They remained clear, and my sense of smell returned, for two years.

Bruce Macmanaway's achievements were even more remarkable. I had known Bruce for some years as he often ministered to friends, and on two or three occasions when he had laid his hands on my back, the heat emanating from them was like a blowtorch. He had discovered his gift for healing quite by chance. Attending on the battlefield to a wounded soldier who was crying out with pain, he took the soldier's hand in his. At once the soldier stopped crying, the pain having disappeared; but as soon as Bruce removed his hand, it returned.

Bruce had a simple pendulum of the kind people employ to locate water, and which he used for diagnosis. To show how it worked, he ran it lightly around my producer while we were discussing the shape of the interview. When he reached his right thigh, the pendulum became quite agitated. &bquo;Something not quite right there,&equo; said Bruce. The producer looked stunned. &bquo;I had an operation there last month,&equo; he said. Bruce said, &bquo;I can use the pendulum to do more than that. If you were to write down on a sheet of paper half a dozen simple statements of fact which were either true or false and then turn the questions face down, the pendulum will come up with which are which.&equo;

I made no comment on this at the time (though privately I thought it a brash boast) but when we met for the interview I asked if he had brought the pendulum with him. He said he had. Half-way through the interview I reminded him of his claim, pulled out a sheet of paper on which I had written three true statements and three false ones, and putting it face down on the table, invited him to use the pendulum to indicate the correct answers. He got the first one right, the second one right, the third one right, the fourth one right, the fifth one wrong, the sixth one right. I thought it was a tour de force, but he seemed far more concerned about getting one wrong (&bquo;It could have been the studio lights&equo;) than pleased at getting five right.

At this time still a regular smoker, I made one film which made me drastically change my views about it. This was a documentary on cancer research. One distressing sequence we filmed in the laboratories portrayed mice with their little noses pushed into holes in a plastic tube along which was passed tobacco smoke equivalent to that inhaled by a human on twenty cigarettes a day. I forget now what the simulated time factor was — I think twenty years — but the upshot was that three-quarters of the mice developed lung cancer and died. More disturbing was this statistic: that while seven out of eight of those who died of lung cancer were heavy smokers, only one heavy smoker in eight died of lung cancer. This may have brought comfort to some but statistically it was as risky as playing Russian roulette, and I laid off smoking for the next seven years.

One film which, sadly, was never made was a documentary proposed by Alasdair Milne, then Controller of BBC Scotland, to celebrate the seventy-fifth birthday of the Queen Mother. She had not yet been interviewed on television or radio, but we thought it worthwhile approaching her private secretary to see if she might consider it. As a result I was bidden to Clarence House for a pre-lunch gin and tonic with her and Princess Margaret. She asked what I had in mind, and I said an informal conversation about the principal events of her life from her girlhood at Glamis Castle to the present day. She seemed to consider the proposal favourably and Princess Margaret, who I knew was keen on the idea, was supportive. Then the Queen Mother said, &bquo;I'm sure you'll understand there is one subject I couldn't possibly talk about.&equo; I was pretty certain what it was, but I wanted to hear her say it. &bquo;The abdication.&equo; &bquo;Not at all, not even briefly?&equo; I said. She was adamant. &bquo;I'm afraid not.&equo; She gave me a winning smile. &bquo;I'm so sorry.&equo;

For the next week I thought long and hard about undertaking an interview with the Queen Mother which would cover every aspect of her life but the great historical event which had changed it for ever; which had propelled her and her husband to the throne, had made happy and glorious a reign which might otherwise have been disastrous, yet which was tragically cut short by illness and death, and which in the long run had made her far and away the most loved of all the members of the Royal Family. I was not proposing to ask her about her relationship, or lack of it, with Edward VIII and Mrs Simpson, or to what degree she blamed them for the unexpected and, at the time, unwelcome change in her life. But not to have mentioned the subject at all, to leave a void which demanded to be filled — that, it seemed to me, would have been Hamlet without the prince (or, more accurately, Queen Mother). And so, with regrets, the project lapsed.

Class: BIOGRAPHY: AUTO: SERIOUS Title: As I Walked Out One Midsummer Morning Author: Laurie Lee Date: 1969 Publisher: Andre Deutsch B Laurie Lee (first person narrator) C Cleo G Cleo's father J Cleo's mother K Arnold L Phillip O'Connor M six-foot Billy O girl on the floor above W "a dozen coppers" X unknown
Chapter 2 LONDON My village, my home-town, each had a kind of duck-pond centre, but London had no centre at all - just squat little streets endlessly proliferating themselves like ripples in estuary mud. I arrived at Paddington in the early evening, and walked around for a while. The sky was different here, high, wide and still, rosy with smoke and the weltering sun. There was a smell of rank oil, rotting fish and vegetables, hot pavements and trodden tar; and a sense of surging pressure, the heavy used-up air of the cheek-by-jowl life around me - the families fermenting behind slack coloured curtains, above shops and in resounding tenements, sons changing their shirts, daughters drying their hair, waistcoated fathers staring at their tea, and in the streets the packed buses grinding nose to tail and the great night coming on.

I was excited, having got here, but also unprepared, and I wasn't sure what I was going to do. But I had Cleo's address - I didn't know anyone else - so I thought this was the time to use it. I'd met Cleo in the spring, in a Tolstoyan settlement near Stroud, where she was living in a borrowed caravan, together with her handsome father - an eagle-nosed left-wing agitator - and her distressed and well-born mother.

Their origins were uncertain but they'd recently fled from America, where I suspect the father had been in some political trouble. The sixteen-year-old girl was not the kind I'd been used to, and her beauty had knocked me silly. She'd had a husky, nutty Anglo-American accent, huge brown eyes flecked like crumbled honey, a smooth leggy figure, lithe as an Indian pony; and we'd pretended to be in love.

The family were penniless, but they had connections, and friends were always lending them houses; and the address of the last one - somewhere on Putney Heath - sounded very grand indeed. When I finally got there, having walked several miles through the dusk, the house appeared to have been hit by a bomb - only half a wing and the main staircase still standing in a huge garden of churned-up roots.

They were sitting on the staircase, which was open to the sky, and seemed rather surprised to see me - except for lovely Cleo, who cried 'I knew it!' and ran down the steps to meet me. She had kept up superbly with my memories of her, and looked even better than I expected, her body packed beautifully into her shirt and shorts, and her skin the colour of rosewood.

'You walked it, didn't you? - I told you, Daddy.' She led me proudly up the eroded staircase, then took me to her room and showed me my bundle of letters which lay wrapped in her scented nightdress. So I was invited to stay. Cleo burnt my clothes and fitted me out with some of her father's. The mansion was being torn down to make room for a block of flats, and the father had a job with the builders; meanwhile, with the half-ruin to live in, they were temporarily secure, and the mother was slowly recovering her senses.

I slept on the floor in the remaining fragment of ball-room, and ate with the family in the Victorian kitchen, whose tall Gothic windows looked from the lip of the Heath across London to the Hampstead hills. I was in luck, and I knew it, and took it easy at first. It seemed a nice soft spot to be in. Sometimes the father, in his loud public voice, would lecture me on the theory of anarchy, on the necessity for political and personal freedom, and on his contempt for the moral law. When he was out, the mother, pale and damp round the eyes, would talk about her childhood home in the shires, and lament the scruffy world of conspiratorial garrets through which this attractive bounder had led her. At other times the daughter, heart-stoppingly voluptuous in her tight Californian pants, would lead me by the hand through the ruined garden, to the last clump of still-rooted myrtles, then crouch, bare-kneed, and pull me down beside her, and demand to know my ideological convictions.

Beautiful Cleo; she never knew what she did to me, her eyes slanting under the myrtle leaves, her coiled russet limbs like something from a Rousseau jungle, her chatter never still for a moment. But not of what I expected; never a word about love, or my hunger, or the summer night. The funeral baked meats of her father's mind was all she seemed able to serve me. He was the one, of course, and I was not old enough to replace him. I thought her the most ravishing and wasted child in the world.

Then one night I took her out on to the twilit Heath, where lovers lay thick as sheaves. We walked miles round the common, and Cleo never drew breath; her lovely mouth was a political megaphone. Finally I pushed her against a tree and desperately kissed her. She lent me her lips like an improving book. 'But I must have the Movement. You understand, don't you? You must join the Party,' she said.

I didn't give up. I made one last try. After all, I was in considerable torment. So next morning, at dawn, I fetched one of the builder's ladders and climbed through her bed-room window. She lay easily sleeping in her rose-coloured nightdress, a soft breathing heap of love. The hushed dawn, the first birds, and me in my black Russian pyjamas - surely she must melt to this magic moment. As I slipped into her bed she rolled drowsily into my arms, then woke, and her body froze. 'If Daddy knew about this, he'd murder you,' she said. It was no idle figure of speech.

Scrambling back down the ladder in the dawn's early light, I realized that blood could be thicker than theory. Later that day, Cleo's father got me a job with the builders, and gave me the address of some Putney lodgings. I don't know what she had told him, but he'd acted swiftly. It seemed a reasonable compromise between New Thought and the horsewhip.

On my own once again, I found a snug little room over an eating-house in the Upper Richmond Road - a shambling second-floor back which overhung the railway and rocked all day to the passing trains, while the hot meaty steam of boiling pies filtered up through cracks in the floor.

The cafe downstairs was a shadowy tunnel lined with high-backed wooden pews, carbolic-scrubbed and exclusively male, with all the comforts of a mediaeval refectory. My rent of twenty-five shillings a week included the furnished room and three cafe meals a day - a carte blanche arrangement which I exploited fully and which introduced me to new ways of eating. The blackboard menu, propped on the pavement outside, offered a list as immutable as the elements: 'Bubble. Squeak. Liver and B. Toad-in-the-Hole. Meat Pudding or Pie.' My favourite was the pie - a little basin of meat wrapped in a caul of suety dough which was kept boiling all day in a copper cauldron in a cupboard under the stairs. Turned out on the plate, it steamed like a sodden napkin, emitting a mournful odour of laundries; but once pricked with the fork it exploded magnificently with a rich lava of beefy juices. There must have been over a pound of meat in each separate pie - a complete working-man's meal, for sixpence. And remembering the thin days at home, when meat was only for Sundays, I ate at least one of them every day. Otherwise I was encouraged to ring the changes on the house's limited permutations - Squeak, Toad, Liver and B; or as a privilege, an occasional herring. A mug of tea at each meal was of course served without asking, and was so strong you could trot a mouse on it. As for afters, there was a postscript at the foot of the menu which seemed to be painted in permanent enamel: 'During the Present Hot Spell Why Not Try a Cold Sweet?' Winter and summer, it was custard and prunes.

Arnold, the proprietor - who was also my landlord - was a man in his early thirties, a rounded dandy with heavy cream-white jowls and delicate parboiled hands. He did all the work alone, both the cooking and serving, and moved with the rolling dignity of a eunuch, dressed in tight cotton gowns, buttoned up to the throat, which also gave him the appearance of one of his cloth-wrapped pies. He was bald, large-headed, red-lipped and corseted, and was given to abstractions, silence and reveries; and he seemed clearly to be a cut above his clients, though if he thought so, he never showed it. Each day, before breakfast, he padded around the tables laying out the morning newspapers like hymn-sheets; and these again were scrupulously changed in the evening. The customers also had the benefit of his soft-voiced summaries. I've never known a man who gave to this particular job such a sense of modest almost priest-like dedication, advising and serving the labourers at his table and taking their coppers like a church collection.

In fact, this ascetic purveyor of gross Toads and Squeaks was something of a mystery. One might have imagined him to have chosen the job as a purge, an act of self-abasement; but certainly not for the money. I lived for six months in his house, but I never knew him - though I knew he had another life. I knew, for instance, about the two pretty children who visited him briefly each Saturday night. And that in his first-floor back he kept in careful seclusion a young and beautiful wife. Sometimes as I climbed to my room, I saw her standing in her half-open doorway, a tantalising strip of voluptuous boredom, her hair piled high and elaborately set, her eyes burning like landing lights. She wore a white silk wrap buttoned up to the throat, and her toe-nails were painted green. She was about my own age, but she never spoke. Nor did Arnold ever mention her.

My job at the buildings took it out of me at first, and I lived at a pitch of healthy exhaustion. All day I pushed barrows of wet cement till my muscles stretched and burned. At night, I returned to the steaming cafe, ate my pie, then climbed to my backstairs room, where I sat half-dozing at the window table, gazing down at the long green trains.

It was the first time in my life I'd had a room of my own, uncluttered with sisters and brothers, and I spread all over it, throwing my clothes about, and keeping the door well locked and bolted. Grateful for privacy at last, I was content just to sit there, lord of the room and its chromium furniture, spending the long summer evenings nodding alone at the table, or drawing girls, or writing short sleepy poems. London waited outside - a stubby plateau of chimneys, a low mutter of dragging sound; but at the beginning there was little I could do about it. My body was too used up.

It took a little while to get toughened-up to the job, to the stiff hours of blistering labour, which wore my hands into holes and pulled my muscles about into new and unaccustomed contortions. I was dead-beat at first, and walked in a tottering daze; but I was young, and I hardened fast. Soon my palms had callouses rough as salted leather, which I could rub together with pride. At last I could get home in the evening without falling into a stupor. I could even begin to look about me.

Of course, I'd not much identity with the city yet; it was just rooftops and a changing sky, a thump of radios coming from open windows, and the summer yelp of the back-street children. And the frail cord with my family was still uncut. Boot-boxes of flowers came by post from my mother, sweet slipshod gatherings from the fields and hedges, wrapped in damp moss and ivy leaves.

Then I made a small break-through. I won a poetry prize in a weekly competition organized by a newspaper, The Sunday Referee - for a poem I'd dashed off with a sixpenny postal order and never expected to hear of again. Arnold showed it to me one morning, his red mouth twitching; and it was the first of mine I'd ever seen printed. 'Is this really you?' he asked fastidiously. 'I wasn't aware you had such beautiful thoughts.'

Soon after this, I met Philip O'Connor distributing leaflets on Putney Common - a quick ready youth with a fine hungry face and a shock of thick obsidian curls. We were both of us living alone at that time, scribbling poetry in neighbouring streets, so for a while we visited each other quite often, establishing a defensive minority of two. To me, he had an adolescent mystery about him, a frenetic melancholy, like a schoolboy Hamlet; and his poems were the most extravagant I'd read until then, rhapsodic eruptions of surrealist fantasy. I was impressed by his poems; he thought little of mine. I was the older; he was paternal. He used to lie on my bed, nervously scratching his curls, and switching his dark eyes on and off, reciting his latest verses in clear cold tones, snappy and rather bitter. 'You and I are the only true voices left alive in the world,' he'd say. When using my room, his manners were perfect. Not so on his own home ground, when his claims were more self-centred. But he had a nice sense of territory.

Another friend of that period was six-foot Billy, who ate regularly in the cafe downstairs - a stranded Negro sailor from Troy, Missouri, who had either jumped ship or had lost his way. I never knew where he slept, or how he lived, but every evening he'd be there in his pew, dropping great lumps of butter into his hot strong tea and carefully stripping the bones from a kipper. His huge fat cheeks were lightly scarred by knives, and the marks of knuckledusters ran across his eyebrows. But he was sleepily gentle, never raised his voice, and his favourite < pb n=41> diversions seemed to be tea and gossip. Billy was an excellent listener, and it seemed impossible to bore him. He'd salute the dullest story with the most flattering attention. 'Waal, ah'll go slash mah wrists, if that ain't sumpin',' he'd murmur. 'You may hang me up by mah entrails.' Sometimes he'd disappear for a few days, then pop up, beaming. 'Gouge mah eyes, shuh good to see you.' Then we'd go next door for a game of billiards, which he played with a velvet touch. But he didn't last long. They finally caught up with him. A dozen coppers with rolled-up macs. Stepping gingerly into the cafe, expecting a struggle. But he went with them like a child.

Then my days with Arnold, too, were numbered. A girl came to live on the floor above me. She moved into the attic cupboard just under the roof, which till then had only stored potatoes. The girl seemed to do no work, though occasionally I'd hear her gramophone playing and the sound of her bare feet dancing. Sometimes we'd meet on the stairs and have to struggle together to get round the bend in the banisters. A couple of inches from mine, her eyes never blinked. Her hair smelt of pies and doughnuts. 'D'you see that film called The Rat?' she asked me one day. 'You're his bleedin' image, you are.' Her friends came in the evening, and left in the morning. Then Arnold would take her breakfast up on a tray. At last, apologetically, he said he'd be wanting my room. It seemed he was extending the business.

Title: Tricks of Memory Author: Peregrine Worsthorne Date: 1993 Publisher: Weidenfeld & Nicholson B Peregrine Worsthorne [first person narrator] C Claudie G the family doctor J the Hungarian doctor K Hugh de Wardener L Perry's mother M Perry's father O Roger Lubbock R the nurses and doctors S lots of perry's mother's social worker friends and colleagues T Dr Wardener's team U "friends" W "a patient" X unknown Y "old comrades" Z "doctors from other hospitals"

Sometime before Mr Deakin's demise he had appointed me as number two correspondent in Paris, in succession to Charles Hargrove whom he sent to Bonn. Unfortunately just before taking up this post, to which Claudie was particularly looking forward, I went down with mumps which deteriorated into jaundice. Being ill in rat-infested Cardinal's Wharf was no joke. The family doctor was loath to travel to such distant parts and the only local one, a scruffy old Hungarian, spoke very little English. On his first visit he poured my sinister-looking urine sample down the bathroom washbasin, dismissing Claudie's protest at his lack of hygiene with the phrase, 'it ees not a septicus but an anti-septicus', an excuse which no more convinced Claudie on that occasion than it did when parroted by me in later years to justify my lazily using many hotel bedroom basins for roughly the same unhygienic purpose. Soon my condition became quite critical and I was carted off by ambulance to St Thomas's Hospital where I stayed for four months, under the care of a young doctor, Hugh de Wardener, who went on to become one of the world's leading renal experts. At first he was completely baffled by my exact kind of jaundice. That I had jaundice was clear enough since my skin had gone canary yellow. But it couldn't be the strain it seemed to be, he told Claudie, because that one could only be caught through living in rat-infested conditions which were unlikely to apply to me. Furthermore that particular strain had become rare to the point of non-existence, a bad memory from the days of Victorian slums. After Claudie had reluctantly and shamefacedly put him in the picture about Cardinal's Wharf, he became really interested. I cannot remember what my virus was called but it was sufficiently rare for doctors from other hospitals to want to come in to take a look. And the nurses, taking their cue from the doctors, also began to treat me as something special. Had I not been feeling so lousy, and so frustrated about the receding chances of taking up my appointment in Paris, my lot would have been quite enviable. How quickly one gets used to hospital life, particularly if you have an interesting disease which endows you with a kind of star status. Instead of being worried by new and alarming symptoms I rather welcomed them since they only served to deepen Dr Wardener and his team's interest. In the kingdom of the sick the seriously ill patient is king.

Dr Wardener did not take the traditional view that rich and fatty foods are bad for jaundice. On the contrary, he said, if the patient fancies such foods, let him have them. Likewise drink. Anything to keep your strength and morale up. When I told my mother this she was rather put out. I think she suspected the cause of my jaundice had been over-indulgence of one sort or another - too many of Claudie's French sauces, perhaps - and had seen it as heaven's warning that I should go on a strict diet. Even more to the point, Nellie, her cook, had been told to prepare a daily consignment of boiled fish and it was too late to change plans now. My father's reaction was quite different. Hampers of smoked salmon, grouse and champagne arrived from Fortnums. How characteristically irresponsible, sniffed my mother when she saw them. What I dreaded was that he and she would both arrive at my bedside at the same time. Fear of this gave me nightmares and worried me more than anything to do with the disease itself. Claudie and the nurses worked out an elaborate warning system which never failed, although there were some close shaves. My father would make a joke of my fears, offering to get under the bed or hide in a cupboard, as in a Feydeau farce, if the worst came to the worst. But for me it was anything but a joke. In my weakened state - at one point I weighed less than seven stone - the shock might well have been more than my heart could stand.

To begin with, friends would visit me regularly. But as the weeks stretched to months the visits became rarer. This was not because of any lack of willingness on their part. They suggested coming but I put them off. What was going on in the world of the healthy seemed so much less interesting than what was going on in the world of the sick. Every piece of hospital gossip brought to me by the nurses and doctors was eagerly received. But The Times office gossip, say, had lost all savour. Friends who arrived rosy-cheeked and bursting with health made me wince, not with envy but with embarrassment. I had to avert my eyes in exactly the same way as someone healthy averts his eyes when faced by offensive illness. Perhaps this is nature's way of consoling the sick. More likely, I suppose, it is a case of when in Rome do as Rome does. Hospitals have their own values, their own routines, their own horizons, and after a time a patient starts finding these natural and normal and those of the healthy world unnatural and abnormal. A preoccupation of mine, for example, which visitors could not reasonably be expected to share, was the colour of my urine. Nothing else occupied my waking or indeed dreaming hours more than this. Passing water was a matter of high drama. If the urine spurting into the bottle made a dark yellow froth, or a darker yellow than the time before, this meant that I was getting worse; a lighter froth, on the other hand, indicated improvement. On each occasion, of course, there was room for doubt. Perhaps the sun was shining brighter. Not wishing to rely on my own eye I would consult the nurses for a second opinion, and even the cleaners. Not that I cared all that much about getting better. After three months or so I had given up hope on that score. Concern about the colour had become almost an end in itself, like some piece of research whose original purpose the scholar has long since forgotten. Nor was it only the colour of my urine which required regular examination. So did the colour of my skin, and the colour of my tongue, not to mention the colour of my liver, slivers of which were occasionally extracted by Dr Wardener so as to enable him to know more about my progress, or rather lack of progress. With all these pressing matters on my mind I found the affairs of the great world a most unwelcome distraction and could hardly wait for kind visitors to be gone so as to concentrate again on the important business in hand.

So preoccupied was I with my illness that when Claudie gave me the marvellous news that she was three months gone in pregnancy I did not immediately realise that she could not possibly go on living alone at Cardinal's Wharf, amidst the rats and the grime. Fortunately my Cambridge friend, Roger Lubbock, now a London publisher, did. Giving Claudie a lift home after dark he realised for the first time how brave she had been to stick it out and immediately arranged for her to come and stay with Oliver and Patty Knox in Adam's Row where he was lodging at the time. Roger and Olly had been friends at Eton and then at King's and also in the navy, in whose service Roger had been a great deal more active (winning the DSC on motor torpedo boats) than had Olly who, for the most part, had been at Bletchley where his father, Dillwyn Knox, played such an important part in breaking the German Enigma code. Claudie's life was immediately transformed. For Adam's Row in Mayfair, next door to the Connaught Hotel, was a very different environment to the south bank; in the longer run my life was too since the Knoxs and the Lubbocks were to become our closest friends.

Possibly it was news of the baby on the way that jolted me into getting better. In any event, one morning, instead of there being a head of yellow froth on my urine, there were transparent Lux-like bubbles - the long-awaited sign of recovery. A fortnight or so later Claudie invited Dr Wardener to have a glass of my father's champagne and he called the nurses in to drink 'my health'. The phrase made me a little sad. I had seen Dr Wardener daily, often twice daily, for four months, in the course of which there had been some pretty darkish nights of the soul, and this relationship, so close and highly charged, was about to end. It was not unlike the drinks between old comrades the night before demobilisation which are as much wake as celebration. And just as old comrades promise to keep in touch in civvy street, so did Dr Wardener and I promise to keep in touch in the world of the healthy. But we never did. Our final conversation, however, has often come back to me. I asked him whether drinking might induce a recurrence of my jaundice and he pooh-poohed the idea. 'The hangovers may be worse,' he said, 'but that is all.' They certainly have been, and so far that has been all. Something else from that period also brings it back to me. John Raymond, a new friend on The Times - who went on to become a fine literary critic - gave me a beautiful edition of Gibbon's Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire to read in hospital. It is on my shelves now and few things fill me with more nostalgia than those pages still stained yellow by my sweaty jaundiced hands.

For convalescence Claudie and I went up to Dyneley where Simon lent us a cottage on the estate. It was the one where James the Dyneley butler had been born and bred, along with his brothers and sisters. Although now very comfortably and costly done up, and ideal for the two of us, it was difficult to imagine how its far from large one bedroom could have housed that entire family. Rationing was still on but the Cliviger butcher, Mr Blackburn, whom I had known since childhood, sent up lots of liver - the one meat which I not unnaturally did not feel like eating. Anxious not to appear ungrateful I went down to thank him for his kind and considerate gesture, which prompted him to despatch further bloodstained parcels of this sickening offal. Fortunately Claudie was eating for two and it could well be that Mr Blackburn's misplaced generosity contributed greatly to the health and beauty of Dominique, our baby daughter who was born not all that long after.

In preparation for this great event it fell to Claudie - my state of health not being up to the job - to find a family home. My mother, who had generously offered to put up the then princely sum of £5,000, was very keen on Baron's Court, an area known to me only as an Underground station through which people passed, preferably as fast as possible. Pressed to explain her preference she said that lots of her social worker friends and colleagues lived there and loved it, which did not seem to us a conclusive reason for supposing that we would too. With the benefit of hindsight I now see that my mother had a point, as was often the case. We could probably have bought a great mansion in Baron's Court, with a large garden, for £5,000, or in some of the other locations she also favoured - Barnes, Wimbledon, Putney and Richmond. Our objections owed less to snobbery than lack of imagination. Nobody we knew then lived in those areas. Indeed few people we knew lived north of Hyde Park. My father still owned two houses in Belgrave Square and it somehow seemed quite wrong even to consider descending from Belgravia to Baron's Court in one plunge. That, of course, was just what my mother did want, for all the old familiar reasons.

In the end, after much searching, Claudie compromised by plumping for 41 Scarsdale Villas, not far from both Kensington High Street and Earl's Court Road, an area which was not fashionable in those days although it has since become so. (Our old house went the other day for three-quarters of a million - alas three decades or more after we had sold it.) By the time I came south from Lancashire, fully recuperated, Claudie had done all the hard work of doing it up, moving in and finding an au pair, as they had just begun to be called. Some might say I had it made. In fact that was what Claudie did say, or a ruder French version of the same. Even getting to The Times was easy, by District line to Blackfriars from Earl's Court Road Station, only a two-minute or so walk from the house. Title: CURRICULUM VITAE Author: Muriel Spark Date: 1992 Publisher: Constable B Muriel Spark (first person narrator) C T S Eliot D Ann Fleming G Dr Lieber J Father Frank O'Malley K Graham Greene L Alan Maclean M Mark van Doren N Evelyn Waugh's friends O Allen Tate P Mrs Bool Q Erna Horne R Peter Owen's uncles S one of Peter Owen's uncles T a talking typewriter U Evelyn Waugh V Alan Barnsley aka Gabriel Fielding W Mrs Lazzari (Tiny) X unknown Y Auberon Waugh Z MacMillan (publishing company)

In 1953 on my return from Edinburgh, feeling desperately weak, I wrote a review, in the Church of England Newspaper, of T.S. Eliot's play The Confidential Clerk which was first performed at the Edinburgh Festival. The editor, the Rev. Clifford Rhodes, sent the review to Eliot, who replied to him, very favourably, on 30 September. Clifford Rhodes passed on Eliot's reply to me. He thanked Rhodes for the critique of his play by me, and added:

I should have acknowledged it as soon as I read it, for it struck me as one of the two or three most intelligent reviews I had read. It seemed to me remarkable that anyone who could only have seen the play once, and certainly not have read it, should have grasped so much of its intention.

This, of course, made me feel very cheerful. I was already embarked on a study of Eliot. Frank Sheed of Sheed & Ward commissioned a short book.

So I continued my Eliot studies. But in 1954 shortly after my reception into the Church of Rome something strange occurred. Something strange was not surprising, because, foolishly, I had been taking dexedrine as an appetite suppressant, so that I would feel less hungry. It was a mad idea.

As I worked on the Eliot book one night the letters of the words I was reading became confused. They formed anagrams and crosswords. In a way, as long as this sensation lasted, I knew they were hallucinations. But I didn't connect them with the dexedrine. It is difficult to convey how absolutely fascinating that involuntary word-game was. I thought at first that there was a code built into Eliot's work and tried to decipher it. Next, I seemed to realize that this word-game went through other books by other authors. It appeared that they were phonetics of Greek, and were extracts from the Greek dramatists.

This experience lasted from 25 January to 22 April 1954. I saw Dr Lieber, a general practitioner, in Wimpole Street. Dr Lieber was an old friend, a private - that is to say, not a National Health - doctor. He agreed to treat me without fees until I was better again. But he explained that lots of women in those days of rationing gave up part of their share to their families, and consequently suffered from under-nourishment. I know he suspected that I ate the wrong food for while I was convalescent in the country he wrote to me frequently; I still have his letters. 'Be sure to eat the right food,' he says repeatedly.

My friends, June and Neville, Christine and Jerzy, were very sympathetic. I was aware of being surrounded by friends. Matter-of-fact Hugo Manning, a night-journalist who worked

on Reuters, and also a poet and amateur philosopher, was a great source of moral support. As soon as I stopped taking dexedrine the delusions of the word-game stopped. But I felt ill, as I had felt at Edinburgh the previous year. I found a friend in Father Frank O'Malley, a kind of lay-psychologist and Jungian. He didn't think I needed to go for psychiatric treatment, but I saw him often. In the the mean time Graham Greene, through Derek Stanford, had offered to give me a monthly sum of twenty pounds until I got better. He really admired my work and was enthusiastic about helping me. With the cheque he would often send a few bottles of red wine - as I was happy to record when speaking at Graham's memorial service - which took the edge off cold charity.

I took refuge first at Aylesford in Kent at the Carmelite monastery, and next at nearby Allington Castle, near Maidstone, a Carmelite stronghold of tertiary nuns. There I rented a cottage in the grounds, and it was there I put into effect the determination I had fixed upon to write a novel about my recent brief but extremely intense word-game experience.

It so happened that in 1954, in the crucial months of my illness, my name was beginning to flourish in the literary world. It was in a way frustrating that I was unable to respond positively to to so many letters from publishers, magazines and universities who were writing to me then for stories, reviews, lectures. One letter was particularly tempting. It came from Alan Maclean, the fiction editor of Macmillan, London, a much larger publisher than any I had so far dealt with. Alan Maclean, who was the best-liked editor in London, asked me to write a novel for his firm; they would commission it (a thing unheard of, for first novels, in those days). Alan had been urged to look for new young talent, and got my address from Tony Strachan, who was then working at Macmillan.

Feeling weak as I did, I replied that I didn't write novels, only stories.

Back came a charming letter. A book of stories would be very

acceptable. Was I interested? I think I said, yes, but I should need time to put a collection together.

After I was settled at Allington I began to think how I could go about writing a novel, and especially the novel about my hallucinations that I had resolved to write. I didn't feel like 'a novelist' and before I could square it with my literary conscience to write a novel, I had to work out a novel-writing process peculiar to myself, and moreover, perform this act within the very novel I proposed to write. I felt, too, that the novel as an art form was essentially a variation of a poem. I was convinced that any good novel, or indeed any composition which called for a constructional sense, was essentially an extension of poetry. It is always comforting to come across a confirmation of one's private feelings in the pronouncements of others who are more qualified to speak. I was particularly delighted when I came across the following piece of dialogue in a book of dialogue-criticism (Invitation to Learning, New York, 1942) mainly by the American scholars and writers, Huntington Cairns, Allen Tate (soon to be one of my closest friends) and Mark van Doren.

The magic piece of dialogue (they are discussing Bunyan's The Pilgrim's Progress) goes thus:

Van Doren: Why should he not say that this is trying to be a poem too? Any book that is trying to be good is trying to be a poem. Tate: It is a poem because it deals with action conveyed through fictions of the imagination. Van Doren: This would satisfy Aristotle's definition of a poem.

All my hallucinatory experiences, looking back on them, seemed to integrate with this idea. I always tell students of my work, and interviewers, that I think of myself as predominantly a poet.

From the aspect of method, I could see that to create a

character who suffered from verbal illusions on the printed page would be clumsy. So I made my main character 'hear' a typewriter with voices composing the novel itself. This novel, The Comforters, was published in February 1957. It was connected with a very curious literary coincidence that in fact turned out well in my favour.

Evelyn Waugh was, in the year 1954-55, someone quite outside of my orbit. But it happened that he, too, had been taking the wrong sort of pills precisely in 1954, and had suffered hallucinations, and had decided to write a novel about the experience. In his case, as most of his friends knew, he really did 'hear' voices. The Ordeal of Gilbert Pinfold was the result, published in the summer of 1957.

He wrote in a letter:

Mr Pinfold's experiences were almost exactly my own. I heard 'voices' such as I describe almost continuously day and night.

My novel was finished late in 1955. But before it was published there was a delay of a year, 1956. In the course of that year the proofs went round among literary people, one of whom was Gabriel Fielding, a very good novelist; his real name was Alan Barnsley, a medical doctor, practising in Maidstone. He knew about my illness but I believe he did not know about Waugh's. He was, however, in touch with Waugh on some business, and in the course of correspondence Alan Barnsley sent Evelyn Waugh the proofs of my first novel.

Waugh replied that 'the mechanics of the hallucinations are well managed. These particularly interested me as I am myself engaged on a similar subject.' To his friend, Ann Fleming, he wrote

I have been sent proofs of a very clever first novel by a lady named Muriel Spark. The theme is a Catholic novelist suffering from hallucinations. It will appear quite soon. I am sure people will think it is by me. Please contradict such assertions.

On publication of my novel Evelyn Waugh was extremely generous, writing a most interesting essay on it in the Spectator.

Recently I asked Evelyn Waugh's eldest son, Auberon (Bron) if he remembers his father's reaction on getting those proofs of The Comforters while in the middle of writing his Pinfold.

[wrote Bron in reply] is him singing the praises of it, and saying how curious it was that you should be writing about the same sort of experience at the same time.

His attack, of course, was brought on by a mixture of chloral and bromide, yours by dexedrine, which should have the opposite effect to chloral and bromide. The sentence which jumps out from Evelyn Waugh's review is surely: 'It so happens that The Comforters came to me just as I had finished a story on a similar theme, and I was struck by how much more ambitious was Miss Spark's essay and how much better she had accomplished it.'

In the middle of 1955, before I had finished my first novel, I moved back to London, fully restored and brimming with plans. By the end of the year I had a book of short stories The Go-Away Bird ready for the publisher, and early in 1956 I started my second novel, Robinson.

The year 1956 was still very difficult financially. The long delay in publishing my first novel was due to Macmillan's getting cold feet about it. That novel was thought to be difficult, especially in those days - for it is true that one forms and 'educates' one's own public. Readers of novels were not yet used to the likes of me, and some will never be. But with Evelyn Waugh's first response and those of others who had seen the proofs, Macmillan took courage.

My digs in London were now 13 Baldwin Crescent, Camberwell, in a less fashionable part than in my old Kensington haunts. I had brought with me from the country a beautiful half-Persian stray cat, Bluebell, about whom I have written in poetry and prose. She was an extraordinary animal; I loved her dearly.

Father O'Malley and his cousin Teresa Walshe had found the place for me. The house was owned by Mrs Lazzari (Tiny), a wonderful Irish widow who had been married to an Italian cellist ('so I understand the Artist'). I stayed with Tiny for years and years. She was then about sixty. Right from the start, Tiny took me under her wing, encouraged me in my literary work, discouraged the hangers-on ('You're a bad picker' was her judgement of my choice of men-friends - how true!), and fed me her well-cooked meals for a very modest fee. Once, when I was depressed, Tiny made me pack my bags and accompany her 'home' to Cork, where we received a royal welcome from her daughter and their family.

Once, in a later and more prosperous year when I found Tiny heaving a scuttleful of coal for her fire from the cellar, and noticed how tired she looked, I said, 'Tiny, let's go to Paris tomorrow.' Tiny put down her coal. 'Okay,' she said. She had never been abroad before. On that occasion, while I was seeing my agent, Tiny wandered off by herself; she came back bringing with her for lunch my friend, Joe McCrindle, owner and editor of Transatlantic Review, who had visited at Baldwin Crescent. 'I bumped into Joe,' Tiny said, airily, as if the rue du Cherche-Midi was somewhere off Oxford Street.

While waiting for my novel to appear, I worked part time at Peter Owen the publisher. I liked the atmosphere a lot. Peter was a young publisher who was interested in books by Cocteau, Hermann Hesse, Cesare Pavese. It was a joy to proof-read the translations of such writers. I was secretary, proof-reader, editor, publicity girl; Mrs Bool was secretary, office manager and filing clerk; and Erna Horne, a rather myopic thick-lensed German refugee, was the book keeper. We were very attached to each other, there in the office at 50 Old Brompton Road, with one light bulb, bare boards on the floor, a long table which was the packing department, and Peter always retreating to his own tiny office to take phone calls from his uncles; one of them worked at Zwemmer the booksellers and gave us intellectual advice, and the other was a psychiatrist.

I worked at Peter Owen's three days a week, and at home wrote stories and my second novel, a kind of adventure story, Robinson.

Title: Stalker Author: John Stalker Date: 1988 Publisher: Harrap B John Stalker [first person narrator] C Sir Barry Shaw (DPP) G Phillip Myers J Sir John Hermon K an RUC Chief Superintendent L RUC Assistant Chief Constable M head of RUC Special Branch O a Belfast MI5 officer U MI5 X unknown
3 The Tape

I began to play the cards I thought would win me the game. On 25 April 1985 I wrote to the Director of Public Prosecutions enclosing copies of my correspondence with the Chief Constable, included in which was my request to be allowed to report directly to the DPP, or at least to have regular right of access to him and to prepare interim reports for him. The following day the DPP, Sir Barry Shaw, spoke to me on the telephone and told me that he had no authority to supervise my investigation until my request was on his desk for him to see. Since it related to the enquiry, that request had to be sent through the office of the Chief Constable, so that constitutionally and legally he was hamstrung by the same procedures that were frustrating me. The Chief Constable controlled completely the flow of paper from me to the Director of Public Prosecutions. Shaw offered some advice: he suggested that I consider myself as 'any person' (that is, not a policeman) in submitting a report to him. It was a novel and interesting idea, and I considered it carefully. What I was being invited to consider was whether I should regard myself, in essence, as a self-appointed private investigator. I would need to presume that my team and I were not police officers or at least not acting as such. I would be engaged in a private investigation.

The idea had some attractions, but I decided against it. It seemed wrong somehow that a policeman brought in to do a job should have to act as an ordinary member of the public in order to complete it. If I was to succeed or fail I wished to do so as the Deputy Chief Constable of Greater Manchester, and not as an inquisitive civilian. I was also worried about our status as a team in using RUC accommodation, offices, telephones and transport. Without them we were even more vulnerable to delays and worse. On 29 April 1985 I again sent a hand-delivered letter to Sir John Hermon. It was short, and expressed my dismay at his decision. I asked him to release me from the requirement to report to him and to allow me to deal directly with the Director of Public Prosecutions, both for consultancy and direction, as was the practice on the mainland, where this would be commonplace during an investigation as serious as this.

There was no immediate reply, but on 9 May Philip Myers telephoned me and asked, on behalf of Sir John Hermon, that I go to Belfast on the 13th for a discussion. I took the usual flight from Manchester Airport and arrived in the morning. The meeting lasted for an hour. Sir John expressed his concern about what he saw as the undesirable involvement of Philip Myers as some sort of self-appointed intermediary. He said that there seemed to be a hidden agenda and he did not like it. I told him that Mr Myers had not in any way compromised me or my enquiry, and I saw his political interest in what was going on as perfectly legitimate. He was, after all, a government adviser. We then discussed the role of the Deputy Chief Constable, Michael McAtamney, in the investigations that took place before I was called in, and the Chief Constable said that had he been in the country at the time, he would have handled things differently from the way his deputy handled them.

I asked Sir John forcefully to reconsider his decision not to allow me to have possession of the Hayshed tape; he said he would think again about it. He was co-operative and apparently understanding of my determination to investigate the matter to the best of my abilities. He said that he was opposed to my report being submitted to anyone other than himself. This would, he believed, be unconstitutional. He asked for my assurances that I would not give any copies to Philip Myers or to the DPP. I said that I could see no harm in giving them copies provided they did not see those copies before he did. With that his mood changed dramatically, and he said that I would be quite wrong, indeed devious, to do so. I said there were a number of unanswered questions that affected him personally, and undoubtedly I would need to see him formally in due course. He asked me for examples, and I gave him one only. I referred to a letter prepared for the DPP by a Chief Superintendent that recommended a charge of murder against a police officer in one of the cases. I had discovered that Sir John Hermon had disagreed with the analysis and findings of his senior officer, and had arbitrarily overruled the recommendation. He had then written his own letter to the Director of Public Prosecutions - an almost unheard-of step - making out a more emotional and political case for not prosecuting. His plea was discarded by the DPP, who went ahead and prosecuted the policeman for murder as originally recommended. I told Sir John that as Chief Constable he had every right to disagree with and to overrule his Chief Superintendent. I did not argue with that. What I found difficult to follow was why he had not forwarded to the DPP an analytical report written by the Chief Superintendent, who is a graduate with a law degree, together with his own dissenting recommendation. I did not mention it to him at that time, but I had also learned that in another case, when the Chief Superintendent recommended no proceedings on a similar murder charge, the Chief Constable had allowed the request to go through without any comment whatsoever from him.

I told Sir John that I was puzzled at what seemed to me to be an unusual, although not improper, intervention by a Chief Constable in a prosecution, and the apparent disposal of a reasoned report recommending that a policeman be charged with murder. I decided to wait until the end of my investigation into all three incidents before I saw his Deputy and Sir John himself. He looked angry and resentful, but said he would be prepared to be interviewed by me, under criminal caution if necessary. He seemed shocked and hurt by our conversation and asked what I intended to do. I told him I was desperately anxious to make progress after what was now a quite unacceptable delay, and I asked for his co-operation. He suggested one more meeting when he had had time to consider his position. I agreed to wait forty-eight hours before I appealed again to MI5 and the Director of Public Prosecutions, but I made it clear that was as long as I wished to delay the decision.

That evening (13 May 1985) Philip Myers phoned me at my home and said he was seeing Sir John Hermon the following day in Belfast. I told Mr Myers I was weary of delays and could not allow matters to drift on any more. I spoke on 14 May to the DPP and told him that my meeting with Sir John had been inconclusive, but that I would be flying to Belfast again the following day.

I saw the Chief Constable again on 15 May in his office and we continued our conversation. He had regained his composure and was his usual powerful, confident self. He commenced briskly and uncompromisingly. He would not release me from my obligation to report directly to him, and he asked if I suspected him of serious offences. I declined to answer in detail, but said that at that moment my evidence against him was of dubious practice and possible unprofessionalism rather than criminal activity. I did not, however, rule out the latter. He then surprised me entirely by saying that he, as Chief Constable, now agreed, without any preconditions whatsoever, to release to me the tape of the activities at the Hayshed, together with all documents and also the authority to ask all the questions I needed of the police officers monitoring the tape. He added that MI5 had the most powerful interest in the tape and that they would need to be assured of the way I handled it. I was beginning to hear the same dizzying arguments I thought were behind me. I told Sir John that MI5 had already given me full authority at the highest legal level to hear the tape. All that now remained to be done was to hand it to me. Sir John then said, 'No tape may exist - you appreciate that, of course.' I said I did not appreciate it, although his Assistant Chief Constable and head of Special Branch had already hinted at it. Sir John suggested I speak to MI5 officers, but he refused to elaborate further. I was equally determined to pin the Chief Constable down to his apparently unequivocal promise to me of a few minutes earlier. I wanted that tape. I said I could not tolerate any further delays, and I would not leave his headquarters without some firm date for my access to the tape and the policemen who had heard it. Sir John paused, looked at me hard and then, without speaking, made a telephone call. About fifteen minutes later a man joined us, whose name I know, but who was introduced to me simply as a member of MI5 based in Belfast. Sir John's mood had changed again, and I was brusquely asked by him to leave his office, which I reluctantly did. I cooled my temper by walking around the grounds. About fifteen minutes later I resumed my conversation with the two of them, and the MI5 officer told me that the way was now open for me to make progress. He would speak, he said, to his senior directors in London and I could look forward to complete co-operation subject to 'unspecified' safeguards.

Before I left I asked Sir John for his decision on my request to see the informant. He angrily refused, and would not discuss the matter further. I said that I had to accept his see the informant's policeman handler. He was non-committal. I told the Chief Constable and the MI5 officer that my patience was exhausted. The following day Sir John Hermon telephoned me to tell me that the way was now clear for me to deal directly with MI5 to obtain the information I was seeking about the tape. I realized then that the labyrinthine processes through which I had been groping had brought me back to exactly where I had been five months earlier in January 1985. It was obvious to me that much midnight oil had been burned.

The Belfast MI5 officer told me that the Chief Constable had suggested that MI5's role be to act as 'honest brokers' between the RUC and myself. He wished them to examine, and no doubt assess, the contents of the tape before it was passed to me. I told the MI5 officer I would not accept this. I was the investigator, and I would decide on the value of the evidence. I could not agree to judgments being made other than by the Director of Public Prosecutions, who was expecting me to obtain all the evidence I could to help him in that task. I said that, despite all the promises, it seemed that I would have to begin again with the Chief Constable. Within the hour Sir John Hermon telephoned me and said that he wished me to have access to all the information, and he had merely asked MI5 to look at it first to see whether they had any objections to any specific part of it being given to me. He was not keeping anything back, he said. If I were denied access to evidence, then that would be because MI5 thought it 'desirable' not he. I contained my rising temper and told him that MI5 had agreed to my having the tape without any argument and without conditions. He was, in my view, clouding the issue. I insisted that he speak to MI5 again and give me, by the following week, a firm answer and details of where and when I could take possession of the tape. I asked him to deal with the matter personally, and told him that if there were any further obstructions I would seriously consider whether I could continue to undertake the investigation on his behalf.

Title: THE DOWNING STREET YEARS Author: Margaret Thatcher Date: 1993 Publisher: Harper Collins A John MacGregor B Margaret Thatcher (first person narrator) C Winston Churchill D Cecil Parkinson E Nick Ridley F Ken Baker G Francis Maude H Ken Clarke I Tony Newton J Peter Lilley K Malcolm Rifkind L Peter Brooke M Michael Howard N David Waddington O William Waldegrave P John Wakeham Q John Gummer R Chris Patten S Alan Clark T Tristan Garel-Jones U Richard Ryder V Tom King W Norman Lamont X unknown Y Cabinet ministers Z "most of the cabinet" A1 Michael Portillo A2 George Gardiner, John Townend, Edward Leigh, Chris Chope "and a number of others" A3 the Parliamentary Party [in Churchill's time]
THE VIEWS OF THE CABINET

I could, of course, have concentrated my efforts for the second ballot on winning over the back-benchers directly. Perhaps I should have done. But the earlier meetings had persuaded me that it was essential to mobilise Cabinet ministers not just to give formal support, but also to go out and persuade junior ministers and back-benchers to back me. In asking for their support, however, I was also putting myself at their mercy. If a substantial number of Cabinet colleagues refused their backing, there could be no disguising the fact afterwards. I recalled a complaint from Churchill, then Prime Minister, to his Chief Whip that talk of his resignation in the Parliamentary Party - he would shortly be succeeded by Anthony Eden - was undermining his authority. Without that authority, he could not be an effective prime minister. Similarly, a prime minister who knows that his or her Cabinet has withheld its support is fatally weakened. I knew - and I am sure they knew- that I would not willingly remain an hour in 10 Downing Street without real authority to govern.

As I have said, I had spoken to Douglas Hurd and John Major already, though I had not directly sought their views about what I should do. I had already seen Cecil Parkinson after returning from the tea-room. He told me that I should remain in the race, that I could count on his unequivocal support and that it would be a hard struggle but that I could win. Nick Ridley, no longer in the Cabinet but a figure of more than equivalent weight, also assured me of his complete support. Ken Baker had made clear his total commitment to me. The Lord Chancellor and Lord Belstead, Leader of the Lords, were not really significant players in the game. And John Wakeham was my campaign manager. But all the others I would see in my room in the House of Commons.

Over the next two hours or so, each Cabinet minister came in, sat down on the sofa in front of me and gave me his views. Almost to a man they used the same formula. This was that they themselves would back me, of course, but that regretfully they did not believe I could win.

In fact, as I well realised, they had been feverishly discussing what they should say in the rooms off the Commons Cabinet corridor above my room. Like all politicians in a quandary, they had sorted out their 'line to take' and they would cling to it through thick and thin. After three or four interviews, I felt I could almost join in the chorus. Whatever the monotony of the song, however, the tone and human reactions of those who came into my room that evening offered dramatic contrasts.

My first ministerial visitor was not a member of the Cabinet at all. Francis Maude, Angus's son and Minister of State at the Foreign Office, whom I regarded as a reliable ally, told me that he passionately supported the things I believed in, that he would back me as long as I went on, but that he did not believe I could win. He left in a state of some distress; nor had he cheered me up noticeably.

Ken Clarke now entered. His manner was robust in the brutalist style he has cultivated: the candid friend. He said that this method of changing prime ministers was farcical, and that he personally would be happy to support me for another five or ten years. Most of the Cabinet, however, thought that I should stand down. Otherwise, not only would I lose; I would 'lose big'. If that were to happen, the Party would go to Michael Heseltine and end up split. So Douglas and John should be released from their obligation to me and allowed to stand, since either had a better chance than I did. Then the solid part of the Party could get back together. Contrary to persistent rumours, Ken Clarke at no point threatened to resign.

Peter Lilley, obviously ill at ease, came in next. From the message I had received in Paris, I knew roughly what to expect from him. He duly announced that he would support me if I stood but that it was inconceivable that I would win. Michael Heseltine must not be allowed to get the leadership or all my achievements would be threatened. The only way to prevent this was to make way for John Major.

Of course, I had not been optimistic about Ken Clarke and Peter Lilley for quite different reasons. But I had written off my next visitor, Malcolm Rifkind, in advance. After Geoffrey's departure, Malcolm was probably my sharpest personal critic in the Cabinet and he did not soften his criticism on this occasion. He said bluntly that I could not win, and that either John or Douglas would do better. Still, even Malcolm did not declare against me. When I asked him whether I would have his support if I did stand, he said that he would have to think about it. Indeed, he gave the assurance that he would never campaign against me. Silently, I thanked God for small mercies.

After so much commiseration, it was a relief to talk to Peter Brooke. He was, as always, charming, thoughtful and loyal. He said he would fully support me whatever I chose to do. Being in Northern Ireland, he was not closely in touch with parliamentary opinion and could not himself offer an authoritative view of my prospects. But he believed I could win if I went ahead with all guns blazing. Could I win if all guns did not blaze? That was something I was myself beginning to doubt.

My next visitor was Michael Howard, another rising star who shared my convictions. Michael's version of the Cabinet theme was altogether stronger and more encouraging. Although he doubted my prospects, he himself would not only support me but would campaign vigorously for me. William Waldegrave, my most recent Cabinet appointment, arrived next. William was very formal. I could hardly expect more from someone who did not share my political views. But he declared very straightforwardly that it would be dishonourable for someone to accept a place in my Cabinet one week and not support me three weeks later. He would vote for me as long as I was a candidate. But he had a sense of foreboding about the result. It would be a catastrophe if corporatist policies took over, which, of course, was another way of saying that Michael Heseltine should be held at bay.

At this point I received a note from John Wakeham who wanted an urgent word with me. Apparently, the position was much worse than he had thought. I was not surprised. It was hardly any better from where I was sitting.

John Gummer bounced in next. His position was, on the face of it, not easy to predict. He was a passionate European, but he apparently shared the same general philosophy of government as I did. In fact I was mildly curious as to how he would resolve this tension. But he reeled off the standard formula that he would support me if I decided to stand, but as a friend he should warn me that I could not win, and so I should move aside and let John and Douglas stand.

John Gummer was followed by Chris Patten. Chris and I had worked together for many years from the time when he was Director of the Conservative Research Department until I brought him into the Cabinet in 1989. He had a way with words, and perhaps this had too easily convinced me that he and I always put the same construction upon them. But he was a man of the Left. So I could hardly complain when he told me that he would support me but that I could not win, and so on.

Even melodramas have intervals, even Macbeth has the porter's scene. I now had a short talk with Alan Clark, Minister of State at the Ministry of Defence, and a gallant friend, who came round to lift my spirits with the encouraging advice that I should fight on at all costs. Unfortunately, he went on to argue that I should fight on even though I was bound to lose because it was better to go out in a blaze of glorious defeat than to go gentle into that good night. Since I had no particular fondness for Wagnerian endings, this lifted my spirits only briefly. But I was glad to have someone unambiguously on my side even in defeat.

By now John Wakeham and Ken Baker had turned up to speak to me, and their news was not good. John said that he now doubted whether I could get the support of the Cabinet. What I had been hearing did not suggest that he was wrong. He added that he had tried to put together a campaign team but was not succeeding even at that. I had realised by now that I was not dealing with Polish cavalrymen; but I was surprised that neither Tristan Garel-Jones nor Richard Ryder were prepared to serve as John's lieutenants because they believed I could not win.

Tristan Garel-Jones had, of course, served on my campaign team the previous year when my position was not seriously under threat. Nonetheless, I could not find it in my heart to be really disappointed in him now. His view of Conservative politics had always been that the line of least resistance is the best course, and I suppose he was only being consistent. But it was a personal as well as a political blow to learn that Richard, who had come with me to No. 10 all those years ago as my political secretary and whom I had moved up the ladder as quickly as I decently could, was deserting at the first whiff of grapeshot.

Ken Baker went on to report that the position had deteriorated since we had spoken that morning. He had found between ten and twelve members of the Cabinet who did not think I could win. And if they thought that, there would not be enough enthusiasm to carry the day. Even so he believed that I should carry on. But he floated Tom King's suggestion - which I was myself to hear from Tom a little later - that I should promise to stand down after Christmas if I won. The idea was that this would allow me to see through the Gulf War. I could not accept this: I would have no authority in the meantime and I would need all I could muster for the forthcoming battles in the European Community.

After John and Ken had left, Norman Lamont came in and repeated the formula. The position, he said, was beyond repair. Everything we had achieved on industry and Europe would be jeopardised by victory for Michael Heseltine. Everything but Robertson Hare's 'Oh Calamity.'

John MacGregor now appeared and somewhat belatedly gave me the news that I lacked support in the Cabinet which he had felt unable to convey to me earlier in the day. He too eschewed any originality and stuck by the formula. Tom King said the usual things, though more warmly than most. He added the suggestion trailed by Ken Baker that I should offer to stand down at a specific date in the future. I rejected this suggestion, but I was grateful for the diversion.

In all the circumtances, it was a relief to see David Waddington enter and sit down on the sofa. Here was a steadfast friend but, as I quickly saw, one in the deepest distress. All David's instincts were to fight on. For him the argument that battle should not be joined because defeat was likely had none of the attraction that it did for some of his colleagues. It was not an evasion, nor a disguised threat, nor a way of abandoning my cause without admitting the fact. It was a reluctant recognition of reality. But as a former Chief Whip - and how often in recent days had I wished that he still held that office - he knew that support for me in the Cabinet had collapsed. David said that he wanted me to win and would support me but could not guarantee a victory. He left my room with tears in his eyes.

The last meeting was with Tony Newton who, though clearly nervous, just about managed to get out the agreed line. He did not think I could win, etc., etc. Nor, by now, did I. John Wakeham came in again and elaborated further on what he had earlier told me. I had lost the Cabinet's support. I could not even muster a credible campaign team. It was the end.

I was sick at heart. I could have resisted the opposition of opponents and potential rivals and even respected them for it; but what grieved me was the desertion of those I had always considered friends and allies and the weasel words whereby they had transmuted their betrayal into frank advice and concern for my fate. I dictated a brief statement of my resignation to be read out at Cabinet the following morning. But I said that I would return to No. 10 to talk to Denis before finally taking my decision.

I was preparing to return when Norman Tebbit arrived with Michael Portillo. Michael was Minister of State at the DoE with responsibility for local government and the community charge. He was beyond any questioning a passionate supporter of everything we stood for. He tried to convince me that the Cabinet were misreading the situation, that I was being misled and that with a vigorous campaign it would still be possible to turn things round. With even a drop of this spirit in higher places, it might indeed have been possible. But that was just not there. Then another group of loyalists from the 92 Group of MPs arrived in my room - George Gardiner, John Townend, Edward Leigh, Chris Chope and a number of others. They had a similar message to Michael. I was immensely grateful for their support and warmth, and said that I would think about what to do. Then at last I returned to No. 10.

Title: W. H. Auden Author: Humphrey Carpenter Date: 1983 Publisher: Unwin B W H Auden C Perkins G Norman Wright J Margaret Gardiner K Day-Lewis L John Layard M T S Eliot O the boys at Larchfield U Sheila Hodges V Vivien X unknown
6 Schoolmaster

Larchfield Academy was a small private school for boys which had seen better days. Its old pupils included John Logie Baird, the inventor of television, and Sir James Frazer, author of The Golden Bough. But by 1930 the school was not prospering. Until recently it had taken boys up to the age of eighteen, but it could no longer compete with larger and more celebrated public schools, and now it did not attempt to be more than a preparatory establishment catering for boys between six and thirteen, with just a few older pupils. The forty or so boys were taught in bleak, old-fashioned buildings lit by gas jets, and the headmaster, an elderly dispirited man named Perkins, with a drooping moustache, had largely given up the struggle.

Besides the headmaster himself, who taught classics, there were four members of the staff: Mr Sinkinson, the mathematics master, Miss Ensor, Miss Greenhalge, and Auden himself, whose task was to teach English and French. He also had to take turns of duty supervising the dozen or so boys who were boarders, the rest being day pupils who lived at home, and refereeing games.

He soon settled in. 'Schoolmastering suits me; I thoroughly enjoy it,' he wrote to his brother John, who was working as a geologist in India. 'If you get bored with India, why not try it. I find myself quite enjoying cricket. Perhaps I shall find Rugger the same but I wish I knew the rules.' And in a birthday verse-letter to Gabriel Carritt he wrote: 'Now I'm up here . . . / Paid to teach English to the sons of Scotsmen - / Poor little buggers.'

His predecessor in the job, Day-Lewis, had found his pupils' Glaswegian accents difficult to get used to, and presumably Auden experienced the same problem. But he discovered he had a real liking for the business of teaching. He enjoyed the boys' company ('Twelve year old boys are the best people to talk to,' he remarked to a friend) and he was sympathetic to the rebels in the school, having been rebellious in his own schooldays. Above all he liked influencing his pupils and telling them what they should do with their lives. The job of teacher, in fact, gave a proper outlet to two dominant aspects of his personality: the dogmatic schoolmaster and the would-be healer.

The boys, on the other hand, did not find him the ideal teacher. 'We were rather over-awed by W. H. A. and could not quite get the measure of him,' recalled one of them, Norman Wright. 'Born in Helensburgh of two Scottish parents, this was my first encounter with an "Englishman", and I was not greatly impressed. I could follow only with some difficulty his pronunciation, and, frankly, his reasoning was beyond me. I believe he was the first adult I had met who bit his nails and smoked heavily. I did not admire the habits. He seemed rather aloof and not very companionable. Not a person in whom we would confide. He did accompany us to games but his appearance on the rugby pitch was a bit of a giggle. He wasn't endowed for such sport.'

It was perhaps because he lacked a real rapport with the boys that Auden kept order in class partly by means of clowning. Margaret Gardiner, who visited him at Larchfield, noted this: 'He told me that he believed teachers ought to be clowns; if you stood on your head or played the piano with your feet, the boys would immediately attend, there'd be no difficulty about discipline. You should continuously startle them into interest, he said, keep them alert by letting them catch you out, trip you up.' One of his tricks was teaching the boys to stick stamps on the ceiling by flicking them up on pennies. On another occasion when he had trouble with discipline he told Gabriel Carritt he had threatened 'to cut my prick off' if the boys continued to fool about. He bought a suitable piece of meat from the butcher, and, next time a hullabaloo broke out in class, opened his fly, brought out this meat, and appeared to be actually carrying out the threat with a sharp knife - to horrified cries of 'No, sir! Don't do it!'

The school was situated in the middle of Helensburgh, a modest-sized market town that served largely as a dormitory for Glasgow businessmen, who could be seen every morning hurrying to catch their train. The town itself was rather smugly middle-class - Day-Lewis called it 'this Wimbledon of the North' - but it was surrounded by fine scenery. Loch Lomond and Glen Fruin lay only a few miles away, while across the Clyde the lights of Greenock glimmered alluringly at night (Auden dubbed it 'the wicked city'). Glimpses of these scenes began to appear in Auden's poetry, but he took no particular interest in the area, nor in Scotland on a wider scale. 'I don't think any of the Scottish nationalists are any use,' he wrote to Naomi Mitchison, adding that he thought the Scottish poet Hugh MacDiarmid 'such a fearful intellectual snob and prig', and suggesting that nationalism merely amounted to saying that 'Compton Mackenzie will be king one day'. His attention was caught more by the visible signs of the economic depression from which the whole of Britain was now suffering; for on a train journey into Glasgow he could see the Clydebank shipyards lying idle and silent, as well as the poverty-ridden slums of Glasgow itself. Much the same thing was to be seen in Birmingham, his home town; and on Easter Day 1930, just before travelling to Helensburgh to begin his teaching job, he wrote a poem which must have grown partly out of what he had observed there: Get there if you can and see the land you once were proud to own Though the roads have almost vanished and the expresses never run: Smokeless chimneys, damaged bridges, rotting wharves and choked canals, Tramlines buckled, smashed trucks lying on their side across the rails; Power-stations locked, deserted, since they drew the boiler fires Pylons falling or subsiding, trailing dead high-tension wires; Head-gears gaunt on grass-grown pit-banks, seams abandoned years ago; Drop a stone and listen for its splash In flooded dark below. . . There is, of course, a lot of exaggeration in this - or at least there would be if it were meant to be a picture of Britain in the grip of the Depression. In fact the poem owes a lot to Auden's private landscape of abandoned lead mines, and soon reveals itself as not really concerned with the present state of the country but with the defective emotional condition of the middle-class intellectual, for which the ruined industrial landscape is a symbol. It is yet another reworking of what Auden had learnt from John Layard. But the fact that the psychological theme is now presented in terms of the plight of a nation suggests that Auden was becoming aware, for the first time, of the value of politics for his poetry. It was (he said himself) during this year, 1930, that he began to read newspapers.

At about the time he began teaching at Larchfield, Faber & Faber accepted a volume of his poetry for publication. Auden may have submitted a book of his poetry to another London publisher, Victor Gollancz, some time around 1929; this may have been the same collection of poems that was accepted by Faber the next year. Sheila Hodges, in Gollancz: The Story of a Publishing House (1978), writes: 'Jon Evans [full-time reader with the firm] tried very hard to persuade Victor to take on Auden, but without success' (p. 73). The book was to include several of the poems that Stephen Spender had printed in 1928, as well as others that Auden had written since then; nothing remained of the selection that Faber's had turned down in 1927. A large number of the poems in the book, perhaps the majority, dealt, under a layer of symbolism, with the emotional plight of the individual, expressed largely according to Layard's ideas; but this would scarcely have been apparent to someone who did not know Auden's private interests. The really striking thing about the book was the range of images and styles - poems in the manner of schoolboy rhymes and cabaret songs were set next to pieces imitating Laura Riding or Anglo-Saxon verse - and the almost clinical, Hardy-like detachment with which Auden looked at his subject-matter as if from a great height: 'Consider this and in our time / As the hawk sees it or the helmeted airman. . .'

Auden's book, which was to be called simply Poems, was accepted on behalf of Faber's by T. S. Eliot. When Auden was in London he met Eliot, and was as impressed by him as a man as he had been by his poetry. 'So long as one was in Eliot's presence,' he said after Eliot's death in 1965, 'one felt it was impossible to say or do anything base. Auden had the experience, some time in the early 1930s, of being invited to dinner by Eliot and his first wife Vivien, of whose strangeness he was made aware on arrival: 'I told Mrs T. S. E. that I was glad to be there and she said: "Well, Tom's not glad"' (Tribute, p. 155). Rather late in the day, when Auden's Poems were already in proof, Eliot agreed to add 'Paid on Both Sides' to the book - it had already been printed by him in the Criterion. He also commissioned Auden to write, for the Criterion, his first published book review.

The review was of Instinct and Intuition: A Study in Mental Duality by G. H. Dibblee, and it shows that Auden was now tentatively beginning to move away from John Layard's view of personality as a set of unconscious instinctive desires controlled and inhibited by the conscious reasoning mind. Auden, reviewing Dibblee's book, now wrote: 'The reason is an instrument, and cannot of itself control or inhibit anything; what it can do is to cause one desire to modify another.'

Auden began to undertake more book reviews for the Criterion, and for other journals, such as F. R. Leavis's Scrutiny (Leavis had not yet turned against Auden), The Listener, the New Statesman, and Geoffrey Grigson's New Verse. His aims as a critic were ostensibly simple: to praise the praiseworthy and to give examples from the book under review in the form of quotations as lengthy as the space would permit. He said of this that to arouse interest the critic 'must quote with as little comment as possible'. He implied that he had learnt this from Eliot, whose critical writing did not in itself especially influence him ('I have never understood exactly what the objective correlative is,' he admitted) but whose gift for illustrating his essays with surprising quotations he found instructive.

Auden did not usually write reviews of books he thought were poor. He said that a critic should 'keep silent about works which he believes to be bad, while at the same time vigorously campaigning for those which he believes to be good'. On another occasion he wrote: 'Make it a rule not to review any book which, whatever its faults, you don't basically like.' (He did, however, late in his life, once dismiss a book which he was reviewing as 'an unbook, written, it would seem, by an anal madman'.) He also declared that critics should not tell readers what to think about particular books: 'The one thing I most emphatically do not ask of a critic is that he tells me what I ought to approve of or condemn.' Yet he often violated this rule, demanding (for example) that parents should make their children read Grimm's fairly tales, and - in the mid 1950s - declaring that how a reader reacted to Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings, which he himself greatly admired, was a test of literary taste. He also often used his reviews as testing-grounds for his own changing opinions, and as a chance to conduct a debate with himself; for example, his 1930 piece about Dibblee's book becomes an argument about D. H. Lawrence. This gave his reviews an intensity and excitement, but it could be disconcerting to the reader, especially as during the 1930s Auden had not found a satisfactory prose style, and was sometimes very obtuse in his way of expressing things.

Author: Jad Adams Title: Tony Benn Publisher: MacMillan Date: 1992 B Tony Benn C Chesterfield people D John Burrows F hard-line monetarist Tories G National Coal Board J National Union of Mineworkers K Nottinghamshire miners L a phalanx of Labour MPs M the British Embassy in Oslo N TUC and Labour Party members O right-wing figures P the right R the government S the miners T civil servants U Arthur Scargill V the left W Ken Coates X unknown Y officials at the Department of Energy Z "officials, Secretary of State, Minister of Technology"

A week after the election Tony Benn had his opportunity to prove his worth to his new constituency. Chesterfield people who had any doubts that Benn was anything more than a 'media politician' learned differently in the following year of crippling hardship for the miners, during which Benn, as NUM official John Burrows said, 'was always there at your shoulder when you needed him, geeing the lads up. He was our closest ally on the picket line. I couldn't speak too highly of him.' IV John Burrows 18 March 1991

The strike was sparked by the convergence of a number of issues, not least the need for Margaret Thatcher to prove she could succeed where Heath had failed. This personal consideration only gave the issue more spice, however, for the deep and underlying reason was a genuine conviction among hard-line monetarist Tories that Britain's fortunes could not be reversed until the government had 'dealt with' the unions. It would be called class war by the left and sound management by the right but the effect was the same.

Beating the rest of the unions, but leaving the miners intact, would be cowardly and ineffective. The miners were the backbone of the trade union movement: if they could be brought down, the battle was won. The conflict was not entered into without thought and careful planning. In February 1981 extra state money was quickly found to avert a miners' strike over pit closures, the very issue over which the 1984-5 strike was fought. The time was not right. At this stage only James Prior's 1980 Trade Union Act was in place. This contributed to union democracy by permitting public money to be used for strike and leadership ballots, made closed shop agreements far more difficult and outlawed secondary picketing. That was not enough to beat the miners. Norman Tebbit's 1982 Act was the key: this took away the immunity of trade unions for financial loss caused by a strike. Now unions could be fined heavily for conducting 'unlawful' strikes.

While both sides expected a battle over closures, the strike actually came about through a foolish National Coal Board decision, taken at local level, to close Cortonwood pit in South Yorkshire. This led the National Union of Mineworkers to put into action a contingency plan which had previously been agreed at their conference, that a national strike should be called to prevent a pit-closure scheme. The failure to call a national strike ballot lost the miners' leadership a great deal of support, including that of Neil Kinnock and others in the Labour leadership, and gave a justification for those miners, particularly in Nottinghamshire, who did not wish to strike. It could be argued that the Labour leadership would have given scant support whatever the circumstances, and that Nottinghamshire would have disobeyed even an instruction based on a national strike ballot, but the task of undermining the strike need not have been made so easy.

As far as Tony Benn was concerned these were his people and he had to fight for them, regardless of the national issues. He would be up at 4.00 a.m. to do the round of the picket lines, taking soup and good cheer to the men at nearby collieries. He was particularly welcome at times of high tension, because police behaviour was more restrained when a senior politician was observing. He toured the country speaking for the miners, addressing 211 meetings in their support in the year of the strike. He visited the USA, Canada and Italy encouraging international support and collecting donations.

In Parliament he was one of a phalanx of Labour MPs arguing that the government had engineered the dispute to assault the unions; criticising police conduct; attacking the penal bail conditions imposed by magistrates' courts on arrested pickets; pointing out the involvement of the armed forces in supplying facilities used in the policing of mining communities; accusing the government of telephone tapping; and of slowing down the processing of applications for welfare benefits for miners' families to put pressure on them to return to work. He raised the question of the British Embassy in Oslo demanding information from a Norwegian trade union about the extent of its support for the NUM and later called for an amnesty for miners who had been imprisoned during the strike.

The strike transformed British politics. Miners' support groups around the country, particularly in the relatively prosperous south, 'adopted' a mining community and collected money and supplies for them. Cultural stereotypes were challenged as north and south met. Most significantly, the role of women in traditional industrial communities was changed beyond recognition as the women's support groups took command of the home front and became involved in politics, often for the first time. Chesterfield Women's Action Group ran the main distribution network, distributing food parcels to thirty-four other centres in North Derbyshire.

On the middle ground stood the TUC and the Labour Party, whose members often showed individual sympathy to the miners' cause but were not prepared to countenance any industrial action in their support. Collieries in Nottinghamshire, Warwickshire and Leicestershire continued to produce coal. Coal was still being shipped in from abroad. There were no power cuts.

The government too had those who wished to make a display of solidarity, and right-wing figures funded legal actions by working miners against the NUM. The union was subject to other actions under trade union legislation, the net result of which was the sequestration of its assets. This led to a financial paralysis, eased only by some exceptionally creative accounting. Nor was the government prepared to be caught out by flying pickets or mass picketing. The new trade union laws were augmented by new national co-ordinating powers for the police. Cars of pickets would be stopped hundreds of miles from their destination and turned back; on the picket lines police fought miners with a ferocity unparalleled in the recent past.

The enduring image of the miners' strike was of mounted police charging relentlessly into miners at the Orgreave coking depot at Rotherham on 18 June 1984. Police in full riot gear crashed through the crowds of miners, lashing out with truncheons in a spectacle which was criticised as 'suspending the rule of law to maintain public order'. Prosecution cases against each of the ninety-five people charged with offences that day collapsed and South Yorkshire police paid half a million pounds in damages and costs to thirty-nine miners who were injured. IV Tony Benn 12 June 1991

The heroic nature of the struggle seemed to have overturned Benn's political judgement. He had always tended to romanticise the working class. Now his own constituency was part of the very aristocracy of labour. He represented miners who were fighting for the survival of their communities and suffering greater hardships than the country had seen since the war. Once he arrived late at a meeting of left-wingers in the House of Commons and said, 'I've just been with the miners - they are like Greek gods.' Ken Coates agreed they were nice young lads and had had more sunshine than they were used to. Ibid Benn's failure to support this initiative at the NEC caused the cooling of one of the most valuable, and stabilising, political friendships of his life. Coates's scheme may have seemed idealistic but it was a model of realism compared to Tony Benn's proposal for a general strike 'to protect free trade unionism'. BD 5 March 1985

One of Benn's greatest leadership qualities was his strength in defeat. In the difficult days after the strike, he told them all was not lost. 'We can look back with pride at what has been done,' he said to the Durham Miners' Gala, 'confident that future generations will commemorate the heroes of Saltley and Orgreave just as now we celebrate the Tolpuddle Martyrs and the Chartists.' Nor could it be claimed that the cause for which the strike took place, the prevention of pit closures, was ill judged. Between the end of the strike and 1991 the Coal Board closed 105 pits and made 134,400 men redundant. No protection was given by the government to the miners who had worked through the strike, or to the breakaway union which was formed during it.

The underlying reason for the success of the Thatcher government in the strike was that the nation was no longer reliant on British-mined coal for fuelling power stations. One of the reasons for the push toward nuclear power was to reduce national reliance on the truculent and well organised mine workers.

As someone who had been responsible for energy longer than any other minister - taking some responsibility for it in all three of his cabinet posts - Benn contributed weightily to the debate over nuclear power and, in particular, the inquiries over which system to use for the new series of reactors. Officials at the Department of Energy still wanted to commission Pressurised Water Reactors which were an American development, pointing to the success of the French nuclear industry which had pushed ahead with PWRs and had nearly 70 per cent of its electricity produced by nuclear power as against less than 20 per cent in the UK.

Benn argued that the true cost of nuclear power had never been made explicit because so many of the costs were carried in the defence budget, which resulted from the tie up between the civil and military uses of nuclear power. The government was eventually obliged to hold an inquiry into the commissioning of a Pressurised Water Reactor at Sizewell in Suffolk. Benn worked closely with the National Union of Mineworkers in 1983 in preparing evidence for the inquiry, an activity which, incidentally, stood him in good stead with leading figures in the NUM when he needed them when he was fighting to be selected at Chesterfield.

At the Sizewell inquiry Benn argued that the building of a coal-fired power station was cheaper and with lower construction costs and less environmental damage, especially when decommissioning occurs, than a nuclear station.

The station did go ahead, and six years later he gave evidence at a similar inquiry into the siting of another PWR at Hinkley Point in Somerset.

He was not restrained in his verbal evidence to the Hinkley Point inquiry, saying that for eight years in the various departments he headed, 'I was told time and time again by my officials, Secretary of State, Minister of Technology, "We understand your feelings but, of course, you have got to face the harsh reality that nuclear power is cheaper." It was a lie. I hate to use plain language in this way. I was lied to time and again because the true economics of this was known from the beginning. I ask myself, "Why did they lie to the Minister?" They lied to the Minister because they wanted the Minister to go on saying this was an atoms for peace programme when actually it was an atoms for war programme. The whole basis of this has been nuclear weapons from the beginning. I blame myself very seriously for being so trusting, but I did not appreciate the full implications at the time.' TB evidence to Hinkley Point C Inquiry 7 April 1989

While the behaviour of some civil servants may have been Machiavellian in concealing the truth in order to enlist the idealistic young Tony Benn in the pro-nuclear cause, the fact was that he needed little encouragement to promote nuclear power and neither did the civil servants. The civil servants also were seized with enthusiasm a for a bright, cheap, clean future for civil nuclear power and in their enthusiasm they submerged the realities in their own minds and their own reports. They too were victims of hope.

Title: Rich — The life of Richard Burton Author: Melvyn Bragg B Richard Burton C Meredith Jones G Philip Burton [a teacher of Richard's, whose surname he adopted as a stage-name] J Sally [Richard's widow] K Richard Jenkins [Richard's father] L Alec Guinness M Emlyn Williams O Sarah Grace Cooke R Stanley Baker S Gladys Henson T the New Statesman U everybody in Taibach W Dylan Thomas X unknown Y every single person who met him Z an advertisement in Cardiff's Western Mail
SETTLING FOR ACTING

If Richard Burton was lucky in his background it was because he made his luck. Hundreds of thousands the industrialised world over barely rose above the daily survival — hard enough in many cases. To get out was a considerable achievement: to go on to etch his own personality on the world was so rare as to be wonderful: but to do it on his own terms, in his own way and to do exactly as he wanted was astounding. No surprise that every single person who met him wanted to turn that meeting into an incident, an anecdote, an event. His genius was above all in what he was. Burton soared: he made it look effortless, and he put no one down in the process. And few cared to try to put him down.

Out of his family's travails he helped to make a fastness of domestic security — Cis, Ifor and the barricades of brothers, sisters, cousins, aunts, ever-open houses … out of the outwardly unpromising landscape of a war-battered, low-waged steel, coal and chapel culture he took a fine voice, musical knowledge, a skill in many sports, a love for learning: and he never forgot that a few shillings would and did make the difference between dignity and pity, poverty and decent comfort. He impressed Meredith Jones as he impressed Philip Burton — both to an extent that they had never been impressed before, driving them to help him help himself. He was a memorable mixture of inner repose and outer restlessness, of calculation, even shrewdness, and a princely carelessness, of something certain, never to be shaken, only perhaps tested and eroded as the years went by, and something uncertain, game for everything and willing to push himself to the point of self-destruction. Life was for the living and Rich seized it.

If we live out much of our developing years in imitation — especially of those most close to us — then Burton very soon outstripped guiding example. The tenacity of his loyalty brought him back again and again to the perfect womanliness of Cis and the unmatchable maleness of Ifor, but in his wider field of operation they were no more than a couple of reference points: the rest of the map had to be filled in — by Philip, by Meredith, by rugby heroes, by the poets, but most of all, and as he went along, by himself.

One thing is clear. He went at it very hard: punishingly, perhaps even at that stage, dangerously hard. Though physically a lightly built rugby player, he never hesitated to go for the top league and would be bounced and shaken regularly. He drank when young and while still young drank a lot, challenging himself to knock off all comers, but most of all to align himself with the legendary drinking miners who could and did sweat it off down the pit while Richard had to force it off in games. And perhaps through the drinking he sought to meet his father of whom he spoke so little and to whom it seemed, the older he grew, he meant so little. He smoked a lot which hit the hard-worked lungs while the boils surged up out of a weakness in nutrition which, together with the ill-starred Jenkins bones, augured ill for long life and clean living. Neither seemed to interest him much.

That outer evidence of strain and clash was balanced by the hugely admired stillness, the self-possession. That came most from his wide-apart blue-green eyes, the sculptured bones covered with wasted skin, the rare smile. The finest expression of himself lay in his love for language.

In one respect, it was a particular and technical interest. He was a crossword fiend, an acrostic fanatic, an inveterate amateur etymologist and a Berlitz blitzer on new tongues. The constant book-bag was a working kit. Even for a short weekend trip, Sally, his widow, wrote there would be &bquo;a dictionary, the complete works of Shakespeare, the Oxford Book of English Verse, the Koran, a Larousse, an atlas, together with paperback copies of the Oxford Book of Quotations, a reader's encyclopaedia …&equo; and then there were the new novels and biographies and history bought in paperback raids.

In his heyday he had a memory like a clamp. Put to it, he could recite some of Shakespeare's sonnets backwards: that was one of his party tricks. Tumultuous chunks of the Bible in English and then in Welsh, the great monologues of Shakespeare, Manley Hopkins, Baudelaire, Rimbaud, Donne, Dylan Thomas — those could all be turned to account and were. But the passion was no party show. If he had one talent above all — Alec Guinness has singled it out as his greatest gift — it was for reading verse with intelligence and passion. He did it because he was intoxicated by it: and he had found it for himself. It was the force that through the green fuse … drove him. &bquo;The only thing in life is language,&equo; he said — with Elizabeth Taylor in tears beside him. &bquo;Not love. Not anything else.&equo;

The acting was almost a by-product of that and had it not been for a fortuitous advertisement in Cardiff's Western Mail, it might have remained just that. Oxford, the scholarship, would then have been the defining influence, become the place in which he could have planted his flag and redrawn himself. As it was, another Welsh wizard was to pipe him away. The announcement proclaimed that Welsh actors and actresses were needed by the eminent playwright, director and actor Emlyn Williams, to fill &bquo;small parts in his new play which will open in London in the autumn&equo;. In particular, he wanted a &bquo;Welsh boy actor&equo;.

Philip Burton sent off Richard's name immediately.

His boy was in good shape. Anxious — waiting for the results of his examination — with varied experience in school plays. Mime (in Les Misérables), a big leading role (Professor Higgins), a virtuoso turn (as an American businessman in Youth At The Helm, he had impressed everyone by talking into five telephones at once — everybody in Taibach talked about it: Cis heard accounts &bquo;up and down the street&equo;), work on the radio and, above all, those scrupulous sessions in Ma Smith's front room and on the high hills, schoolteacher and pupil, two sons of miners in Wales, striving to speak the language of Shakespeare faultlessly.

He walked it.

Also, all of seventeen, he made a pass at the attractive, sophisticated casting director, Daphne Rye — the most influential casting director in Great Britain. Three years later it was she who gave him his passport, from the limbo of a long RAF demobilisation process, to the West End.

But it was Emlyn Williams he conquered at that stage and Emlyn Williams mattered. He was to give him a part which would take him into the West End a few months after leaving school, write a special role for him in what would be his first film, introduce him to his future wife and, through one of his sons, Brook, provide him with a lifelong younger &bquo;brother&equo;. More than all that, though, he showed Richard the way. By some terrific fluke Richard came face to face with his future at the precise time he most needed to see it. For Emlyn Williams had walked where Richard began to realise he now wanted to tread. Williams pointed in a direction and Richard followed it.

Williams himself — a miner's son — had found his way out of Wales and out of the pits via a schoolteacher, a woman, on whom he had based his hit play, The Corn Is Green. In the play a boy from the pits is discovered by the schoolteacher and after furious efforts, gets into Oxford University. And in Oxford, the Welsh boy had launched himself as a nationally acclaimed actor and playwright. Emlyn Williams was precisely the right man to be the next guru. But once again Burton had to win and hold his luck.

Williams recalled that first audition vividly.

&bquo;He was a most spectacular-looking boy. Marvellous green-blue eyes and he had Repose. Nothing precocious. Nothing smart-alec. Almost shy but sure of himself, you know.&equo; It was Williams's perceptive and remarkable schoolteacher, Sarah Grace Cooke, who met him and said to Emlyn, &bquo;He's like you: but he has the devil in him. You haven't.&equo;

It was a devil longing to get out and Emlyn's gentle comedy,The Druid's Rest, gave the devil its chance. The boy saw what fun and mischief was to be had. The devil grabbed it and was on the loose for ever after. Burton's devil was a terrible and limitless sense of driving pleasure: it was fuelled by awesome capacity and the hunger of those who cannot believe that such fortune will not vanish before their appetite is appeased. He was barely eighteen, he was to go on a tour of the fabled cities of England; he was to be thrown in with chorus girls, drink with vagabonds of the stage, have the money for floosies and low bars, time to read and time to talk and be praised for doing this stage work which was not work at all. Acting was Open Sesame.

And he had a friend in this Celtic lust for life: Stanley Baker, his understudy, another son of a miner, much poorer than Richard's family, and again someone plucked from that army of industrialised subjects by a schoolteacher. A couple of years younger, Baker looked older, and had already appeared in a film. The two boys from the puritan villages of Wales set themselves up as hell-raisers to the world.

Windows were smashed clean out in fourth-floor dressing rooms as actor and understudy flared up into a fight. Dreadful punishments were promised by Emlyn. Next night the same. Dock pubs in Liverpool in wartime full of enthralling and wicked characters. Train journeys to cold suburbs and the first recorded attempt at love-making — ending in fear of eternal damnation as he dozed off in front of the fire afterwards and his socks began to smoulder. So sex sent you straight to hell! Torn between a huge urge to do everything and a huge ignorance about how to go about it. Leaning through their window to sting the breasts of the sunning chorus girls with ammo from their pea-shooters in the morning: in the evening beer all round and trying to coax them up an alley. Quite dizzy with the glamour of it all. Philip came up to keep an eye on him for a week or so. So did Ifor. But he was out on his own now. &bquo;He was the most beautiful boy I'd ever seen,&equo; said Gladys Henson, who played his stage mother. &bquo;He was always lolling about, always so calm. He took everything in his stride … the theatre was quite secondary to his interest in rugby; he never stopped talking about the game! … I said to him: don't go to sleep in the middle of rehearsals! And he said: &bquo;Oh you know me, Glad. I go my own way.&equo;'

Burton was living off the land and he loved it. An almighty cloudburst of possibilities had cascaded over his head and he loved that too. Emlyn Williams might have pointed his finger to Art, to the Theatre, to Magic and Burton had time for all three: but later. What hit him most was what hit him first. What a life, whatfun, what pickings were there here! Perhaps it did not in truth add up to very much. A few smashed windows, drink, a fight or two, umpteen girls almost &bquo;conquered&equo;, long tall stories almost believed — but compared with what he had been used to it was the lure of the Orient, freedom, the cry of the Sirens. And all he had to do was be this other person and convince everybody. Which he did.

&bquo;In a wretched part [he played Glan, the elder son of publicans] Richard Burton showed exceptional ability,&equo; wrote the New Statesman. He would claim that it was the sentence which changed his life, convinced him that acting was worth doing. All that and an accolade from the intellectual socialist weekly! If only he could keep in touch with that centre of himself, which somehow, mysteriously, enabled him to do this acting business — then all the rest would be his.

Title: Churchill Author: Clive Ponting Date: 1994 Publisher: Sinclair-Stevenson B Churchill C British intelligence G America J "many other prominent European statesmen" K Hague Congress on European Union L the British Government M the Labour Government O people in India calling for independence X unknown

Churchill himself was convinced that there would be war with the Soviet Union within a few years. In May 1946 he told Mackenzie King, the Canadian Prime Minister, that within eight years (when the Soviets had developed their own atomic bomb) there would be 'The greatest war - the most terrible war which may mean the end of our civilisation'. But he still retained his admiration for Stalin, stating 'he would trust him further than any other Russian leader. He felt Stalin's word could be relied on. He was the one man in Russia today who could save a situation and might save it.' The Mackenzie King Record Vol 3, p. 236 In public Churchill asserted that the Soviets had roughly 200 combat-ready divisions in Eastern Europe poised to attack the West. In fact the Soviet Army was being rapidly demobilised; they were even ripping up many of the railway lines in eastern Germany they would require for mounting an invasion and were taking them to the Soviet Union as reparations. British intelligence estimates, which Churchill was later shown privately by Attlee in the autumn of 1946, suggested a Soviet total of about 100 divisions, most of which were far from combat-ready.

As the Fulton address made clear, Churchill had convinced himself that by virtue of his prophecies in the 1930s he was a reliable forecaster of world events in the l940s. As he was now predicting that war with the Soviet Union was inevitable, he believed there should be a pre-emptive nuclear strike before the Soviet Union developed its own weapon. He was not prepared to publicly advocate this course but he privately began to develop his idea of nuclear diplomacy directed against the Soviet Union. He told Lord Moran in August 1946: We ought not to wait until Russia is ready. I believe it will be eight years before she has these bombs [in fact it was less than three] . . . America knows that 52% of Russia's motor industry is in Moscow and could be wiped out by a single bomb. It might mean wiping out three million people, but they would think nothing of that. Channon Diary, 21.8.45, p. 412

The next year as the Cold War deepened he again spoke privately of an immediate nuclear attack on the Soviet Union if they did not accept the West's terms for their withdrawal from Eastern Europe. (This was exactly the nuclear blackmail he had feared if the Soviets obtained the bomb first.) He told Mackenzie King in November 1947 that the war of nerves had gone on long enough and if a 'stand is not taken within the next few weeks, within five years or a much shorter time, there would be another world war in which we shall all be finished'. Therefore there should be an attack before the Soviets could retaliate with nuclear weapons. They should be given the West's terms and told, 'If you do not agree to that here and now, within so many days, we will attack Moscow and your other cities and destroy them with atomic bombs from the air.' The Mackenzie King Record Vol 4, pp. 112-3

He spoke to Lew Douglas, the US Ambassador in London, and told him 'now is the time, promptly, to tell the Soviets that if they do not retire from Berlin and abandon Eastern Germany, drawing to the Polish frontier, we will raze their cities'. FRUS 1948 Vol 3, 17.4.48, pp. 90-1 In July he wrote to Eisenhower that the time had come for a 'settlement' with the Soviet Union. Now they were to be forced to give up the whole of Eastern Europe and retire within their borders. He argued 'the moment for this settlement should be chosen when they will see that the United States and its Allies possess overwhelming force'. WSC Vol 8, p. 422 Churchill outlined the same ideas to Eden but admitted 'None of this argument is fit for public use', indeed he does not seem to have considered what role Western public opinion would play in all these schemes to threaten a nuclear war. Ibid, p. 435 The furthest he would go was at the Conservative Party conference at Llandudno in October 1948, when he called for a 'settlement' with the Soviet Union on Western terms but did not make clear what that entailed. The development of the first Soviet atomic weapon in 1949 cooled Churchill's ardour. Nevertheless he still thought there would have to be an ultimatum to the Soviet Union and the threat of war. He told guests at the British Embassy in Paris in September 1951 that the United States would not stay long in Europe but 'in two or three years [they] would insist on having a show-down, and Russia would have to withdraw from her present forward positions in Poland and Czechoslovakia, or there would be war'. Ibid, p. 635 Once in power Churchill took a very different view of the situation.

As part of the response to what was being widely seen as an increasing Soviet threat Churchill advocated a European union, as did many other prominent European statesmen in the aftermath of the second destructive war on the continent within thirty years. Churchill had for long been under the influence of Count Coudenhove-Kalergi and his Pan-European Union and during the war he had advocated a series of regional groupings (including Europe) within the new United Nations though this had been rejected by the Americans among others. But when Churchill talked about Europe, he had continental Europe in mind. Britain was not to be part of this European Union. As early as February 1930 in an article in the Saturday Evening Post (which he recycled in the News of World in May 1938) he wrote:

We see nothing but good and hope in a richer, freer, more contented European commonality. But we have our own dream and our own task. We are with Europe, but not of it. We are linked but not compromised. We are interested and associated but not absorbed.

In parallel, he argued, there needed to be a 'proportionate growth of solidarity throughout the British Empire' and 'a deepening self-knowledge and mutual recognition among the English-speaking peoples'. Britain would only 'watch and aid' the process of European union.

Churchill made his first post-war appeal for European union in a speech in Zurich on 19 September 1946. Wartime experience of alliance with other European nations had not changed his views about Britain's benevolent aloofness. Neither was there any sign of his developing any more practical vision of an institutional framework that would underpin and organise the 'groupings' he advocated. The scheme he outlined very vaguely was based on a division of Europe into west and east, with a union of western states forming a bulwark against Communism. He favoured a partnership between France and Germany as part of 'a regional structure called, it may be, the United States of Europe'. This regional organisation would be within the UN framework because this 'larger synthesis will only survive if founded upon coherent natural groupings. There is already a natural grouping in the Western hemisphere. We British have our commonwealth of Nations . . . And why should there not be a European group ...?' Britain, along with the United States and possibly the Soviet Union, would be one of the 'friends and sponsors of the new Europe'. Nowhere in the speech did he suggest that Britain would be part of this new European entity. Indeed, to the extent that a more unified and stronger Europe would be able to stand up to the Soviet Union, it would lessen the need for any British intervention on the continent and allow her to concentrate on the Empire and the relationship with the United States.

In April 1947, at a rally in the Albert Hall entitled 'Let Europe Arise', Churchill, though favouring European unity, made his own priority absolutely clear: 'we shall allow no wedge to be driven between Great Britain and the United States of America'. At the party conference that year at Brighton in October he suggested that Britain should be 'the vital link' between the United States, the Commonwealth and a European union. In May 1948 he attended the Hague Congress on European Union - a meeting of largely unelected delegates, many in opposition and some not in politics at all. Apart from Churchill the other senior figures were Spaak, Bidault, Schuman, Blum, Reynaud and Monnet. Much of Churchill's speech was taken up by the need for unity in the face of the Communist threat. His one proposal was for a European Assembly to 'enable the voice of a United Europe to be heard'. But he did not spell out what powers it would have apart from debate and propaganda or how it would be linked to the Governments of Europe. The Congress went further and called for European economic and political union, together with a European Parliament and a Court of Human Rights.

At this point the British Government, which had been positive about the idea of European co-operation in the immediate post-war period, became sceptical once it became clear that the aim was to establish supranational institutions. The Labour Government insisted on watering down the Hague proposals into the Council of Europe, controlled by ministers from national governments, and a virtually powerless Assembly that was not allowed to discuss economics or defence and had only consultative powers on other subjects. The British delegation to the Council was not elected but appointed by the Government. Churchill led the Conservative members to the first meeting of the Assembly in Strasbourg in August 1949 but arrived two days after the opening and left immediately after his own speech.

While the rest of western Europe was moving towards a form of union that went further than just co-operation between governments, Britain was on the sidelines. Like the Government, Churchill rejected any idea of Britain participating in European supranational institutions. Much of his pro-Europe rhetoric was carefully chosen, designed mainly to embarrass the Labour Government rather than advance the cause of European unity. In November 1949 in the House of Commons he accepted the Government's view that Britain could not join a European economic system if the Commonwealth were excluded and took the unrealistic position that the Commonwealth should be part of any European trading bloc. Although he urged the Government to take part in the talks on the Schuman plan for a European coal and steel community (which would have supranational institutions), he did so only because he wanted Britain to wreck the plan. Without the removal of the offending supranational parts of the proposed treaty he thought Britain should not join. In office Churchill was to take no interest in advancing the cause of European union or promoting Britain's role within it.

At one with the Labour Government over its policy on Europe, Churchill also found it difficult to articulate a clear alternative to their policy in one of the most complex issues it had to face - the future of India. Although he had been forced under political pressure to agree to the Cripps offer in 1942 and had subsequently done his best to sabotage it, in public he was still committed to it, however much he disliked any move towards Indian independence. In practice by 1945 the policy that Churchill would have preferred - no concessions - was no longer practicable. The British did not have the power to rule India in the face of a widespread demand for independence and the only questions remaining were about the terms on which independence would be granted, in particular whether unity would be maintained or whether the Muslim provinces would be given the right to secede. In these circumstances Churchill personally favoured a highly fragmented India becoming a multitude of subordinate Dominions with a long-term British presence backed by an army, but it was difficult to advocate such a policy openly. The result was a policy of opposition to the Government but no coherent statement of an alternative.

Title: C.S LEWIS, a biography, Author: A.N. WILSON B C. S. Lewis C W. H. Auden G T. S. Eliot J Charles Williams K William Blake L Barfield O OUP U the characters in Williams' novels X unknown Y "Williams, Abelard, Pseudo-Dionysus and Plato" Z "the reader"
THE INKLINGS 1936–1939

W. H. Auden, the rising star of the English poetic firmament, met Charles Williams about a year after Lewis did. Auden had been asked by the Oxford University Press to prepare The Oxford Book of Light Verse, and he went along to discuss this with Williams at his office in Amen House. At this period in his life, Auden was still a subscriber to the bundle of ideologies — leftist in politics, atheist in religion, Freudian in psychology — which went with being a 1930s intellectual. Yet, in the presence of Williams, he felt &bquo;for the first time in my life … in the presence of personal sanctity … I had met many good people before who made me feel ashamed of my own shortcomings, but in the presence of this man — we never discussed anything but literary business — I did not feel ashamed. I felt transformed into a person who was incapable of doing anything base or unloving.&equo; T. S. Eliot, who published many of Williams's books, felt the same. Eliot had first met Williams — of all unlikely settings — at a tea-party given in London by Lady Ottoline Morrell, and felt &bquo;a kind of benediction&equo; emanating from this curious bespectacled creature who &bquo;appeared to combine frail physique with exceptional vitality&equo;.

Williams was a man who was able to hold many apparently contradictory ideas in harmony. For example, he was able to reconcile membership of the Church of England (rather High) with belonging to such occult groups as the Order of the Golden Dawn. Thomas Cranmer and Aleister Crowley were held in uneasy balance in his sympathies. A rather unsatisfactory marriage was glorified in his imagination by high-sounding comparisons between himself and Dante, while his largely innocent office romances — which do not appear to have gone much beyond crushes on secretaries — were seen in terms of Launcelot's devotion to Guinevere and the threatened breaking of the Round Table. Entirely self-educated and cockney in speech, Williams (rather like Blake in an earlier generation of London mystics) had an almost matter-of-fact awareness of the other world. Angels — or &bquo;angelicals&equo; as he would have preferred to call them in his strange idiolect — were as real to him as omnibuses or mortgage repayments — and far more likely to obtrude into his consciousness. In his theological writings, it is not always easy to see at what point he steps over the borderline between magic and religion. In his fiction, there is an analogous blurring of distinctions, shocking or thrilling depending on the reader's taste. Once Oxford University Press had accepted The Allegory of Love for publication, it was sent to Charles Williams, who worked on their editorial desk in London. It so happened, entirely by coincidence, that Coghill lent Lewis a copy of Williams's novel The Place of the Lion at precisely this moment.

The merits contained in any Williams novel — and this one has many — are not purely literary. Indeed, none of his novels is well shaped or well written. The characters have improbable names and say improbable things. The excitement of The Place of the Lion is in its power to shake the reader up — to make us feel that the world is not the place we thought it was. Here, for example, we meet a very ordinary young woman with the very extraordinary name of Damaris Tighe. She is the sort of girl we might meet in the pages of a Barbara Pym — a bit of a scholar, leading a spinsterly existence in a middle-class house in an English country village. But she is in fact in grave theological and spiritual error. Her &bquo;subject&equo; is the relationship between the angels of medieval philosophers and the Ideas and Forms in Plato. Her paper The Eidoli and the Angeli is not a suitable one to read to the little study group which meets in a neighbour's house: the group, it transpires, is actually in touch with the world of spirits. These people are not, like Damaris, dry-as-dust, unbelieving intellectuals. They are magicians and hierophants. The Eidoli and the Angeli have power to invade even dull suburban English houses. Damaris discovers that she has been guilty of intellectual sin in failing to believe, to realize imaginatively, the nature of the material she is studying. This is rather like the moment in Lewis's life when he described philosophy as a subject and Barfield replied that to Plato, philosophy was not a subject but a way. In The Place of the Lion, the Platonic archetypes of which objects and creatures in the world are but reflections or repetitions actually appear. A lion which at the beginning of the book seems as though it might just be an escaped animal from a nearby zoo turns out to be the great Lion of Strength. Perhaps the most extraordinary moment in the story is when the Butterfly appears and all the butterflies in the world, in a great swarm, are absorbed back into his essence.

Lewis was overwhelmed by reading this book. In the course of time, we begin to read Williams's influence in Lewis's own work — the Lion of Strength will reappear as Aslan, Judah's Lion, crushing the Serpent's Head in the Chronicles of Narnia, for example. The immediate impact in February 1936 was inner and self-disciplinary. &bquo;The reading of it has been a good preparation for Lent as far as I am concerned: for it shows me (through the heroine) the special sin of abuse of intellect to which all my profession are liable, more clearly than I ever saw before. I have learned more than I ever knew about humility. In fact, it has been a big experience.&equo;

If Lewis had been learning more than he knew before about humility, Williams had been learning more than he knew before about medieval literature. At the very moment Lewis was finishing The Place of the Lion, Williams was reading The Allegory of Love with great admiration. &bquo;I regard your book as practically the only one that I have ever come across, since Dante, that shows the slightest understanding of what this very peculiar identity of love and religion means,&equo; Williams wrote, signing himself &bquo;Very gratefully yours&equo;. The bulk of Lewis's book is pure literary history, though its earlier chapters refer to the strange pseudo-religion of Love which appears to have originated in twelfth-century Provence. But it is entirely characteristic of Williams, whose head was always buzzing with Dante, and with the dangerous borderlines between sacred and profane love, that he should have read The Allegory in that way.

Not long after this, Lewis and Williams met in London, as they continued to do at irregular intervals for the next three years. They really were very different types. Williams was emotionally exuberant, Lewis was profoundly buttoned up. Lewis was plump, and rather coarse in appearance; Williams, who has been unkindly likened to a monkey, was actually rather ethereal in manner, with his long fingers and piercing eyes. The ugly voice was not merely ugly; it was, by many accounts, half-hypnotic. But different as they were in appearance, temperament and background, they discovered in common a strong belief in the absolute reality of the supernatural world. It had been latent in Lewis ever since his encounter with God in Magdalen in the summer of 1929. But to meet Williams was to make the belief yet more inescapable.

Many readers of The Place of the Lion would be unable to convict the heroine of &bquo;sin&equo; at all. She is a modern woman, with a modern consciousness. How can we expect her to adopt the thought patterns of an earlier age? This problem of historical relativism is one of the most besetting for anyone who wishes to read an old book without either getting it hopelessly wrong or, worse, assuming that the fact that we are modern and the author of the book &bquo;medieval&equo; or &bquo;old&equo; implies the superiority of one or the other. Quite apart from the problem of the factual reliability of old books (is it so, for example, that there really are such eidoli and angeli as Williams, Abelard, Pseudo-Dionysus and Plato believed?), we meet, much earlier, the simple difficulty of adjusting to old meanings. Learning an old language — Middle English, Old French, Latin — is more than an exercise in matching modern word for old word. It often involves the modern mind's entering into old concepts for which there is no modern equivalent. What writers from past centuries believed about the world, the sky, themselves is often untranslatable, and we will never quite master it without the help of a guide. This was the task Lewis set himself. The Oxford lectures which he gave at this time were eventually to be published as The Discarded Image, perhaps the most completely satisfying and impressive book he ever published. One could wish it eight times as long, a great compendium like Burton's Anatomy of Melancholy. The subtitle of the book is An Introduction to Medieval and Renaissance Literature. But this is not a work of criticism, nor an attempt to make you like The Faerie Queene or the Confessio Amantis. It is a wide-ranging analysis of the world picture which almost all the old writers would have taken for granted but which we, our minds fed with different mythologies and sciences, would very easily mistake. How, for instance, did a medieval man look at the sky? Having early disposed of the false idea that in the Middle Ages people believed in a flat earth, Lewis tells us to look at the sky itself.

You must go out on a starry night and walk about for half an hour trying to see the sky in terms of the old (Ptolemaic) cosmology.

Remember that you now have an absolute Up and Down. The Earth is really the centre, really the lowest place; movement to it from whatever direction is downward movement. As a modern, you located the stars at a great distance. For distance you must now substitute that very special, and far less abstract, sort of distance which we call height: height which speaks immediately to our muscles and nerves. The Medieval Model is vertiginous. And the fact that the height of the stars in medieval astronomy is very small compared with their distance in modern, will turn out not to have the kind of importance you anticipated … To look out on the night sky with modern eyes is like looking about one in a trackless forest — trees forever and no horizon. To look up at the towering medieval universe is much more like looking at a great building. The &bquo;space&equo; of modern astronomy may arouse terror, or bewilderment or vague reverie; the spheres of the old writers present us with an object in which the mind can rest, overwhelming in its greatness but satisfying in its harmony. That is the sense in which our universe is romantic and theirs was classical.

By the time we have finished his chapter called &bquo;The Heavens&equo;, we have not only been informed about what the shape of the Ptolemaic universe was like, and how the belief in astrology worked, and how much knowledge was in our sense &bquo;scientific&equo; and how much &bquo;poetic&equo; or &bquo;mythological&equo;. We have actually had our picture of the universe changed for ever. By this, I do not mean that Lewis has represented the medieval picture as &bquo;better&equo; than the modern; but he has shown us that both are merely pictures. And in understanding the old picture so vividly, he has prepared us to appreciate, and to understand, many things which we either could not previously have hoped to understand, or which we had been looking at with half-open eyes. He enhances our sense not only of the poets' universe — the cosmology of Dante and Milton, for example — but also of the symbolism used by painters and architects. The past is still a foreign country, but we have been shown round it by the most genial and expert of guides. Such basic matters as what people believed about their own bodies — made up of humours — or their pasts are juxtaposed with fascinating excursions into such areas of belief as the fairies and mythical beasts. The range of reading and reference is prodigious. Almost the most enjoyable thing of all is Lewis's ability to find traces of the &bquo;old world&equo; — beliefs which go back to Isadore of Seville or Macrobius or even as far as Plato — surviving in the pages of Fielding, Johnson or Wordsworth. In The Discarded Image his omnivorous reading taste is best synthesized.

Title: The Life of Graham Greene Author: Norman Sherry Publisher: Penguin Date: 1989 B Graham Greene C Vivien G Bertolt Brecht J John Wilmot K Dryden L Greene's publisher M Henry Savile X unknown
27 Down and Out at Chipping Camden Life is short and so is money. -BERTOLT BRECHT

They left London for Chipping Campden by train on 2 March 1931 in the company of a toy Pekinese, newly bought by Greene for Vivien. They had seen one some months earlier, a puppy of fourteen weeks with a beautiful smoky fur, belonging to Raymond's wife, Charlotte (the Raymond Greenes were then living in Oxford where Raymond had a medical practice), and this led Greene to buy one. According to him, the puppy 'behaved like an angel on the journey', though he observed, characteristically, that it was 'sleeping uneasily and snoring a little.' Letter to his mother, 2 March 1931. It was to have a short life and a rather tragic end.

They had been ready at 7 a.m. for the furniture removers, but the van was an hour late and in fact did not reach the cottage until 5.45 p.m., so that the unloading of the furniture had to be done by the light of borrowed lamps. Moreover the curtains had not arrived and the lino had not been laid. They gave up the idea of spending the night there, boarded the dog out and went to an hotel. Greene remembered mice running up and down in the wainscoting and the dying coals in the grate 'fluttered like bats', Ibid an image usually indicating anxiety on his part. The next day Vivien got down to staining the cottage floor with Greene crouched in a corner out of the way, reading.

True they had substantially reduced their expenses by moving - the cottage cost only £1 a week - but they had also dramatically reduced their standard of living and quality of life.

Chipping Campden, some miles north of Oxford and situated in the Cotswold Hills was a very old market town. Its name derives from Old English meaning a market town in a valley of camps. It was built of local stone, and even the public telephone box in the town square had the stone's colouring to make it blend in. There was a quality of stillness (which persists today), of light, the sound of church bells and the smell of jam-making, and inns with names like Live and Let Live.

The cottage, 'Little Orchard', was up a short street called Mud Lane, at the end of the High Street. At the bottom of Mud Lane was a pump, said to be haunted by the ghost of a dancing bear. During their first night in the cottage they discovered that the Aladdin paraffin lamps smoked when left alone for a few minutes and they spent a disturbed night. They missed the sound of traffic and were kept awake by the hooting of an owl in the darkness. Greene wrote to his mother, 'I have little news in this dim and distant spot', and their isolation clearly troubled him. He warned his mother that he might kidnap her to stay with them, though his plan was to live at Chipping Campden only one year and to buy a two-seater car and learn to drive (which he never did).

His letters to his mother suggest that Vivien liked Chipping Campden, or at any rate was making the best of it and moving into local society: 'V. is gradually entangled in rural activities'; 'V. plunged into a new experience, acting as judge of the fancy dress parade [at a local fete] . . . She's enjoying it so much that she hasn't come home yet - 9.45. p.m.' Ibid., 12 June 1931. But she found shopping in a country village confusing. She recorded in her diary: 'The fish shop sells china on one side and flies on the other. The best eggs come from Foster the paraffin man, the best strawberries from Keyle the coal merchant. Fruit and vegetables from Turners Garage. Papers and magazines from the Ironmonger.' Diary, May 1932.

Their first visitor, Hugh Greene, must have had impressed upon him the primitiveness and isolation of the young couple's living conditions: 'We haven't too much room. If the divan bed hasn't come, do you mind the sofa? Also, there are a few wood lice, but we've nearly got them under.' Undated letter to Hugh Greene - the date on the envelope is not easy to read but is probably 17 April 1931. To his mother Greene wrote: 'Hugh and I did a long walk to Stow-in-the-Wold & I won more than 2/- off him at Rockaway . . . We were woke on the first night by hearing him being sick out of the window. We think it was the cider he had for supper after the railway journey. The Peke was being sick at about the same time as Hugh.' Letter to his mother 28 April 1931.

This letter was written on 28 April 1931, the day after he 'finished the new novel - the first version anyway . . . a long book, over 90,000 words' (his previous one had been just under 70,000). It had taken him seven months to reach this point. The novel was begun in September 1930 in London, but the pressure on him to produce a novel had led to his 'writing 24,000 words this month [April 1931] in spite of the move' - 'I've been working too hard,' he told his mother.

He thought of a singularly unsuitable title, The Phantom in the Hair, taken from an undistinguished poem by Coventry Patmore. By the time the proofs came to him in mid-August 1931 he still had not found a satisfactory title and, in some desperation, chose one previously put forward by his publisher for his preceding novel, a suggestion he had not then taken up - Rumour at Nightfall.

As a full-time writer, he took to going on long walks, possibly to work off his energy, no doubt to think of his work, and perhaps as a means of escape from work and the cramped conditions at 'Little Orchard'. He walked with Vivien, though she, being much shorter, must have had difficulty in keeping up with his long-legged strides:

We used to go for tremendous walks, tremendous for me. Graham would work in the mornings in a pathetic little study, rather cold, upstairs . . . Then in the afternoon, he'd go for long walks and sometimes I'd go with him. He's a tremendous walker, and very fast. And I remember his . . . noting snow on a hill or a wonderful tree or something - and I wasn't responsive, and he bent down, and said, 'But you can't see over the hedge.' Interview with Vivien Greene, July 1979.

Sometimes Greene would go off on his long hops and Vivien would travel by bus or train to his destination, then they would spend the night together in a pub or small hotel and return.

He walked with his literary agent: 'Mrs Higham is coming down for the weekend a fortnight after Easter', he wrote to his mother, 'while I meet her husband at Bicester and we walk home spending a night on the way.' Letter to his mother, 2 March 1931. But his favourite walking companion was always Hugh, though in later years it was mostly for visits to secondhand bookshops. Alas not now, since Sir Hugh died in 1987. But he was also perfectly happy with his own company and gives the impression of being something of a Wordsworthian solitary. Whenever he had reached a point when he could not continue with a novel, or had completed one, he would go on a tramp: 'After Woodstock I went to Stow-on-the-Wold, a lovely barren little place. The next day I did a long stretch along the top of the Cotswolds of over so miles to Tewkesbury, and the next day I went down to Gloucester. I'm rapidly qualifying for the kind of village postman's record of mileage, not counting short strolls, I've walked 127 miles this month,' he told his mother. Ibid., 31 May 1931.

He had taken the risk of giving up a secure and promising career with The Times; the risk of accepting a salary from his publishers on the understanding that he would produce saleable novels; the risk, financially forced on him, of removing himself from the London literary scene and into the country. He was to take yet another but more inexplicable risk.

In 1930 he had begun writing the biography of John Wilmot, the second Earl of Rochester, who was born on to April 1647 and died at the age of thirty-three. Wilmot was a dissolute courtier at the Restoration court of Charles II, a lecher and a drunk, but also a poet who could treat himself and his world with satiric coolness and who helped to establish the tradition of English satiric verse and assisted Dryden in the writing of Marriage-a-la-Mode. He anticipated Swift in his 'Satyr Against Mankind' with its scathing denunciation of rationalism and optimism, contrasting human perfidy and the instinctive wisdom of the animal world. He wrote to his friend Henry Savile: 'Most human affairs are carried on at the same nonsensical rate which makes me . . . think it a fault to laugh at the monkey we have here, when I compare his condition with mankind.' He was to turn to Catholicism and make a death-bed repentance.

In a pencilled note to his mother on 24 September 1930, Greene wrote: 'I did a little work at the Bodleian on the Earl of Rochester.' He had started Rumour at Nightfall and was awaiting the publication of The Name of Action. In a letter to Hugh from the British Museum, undated, but probably written about November 15th, he said: 'I hope by Christmas that I shall be better off & able to give you two [Presents] in one [it was Hugh's birthday]. You find me, as it were, deeply engaged working on my magnum opus "Strephon": The Life of the Second Earl of Rochester: - that is to say I am waiting in patience while half a dozen books of varying shades of indecency are brought to me. I've forgotten my ink so I can't go on with my third novel - now 1/7th done!' Letter to Hugh Greene, 15 November 1930.

His commitment to the research involved was serious: even while he was revising the first draft of Rumour at Nightfall he was working on the biography. He wrote to Vivien from the British Museum in early June 1931, again waiting for books to be brought to him: 'I'm going to Le Million this evening, rewarding myself for several minor discoveries here this morning', and ended his short note: 'There are a pile of books coming down the aisle to me, so goodbye, darling angel.'

He was within walking distance (for him) from Chipping Campden to Rochester's birthplace and place of burial, and in the same June he set off: 'I went off walking Wednesday and Thursday, spending Wednesday at Chipping Norton and visiting Spelsbury, where the Rochesters are buried and Adderbury where his country house remains.' He was following the route taken by the Parliamentary Army during the Civil War - 'over the final ridge of the Cotswolds, to Chipping Norton', and his personal experience of this journey appears in the opening of his biography - 'the level wash of fields . . . divided by grey walls, lapping round the small church and rising to the height of the gravestones in a foam of nettles before dwindling out against the black rise of Wychwood. A row of almshouses . . . an ancient stone shaped like a hawk in the middle of a field, innumerable heads of dandelions sparkling like points of dew in the sun - these are all that are likely to catch a traveller's attention. In the church vault the Rochester family is obscurely buried.' Lord Rochester's Monkey: Being the Life of John Wilmot, 2nd Earl of Rochester, Bodley Head, 1974, p. 13.

He visited Hinchingbrook House, home of the Earls of Sandwich, one of whom had married one of Rochester's daughters. 'A lovely house with a terrible Victorian front door; a beautiful garden terrace exactly as in Pepys' day.' He spent the night there and met the Earl: 'When I drove up two footmen and a butler to receive me, but no water laid on in the bedrooms. The Earl much younger than I'd expected - at any rate in appearance 50 at most; strong trace of Rochester blood in the extraordinarily heavy eyelids & rather protuberant eyes.' Letter to his mother, 12 June 1931.

The proofs of Rumour at Nightfall arrived in August 1931, and he hurried through them, hoping that Heinemann would publish the novel in September, but it was to be October or November. Waiting, he worked on the Rochester biography, suffering from hay fever and asthma: 'It's very asthmatic this year, making it impossible to breathe deep,' he wrote to his mother. 'Could you let me have the names of those papers one burns at night?' But he worked on, doing his 500 words a day until he had finished the Rochester biography. It was to be rejected.

Title: Modigliani Author: June Rose B Modigliani C Jean Cocteau G a journalist J Beatrice K Modigliani's daughter L all Modigliani's models M Kisling O Picasso U the Dadaists W "these artists in shirt sleeves" [at the Rotonde] X unknown
Towards the intense life

&bquo;PICASSO keeps taking me to the Rotonde,&equo; the rising young poet Jean Cocteau wrote to a friend in 1916. &bquo;Gloves, cane and collar astonish these artists in shirt-sleeves — they have always looked on them as the insignia of feeble-mindedness … still, it's great to be in the thick of the dog-fights of great art.&equo; That year the twenty-five-year-old Cocteau was working on the book of Parade, Diaghilev's controversial new ballet which was to express the new spirit in the arts, with music by Satie and Cubist costumes and sets by Picasso. &bquo;I was on my way towards the intense life,&equo; wrote Cocteau, &bquo;towards Picasso — towards Modigliani — towards Satie.&equo; A rising star, Cocteau was very much the dandy, full of elegance and highly conscious of the impression he made. So aware of the &bquo;internationalism of art&equo; (he told the story himself) that when a journalist asked him who the great French artists were, he replied: &bquo;Why, Picasso, Modigliani, Lipchitz, Stravinsky&equo; — a Spaniard, an Italian and two Russians.

Cocteau would have been delighted to introduce Modigliani to his world of the new couturiers and of Diaghilev's Ballets Russes, to help him to become a fashionable and popular portrait painter. And apparently he did try. But with his damnable purity, which they all praised after his death, Modigliani insisted on going his own way. He despised what he called the &bquo;snobs d'art&equo; and all the high-falutin discussion of art. &bquo;We working artists suffer from them&equo;, he once told Epstein.

He was still seen intermittently with the &bquo;bizarre Englishwoman&equo;, but by 1916 the love affair was effectively over. For both Beatrice and Modigliani it had been a glorious adventure at first, the excitement of the sexual encounters heightened by intellectual friction. But their feelings for each other had been irreparably damaged by the brawls and fights and the recriminations afterwards. Now Modigliani was living and working in his own place, producing about four paintings a month. By 1917 his paintings were to fetch the highest prices during his lifetime and in that year he is credited with painting one hundred and twenty-five canvases, a painting every three days. But his daughter implies that the high prices paid for work executed after 1916 may have affected the chronology. That seems extremely likely, as although he worked rapidly, all Modigliani's models speak of two- or three-day sittings. Of course when he was living with Beatrice — and he painted her at least fourteen times — he could resume his sittings more or less at will. By 1916 Kisling, who had served in the French Foreign Legion, was discharged wounded and working at his studio, No. 3 Rue Joseph Bara, and Modigliani often worked there with him. An easygoing, good-natured man, Kisling had a strong constitution and enjoyed the bohemian life of &bquo;chance romances, shindigs, drinking parties, sing-songs, brawls and wordy discussions&equo;, unclouded by guilt or ill-health. Whatever time he went to bed, Kisling was at his easel working early next morning, painting agreeable, nostalgic portraits of women. Kisling adored women and had an easy way with them, his face alive with sexual vitality. Never desperately short of money, he was lucky in attracting funds and spent his money generously. One day when he had sold a painting for a hundred francs, he spent it all on buying flowers for every woman who passed by in the street in a gesture that Modi much admired. However, when he invited Beatrice Hastings to come and model for him nude early on in their affair, Modigliani objected and she failed to keep the appointment. This happened twice. When Kisling asked Beatrice why she had not turned up, Modigliani replied: &bquo;I am responsible. If a woman poses for you, she gives herself to you.&equo; Kisling allowed Modigliani to use his studio, often lent him brushes and paints and behaved with a careless generosity towards him, but the two men were too different in temperament to become intimate friends. Modigliani appreciated Kisling for what he was, a sweet-natured, high-spirited, sensual young man.

Jean Cocteau came to Kisling's studio to have his portrait painted and Kisling and Modigliani both painted him, side by side. No doubt Picasso had advised Kisling of Modigliani's talent. Pierre Reverdy, the poet, sat in the large studio watching the artists at work. Cocteau would not stop talking. He kept up a non-stop stream of words against the patter of the raindrops beating against the skylight, to Modigliani's silent exasperation. In Kisling's studio, where there was always a bottle or two open, Modigliani wrote on one of the preparatory pencil sketches that he made: &bquo;I, the undersigned, author of the drawing, swear never to get drunk again for the duration of the war&equo;. In Kisling's portrait Cocteau appears as a small, sensitive, dreaming figure, almost lost in the large room, with its chairs and table, open window, blue sky and a cat. Whereas Modigliani cut out all extraneous detail and painted Cocteau in a high-backed chair, looking every inch a peacock, angular and dominant. When he saw the finished portrait Cocteau was shaken and described it privately as &bquo;diabolical&equo;. The painting was proof, he said, that Modigliani detested him. Cocteau was acute, yet the exaggerated portrait had a curiously prophetic quality. By 1956, when Cocteau was a man in his sixties, he had grown to have an uncanny resemblance to the painting. Despite the unspoken antipathy he felt, Modigliani was reluctant to accept a fee for the painting. When Cocteau insisted, Modigliani stipulated his price: five francs. The canvas was too large for Cocteau to carry, and since he did not have the cash to hire a fiacre, the painting remained at the Rotonde for years. Modigliani's paintings always reveal what the painter thought of his model. In the majority of his work, he displays a sympathy which reaches to the inner core of his subject. But Modigliani found Cocteau unbearably pretentious, a name-dropper with an instinct for self-advertisement. Possibly Cocteau's exaggerated, precious manner made Modigliani feel threatened in his own sexuality. Although he was plainly heterosexual, he had an unusually sensitive, almost feminine, side to his nature. And then again perhaps Modigliani's exasperation stemmed in part from envy of this brilliant young man.

By deliberately turning his back on the new spirit in art, Modigliani found himself excluded from most of the excitement and gaiety in the arts that flourished in spite of the war. Picasso and Matisse sponsored a Granados-Satie concert in 1916, a very fashionable occasion with a select audience. Later in the year, when the poet Apollinaire came back from the war with a head wound, a grand banquet was held in his honour at the Palais d'Orléans in the Boulevard du Maine. Ninety guests, including André Gide, Picasso, Max Jacob, Matisse, Vlaminck and Cocteau, sat down to a meal of fantasy. The twelve courses included &bquo;Hors d'oeuvres cubistes, orphistes, futuristes: Méditations esthétiques en salade: Café des Soirées de Paris&equo;, and Alcools. The evening ended in a brawl between the different factions in Cubism, but it brought a moment of splendour into the blackouts and bombings of war.

Yet Modigliani was too much a part of the life of Montparnasse, too involved with the individuals leading the &bquo;new art&equo;, to remain completely aloof. In 1914 he had met Hans Arp, the French painter who was to become prominent in the new Dada movement, at the artists' canteen in the Avenue du Maine. Two years later Arp was living in Zurich, a member of a group of talented émigré artists who had left their own countries because of the war. Through casual meetings at cafés, the artists drew together to form a movement in protest against the waste of war, against nationalism and against everything pompous, conventional or boring in the art of the Western world. Since they held the bourgeois responsible for the war, they went out of their way to shock. In New York Duchamps provided the Mona Lisa with a moustache and Picabia painted absurd machines that mocked technology and efficiency. But it was in Zurich that the first shot was fired. The Dadaists, a nonsense name chosen at random, evolved the idea of a miniature variety show and held their first show in a little bar, the Cabaret Voltaire. Hugo Ball, a German actor and playwright, Hans Arp, Tristan Tzara and Marcel Janco, a poet and artist from Rumania, and Richard Huselsenbeck, a German poet, were the leaders of Dada. &bquo;We wanted to make the Cabaret Voltaire a focal point of the &bquo;newest art&equo;, although we did not neglect, from time to time, to tell the fat and utterly uncomprehending Zurich philistines that we regarded them as pigs and the German Kaiser as the initiator of the war … The Cabaret Voltaire group were all artists in the sense that they were keenly sensitive to newly developed artistic possibilities … In that period as we danced, sang and recited night after night in the Cabaret Voltaire, abstract art was for us tantamount to absolute honour. Naturalism was a psychological penetration of the motives of the bourgeois, in whom we saw our mortal enemy, and psychological penetration, despite all efforts at resistance, brings an identification with the various precepts of bourgeois morality … Dada was to be a rallying point for abstract energies and a lasting slingshot for the great international artistic movements&equo;. Modigliani was in sympathy with the broad sentiments of the movement, the internationalism, the disgust at the war and those who profited from it, and the sensitivity to the new possibilities in art, although the emphasis on abstract art did not fit into his creed. But at the time of the launch of Dada, Modigliani was not clear about the meaning of the new movement and no one else seemed to know. &bquo;With psychological astuteness, the Dadaists spoke of energy and will and assured the world that they had amazing plans. But concerning the nature of these plans, no information was forthcoming.&equo; When the Dada brochure, Cabaret Voltaire, was published in June 1916 it was &bquo;a catch-all for the most diverse directions in art which at that time seemed to us to constitute &bquo;Dada&equo;.&equo; The cover design was by Arp and inside were contributions from Picasso, Kandinsky and Modigliani as well as the leaders of the movement. Modigliani's contribution was a portrait of Arp. Very probably he gave Arp the drawing, who used it with the artist's consent. His work was also shown at the Dada gallery in 1917, the Cabaret Voltaire, with a very mixed group of artists including Picasso, Arp, De Chirico, Paul Klee and Oscar Kokoshka.

For Modigliani it was important for his work to be seen outside France in an international setting. By now he had come to symbolize the Montparnasse adventure, and even in his worst moments he had a glamour about him, a sense of intensity, that excited envy and admiration. Jean Cocteau recognized it, although there was no personal sympathy between them and Jean Cocteau was deeply involved in the avant-garde. In Paris, at No. 6 Rue Huyghens, in a dingy, badly heated studio which belonged to a Swiss painter, Lejeune, modern art exhibitions, poetry readings and performances of new music were held in wartime. Paul Guillaume arranged the art exhibitions. Sometimes in a display of the new &bquo;simultaneity&equo; that was all the rage, there would be a combined performance of art, poetry reading and music of high quality with a fashionable, well-dressed crowd mingling with the artists. Modigliani was among the painters who showed their work at the studio in the narrow street off Boulevard Montparnasse in 1916. Visitors to the studio could gain an impression of his work as a whole and grasp the cumulative effect.

Filename: tSElio Title: T.S Eliot Author: Ackroyd, Peter Sample: End 232-335 A an Esso advertisement B T. S. Eliot C cartoon sailor D Katherine Ann Porter F "younger poets and critics" G Joseph Chiari J "one friend" K Willa Muir L Djuna Barnes M "one observer" R Dobré O Robert Giroux U Edmund Wilson V TSE's doctor W TSE's secretary X unknown Y Emmanuel Litvinoff Z Leonard Woolf
The Public Man 1950-1956

Eliot had arrived in South Africa by the time The Cocktail Party opened in New York on 21 January 1950, at the Henry Miller Theatre. There were none of the demonstrations or obstructions which he had feared, and in fact such was the success of the play that he was featured on the cover of Time magazine on 6 March. His words, already being quoted in the pulpit, were also being used on Madison Avenue: an Esso advertisement in 1948 had had as its message "Time future contained in time past". A cartoon in the New York Times in April 1950 showed a sailor in a tattooing parlour, saying "I have in mind a couple of lines by T. S. Eliot". He was now a celebrity. When he arrived in South Africa, a crowd was waiting at the dock to greet him, and on later visits to the United States he was besieged by autograph hunters and press photographers waiting for him after readings. When he lectured at Harvard in this year, policemen had to control the crowds who came out to see him, and loudspeakers were set up for those who could not get into the auditorium. Katherine Ann Porter has described how, at one New York party, the guests were "swarming" around him, "grabbing him, patting him, owning him, trying to claw each other away from him". Fame is a less brilliant commodity in England, but nevertheless he had to keep his address secret, to protect himself not only from letters and telephone calls but also from undesirable visitors who might arrive at Carlyle Mansions.

There seems to be a law in human behaviour that people, in the end, get what they want, and there can be little doubt that Eliot would not have acquired the eminence which he now enjoyed unless on one level he had sought it: he said, in an address delivered during this period, that "…things sometimes become possible if we want them enough." Many observers noticed the force and weight of his presence; it might be called dedication, or ambition, or it might have been something below the level of consciousness which propelled him forward. Nevertheless, if we examine the pattern of his life, it reveals a programmatic aspect, and the steeliness of his resolve is not to be doubted. But there was also a sense in which he despised fame even as he obtained it, and when in this year he described Mark Twain as a man who wanted success or reputation and yet at the same time "resented their violation of his integrity", there can be little doubt that once again he was expressing his own feelings through the agency of another's. Already he was wondering if his fame meant that his writing had only a contemporary appeal and he complained that people now thought of him as a celebrity rather than as a poet. In retrospect, of course, it is clear that his creative powers were beginning to wane and that his real work had been done. But there was also a growing disaffection among the younger poets and critics: he had ceased to be a poet and had become an institution, and the only thing to do with an institution is to attempt to pull it down. He was compared with Aristides the Just, and there were those who wished a similar fate for him. One phrase was repeated as a joke, "The Blessed Thomas Eliot Considered as the Air We Breathe"; in the Fifties and Sixties there would be many attempts to dispel that air and to "place" Eliot as some great, dim figure from the past.

He was a relatively wealthy man; his annual income, from both his publishing salary and his royalties, was approximately £4,000, and in the early months of this year his income from the New York production of The Cocktail Party was estimated at about £570 per week: this was no doubt why, in June, he was looking for an accountant. (At his death, he left £105,272.) Wealth did not make him lavish, however; he had always been careful about money — indeed, he was economical in all areas of life, even in small matters such as ensuring that all the tea in a tea-pot had actually been drunk — and Joseph Chiari has remembered how he kept a regular account of his expenses in a pocket notebook. One friend has explained how, in a conversation in which she was lamenting the cost of electricity, Eliot asked her in a confidential manner, "Are you on the domestic tariff?" He was nothing if not practical in his dealings with the world — he insisted on proper fees for the republication of his essays, for example, and used to advise friends like Herbert Read on the amount they should charge for a lecture tour.

But if he was scrupulously careful about his own expenditure, he was generous to other poets and writers. He underwrote a loss of £1,500 on Ronald Duncan's play, Stratton, but only on condition that Duncan was not told. And when in 1949 Wyndham Lewis completed his portrait of him, Eliot quietly paid Lewis £50 more than the agreed price. (He later made it clear that he did not wish the letters revealing his generosity to be published.) Then in the following year he gave Lewis £200, to finance a trip to Sweden where he was to receive X-ray treatment for his deteriorating eyesight. His secrecy abut his own generosity makes it very difficult to document in full; certainly, during the years of the Second World War, he gave money to Dylan Thomas and Roy Campbell, but many other such instances may have gone unrecorded.

After a spring and summer during which he was so busy with his ordinary duties that he had no time to himself at all — not even his evenings — he returned again to America in the late autumn of 1950. These trips to the United States were to become a regular event, part of his routine as it were, and there was a sense in which he was returning home. He spent one night in New York and then, nursing a cold which he had contracted on the boat, he went straight to Boston — with his relatives, in particular his two sisters and his late brother's family, and with old friends like Emily Hale and Djuna Barnes, he could still enjoy an affectionate intimacy which he seemed to lack in England. Willa Muir saw him in America and observed, "Tom Eliot is much more human here than in England. He was less cautious, smiling more easily, spontaneous in repartee, enjoying the teasing he was getting from Djuna… In her company he seemed to have shed some English drilling and become more American." And yet even to his relatives he must have seemed still in part a "foreigner", with his accent and his clothes; that was an aspect of his loneliness, never to be completely at home anywhere. In a preface to The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, published in this year, he described the landscape of his childhood and speculated about the boy who remained within the adult and successful figure of Mark Twain — the boy who was called "Huck" itself; it was impossible for that boy or that river "to have a beginning or end — a career". In America, and in his memories of a life still to be wished for although lost and gone for ever, that boy could be glimpsed in Eliot also.

But he was still very much a public man, and to pay for his visit he had agreed to give a limited number of addresses and readings. At the University of Chicago, he gave four lectures in November on "The Aims of Education" and in the same month talked on At the beginning of the previous month, he had given a reading in New York where one observer described him as a "hot ticket". Lecturing was now easier for him than it once had been — he had, after all, accumulated a great deal of experience — but the readings of his own poetry frequently left him exhausted. Robert Giroux has recalled how, in advance of such occasions, Eliot was as "nervous as a cat" but that, when he had begun, a "great calm" descended upon him. He was now a very effective reader of his own work — his theatrical instincts were here most valuable and, as Edmund Wilson noted, he could communicate a feeling of intense excitement to his audiences.

The lectures which he delivered in America on this visit are not of crucial critical significance and, like other addresses of the same period, they are chiefly remarkable for the fact that he felt able to talk at some length about himself and his work — as if he realized that audiences came to see him, rather than hear anything he might care to say. He described his childhood in America, his experiences as a teacher, his work as a publisher, his poetic development, and his progress in the drama. He also admitted the faults in his writing — something which the Eliot of earlier years would never have been able to do, in public at least. In his Chicago lectures, for example, he described how certain passages of Notes toward the Definition of Culture had been exposed as a "mass of contradictions" and, at the end, he also made a rueful disclaimer — "I am quite aware that I have been trying to persuade, although I may not be quite sure of what". In fact these lectures offered an elegant and lucid exposition of educational theories and assumptions (he had been exercised by this topic since the early forties) and although he failed to arrive at any conclusions he suggested that none could in any case be reached. He told George Seferis that, in his prose writings, the need for honesty and clarity entailed the kind of elaborate elucidation which audiences found dull; but this was now the manner that Eliot adopted, and it is possible to see the equivocations and hesitations of his later prose work as aspects of what was essentially a Socratic method of inquiry rather than an expression of caution or indecision.

When he returned to England in the middle of December, the winter again affected him; he contracted bronchitis ten days after his arrival and suffered a further three attacks during January 1951. He stayed at home for part of that month, and his doctor advised him to restrict his engagements as much as possible. He was well enough in February, however, to attend a poetry reading at the Institute of Contemporary Arts; but it was not a pleasant occasion. Apparently without Eliot having been warned, the poet Emmanuel Litvinoff read a poem which attacked his attitude towards the Jews. At the end of the reading there was some consternation but Eliot, who was sitting at the back of the room, was heard to mutter, "It's a good poem, it's a very good poem". The incident was reported in the press, however, and his secretary was quoted in one newspaper as saying, "Many Jewish people have written to him accusing him of anti-semitism. It is not true".

Since it is the charge still most frequently levelled against him, it is perhaps worth examining the evidence for it. In his published writings there are two egregious instances: the line "The Jew is underneath the lot," in "Burbank with a Baedeker: Bleistein with a Cigar" and the reference to the undesirability of a large number of "free-thinking Jews" in After Strange Gods. In his unpublished correspondence there are four references. In a letter to Herbert Read, dated "16 February" (probably written in 1925) he described a racial prejudice from which he was not immune — although he did not specify that prejudice, its nature is clear from the context, in which he offered Disraeli as an example of what he meant. Finally in a letter to Bonamy Dobrée — dated by Dobrée "about March 1929" — he made a number of supercilious remarks about the Jews. All the available evidence suggests, then, that on occasions he made what were then fashionably anti-semitic remarks to his close friends. Leonard Woolf, himself a Jew, has said, "I think T. S. Eliot was slightly anti-semitic in the sort of vague way which is not uncommon. He would have denied it quite genuinely", which suggests Eliot's ability to seem quite different to different people. But there is one further distinction which needs to be made. He was drawn to the traditions of Sephardism, he had once explained; that rigorous and secluded tradition appealed to his own sensibility, in the same way that "free-thinking" Jews seemed to him to come too close to the rational Unitarianism which he despised. On a less theoretical level, it is also true that his expressions of anti-semitism occur in the Twenties or just before, when he was inclined to make misogynistic remarks also; it was a period when his own personality threatened to break apart, and it seems likely that his distrust of Jews and women was the sign of an uneasy and vulnerable temperament in which aggression and insecurity were compounded. This is an explanation, however, and not a justification.

Title: Alan Turing: The Enigma of Intelligence Author: ANDREW HODGES Date: 1983 Publisher: Unwin B Alan Turing [aka AMT] C Stephen Toulmin D Rodney Garland F Professor J. Polanyi G Humpty Dumpty J Kjell K Mike Woodger L J. C. P. Miller M Robin O Gandy O Christopher Bennett P Fritz Peters R Tony Brooker S Franz Greenbaum T Mrs Greenbaum U a young man Alan picked up in Paris V Fred Clayton W the Manchester intellectual establishment X unknown Y Minutes of the University Council Z attractive young PhD student

The examination of Robin's PhD thesis, on the logical foundations of physics, had to be postponed since Stephen Toulmin, the philosopher of science, had decided he could not undertake it after all. Early in 1953, Alan wrote to Robin: They have at last found someone to referee your thesis, viz. Braithwaite. I think it would be best if we had the oral at Cambridge and am writing to Braithwaite to suggest this. ... Have had another go at the Unity of Science essay.

This was a prize essay that Robin was submitting to the Unity of Science journal, concerned with the same subject. I think the duplicate types might be quite important. Don't they answer the question about 'What is Time'? I was amused about 'inpenetrability' at first. I thought it was a reference to 'Through the Looking Glass', where Humpty Dumpty says 'Inpenetrability. That's what I say.' But on looking up the reference thought probably not. This letter was rendered, not very effectively, as part of the computer printout. Even so, it was more easily legible than the message he once sent to David Champernowne which simply consisted of a piece of teleprinter tape. It had his friend spending hours on breaking the Baudot code.

Alan had proposed having the oral in March, but this did not suit Robin, who had arranged to go skiing in Austria. Alan wrote: Sorry it really isn't possible to make your oral any earlier. Braithwaite won't have read it before the very end of March.... If you really are going skiing no doubt it could be delayed till April or May though I may have forgotten about it by then mostly. Your last letter arrived in the middle of a crisis about 'Den Norske Gutt', so I have not been able to give my attention yet to the really vital part about theory of perception.... The nature of this 'crisis' was partly revealed by another letter, dated 11 March 1953: My dear Robin, I am going to try and stop your journey to Austria by informing the immigration authorities of the following facts:- (i) That although you have the permission of your mother the countersignature of the mayor of Leicester is a forgery executed by one of Strauss's patients. E.B. Strauss, the Jungian psychoanalyst, whom Robin had known for a long time. (ii) That the skiing expedition is a blind and that you are really being exported to satisfy the lusts of La Contessa Addis Abbabisci A reference to an incident in Robin's boyhood, when the exiled Emperor of Abyssinia had resided near his home, and had invited Robin and his mother to tea. (the pope's mistress-in-chief) who fell in love with you when you visited the opera in Naples. (iii) That you are a heretic with allegiances to the church of Princeton and the hall of Kings.

Any of these grounds should be adequate I think. If in spite of all they let you in, I hope you have a good holiday. I'll leave it to Braithwaite now to start arranging another date for oral. I may visit Cambridge towards end of March anyway.

The Kjell crisis has now evaporated. It was very active for about a week. It started by my getting a p.c. from him saying he was on his way to visit me. At one stage police over the N. of England were out searching for him, especially in Wilmslow, Manchester, Newcastle etc. I will tell you all one day. He is now back in Bergen without my even seeing him! For sheer incident it almost rivals the Arnold story.

Alan spoke of this 'crisis' in the computer laboratory, to Norman Routledge, and to Nick Furbank, with whom he stayed briefly at the end of March, while attending a conference on computers This was a symposium on Automatic Digital Computation, held at the NPL from 25 to 28 March 1953. AMT gave no talk. Notes made by Mike Woodger show that he commented on applications of computers to pure mathematics after a talk by J. C. P. Miller of Cambridge - mainly on the zeta function but also mentioning problems in algebraic topology. at the NPL. But he never 'told all', dismissing the story as another absurd police folly, There was a postscript to his letter to Robin: 'Is the beginning of this letter whimsical or what?' - a question he did not answer. Nor did Robin look for an answer: his own reply responded subtly to the news of a 'crisis' by recommending the novels of Denton Welch. involving his own house being under watch. It did not occur to those whom he told that there was a different kind of explanation for what had happened. His letter to Robin said no more, and passed on to other concerns: I've got a shocking tendency at present to fritter my time away in anything but what I ought to be doing. I thought I'd found the reason for all this, but that hasn't made things much better. One thing I've done is to rig the room next [to the] bathroom up as electrical lab. Am not doing very well over your vision model.

In this 'laboratory' he was able to do 'desert island' experiments of an electrolytic kind, using current from the electricity mains supply. He would use coke as electrodes, saying that using carbon sticks from old batteries was a form of cheating, and weed juice as a source of oxygen. He liked to see how many chemicals he could produce, starting from common substances like salt - much as he would have done at Dinard if his mother had allowed it. The room he used was in fact a small space left in the middle of the house when the bathroom had been carved out of a larger room. He called it 'the nightmare room' - playing on Mrs Turing's fears of an accident.

Alan's letter also explained that he Went down to Sherborne to lecture to some boys on computers. Really quite a treat, in many ways. They were so luscious, and so well mannered, with a little dash of pertness, and Sherborne itself quite unspoilt.

His schooldays might well have seemed simple and safe, in comparison with the world in which he now waited for the next turn of the screw. This visit had been on 9 March, and in his talk to the science society, The Shirburnian, 1953. Mr Turing made a very clear analogy between a stupid clerk, with his mechanical calculating device, paper to write his workings on, and his instructions, and the electronic brain which combined all these in one. All that was necessary was to put the instructions into a tape machine and the mass of wires, valves, resistors, condensors, and chokes did the rest, the answer appearing on another tape. . . The existence of this society, the Alchemists, since 1943, was a concession to the modern world, but otherwise Sherborne was indeed 'unspoilt'; neither war nor end of empire had much modified the training of administrators for the 1980s and 1990s. There were, however, more and more cracks appearing in Alan's stiff upper lip, and although deploring his tendency to 'fritter his time away', he was not finding it quite so important to keep his nose permanently to the grindstone. Typically, he had made a game out of the difficult process of breaking the ice, so that when among friends, notably Robin and his friend Christopher Bennett, they would share what Alan chose to call 'sagas' or 'saga-ettes'.

A 'saga' would have to enjoy the dimensions of 'the Arnold story', but a saga-ette might have more modest proportions of self-revelation. Alan would tell the saga-ette of a particular Paris adventure. Alan had picked up a young man and insisted on walking back to his hotel instead of taking the Metro. This caused amazement, Alan said, because 'he thought of Paris like you or I would think of a Riemann surface; he only knew the circles of convergence round every Metro station, and couldn't analytically continue from one to another!' In the hotel, the boy had solemnly lifted up the mattress, and inserted his trousers, pour conserver les plis, which this time amazed Alan, who never had a visible crease and wanted to get on with it. Afterwards, the boy had made up some story about exchanging their watches so as to prove their trust for each other, until they met next day, so Alan showed his trust, and lost the watch, but considered it worth the sacrifice. Alan and Robin would also point out this or that pleasant sight in the street, each catering to the taste of the other. Robin's interests were more uniformly distributed.

'Is that what you call a pretty girl?' Alan once asked, allowing the suggestion to stand that he thought he ought, at least in principle, to expand his own interests.

Once Alan had been persuaded that self-exploration and self-revelation were worthwhile goals, he pursued them in his uncompromising way. In the computer laboratory, for instance, a young man whom Alan found particularly attractive once arrived from London to use the computer. 'Who's that beautiful young man?' Alan immediately asked Tony Brooker, who explained. An invitation to dinner for the young PhD rapidly followed, but Alan found himself fobbed off with a thin excuse, of which he took a dim view, about having to visit a sick aunt.

Franz Greenbaum had a theory that Alan's attention was drawn to those who in some way either resembled himself, or what he would like to be - a rather commonplace observation, perhaps, and of the psychoanalytical kind where any exception could be taken to prove the rule. But it intrigued Alan, who apparently had never thought out such ideas before. One person who encouraged this development was Lyn Newman, who became another of the small group of human beings whom Alan could trust. There was a playful element in his correspondence The attribution to 1953 may here be wrong. This fragment of a letter in KCC was headed only 'May'; it might have been May 1954. It was a note of apology for not visiting the Newmans (who retained their house in a village outside Cambridge) when on a visit to Cambridge two weeks or so earlier. 'I found such a round of gaieties had been arranged for me that it was quite impossible to get out to see you.' Nothing else of this correspondence has survived; my suspicion is that it probably held the most revealing and sophisticated psychological comment that he ever put into letters. But also, of course, an area where AMT's life could not be separated from the privacy of others. Mrs Newman died in 1973.

(some of it in French) with her, but it represented a serious cracking of the male shell. He wrote to Lyn Newman in May that 'Greenbaum has made great strides in the last few weeks. We seem to be getting somewhere near the root of the trouble now.' To be seeing a psychoanalyst, foreign and Jewish at that, was of course another source of stigma and certainly a drastic departure from his early background. It was typical of him that he should write in this open, nonchalant way. Nor was Lyn Newman a privileged confidante in the respect; thus Alan had also made friends with Michael Polanyi's young son John, recognising in him a budding chemist, inviting him to dinner to talk about morphogenesis, and presenting him with an envelope labelled 'scrapings from Alan Turing's kitchen'. It contained samples from a mysterious growth on the wall which he optimistically imagined that John Polanyi could identify. While away in Canada, John had a letter from Alan Letter to the author from Professor J. Polanyi, 6.10.78. 'full of hope for the future and praise for his analyst'.

By spring 1953 he was also being invited to the Greenbaums' house from time to time, for Franz Greenbaum, whom the Manchester intellectual establishment did not consider a very respectable figure, was not bound by the strict Freudian view of relations between therapist and client. Alan quite failed to communicate with Mrs Greenbaum, but became fond of playing with their daughter Maria. He made a particular hit by giving her a box of sweets, saying it was a special left-handed tin for her. Once he amazed Mrs Greenbaum by his excitement over a youth in the next door garden whom she did not think at all attractive. She thought him 'obsessed by sex' - but he was obsessed with truth, at the cost of crudity.

The probation period ended in April 1953. For the past three months they had put an implant of hormone into his thigh, instead of the dosage of pills. Suspecting, with some annoyance, that the effect would last more than three months, he had it taken out. Then he was free, the more so because his future at Manchester was secure. On 15 May 1953 the University Council formally voted Minutes of the University Council show that this had been decided by January or February 1953. to appoint him to a specially created Readership in the Theory of Computing when the five years of the old position ran out on 29 September. This he could reasonably expect to last for ten years, if he wanted it. In this respect, his insouciant 'Pooh!' to Don Bayley had been justified: he had a small pay rise, and freedom to work exactly as he chose.

On 10 May Alan sent a letter to Maria Greenbaum, describing a complete solution to a solitaire puzzle, and ending: I hope you all have a very nice holiday in Italian Switzerland. I shall not be very far away at Club Mediterranée, Ipsos-Corfu, Greece. Yours, Alan Turing. He had already - most likely in 1951 - been to a Club Mediterranée on the French coast. In this summer of 1953, probably over the period of the coronation, At Whitsun (24 May) he was due at Guildford, and on 30 May at Cambridge for Robin's PhD oral examination, so his holiday was most likely in early June. Caliban escaped from the island for his brief ration of fun, to Paris for a short while, and then to Corfu. He would return with half a dozen Greek names and addresses, As note 8.21. although from this point of view his exploration of the eastern Mediterranean proved disappointing. As at school, he made mistakes with the French, but still did better than with the Greek.

On the beach in Corfu, with the dark mountains of Albania on the horizon, he could study both the seaweed and the boys. Stalin was dead, and a watery sunshine was emerging over a new Europe. Even the cold shabbiness of British culture was not immune to change, and after more than ten years of ration books, a quite new mood, one that no one had planned for, was coming with the growth of the Fifties. Television, its development arrested in 1939, made its first mass impact with the coronation. In a far more complex and more affluent Britain, the boundaries of official and unofficial ideas would become less clear. An outsider, an intellectual beatnik like Alan Turing, might find more room to breathe.

Besides the general relaxation of manners, the diversification of life was most acute in questions of sex. As in the 1890s, the greater official consciousness of sexuality was matched by a greater outspokenness on the part of individuals - and most notably in America, where the process had begun earlier than in Britain. One particular example of this, the American novel Finistère Fritz Peters, Finistère (Gollancz, 1951). which had appeared in 1951, was much admired by Alan. It described the relationship between a fifteen-year-old boy and his teacher, and like The Cloven Pine tried to see life through teenage eyes. It was, however, a relationship very different from the vague nuances of Fred Clayton's cri de coeur. In the old days Alan had often teased Fred, shocking him with rather over-simplified assertions about the prevalence of homosexual activity, and this was a book which caught up with the serious thread that had underlain that delight in gossip - a wish to defy the 'social stigma' and discuss sex in the same way as one might discuss anything else. Meanwhile Finistère also did full justice to the reality of the 'social taboo', and its plot followed a complex pattern of private and public disclosures. These the novelist made lead to a conclusion of hopeless doom, as though homosexual life were something inherently self-contradictory and fatal: 'the strip of sand, the distinct footprints leading in one single trail into the black water.'

In its tragic end, its suicide at a symbolic 'end of the earth' - as also with its linking of the boy's longing for a man friend with the failure of his parents' marriage - Finistère took its place amidst the older genre of writing about homosexuality. It brought a post-war explicitness into an already dated form. By 1953 the point had been well made that gay men could muddle through like anyone else; thus the new English novel The Heart in Exile Rodney Garland, The Heart in Exile (W. H. Allen, 1953). wended its way through the fading drama-ettes of upper middle class taboos, and the more modern obsession with psychological explanations, and rejected both for an ordinary, commonplace ending, tempered by the observation that 'the battle must continue.' Angus Wilson's 1952 Hemlock and After, with its bleak, black comedy of class and manners, was also close to the matter-of-fact modernity about sex that Alan liked to display. This was another book that he and Robin discussed - more evidence that officialdom and clinical management were not the only legacies of the Second World War. Yet Alan Turing could not share in this anarchic spirit as he might have wished. Less free than he appeared, he too was on the shore of life. A year later, on the evening of 7 June 1954, he killed himself.

Title: VAN GOGH — A LIFE Author: SIMON CALLOW B Vincent Van Gogh C Vincent's father G Leo Tolstoy H Christ J the committee on evangelisation K "Two instructors" L "a master" M French master O Monshe U the miners in the Borinage W Walt Whitman X unknown Y "people who walk in the darkness"
LOWEST OF THE LOW

Disillusioned with the ministry before he had even entered it, Vincent now said damningly that to trade in religion was on a par with trading in art or tulip bulbs. That, one would have thought, was an indictment sweeping enough to settle the matter once and for all.

But it was not. He still burned to preach the Gospel to the poor and to help them. Back again at the parsonage at Etten, he must have pleaded with sufficient eloquence to convince his father that he should be allowed to try. His stay at home coincided with a visit from the Reverend Jones of Isleworth, who had kept in touch and was now a friend of the family.

The two clergymen went with him on a trip to Laeken near Brussels. Vincent's father knew of a school there for training mission workers. It was an establishment that placed more emphasis on public speaking than on a knowledge of the classics, and the course was shorter and more intensive than anything comparable in Holland. So on 25 August 1878, the failed scholar, bookseller, and art dealer arrived in Laeken to start a three-month trial period. In his first letter from there he makes a significant little admission to Theo, and encloses a sketch: &bquo;I should like to begin making hasty sketches of some of the many things I meet … but as it would probably keep me from my real work it is better not to start.&equo;

Poised to begin his &bquo;real work&equo; as a missionary among the wretched of the earth, a holy man at last, he is paralleled in time with Tolstoy. In this same year, 1878, by an extraordinary confluence, their spiritual paths crossed, though they were travelling from opposite directions. Vincent would move on from evangelist to artist, and the great Russian, determined to live a life modelled on Christ, was beginning to regard all art as frivolous. In July, the month in which Vincent was enrolled at the mission school, a desperate Tolstoy and his friend Stakhov set off on a pilgrimage to the Optina Pustyn Monastery not far from Moscow. Tolstoy, uneasy about his wealth, wanted to reject violence in all its forms and live like a peasant. Vincent would soon see the struggle to turn himself into what he called a Peasant painter as his prime aim. In a diary started in the spring of 1878, Tolstoy wrote: &bquo;Read the Gospels. Christ says everywhere that everything temporal is false, and that only the abstract is real.&equo; The terms would not have been Vincent's, but the note of absolute certainty could be his. The religion Tolstoy was to advocate was remarkably like the only one Vincent could wholeheartedly contemplate, &bquo;a practical religion, not promising future bliss but bliss on earth.&equo; Close to the end of his life, Vincent referred approvingly to Tolstoy's My Religion, and spoke of his hopes for a &bquo;private and secret revolution in men from which a new religion will be born … something altogether new which will have no name, but will have the same effect of comforting, of making life possible, which the Christian religion used to have …&equo;.

His probationary period nearly over, he was suddenly hauled before the committee on evangelisation and told that he was unsuitable. Vincent was shattered. His state was serious enough for his father to be called. He had failed because of a lack of talent for impromptu speaking, considered essential for the task he was contemplating. He was also, it seems, notably short on humility. Two of Vincent's instructors later described their impressions of this eager novice who &bquo;did not know what submission was&equo;. According to one report, Vincent was as dismissive of academic study as he had been in Amsterdam. A master asked him on one occasion whether a word was nominative or dative, and back came his answer: &bquo;I don't really care, sir!&equo;

Another time, in a French lesson, when the word falaise (cliff) was being discussed, he jumped up and asked if he could illustrate the word by drawing a cliff on the blackboard. The master said no. At the end of the lesson the excitable Dutchman got hold of a piece of chalk and began to draw a cliff on the board. One pupil, laughing behind his back, tugged at his jacket to distract him. All at once Vincent swung round. His face contorted with rage, he lashed out, shocking everyone with his show of violence. Clearly he had little aptitude for meekness either.

Where next? While at Laeken he had seen miners, strange grisly beings to him. He made a sketch of the inn they frequented, adjoining a big coal shed. They would call in for a glass of beer on their way back from a shift. Mons he mentioned a district he had heard about, called the Borinage. It was possible that even a reject like him could be of use in such a godforsaken spot. He made enquiries. Yes, he could go there if he wished as a lay evangelist. Fired with enthusiasm he wrote to Theo: &bquo;Experience has shown that people who walk in the darkness … like the miners in the black coal mines, for instance, are very impressed by the works of the Gospel, and believe them, too.&equo;

The Borinage, desolate and impoverished, was a coalfield in the south-west of Belgium, near a region of flat blasted lands surmounted by slag heaps of waste. One assumes that his father financed this latest venture. He probably thought it would be short-lived. In fact Vincent spent twenty-two months in this terrible black country, a period nearly as long as his stay in France. For thirty Belgian francs a month he lodged with a pedlar by the name of van der Haegen who lived at Paturages, not far from Mons (the house was demolished in the early 1960s to allow for road widening). As soon as he got there he set to work. He visited the sick, taught his landlord's children, and gave Bible readings in the locality.

He was as shocked here as he had been by the scenes he had witnessed in London's East End. These were the realities of grinding poverty, the price paid in human terms for that age of worldwide industrial expansion into which he had been born. It festered here under his nose. And somehow, in a setting that had once been rural, it seemed yet more dire. The place was indescribably filthy and hopeless. The miners were emaciated, old before their time, and so were their bedraggled, staring women. At the centre of all that lived and moved in this ghastly universe was the mine. Around it clustered the settlement of miners' huts. Dead trees stuck up, together with blackened thorn hedges, dunghills, heaps of worthless coal. In the middle of his harrowing report he let slip a sentence, and we hear from that monster of objectivity inside every artist who sees everything as grist to the mill. &bquo;Maris,&equo; he wrote, &bquo;could make a wonderful picture of it.&equo;

It was a hell of human vileness he had fallen into, a great raw wound crying out to be bandaged. But what was one person able to do here? So many sickly and feverish people were wandering about, some of them half-maimed, some burned from explosions. All were trapped in something inhuman, into which they had dumbly delivered themselves.

The only real life, curiously enough, was underground, in the pit of hell itself. Out on the surface the villages struck him as being stunned, dead, and forsaken. The men themselves could hardly bear to be above ground; at least down below they had each other. Vincent asked to be wound down to the pit bottom. He saw the weird underworld life for himself, and heard the horrible drip of water leaking through. Children, boys and girls, were loading small carts to be dragged along by old horses. Vincent spoke almost enviously of the miners' darkness, and the chance it gave them to reclaim the light. He soon came to appreciate their special character, their solidarity and mutual trust, their innate hatred for anyone who was domineering, their intelligence and quickness in spite of being unable to read or write. Above all he was impressed by their bravery, and the haunting mournfulness of their deep-set eyes.

Winter was soon upon him. It gladdened him to see how even these degraded surroundings were touched by a curious beauty, as he watched the little gangs of miners making their way home, black as sweeps, in the white snow at twilight. Their houses, no more than huts, were scattered along the sunken tracks or half hidden in woods, or else perched on the slopes of the low hills. You could see the candlelight flickering through the small-paned windows, under roofs covered in moss. It was somehow medieval and hushed, in the shadow of the pit and its fiendish machinery.

These squat, frank men, working skilfully and terribly hard, who said little but had quick nervous responses, were not his equals — he saw them rather as his superiors. How could his role, safe on the surface with the women, be compared with theirs?

Everything here fed his masochism — as he had known instinctively that it would when he applied for a similar position in the English coalfields some years before, only to be told that he was not mature enough. Now there were other motives being satisfied, and scores being subtly settled. Vincent's father spent more time ministering to the Catholic majority than to his own Protestant flock in the Brabant. Vincent, in Catholic Belgium, although emulating his father once again was also mocking him, by going to the limit in a way that passed judgement on his parents' safe Christianity, while putting himself beyond criticism. Christ would surely have acted as he, Vincent, was doing. Therefore he was the true follower of Jesus Christ. Instead of lagging woefully behind, he had surpassed them.

He had come to the Borinage as his parents' representative, dressed correctly in the approved manner, his accents refined, and &bquo;showed in his appearance all the characteristics of Dutch cleanliness.&equo; But not for long. Spiritual instruction was the last thing these downtrodden people needed, he argued. Instead of Bible teaching, he ought to be translating fine words into deeds. He changed direction almost overnight.

Then in January 1879 the Mission School committee relented and informed his father that he could have a temporary post after all. Vincent was sent to near-by Wasmes and given a salary of fifty Belgian francs a month. Overjoyed at having a recognised part to play, he taught the Scriptures, but spent most of his time assisting the poor and the ailing. Even in this hell-hole he found a kind of salvation. Being a combination of social worker, medical auxiliary, and teacher to these miners and their families meant that he was able to break out of the prison of his hateful loneliness. Besides, it was fitting that he should serve a people who were so obviously more admirable as human beings than himself.

His compulsion to be of service and to act from his feelings had found its outlet. He had been pressing for the opportunity to abandon himself, free of dogma, and here it was. He was his own master, dedicated only to Christ, who had asserted the brotherhood of man. If he neglected his physical body, there was no one here to reprimand him, for the whole community was woefully neglected. His heart was appalled by what he saw, but in his heart also there lurked a triumph. This hell he had entered could be his heaven.

Soon, whatever he did, no matter how hard and long he worked, it was not enough. Apocryphal stories abound. Like Walt Whitman, who became a wound dresser in the American Civil War in order to draw closer to the simple young soldiers he adored and whom he wished to tend, Vincent sought to draw nearer to Christ. First he threw off his respectability, exchanging it for &bquo;an old soldier's tunic and a shabby cap&equo;. Nothing was enough. Nothing satisfied his urge to descend lower, until he was low enough to identify with these men who lay entombed in cramped cells, and crawled on all fours in the dark. Through them he would know Christ.